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Lan Wangji has a problem.

That problem comes in the shape of his loud, energetic, and devastatingly beautiful new, just-out-of-college intern.

An intern who seems to have dedicated his entire life to teasing Lan Wangji specifically.

That intern’s name is Wei Wuxian (or, as he continues to insist, Wei Ying).

The worst part is that Lan Wangji can’t even tell if Wei Wuxian is targeting him specifically, or if this is just the way he is with everyone. He playfully teases all the women in the office—with a surprising amount of respect, oddly enough—and jokes around with all of the men, especially another couple of interns, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng, but Lan Wangji can’t help but feel like Wei Wuxian’s torment towards him is… different, somehow.

Or, as much as Lan Wangji is loathe to admit it, this is simply wishful thinking, because he wants Wei Wuxian to treat him differently. Because, to Lan Wangji’s dismay, he wants Wei Wuxian. Annoying, stubborn, meddlesome, exuberant, brilliant Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji is fucked.

Which brings him to his next problem, which is that he is most definitely not being fucked as of now, and with his newfound work crush, his libido is wildly out of control. Lan Wangji is a healthy man with perhaps an already slightly overactive libido, but after Wei Wuxian started working at his company his horny brain has been in overdrive.

Wei Wuxian, bent over his desk to talk to Jiang Cheng, his ass just out there in slacks that are far too tight to be work appropriate—

Wei Wuxian, in the break room, sucking on a company-provided popsicle, his lips slick and red—

Wei Wuxian, perched on Lan Wangji’s desk, waiting for him to get back from a meeting to hand him some files he’d been working on, sitting so close to where Lan Wangji would want him—

Wei Wuxian, smirking and winking at him from across the room during a boring meeting, as if they had some sort of inside joke, biting his lip—

So. Clearly, Lan Wangji has a problem.

Luckily, Lan Wangji also has many years of experience handling his occasionally distracting sex drive, so he has some idea of a solution that does not involve pinning Wei Wuxian to the nearest surface and fucking him until he cries.

This is how he finds himself outside his local queer sex shop, not for the first time, and not for the last.

The shop, entitled “The Burial Mounds” for some reason that Lan Wangji does not understand, is actually locally owned by a pair of siblings, Wen Qing and Wen Ning. There have been a few other employees that have been in and out over the few years that Lan Wangji has been a customer, but it’s usually just those two. That means that Lan Wangji has become rather acquainted with the Wens, both in matters of what the shop sells, but also in more personal matters. He knows that the Wens are a branch of a big family, but have nothing to do with the main family which is known for some truly awful crimes. He knows that the Wens have struggled significantly, having only been truly stable financially over this past year. He also knows that this is in part due to a very close family friend who has helped them in various ways, a friend who may be working at the shop soon now that he’s finished with his studies. However odd it may be, he considers the Wens to almost be… friends.

His car seems to be the only one parked up in the front lot, which is pretty par for the course for 6:30pm on a Wednesday. A little late for the rush of nine-to-fivers coming in after work, a little early for the post-dinner, pre-hotel rush. This is ideal for Lan Wangji, not because he is ashamed of his interests and does not want others to know, but simply because having the store to himself lets him wander and chat with the Wens about new products without other customers around to be in the way, or, worse, be in the way and be rude and/or gross to the Wens. Lan Wangji has been told numerous times that no, he is not allowed to punch rude customers, as satisfying as it would be, because they do not want him to get hurt nor do they want the reputation of the shop ruined. Lan Wangji reluctantly respects this.

As expected, Lan Wangji doesn’t see any other customers when he enters.

“Hi, welcome to The–” Wen Qing starts, before realizing who it was. “Ah, hey Lan Wangji, how’s it going?” she asks, her voice immediately dropping from her customer service range to her normal pitch and fake smile vanishing. She’s told him before how much she hates raising her pitch just for customers to think she’s polite, but she admits it results in more sales and is less likely to aggravate shitty men, so she does what she must.

“Good evening, Wen Qing. I am well. And yourself?”

“Same old, same old. No weird customers so far, so that’s been nice. Wen Ning has spent the day training the new hire, so I’m glad it’s been pretty quiet.” Lan Wangji nods in acknowledgment while he peers around the lingerie, seeing if there’s anything new that’s come in that catches his eye. On the display wall, there’s a lacey white teddy paired with a pale blue harness. Hm. Lan Wangji may be coming home with more things than he intended to.

Anyway, back on track.

“So, what brings you in today? We got in a couple of new plugs, if you’d like to see them.”

Hmm. Tempting. But not what he’s here for.

“I am looking for a chastity cage,” Lan Wangji says.

“Ah!” Wen Qing claps her hands together excitedly with a mischievous grin. Lan Wangji knows how Wen Qing feels about chastity cages. “Something new, huh? Find yourself someone who wants to lock you up?”

Lan Wangji shakes his head. “No, I intend to use it for solo play,” he responds.

“Well, let me show you what we have,” Wen Qing says, leading him over to the rather small selection of cages. “We don’t have a whole lot of options, since they’re unfortunately not really in demand, but I can always put in an order with one of our local vendors if there’s nothing you like.”

“Mn.”

With that, Wen Qing leaves him to browse. He’s always appreciated that about Wen Qing. She’s willing to help, but will also leave you alone because she doesn’t really want any more socializing than necessary, either.

So. The plan.

Lan Wangji needs something to calm him down at work because he absolutely cannot continue his routine of needing to jerk off sometime around lunch and then once again when he returns home, plagued with images of Wei Wuxian’s ass, or his lips, or his thighs, or his hands, or, well, pretty much everything about him. It’s distracting and certainly not work-appropriate to be so taken with someone he is seven years senior and supposed to be the boss of. So, chastity cage.

Lan Wangji takes a look at the handful available. There are a couple of silicone ones, a couple of hard acrylic ones, and a couple of metal ones. From the research he had done online, Lan Wangji was certainly leaning towards one of the metal ones for ease of cleansing and preference of aesthetic. The only issue seems to be that these all look… a little small.

While always wanting to be humble, Lan Wangji certainly had to admit that he was generally quite a bit larger than many men, both in terms of his body and, well, in terms of his cock. He had worried that this may pose a problem when trying to find a cage that would be a good, secure fit for him since he had read that a cage being too small could be damaging, but one too large would defeat the purpose of the cage in the first place. Luckily, he also knew that Wen Qing would be able to custom order if nothing the shop had was going to fit.

He selects the one he most liked the style of and heads up to the counter where Wen Qing is restocking supplement pills.

“Wen Qing.”

She whips around, eyes landing on the cage he’s put on the counter, and gives him a smug little smirk.

“Find one you like?”

“Yes, but I will need to order a custom one. This one is too small,” he says, his voice steady and impassive, as if he were talking about the weather. Perhaps a couple of years ago, he would be a little embarrassed to make such a request, but Wen Qing has seen everything he’s purchased over the years. If he was going to be embarrassed every time he got a new pair of handcuffs or the latest monster cock, he was never going to get anything done.

“Of course, let me just get that pulled up for you here,” Wen Qing responds, immediately pulling up the order page on the computer. “Ah, actually, would it be okay if I had the newbie put in your order? I want him to learn how to do this with a customer who’s not a complete and utter dickwad, so you’re a great choice.”

“Mn.”

This would not be the first time this has happened, for the same reasoning. Wen Qing often had new employees interact with him because he’s direct, patient, and knowledgable, whereas their average customer is… not.

“Hey, A-Ning, bring the baby out!” Wen Qing shouts towards the back brusquely, sounding angry if you didn’t know her well enough.

“Okay!” comes Wen Ning’s timid response.

And then the newbie whines, “Hey, Qing-jie, I’m not a baby! We’re practically the same age, stop calling me that!”

Fuck. Lan Wangji knows that whiny voice. This is not good.

Wen Qing rolls her eyes and beckons the others over.

Wei Wuxian comes careening around the counter and then comes to an abrupt halt, seeing Lan Wangji for the first time. Immediately, his jaw drops and his eyes widen.

Lan Wangji has never been more grateful for his naturally impassive face than in this moment, because if his face were to show the emotions he’s feeling, he would be utterly screwed. He’s also grateful that he wore his hair down today so his bright red ears won’t show.

Wei Wuxian, the sole object of his desire, the entire reason he’s here getting this damned cage in the first place, is now standing in front of him, about to place an order for said cage.

Fuck.

Wei Wuxian, seemingly having snapped out of his daze, is now watching as Wen Qing shows him the process of placing an order. Lan Wangji attempts to keep his gaze fixed anywhere but Wei Wuxian, on the counter, on the wall, on the other merchandise in the store, anywhere, but he can still see Wei Wuxian’s flushed face and the way he keeps glancing at him when Wen Qing isn’t paying attention.

After a few minutes, Wen Qing claps her hands together, pulling Lan Wangji back to reality, and says, “Alright, Wei Wuxian, I think you’re ready.”

Wei Wuxian smiles nervously and wrings his hands together. Lan Wangji hates that he can tell that’s his nervous smile. Lan Wangji hates that he has a running catalog of Wei Wuxian’s smiles, from which he can easily pull and categorize each smile he sees.

Wen Qing claps Wei Wuxian on the back. “You’re in good hands, so even you shouldn’t be able to fuck this up.” Wei Wuxian laughs and rolls his eyes. “This is Lan Wangji,” she says, gesturing towards him, “and he’s a regular, so he knows the process.”

Wei Wuxian seems to have choked on something, because as soon as Wen Qing mentioned that Lan Wangji was a regular, his breath caught and he started coughing roughly. In the middle of his fit, Wen Qing deems him worthy of finishing the interaction himself and starts her way to the back.

“Yell at me if you need anything,” she calls out before shutting the door.

A moment later, Wei Wuxian recovers and gives him a watery smile. Lan Wangji staunchly refuses to think about any other situation where he might be able to make Wei Wuxian smile at him with tears filling his eyes.

“Um. Hi,” he says with a nervous little giggle. Lan Wangji nods at him. “So, uh, you needed a custom… um…” Wei Wuxian flicks his eyes to the cage on the counter, and does not finish the sentence.

“Yes,” Lan Wangji says. It appears that they have both chosen the route of leaving their current situation unacknowledged.

“So…” Wei Wuxian starts again, typing a couple of things into the computer, his tongue poked through his teeth the way it does when he’s concentrating on something. Lan Wangji tightens his hand into a fist and wills the beginnings of an erection away.

“You said you needed it… bigger?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Scratch what Lan Wangji thought earlier about this not being embarrassing. This is mortifying. He’s about to detail the specifications of the size of his soft dick to his office crush. His very inappropriate office crush. That he will have to continue seeing at work.

“Mn.”

“Um…” Wei Wuxian giggles nervously again and runs a hand through his hair. “Which… which way? Like… longer, or– or wider?”

Lan Wangji stares resolutely at the counter. Watching the pretty flush spreading across Wei Wuxians cheeks again was not helping the growing situation in his pants.

“Both,” he responds.

Lan Wangji is decently sure he hears Wei Wuxian mutter, “Oh, fuck me,” under his breath, and can’t help but agree with the sentiment.

A few excruciating minutes later, Wei Wuxian has entered all of Lan Wangji’s specifications into the order form and has sent off the request. Lan Wangji thanks him and promptly leaves the store without so much as a goodbye to the Wens in order to rush home as soon as possible, where he doesn’t even make it to his bedroom before yanking down his pants and masturbating furiously (and shamefully) to thoughts of pinkened cheeks and plush, red lips.

—

“Fuck!” Wei Wuxian groans, smacking his forehead on the counter as soon as Lan Wangji leaves the store.

“What’s wrong, you big baby? Did you fuck it up?” Wen Qing calls from the office, as loving as always.

“That’s him!” Wei Wuxian shouts back.

“What the fuck do you mean that’s–” Wei Wuxian faintly hears Wen Qing grouse before she swings open the office door to see Wei Wuxian slumped over the counter. At least there aren’t any other customers in the store.

“That’s who, Wei Wuxian? Because to me, he is a lovely regular who spends a lot of money here, and if you just fucked that up for me I’ll be pretty annoyed.”

At the revelation that Lan Wangji is not only a regular at his new place of work, but a regular who apparently spends a lot of money, Wei Wuxian squeaks and buries his face in his hands. Wen Qing, like the doting older sister she is, comes over and flicks Wei Wuxian on the head.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, Qing-jie, it’s just–” he wails, nervously peeking through his fingers. “That’s him,” he says again, with feeling, hoping Wen Qing will catch his drift without him having to spell out the entire embarrassing situation for her.

Wen Qing stares at him with her arms crossed, tapping her fingers on her bicep.

“Aiya, Qing-jie, you’re really gonna make me say it?” She stares at him harder, somehow.

“Fine! That’s– that’s him, yknow, from work?” he whines. “The… really pretty but hardass boss?”

Wen Qing stares a moment longer at him, and then suddenly doubles over with laughter.

“You– that’s– oh my god,” she cackles, leaving Wei Wuxian to squirm while she soaks in the awful revelation that the boss he’s been waxing poetic about the last few weeks as he’s started his internship is, in fact, one and the same with one of Wen Qing’s best regulars, who, most importantly, has just custom ordered an extra large cock cage.

“Qing-jie… please, this is awful!”

“Yes, yes, Wei Wuxian, it is awful,” she chokes out as she catches her breath, still laughing a little bit. “And,” she says, jabbing a finger towards him, “if you drive away my best customer with your weird office crush, I won’t hesitate to fire you.”

Wei Wuxian squeaks and hides his face in his hands. He knows she’s not kidding about that. Probably.

Now Wei Wuxian has to go the rest of the day, and also the rest of eternity, knowing that Lan Wangji, beautiful, stoic, bitchy Lan Wangji has just purchased a cock cage. This is not going to go well. He thunks his head back to the counter and contemplates his life choices until the door dings with the arrival of another customer.

—

Luckily, Wei Wuxian is not there when he goes to pick up his custom cage two weeks later. Lan Wangji is able to go in, chat a little bit with Wen Qing, grab a new bottle of his favorite lube, pay for his cage, and go home after about 15 minutes with no unfortunate run-ins with his intern.

The past two weeks have been… rough.

Something about seeing Wei Wuxian in the sex shop has done irreparable damage to his brain, apparently, because his already increased libido reached a new high after it was fully connected in his mind that Wei Wuxian is, at the very least, knowledgeable about sex, and/or is having sex. This confirmation has not been good for Lan Wangji’s health (his dick disagrees, as everything has been going very well for it).

He’s managed to keep a hold of himself at work, but has been glad to have access to a more private, single-stall bathroom a couple of times when he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to make it home before losing control. Wei Wuxian has remained completely professional and, much to Lan Wangji’s relief, they seem to be mutually pretending the interaction never happened. Less to Lan Wangji’s relief, Wei Wuxian is just as stunningly beautiful, frustratingly teasing, and annoyingly smart as ever.

Lan Wangji is really fucking relieved to have this cage.

Once he gets home, he heads to his bedroom to try it to make sure it fits snugly. He takes care to clean it thoroughly and chooses the appropriately sized ring to fit around his cock and balls without being too tight or too loose, comparing the size to other cock rings he already has. He’s not intending to have this for 24/7 wear, nor is he wearing it for anyone besides himself, so he’s not too worried about it being a tad loose because there’s no reason he isn’t allowed to take it off if needed.

As he lays naked on his bed, preparing the metal cage to try on, Lan Wangji very quickly realizes that in order to properly put it on, he’s going to have to rub one off first.

Just… the thought that he’s going to be locked up, at work, because he can’t control his libido is, oddly enough, an extremely arousing idea. While Wei Wuxian knew he bought the cage, there’s no way he would know that he’s the reason for it, that Lan Wangji will be wearing it at work so he doesn’t continue to get ill-timed erections. He doesn’t know that every time he bends over, all Lan Wangji can think of is taking him over whatever surface he’s on, right there. That every time he licks spilled coffee from his fingers, all Lan Wangji can think about is sucking those fingers into his mouth. That when he drops to the floor on his knees to pick up a fallen stack of papers, it takes everything Lan Wangji has to not walk right up to him, yank his head up by his enticing ponytail, and shove his cock down Wei Wuxian’s throat.

Lan Wangji is extremely hard.

The first touch to his cock makes him hiss, already throbbing and wet as his imagination runs wild. He’s sensitive, so sensitive, because of how frequently he’s been getting off just to keep himself sane. He’s thankful that he thought to open his new bottle of lube before he got settled because he isn’t sure that he would have had the patience to peel off the safety seal without breaking the bottle right now.

Lan Wangji wraps his slicked up hand around his cock and, shamefully, closes his eyes and imagines it’s Wei Wuxian’s. What would his hand feel like? Would it be soft and smooth or rough and calloused? Lan Wangji hasn’t actually gotten a good look at Wei Wuxian’s hands before. He makes a mental note to rectify this.

Already, he’s bucking his hips, making choked off little moans as he thrusts up into his fist. God, he’s so wet, wet enough that he hardly needs the lube, his precum easing the slide. Teasing his slit with his thumb nearly elicits a whimper from him, picturing Wei Wuxian’s tongue doing the same thing.

Lan Wangji desperately wants to know how Wei Wuxian is in bed. Is he talkative? Is he loud? He has to be, Lan Wangji cannot imagine a single situation in which Wei Wuxian would be capable of shutting up for more than a few minutes. He very badly wants to see how worked up Wei Wuxian would have to be in order to be reduced to a nonverbal, whining mess.

Moving his hand faster, he is captivated by the image of Wei Wuxian writhing on the bed, hands cuffed to the bedposts, his cock red and weeping, begging and crying for more, for Lan Wangji to do anything, to touch him, to let him come. Wei Wuxian unable to form any coherent thought besides “please”. Wei Wuxian finally being worked up enough from teasing alone, from Lan Wangji stimulating anything but his cock, that he brings himself to orgasm, tensing up and shooting white up his belly–

That’s what sends Lan Wangji over the edge, the thought of denying Wei Wuxian so long he can’t help it, can’t help but give in and come. Lan Wangji comes and comes, coating his stomach in his spend, his thighs shaking and his body twitching through the aftershocks. It’s the hardest he’s come in days, finally allowing himself to fully give in and picture Wei Wuxian the way he wants to instead of forcefully shoving those thoughts to the back of his mind and getting off with quick precision.

Hm. Perhaps Lan Wangji is more into denial than he thought he was before this very informative masturbation session.

After he’s calmed down and caught his breath, Lan Wangji lets out a resigned sigh and heaves himself off of his bed. He cleans himself off, successfully suppresses his horny thoughts long enough to put on the cage and ensure it fits well, and is very happy with how it feels. Secure, but not tight. Comfortable once he has it adjusted correctly, like it’s hardly there. He tries on a pair of pants and his bulge doesn’t seem to be more noticeable than usual, which he had worried about since it already proves… difficult to not walk around with a sizable bulge all the time.

And if after getting everything situated, Lan Wangji takes the time to masturbate again to the thought of Wei Wuxian knowing about him wearing the cage, that’s between him and his bright blue dildo.

—

The door jingles and a moment later, Wei Wuxian doesn’t hear any voices out on the sales floor.

“Is he gone, Qing-jie?”

“Yes, you pathetic baby, he’s gone.” “Oh my goooooood, I’m going to die,” he wails. He would never be dramatic. This really is going to kill him.

“You’re fine, you’re not gonna die,” Wen Qing responds in an exasperated tone.

But. But. The thing is is that he is not being overdramatic this time. Because. Because.

Lan Wangji, his uptight and starkly gorgeous boss, notable dilf of the office (and yes, one can be a dilf without children, it’s vibe and a mindset, thank you very much, Nie Huaisang), who he has an enormous crush on, visible from outer space, who has recently ordered an extra-large cock cage has just picked up said extra-large cock cage.

At least before, it was just something he had ordered, something vague, perhaps a fever dream that the universe was punishing Wei Wuxian with. But now.

Now Lan Wangji has the cock cage, and Wei Wuxian is never going to be able to think about anything else when he looks at him besides wondering holy shit is he wearing it now???

So yeah, Wei Wuxian is not being dramatic.

The only lucky thing is that Wei Wuxian hid in the backroom as soon as Lan Wangji came in so he wouldn’t have to be the one to actually give the custom cock cage to him. Hearing Lan Wangji specify the measurements of his soft dick in his usual deep tone last time was enough to shamefully fuel Wei Wuxian’s spank bank until… well, until today, where his spank bank will now consist purely of thoughts of where and when and why Lan Wangji is wearing a cock cage.

Fuck.

Wei Wuxian is so screwed.

—

Lan Wangji is rather pleased with himself.

So far, the cage has been a great success.

The first few days of wearing were rough, because the knowledge that he was wearing the cage and why he was wearing it was enough to put him even more on edge all day, leaving his entire body overly sensitive and rendering him completely unable to focus. He had to escape to the bathroom a couple of times to rub one out just so he could function the rest of the day, and when he got home, he barely got his shoes off before he was frantically unlocking the cage and getting a hand on his cock.

But, after about a week or so of consistent wearing at work, the novelty began to wear off and he got used to the feeling. Now, after about three weeks, he hardly notices it. It’s comfortable, prevents awkward erections, and helps keep his libido under control when he needs to focus. He’s back down to only masturbating once a day, twice at most if he needs a quick one in the morning to kickstart his day. He’s not so desperate for it that he can take his time, fuck himself open on one of his dildos or take his time edging himself for a nice, long orgasm that puts him right to sleep. There have even been a handful of times he’s been able to break out a couple of his larger, more… interestingly shaped dildos. All in all, Lan Wangji is doing well.

Although…

Something he has noticed is that Wei Wuxian has been acting a little… off. Lan Wangji can’t quite tell if he’s imagining it, though, because no one else seems to have any indication that Wei Wuxian has been acting weirdly. But Lan Wangji is pretty sure he’s been a little blushier lately, a little more prone to stumbling over his words or not meeting Lan Wangji’s gaze. Perhaps seeing Lan Wangji as a customer in his shop affected him more than he had originally thought, which is a shame. Lan Wangji was really hoping they could just move past that incident.

“Knock knock, hi Lan Zhan, I have those papers you wanted!”

Speak of the devil. Or, rather, think of the devil. Who is as pretty as an angel. Lan Wangji, while having been able to mitigate his libido during work hours, has had no success in lessening his crush.

“I have told you not to call me that,” Lan Wangji says with no real heat in his words as Wei Wuxian barrels into his office, not handing the papers directly to Lan Wangji as any normal intern would, but taking a moment to look around his office as if he hasn’t seen it every day for past few months.

“Ah, but Lan Zhan, we’re so close! You should call me Wei Ying, too, it would really give the office a better vibe, like we’re all friends! That does wonders for morale, you know,” Wei Wuxian says breezily, plonking down in the chair in front of Lan Wangji’s desk.

“We are not friends. You are my subordinate,” Lan Wangji replies easily. They have this conversation almost daily. Lan Wangji has to fight pretty hard to not let the corner of his mouth tick up, lest Wei Wuxian catch onto the fact that he really doesn’t mind his teasing.

Wei Wuxian gasps and drapes his body across the chair like he’s been shot, flinging his arm over his face. It doesn’t block Lan Wangji’s view entirely, though, so he’s still able to see the blush that spreads nicely across Wei Wuxian’s cheeks like it always does when Lan Wangji chooses the word “subordinate.” Embarrassingly and predictably, this is why Lan Wangji continues to use that word.

“Ah, you wound me, Lan Zhan, truly! How could you say we’re not friends when we’re clearly the closest ones in the office!” Wei Wuxian wails.

Lan Zhan waits a moment for the dramatics to cool down.

“Wei Wuxian. The papers?”

“Aiya, Lan Zhan, are you that eager to get rid of me? Demanding the papers from me so I’ll get out of your hair faster?”

Wei Wuxian sits back up in the chair like a (mostly) normal human being and tries to give Lan Wangji his best pout, but its strength is undercut by the smirk peeking through.

“We have work to do, Wei Wuxian. The papers, please,” Lan Wangji says. He looks back down at his computer and continues typing, giving Wei Wuxian the indication of dismissal, the way he always does when they have this interaction.

“...” Wei Wuxian says.

Lan Wangji ignores what Wei Wuxian says and keeps typing.

Wait.

This is when Wei Wuxian continues to whine. Why wasn’t there any whining for Lan Wangji to ignore?

Lan Wangji risks a glance back up to the suspiciously quiet Wei Wuxian.

Who is gaping at him, his mouth open but not forming any words, his cheeks bright red, with the papers held halfway between himself and Lan Wangji’s desk.

“Wei Wuxian?”

“I’m– you– sorry, your face– I–” Wei Wuxian stands abruptly and thrusts the papers at him. “Here’s your papers, Lan Zhan, bye,” he says, his words all strung together, and immediately turns on his heel and books it out of Lan Wangji’s office.

Lan Wangji sits stunned for a second, papers in hand. Once Wei Wuxian’s words settle, he takes quick inventory of his face and– oh. Oh no.

He’s smiling.

Just a little bit, just one side of his mouth upturned the slightest bit, the corners of his eyes barely crinkled, hardly perceptible to people who don’t know him well.

But Lan Wangji isn’t sure why his little smile made Wei Wuxian react like that. He deflates a bit from the giddiness he felt with Wei Wuxian present, worrying that perhaps knowing that Lan Wangji doesn’t actually mind his teasing ruins all the fun. Well. That’s disappointing. But, that’s for future Lan Wangji to wallow about, because he really does have to get these papers processed.

A few minutes later, current Lan Wangji still cannot wallow and still needs to get the papers processed, but, annoyingly, has to pee. This has been one of the less pleasant aspects of wearing a cock cage during the day. Usually, he has access to a more private, single-stall bathroom that he has to make use of rather frequently to take care of himself, but he’s not the only one who has access to it, so occasionally he has to use the bathroom that’s open to the whole office. This bathroom only has two stalls and three urinals with woefully small dividers in between them, so if the stalls are in use, Lan Wangji just has to hope that he finishes before the people in the stalls or before anyone else comes in in order to prevent the whole office from knowing that their boss wears a cock cage at work.

Luckily, this has only happened twice within the past three weeks, and both times went smoothly, leaving no employee eyes assaulted.

Tragically, it appears that today he must test his luck again and use the office bathroom because when he approaches the private one, the lock is flipped to “occupied”.

Even more tragically, when he crosses the office to the bathroom, he finds one stall occupied and the other labeled out of order, so once more, his only option is to use one of the urinals.

Well, he doesn’t hear anyone peeing in the stall, so hopefully he’ll have a bit of time to finish his business and then leave them to theirs. He approaches the urinals, choosing the one furthest from the door to give him more of a chance to cover up quickly if anyone enters. He’s halfway through getting his belt unbuckled when he hears it.

A quiet, but unmistakable rhythmic slick sound.

Accompanied by a quick inhalation.

And a little whimper.

Oh. Oh no.

It does not appear that the person in the stall has realized that someone has walked in on them taking care of themselves, so Lan Wangji does the only merciful thing he can think of and clears his throat a little more loudly than he usually would to alert them to his presence.

Thankfully, his method seems to have worked because he hears a startled gasp and a muttered, “Shit,” and the sounds stop, so Lan Wangji continues to unbuckle his belt. He’ll finish up, wash his hands, and make sure to close the door a little loudly to indicate to the person in the stall that he’s clear to continue. Lan Wangji understands their situation intimately, so reserves his judgment.

Partway through peeing, though, Lan Wangji hears the frantic pulling up of pants and buckling of a belt, and thinks, Oh no. He had not considered the possibility that the person would try to leave instead of waiting for Lan Wangji to leave first. And now he’s peeing and can’t really stop without making a mess of his pants in the meantime and then someone is barreling out of the stall and–

Oh.

Oh no.

It is Wei Wuxian who barrels out of the stall, his face flushed bright red. It is Wei Wuxian who stops in his tracks for just a second, frozen upon seeing Lan Wangji.

It is Wei Wuxian who makes wide-eyed eye contact with Lan Wangji, who flicks his eyes downward, who clearly sees Lan Wangji wearing a cock cage, whose face goes even redder and eyes go even wider, and who flees the bathroom, leaving Lan Wangji bewildered, embarrassed, and, honestly, a little turned on.

This is very bad.

—

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck–

Wei Wuxian all but runs across the office into the elevator, pressing the button rapidly until it opens and lets him in so he can get to another floor, any floor, and powerwalk to the nearest possible bathroom. His godawful memory actually kicks in for once and reminds him that the third-floor lobby has a family bathroom that rarely gets used, so he hits the 3 and bounces anxiously, desperately hoping that no one gets on the elevator. He would hope that his boner would go away, but he knows better than to wish for something that futile.

The elevator dings when it reaches the third floor, thank god, and Wei Wuxian strides to the bathroom as quickly as he can without drawing too much attention to himself. His lucky streak continues because the bathroom is vacant. As soon as he’s inside, he flicks the lock and turns around, pressing his back to the door and sliding down to sit with his knees pulled up and his head in his hands.

So. Wei Wuxian has made what is probably the worst mistake of his life.

Well. Series of mistakes, actually. A rather long series of mistakes.

Mistake #1: taking this goddamn internship, actually, because now he’s pining over the most perfect man ever who is like ten years older than him, probably the most beautiful being to ever grace the planet, and who is also a bit of an uptight asshole which just makes Wei Wuxian like him more.

Mistake #2: taking the goddamn job at the sex shop to make some extra money during his internship because now he knows that the most perfect man in the world is also a frequent shopper, has a huge cock, and owns a cock cage.

Mistake #3: spending so much time with the most perfect man in the world that he can now tell apart the little facial expressions he makes, even when everyone else thinks he’s unreadable.

Mistake #4: being the annoying little bastard he is and pestering the most perfect man in the world constantly.

Mistake #5: somehow winning over the most perfect man in the world with his incessant pestering and causing him to smile when Wei Wuxian was being annoying, which was literally the most beautiful thing Wei Wuxian has ever seen in his entire life and also turned him on immediately, so much so that he was sure that he wasn’t going to make it through the rest of his day without jerking off about it.

Mistake #6: jerking off in the fucking office bathroom where anyone could walk in (Wei Wuxian’s horny brain did not take this into account).

Mistake #7: not fucking hearing it when someone came into the bathroom that he was jerking off in.

Mistake #8: not fucking waiting in the stall like a normal person for the other person to finish taking a piss and leave before he left because the other person clearly knew what he was doing in there.

And, his final mistake, the cherry on top, the pièce de résistance, the nail in the coffin:

Mistake #9: rushing out of the stall that he was jerking off in, to the thought of the most perfect man in the world, to find, you guessed it, the most perfect man in the world taking a piss with his huge cock in its extra-large cock cage and, of course, making eye contact with the most perfect man in the world so he most definitely knows that Wei Wuxian knows.

Well. He might as well get this last jerking-off session finished up before he’s inevitably fired.

He grabs a wad of toilet paper before pulling his still-achingly-hard cock out of his pants, holding back a whimper at the stimulation. He wraps his hand around his shaft and can’t help but buck up into his hand, already unbelievably sensitive from being so close to coming earlier and the astoundingly arousing sight of Lan Wangji’s cock.

God, Lan Wangji is wearing the cock cage at work. Right now. Has he been doing this the whole time? Was that the point of the cage in the first place? Has Wei Wuxian been around Lan Wangji while he was locked up in a cage for the past three weeks?

Wei Wuxian has to bite back a whine, shoving the back of his hand in his mouth to muffle the noise he’s making. He’s never been good at being quiet.

His hand is flying over his cock, twisting his wrist on every upstroke in the way that drives him crazy, unable to stop his hips from twitching up on every downstroke. He’s leaking an obscene amount of precum which means the the slide of his hand is smooth and so good, but it also means the lewd schlick schlick schlick of his hand on his cock is loud and glaringly obvious to anyone that could hear.

Fucking hell, Lan Wangji had heard him jerking off. Lan Wangji had come into the bathroom and politely coughed to alert Wei Wuxian to his presence because he could clearly hear Wei Wuxian jerking it. And as much as Wei Wuxian should be ashamed, and as much as he is ashamed, he’s also insanely turned on by the fact that Lan Wangji had heard him—

Had walked into the bathroom that Wei Wuxian was hiding in, after having smiled at him with his beautiful, full lips that Wei Wuxian wanted to kiss so badly.

Had listened to his muffled moans and the sounds of him stroking his cock and did not leave. Had touched his own cock while Wei Wuxian was touching his, pulling himself out of his pants even though he knew someone else was in there with him, even though he knew that anyone could walk in and see him in that cage–

Wei Wuxian’s orgasm crashes over him, jerking and moaning too loudly as he spurts all over his hand, every nerve in his body alight, his cock twitching as he wrings the last drops of come out.

Okay. So. He may have more of a voyerism kink than he thought he did.

Thunking his head back against the door, he brings his hand down from his mouth and wipes the come off his cock. There are multiple sets of bright red teeth marks on his hand. He’s pretty sure he bit hard enough to bruise. And he was still way too loud. He also came on his shirt. And on his pants.

He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and just. Laughs. His soft dick is still hanging out in the open, he’s got come all over him, he’s seen his boss in a cock cage, and it’s only 1:30 pm. He has to go back to the office to finish his work.

It’s hysterical.

He laughs and laughs and if he had hoped that no one walked by the bathroom while he was jerking off, he certainly hopes no one walks by now when all they’ll hear is deranged cackling. He laughs so hard he cries, and then he maybe cries a little bit for real, because, fuck.

He’s so fired.

—

The cock cage is no longer working.

After the Incident in the bathroom, Lan Wangji had hoped that it would only throw him off for a handful of days, a week at most, before settling back into the comfort of being locked up every day and his arousal being forced to simmer in the back of his mind. He thought that perhaps the awkward interactions with Wei Wuxian in the days after the Incident would maybe lessen his crush. Wei Wuxian was clearly antsy about something, which made Lan Wangji worry that he had somehow crossed a line. He no longer barged into Lan Wangji’s office, knocking politely and addressing him appropriately. All of this should culminate in Lan Wangji’s libido lulling back into his still-higher-than-average normal, and he could go on with his life.

This has… not happened, to put it lightly.

Hearing Wei Wuxian masturbating, and then subsequently seeing Wei Wuxian after he had just been masturbating, and then, of course, watching Wei Wuxian register that Lan Wangji was wearing the cock cage at work has, in a word, broken him.

Immediately after the interaction, he sat in his office for barely ten minutes before slinking off to the private bathroom that was finally empty to furiously masturbate, his hands shaking and fumbling with the key to the cage before he was able to get it off of him and come in two minutes flat.

It was not Lan Wangji’s proudest moment.

Later that day, he hardly got through the door to his apartment before shoving his pants down his thighs, wrapping a hand around himself and shoving a spit-slick finger up his ass. He came five minutes later with a shout, coming all over the entryway in the process.

That was also not Lan Wangji’s proudest moment.

He has not had a whole lot of proud moments in the ten days since the Incident.

So, he has decided to change his approach.

He enters The Burial Mounds with a plan and a very large budget. If he cannot suppress his urges, he is going to give into them so hard his body doesn’t have the energy to be aroused during any inopportune times.

“Hi, welcome i– Oh, hey, Lan Wangji, it’s been a while! We have a whole new line of tentacles and the new creature cocks, if you want to see them. I think you’ll like them, they’re a nice size,” Wen Qing says, all rather quickly and more loudly than she normally does, an oddly… mischievous look in her eyes.

Lan Wangji does, in fact, want to look at the new tentacles and creature cocks, but usually Wen Qing just kind of lets him wander around for a little while before breaking out all the new stuff. Why had she–

Oh.

Across the shop, someone who had been crouching down to look at the bottom row of one of the displays shoots up, suddenly standing straight up with very tense posture.

Lan Wangji would recognize that ponytail anywhere.

Goddamnit.

Before coming here, Lan Wangji had hovered in front of the door to his apartment for several minutes, going back and forth on whether or not he even wanted to come here today because of this exact reason. He considered just ordering online to skip the possibility of running into Wei Wuxian, but… he couldn’t feel the things he ordered online, he wouldn’t be supporting a local business, and he would be missing out on some of the custom things that the shop ordered. He finally decided that it was worth going, especially because Wei Wuxian might not even be there. He wasn’t there when he picked up his cage, and he wasn’t there a week and a half ago when he stopped by to pick up another bottle of his favorite lube.

But now he’s a little bit regretting his life choices.

“Hey, Wei Wuxian!” Wen Qing calls out. “Why don’t you grab the new creature cocks and bring them up to the counter for Lan Wangji to see?”

Well, now he’s really regretting his life choices.

Wen Qing turns back to him with a smug smile and says, “I have some work to get done in the back, holler if you need anything.”

Lan Wangji hadn’t even had a chance to say hello.

He’s been standing frozen a handful of steps inside the store for at least two minutes once Wei Wuxian tentatively heads to the counter with an armful of boxes, carefully keeping his head angled away from Lan Wangji.

God, at least no one else is in here.

Lan Wangji approaches the counter and neither of them says a word while Wei Wuxian lays out the boxes in front of him. Even in the state he’s in, Lan Wangji has to take a moment to appreciate everything that’s been laid out. Wen Qing was right, these really are all up his alley. He has yet to look up at Wei Wuxian.

After an awkward moment of excruciating silence, Wei Wuxian clears his throat the slightest bit. Lan Wangji glances up to see his eyes closed, looking like he’s taking a breath and a second to center himself. His cheeks are a little pink and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, making the mole under his lip even more prominent than usual.

Lan Wangji is very glad that he decided to wear his cock cage today, just in case.

Abruptly, Wei Wuxian claps his hands together and pastes on a smile.

“Alrighty, Lan Wangji, which one of these bad boys do you wanna look at first?”

Ah, he is being customer serviced. Honestly, not a bad route to go.

The first one he looks at is a very large blue and purple monstercock. It’s got multiple prominent ridges and absolutely massive balls. Wei Wuxian calmly chats with him about it, commenting on its texture and firmness.

“Not too soft but not too hard, huh?”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji agrees, giving it an appreciative squeeze. “I will take it.”

Wei Wuxian startles a little. “Oh? Do you not want to look at the other ones, then…?”

“No, I would like to see those as well,” he replies. Wei Wuxian’s presence will not bar him from getting the supplies he needs to dick himself down well enough to not think about… Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian opens up the rest of the boxes one by one, handing the dildos to Lan Wangji so he can run his fingers over the texture and squeeze them for firmness. The time is actually rather pleasant, with Wei Wuxian running a near-constant commentary, flitting between talking about the merits or issues with each of the dildos and telling brief stories about various customers that have come in.

“This one,” he says, holding up a green and yellow tentacle with a tapered body and suction cups all along one side, “I just sold to a lovely lesbian couple with a harness and an extra-large O-ring, so I hope they’re having fun!”

“I will take it,” Lan Wangji says. Wei Wuxian grins.

In the end, Lan Wangji says yes to five out of the seven dildos they looked at. He’s chosen two more tentacle-style ones, the first one orange and black with numerous ridges and the second one is blue and silver with one tentacle wrapped around another, and a unicorn horn one with spiraling bumps that look like they’ll feel amazing.

“Well, will that be it for you today, Lan Wangji?” Wei Wuxian asks, having boxed up all the dildos and setting the ones he’s chosen in a stack near the register.

“Not quite, I intend to look around for a while longer.”

Wei Wuxian gawks at him for a moment before seemingly shaking himself out of it.

“Yeah, yeah, definitely, take your time!”

Lan Wangji takes his time perusing the shop, spotting some new merchandise here and there. He despairs at the strokers, as usual. With how creative manufacturers seem to be with making products for vulvas, vaginas, and assholes, they really miss the mark with toys meant for penises. He looks through vaguely-pussy-shaped stroker after stroker until he comes across one that has pretty cheesy marketing, but looks like it will feel nice and, most importantly, does not look ugly as hell. And he figures the cheesy marketing goes with the rest of what he’s buying, the box promising “otherworldy pleasure”.

He brings the stroker up to the counter where Wei Wuxian is stocking the various samples kept up by the register. Wei Wuxian looks up at him with a smile and Lan Wangji’s heart skips a beat, because it’s not a customer service smile but a real one, all his teeth showing and his eyes warm.

“Almost finished?” he asks, taking the box from him and putting it with the rest of his pile.

“Mn,” Lan Wangji responds with a nod.

He turns to the lube case and looks around the back side of it first, examining all of the different stimulants. Once again, not a whole lot of options for penises besides many different blow job lubes and a number of delay sprays, creams, and gels, which are exactly the opposite of what he’s looking for. He wants to come as much as possible, he doesn’t care if he blows his load early. He eventually settles on a bottle of stimulant promising heightened sensation and tingling without any warming or burning effect. Finally, he takes a look at the lubes. Tragically, the one he usually gets only comes in a 4-ounce bottle, which is often enough to get him through a few weeks. He’s not sure how long it’ll last this time.

A few minutes later, he approaches the counter with his selection, his usual choice of water-based anal lube, a new water-based anal lube that he hasn’t tried before that comes in a larger bottle, and a water-based one with aloe vera that promises extra moisturization. With the action he’s planning on giving his dick, he figures that will be a nice option. He doesn’t get any silicone-based lube this time because he is getting toys and he will be using them.

Wei Wuxian is oddly quiet as he rings everything up, his cheeks pinkening as he takes the assortment of lubes from Lan Wangji. His eyes grow bigger with each item scanned until he finally looks up at Lan Wangji bewilderedly.

“Your total will be… $726?” he squeaks.

Lan Wangji nods and pulls out his wallet. “I believe I have some points on my account from previous purchases.”

“Oh, yeah, let me–” Wei Wuxian frantically presses on the touch screen, pulling up Lan Wangji’s account. Once he navigates to the right page, his eyes bulge again.

“Okay, so you’ve got a $10 coupon, an $11 coupon, a $7 coupon, a $9 coupon, a $5 coupon, another $10 coupon, a $12 coupon, a–holy shit– $30 coupon, a $21 coupon, and an $8 coupon. Would you like to use…?”

“All of them, please,” Lan Wangji supplies.

“Okay, that brings your total down to… $603!”

Lan Wangji nods and inserts his card into the machine. Wei Wuxian demagnetizes each of the boxes and bags them all. A minute later, Lan Wangji is headed to his car with four large bags, many new toys to try, and a cock desperately straining against its cage.

The drive home is far too long and 45 minutes later, Lan Wangji is left cleaning come off the floor of his entryway once again.

—

Wei Wuxian finds himself once again with his forehead pressed to the counter at the sex shop. This time he’s going to implode for real, he thinks.

He’s startled out of his horny wallowing when a hand claps over his shoulder.

“Hey buddy, how’s it going?” Wen Qings asks him with fake sincerity and a smug little smirk.

He glares at her.

“I’m going to die,” he says, deadpan.

She huffs and rolls her eyes at him.

“God, you big dramatic baby, you’ll be fine. Why can’t you just ask him out?”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes go wide. “What, I– you– I can’t– he doesn’t–” he sputters, trying to get the proper words out to communicate that that would be the worst possible option to ever exist.

Wen Qing smacks him over his head.

“Ow! Aiya, that hurt!” he whines, rubbing his hand over the back of his head.

“He likes you too, yknow.”

“Oh god, no he doesn’t.” It’s Wei Wuxian’s turn to roll his eyes. “He hates me, Qing-jie, I annoy the everliving fuck out of him. He’s just putting up with me until my internship is over and he can transfer me to a different department.”

Pursing her lips, Wen Qing gives him her very best Wei-Wuxian-you-are-being-so-stupid look.

“Yeah, and that explains why he totally froze when I told you to bring over the dildos and he horny gripped so hard I was worried he was going to draw blood.”

“Qing-jie, how could you bring the dildos up again?!” he wails, thunking his head back down on the counter. “I had just forgotten about them!”

Wei Wuxian is… surprisingly normal at work after the Dildo Incident. Thus far he has not been fired, after either Incident, so he’s tentatively settling back into the groove of things. Lan Wangji also seems to be pretty normal, although he has caught him with pink ears a couple of times and sometimes he refuses to meet Wei Wuxian’s eyes. All in all, it’s a good outcome, considering.

Wei Wuxian is decidedly not normal at home.

In the past three days since Lan Wangji purchased not one, not two, but five monstercock dildos, Wei Wuxian has jerked off more than he normally would in a month (well, a normal month. These past few months since he’s been at his internship don’t count because all of that extra jerking off has also been Lan Wangji-induced).

It’s just that. What the fuck is he doing with all of those tentacles and monstercocks? Fuck, with that many, plus the fact that Wen Qing had heavily implied that this was not the first time Lan Wangji had purchased dildos such as those, Lan Wangji either just likes having a collection to slowly rotate through, has a really weird sense of decor, or…

Or he really needs to get fucked.

And god, has that third option fueled so much masturbation.

Why does Lan Wangji need to get fucked? Is he stressed from work? Does he have some sort of unrequited crush, as well? No, no, that’s ridiculous, if Lan Wangji had a crush on anyone they would be stupid to reject him, just the biggest idiot in the world and Wei Wuxian would like to have some serious words with them.

And then it’s also the confirmation that Lan Wangji likes having something, something big, up his ass. Wei Wuxian always kinda got the vibe that Lan Wangji was gay, and it’s not like wanting a huge seamonster cock up one’s ass makes a person gay, but…

And, of course, this line of thinking always leads to Wei Wuxian wondering if Lan Wangji likes a nice cock up his ass, too, and if he’s a size queen about it, if he’s dommy about it, if he’d push Wei Wuxian down to the bed and ride his cock and not let Wei Wuxian come until he’s finished, until he’s come all over Wei Wuxian’s chest and only then does he let Wei Wuxian come, and–

And that’s how Wei Wuxian’s fourth orgasm of the day happens, in his living room where he got caught up in his thoughts after getting home from the office.

Wei Wuxian is being very not normal about this. Fuck.

—

The first few days are always the hardest, Lan Wangji tells himself. That’s how it was with the cage, and that’s how it’ll be with the new plan, and once he gets settled into a rhythm, it will be fine.

The routine goes like this:

He wakes at his usual 5am and takes care of his morning wood. Then he gets up and goes on his morning run, a little longer, a little more punishing than usual to tire himself out a little more. Next is his morning shower, where he opens himself up a little bit, just enough to press two fingers inside of him and wring out another orgasm. Then his morning yoga, and then any other business he needs to attend to, and then perhaps another orgasm if his mind wanders too much towards Wei Wuxian and the way he had blushed and stuttered when Lan Wangji bought all those dildos, the way his eyes had unconciously widened when Lan Wangji weighed each of them in his hand, gave them a squeeze, and–

Needless to say, so far he has made use of this third session before heading to work.

Once he arrives at the office, he sits in his car for a long moment. He banishes all horny thoughts from his mind and focuses solely on what needs to get done. He gives himself a curt nod and heads in.

He is successful for the thirty minutes between his car-peptalk and Wei Wuxian arriving fifteen minutes late, as usual, whirling into the office with coffee in his hand and babbling apologies that no one really listens to anymore. Wei Wuxian gives Lan Wangji a smile and a little wave through the glass paneling of his office. Lan Wangji ceases being successful.

Lan Wangji attempts to make it home before having to jerk off again.

Lan Wangji is unsuccessful.

Once he does make it home, it’s a race to see how quickly he can open himself up on his fingers, on his smaller dildos. Soon enough, his patience runs out and he comes with a groan with fingers pressed against his prostate, rutting against the bed. Twenty minutes later he’s less frantic, more able to take the time he needs to stretch himself to take something bigger. It’s a blessing and a curse, using the new dildos he’s bought. A blessing because they feel wonderful, they fill him up and the textures drag in just the right way. A curse because they only make him think more about Wei Wuxian, how he knows that Lan Wangji has purchased these and is using them, wondering how he feels about this knowledge, wondering if he would like them too–

Lan Wangji comes twice more like that, and then once more before bed to relax himself enough to sleep.

That is his routine. An amount of orgasms that would mortify most people, that most people would be unable to imagine doing multiple days in a row.

It has been a week of this, now, and much to Lan Wangji’s dismay, it is not working.

He stops by the shop again to get a new cock ring. Perhaps edging himself and getting some really intense orgasms in will help, he thinks.

It is, of course, Wei Wuxian who helps him pick one out. He flushes pink when Lan Wangji examines the one he has been shown and tells him, “I like the feel of this one, but it will be much too small.”

Two days later, he finds that he has somehow already gone through his bottle of his favorite lube, so he stops by again to pick another one up. Wei Wuxian flushes even harder at this, having been the one to sell him his last many bottles of lube not even two weeks prior.

On the last day of the third week of Lan Wangji’s plan of masturbating so frequently he cannot possibly get horny at work, he actually manages to make it home before feeling the extremely urgent need to come. He’s very pleased with himself and rewards himself with his favorite take out, and later rewards himself with a fantastic dicking, using his largest dildo and his stroker simultaneously for the most impressive orgasm he’s had in weeks.

However, tragedy strikes on Monday and Lan Wangji is set all the way back to square one.

So. It’s not that Lan Wangji hasn’t noticed that Wei Wuxian has been acting a little off ever since his purchasing of the cock cage. He does notice, is overly aware of it, even, but just can’t let himself focus on why that might be beyond the awkwardness of knowing what your boss is into. He notices the way the Wei Wuxian stumbles over his words and blushes more easily, the way that he’s more hesitant to touch Lan Wangji in the friendly way he used to, the way his eyes sometimes linger around Lan Wangji’s crotch. Lan Wangji knows.

But he also knows how unlikely it is that Wei Wuxian shares his feelings. It’s most likely just an odd fascination with how different Lan Wangji’s preferences are from what one would expect of him. Wei Wuxian is a young, bright, happy man who would never want anything to do with Lan Wangji, older, stiff, stern. So he pointedly ignores all of Wei Wuxian’s behaviors.

This one, though, Lan Wangji is wholly unable to ignore.

Lan Wangji calls Wei Wuxian into his office to go over some of the paperwork that needs submitted later this week. Wei Wuxian seems to be a little more on edge than usual, trying not to look Lan Wangji in the eye. They’ve barely been in the same space for a minute and Wei Wuxian’s cheeks are already pink.

This meeting will be rough.

They make it in about ten minutes without incident, Wei Wuxian settling in as they talk business, finalizing deadlines and evaluating numbers. As much as Lan Wangji is woefully biased, he would never inflate someone’s abilities, and Wei Wuxian is really, truly brilliant, a wonderful asset to the team in a way hardly any interns ever are. It’s part of why Lan Wangji is completely and utterly lost on him.

A couple of minutes later, Wei Wuxian reaches across the table to grab a paper and the next moments happen in slow motion.

Wei Wuxian’s hand knocking into Lan Wangji’s cooling cup of tea.

The cup falling over, tea spilling across the desk and into Lan Wangji’s lap.

Wei Wuxian going bright red, panicking, apologizing over and over and over.

Lan Wangji standing up to try to mitigate the damage.

Wei Wuxian frantically grabbing his own thin jacket off of the back of his chair, rounding the desk, reaching out to Lan Wangji, saying, “Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I’m so sorry, here, let me–”

Then the final hit, the death blow to Lan Wangji’s sanity that was already only hanging on by a thread,

Wei Wuxian pressing his jacket to Lan Wangji’s crotch, trying to clean up some of the mess.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes going big when he realizes that neither the fabric of his jacket nor the fabric of Lan Wangji’s slacks do anything to hide the clear feeling of how… well-endowed Lan Wangji is.

Nor do they hide the fact that he begins to harden the moment Wei Wuxian’s hand is on him.

For a moment, they are frozen in time, locking eyes while Wei Wuxian’s hand is still on his crotch, and he is still getting harder, and all Wei Wuxian can do is gape at him, his cheeks reddening, his eyes going dark. The bulge in Lan Wangji’s pants is noticeable, now, hot to the touch, and he knows his ears are bright red, he knows he should pull away and snap at Wei Wuxian, he knows this is completely and utterly inappropriate, he knows he could lose his job for this, but Wei Wuxian is looking at him and then Wei Wuxian flushes darker and the next moment he squeezes, just a little bit, but enough to draw out a gasp from Lan Wangji and–

A clatter out in the office. People going, “Aw, hey, you better clean that up!” and “Ohhh, party foul!” and “Goddamnit, I had just sorted those!”

And they jump apart, startled, breathing hard. Lan Wangji abruptly sits back down in his seat, uncaring of the cold tea that has collected there. He crosses his legs. Wei Wuxian stands, clutching his jacket to his chest. He opens his mouth to say–

He turns around, flees Lan Wangji’s office. Doesn’t even stop by his desk, rushing to the elevator and rapidly pressing the down button. Five minutes later, while Lan Wangji is still sitting dazed in his office, trying to process what just happened, there’s a notification in their work group chat, informing everyone that Wei Wuxian wasn’t feeling well and went home, and could Nie Huaisang bring him his bag on the way home? and a little upside-down smiling emoji.

Lan Wangji takes a deep breath. As soon as his boner is willed away, he promptly collects his things and takes a half-day himself, also feigning illness.

Once more, he barely makes it home before shoving his hands down his pants.

This is it, he thinks, panting with his head pressed back against the door. There’s no solution this time.

—

Holy fucking shit.

Well, if Wei Wuxian wasn’t fired last time, he definitely will be this time because he fucking felt up his boss at work after spilling tea on him.

Listen. Wei Wuxian is not usually this dumb. He knows he’s smart, he knows he’s great academically, he knows he does stellar work in the office, especially for an intern.

But when it comes to Lan Wangji, it’s like his brain melts out his ears. And also like he’s a goddamn teenager again because all Lan Wangji has to do is look at him and he’s half-mast.

So, really, it’s actually Lan Wangji’s fault that Wei Wuxian spilled tea everywhere because Wei Wuxian simply had to spend practically the whole weekend masturbating because Lan Wangji came back to the sex store twice basically bragging about his dick size and how much action he’s getting. If Wei Wuxian didn’t jack off about it he was going to go insane.

And then, post-masturbating way too much in the span of 48 hours, he went insane anyway because Lan Wangji called him into his office. Where it would just be the two of them. Alone. With Lan Wangji’s intense gaze on him and only him. Looking all serious, buttoned-up dilf who doesn’t frequent the local sex shop and buy extra large cock cages and hazardously big tentacle dildos. God, the contrast really gets Wei Wuxian going.

So. Yeah. Lan Wangji’s fault. His fault that Wei Wuxian couldn’t meet his gaze, was all blushy for the agonizing ten minutes until Wei Wuxian was an idiot and made a mess.

And then.

And then.

Fuck, why is he so stupid? Why in the world did he think, “Oh no, I’ve just spilled tea all over my hot dilf boss’s lap, I should help clean that up by essentially fondling him!”? And why did he not take into consideration, having been given the information before, the fact that Lan Wangji has an enormous cock? That would obviously be able to be felt through his pants?

Fucking hell. It really was an enormous cock. Frankly, him getting fired is totally worth it because that’s going to fuel Wei Wuxian’s spank bank for years, possibly decades. And, fuck, the way that Lan Wangji had looked at him, his eyes dark and sharp, and the way that he got bigger and firmer almost as soon as Wei Wuxian had put his hand on him, and the way that he took a quick little inhale like he couldn’t help it when Wei Wuxian had the insane idea to grab—

God, yeah, so fucking worth it.

Who knows if Wei Wuxian is ever gonna be able to go back to work, but hey, he’s got the sex shop and the knowledge of what Lan Wangji’s semi-hard dick feels like. A good trade-off.

Fuck. Wei Wuxian really needs to get laid.

—

For the rest of the week, Lan Wangji makes use of the impressive amount of sick time he’s managed to accumulate while working at the office. There is simply no way in hell that Lan Wangji could face Wei Wuxian after what happened without snapping and bending him over on his desk, uncaring of the papers they would scatter, of the people who would see, of the inappropriate relationship between him and a subordinate–

Yes. Lan Wangji cannot handle going back into work.

But. He has another plan. One that involves both him and Wei Wuxian keeping their jobs and hopefully reducing any further incidents. He was hoping that he wasn’t going to have to go this route because it’s not his favorite option, especially when he actually has… feelings for an individual, but it’s all that he’s got left.

Lan Wangji needs to find a twink to obliterate.

Hooking up is annoying and tedious and often doesn’t leave him quite satisfied, so he doesn’t usually partake too frequently. But he feels like if he doesn’t feel the touch of another person and, shamefully, doesn’t have a better outlet to fantasize about fucking the coherence out of Wei Wuxian, he’s going to lose it. Well. More than he already has.

He forces himself to wait until Friday night, wanting both to allow himself some time to calm down a little and to ensure that he has the widest pool to pick from.

After spending the week doing his best to get some work done from home despite his intense and constant distraction, he finally allows himself to open up Grindr at a respectable 7pm. While perhaps a tad late for him, he knows that his sleeping habits are shared by few, and he has the best chance of finding someone who catches his eye if he looks during the busier times.

At once, he is disappointed. No one stands out. He swipes through John after Derek after William, after hunk after bear after otter, without a single eye-catching smile or glimpse of tanned skin. There are many men that he would consider on another day, another time, wherein he isn’t desperately trying to stop thinking about one particular person, but today is not that day. Today he knows what he wants, tall and lean, annoyingly fat ass, messy ponytail–

Ah.

A torso appears on his phone, turned to the side in a beautiful curve, cut just under the chin and just above the ass. Golden brown skin, a few stray freckles here and there. The tips of a ponytail brushing the base of his neck. Promising. Very promising. He clicks on the profile, swipes through the other pictures, and–

And nearly chokes. The man is bent over on his bed in front of a mirror, showcasing a spectacular ass and an enticing bulge underneath incredibly tight briefs. If he weren’t wearing underwear, he would basically be presenting his hole. The phone is held in front of his face and it’s dark enough that other features besides the main one are more difficult to make out. There’s only one more picture, front-facing to highlight his abs and deep V, a happy trail disappearing into dangerously low-slung grey sweatpants. Again, the picture is cut below his face.

No matter. Not to be crass, but Lan Wangji doesn’t particularly need to see his face. He’s perfectly content railing him from behind.

There is no name on the profile, the username only being a cryptic “yllz” – not that Lan Wangji can say anything, his own username being hgj_lz, from an old nickname given to him in college.

He writes out a brief proposal, seeing that the man is also online and only about 15 minutes away. “Yllz” quickly replies, with an astonishing amount of emojis that Lan Wangji only semi-understands. Lan Wangji sends his address, promises to refund any expenses needed to get to his apartment, and does a swift walk-through of his apartment to ensure that everything is prepared, anticipation simmering in his stomach.

Just as with waiting for anything, the next 15 minutes feel about 10 minutes long each, which puts Lan Wangji feeling like two and a half hours have passed by when he hears a brisk knock against his door.

Lan Wangji takes a deep breath, centering himself for a moment. There is a twink at his door, who is unfortunately not Wei Wuxian, but he is going to fuck the twink very hard for a long time and hopefully this will mean he can go back to the office in person without coming his pants. He gives himself a little encouraging nod, straightens his trousers (not that they’ll be on for long), and approaches his front door, opening it to see—

To see Wei Wuxian.

To see Wei Wuxian, with smoky eyeliner, in skintight jeans with fishnets visible through the numerous holes, in a maroon crop top—

To see Wei Wuxian register who has just answered the door and say, “Oh, thank fucking god,” and barrel into Lan Wangji lips-first.

Kissing Wei Wuxian is, expectedly, a revelation. His lips are soft and sweet and nothing else in the world matters now. Lan Wangji doesn’t have the time to think about his actions, suddenly having an armful of practically half-naked Wei Wuxian grasping at his shirt and nipping at his lips. Somehow the door ends up pushed shut and Lan Wangji has Wei Wuxian pressed up against it, panting and deliberately grinding his hips against Lan Wangji’s thigh, which is Doing Things to Lan Wangji’s fraying sense of self control. Never in his life has Lan Wangji gotten hard this fast, and the sudden rush of blood to his cock is making him dizzy, drunk on the feeling of being pressed against the very person he’s been lusting after for months, the person he’s orgasmed thinking about more times in a week than most people do in half a year.

But Wei Wuxian’s gasping, “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan–”, is what breaks Lan Wangji out of it, suddenly stepping back in an attempt to put some space between the two of them. Wei Wuxian, however, does not take the hint and follows him back, sliding his hand up his back to wrap around the nape of Lan Wangji’s neck, pulling their lips back together with a desperate whine.

Lan Wangji is pulled under again, swept away with the current that is Wei Wuxian, sinking further into the depths of lust. His hands have found their way to Wei Wuxian’s ass, and he finally, finally gets to give it an appreciative squeeze, groaning into his mouth at the way it gives under his hands. Wei Wuxian’s mouth breaks away from his own as he lets out a broken moan, stumbling against Lan Wangji and pushing them further back into the apartment as if he could no longer hold his own weight, overcome by sheer horniness.

Once more, Lan Wangji attempts to get a hold of himself, his mouth being released again.

“Wei Ying, Wei Ying–” he chokes out, prompting Wei Wuxian to moan again and clamp his hand down harder on Lan Wangji’s neck. Based on this reaction, Lan Wangji supposes he did not say Wei Wuxian’s name in a way that conveyed wanting to stop whatever was happening.

Recalculating (which is rather difficult as Wei Wuxian has Lan Wangji’s bottom lip sucked into his mouth again), he tries again, saying into Wei Wuxian’s mouth, “Wait, wait, Wei Ying, I–”

“I can’t wait any longer, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian breathes, his chest shuddering against Lan Wangji’s own.

“Fuck–” Lan Wangji curses, involuntarily digging his fingers further into the meat of Wei Wuxian’s ass. Wei Wuxian groans appreciatively and pushes his ass into Lan Wangji’s hands in encouragement.

Lan Wangji is lost again for a moment when Wei Wuxian sucks his tongue into his mouth with a whine, but he manages to pull his tongue back to say again against Wei Wuxian’s lips, “Wei Ying, we have to stop, we can’t–”

He feels Wei Wuxian smile against him for a brief moment before Lan Wangji chokes out a gasp and nearly topples over one of his living room chairs, willing his hips to not buck forward wildly against Wei Wuxian’s palm that was just slid in between them.

Pressing against his cock and eliciting a desperate moan from Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian leans forward and whispers into Lan Wangji’s ear, “I think it’s pretty clear that we can, gege.”

The next moment, in an exciting swap of roles, Lan Wangji finds himself backed up against a wall with Wei Wuxian’s leg slotted between his own. One hand is still wrapped around the back of his neck while the other is still palming his cock, and Lan Wangji is about to explode. Or come.

“Wei Ying, please–” he begs, unsure whether he’s begging him to stop or to keep going (in his soul he knows which he’s begging for, but he can never admit it).

“I’m here, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, trailing away from Lan Wangji’s mouth towards his jawline, leaving open-mouthed kisses in his wake.

“We have– we have to stop–” Lan Wangji’s hands scrabble against Wei Wuxian’s back, torn between pulling him closer and pushing him away.

“Says who?” Wei Wuxian retorts before biting at Lan Wangji’s jaw.

“We can’t, I’m– I’m your boss, Wei Ying,” he gasps.

“I’ll quit.”

Lan Wangji inhales sharply at that, and then again when Wei Wuxian’s tongue finds the sensitive spot on his neck just below his ear. He can’t help but shudder in Wei Wuxian’s grasp, which is not helping his ability to convince Wei Wuxian that they should not be doing this. It is also not helping convince Lan Wangji that he should be convincing Wei Wuxian that they should not be doing this. He cannot continue down that line of thought, though, lest he confuse himself further in his compromised state.

“Wei Ying, it’s inappropriate–”

“I like inappropriate, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji is rapidly losing motivation for stopping this. There’s just one other reason that’s been nagging at Lan Wangji, one other barrier between them that he’s sure Wei Wuxian wouldn’t want if he were reminded of it—

“I’m— a decade older than you, Wei Ying, I’m too old for you, we can’t—“ Lan Wangji gasps desperately, holding onto his last thread of coherence while Wei Wuxian is doing his best to snap it, nipping along his neck, and at his sanity, and rucking his shirt up to find Lan Wangji’s bare skin.

At that, Wei Wuxian pulls back to look Lan Wangji squarely in the eyes. They stand there for a moment, panting hard, hips flush, hands gripped tightly on one another, betraying how badly Lan Wangji wants this despite his words. And then, after a moment of searching his face, for what Lan Wangji does not know, the corner of Wei Wuxian’s mouth lifts up in a sly smirk.

Another moment of ragged breathing, and Wei Wuxian says,

“Then I’ll just call you daddy.”

The thread snaps abruptly and Lan Wangji is no longer concerned about his sanity or his morals. Now he’s only concerned about how quickly he can get Wei Wuxian onto his bed and his cock into Wei Wuxian’s ass.

Wei Wuxian yelps as he’s suddenly lifted off the floor, wriggling in Lan Wangji’s arms and wrapping his legs around him. Startled, he tenses up, beginning to whine Lan Wangji’s name, but soon enough realizes that they are not headed out of the apartment but rather towards Lan Wangji’s bedroom, and Lan Wangji’s name is followed by a litany of yes yes yes yes, fuck, yes–

Moments later, Wei Wuxian is tossed on Lan Wangji’s bed, his legs immediately parting to make room for Lan Wangji. Before settling in his rightful place, though, Lan Wangji takes a second to indulge in the miraculous view that is Wei Wuxian in his bed, cheeks red and chest heaving. He isn’t given much time to do so, however, before Wei Wuxian starts whining at him again to c’mere, Lan Zhan, please, let me touch you, Lan Zhan–

And so Lan Wangji does. He’s on top of Wei Wuxian the next moment, sliding his hands up his shirt to bare his tits, latching onto a nipple immediately with a satisfied groan and ripping a desperate keen from Wei Wuxian, who promptly tangles his fingers in Lan Wangji’s hair.

“Fuck, please, Lan Zhan-” he begs, digging his nails into Lan Wangji’s scalp with a sting that makes Lan Wangji delirious, “fuck, I need–”

Pulling off Wei Wuxian’s nipple with an audible pop, Lan Wangji flicks his eyes up towards Wei Wuxian’s face and makes direct eye contact with him, his face pink, his lips open and his breath heaving. He runs his hands back down his torso to his ass, then back up his spread thighs until his hands rest under Wei Wuxian’s knees, and harshly presses back, folding Wei Wuxian in half until his knees are next to his ears and his clothed hole is pushed against the bulge straining against his trousers. Wei Wuxian, already reduced to a babbling, whining mess, stutters out a gratifying moan, tears springing to his eyes and releasing his grasp on Lan Wangji’s hair, instead slipping his hands inside of Lan Wangji’s shirt and clawing at his shoulders hard enough he’s likely left welts in his wake. Maintaining eye contact, Lan Wangji hums appreciatively low in his throat, his mouth quirked in the slightest smirk, smug at having such an effect on Wei Wuxian so quickly, and grinds against Wei Wuxian’s ass. On a particularly brutal press of his cock, Lan Wangji shoves Wei Wuxian’s knees as far back as they can, pressed up against the bed, and leans up over Wei Wuxian’s face until he can feel Wei Wuxian’s panting breaths on his cheeks, and tells him,

“I know what you need.”

At this, Wei Wuxian’s eyes roll back in his head and his breath hitches, his body convulsing harshly underneath Lan Wangji, shaking and shuddering his way through his orgasm before Lan Wangji even got him out of his clothes. It is, by far, the single hottest thing Lan Wangji has ever witnessed in his entire 32 years of existence, and he has half a mind to finish rubbing one off right here right now on Wei Wuxian’s ass, and almost does quite involuntarily, but instead reminds himself that he wanted his cock inside Wei Wuxian. This thought restrains him well enough to grind his cock against Wei Wuxian to coax him through the rest of his orgasm without blowing his own load early.

After a long moment, Wei Wuxian seems to gain some sentience and bodily function back because he begins to press up against Lan Wangji with intention and his hands tighten on his shoulders once more. Lan Wangji stares hungrily at his flushed face, cheeks dampened with overstimulated tears, until he regains his breath enough to speak.

“Ah, Lan Zhan–,” he gasps out, “I’m– ah, that’s embarrassing, I’m sorr–”

Wei Wuxian isn’t even given the chance to choke out that last syllable before Lan Wangji is devouring his mouth again, releasing his knees in favor of groping his ass through the tears in his jeans that sit right at the juncture of his ass cheeks and the top of his thighs. Lan Wangji could hear the threads of the jeans creaking and snapping when he bent Wei Wuxian in half, so he maneuvers both of his hands into one of the tears, eliciting a confused “Mm?” from Wei Wuxian, before harshly ripping the jeans apart further, tearing a hole across the seat of the pants until it merges with the tear on the other leg.

“Hey, I liked those pants!” Wei Wuxian whines into his mouth.

Lan Wangji pulls away from Wei Wuxian with a strangled groan to sit back and take in the sight before him, Wei Wuxian’s balls, taint, and asshole bared, all shining wet with come and– fuck, and a plug buried in his ass, all still somewhat confined by the fishnet stockings he’s got on underneath his (now annihilated) jeans.

“I’ll buy you a new pair,” he promises, and swiftly rips into the fishnets as well.

“Lan Zhaaan,” Wei Wuxian whines again, a clear note of amusement in his voice. Lan Wangji meets his eyes and sternly says, “Those, too,” before leaning down and curling his tongue around the base of the plug stuffed in his ass.

Suddenly arching his back as much as possible in the position he’s in, Wei Wuxians gasps and squeals, “Lan Zhan!”, wriggling and writhing in a way that made it unclear whether or not he was trying to get away from Lan Wangji’s tongue or press it further into him.

“What– Lan Zhan, what are you doing??”

“Tasting you,” he replies, licking a fat stripe up Wei Wuxian’s taint and across the seam of his balls, drooling over the taste of Wei Wuxian’s come and the taste of him, salty and musky and better than he ever imagined. He relays the discovery to Wei Wuxian, who jerks so hard he nearly kicks Lan Wangji in the head before scrabbling to unzip his jeans and shove them down his thighs.

“You– you thought about me? How I taste?” Wei Wuxian gasps with wonder, struggling to wiggle out of his demolished jeans even with Lan Wangji sitting back to help tug them off.

“Every day.”

The pants are finally wrenched off of his pants, leaving the torn fishnets behind.

“For how long?”

Lan Wangji grasps Wei Wuxian’s freed thighs roughly, moving his hands down to his ass cheeks to pull them apart, watching how his hole clenches rhythmically around the plug keeping him open.

“Since your first day at the office,” he confesses.

“Fuuck,” Wei Wuxian groans, thunking his head back against the bed. For a moment, Lan Wangji pauses, worrying that his confession might have been a step too far, admitting that he’s been imagining been thinking about this exact scenario about his intern for months, before they were even better acquainted. But then–

“Lan Zhan,” he whines, “you’re telling me we could have been fucking like this for months?”

Lan Wangji’s hands spasm around Wei Wuxian’s ass as he chokes out a groan and immediately begins to fumble with his own fly, frantically trying to release his aching cock while Wei Wuxian grins up at him, shaking his ass and making his still-hard cock bounce enticingly. Wei Wuxian murmurs an encouraging string of half-coherent words, yes, give it to me, let me see you, let me see that fat cock, please, yes. Lan Wangji’s mouth drops open and eyes squeeze shut momentarily when his cock finally springs out of his briefs, gripping the base of it tightly to provide some temporary relief while staving off his impending orgasm. He really doesn’t want to come as soon as he bottoms out, as good as it may feel. Another time, perhaps. Once his own heavy breathing subsides, he realizes that Wei Wuxian has gone quiet, and blinks his eyes open.

Wei Wuxian is staring, gaping at his cock, his face redder than it was before, his fingers clenched tightly around the bedsheets. Lan Wangji mouth quirks, feeling quite smug, and he fully strokes his cock, once, twice with his large hand, precome dripping from the tip onto Wei Wuxian’s taint and sliding over the base of the plug still stuffed in his ass. He knows that Wei Wuxian has had the dimensions of his soft cock detailed to him, but never his hard cock, and even so, numbers are vague things. Nothing compares to being presented with the real thing. Wei Wuxian flicks his gaze back up to Lan Wangji’s face and breaks out into a satisfied smile, biting at his bottom lip.

“I knew you were big, gege, but holy fuck,” he giggles, reaching out his own hand to grab Lan Wangji’s cock almost as if he doesn’t realize he’s even doing it. The smile is wiped off his face when Lan Wangji leans forward and allows him to fully wrap his hand around his cock, not even covering half the length and fingertips barely touching. Eyes half-lidded and panting, Wei Wuxian releases his grip on Lan Wangji’s cock and pulls him down into another kiss. Underneath him, Wei Wuxian reaches down to gently work the plug out of his ass and hisses when Lan Wangji’s dick twitches hard enough to smack against his wet, empty hole. Fuck, Lan Wangji wants nothing more than to just shove his cock inside of him and fuck him like an animal.

Like he’s read Lan Wangji’s mind, Wei Wuxian hooks his legs around Lan Wangji’s back, pulls him forward until his cock is pressed right up against his asshole, looks right into Lan Wangji’s eyes and says, “I want you to fuck me now, daddy.”

Before he even realizes what he’s doing, a groan is ripped from Lan Wangji’s throat and he’s pressing the tip of his cock into Wei Wuxian’s hole, the lube from the plug and his own copious amounts of precome enough to ease the slide. Wei Wuxian is gasping for breath, stiffened up beneath him but still urging him forward with his legs wrapped around Lan Wangji’s waist. Lan Wangji’s got the tip of his cock fully engulfed within Wei Wuxian’s ass when he realizes his mistake, and attempts to choke out the proper words.

“Fuck, I– Wei Ying, I didn’t–” he gasps, any backwards movement prevented by the legs locked around him. “The– the condom–” he finally manages to spit out as his cock slides another centimeter inside of Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian shakes his head vigorously as he tugs on the front of Lan Wangji’s shirt, pulling him down until he’s bracing himself up on his forearms on either side of Wei Wuxian’s head to avoid toppling over onto Wei Wuxian altogether.

“It’s fine,” Wei Wuxian gasps into his mouth. “I’ve– I’ve never–”

Whatever he’s trying to say gets cut off as he presses his lips against Lan Wangji’s and rocks himself further onto Lan Wangji’s cock. Fuck, Lan Wangji’s chest is heaving and his thighs are shaking with restraint, summoning all of his willpower to not thrust fully inside of Wei Wuxian until he finishes the sentence. He pulls back, drawing a whine out of Wei Wuxian, just far enough to ask, “Never what?”

“Never– Lan Zhan, it’s okay because,” he says with great effort in between panting breaths, “I’ve never done– this with another person– ah!”

With that, Lan Wangji’s patience breaks for the final time that evening, snapping his hips forward and shoving the rest of his cock inside of Wei Wuxian in one thrust, the zipper of his fly digging into Wei Wuxian’s ass. With a disgruntled growl, he shoves his pants halfway down his thighs and rips his shirt open and off, buttons flying across the room. Now that he had the chance, nothing was going to stop him from fucking Wei Wuxian like he’s needed to the last few months. Wei Wuxian gasps out a laugh that quickly turns into a prolonged moan as Lan Wangji begins to draw back out.

“Fuck, Lan Zhan, I’ve never had something– something so big inside me,” he whines. “It– it hurts, gege!”

“Fuck,” Lan Wangji swears under his breath, and slams back into that tight, virgin hole again, and again, and again. Any higher brain function has ceased, replaced only with fuck, virgin, tight, fuck, Wei Ying. “So tight,” he murmurs, his words melting out of his brain and out his mouth.

Wei Wuxian keens and smashes their lips back together, apparently eager to choke on Lan Wangji’s tongue and spit. Lan Wangji’s room is filled with the sounds of fucking, of his thighs slapping against Wei Wuxian’s ass, Wei Wuxian’s whining moans and his own soft grunts. It’s filled with Wei Wuxian’s scent, his sweat and come and spicy perfume, the smell soaking into Lan Wangji’s bedsheets. He’s never going to wash them again.

Once Wei Wuxian is hardly coherent enough to kiss, Lan Wangji pulls back once again to take in the view before him. The fishnets are digging into Wei Wuxian’s thighs, leaving red imprints on his plush skin. His crop top is hiked up above his chest, his brown nipples on display, perfect for him to pinch and bully while he slams his cock into that fucking virginal hole. Said virginal hole is spread so nicely around his cock, sucking him in again and again, clenching around him every time he thrusts in. Wei Wuxian’s poor little cock slaps against his own stomach with every thrust, precome pooling in his navel and leaking down his sides.

Lan Wangji is not going to last much longer.

He wraps his hand around Wei Wuxian’s cock to bring him to orgasm before he chases his own, but Wei Wuxian bats his hand away, looking up at him with big, teary eyes.

“No, Lan Zhan, just– just like this,” he begs, bringing his hips up to meet every thrust.

“Fuck, Wei Ying–”

He fucks into him harder and harder, the bed creaking and rattling against the wall, surely inviting a noise complaint from the neighbors. Lan Wangji couldn’t care less. He’d pay for the tenants to leave the goddamn apartment if he got to have this every day, it doesn’t matter.

Soon enough, his thrusts became erratic, and Wei Wuxian’s moans grew louder. Lan Wangji moved to pull out and bring himself to climax over Wei Wuxian’s stomach, but Wei Wuxian just tightened his legs around Lan Wangji’s waist again.

“Wei Ying–” he warns, “I’m going to–”

Wei Wuxian keens again, says, “Yes–”, says, “Please–”,

begs, “Inside, daddy–”

And that’s it for Lan Wangji.

He’s coming, and coming, and coming, vaguely aware that he’s moaning louder than he ever does, possibly repeating Wei Wuxian’s name as his hips jerk uncontrollably inside of Wei Wuxian, his come already leaking out around his cock as he keeps coming–

And Wei Wuxian is coming, too, spurting white across his stomach, high enough that he hits himself in the face, eyes again rolled back and hardly able to choke out a sound, hands clawing at Lan Wangji’s back and definitely breaking skin, shaking and convulsing.

Lan Wangji has no idea how long he’s been coming, it feels like minutes, it might actually be minutes, until he’s finally bordering on oversensitive and collapsing on top of Wei Wuxian, the two a heaving, sweaty, come-covered mess. It’s the best sex Lan Wangji thinks he’ll ever have.

—

Wei Wuxian slowly blinks the sleep out of his eyes, feeling warm and cozy and more well-rested than he’s ever felt waking up. His bed is soft and firm and the comforter he’s curled up in is fluffy and lightweight, but still keeping him nice and toasty, and the pillow feels like a cloud–

Wait. This is not Wei Wuxian’s bed.

He jerks upright in a panic, looking around a room he doesn’t recognize, in a bed he doesn’t recognize, and – he looks down – in pajamas he doesn’t recognize. His frantic motions have also tweaked, like, all of his muscles, which all ache with a pain he also doesn’t recognize and– OH. Oh.

It’s Lan Wangji’s room. Where he got absolutely fucking railed last night.

He lowers himself back into his nest of blankets and stretches out like a cat, feeling his spine pop and his hips pop and his elbows pop and– well, you get the idea. He a little bit feels like he got hit by a truck, but like, in a good way that was so extremely worth it. Even if he never has sex with Lan Wangji again, last night will keep his spank bank full for the next forever, probably. Who knew that Lan Wangji, office dilf, beautiful owner of huge cock and countless dildos, was such a sex god?

Well, Wei Wuxian sort of figured.

To be completely honest, Wei Wuxian has no idea how he got so lucky. He was wallowing in his bedroom, wondering if he was finally going to be fired once Lan Wangji returned to the office, and also fighting the urge to jerk off again while thinking about the most recent Incident. By god, what a huge dick. He thought, Lan Wangji has to be fucking people with that cock, right? It would be a waste if he wasn’t. So, he had pulled out his literally never used Grindr account, updated its pictures to more recent thirst traps he’d taken, and started browsing. He didn’t really have any intention to hook up with any random guy. He doesn’t really love the concept of virginity or anything, but, well. If he’s going to be losing it tonight, it’s not gonna be with… Chad. Or Steven. Or Stephen.

After thirty minutes of mindless scrolling through many guys, whose main flaw was that they were not Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian was about to give up. Of course, Lan Wangji isn’t on Grindr, stupid fucking idea, he probably picks guys up at fancy clubs or organic grocery stores, he wouldn’t want just any random twink that flashes hole on the internet–

But then he saw it. The account.

That had to be Lan Wangji. Just like with Wei Wuxian’s own pictures, his face wasn’t visible. There were only three pictures, but it had to be him. The first was an elegant shot of the man in a suit, the collar unbuttoned and the tie loosened, showing just a hint of collarbone, no wrinkle in sight on the jacket or the shirt. The second was of him shirtless, a selfie in a mirror with his entire delicious, muscular back on display, turned to the side just enough to show off his huge fucking tits. This guy certainly worked out. And the third picture was of – Wei Wuxian had choked on his own spit – his huge fucking bulge in his tight slacks in his desk chair at work.

Wei Wuxian knew that suit. Wei Wuxian knew those delicate-but-strong hands that held that phone up for a self. Wei Wuxian was intimately familiar with staring at Lan Wangji’s crotch in those pants and even more intimately familiar with imagining Lan Wangji fucking him in that chair. It had to be him.

And then he got a fucking DM from the account.

He had to go see if he was right. If it turned out to be any other person, Wei Wuxian would awkwardly apologize with some excuse or another and just walk away and sadly wring one out on his own, no harm no foul. But if it was Lan Wangji… well.

Here he is.

Filled with glee at the fact that he got railed by the hottest guy in the literal world, Wei Wuxian flops around giddily on the bed, unable to contain his delight. He really got fucked! So hard! By a man who looked like he was cut from jade! Who, to Wei Wuxian’s knowledge, really enjoyed himself! And, god, who had even said that he’s been wanting to fuck Wei Wuxian this whole time. Yeah, he really scored the jackpot last night.

In the midst of his gleeful flopping, he neglects to hear the door to the bedroom opening. Mid-wiggle he opens his eyes to find Lan Wangji staring at him, clearly suppressing a smile, holding two steaming mugs.

“Ah! Lan Zhan!” he exclaims, scrambling to cover himself with the comforter to look like he was perhaps just getting cozy in the bed again. He fails. Obviously.

Lan Wangji just lets his mouth form even more of a smile and sits on his side of the bed, handing one of the mugs to Wei Wuxian. “Good morning, Wei Ying.”

Taking a deep inhale of the mug in his hands, Wei Wuxian lets out a nearly pornographic moan at the smell, and then takes a much too large gulp of the very hot coffee.

“Oh my god, Lan Zhan, you’re really the best, this is the best coffee I think I’ve ever had. Really, it’s..” Instead of waxing poetic about the coffee even more, he just takes another gulp, eyes closed in caffeinated satisfaction.

When he opens his eyes to look at Lan Wangji again, his ears are a little pink and his eyes have gone a bit dark, but he’s still looking at Wei Wuxian with a tiny little smile that is quite possibly the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“Your smile is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he then says, because he doesn’t really have much of a filter in the morning, and then he a little bit panics because Lan Wangji looks somewhat shocked by this admission.

“Ah!” Wei Wuxian exclaims into the awkward silence, hiding his face behind his mug. “That’s probably a weird thing to say to a one night stand, huh?” Because that’s probably what this was, to Lan Wangji, who likely doesn’t really want much else to do with some 22 year old intern besides having a fun little romp in bed.

He feels gentle fingers wrap around his wrist and lower his arm, so he squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t particularly want to see whatever embarrassment-inducing expression is on Lan Wangji’s face right now.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says softly, sounding concerned.

Oh, damnit. He’s gotta open his eyes now. He peeks at Lan Wangji’s face, and yep, he even looks concerned.

“Wei Ying,” he says again, eyes boring into Wei Wuxian’s soul. How does he do that? “Do you… would you like this to only be a one night stand?”

No, of course I don’t want the magnificent dicking down of a lifetime with the most perfect man in the world to be a one night stand, he doesn’t say. He doesn’t really say anything, actually. Lan Wangji’s face starts to droop, dropping eye contact and he loosens his grip on Wei Wuxian’s wrist. Huh. Maybe… maybe he doesn’t want this to be a one night stand either.

“No,” Wei Wuxian whispers. Lan Wangji immediately stares back into his soul. Wei Wuxian smiles, big and bright.

“No,” he says more confidently. “I don’t want this to only be a one night stand. If… if you’ll have me, I’d certainly like to do this more often.”

“If I’ll have you?”

“Yeah, if you’ll have me,” Wei Wuxian laughs, loving every minute of Lan Wangji’s strange intensity.

“Wei Ying,” he says again, as if his name is just a whole sentence, as if it has meaning beyond a name, as if it always has had meaning beyond a name. “I’m in love with you. If you’ll have me.”

And with that, Wei Wuxian giggles so hard he almost spills his coffee before setting it down on the nightstand and collapses into Lan Wangji’s arms. He’s never felt so happy before, so light and warm, so safe in Lan Wangji’s arms as he smiles down at Wei Wuxian.

He reaches up and cups Lan Wangji’s cheek in his hand.

“Of course I’ll have you. I’ll have you every day.” Lan Wangji’s ears pinken again. “Of course I love you.”

Lan Wangji leans down and kisses him, and Wei Wuxian can feel it for the promise that it is.

“This is going to make work a lot more interesting, isn’t it?” he says, a few minutes and a few fingers up his ass later.

“Mn,” Lan Wangji replies, sucking Wei Wuxian’s cock back into his throat.

Yeah. The office is gonna be way more interesting now.