Chapter Text
It was so weird. Being in the same room with Missy and Amy. Even after months of spending time with the both of them, he still couldn't fathom their bond.
What did they even have in common?
What did they even talk about?
How was this so easy for the both of them?
Those were the questions that lingered in his mind ever since Missy became friends with this girl named Amy Farrah Fowler.
She was the girl who moved a couple blocks away, and apparently that was enough for Missy to befriend her during their last year of middle school.
But he thought it was a little strange. She seemed like someone more fit to be friends with him. She seemed to match his intelligence, she was so impeccable. Her wit was more than enough to challenge his brain.
Well, whatever. It was not his call to meddle in their friendship. He didn't care enough to do something about it, he merely observed their friendship due to the unlikely bond that formed between them.
Months, and months had passed. He didn't even know where these feelings came from, but he sort of grew fond of Amy. But he didn't want to admit that to anyone just yet.
Maybe it was better this way. Just a little secret he can keep to himself.
One day, when Amy was waiting for Missy for their hangout, she stayed in Sheldon and Missy's room. Even after all these years, Missy continued with her baseball hobby. It was something she stuck with.
All because of Missy's stupid baseball competition. He thought. He shouldn't focus on Amy. He had better things to do, like bury himself in figuring out the mysteries of the universe.
But he couldn't help it. He kept stealing glances at the bespectacled girl near him.
Because Mom had to ask me to keep her company. Ugh.
Well, maybe this wasn't so bad. They were quiet, as usual. He did miss their chess matches though. And their usual conversations regarding science and some of their interests.
Oh, and the way she talked. He thought no one could match his intelligence, yet here she was, proving him wrong.
But he decided to shrug it off. It just wasn't worth thinking about. Of course that was what he kept telling himself, and he almost believed it. Almost.
Again, she was just here to wait for Missy. So why was he so excited about seeing Amy?
Deep down, he already knew. But he was going to push that idea back in the depths of his mind. He wasn't going to entertain it.
But his mind betrayed him, just a bit. He kept stealing glances at Amy who was doing her own thing.
“You're still here, Amy?” Sheldon asked after a few minutes.
“Of course.” Amy said. She didn't know why Sheldon was being more attentive than usual. But what surprised her was the way that she…liked it. She noticed him staring at her every couple of seconds.
If someone had to ask her if she liked being friends with him, she knew what she'd say.
Well, of course, she liked being friends with Sheldon. His intelligence was off the charts. It challenged her brain, more than she'd like to admit. But if someone had to ask her if she liked him, she wasn't sure. Maybe she did. She shook her head. This wasn't an idea worth entertaining.
Amy was sitting on Missy's bed, as usual. Meanwhile, Sheldon was reading a book as he sat on his own bed.
She looked around Sheldon and Missy's shared room for as long as she could, until she asked Sheldon something strange.
“You enjoy my presence, right?” Amy wasn't sure why she was being like this.
“What do you mean? I simply tolerate your presence. You shouldn't have to ask that question. It is obvious.” Sheldon stated in a nonchalant tone, trying to hide the truth.
“Hm. Whatever.” Amy huffed.
It was minutes later that Amy said something again.
“You totally enjoy my presence.”
“No, I don't.” Sheldon said in denial. Of course he was going to be like this. He kept his eyes staring at the page of the physics book he was stuck on ever since Amy came in.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, why would I not be sure?”
I guess this was her cue. She spoke her next words and got up. “Hm, nothing. Moving on, can I leave now?”
“What, no! I didn't say that you had to leave…” Sheldon jerked his head up when he realized Amy was leaving. He stared at her form and waited for her to say something.
“You said you were merely tolerating my presence. Clearly, that was a sign for me to leave.” Amy reasoned, standing outside the room and staring at Sheldon.
“I didn't mean it…you don't have to leave…please stay.” Sheldon buried his face in his hands and muttered those words he was supposed to keep to himself.
“Fine. I won't leave.” Amy's expression softened a bit, but she was still curious about what caused him to be this way.
Sheldon breathed a sigh of relief when she agreed to stay. He looked up from his hands to look at her, but swiftly averted his gaze when he noticed her softened expression.
Of course, a part of him was secretly happy to have her around, but he tried to hide it by pretending to be annoyed. He just did not want to admit it.
“I do have one question, though. Why are you insistent on making me stay?” Amy asked as she observed Sheldon's weird behavior.
Sheldon's heart started racing a bit faster when Amy asked the question. He knew he couldn't tell her the truth. So, he gave her the first excuse that he came up with.
"Missy is playing baseball, and I'm quite bored. Therefore, someone has to keep me occupied, and that would be you." Sheldon tried to keep himself composed.
“Really? That's the reason you could come up with?” Amy huffed in frustration.
“Yes, why do you ask? Were you expecting a different answer?” Sheldon bluntly said, but regretted his tone afterwards.
“Well, I don't know. Maybe it was just me hoping that you actually wanted me to be here. Was that too much to ask for, Sheldon?”
She said this all, wondering why the words kept flowing out of her mouth so easily. She didn't know how to stop herself. Amy turned her head away when Sheldon looked at her with a hint of confusion and, even if he didn't want to show it, a tiny bit of guilt.
Something tugged at Sheldon's heart, realizing how vulnerable she was towards him. It had caught him off guard, and frankly he wasn't sure of what he was supposed to do.
“I didn't mean what I said…I just…well…” Sheldon was starting to fidget with his hands absentmindedly.
He was struggling with his words. He didn't know how to tell her that he was enjoying her presence around him. It was just too complicated.
“It's just what, Sheldon?” Amy asked with desperation.
As much as she didn't want to admit it, she liked him. A lot. She did like him as a friend, but this feeling was more complex than that. She knew these feelings were getting stronger day by day, and it was getting hard to control. But she couldn't admit it to him. Not now. Maybe not ever.
“I'm sorry…I shouldn't have put you under pressure. I should just go…” Amy got up from the bed and walked to the bedroom door.
Just as she was opening the door, Sheldon spoke.
“No, wait!”
As Amy turned around to face him, Sheldon took a deep breath and tried to find the words to say to her.
“Well, I do…want…you here. It's just that I'm having a hard time expressing myself. I'm not good at this. These emotions, they're difficult to work around with.”
He said it with so much honesty in his voice. Saying these things out loud was really difficult for him, it took a lot of courage.
“I wish you had told me earlier. I am sorry, Sheldon.”
Amy walked up to him and looked in his eyes, seeing his softened gaze. Maybe things will get better, after all.
Sheldon looked at her, he hated this. Feeling so vulnerable around her. But he was around her. He liked that. And to add to that, expressing what he was feeling felt quite liberating.
“Amy, I'm sorry, too. I should've told you. But…it's difficult for me. But maybe…maybe it's time I try harder.”
Even though it was just a small confession, it was still a big thing for him. He had just expressed what he was feeling, hadn't he?
Of course, Amy had realized this. Amy smiled. That was good. She knew he could do it.
“Well, I'm glad. I'm proud of you, Sheldon.” Her tone was so loving, she wanted Sheldon to know that she really was proud of him.
“You are?” Sheldon couldn't help but ask. No one had even taken him this serious before. He felt surprised—and really glad—that someone had told him that. And that someone was Amy.
Amy nodded.
“Of course. I know you excel at a lot of things, but there are times when you have difficulty in expressing and recognizing your emotions. I'm proud of you for trying, even when it can be difficult.” She looked up at him and smiled sweetly.
“Thank you, Amy.”
It was all he said. But his heart fluttered at what she had just told him, genuinely feeling thankful at her understanding and support. He looked at her, his expression softening a bit more.
“You're welcome, Sheldon. That's what friends are for, right?” She said with a bit of sadness, but she buried that feeling in her mind and focused on one important thing. She was Sheldon's friend. This was what they had. And she was willing to stay.
Even though Sheldon had heard the word ‘friend’ so many times, hearing it from her had stung. He didn't want to feel this way, and just brushed it all off to form a forced smile on his lips.
“Friends. Of course.” Sheldon repeated, the words sounding a bit bitter from him.
“Right. Well, uhm…”
Amy shifted and looked around the room. She was starting to feel the awkwardness rising, and she needed to stop it.
“Should we play a board game? Chess?”
Amy asked in hopes that it would stop the tension from growing. This was it. Everything would be fine. They were friends after all. But she hoped for a bit more than that…
Nope. She has to bury this feeling. It wouldn't do her good. But isn't it a bit ironic? Here she was, bottling up her feelings, while he actually expressed his feelings. The table had somehow turned.
Even with his inadequate skills in sensing emotions, he knew the tension in the room was building up.
But with Amy's suggestion, he was grateful for the distraction. Anything would do, just to get his mind off his complicated feelings towards her.
“Yes. Chess is fine.” Sheldon walked up to his desk and took the chessboard. He started setting up, while Amy was lost in thought.
Sheldon was determined to act casual. Hide everything he felt. The turmoil in his mind was just not something he wanted to show.
When he had finished, they started playing the board game. It had worked for a bit, as a distraction.
But then Amy had to ask something. It was such a strange day he was having.