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Yuuji sat up quickly. He saw gray spots dancing with his shitty night vision, he felt his body shaking. He was soaked with sweat on his forehead and back mostly, his blanket was kicked off the bed and he was scared. All the shadows in his room looked like him.
Yuuji turned on the lights with trembling fingers, scared that once he turns them on, he’ll see him smirking down at him, holding their head with bloody hands.
Once the room was illuminated with the soft, warm light he could relax a tad bit. Yuuji looked at his shaking hands. They weren’t listening to the verbal commands, it felt like they weren’t his hands.
“I-it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay...” His voice was small, and he felt like he might spiral into a panic attack again. At that thought Yuuji felt even more scared. He put his hands over his ears roughly, trying to recall Gojo sensei’s method of calming down from an anxiety attack.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay...” It was like a mantra, like if he tells this phrase enough times it comes true. It was unfortunate that Inumaki senpai wasn’t here in the dorm. He was a night owl, basically always up, and with his Cursed Speech he could always force the other students into a tranquil trans, should it come to that.
But Yuuji was on his own.
After a few agonizing minutes of adjusting his breathing, Yuuji checked his phone. It was almost 4 AM, so he had 3 more hours to sleep. Yeah, not a chance.
Yuuji tiredly combed through his sweaty hair and slowly got up. He changed his sweater and shirt sluggishly to another oversized black hoodie. He sat down to his desk and tiredly took out a few notebooks, textbooks and other stationery. No matter how painfully early it is, if he wakes from a nightmare with him, there’s no way he’ll be able to go back to sleep.
Yuuji turned on some soft lofi music, pulled his knees to his chest on the chair and began studying for the mid-terms.
God, he was so tired.
The boy rubbed his eyes at least 20 times in the past 5 minutes. He wanted to sleep so badly...but he never let him. Yuuji didn’t know if this was a tactical trick, so that he’ll lose focus mid battle and injure, possibly kill himself, or more to satisfy his sadistic tendencies. Most likely the last one.
Yuuji tried every sleeping pill in the pharmacy he could get without a prescription, and even discreetly asked Shoko sensei to prescribe him something, but to no avail. When the doctor asked him a few weeks later if the pills worked, he said yes though, not wanting to worry anyone. He didn’t tell his friends either, though he knew Megumi suspected something. But it’s not like they could help him. This sucks, but what can Yuuji do? He has a really responsible role as a soon to be Jujutsu Sorcerer, the curses won’t care if he’s tired, sleepy, exhausted and worn out because he hasn’t slept more than 4 hours for weeks.
He has a job, he has to do it. In this profession the stakes are too high to let himself slack off. The tiniest mistake could lead to the death of hundreds if not thousands.
Yuuji’s vision was bit blurry from the morning tears. His handwriting has never been the prettiest, but right now it was almost incomprehensible even to him. The music helped him focus a bit though, shutting down all the malicious voices. Luckily, he was quiet now. He was always quiet after he had his fun tormenting Yuuji in his dreams. Usually the malevolent cooing and the cruel purring of horrifying, gory things came before he went to sleep, promising nothing, but a horror movie as a dream.
Yuuji pulled his legs tighter to his chest, curling on himself as much as possible, trying to give himself some solace. He just wanted to be hugged right now...
Megumi and Nobara was asleep and he didn’t want to wake them up. They three were constantly studying for the mid-terms and if they weren’t, they were busy completing missions and training. It would be so selfish for Yuuji to deny his friends the only thing that kept them going: sleep.
Yuuji was writing kanjis upon kanjis, he wasn’t feeling as sick as before, since his body accumulated to the constant tiredness throughout the months. He felt himself going into that flow state. The black ink of his pen on the pearly white paper, the soft lights and the music provided some sort of feeling of comfort at least.
He was in the middle of writing on a sticky note about the conjugation of an irregular verb when he felt a presence in his room. Being paranoic was a major symptom of insomnia, but as a Jujutsu Sorcerer he had this thing, call it a sixth sense, where he could just feel cursed energy.
Yuuji turned around slowly. It was probably Nobara or Megumi, though he didn’t hear the door, nor their footsteps, but then again, he was tired as fuck plus he had headphones on.
When he turned around, he locked gazes with his teacher. Or...he would’ve locked gazes, if it wasn’t for the blindfold. Yuuji looked surprised. His teacher was still in his uniform, standing in the middle of his room.
“Gojo sensei?!” He pulled his headphones down to rest them on his shoulders. Yuuji asked with a worried tone. “Are you okay?”
The man looked...weird. He wasn’t injured – honestly Yuuji didn’t believe Gojo could get any sorts of hurt with Infinity – but he looked like something was wrong. His posture was stiff and his usual confidence gone from his shoulders, they just slumped down.
“Hello Yuuji!” His voice was cheerful as ever, but even the most oblivious person in Tokyo, aka Yuuji could tell it was forced. “Of course, everything’s okay dummy, have some faith in your sensei Yuuji-kun!” He scolded playfully.
“Then why are you here?” Maybe it came off ruder than he expected, but this was weird even from Gojo.
“Oh, I just saw the lights in your room and wanted to check up on you. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, thanks sensei.” Yuuji cracked a small, but genuine smile. Something was definitely up with Gojo sensei. He was the smartest and most observant person Yuuji knows, yet there weren’t any signs that Gojo caught up on his little sleeping problem. Which was also a problem.
Yuuji knew that Gojo sensei liked to place himself last in the priority queue, but he also knew that the man was incredibly stubborn, so if he doesn’t want to tell him the problem, he damn right wasn’t going to.
And right now, he was too tired for this debate-showdown.
They stared at each other in silence, waiting for the other to break it. Gojo looked like he wanted to say something, but he only clapped his hands together cheerfully.
“Well, that’s good to hear. I’ll let you study now. Bye-bye Yuuji-kun!”
Before Gojo could walk out of the room, Yuuji stopped him.
“Wait! Sensei...why are you in uniform? Do you always wake up this early?” The boy tilted his head to the side, clearly worried for the health of his sensei.
“Ah, no, actually I go to sleep around 4.” Gojo said this like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Yuuji waited for him to say ‘just kidding’, but Gojo was dead serious.
“For real??”
“Mhm.”
“But...there’s no way that’s good for you sensei! You shouldn’t neglect your health like this!” Gojo smiled softly at hsi sweet student's exclaims.
“Don’t worry, sensei is used to this.”
‘You shouldn’t though...' Yuuji wanted to desperately yell this at him, but that would most likely wake everyone up.
“Though I have a reeeally important and reeeally boring meeting in an hour, so...” Gojo’s eyes trailed to the door.
Wait.
“But sensei...when will you sleep?”
“Tomorrow.” They stared at each other for a few moments, Gojo with a childish pout and Yuuji with a shocked expression.
“Okay, we’re going to sleep.” Yuuji put down his pen and turned off the lights at his desk. He quickly grabbed Gojo’s elbow before he could make a run for it, and pulled him down into the bed.
“But Yuuujii!” Despite his whining, he was fully obedient, despite the fact that he could easily overpower Yuuji. But Yuuji knew Gojo sensei wouldn’t do that to any of his students.
“Take off your shoes sensei!” Yuuji ordered. Gojo obeyed with a pout and he climbed next to Yuuji.
Gojo hugged Yuuji by the waist and buried his head into Yuuji’s chest, inhaling his scent. Yuuji hugged his sensei by the shoulder and slowly caressed his hair. The younger slowly undid the blindfold and placed it carefully to the nightstand table.
Gojo looked up at him with his tired eyes. The circles around his eyes were light, not like Yuuji’s.
Yuuji scoffed. That’s not fair.
But upon closer look, his eyes were really tired. His eyelids were slumped down and they were just...worn out. Gojo’s eyes basically represented the whole Jujutsu society, shiny and perfect, but upon closer inspection draining and artificial.
Yuuji’s expression must’ve turned into something weird, since Gojo sensei pulled his hand from his waist and slowly caressed Yuuji’s cheek.
“It’s okay.”
“But sensei...how could they treat you like this?” Yuuji felt like he was on the verge of crying. Gojo sensei not only seems very lonely sometimes, but on top of this workload...And since he was the Strongest, he had the weight of the whole on his back. Yuuji wished he could take this weight off of him, onto himself. It doesn’t matter if it’s too much for Yuuji, it would be so much better if Gojo sensei wouldn’t suffer.
“Oh Yuuji...It’s okay. This is my responsibility, you shouldn’t worry about it.” He carefully flicked Yuuji’s forehead, but the boy still had that bitter face. Gojo sighed.
“This is just what my life is, Yuuji. I can’t do anything about it. Sometimes there has to be a sacrifice.”
Yuuji sniffed sadly and hugged his teacher closer to himself. Gojo reciprocated the touch, and he made gentle circles on Yuuji’s waist. Yuuji softly massaged Gojo’s head, at the roots of his hair. He heard this could release some tension, and it seemed to be working, since the other leaned into his touch more and more, the two of them being impossibly close.
It felt nice. Holding someone like that and being held in return. The weight of the other’s hand resting across his waist, the smell of his expensive shampoo and the thick, fluffy comforter on them...it was perfect. Their legs entangled, though Yuuji wasn’t sure if his bed could comfortably accommodate Gojo’s long legs, the other seemed perfectly relaxed. Nobody spoke, but it felt like they understood each other the most like this.
They laid like that for who knows how long, and for the first time in months, Yuuji didn’t dream with him.
“Should we uh...wake them?”
“Nah, this is great blackmail material!” Nobara whipped out her phone and took as many pictures as possible, most likely filling half her gallery, which was an understatement, since it’s Nobara we’re talking about.
Megumi looked like he hasn’t decided if he’ll kill himself or a certain white-haired man, cuddling with the cinnamon roll of Jujutsu Tech.
After Nobara was done taking pics, both of them just stood in Yuuji’s door, not knowing what to do next.
“So...does that mean classes are canceled?”