Chapter Text
The autumn wind whipped harshly through Mary’s hair as she stepped out onto her balcony. The crisp October weather of Minneapolis was in full swing with Halloween a week away. Mary pulled her cardigan tightly around herself as she gazed over the glittering city lights. She’d just gotten off the phone with her fiancé – it was still so strange to think of him in those terms, but he’d proposed two weeks ago and she’d accepted. Richard was a handsome, successful, stable, dependable man. The type of man everyone expected Mary to end up with. It only made sense to accept his proposal. Six months ago she’d celebrated her thirty-ninth birthday and she was starting to feel like she was running out of time.
Time for what exactly she didn’t know. Children? No, she felt the time for those had already passed her by and surprisingly, she didn’t feel any loss about this. For so long she’d been sure she wanted children, but now she wondered if that wasn’t just an expectation placed on her by her parents, by society. She’d been raised in the 40’s and 50’s. She was brought up to believe you found the right man, settled down and had kids. When her first relationship with Bill hadn’t worked out and she’d moved to Minneapolis, it had been somewhat of a minor scandal in the small town of Roseburg. Everyone had been so sure she would marry, but instead she’d struck out on her own and made a career for herself. A career she was now devoted to. After she was fired from WJM two years ago she had been offered a job as a producer at the top rated news station in Minneapolis. To say she’d been surprised would have been an understatement. She had no idea her work was being so closely monitored by other stations in the area. It was very flattering and she’d jumped at the opportunity.
She had thought working as a producer for WJM had its share of challenges, but her new position was demanding in very new ways. Working for such a successful station came with a list of very high demands. Mistakes were not tolerated well and perfection was the expectation. It had been a gruelling time for her and for the first few months she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to make it there after all, but then everything started coming together. Mary learned to develop a thicker skin, to adjust to a workplace where her colleagues were only that – not like the makeshift family she had formed at WJM. No, this was very different. People were climbing that ladder and they were not afraid to take you down if it meant they would rise up. Not to mention the amount of men that resented her success, or propositioned her inappropriately if she wanted to continue to succeed. She had been very sheltered at WJM and in those first months she’d learned a number of hard lessons, but she had learned. Now she was seen as a tough, but fair professional woman who could not be taken advantage of.
Eight months ago she’d met Richard at a corporate function for the station. He was one of their lawyers and had quickly made his interest clear. At first she declined his advances. She didn’t have time for romance in her life; her work consumed her. However, he was persistent, and after the third week of receiving flowers from him, she caved and agreed to go out on a date. She’d intended the date to be her way of telling him she had no time to see him, but he convinced her he was just as devoted to his work as she was and that he didn’t expect her to give anything up for him. His assurances had worked and she kept seeing him. He was charming in his way, somewhat witty, a little dull sometimes, but when she didn’t have time to see him for days on end, he didn’t complain.
So, here she was, thirty-nine years old, engaged to someone who didn’t make her head spin or her stomach clench with anticipation, but she was comfortable with him. Mary could see having a comfortable, safe, stable life with him and maybe that was enough. This whole ‘light my world on fire’ love she had been waiting her whole life for had passed her by. She’d let it pass her by and tried to move on. It was an impossible love. One that could never be. If only she could convince her damn heart to stop aching every time she thought of them.
Another fierce gust of cold wind pushed against her and she wrapped her arms about herself as she watched the blinking lights of a plane flying overhead. It reminded her of the day she’d said goodbye to them, not knowing the next time she’d see them would be at their wedding.
No, she didn’t want to think about that person… but of course she did. Every damn day of her life. The first time they had met had been this cold. No, colder. There had been snow. God how obnoxious they had been on that first meeting. So demanding, so pushy and abrasive. Yet so damn appealing. How quickly they had become friends, best friends. They were so different and yet Mary felt seen with them. From that very first day. Of course it hadn’t been love at first sight. Hardly. No, Mary wouldn’t come to understand her complicated feelings for them for years. But when she finally did…
Her hands gripped the balcony railing as she remembered that day she’d started to put the pieces together. Six years ago now. Oh, what did it matter? Why was she even thinking about this now? Mary shook her head and turned around to go back inside. Warmth enveloped her as she entered her apartment and moved to the kitchen to grab her abandoned drink from the kitchen bench. Of course she knew why she was thinking about this now. She ran her hand through her hair as she sipped her scotch. Richard had called to tell her he’d been offered an amazing job in New York. He asked her to go with him. She’d accepted. She was moving to New York in two weeks. The same place the person she still loved above all others lived. The person who did make her stomach clench with anticipation. The person she had been slowly drifting apart from for years.
Rhoda.
Mary hadn’t meant for them to drift apart. The distance, work, life, all the things that went unsaid, it all sat between them now. When Rhoda first moved to New York they had called each other often. Two or three times a week if not more. They wrote each other weekly as well. Then Rhoda had married and the calls became less, a few a month, the letters as well. As time moved on, both lessened to once a month. Mary had missed Rhoda so damn much it hurt. She decided then to visit her on the spur of the moment and flew to New York. She had lied and said she was in town for business and just happened to finish up early enough to have time to spend the weekend with Rhoda. She’d lied because she didn’t want Rhoda to know how much she missed her. That she needed to see her. That it physically made her heart ache to be away from her.
Rhoda had been so happy to see her. She’d chosen to spend the weekend with Mary instead of going away for a romantic escape with her husband that had already been planned. Mary had been almost giddy about it, though she’d tried to act otherwise. Always covering her true feelings. They’d had an amazing weekend together and Mary hadn’t wanted to leave. The goodbye had been agonising. Somehow, she’d saved her tears until she was on the plane. For a couple of months after that there had been an upswing in their phone calls, but once again, they soon dwindled. They had spoken a bit more when Rhoda was going through her divorce with Joe, but that didn’t last long. Mary had offered to come to New York for a while to be there for Rhoda, but her friend had said she had her family and Mary didn’t need to come. She’d almost went anyway, but in the end didn’t have the guts to do it. The sting of rejection had won out. It felt like Rhoda didn’t need Mary in her life anymore; she was doing well without her.
Then Mary was fired from WJM and Rhoda came to visit. God, Mary had been so happy to see Rhoda standing there when she opened her eyes. Peripherally she’d been aware Phyllis was there too, but it was only Rhoda her eyes clung onto. Rhoda whose arms she fell into. Once again they had an amazing weekend together. Rhoda had offered for Mary to come stay with her in New York and oh, that was so tempting. She’d even started to make tentative arrangements to do so when she got the job offer. It had probably been for the best she hadn’t gone to New York to stay with her friend. While Rhoda had stayed with her, she’d almost told Rhoda how she felt about her. She’d come so close to crossing that line.
They had been sitting around, doing nothing special, when Rhoda looked up at her and smiled. God, that damn smile. The way it lit up her face and made the green in her eyes brighter took Mary’s breath away. She’d stared at Rhoda so long with an infatuated half grin on her lips that eventually Rhoda asked if she was okay. Rhoda’s voice had been quiet, her head tilted, a softness to her eyes that was so inviting. Mary, so caught up in the feelings the moment had brought up for her, had started to open her mouth to tell Rhoda how beautiful she was when the apartment door opened. Phyllis had breezed in rambling on loudly about something. Mary wasn’t sure what it was to this day, but it had effectively stopped her from saying anything else. The moment was lost, the next day Rhoda had left, and Mary had gotten the phone call for the job the day after that.
Mary wondered if Rhoda had seen the truth of how she felt for her in that moment before Phyllis had come barging in. The next day at the airport Mary was sure she had. As she was saying goodbye to Rhoda, they shared a quick hug. Mary had turned to walk away, not wanting to reveal how she really felt, but knowing she was terrible at hiding her feelings from Rhoda. She hadn’t taken more than two steps before Rhoda had grabbed her hand, causing Mary to turn back around and look at her. Rhoda moved into her space, putting her hand against Mary’s cheek, almost caressing as she looked into her eyes. Mary’s stomach clenched with anticipation. It felt like Rhoda was searching for something, a confirmation of something, and Mary couldn’t look away. At least not until it all started to feel too intimate for the setting they were in and she was afraid of what she might do. It was then she averted her eyes.
After a moment Rhoda leaned in and kissed her cheek. Not for so long as to draw attention, but long enough that Mary could feel those full warm lips fully against her cheek. Long enough that she closed her eyes at how that kiss made her feel. Then Rhoda stepped back and looked at her one last time and Mary saw it. A longing in those beautiful hazel eyes, and that sad half smile that combined said so much. Then Rhoda turned, walking away to board her plane.
Mary let her go.
Again.
Except this time it felt worse. This time she let Rhoda go knowing that if she had said something, done anything other than just stand there, maybe things could have been different.
Since that visit two years ago, they had exchanged six phone calls and four letters. That last visit had seen a paradigm shift in their relationship. They both knew the other knew, but they said nothing about it, yet didn’t seem to know how to move past it. She still missed Rhoda, still felt her absence every day, and her feelings for the woman had not lessened in the slightest. Now Mary was moving to New York. She could tell Rhoda, try to resume the most important relationship in her life, or continue to let her go.
Mary’s fingers itched to pick up the phone and call Rhoda. But she didn’t. Instead she put her empty glass in the sink, prepared for bed, and slipped beneath the covers. Mary hated herself for not having the courage to talk to Rhoda about this. Not about her moving, but about what she felt for her. But what good would it do? Her feelings were impossible. Even if Rhoda did return them, they were two women. Mary knew gay people and had no problems with it. But for her to be with a woman?
One night about a year ago when she was out to the movies by herself, she had seen two young women kissing in their car as she was making her way to her own. She had stood frozen for a moment, staring at them, surprised to see such a thing in public. Okay, they were in their car and it was late at night, but to Mary that was still public. They had been so involved in each other they hadn’t noticed her as she stared at them. After what felt like far too long, she collected herself and got into her car. Her heart was beating faster as she fumbled her keys from her purse and put them in the ignition. Then she had just sat there. All she was thinking about was what it would be like to kiss Rhoda like that. To be so brave as to be with the person you love and damn what anyone else thought.
Mary shifted roughly in bed and smacked at her pillow to fluff it a few times before she laid her head back on it with a huff as she stared at the ceiling. It was the 70’s, soon to be 1980 in a couple of months. Mary had heard about and her station had even done a story on the first national march for gay and lesbian rights that took place in Washington D.C. only a little over a week ago. But Mary wasn’t a product of the 1970’s; she had grown up in the 40’s and 50’s, had been in her twenties in the 60’s and, and… and she wanted to smother herself with her pillow right now. The truth was she was scared and her fear held her back from what – from who – she really wanted. So she continued to conform and it felt like she was losing something of herself in the process.
I’m such a coward, she thought as she turned onto her side and tried to get comfortable. As she did more nights than she would like to think about, she recalled a favourite memory of those four years she had with Rhoda and played it in her mind like an old comforting tv show until she fell asleep.
***
The cold coffee made her grimace as she finally remembered to drink the last of it remaining in her cup. It was now lunch time and she was sure that cup of coffee had still been a remnant of her breakfast. Like most days she had lost track of time as she became absorbed in her work and forgot to eat or drink. It was only the buzzing of her phone that had interrupted her moments ago to remind her of her lunch date with Georgette.
While she had lost her makeshift family at WJM, Ted was still anchorman there. How, she honestly didn’t know, but he and Georgette were two people she kept in regular contact with since they had remained in Minneapolis. Mary had only been back to the WJM newsroom once since she’d been fired. Georgette had asked her to meet her there and Mary had hesitantly agreed. It had been strange being back there. Someone else in Mr Grant’s office, at Murray’s desk, at her desk. With her friends gone, the place hadn’t felt like home anymore. It felt like a strange place she’d once known, but was now out of time with. Though it hadn’t changed much, at least not physically. They were still last in ratings. So firing all of them had done nothing to help the station. She’d heard on the grapevine that the man who had fired all of them had since been fired himself.
Today Georgette was meeting her at her office and they were going to have lunch at the usual place. The same place she used to have lunch with Rhoda regularly, though she made sure to never sit at what she had considered ‘their’ table.
“Hi Mary!” Georgette said cheerily as she breezed in with a gentle smile.
“Hi Georgette.” Mary smiled as she stood up and collected her jacket from the rack in the corner of her office.
“No matter how many times I come here to see you, it’s still strange to see you sitting in such a big office all by yourself,” Georgette said as she looked around in wonderment at the space.
Mary laughed a little, amused as usual by Georgette pointing this out each time she visited.
“And look at that view!” Georgette’s eyes widened as she stood in front of the floor to ceiling glass window that lined one side of Mary’s office.
“It hasn’t changed since last time, Georgette,” Mary commented, smile still firmly in place as she collected her purse and stood next to her friend. “But can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course!” Georgette replied earnestly as she turned to look at Mary.
“I’m still not used to any of this either,” Mary whispered as she winked at Georgette and grabbed her arm to lead them out the door.
She really wasn’t. Two years now and part of her still couldn’t believe the position she was in. The position she was potentially going to be in when she got to New York. Once she’d agreed to move, she’d called her contacts there the next day to find out what opportunities were available. Her contact at ABC had said he knew of an opening for a producer for Good Morning America and he was happy to put forward her name for it. She couldn’t quell her initial reaction, which had been a short, sharp laugh. Good Morning America had premiered four years ago and had quickly become the most watched morning news show in America, and she was going to somehow land a producer gig there? But her contact had been serious, and she had an interview there the day after she would arrive in New York. To say she was nervous was an understatement.
Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined when she walked into Mr Grant’s office nine years ago – god, almost ten – that she would be where she was now. She missed the old days at WJM, but she knew that if she hadn’t been fired, she would still be there, doing the same thing. While part of her did yearn for that, she was also grateful and excited by the new opportunities that had come her way since then. When she thought about where her life had been all those years ago, to where it was now, the change was immense.
Though there was one thing she fervently wished hadn’t changed. One thing she would give up all her success and new opportunities for. If Rhoda had stayed.
Mary sighed as they sat down and ordered their lunch. She still hadn’t called Rhoda. Knew she probably wouldn’t. She pushed thoughts of the woman she loved aside to try and focus on what she was here for. To tell Georgette she was moving to New York. She’d become closer to Georgette since Rhoda had moved away, though it was nothing like the bond she’d shared with Rhoda. Great, I’m thinking about her again. Do all roads lead back to her?
When Mary thought about who else she had to say goodbye to before she left, the list was short. She had let friendships fall away as her career took off and she simply didn’t have the time anymore. Not to mention most of her female friends had married and their lives took a different direction to Mary’s. As Rhoda’s had when she married Joe.
“How’s the family?” Mary asked, determined to think of something else.
“Oh the kids are great! David will be starting high school next year! He’s jumping ahead two grades! And Mary Lou is talking up a storm now and just cute as a button!”
“That’s wonderful, Georgette.” Mary smiled as she sipped her coffee.
“You really should come over again sometime, Mary, it’s been too long.”
“Oh, Georgette, I know, I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy with work, but I do have some news.” Georgette looked at her expectantly. “Richard proposed!”
“Oh, Mary! That’s wonderful!” A look of confusion came to Georgette’s face then. “Isn’t it?”
“Uh, what do you mean?”
“Well, you said he proposed, but you didn’t say if you accepted.”
“Oh!” Mary laughed and nodded. “I did accept.”
“Congratulations!”
“Thanks, Georgette,” Mary said as she reached over and patted her hand before picking up her fork to start eating her salad. “Though I do have some other news as well.” Mary set her fork back on the table and took a deep breath. “We’re moving to New York.”
Mary watched Georgette’s face as she processed the news. There was a little sadness before her face broke out into a huge smile.
“Oh that’s wonderful! You’ll be near Rhoda again! Though of course I’ll miss you, but it’s not right you two not living in the same place as each other. Rhoda must have been so excited when you told her!”
“I, uh, I haven’t told Rhoda,” Mary said as she looked down at her lap. “I mean, this move isn’t about that. Richard was offered a job there and he asked me to go with him and I said I would. We are getting married after all.” Mary shrugged as she picked up her coffee to take a sip, to give her now fidgeting hands something to do. “I also have a job interview there for Good Morning America. Can you believe it! Good Morning America!”
Mary tried to change the subject while Georgette looked at her like she was dense. Never did Mary feel stupider than when Georgette looked at her like that.
“Mary, Rhoda is your best friend. I think she would like to know about you getting married and moving to New York.”
“We’ve drifted apart, Georgette, I don’t even know if we are best friends anymore.” Mary picked up her fork and pushed a piece of chicken around in her salad, her appetite suddenly gone.
“Of course you are! You and Rhoda belong together! You’re like Pittsburgh!”
Mary laughed sharply. “Where those two rivers meet. Rhoda told me about that. Oh, Georgette,” Mary said as her smile faded away. “That was years ago, a lot has changed.”
“But not your feelings for her.”
Mary looked up at her then.
“And not her feelings for you.”
She knew Georgette couldn’t possibly mean it the way Mary was thinking about it… could she? Mary had never told anyone. Had not even hinted at it. Had Rhoda said something to Georgette? No, surely not. It was only her own feelings for her long-lost friend that were making her hear the words in a way they were not intended.
“Mary, I don’t know a lot, but what I do know, I know well, and I know that you and Rhoda belong together. Friends may drift apart, but you’re more than friends, and you need each other.”
She couldn’t stop her mouth dropping open slightly as Georgette looked at her earnestly. It was sounding more and more like she knew something…
“I don’t mean to butt in, Mary. You know I think the world of you, but you haven’t been very happy since Rhoda left, and you don’t sound very happy about your engagement to Richard. You really deserve to be happy, Mary.” Georgette reached out and laid her hand over Mary’s that had fallen limply next to her coffee cup. “So I really do hope you tell Rhoda you are moving to New York, or at least find her when you get there.”
Mary’s mouth had dropped open further as she stared at Georgette in a mixture of surprise and wonderment. Her blonde friend smiled at her in that sweet way she had before she picked up her fork and started to eat her salad. As if she hadn’t just told Mary she knew she had feelings for Rhoda that went beyond mere friendship.
“Georgette,” Mary finally managed to get out, her voice quiet, “are you saying you what I think you’re saying?”
“Like I said, I know what I know. I know you’re not comfortable talking about this, but Mary, you aren’t comfortable without her either, so I guess it just comes down to which discomfort you can live the rest of your life with.”
Mary pressed her fingers against her forehead as she tried to understand the confusing conversation. Yet, the message was clear. Georgette was telling her that not only did she know, but she thought Mary needed to reevaluate her choices. Her sweet friend was often mistaken for being simple, and while there was much about Georgette that was simple, she was also one of the most astute and observant people Mary had ever met when it came to people she cared about. How she knew of Mary’s feelings for Rhoda was a mystery, except maybe in unguarded moments Mary didn’t hide it as well as she thought she did.
What really shocked Mary was that Georgette appeared to have no issues with it – in fact the opposite. She was telling Mary to go after Rhoda. If only everyone in her life would be so accepting and understanding. She knew they would not. Her parents would disown her, though she would be moving away from them now anyway. She wouldn’t even have to tell them. She wouldn’t have to tell anyone… but she also didn’t want her love for Rhoda to feel like a dirty little secret.
Mentally shaking herself from a fruitless line of thought, she smiled at her friend as she reached across the table and squeezed her hand briefly. “Thanks Georgette, you’ve given me a lot to think about.
It just wasn’t that simple. She couldn’t just re-enter Rhoda’s life and say ‘gosh, I just love you so much, I’ve been such an idiot.’ No, she’d made her choices, and it just seemed too hard to change them now. Not to mention how terrified she was. And let’s not forget her recent engagement. If only she could feel a quarter of what she felt for Rhoda, for Richard, maybe she could move on. But she didn’t. Still, the marriage would be safe, stable. She had her career to devote all of her passion to. It would be enough.
They finished their lunch with no further talk about Rhoda. Instead they spoke of the job Mary may end up with once she moved, and arranged to come over for dinner at Ted and Georgette’s one last time before she left. Then she went back to the office and buried herself in so much work she couldn’t think of anything else. When she finished for the day, she went over to Richard’s for dinner and spent another empty night in his bed.
Afterwards, as he turned over to sleep, and she lay on her back staring up at the ceiling, she had a harder time controlling her thoughts. She tried to clear her mind, but to no avail. Finally she gave in and while her fiancé started snoring lightly next to her, she recalled one of her favourite memories involving Rhoda. This time it was the one where they had vacationed together in Mexico. If she concentrated hard enough, she could still hear the crashing waves on the beach and the smell of Rhoda’s perfume in the warm, humid air as they walked the shore together. As she started to drift off, she thought Georgette was right: Rhoda, even the thought of her, could comfort her like nothing else.
***
Mary sat with Murray on the floor in her now packed up apartment. She was leaving in two days and she’d sold all of her furniture, except the bed, which would be picked up tomorrow. Her last night in Minneapolis, she and Richard were going to stay in a motel near the airport before flying out early. So tonight it was pizza and beer on the living room floor surrounded by boxes that would be picked up tomorrow afternoon and shipped to her new apartment in New York. Her new apartment with Richard. They’d agreed to move in together since they were engaged. Though they had not set a wedding date.
“This reminds me of when you first moved in, Mare,” Murray said as he finished his pizza and drank his beer.
“I was just thinking about that.” Mary sipped from her beer can. She usually wouldn’t touch the stuff, but tonight she didn’t care. “Gosh, so much has changed in the last four years.”
“It really has. I spoke to Lou the other day. He’s doing great in California.”
“Oh, that’s great Mur, it’s been too long since I spoke with him.”
“He asked about you.”
Mary smiled as she leaned back on one hand. “He can call me too.”
“Oh, you know him. He didn’t even call me, I called him.” Murray shrugged. “I hope you don’t mind, but I told him you were moving to New York, that you might end up with a big time job on Good Morning America.”
Murray beamed at her then like he was a proud parent, though if anything she thought of him like a brother.
“I don’t mind,” she replied with a small smile.
“He was real happy for you, Mary. Real proud. So am I. Though I’m really going to miss you.”
“Oh, Mur, I know, I’m going to miss you too. It feels so strange to be leaving Minneapolis. I’ve never even lived outside of Minnesota! Now here I am moving to the Big Apple and honestly my entire life lately seems almost surreal.”
Mary sat up, just barely resisting the urge to stand up and pace.
“What do you mean, Mare?” Murray asked with concern as he sat forward.
“Moving to New York, getting engaged to Richard, possibly getting a job with Good Morning America… when did I become this person?” Mary shook her head.
“Aren’t you happy, Mary?”
Mary sighed, her shoulders slumping forward. “I should be, shouldn’t I? What more could I possibly want?”
“Hey, you know what?” Murray said, an excited gleam coming to his eyes. “Soon you’ll be in New York and I bet if anyone can help you figure all this out, it’ll be Rhoda! I’m so glad you’ll have her there again.”
Mary dropped her head into her hands.
“What is it?” Murray asked, concerned again.
“I haven’t told her I’m moving,” Mary mumbled quietly.
“What?”
“I said, I haven’t told her I’m moving!” Mary repeated, much louder this time as she snapped her head up and looked at him with irritation.
“Oh,” Murray replied, a look of utter confusion on his face.
Mary was instantly contrite. Murray didn’t deserve her irritation. She was only irritated with herself. “I’m sorry, Murray. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Mary stood up and collected the half full pizza box and two empty beer cans. It gave her something to do.
“Is there, um, a reason you haven’t told her?”
“I don’t know, I just haven’t. We’re not as close as we used to be.” Mary felt like stomping the empty beer cans under her heel.
“Well, I guess distance can do that,” Murray conceded as he stood up. “But I’ve never seen two people closer than you guys. I’m sure once you’re back there you’ll just pick up right where you left off.”
Mary shrugged. They could not pick up where they’d left off. That moment had passed them by years ago and Mary had let it. Though of course that was not what Murray had meant.
“I’m sure you’re right,” Mary agreed, turning around to give him as convincing a smile as she could. “I’ll just call her when I get there.”
Though she had no intention of doing so.
For the next hour they talked about old times as well what the future held. Murray said that he still wanted an invite for Mary’s wedding; even if it was in New York, there was no way he was going to miss it. Mary assured him he would get one. They both got a little teary when they said their goodbyes, not knowing when they would see each other again.
After he left, Mary checked the apartment over one last time to make sure everything except last minute essentials had been packed. Unlike when she had left her North Weatherly apartment, she felt no sadness at leaving this one. It had never really felt like home. Though she did feel nostalgic about leaving Minnesota. Her entire life had been here, and now she was moving to the biggest city in America. Once she would have been terrified to have made such a move, but not anymore. She had grown a lot since she’d left Roseburg, but apparently not enough to go after what she really wanted.
Moving to her bedroom, she opened her suitcase and pulled out a well-worn red and black flannel shirt. She removed her clothes and slipped it on, immediately comforted by the warmth and softness of it. By the memory of who it had once belonged to. Rhoda had forgotten it at her apartment when she had come to stay for that weekend. At first Mary had set it aside, intending to tell Rhoda about it, but she never did, and Rhoda never asked. Then one day when Mary was really missing Rhoda, she had slipped it on. Back then it had still smelled like her best friend, but eventually the smell faded and Mary had to wash it. Still, it had belonged to Rhoda and it comforted Mary to wear it. It made her feel like in some way Rhoda was still close to her.
Snuggling under the covers, Rhoda’s old shirt wrapped around her, she remembered that time they had taken a ski trip together. How adorable Rhoda had looked all bundled up in her winter gear as they hit the slopes. How absolutely beautiful she had looked later that night by the fire as she drank her hot cocoa. Maybe she would call her once she was in New York. Maybe they could be close again. Didn’t she owe it to herself to find out?