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Dinesh snuggled up to Gilfoyle like usual, but then slowly sat up and faced him.
Gilfoyle frowned. “Oh no. You want to talk, don’t you?”
Dinesh glared. “I hate that that’s your reaction. Right out of the gate.”
“You told me that you think the best thing about our relationship is that anytime you come and tap me on the shoulder, we’ll fuck. And we never talk about any of it. You said it was a lifelong fantasy,” he said.
“I know what I said. But that was eight months ago and now we’re...still together. And that’s weird. But, the never talking makes it weirder.”
“We talk constantly. I’m your co-CTO and you’re only friend,” Gilfoyle said.
“Jared told me that the other night he and Richard stayed up all night just talking about the meaning of life and the nature of the universe.”
Gilfoyle snorted. “Then we should mock them. Because that’s what we’re good at. And because they deserve it.”
Dinesh sighed. “I know and normally I love talking about how uncool they are, but I’m worried he’s right in this case. We never talk about real stuff.”
Gilfoyle laughed. “That’s because only teenagers talk about ‘real stuff.’ News flash: it’s not real stuff. Every day we argue about code and discuss Battlestar Galactica. Why would we need to throw in superfluous stuff like what happens when you die or whatever you think counts as real stuff.”
“Well, I’d like to at least know the basic stuff like what you think of religion.”
“It’s literally tattooed on my body.”
“Okay, that was a bad example,” Dinesh said. “But, I’d like to know something real. Why do you hate your mom?” He watched Gilfoyle, trying to read his expression.
After a while, he said, “I mean, unless it is only sex and then...”
“You’re the only person I really talk to. I thought that was clear. You’re the one who wanted it to only be about sex. You didn’t just say it was the best thing about our relationship. You said it was the only good thing about our relationship. Do you even remember that?” Gilfoyle asked.
“I-- I’m sure I didn’t mean that,” Dinesh said.
“I don’t care that you said it. I thought it was hot that we’d slip into your room and I’d blow you and we wouldn’t talk in that moment. But, we still talk all day long the rest of the time.”
“Not about real--”
“We don’t have to make a big deal about sharing our feelings. We know each other,” Gilfoyle said.
“I guess,” Dinesh said.
“I hate my mom because she intentionally had me sent to juvie just to teach me a lesson,” Gilfoyle said.
“Oh,” Dinesh said.
“And I think as soon as you get over the novelty of actually having someone who wants to sleep with you, you will probably...”
Dinesh frowned. “Probably what?”
“This isn’t me being insecure. You’ve made it clear you don’t see this as a legitimate relationship.” When he saw the way Dinesh was looking at him, he said, “Which is fine with me.”
After a second, Dinesh said, “That’s just stuff I say. Because it’s so weird that I’m with you and you’re Gilfoyle and that should be gross and terrible.”
Gilfoyle laughed. “I really love you,” he said, petting Dinesh’s hair.
Dinesh furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“I know I shouldn’t have said that and it’s going to ruin this random hate sex with a rival coworker vibe we’ve been cultivating, but I really do,” Gilfoyle said. “It’s been hard to keep in.”
Dinesh wasn’t sure what to say so he finally settled on, “This has been a very weird conversation.”
“When did you find out you were on the autism spectrum?” Gilfoyle asked.
Dinesh blinked and said, “And getting weirder by the second.”
“I’m trying to do real talk. I’ve never done it without the benefit of acid before. Which we should definitely do, by the way. If you really want to get closer.”
Dinesh kissed him and then said, “It was in college. I was ignoring a lot of stuff and then things got hard and I couldn’t ignore it all anymore and I got diagnosed. God, I hate this. I hate talking about real stuff.”
Gilfoyle grinned. “Yeah. It’s terrible.”
“I’m sorry I asked why you hate your mom. I shouldn’t have gone there.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t mind. And if you ever want to talk about ways that I’d like to murder her...”
Dinesh laughed and said, “Wouldn’t you just go right to fire? That’s pretty much your default for when you want to murder people.”
“I guess it is,” Gilfoyle said. He squeezed Dinesh and said, “See? You know me.”
Dinesh nuzzled him and said, “Yeah. That’s a relief.”
“We don’t have to turn into Jared to talk about stuff. You recently told me that you have a 90% finished Stanford medical school application saved because you’re so terrified of disappointing your mother.”
“I did?” Dinesh asked.
“That came up while we were watching Cheers. It was a tangent from a conversation that started off being about whether or not Sam should’ve gone down on Diane right away.”
Dinesh kept nuzzling against Gilfoyle and let him pet his hair. After a while, he softly asked, “Is it weird that I haven’t said ‘I love you’ back?”
“No,” Gilfoyle said. “Take your time.”