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Jeonghan can feel his shirt starting to stick to his shoulders. He stretches out one leg to try and get rid of the sweat on the back of his knees, but the photographer calls for a position change and he has to pull it back up, trying to stop himself from grimacing at the unpleasant feeling. Mingyu has his head resting on Jeonghan’s shoulder, and Jeonghan can hear the quiet grunt of pain he lets out from having to hold his position. His face is relaxed, but the position they are asked to hold has a considerable strain on both of their necks. Jeonghan can feel Seungcheol standing behind them, trying to support both of them by pressing a leg each into their backs, and he’s grateful for the movement which if it wasn’t there would’ve probably resulted in Jeonghan flopping onto the floor by now.

Photoshoots outside in summer aren’t anything new, and they’re shooting fairly late in the evening so the heat has subsided, but it’s still hot enough for Jeonghan to feel the stickiness on his arms.

“Great, hold that pose just a little more,” the photographer calls, and Jeonghan forces his face muscles to relax. It’s difficult to complain when the photographer is sweating so profusely his shirt has changed colour.

“My neck is about to fall off,” Mingyu grits out in a whisper and Jeonghan closes his eyes, trying not to laugh.

They stay in that position for another few shots until the photographer finally asks them to move so all of them are standing in a row. Jeonghan and Mingyu release audible sighs of relief that are heard by the staff nearby, and Mingyu laughs sheepishly when they give them some words of encouragement.

Jeonghan grabs Mingyu’s hand to help pull him up to his feet, but immediately feels a dull ache in his ankle when he stands. He quickly shifts his weight, carefully making sure his face doesn’t show anything. He’s confident that no one noticed, until he feels Seungcheol tap his shoulder lightly.

“Lean on me,” he whispers.

Jeonghan blinks. He looks up to see Seungcheol move his shoulder up and down, gesturing for Jeonghan to place his arm there. When Jeonghan just stares at him, Seungcheol nudges him again until he finally moves, settling his arm on his shoulder so he can share some of his weight. Some of the pressure is taken off his ankle, and he huffs out a small breath. He looks up again to nod at him in thanks, to which Seungcheol just smiles.

Something explodes in Jeonghan’s stomach.

He has to look away quickly. Ignoring the fast pace of his heart and the heat he can feel through his arm.

It’s 7:03 PM on a regular Thursday night when Jeonghan realises he’s in love with Seungcheol.

+++

The revelation is not as shocking as he expected. If he thinks about it, Seungcheol has always been someone Jeonghan trusts immensely, and someone who he has loved platonically for several years. It’s not too surprising that that love evolved into something romantic. Especially considering the amount of love Seungcheol has always shown him. So Jeonghan doesn’t want to think much has changed after this internal discovery of his, though it definitely makes him stare at him a lot more, to the point that Seungcheol starts giving him funny looks and Seungkwan has to wack him once to get his attention.

Truthfully speaking, loving Seungcheol romantically is fine and dandy. It doesn’t feel like these emotions are entirely new, and in retrospect Jeonghan can admit he must have been at least half in love with Seungcheol for a couple years now. So it’s not difficult to acknowledge. The problem now rather, is how Jeonghan is going to get his feelings across to him. He has a fair amount of confidence to say Seungcheol loves him too, but there’s no way Jeonghan’s going to be able to just rock up and tell him his feelings directly. He’s pretty sure he would die from embarrassment.

So Jeonghan decides to start subtly. If he’s right about Seungcheol loving him, it shouldn’t be too difficult for him to get the hint that Jeonghan returns those feelings. Seungcheol has always been good at reading the room, always cautious and observant when they’re working. It surprises Jeonghan when he can easily admit to himself how attractive he finds it when Seungcheol exerts his authority over them sometimes, though he would rather just die in a hole than say that out loud to someone. If Jeonghan can work this out strategically, it should be smooth sailing. If Seungcheol doesn’t realise anything, well, Jeonghan thinks that’s a challenge he’s willing to take on.

The first thing he does is try and sit closer by securing any spot next to Seungcheol. This gesture on its own will never be enough, Jeonghan knows that. It’s too subtle, too normal, and considering how many members there are, far too difficult to execute constantly. But it should be getting noticed at least, when more than once now, Jeonghan has asked someone to move over just so he could squeeze and sit between them and Seungcheol.

“Ugh, hyung,” Seokmin whines when Jeonghan asks him to give up the seat on a plane ride. “Why can’t you just sit behind me?”

“Because I want this seat.”

Seungcheol only looks amused at this, probably thinking Jeonghan is just being his usual mischievous self as him and a grumbling Seokmin exchange seats. And after a couple days of this, it becomes quite clear this tactic would take forever to have an effect. If anything, Seungcheol has started to brush it off even after Jeonghan had secured the spot beside him four times in a row that day.

So the next thing Jeonghan thinks of is giving him a gift. It’s an obvious and casual way to show his love, and something that everyone in their group does to each other. Jeonghan has always found it easier to express his affection to Seungcheol through giving objects rather than words, so this should be simple, though he is going to have to think hard on what would be special enough to make Seungcheol realise these gifts are being given romantically. It’s difficult to think of a romantic gift when the other person doesn’t hesitate to buy you expensive items which you voiced your desire out exactly one time for.

Wonwoo just looks at him from over his phone when Jeonghan laments this while lying on his bed.

“Why are you making me a part of this?”

“Oh, the more Seungcheol doesn’t notice, the more people I will be dragging in.”

“I don’t think threatening us is going to help you on your mission.”

“What do you mean threat? This is for love.”

Wonwoo shakes his head exasperatedly. “Your odd expressions of love surprise me constantly, Jeonghan.”

It’s completely coincidental when Jeonghan spots a cute pair of small hoop earrings in a shop window while he’s on his way back from dinner with Seungkwan. Seungcheol had just been complaining the day earlier that he had lost a pair, and though he acted like it wasn’t a big deal, Jeonghan knew they were earrings he had owned since pre-debut, and held a lot of sentimental value. Seungcheol wouldn’t be the type of person you would describe as being careful with where he places his belongings, and yet these earrings had always stayed with him. The ones Jeonghan is looking at now aren’t exactly the same, but he does wish he could give him something to bring some kind of comfort.

“They’re cute,” Seungkwan comments, peering at them from over Jeonghan’s shoulder.

“Mm.”

“For Seungcheol hyung?”

“Maybe.”

“He’d probably treat them like family treasures if you gave them to him,” Seungkwan says, snickering. “But I think you’re gonna need more to make him realise your feelings, hyung.”

Jeonghan pauses. He lifts his gaze to meet Seungkwan’s eyes in the window reflection while Seungkwan just grins back.

“You really think I wouldn’t notice what you’re doing?” He tuts, beckoning him to follow him into the store. “Even after all these years you still underestimate me.”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes, following him. “Hate to burst your bubble detective, but I wasn’t exactly trying to hide anything.”

“Either way it’s truly a wonder that he hasn’t picked up on it already. I overheard Wonwoo hyung ask him ‘how he’s doing these days’, and I think it just confused him more. So much for knowing us the best.”

Jeonghan snorts at that. He’s also touched that despite his reluctance, Wonwoo is trying to nudge Seungcheol in the right direction as subtly as possible.

He asks the clerk to see the earrings, and both him and Seungkwan agree they would be a perfect little gift.

“I’m not just getting these just to make him realise my feelings you know,” Jeonghan says quietly as the clerk disappears to grab the special gift box. “I really do want to get him something that comforts him.”

Seungkwan looks at him in alarm.

“Hyung, I know.” He leans in to give Jeonghan a side hug. “Sorry, I teased you too much.”

Jeonghan laughs lightly, embarrassed that he felt the need to clarify himself to Seungkwan of all people. Of course he knows that. But still, Jeonghan needed to make sure he knows he’s doing this for Seungcheol, more than him. Seungkwan pulls back a little to observe his face.

“Wow,” he says, the teasing tone back despite what he said literally ten seconds earlier. “You are like, super in love with him.”

Jeonghan kicks him out of the store.

He isn’t able to catch Seungcheol alone until a meeting two days later. The two were called in to discuss stage positions and schedule adjustments to make sure nothing clashed with hospital appointments, and after a lengthy talk that could have been over in one text message, Seungcheol asks Jeonghan to grab some lunch with him. Jeonghan agrees happily, Seungcheol giving him a slightly confused smile which seems to be making an appearance quite frequently these days. Neither of them are in the mood to be spotted in public, so they head to the company cafeteria.

“At least having both of us step out makes the choreo look more balanced,” Seungcheol says, sipping on his soup.

There’s hardly anyone else here, and the staff were happy to serve them generous portions. Jeonghan is already prepared to give some of his rice to Seungcheol.

“I guess,” he replies, reaching for a particularly tasty looking kimchi piece on Seungcheol’s plate which he lets Jeonghan take without protest. “Doesn’t change the fact that having our own little podium in the back is a little embarrassing.”

Seungcheol makes a noise of disagreement.

“I love it. It makes me feel important.”

“Likely thing for you to say.”

“Hey, me looking important and authoritative is something Carats like a lot, thank you very much.”

So do I, is what nearly leaves Jeonghan’s mouth if he hadn’t hurriedly taken a large mouthful of rice to shut himself up. He chews slowly so he can prevent anything that may come out too strong, just nodding along.

“It’s also nice to be up there with you. I wouldn’t ever want you to be hurt again, but it’s definitely more comfortable to have you with me.”

Jeonghan swallows, holding down the flutters in his stomach. “Of course it is,” he manages to say cheekily, making Seungcheol smile.

“You ground me, you know?”

He says it without meeting Jeonghan’s eyes, and Jeonghan is thankful for that because he’s pretty sure he would have just gone ahead and kissed him if he had looked at him while saying that.

Jeonghan making Seungcheol flustered is supposed to be what’s happening here, not the other way around, and Jeonghan curses at himself for how weak he is in the presence of him. As much as being careful and in control of his emotions is part of his job, it’s also something he has always excelled in, so it shocks him that Seungcheol can so easily slip past those barriers. Well, technically Jeonghan is the one letting him in but he doesn’t want to think too much about that otherwise he thinks he might turn into goop.

“Seungcheol-ah, I have something for you,” he squeezes out before he stares any longer at his mouth.

He rummages through his bag to pick out the small box, sliding it across the table, this time Jeonghan being the one unable to look at Seungcheol’s face. He nonchalantly returns to eating his meal, and thinks how the hell did he ever think gift giving was going to be easier when he’s so nervous now that he can’t even taste his jjigae. It’s hardly the first time he’s given Seungcheol something, and part of this is to get Seungcheol to realise his feelings anyway, but somehow it makes him want to flee the scene before seeing Seungcheol’s reaction.

Seungcheol makes a surprised noise as he takes the box into his hands, turning it around roughly. And the way he does it less carefully than Jeonghan would like, is what actually helps him return to his usual self. He sighs, reaching out a hand to grab Seungcheol’s wrist so he stops tossing it between his hands.

“Just open it, no need to fling it around.”

“I was just examining it!” He protests, but he’s grinning widely, clearly delighted to receive a random gift from Jeonghan of all people.

Jeonghan bites his lip to hold back his own smile, knowing that anything he shows right now is going to be overflowing with fondness. He ducks his head, nervously scratching the back of his neck as Seungcheol pops the box lid open.

“Oh,” he says quietly.

“They’re not exactly the same I know,” Jeonghan rushes in, needing to get a word in before Seungcheol reacts any further. “But I know how important those earrings were to you and I know you took good care of them so it’s just, you know, I thought it’d be nice–,”

“Jeonghan-ah,” Seungcheol stops his rambling, watching him with a smile.

Jeonghan snaps his mouth shut. “Sorry. Just a little embarrassed.”

“Yeah,” is all Seungcheol replies with.

He looks down at the earrings, still grinning from ear to ear as his cheeks turn slightly red. The joy he radiates is so palpable, so obvious, and Jeonghan pauses, watching him, wondering what exactly does Seungcheol like about him so much that it warrants a reaction like this. It makes his heart squeeze tightly, affection spreading warmly across his chest as he watches Seungcheol handle the earrings with delight. He’s so happy that it makes Jeonghan almost think maybe all this isn’t necessary; maybe he should just go ahead and tell him. If Seungcheol likes him this much, maybe all this really doesn’t matter. It almost makes him think his whole elaborate plan isn’t worth it.

“Thank you, Jeonghan-ah. This means so much to me. Fuck, you’re such a good friend.”

Almost.

+++

A couple of them stop by Jeonghan and Seungkwan’s apartment close to midnight just to grab a bit of dinner on the way back from a photoshoot. Their place was the closest for all of them, but none of them were keen to make an elaborate meal, not even Mingyu.

Joshua, Seungkwan and Seungcheol collapse on the couch as Jeonghan hands out instant ramen to each person, which Mingyu ultimately ends up gathering again to cook in one pot.

“I love you Mingyu,” Joshua calls, as Seungkwan echoes the statement.

Jeonghan sits at the table, releasing a long breath, not being bothered to take off his make-up and contemplating if sleeping with your make-up on is really so bad when they receive regular skin check ups.

“Jeonghan-ah, I’m off. Hyung’s not home today so I need to get to Kkuma,” Seungcheol calls. He groans loudly as he slides off the couch, patting Seungkwan’s head and giving Joshua a shoulder hug.

Jeonghan tries to hide the disappointment he feels, instead holding up a finger to signal him to wait as he groans too, getting up from his chair and heading to the fridge. A beautiful smell is already wafting in the kitchen, and Seungcheol looks at the pot of ramen sadly as he bids Mingyu goodbye.

“Hyung, you really sure you can’t have some?” Mingyu whines.

“Mingyu-yah, I am literally dying for some, but I know if I have even one mouthful I’m gonna end up here for another couple hours.”

“Seungcheol-ah, take this with you,” Jeonghan calls, digging out a plastic container with some leftover food.

He was planning to have it tomorrow morning, but there’s no way Jeonghan is letting Seungcheol leave without something to eat. It’s an odd action, not something that he usually does for him, so he’s hoping it should have some kind of effect.

“You made this?” Seungcheol is clearly skeptical, taking the container carefully as if it contains a bomb.

“Well, someone has to cook in this household and it’s not Seungkwan.”

Seungkwan shoots him a glare but can’t say anything to deny it.

“Are you purposefully giving this to me because it didn’t go well?”

“I’ll guess you’ll have to try it to find out.”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes. “If there’s something strange in here just tell me now.”

“Only my love,” Jeonghan sing-songs.

Seungkwan and Joshua shoot him a quick look from the couch. The tone has not gone unnoticed, and Seungcheol is also looking at Jeonghan with a brow raised.

They all do this, now and again. Be unnecessarily flirty and sometimes suggestive. It became less frequent after Seungkwan got jealous of Mingyu and Jeonghan doing it to Hansol, but there are times when they can’t help it. Just yesterday, Chan and Seokmin had started a skit involving them getting into a “lover’s quarrel” because Seokmin had flirted with both him and Mingu at the same time. So it’s not strange or out of character for Jeonghan to do so too, but it is when the target is Seungcheol, someone who would rather be an observer and not get involved. And even stranger considering he’s also giving him food that doesn’t happen often.

“Jeonghan,” he calls carefully.

Seungkwan visibly perks up on the couch. Joshua is also eyeing them. Jeonghan’s heart flutters in anticipation.

Surely–,

“Are you trying to apologise for something?”

The room goes silent.

“What?”

“Have you done something wrong? Is that why you’re being so nice to me?”

Jeonghan is grateful that the couch is behind Seungcheol, as Seungkwan is trying so hard to hold in his laugh that his eyes are about to bulge out of his skull. Both hands are clapped over his mouth while Joshua beside him has buried his face in the cushions to stay silent, gripping onto Seungkwan’s arm so tightly it has to hurt.

Mingyu is coughing repeatedly which sounds suspiciously close to a laugh, all the while Seungcheol is still looking at him for an answer.

A little bit of embarrassment flares up, and Jeonghan can’t help but glare at him a little.

“Take the damn dish, Seungcheol,” he says, and pushes a confused Seungcheol out of the house.

So, Seungcheol is much more dense than he thought, Jeonghan thinks as he listens to the chorus of people dying from laughter in the background. Well, not dense in the way that he doesn’t notice Jeonghan’s actions; he definitely thinks Jeonghan is being weird. But it doesn’t seem like Seungcheol is able to associate any of Jeonghan’s behaviour to something more than him being… Jeonghan. It’s infuriating to say the least, and although Jeonghan would never regret who he is, he is slightly resentful to his past self for becoming an obstacle for his current self’s love life.

At this rate, he doesn’t think much of what he had prepared is actually going to have any lasting effect, but if he doesn’t act quickly Seungcheol will start to think he’s stopped his antics, and by the time Jeonghan starts again he will be back to square one.

“I have a great idea, hyung. You could just tell him,” Seungkwan pipes in, the laugh still very evident in his tone. Joshua is still giggling beside him, and Mingyu is now crying, head on the counter.

“Or you could all be more helpful?”

Seungkwan barks out another laugh. “After that? Why must you make everything unnecessarily difficult? You know if you just told him, you two would be dating by now and all of us would be free from having to watch these absolutely top tier hilarious but also painful interactions.”

“Maybe, but you wouldn’t feel as fulfilled.”

“Oh, trust me when I say nothing about the relationship between you two would be fulfilling.”

Jeonghan feigns shock, gasping at him, which just makes Seungkwan sneer playfully and the other two join in.

+++

Touching Seungcheol more often is something Jeonghan had reserved for later as he thought it’d be too obvious. Both him and Seungcheol are very aware that Jeonghan finds it the hardest to express his affection towards him, and would prefer any kind of action to be as private as possible. Until recently it’s mostly been because he doesn’t want Seungcheol to make it a big deal, but he thinks now it may have been because he didn’t want anyone to notice how he felt.

However, after all the members have caught on to what Jeonghan is doing, and after Seungcheol has shown no signs of noticing his feelings, there will probably never be a more perfect time for him to move on to this tactic.

A tactic which has backfired spectacularly, as for the third time now he finds himself and Seungcheol simply holding hands as they sit and monitor themselves on screen. Jeonghan cannot focus at all when Seungcheol will absent-mindedly rub his thumb up and down his hand, showing no signs that he is letting go. Jeonghan wants to disappear when not just the members, but their dance team also glance at them more than once.

Jeonghan had just increased his touches a little more. A shoulder rub here, a butt tap there, even just touching his arm as a greeting every time they met. It was supposed to be the most obvious tactic, something that would surely get Seungcheol to start questioning Jeonghan’s weirdness a little more. Instead, Seungcheol would just grin at him, taking the opportunity to grab Jeonghan’s hand and just play with it. Fortunately or unfortunately, Jeonghan’s not too sure, his sitting-next-to-Seungcheol plan is now fully supported by the rest of the team, meaning Jeonghan and Seungcheol are constantly next to each other and the touching tactic has been working exceptionally well.

The video stops playing and Jeonghan sighs internally, knowing he’s definitely going to be the one who gets picked out for mistakes today.

“Okay, let’s go!” Soonyoung calls.

Jeonghan stands up, inevitably pulling Seungcheol up with him, and his heart jumps into his throat when Seungcheol interlaces their fingers once before letting go. He had thought this would work and Seungcheol would get nervous from all the touching, but so far all Jeonghan can feel is his love for Seungcheol growing larger and larger. This was not happening when he had first put his plan into action. This was not his plan. This was far from his plan, and now every time he meets eyes with Seungcheol across the room, his heart is doing fucking somersalts.

Seungcheol seems to have taken Jeonghan’s touching as permission to initiate even more affection from his side, and now every time they’re sitting out for the choreo, Seungcheol is reaching for his hand, even just a finger to squeeze and play with, and as embarrassing as it is that everyone can see what’s going on, Jeonghan doesn’t want to refuse.

Seungkwan catches him on his own between one of their breaks. “Hyung, whatever you’re doing, I don’t think it’s working.”

“Wow. Thanks for the great insight.”

“Maybe you overestimated yourself this time and you need to be more obvious.”

Jeonghan gives him a look. “One of the dancers keeps looking at me apologetically every time he has to hug Seungcheol for the choreo.”

Seungkwan cackles and bounds off when Hansol calls him over.

When Seungcheol returns, their blocking has changed and both of them are now placed at different sides of the room.

Jeonghan watches him, and wants to die in a hole when he finds himself longing for Seungcheol's hand in his.

Everyone is a lot more careful these days whenever they do choreography. As much as they want to always perfect their complex and tiring choreography, all of them will always place their health above anything else, which is why injuries or strains while dancing have become less of an occurrence. There are still those rare times it happens however, like now where Jeonghan had leaned back too much and couldn’t regain his balance, toppling back onto the floor. If he had pivoted, it would have been preventable, but Jeonghan knew doing so would put too much pressure on his ankle, which he wasn’t still completely trusting of.

He had braced himself for the blow, but he can’t help the small yelp he lets out when making contact with the floorboards, gathering the attention of the other members who instantly rush towards him.

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol calls worriedly, the first to be by his side. He gently places a hand on his back, helping Jeonghan sit up.

“Hyung, you okay?”

Jeonghan waves his hand dismissively at Mingyu who’s also crouched beside him, brows furrowed in worry.

“It’s okay, I’m okay. Just landed badly.”

“Bad landing was what hurt Seungcheol last time. Don’t wave it off, Jeonghan-ah,” Joshua says sternly.

Jeonghan pauses before nodding obediently. Mingyu and Seungkwan have always been the main worriers of their group, but ever since Seungcheol and Jeonghan both had to rest from their injuries, it seems to have extended to everyone else too. They all thought they knew what it means to age, and they all understood in theory how none of them would be able to move in the same way they did even just a mere 5 years ago, but Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s incidents seem to have made that thought more tangible. So Jeonghan understands where Joshua’s sternness is coming from.

“Sit out for a bit hyung,” Jihoon encourages. “You shouldn’t be moving so much in the first place. Don’t worry, we won’t leave you behind.”

Jeonghan scoffs lightly at that, gratefully grabbing Seungcheol’s arm to hoist himself up. It reminds him of the last time Seungcheol supported him like this, which reminds him that was the moment he realised he was in love, and despite the situation, it makes Jeonghan smile to himself. His right shoulder is definitely throbbing though, and he appreciates that Jihoon made an easier opening for him to accept a break.

“Sit with me, Seungcheol,” Jeonghan says, when Seungcheol turns back to the middle of the room after guiding him to his seat.

Seungcheol looks back startled, blinking rapidly.

“Rest with me,” Jeonghan tries again. It’s a lot easier to say after the first time. He pats the seat next to him, not breaking eye contact. “If I should be resting, so should you.”

Also, despite it all he very much likes the idea of Seungcheol being close, because Seungcheol would definitely let Jeonghan rest his head on his shoulder if he asked. Not that he’s going to initiate anything to that extent with everybody here. Or maybe he will. Probably not. Jeonghan is now rather lost on how he should be proceeding with his plan, but he can tell that he is finding it more and more difficult to hide his affection.

Mingyu impatiently shoves Seungcheol forward before he’s able to say anything.

“He’s right, hyung. The last thing we want is to worry about both of our grandpas.”

“Yah!” Seungcheol and Jeonghan say at the same time as Mingyu scurries off in laughter. But with some more encouragement from Seungkwan and a strict order from Soonyoung (who is getting impatient with how long it’s been since they stopped), Seungcheol settles down next to Jeonghan. It’s odd for him to accept sitting out without more of a fight, but Jeonghan understands why when he releases a breath as he stretches out his leg.

“Does it hurt?” He murmurs, so the others don’t hear him.

Seungcheol groans softly. “Definitely had better days.”

He leans back, head hitting the mirror as they both watch the others do their choreo. It is comforting, Jeonghan supposes, that both of them are able to sit out like this. As much as they all understand that dancing with an injury is one of the worst things you could do, it doesn’t prevent the slight guilt from being able to rest, as well as the anxiety that builds up in fear of being left behind. Having Seungcheol in the same boat definitely helps to ease Jeonghan’s nerves, and he can understand why Seungcheol has been so appreciative of his presence these last months.

There’s a sudden pressure on his arm, and Jeonghan looks to see Seungcheol still awake but head resting on his shoulder, his hand once again coming up to hold Jeonghan’s. Jeonghan isn’t sure if it’s his heart or the bass from the music that’s thumping inside him, as he lets Seungcheol stay there as they continue to watch.

“Shrug me off if I’m too heavy,” Seungcheol murmurs.

Jeonghan could have a broken arm and he’d still let Seungcheol do this to him.

“Stay. I’ll push you off when my arm starts to die and I can never move it again and therefore press charges against you.”

Seungcheol snorts. “I knew it. You’re only nice to me for my money.”

Jeonghan chuckles and glances at Seungcheol again. He’s overcome with the urge to brush away the hair fallen into his face, and debates if giving into it would be too obvious. Based on his experience so far, Jeonghan doesn’t think it would, and he feels a tinge of irritation.

Maybe Seungkwan is right. Maybe just telling him honestly might have been the best idea after all, and it’s time for him to start contemplating a straight up confession that just thinking about heats up his face.

Fortunately, another big chance arrives when Seungcheol is over at Jeonghan’s place again two days later, alone with him. Joshua and Seungkwan were supposed to join them for a quick lunch, but there had been a change in schedule that made them unavailable.

Well, that’s what Joshua had said in the group chat, but Jeonghan suspects this change in schedule may have actually been planned. The simple thumbs up that Seungkwan sends him individually is definitely evidence of that. But whatever it is, Jeonghan is grateful, as he’s able to freely ogle Seungcheol’s back as he moves around the kitchen. Him and Joshua had volunteered to do the cooking as they were the guests, and he still insisted he’d do it on his own. He’s wearing a loose tank top, which makes Jeonghan want to trail his hand down his spine, and he can’t stop staring at the way Seungcheol’s arm muscles move as he shifts items around on the kitchen counter. He’s concentrated, mouth in a slight pout that makes Jeonghan subconsciously lick his lips, and his shirt is loose enough that Jeonghan could just slip his hand under it, run it along his waist, his stomach, his back, his chest—,

Seungcheol turns around and Jeonghan immediately drops his gaze to his phone. He shakes his head, gripping his phone tightly as the thoughts in his head make his body warm. This is turning out to be one of the most torturous situations he’s been in. Which is saying something when he literally saw Seungcheol with his shirt off during dance practice yesterday. Jeonghan was too exhausted, and half of the team were also shirtless, which kinda minimises the sexiness of the situation.

There’s a sound of plates clattering around and then Seungcheol is carrying two plates to the table. He goes back and forth a couple times with the end result being cold noodles and a couple other small dishes.

“Can’t say it’s my best,” Seungcheol laughs.

“I promise I won’t be too judgmental,” Jeonghan replies with a smile.

They fall into comfortable silence as they eat. Jeonghan continues to look at his phone, scrolling through Seungkwan’s messages and his ideas that helped him and Hansol get together. Most of them only worked because Hansol is the one he’s dating, and Jeonghan thinks “complimenting his adventurous spirit” will not work for him, because this is not a job interview, and Hansol was head over heels for Seungkwan from the beginning.

“We could have just rescheduled,” Seungcheol says suddenly.

Jeonghan looks up to see Seungcheol watching him.

“Hm? This lunch?”

“Yeah. I’m sure the others are…,” he waves his hand around. “Up to something. We could have called them over if you wanted to eat with more of us.”

Jeonghan shrugs, looking back down at his phone.

“It’s okay. I’d rather just be here with you.”

There’s no reply, so Jeonghan looks up again to see Seungcheol has stopped all movement. He’s staring, brows pushed together slightly in confusion, the same kind that has been prevalent for a while, but now with an unmistakable expression of gears turning in his head.

Jeonghan widens his eyes.

There’s no way.

He didn’t even do anything.

There’s no way.

But Seungcheol’s gaze stays fixed on him, putting together all the pieces that Jeonghan has been giving him (or, recently, just shoving in his face) for the past few weeks. And they’re forming a shape. Turning into something that is going to change the trajectory of their lives.

“Wait,” Seungcheol says, voice slightly higher than usual.

Jeonghan stays silent.

“Holy shit.”

Seungcheol’s eyes are blown wide. Mouth falling open. Jeonghan continues to observe him wordlessly, his phone now resting on the table. He doesn’t avert his gaze, and just watches as Seungcheol’s cheeks start to turn red with realisation.

It’s silent for another beat before he speaks, “Are you in love with me?”

Jeonghan half expects some kind of congratulatory music to start playing.

“You’re fucking kidding,” he nearly shouts, shooting up from his chair and stepping back to the middle of the room, a hand in his hair.

Seungcheol startles at his movement, also standing up.

“What—,”

“Seriously? This is how you realise after,” Jeonghan looks at the date. “Two fucking weeks? Just as I’m about to think of some new ideas?”

Seungcheol gapes at him. “Ideas—, what? That’s why you were acting so differently? You were trying to make me realise your feelings?”

“Considering you already have feelings for me, I thought it’d go more smoothly. Now? Really? What did I even do?”

Seungcheol splutters. “What-, I-, why didn’t you just tell me like a normal person if you already knew I was in love with you?”

Despite the chaotic situation, actually having Seungcheol say his feelings out loud makes Jeonghan’s thoughts stutter to a stop, unable to say anything for a couple seconds. He shakes his head.

“I just,” he forces himself to say. “Wanted to see how long it takes.”

“Again, instead of just telling me like a normal person?”

The incredulousness in Seungcheol’s tone is making Jeonghan feel a little defensive now. They found out they both have feelings for each other, and yet Seungcheol is not acknowledging that part. Jeonghan would rather prefer they be kissing by this point.

“Listen, I only had one shot at doing this. Might as well make it fun. It is my first time being in love with you, you know.”

That shuts Seungcheol up. His face turns red and he opens his mouth a couple times in an attempt to say something, but eventually just looks to the ground, a hand on his face and shaking his head in disbelief.

They’re both just standing in the middle of the room now. Lunch abandoned as Seungcheol sorts out his thoughts and Jeonghan tries to calm himself down.

“I was,” Seungcheol starts eventually. “I was wondering what you were doing. You were acting strangely clingy and I thought maybe it was just one of those times. Sometimes something happens to you and rather than sharing it you just like to be with people, you know?”

Jeonghan blinks. “I do?”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol replies, still looking at the floor and oblivious to Jeonghan’s bewildered look. “Usually it’s Joshua or Mingyu, sometimes Seungkwan. This time it was me. Which hardly happens, so I just thought maybe you wanted some different comfort.”

This time it’s Jeonghan’s turn to shut up. He’d never really thought of himself as that kind of person, always being the one to be relied on and all. But when he thinks about who he would go to if something bothered him, it is the people Seungcheol just listed, and he’s shocked all over again that even while being in love with him, even while all of Jeonghan’s affection was directed towards him, Seungcheol had reached a conclusion that was something so kind. So considerate. So him.

Jeonghan closes his eyes, smiling.

“Well it wasn’t that,” he says quietly.

Seungcheol looks up. He sees Jeonghan’s expression and a small smirk appears on his face as he replies equally quietly, “No. I guess it wasn’t.”

Neither of them say anything, but Seungcheol straightens up when Jeonghan is now just watching him. The air has changed, and they both know it.

“I wanted you to know how much I wanted to be close to you.” Jeonghan takes a couple steps forward until he’s close enough to reach out and touch him. Seungcheol’s eyes follow his movement, never leaving his face. “Like this.”

Seungcheol licks his lips and flickers his gaze once at Jeonghan’s mouth. Fire erupts in his belly, and Jeonghan steps forward again, skin tingling when Seungcheol doesn’t step back. There’s so much desire in his eyes, and Jeonghan knows he is mirroring the look.

“Does that mean I can kiss you now?” Seungcheol asks quietly.

Jeonghan places his hand on Seungcheol’s arm, running it up lightly, slowly, watching the way Seungcheol swallows. His breathing becomes shallower, as does Jeonghan’s, but he continues to run his hand up until it reaches Seungcheol’s collar. He adjusts it gently, eye contact never breaking before he slides his hand to hold the back of his neck. He pulls forward, only slightly, but Seungcheol allows it to happen with zero restraint. His hand comes up to rest on Jeonghan’s hip, and Jeonghan nearly closes his eyes with how much want washes over him in that moment.

Their faces are close. Seungcheol can’t stop flickering his eyes to Jeonghan’s lips.

“Personally,” Jeonghan whispers. “I’d like to do more than kissing.”

“Fucking hell,” Seungcheol growls and closes the gap.

Kissing Seungcheol feels like fire. A fire that Jeonghan gladly walks into over and over again as Seungcheol grabs his legs and hoists him up on the table, and somewhere in the back of his mind Jeonghan reminds himself he needs to thank Seungkwan for insisting they get a large table that could easily fit six people. The hand on his hip moves to Jeonghan’s back so he gets pulled forward, Seungcheol spreading his knees apart as he pushes closer and licks into his mouth. Jeonghan gasps and moans embarrassingly loudly, bringing his arms around his shoulders and pulling Seungcheol to him with his legs until their chests are pressed together. Seungcheol’s other hand is moving up his leg, already slipping under Jeonghan’s loose shorts to grip his thigh tightly. Fire erupts from every point that Seungcheol touches, and when he groans into his mouth, the sound makes Jeonghan’s insides burn fiercely with lust.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jeonghan gasps, and it actually makes Seungcheol huff out a laugh.

Jeonghan can feel Seungcheol’s hands under his shirt, lifting it until he can place his bare hands on Jeonghan’s waist, and his legs involuntarily tighten around Seungcheol’s hips. Being pressed up so close, it’s fairly obvious they are both extremely aroused, and both of them groan loudly when Seungcheol shifts slightly for some friction. It’s delicious, and Jeonghan gasps as he digs one hand into Seungcheol’s shoulder to keep himself from crying out. Seungcheol shifts again. And again. And again. Each time harder until Jeonghan can’t stop the sounds that tumble out of his mouth, fingers digging into Seungcheol’s back and Seungcheol holding him so tight they couldn’t possibly press any closer. They’re gasping and moaning into each other’s mouths, desperation making their kisses sloppy, and Jeonghan’s heart is beating so fast it’s probably going to leave a mark on his chest.

“Seungcheol-ah,” Jeonghan all but whines. “Fuck, Seungcheol, this feels so good.”

“Jeonghan, fuck,” Seungcheol growls into his mouth. “Bedroom. Now.”

Jeonghan is being carried off before he can finish nodding. Their lips stay attached as Seungcheol lowers Jeonghan onto the bed, only releasing Jeonghan’s tongue to fling his shirt off. He wordlessly coaxes Jeonghan to take off his shirt too, Jeonghan obeying without question before he’s reaching for Seungcheol to get devoured again. It doesn’t take long until they’re both completely naked and tangled up in each other, Jeonghan hovering over Seungcheol this time, still breathing hard as he trails hot, open mouthed kisses down his neck. Seungcheol is holding the back of Jeonghan’s neck as he gives him more space, unable to take his eyes off him as he starts trailing downwards.

“How long-,” Seungcheol pants, gasping when Jeonghan licks his collarbone. “How long since you last had sex?”

“A good couple of years,” Jeonghan replies breathlessly, eyes flickering up and chasing the way Seungcheol licks his lips. “I don’t remember much about him.”

Seungcheol’s eyes become darker. He grabs Jeonghan’s face to pull him closer, giving him a searing kiss that elicits embarrassingly loud moans from both of them. Jeonghan doesn’t even realise Seungcheol has flipped them until he’s on his back and staring up into his eyes. The lust in his gaze makes him shiver.

“Good,” Seungcheol says, voice low and raspy. “Cause you’re gonna remember me.”

They lie in bed later, Seungcheol playing with Jeonghan’s hair. He tugs a little stronger once to get Jeonghan to face him, then presses a kiss to his lips. The kiss lingers, both of them still touching but not pushing further.

“Are you mad at me?” Jeonghan asks with a smile in his tone.

“Yeah, kinda,” Seungcheol replies back with a scoff. “Because we could have been having a lot more sex if you’d just told me earlier.”

Jeonghan hums against his lips. “Didn’t think of that.” He pulls back slightly. “Also, I’m not fully at fault here. I haven’t dropped that many hints before in my life and it still took you this long.”

“Don’t you dare turn this on me.” Seungcheol nips at his neck playfully. Jeonghan squirms, laughing in his hold.

“How could it be so difficult to figure out what I was doing? I thought you were our omniscient leader,” Jeonghan teases.

Seungcheol’s hand comes up to playfully squeeze his cheek. He smiles, dimples on full display before leaning forward to kiss him tenderly. Already, Jeonghan is addicted to the way their lips feel when they slot together, the way Seungcheol is slightly sloppy, the way he caresses his jaw.

When Jeonghan opens his eyes, Seungcheol is looking back with the gentlest expression. He strokes Jeonghan’s face once.

“I guess I couldn’t imagine you ever returning my feelings,” he says quietly.

“That’s…,” Jeonghan trails off, brows furrowed slightly. “Why not?”

“It’s embarrassing, don’t worry about it.”

“Seungcheol-ah.”

Seungcheol averts his gaze, playing with Jeonghan’s hair again. “I just, you know.”

“No I don’t.”

His ears turn red, eyes looking everywhere but Jeonghan’s face.

He takes a breath.

“I love you too much.”

As a popular idol group, receiving and giving love is a norm for all of them. Jeonghan has come across countless types of love and affection that is given to him; something that he accepts with the same love and a little bit of disbelief. The disbelief stemming from his memories of when they were rookies, completely unknown to the outside world and constantly afraid that any love they received was temporary. It’s always been difficult for them to really understand how many people actually know and recognise them, love and cherish them for who they are, and it has taken a long time for them all to become used to their popularity. To become used to accepting every ounce of love thrown at them even when they think they don’t deserve it.

By now, Jeonghan thought he had probably received enough love to last for the rest of his career.

Enough love to last him a lifetime.

And yet, now, a single statement from Seungcheol has outweighed it.

Jeonghan’s shocked silence lasts long enough that Seungcheol no longer looks embarrassed.

“You have no idea how much of an effect you have on me,” he continues, laughing like he’s making fun of himself. “I’m extremely in love with you.”

There’s so much Jeonghan wants to say to that. Like how Jeonghan thinks he might have been in love with him for a much longer time than Seungcheol thinks. Or how often he thinks about touching and kissing him. Or how insane Jeonghan would sound if he told him every time Seungcheol says his name he burns the moment into his brain.

Jeonghan can’t fathom how Seungcheol doesn’t see him as anything but a lovesick fool, but he thinks that’s not important right now. They can talk about it later. They have a lifetime together.

So instead he leans upwards, catching his lips for a long kiss.

“Would you believe me if I said the same thing about you?”

Seungcheol pauses, and Jeonghan becomes anxious for a moment.

But then he grins brightly, leaning forward to give him a peck.

“Actually, after everything that’s happened, I think I would.”