Chapter Text
Rin leaned against the railing beneath harbour bridge, looking at the beautiful skyline of Sydney. It was hard to believe he was back here after spending two years in Japan. He glanced to his left, at the young man beside him. It was even more incredible that Haru was here with him. This had been one of his mad ideas, acting first and thinking later, but miraculously, it had worked out.
Makoto had called him two days ago in the early morning and asked him for help. ”He won't talk to me, Rin.” Makoto said. ”He needs help, and I think you are the only person who could get through to him now.”
Rin had been touched, even flattered. These words coming from Makoto, who was basically on a mind-reading basis with Haru, were enough to speed up his heartbeat. ”Why me?” he had asked.
”Because you are really important to him, Rin. I know him well enough. He will listen to you.”
Did Makoto know what these words did to him? His heartbeat went up immediately, even now, at the memory of hearing them. Haru had been his childhood crush during elementary school, his obsession during his teenage years abroad. But over the last year, with their growing friendship, his feelings had grown and matured as well. He knew, the deep love he felt for the man beside him was only growing stronger with time, despite all his efforts to keep these feelings at bay and well hidden.
To buy last-minute tickets for the next flight to Sydney had been the first idea that crossed his mind after Makoto's phone call. And hotheaded as he was, Rin had booked the flights without thinking twice. When Rin had shown up at Haru's front door with the plane tickets and his backpack, Haru had less than an hour left to get ready and going. In hindsight it was really crazy that Haru had agreed to come with him on such a short notice. ”I'm going to show you a sight you've never seen before.” This cheesy line had always worked its magic on both of them, and it hadn't failed to deliver this time. Haru had given him a hint of a smile and packed his travel bag.
The first day had passed without bigger mishaps, aside from having to awkwardly share a bed. Haru had been clearly exhausted, and he fell asleep quickly. Rin had found himself laying beside him in the bed, watching over him, worrying it might had been an error to bring him here. He knew that Haru was going through a rough time, and maybe this trip would prove too much for him. Haru had looked so peaceful and yet so vulnerable in his sleep that it took all of Rin's willpower to refrain himself from wrapping his arms around him. Haru had so many problems at the moment, Rin didn't want to add one more to them.
In the morning though, Haru had looked more relaxed. He had still been rather quiet during breakfast, but that wasn't unusual. To Rin's relief he had clearly enjoyed swimming in the Olympic arena in the morning. Rin had been worried to bring him here, but he could see the visible tension finally leave his shoulders once he was on the starting block. They had even raced some of the Australian national swimmers. Both Haru and Rin had left the Australians quite impressed despite losing to them, which was satisfying in an odd way.
Afterwards, Rin had lead Haru through the city, showing him the places he liked. Rin's first stay in Sydney as a teenager had been a bitter experience at parts, but there were still places and sights he remembered fondly. The railing where they where standing now was one of them. Though, Rin realized embarrassedly, he had been looking at Haru more than at the city skyline in front of him. Had Haru noticed it, too? Rin felt the urge to say something to break the silence between them.
”You know, Haru, this is it. This is my dream.” He glanced at Haru, relieved to see that Haru didn't flinch. ”My former coach invited me back to train with him for the Olympics. I'm going to do it, you know. Coming back, training for real this time. Having my revenge at Australia.”
Haru turned his gaze towards him, catching his eye. For a brief moment, Rin thought to see a flicker of concern in his gaze, but it passed quickly. Haru gave him a slight nod and a hint of a smile which made Rin's heart jump. ”Suits you well. I really hope it works out for you.”
Haru turned back to look down at the city. ”You know, I've actually found my dream, too.” he continued, to Rin's surprise. ”I am going to Tokyo, and I will accept the offer of one of the scouts. One day I want to return to such an incredible natatorium as today, to show the world my own way of swimming.”
Rin gasped in surprise. ”Haru, I'm so happy!” he exclaimed, but he was instantly silenced by Haru's intent gaze.
”Rin, there is more to it,” Haru went on earnestly, shortly locking eyes with him, but immediately turning his head to the side again. Did he blush, or was the light playing a trick on Rin? ”I only want to do it, if we are in this together,” he said in a low voice.
Rin's heart definitely did a backflip this time, and without thinking he pulled Haru into a tight hug. ”Of course we are in this together!” he exclaimed. ”I wouldn't want it any other way! I'll always want swim with you, you know that!”
Suddenly self aware, Rin let go and turned scarlet. But Haru just gave him a short, satisfied nod. ”Good.”
”Good?”
”Yeah, you said always,” Haru replied simply.
Rin didn't know if it was possible to blush even more. Haru admitting he wanted him in his life too was more than he could ask for. A new hope surged up in his chest, hard to contain. Rin bit his lower lip, trying to find the right words to reflect his feelings.
It was Haru who interrupted the silence first. ”Rin, is it okay to have the same dream?” he asked with a slight tremble in his voice.
Rin looked at him in surprise. The stoic expression on Haru's face didn't fool him this time. There definitely was a hint of pink on Haru's cheekbones, and his eyes had a glitter of anxiousness and – hope? – in them. It strangely relaxed Rin to see Haru emotional. He took Haru's hand, squeezing softly.
”Yes, with you, it's okay,” he replied at a low voice, attentively watching Haru's reaction.
Haru's lips curled upwards ever so slightly, and he slightly squeezed his hand in return.
Inspired by a sudden boldness, Rin reached out for Haru's face, gently caressing his cheek. For a split second Haru tensed up wide eyed, and Rin briefly feared he might have overstepped. Then Haru gave in to the touch, tilting his head into Rin's hand like a cat.
”Haru,” Rin whispered, ”please tell me if I'm reading this wrong.”
Haru shook his head ever so slightly, leaning further into Rin's touch. Rin bent forward, tentatively brushing his lips against Haru's for a short moment. Before he could fully retreat, Haru wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. They locked their lips again, this time for real. Haru was careful and gentle, and despite the initial clumsiness it felt perfect. Rin had dreamt of this moment so many times, but none of his dreams came close to the feeling of Haru's lips softly opening for him, making space for his tongue, thereby trembling as much as he did himself. In this moment, the world spun forward without them.
***
Later, Rin couldn't remember how they spent the rest of the afternoon, where they went or if they talked at all, he only recalled the firm grip of Haru's hand in his. They walked through the city, their fingers interlaced. It felt so natural, strolling through the streets side by side, as if they had been together like this for years. And still Rin's heart wouldn't stop beating at double pace every time he glanced at Haru. He looked radiant, a soft glow on the cheeks, a tiny smile on his lips, a spark in the eye reflecting his own emotions. For so many years Rin had pushed his feelings away. He had tried to distance himself from Haru, had tried to stop longing, tried to convince himself he was better off alone, but it had only resulted in him (or both of them, as he now realized) hurting even worse.
”I'm sorry for being an idiot, Haru” he whispered, and was forgiven with a gentle kiss.
Eventually, after a short dinner (both of them were too exhilarated to really feel hungry), they headed back to their hotel room. At the sight of the queen-sized bed in their bedroom, Rin froze up. It made him unreasonably uncomfortable, and all of a sudden he felt insecure. How was he supposed to spend this night beside Haru? What did Haru expect him to do?
”Rin” Haru gently jabbed at his side. ”We will work it out together, okay? No need to rush anything.”
Rin nodded thankfully. While Haru took a shower, Rin packed his backpack, not really looking forward to traveling home the next morning. When it was his turn to have a shower, Rin let all the emotions of the day sink in, gathering his thoughts. It was hard to believe that this day had been real at all. Whatever he had hoped to achieve with this trip, he got way more than he had bargained for. He could still feel Haru's hand in his, Haru's lips on his. His whole body tingled.
At the time Rin returned to the room, Haru was already lying in the bed, his eyes closed and his breath slow and rhythmic. Rin wondered whether Haru might have already fallen asleep when he crept under the blanket as quietly as possible. He turned towards Haru and watched the beautiful lines of his face. A rush of affection surged through his body. He had always known how delicate Haru's face was, but for the first time in his life he felt entitled to keep looking at him.
That moment, Haru opened his eyes, radiant blue orbs looking straight at him. ”Rin, is this real?” he asked dreamily.
”Of course, dummy!” Rin smiled. He just reached out for Haru's hands which were clasped in front his face and pulled them to his lips. ”Shall I show you how real I am?” he joked mischievously, but fell immediately silent at the stern, slightly anxious look on Haru's face. ”Haru, I won't do anything you don't want me to, you know that, right?” Haru nodded and Rin gently reached out to stroke one stubborn strand of black hair out of his face. ”You were the one to say, we would work it out,” he reminded him softly.
Haru shuffled closer, slinging his arms around Rin's waist. ”Sorry,” he muttered shakily. “I don't really know what to do.”
Rin couldn't grasp what even a small gesture like this did to his poor heart. Yet it was reassuring for himself, their mutual nervousness easing each other a little. ”Yeah, I know. Me too.”
It turned out, they didn't need to worry. After a few insecure kisses they soon found their pace with each other, exploring their bodies with their hands and their lips, red faced and panting. It was like swimming together in perfect harmony. They didn't need to phrase any limits aloud, knowing each other so well. As soon as one of them grew tense, the other calmed and reassured him with a gentle stroke or kiss. The intensity of their intimacy made Rin tear up more than once. This was a completely new side of Haru – his Haru – he got to know, vulnerable and emotional as he had never seen him before. Haru, gently kissing the tears from his face, glowing from affection. Late in the night, when Haru fell asleep in his arms, using his chest as a pillow, Rin was sure to have never felt happier in his entire life.
The next morning, they had to head for the airport much too early. Haru gloomily stared out of the cab. Rin tried to cheer him up at first, but every conversation died down quickly. In the end, Rin just took his hand and squeezed it gently. Haru gave him a thankful little smile, and together they watched the awakening city rush over. Until the day before, Rin would have assumed that Haru just wasn't interested in talking to him, but now he knew better. He sensed Haru's underlying anxiety and could feel how much his touch relaxed him.
”We aren't going back to normal, are we?” Haru asked in a quiet whisper, glancing insecurely at him.
Rin squeezed his hand firmly. ”You won't get rid of me that quickly, I promise,” he whispered into Haru's hair. Haru gave him a small thankful smile, sending Rin's heartbeat up again. Rin began to wonder, if his heartbeat would ever be normal again.
”I don't know what to tell everybody,” Haru admitted, still looking insecure about their homecoming.
”We don't have to rush things, Haru. We can tell them later. It's not fragile how I feel about you, and I don't mind keeping it to ourselves for now.”
”Thank you, Rin.” Haru finally relaxed a little, leaning his head against Rin's shoulder. ”But Makoto will know.”
”So will Sousuke,” Rin agreed with a fond smile on his lips. ”Don't worry. I trust them both. We will be fine, I promise.”
Back in Tokyo, Makoto surprised them at the airport, and soon they were all joking and chatting. For a moment, Rin was amazed how easily they slipped back into their roles as friends and rivals, bottling up the boyfriends part for now. Then it struck him that both of them had practiced hiding their feelings for each other for years. How stupid they had been to hide it even from each other!
When they finally had to part, Rin waved jovially and set off, hiding the wish to kiss Haru goodbye deep inside him.
” Rin!” Haru softly called after him. Their eyes locked. ”Thank you!” I love you.
***
Sousuke of course scolded him for flying off with Haru. The two never got along very well. Sousuke had always been very protective of Rin and weirdly jealous of Haru. Most likely he had known about Rin's feelings for Haru longer than Rin had himself. So when Sousuke asked if it at least was a good trip, Rin simply answered ”It was worth it.” - and Sousuke understood. He smiled, but it was a grim smile.
Later, when Rin and Sousuke were alone in their hotel room, the mood became palpably tense. Rin felt the need to explain himself, but Sousuke talked first.
”So you let your feelings get the better of you again!” he shot at him, reproachfully. ”He hurt you once, and he will hurt you again and again! Don't let him come between you and your dreams!”
Rin was honestly shocked. Despite all the disagreements they’d had over the years, Rin had never felt so misunderstood before. ”No, Sousuke, you are wrong. Haru never hurt me, Haru saved me, again and again. And remember, he is part of my dream!”
Sousuke glared at him. ”So you will abandon your plans, throw away your once-in-a-lifetime chance for supreme professional training and become a house-husband.”
That stung. Rin had indeed been pondering if he should cancel the training in Sydney and move in with Haru in Tokyo instead. ”There are good coaches in Tokyo, too!” he retorted defiantly. ”And we didn't even discuss the matter yet,” he added quickly, to take the wind out of Sousuke's sails.
”Don't say I didn't warn you!” Sousuke hissed. ”How convenient for Nanase, having you put down here, while he can follow his own dreams!”
Rin felt his blood boiling, the anger and frustration welling up in his chest. He stormed out of the hotel room without another word, knowing that if he stayed another moment, this fight would end violently.
Outside, Rin aimlessly rushed through Tokyo's streets. He wanted to scream from frustration. After a long run, the cool air and the physical effort finally calmed him down. Slowing down his pace, Rin finally had time to ponder the last two days. He felt emotionally overwhelmed and drained at once. So many things had happened, he couldn't process them so soon. He had to admit Sousuke was right: he already missed Haru's closeness, only a few hours after they parted ways. How would a long-distance relationship work out, when they couldn't see each other for months? And Sousuke was right about another thing, too: it indeed was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to train in Sydney with a world-renowned coach, he couldn't give up this scholarship. No matter how much he longed to be close to Haru, it was still his dream to participate at the Tokyo Olympics in 2020.
Rin considered calling Haru right away, but something held him back. Instead, he just sent a short message: ”Good night, Haru! See you tomorrow!” To his great surprise it took no more than 20 seconds to get a reply. ”Good night Rin! Go to sleep!” He smiled. Haru was not only keeping his phone close, but also knew how to reassure him. These two simple lines were soothing the uproar inside him. Rin felt finally calm enough to return to his hotel room and face Sousuke again.
Sousuke looked immensely relieved upon his return. ”I am sorry, Rin!” he said immediately. ”I shouldn't interfere. It is your life, and your decision. And I know, he makes you happy, even if I can't see why.”
”Yeah, he really makes me happy, more than I even dared to imagine,” Rin replied, cooler than he intended. ”But that doesn't mean I have to give up all my dreams. I know Haru wouldn't want me to. Besides, our love for each other has survived worse, we will work this out, too.”
”You are still a hopeless romantic!” Sousuke smirked, but the look in his eyes was warm and supporting. He might not approve of Haru, but he would always be there for Rin.