Work Text:
“Just to be clear, you all know why I’m asking this, right?” Dennis asked, to the room of specifically chosen wards.
Chris and Missy were sitting in front of him, on the couch, while Sophia was standing up behind them, trying to pretend she didn’t care. He hadn’t asked Carlos or Dean to come because Dennis knew they’d snitch to Victoria.
Chris was mainly on his side, while Missy wasn’t Glory Girl’s biggest fan, due to the Dean thing she had. Sophia was a last minute invite, and while he didn’t expect her to participate, it wasn’t like she’d snitch even if this was a waste of her time.
“No?” Chris asked. Right, he probably hadn’t even noticed, dealing with the fallout from his experimental cannon thingy.
“If anyone asks, you didn’t hear this from me, but apparently the Undersiders’ Thinker really got under Panacea’s skin, and on the way out of the briefing, I heard Glory Girl reassuring Panacea about how it didn’t matter,” Dennis paused for effect. “if her dad was a villain!”
Chris nodded. “Amy’s dad was a villain?”
“We don’t know that for sure!” Missy interjected. “You shouldn’t just trust whatever a thinker says!”
“For the sake of speculation, we’ll hypothesize that Tattletale was being honest.” Dennis decided.
“Look at you, using fancy words,” Sophia finally spoke up. “Pick up a thesaurus for the first time, eh Dennis?”
“I’ll have you know it was my second time, actually.” Dennis played off of Sophia, making himself the center of attention.
Dennis walked over to the whiteboard and grabbed a marker, circling the big question in the middle.
“Let's get to it! Any ideas?” He asked, expectantly.
No one said anything, but Chris at least shook his head.
“Yeesh, tough crowd today,” Dennis groaned. “Guess I’ll go first.”
He turned back to the whiteboard, and began scribbling in red marker.
“To me, this makes the most sense.” Dennis said, after he finished writing. On the board, adjoined to the big question in the middle by a hastily drawn line was the name Kaiser.
Missy hummed. “It does check out logically. I’d be pretty terrified of that getting out.”
Dennis agreed. “Yeah! Imagine what PHO would be saying if the world found out Brockton’s premier healer was related to, like, THE Nazi!”
“Um, Dennis?” Chris spoke up. “I don’t think Kaiser qualifies as ‘THE Nazi’?”
“Well, who does, then?” Dennis asked. “Hookwolf?”
“The ‘Eight’ in Empire Eighty Eight?” Chris said.
“Y’know, the Fuhrer?” Missy said.
“Are those Gesellschaft guys?”
“Oh my god,” Sophia snarled. “Fucking Hitler, Dennis?”
“I don’t think Amy’s dad was Hitler, Sophia. That would be ridiculous.” Dennis said, as if Sophia was crazy.
“Fuck you.” She groaned, ashamed at having played into his joke. “Look, you’re thinking along the wrong lines.”
“How so?” Missy asked.
Sophia walked over to Dennis, and snatched the red marker out of his hands. She took to the whiteboard, and scrawled a new name as another offshoot to the big question.
“There’s no reason for Panacea to hide the fact that Kaiser’s her father,” Sophia started. “She’d get a fuck ton of praise, even, just by going ‘See, I’m not a Nazi Shitbag like dear old dad.’”
“I don’t think that’s what she cares about,” argued Dennis. “Panacea can get praise whenever she wants just by going to her day job.”
“Whatever,” Sophia responded. “The fact of the matter is, Amy’s crazy fucking ashamed of her father, right? That can only mean one thing.”
She turned around, uncovering the name she’d written on the whiteboard, Leet.
Dennis started to giggle. “No, that can’t be right, there’s no way!”
Chris just groaned.
“You make a good point, Sophia,” said Missy. “But I just can’t see it.”
“Missy’s right.” said Dennis. “If that were true, it would mean living in a world where Leet got laid.”
“Fuck, you’re right.” Sophia facepalmed. She went to sit down, but then had an epiphany.
“Wait, I got it. Maybe Amy wasn’t born naturally?” Sophia proposed. “Leet can make anything once, supposedly. Anything…”
“You really think Leet would give up Biotinkering forever, just to make himself a daughter?” Dennis countered.
“No, but maybe he wanted to make a girlfriend.” Sophia was speaking more animatedly, clearly on a roll. “Obviously, he fucked up, since he’s Leet, and made a kid by accident, then pawned off the result to New Wave. Amy’s ashamed because she doesn’t want it to get out that she’s a biotinker creation!”
Dennis’ mouth was left agape in awe.
“That’s a pretty compelling case,” said Vista. “But I think I have a better one.”
“Go ahead.” Sophia tossed the marker to Missy, who twisted space to catch it.
She walked up to the whiteboard, and Sophia took her place on the couch.
“We’ve only got two evidence points.” Missy started. “One: Amy’s dad is a villain. Two: She absolutely does not want that information to spread.”
“Yeah, that’s all we got.” Dennis clarified.
“You guys have been thinking about local villains only. There’s a villain who’s been to Brockton before, a real bad one, too.”
Missy strode to the whiteboard, and in a swift motion, she scribbled down Jack Slash.
“Shit,” whispered Sophia. “That makes sense.”
“Yeah, it would explain why she doesn’t want that being well known. If Jack finds out he has a kid, he might come back.” Dennis agreed, wondering if they’d gone too far.
“Wait,” Chris said something, clearly having been distracted for a while. “Tattletale wouldn’t have pushed if that was the case. The Undersiders may be villains, but they’re not suicidal or desperate enough to even attempt to do anything with a chance of attracting the Nine.”
Dennis and Sophia let out a sigh of relief.
Missy groaned, slightly peeved she’d been disproved that quickly. “Yeah, I can’t argue with that.”
“I think you’re on the right train of thought though, Missy,” Chris said, getting up from the couch. “Let me have a go.”
Missy passed the marker to Chris, who began to jot down a name on the whiteboard.
“A scary villain that’s been to Brockton before, but isn’t local anymore,” Chris began. “You’re thinking about the worst case though. There’s another, more likely answer that makes even more sense, if you ask me.”
Chrish turned back around, presenting the name he’d added to the collection on the whiteboard. Butcher.
“Huh.” Dennis said.
“No, that's bullshit,” Sophia argued. “Butcher’s too unstable, it’s not possible.”
“Hear me out!” Chris asked. “I’ve got evidence.”
“Sure. Go ahead.” Missy gestured for him to continue.
“Firstly, it makes sense why Amy really doesn’t want this to get out. Who’s to say she doesn’t also have the Butcher’s original, main power.”
“Panacea’s power is healing!” Sophia argued.
“Butcher One’s power was his pain blast… until he died,” Chris refuted. “Amy might suspect she’s a similar case, and if anyone finds out, well, a teenager in your head might be a price some are willing to pay for one of the strongest healing powers in the country.”
“Alright, I get your point,” Dennis said. “Continue.”
“Also, doesn’t it make sense that the Butcher could have a kid without realizing? There’s 14 sets of memories in there, and hell, even if they knew about Amy, would they even care?”
“I’m not sure I buy it,” Missy said. “Is the Butcher stable enough to even have a kid?”
“There’s not much we know about the Butcher outside of how they fight,” Dennis shrugged. “Who knows what the Teeth get up to when they aren’t out being evil?”
“It doesn’t explain how Amy ended up with New Wave.” Sophia pointed out.
“Maybe it’s just a coincidence? I doubt Brandish would’ve taken in a kid with the risk factor of being Butcher’s kid.” Dennis said.
“That’s another point towards Leet,” Sophia declared confidently. “He’s pathetic enough that there’s no risk factor.”
“I still think Kaiser makes the most sense.” Dennis added.
“After what happened to Fluer? New Wave wouldn’t want anything to do with the Empire, and they certainly wouldn’t take in Kaiser’s kid!” Sophia argued further.
“That’s why Amy doesn’t want anyone to know!” Dennis protested.
“I gotta agree with Sophia,” Missy groaned, clearly unhappy to admit it. “Her theory’s the only one that adds up.”
“See, Missy agrees with me.”
“What if the Butcher was Amy’s dad and mom?” Chris interjected, cutting through everyone else’s arguments.
Seeing the stunned look on the others’ faces, he clarified.
“If Butcher got someone pregnant, then that person killed the Butcher and became the new one, wouldn’t that make both of Amy’s parents the Butcher?”
“Chris,” Sophia said, wide-eyed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Sorry.”
Suddenly, the door to the room slammed open.
Two adults walked through. Assault and Dauntless.
In a panic, Dennis rushed to cover the whiteboard up with the cloth, but ended up clockblocking it instead. This left the fabric floating midair, concealing absolutely nothing.
Assault’s eyes narrowed as he took in the contents of the board, written in glaring red marker.
“As a responsible hero, I should be reprimanding you all,” Assault said, as he walked towards the board. He gestured to Chris, who dejectedly handed the marker over. “But hell, as a gossip fiend…”
Assault added to the whiteboard. When he was done, a new name joined the rest. Blasto.
“Who the hell is Blasto?” Sophia asked.
“Tinker, up in Boston,” said Missy. “I think he does plants.”
“Close enough,” said Assault. “I think he’s the most likely candidate.”
“Hold on, I’m not sure about this.” Dauntless protested, clearly uncomfortable.
“What, you don’t think Blasto’s realistic?” Assault grinned.
“That’s not what I-”
“I have evidence!” said Assault. “First, Blasto’s power is biology based. We know kids of capes end up getting similar powers to their parents, so that’s solid evidence on its own.”
“That doesn’t account for anything else though,” said Sophia.
“I’m not finished. As far as we know, Blasto’s a guy with, uh, let’s say nebulous , levels of responsibility. Somehow he’s managing alright in a city run by Accord, who’s ruthless to anyone who steps out of line, but he’s also rampaged through the city with a Tree Rex before.”
“Tree Rex?” asked Chris.
“Yeah,” Assault reminisced. “They had to call me in for backup that time. Coolest shit I’ve ever seen.”
“They didn’t let me go to that one.” said Dauntless, ignored by all.
“Regardless, I think Blasto’s the type of guy to end up with a kid, and be responsible enough to admit he’s too irresponsible to handle that, so he gives her up, and lo and behold, Brandish gets a new daughter.”
“But why Brandish?” said Missy.
“Amy got adopted just after New Wave went public.” stated Assault. “They were in the spotlight during that time. Maybe they were the first cape family he thought of?”
“I guess that checks out?” conceded Dennis. “But that wouldn’t explain why Amy’s so afraid of that being public knowledge.”
“Has it occurred to you that she’s just uncomfortable being related to a villain?” said Assault, suddenly a little more serious. “Also, something like that always brings bad press, no matter what. Trust me on that.”
Dennis hummed, and left it be. He looked up at the whiteboard. Kaiser. Leet. Jack Slash. Butcher. Blasto.
“It’s gotta be one of those, right?” said Chris. “I can’t think of anyone else.”
“Any ideas, Daunty?” Assault asked, directed at the clueless hero, who stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.
“Uhh…” Dauntless paused for a moment. “How about Marquis?”
“The bone guy?” Sophia asked. “Why’s that?”
“I dunno, they look kinda similar?”
“That’s stupid.” replied Sophia.
“Yeah…” Dauntless said, dejected.
He didn’t even make it onto the board.
“Anyway, you guys oughta wrap it up now,” Assault explained. “There’s a meeting in five, we got sent to call you in. Hurry up or you’ll be late.”
The assorted wards scrambled to their feet, not wanting to be lectured for being tardy again.
“Wait, I gotta wipe down the whiteboard!” said Dennis.
“No time, just cover it up. It’ll still be here by the time the meeting’s over.”
“Alright, fine. Let’s get moving.” Dennis rushed out the door.
By the time Dennis got back to the room they’d had their debate in, it was almost dark outside. As afraid as he was of the Undersiders’ new cape, he didn’t need to know about the Deputy Director’s favorite bug facts.
He rushed into the room, hoping to finish up quickly so he could get home. But when he entered the room, the whiteboard was gone.
Dennis fled.
Hidden in the room’s closet, Assault grinned.