Chapter Text
| Current mood: |  crazy |
| Entry tags: | "a thousand touches", "a thousand whispers", rating: nc-17, sam/dean |
A Thousand Whispers, 01/04, [NC-17], Sam/Dean
Title: A Thousand Whispers 01/04
Authors: 
Charlotte and Miss. Brie
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating/Warnings: NC-17,
Disclaimer: Kripke's boys, not ours, even if we want them to be.
Summary: Sam and Dean from "A Thousand Touches" are back in this sequel. Time has passed, the boys are still hunting together and growing impossibly closer. An accident changes things for both of them bringing about challenges and feelings they'd never thought they'd face.
They call me Dean. Just Dean, no nick names or short cuts, and yeah I prefer it that way. I'm the oldest. I have a little brother named Sam. He's kind of my world. Maybe even more than that but I've always had problems when it comes to defining what we are.
A few years ago my dad had this idea to send Sam to some special school because he didn't talk. But I knew my brother wasn't "special" not in that way so we left. I guess that's probably where things changed. Or began to. But if you believe my dad it's been happening for a long time. I don't believe in fate or any of that crap but if it did exist, I guess you could say Sam and I had one. A fate. Destined to lead to each and every moment we lived through. It's pretty worth it.
Don't get me wrong though. As much as I love my brother and the world we call ours, it's not always easy living with a person who's just barely started talking after an entire life of silence. There's a pretty big selection of misunderstandings and moments where I wish I could just invade his mind so I knew exactly what was going through it. I've learned things over the years though. I'd say I know Sam pretty well, better than anyone else even. And he is the reason we fixed our relationship with our father, because I'm pretty sure if I had my way we'd never talk to him again. Or I'd never talk to him and Sam would never... kinda whisper and write notes to him. He's getting there though, Sam, with the talking thing. I'm pretty proud of him for trying.
See, this thing between Sam and me... it keeps me going. Makes me human. Connects me to this world when all the supernatural crap we hunt threatens to pull me away. Sam's my brother, my lover, the most important person. And I don't know what I would do if I had to live without him.
Something was chasing them. Or more specifically, something was chasing Sam and Dean was desperately trying to catch up. But they were too far ahead and no matter how quick Dean moved it was too late. His eyes widened as the creature leaped on Sam's back and he watched his brother go down. "Sam!" Dean yelled, sitting up in the mattress so fast he caused to entire bed to shift, chest rising and falling with heavy pants or shocked air. The image played instantly on repeat in Dean's mind and he gasped, fingers curling in the bed sheets.
Sam's body shot up off the bed, arms shoving at the sheets that were holding him down. Dean. It hardly took him a moment to orient himself and have his arms wrapped around Dean's shoulders. Pressing his hand flat against his brother's chest he rubbed gently, "M'here," Sam whispered as he leaned in to rest his chin on Dean's shoulder. He hated when Dean had nightmares, nothing felt worse than the sensation of Dean tense and shivering against Sam's chest.
"God," Dean panted heavily and whirled on the bed, pressing Sam hard down onto the mattress and slamming their lips together. He sucked in the comfort from Sam's heat beneath him, mouths gliding together in a familiar slide. "Sammy..." he murmured into the kiss, dragging his hands along his brother's side just to ensure he really was okay. That dream still played in his mind, haunting and whispering to him like a threat. His body was still shaking softly and he pressed harder down into Sam, knowing his lover instincts would kick in and sense his need to be comforted.
Sam's heart ached for his brother as his hands moved over Dean's back, soothing, then gripping him hard. "S'okay," Sam murmured against soft, wet lips. He could feel Dean's body shaking as the fear from his dream drained slowly out of his body. Wrapping his body around Dean's, arms, legs capturing his brother's; Sam did what he loved more than anything. Lips moving against Dean's he used his body to comfort Dean, reassure him, love him.
After several long moments, once his heart had returned to normal and his pulse evened out, Dean rolled off his brother. "Sorry," he sighed and pulled Sam into him, brushing soft kisses along his jaw. "I shouldn't have smashed you down like that," he dragged his hand through Sam's hair, pulling back enough to meet his brother's eyes. "You good?"
Smiling, Sam pressed his palm flat against Dean's chest right over his heart. I love you. As he sank into Dean's side he could sense the tension even as it left his brother's body. "Nightmare?" His lips brushed the bottom of Dean's ear, arms tightening its hold on his brother's body.
Dean's eyes fluttered slightly, small smile on his face. "Yeah," he sighed and melted his body into Sam's, lips brushing together. "The one where the creature was chasing you and I couldn't get to you in time..." Dean settled his head on Sam's shoulder and pulled in a quick long full of familiar scent.
"You're always in time," Sam murmured. His brother had never, would never let him down. It was just the way things between them worked; they took care of each other, had each other's backs. Sam pressed his lips to Dean's hair, wrinkling his nose. "Crunchy," he whispered and slithered down so he could nuzzle against Dean's cheek. He could feel Dean settling back into the mattress, his muscles relaxing again. Sam sighed happily and rubbed Dean's chest slowly, small circles.
"Sammy..." Dean shifted up into the touch, the lingering wisps of fear and worry all but disappearing. "I'll never let anything bad happen to you," he reached up cup Sam's cheek and let his eyes fall closed, small smile on his lips. "Go back to sleep. I'm okay now," he insisted softly and hooked his arm around Sam to press him close.
The nightmares had been coming with increasing frequency and Sam found himself wondering, sometimes, if there was more to it than Dean told him. The way Dean woke up, terrified, checking Sam's body like he was searching for wounds, signs on injury - but it was more than that. There was a desperation to Dean's touch that made Sam's heart ache. His fingers curled around his brother's neck, the gentle flutter of Dean's pulse comforting in the dark room.
"We need a hunt," Dean declared the moment he entered the motel room, carrying the bags of food over and spreading them out on the table. He went through the actions like second nature, pulling open the container with Sam's chicken salad and sliding it toward him, coke joining in a moment later with a plastic fork. After so many years it was almost as natural as breathing, taking care of Sam before addressing his own needs. Once Sam's meal was spread out before him Dean dropped into his seat and pulled up the styrofoam container with his burger and fries in it. "We're in a dry spell, did your search turn up anything?" Dean asked around a mouthful of burger, legs extending to rest against Sam's casually.
Sam held his fork between his teeth and reach out with both hands to turn the lap top screen toward Dean. He chewed slowly while Dean read then gestured with his fork. "Five people, strange..." Sam mumbled around his food. Snatching his pen up off the table he scribbled in his notebook and slid it toward Dean. Close to here. 2 hr drive maybe? 2 people dead, other 3 strange - bite marks. Might be something big. Sam shrugged as he watched Dean's eyes get to the bottom of the page. Sniffing, Sam's eyes moved back to his salad and he stabbed at it with his fork trying to pick out the chicken. "Maybe?" He slid the fork into his mouth again rocking his leg against Dean's.
"Sounds promising," Dean nodded and leaned forward to peer at the laptop screen. "Okay we'll head there after we eat," Dean wet his lips, pulling in the lingering taste of ketchup before lifting his burger once more. He lifted his eyes to Sam and smiled, shifting in his seat to hook his leg around Sam's. "That is unless you can think of any reason we should wait, maybe there's something else you'd like to do this after?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, smirk curving his lip up.
Still chewing, Sam lifted his eyes without moving his head and locked his gaze on Dean's. His nose twitched and then his lips curved into a crooked smile. "Maybe?" There was always something he could think of doing, touching his brother, soaking up Dean like a sponge; his scene, heat, sweat, taste, everything. Dean was the cord that tethered Sam to the world.
Wetting his lips Dean polished off his burger and pinched a handful of fries, bringing them to his lips and mumbling around them, "well then, maybe we'll wait to head out tomorrow. Probably better after a full night rest anyway." He grinned around the food in his mouth and reached out for his shake, pulling from the straw with a hard suck. They were quiet while they finished their individual meals, falling in the familiar comfort of each other's presence. As he finished Dean stood, hand hovering by Sam's empty food container until his brother nodded and he carried both to the trash. "Wanna watch a movie? Lay together on the bed?" Dean shrugged a shoulder behind him, gesturing to the mattress as he toed his shoes off.
Nodding, Sam worried his bottom lip with his teeth. Even if Dean hadn't asked, had just moved to the bed to lie down, Sam wouldn't have been far behind. Sam was never far away from Dean by choice. When Dean asked, there was usually a reason, Sam's brow furrowed as he thought about it. The nightmares had been wearing his brother down a little. Dean's face was more drawn than usual and he looked tired. Standing, Sam crossed his arms to grab his t-shirt and tug it off as he slipped out of his boots. Opening the small fridge Sam grabbed a beer and opened it then padded over to the bed and lay down, resting the bottle on his chest.
Dean pulled off his own shirt, tossing it across the room to his duffel bag before kicking out of his jeans and sending them to join his. Rolling his shoulders Dean crawled onto the bed and slid under the sheets and blanket, sliding close to Sam and reaching out to snag the beer. He chuckled softly as he popped it open and took a drink before placing it back in Sam's hand. Settling back on his pillow he extended his arm for Sam to settle against. "Probably only shit on," Dean mumbled as his free hand curled around the remote and lifting it to point at the TV.
Sam moved the bottle over the bare skin of his chest; it was cool, the condensation left a trail down the center of his chest. The muscles in his abs clenched under the cold glass and Sam ran the bottle along the waistband of his jeans. He felt Dean's eyes on him. "Dean?"
"You... hot?" Dean asked softly, wetting his lips as he traced the line of liquid with his eyes then reached out to trail his fingers down the path. He smiled as his eyes lifted to Sam's face, searching his expression for whatever it was that Sam would be saying if he were more accustomed to words. "What's going on in that brain of yours?" He murmured, not expecting much of an answer. It was something he asked just because, knowing Sam knew he didn't necessarily need an actual answer. Sometimes actions did speak louder than words after all.
"Mhmmm," Sam murmured. Hot and hoping to distract Dean, tired him out and maybe get him to sleep peacefully through the entire night. Smiling, Sam arched his spine slightly and felt a drop of water run into his belly button. "Y'okay?" His eyebrows rose slightly as a flush crept up his neck. Letting his head fall to the side Sam blinked at Dean and blew the hair out of his eyes.
"M'fine," Dean insisted and slid down the mattress enough to press his lips into Sam's side, sucking kisses up the warm flesh. A small smile curved up his features as he dipped forward to suck Sam's nipple into his mouth, worked it gently beneath his teeth. "Gonna tire me out Sammy?" He murmured against the skin, fingers flattening out over the cool liquid along his brother's abs and rubbing along the waist band. "Maybe I'll just lay back and let you do the work," Dean chuckled softly and sucked on a patch of flesh beneath Sam's nipple, bruising the skin.
Their whole lives, the basis of their communication - them it was all based on touch and marks. The way Dean's lips moved on his body said what Sam needed to know. Stretching his arm out behind him Sam felt around until the bottle hit the nightstand. When he pulled his arm back he looked up at his brother's eyes.
Silence
Sam opened his mouth but sometimes, still nothing would come to him. Silent for so long, spoiled by Dean's unerring interpretation of his touches, his expressions - it was as though Sam had forgotten how to use his voice. Then, the one thing that Sam could always say, "Dean..."
Dean popped the button on his brother's jeans, tugging the zipper down and hooking his fingers under the material. Sam lifted his hips easily to remove the fabric and in minutes they were both naked, Dean settled between his brothers legs. "I need you," Dean murmured against Sam's lips, hand extending to take the bottle from his grasp. There were moments between them that Sam needed Dean, for understanding and comfort. Then there were the times Dean needed Sam, though he could never understand what it was exactly that sparked so desperately in him. He rolled his hips forward to explain how intense that need was without words.
Sam's hands slid up to Dean's cheeks then curled around the back of his brother's neck. The thing about touching Dean was that Sam could lose himself in it, the smooth skin, Sam's cock was already warm and full, the simple pleasure of lying against Dean's naked body was enough. God. Nothing ever left Sam as breathless as the look on Dean's face, and being needed. And then, they were kissing. Their lips were together, sliding, burning up and Sam couldn't help the way his hips rolled up off the bed and collided with his brother's.
They both shared this pleasure, the moments when they were both silent simply by choice. Dean had long since stopped asking questions during this time, choosing to let them both simply enjoy the feel of each other. Pulling back slightly he slicked his fingers and set the bottle to the side, nudging Sam's legs further apart and slipping one finger in. Within moments he added a second and leaned forward to cover Sam's mouth with his own once more. Sam's heat was familiar and still just as intoxicating, swirling that mixture of want and need up in him until he couldn't resist and added a third finger, preparing Sam with slow thrusts and the gentle spreading of his fingers.
The way Dean's fingers moved within him, keeping rhythm with the tangle of their tongues sparked up the ever-present desire in Sam's heart. They moved together fluidly, hips rolling, fingers sliding, breathing the same air. Sam's soft moans were swallowed up in Dean's mouth. It was one of the times when such peace ran over Sam, gentle love-making, peaceful touches increasing slowly as the want built in their bodies. "Please..." the only word Sam would utter, the word that teased a low moan from his brother's mouth.
"Sammy," he murmured and pulled back enough to slick himself, cleaning his hand on the sheet before he shifted back over his brother. Dean's eyes fluttered as he slid inside Sam, encased by his muscles and heat. Dean hooked his arms under Sam's, fingers curling into his shoulders so their bodies lay flushed together. As his lips fell over Sam's once more, strong legs wrapped around his waist and Dean began a gentle rock, just enough to create the swirl of friction. He gasped into Sam's mouth, tongue snaking forward to swirl around the warmth inside Sam's mouth, familiar and pleasant.
Shifting, spine arching up into his brother's sweat-slick body Sam sucked hard on his brother's tongue. Connected to Dean everywhere, it felt right, more right than anything else ever had in their lives. He matched Dean's rhythm, rocking up slowly against Dean's hard body, sinking Dean's cock deeper into him. Closer Kissing his way down Dean's neck Sam latched on to his brother's shoulder, sucking gently in time with their thrusts.
Dean moaned low in his chest, exhaling roughly through his nose as he quickened his pace. He could spend forever rocking like this, connected so thoroughly he lost sight of what made them two different people. He slid a hand roughly between them, pressing a hand hard into Sam's heart I love you. Countless minutes of their gentle rocking finally began to drive Dean crazy and he surged back, pulling all the way out to slam roughly forward. Dean drank in the mixture of emotions playing on his brother's features, forcing his eyes to remain open as he continued one quick thrust following the next.
He loved to see Dean's eyes when they moved like this together, so black and shining and so full of emotion. Sam's release was building hard and fast within him, edged closer by each thrust. His hard flesh was trapped between their bodies, the friction heating his flesh and burning into his soul. "D..Dean..." Dean knew just how to move his body against Sam's, the ways to excite all Sam's nerves, tease him to the edge and pull him back. But not tonight, tightening his legs around his brother's muscular body, Sam tensed as his orgasm moved up through his body. It started small - a flame - and caught quickly flooding through his system like liquid fire. Sam's release pulsed out between their bodies, slick and hot, his lips were locked with his brothers once more - their mouths wet and frantic.
With the clench of muscles around his hard flesh, the explosion of heart between their bodies, Dean found himself loosing grips. His body stilled, mouth moving hard over Sam's as his release worked through him. Dean gasped softly into the kiss, overcome for a moment with the intensity. It happened sometimes, when Dean felt too small to take on the weight of the world, where he clung to his brother because it seemed to be the only way to tether himself to this world. He dropped his head to bury in Sam's neck, hips gently rocking with the lingering flare of his orgasm. He sucked in a sharp lung full of Sam's scent, clenching his eyes shut against the slight shake of his body.
Wrapping his arms tight around his brother Sam murmured quietly against his brother's hair. It didn't matter that he wasn't actually saying words, just sounds, just letting Dean know he was there. Dean loved the sound of his voice - he would never force Sam to speak - never ask for it - but Sam knew what it meant and how it made Dean's world a little less lonely, a little less silent. "Love you," he whispered. His muscles were still twitching as his heart slowed back to a steady thud in his chest - almost the same rhythm as Dean's.
"Love you," Dean returned and gently pulled out of him. Within moments he had the cooling come wiped from both their bodies and was once more curled on the bed, tugging Sam's body into him. Tomorrow their life would resume, they would head to their next hunt, would live the life they knew so well. Until then, Dean would cling to him and hold him close, drinking in his comfort and love.
"Stars," Sam pointed sleepily at the space between the Motel room curtains. The dark blue sky was so clear it almost appeared to be overrun with stars. Sam didn't think that Dean took enough moments to simply look around and enjoy things. The older Winchester worried so much sometimes that Sam wished he could just take the worry away, be the one who was responsible for everything for a while.
Dean shifted to look out the window and nodded slowly, "clear night. It's..." Dean shrugged and rolled back to his brother, flopping down heavily on the pillow. "They're just stars. We've seen them practically every night of our lives." He chuckled softly and closed his eyes.
Clearing his throat quietly, Sam tensed a little, like he always did when he was going to try and say something that took more than a couple of words. "My eyes..." Rolling onto Dean he stared down at his closed eyes know that eventually Dean would look at him.
With a soft sigh Dean peeled his eyes open and stared up at his brother. "What?" He asked softly, hands reaching up to smooth Sam's hair back along his head.
"You," he poked a finger gently at Dean's chest, "see my eyes practically every night." His lips twitched into a grin. "You keep lookin," he whispered roughly, "you still like 'em." Satisfied, he grinned. He cleared his throat again and wrinkled his nose.
Dean chuckled and leaned up to press a kiss to Sam's lips, dropping back and flicking Sam's nose softly with his finger. "Yeah well I'm in love with you. I'm not in love with the stars. So it stands to reason that I would spend more time staring at you. Plus you change. Whenever the stars do I don't notice," Dean nodded, grinning brightly at his logic.
Rolling his eyes Sam pressed his hand to Dean's chest and snuggled in beside him. "Crazy," he murmured as he closed his eyes.
Once more Dean let his eyes fall closed, small chuckle leaving his lips. "Yeah well you love me so be careful who you call crazy," he mumbled around the tug of sleep and sighed softly.
Sam fucking hated Ghouls. They were nasty-assed, miserable, violent, sneaky sons of bitches and the fact that Sam and Dean were hunting one was quite distasteful to Sam. Low grumbling sounds drifted across the mausoleum floor through the gates on the door. Oh yeah. Ghouls could turn into hyenas. Sam hated Ghouls. The unmistakable sounds of flesh being torn from a freshly interned body had Sam turning to Dean in the moonlight with his mouth twisted into a silent, disgusted expression. Shaking his head he tugged on Dean's arm, screw it, let some other hunter come along and kill the damn thing. It was only eating dead people. Shuddering Sam pressed up against Dean's back. The strangest feeling was slithering down his spine; a sort of cold dread was threading it's way through his body. He tugged harder on Dean's arm hoping his eyes would show how much he wanted them to go. "Dean," he whispered, "let's go."
"C'mon, you can do this," Dean insisted, turning to Sam slightly. "We'll get in, finish it off and get out. Seriously Sam, we'll be out of here in no time," he smiled reassuringly at his brother and cupped the back of his neck softly. "You wanna wait in the car? I can get this one if it would be easier." Dean's eyes shifted toward the mostly disgusting noises coming from not that far away. He could at least understand Sam's hesitation.
Sam tilted his head, eyes fully of worry. There was something different about this, it didn't feel right. Then again, there was no way he was going to leave Dean alone. Sighing, he bumped his fist against Dean's chest, be careful. Sam pushed up to a crouch and pulled out the longer silver blade he was carrying. Even more awesome than the fact that these were Ghouls was that they could only be killed by removing or smashing their heads. Sam foresaw a lot more laundry in his future. Frowning he nodded at Dean to let him know he was ready.
They moved forward as quietly as possible. In theory the Ghouls shouldn't be that interested in harming them, not until they became a threat at least. Then it was understandable that the creatures would fight in defence for their existence. As they slid inside the doorway Dean's face scrunched up in disgust. Nothing like two disgusting creatures feeding on dead flesh to churn your stomach. His eyes darted to Sam, making sure he had adjusted to the dim light of the mausoleum, surveyed the environment, was ready for the attack. Sam nodded shortly at him and Dean rocked back to bump their shoulders together before they broke apart and snuck around the creatures, circling in for the best angle of attack.
Their eyes met once over the heads of the Ghouls and Sam and Dean both launched toward the creatures. Sam slammed into the back of the smaller of the two Ghouls, knife at-the-ready only to be flipped forward over its shoulder. All the breath shot out of Sam's body and he snapped his arm back to pull the creatures legs out from under it. In the time it took to fall against the cold marble floor Sam's eyes snapped over to Dean and saw him locked in battle with the larger Ghoul. Leaping up to a crouch Sam propelled himself forward and slammed his body down on the ghouls bringing the knife up to it's throat. One strong slash at the Ghouls disgusting flesh and it's head was partially several from its body. Foul smelling, putrid black blood splattered up over Sam's jacket, bubbling and spurting. He sliced frantically at the neck of the creature as it feebly tried to buck him off.
Dean lurched against the Ghoul, stumbling slightly as a large arm connected with his chest. He caught a glimpse of his brother's blade piercing the other creatures flesh and couldn't help the swell of pride, Sam was a damn fine hunter, despite his reservations about taking this hunt. A gnarled hand curled hard against his throat and Dean's eyes widened, arm swinging out to connect the blade in his grasp into the creatures flesh. It wasn't hard enough to severe, only made the thing more pissed then it had been. His eyes darted over the Ghouls ghost as it lifted him from the ground, watching Sam for a split second before he was sent hurtling fast and hard across the room. Something connected with a sharp crack along his skull and Dean groaned before everything went black, body sagging down into a heap along cold cement.
Sam's last strike severed the Ghouls head and he lurched up off its body and staggered a few steps trying to catch his breath. He saw his brother's body in a crumpled heap and yelled out "Dean!" Heading straight for the Ghoul at the exact same moment as is it lurched to its feet to resume its attack on Dean. Arm flying up, knife at the ready, Sam closed the distance to the Ghoul with lightening speed stabbing his blade straight through its neck. Adrenaline surged through his body, spurred on by his worry for his brother. Dean. Anger like he had never felt flooded through his body and he yanked the knife back out of its disgusting flesh and swung his arm wide to slash back across the wound that his brother had started. The creatures head rolled back and tore off its body and before it's body even hit the ground Sam had sunk to his knees at Dean's side.
Breathing, Dean was breathing. Sam's hands moved down his brother's arms, over his chest, checked carefully for deformities along the back of Dean's neck. "Dean?" Sam's voice was rough, quite, fingers curling into Dean's firm shoulders. Dean's breathing was shallow and Sam could see a pool of dark blood creeping out from under his brother's head. God. Sam's fingers rubbed at Dean's chest trying to wake him. "Dean..." he choked on a whimper.
"Wha..." Dean's eyes fluttered. Darkness. Frowning he reached out for his brother, touching his arm after a few moments of searching. "Sam? What happened? Are they dead?" The words sounded slightly slurred even to his own ears and he struggled up, body aching slightly at the movements. "Fuck, ow," he groaned and rubbed at his eyes, struggling against the darkness.
"Dead.." Sam murmured, "bleeding." His hands moved over Dean's face as he shuffled on his knees behind his brother so he could check his head. Sam hissed as he parted his brother's hair gently and saw a huge gash, "need hospital. Stitches." Moving back around to meet his brother's gaze Sam frowned when Dean wouldn't look at him. "Hey, you okay?" Dean's eyes were blinking rapidly then he squeezed them shut. "Dean?"
"M'okay," Dean insisted, trying desperately to stifle the panic rising up in him. His vision would return. He just got knocked in the head for fuck's sake it was just a thing and it would go away. "Help me up," he urged, reaching out for his brother. He didn't bother objecting to the hospital. Stitches would best be done by a professional, and if his sight hadn't fixed itself by then he'd ask about it. No need to unnecessarily worry his brother. "You drive," he added, as if it weren't already obvious.
Something was wrong. Sam helped his brother up and tore the bottom of his t-shirt off, scrunched it up and pressed it to the wound on the back of Dean's head. "Hold," he said as he slid his arm under his brother's to steady him. "Was wrong?" Dean wasn't moving with his usual confidence and he was leaning awfully hard against Sam's side. Huffing out a frustrated breath Sam started them off toward the door.
Dean swallowed hard and pressed his hand firmly against the fabric. They were moving and Dean knew where, he'd just traveled this path, but it felt like everything was tilting sideways, swirling until he couldn't grasp hold. "I can't..." he sucked in a quick breath, eyes fluttering again. Dean had suffered blurred vision before, he'd even seen big black spots once when they came across a werewolf that had slammed him into the wall. This was different. There was simply nothing. "Sam," he groaned and stopped moving, rolling slightly into his brother's frame. "I can't see."
Sam didn't panic often but the thought of his brother not being able to see made it feel like his heart had exploded in his chest. Biting down on his bottom lip for a moment, Sam hiked Dean up and held him closer. "'Cause of head, will be okay." He forced himself to sound confident. The last thing that Dean needed was to feel like he was frightening Sam. It was a short walk to the car but each time Dean was unsure of his footing, stumbled or clung to Sam harder than usual, Sam's heart sank in his chest a little more. Once they were at the car Sam opened the door and settled Dean inside before running around quickly to get behind the wheel. "S'okay..." Sam murmured reaching out for Dean's hand as soon as he had put the car in drive.
Riding in the car without sight was more terrifying then Dean could ever have imagined. It was one thing to be asleep, to feel the comforting shifting of the road, the familiar hum of the engine. In this new darkness Dean was all too aware that he wasn't asleep. The engine noises should have been comforting but there was still a too strong ache in his body and no matter how many times he dropped his eyelids and lifted them, it was only darkness. The doctor's would fix this, they had too. You couldn't get blinded just by hitting your head, it was a temporary thing. Dean had to believe that because there was no acceptable alternative. "We almost there?" He asked quietly, trying to shove down the fear prickling along his skin.
"Yeah," Sam squeezed Dean's hand tightly, "two minutes." He could only imagine what it must be like for Dean not knowing where they were, he was so used to being in control of things. The bright lights of the hospital appeared in the distance and Sam cleared his throat, it was aching, normal he wouldn't say this many things in an entire day. "See it." He drove straight ahead until he saw the emergency entrance and found the first parking spot he could. There was no way he was walking Dean further than he had to. Glancing over at Dean he could see worry creasing his brother's face, "keep pressure." Turning off the car Sam slipped out quickly and jogged around to help Dean out and within seconds they were headed across the street toward the emergency room.
"Okay, let me do most of the talking," Dean said softly, though that was pretty obvious too. There was no way Sam would be talking to complete strangers. "Hey, how do I look? If I... if I say I fell off the roof or something, is that going to pass?" Dean hated this whole thing and it was really beginning to settle unpleasantly in the pit of his stomach. He was grasp for some hold on things and if it weren't for Sam against his side, Dean wasn't sure he would be able to handle it.
"'Cept for Ghoul blood," Sam's mind wasn't working like it should. Reaching around he brushed some of the dust and dirt off of Dean's jacket. "Say ... were sealing roof and fell." He couldn't think of any other damn explanation for the black ooze that was all over them. They looked like they'd been massacring oil cans. "Will be okay," Sam's voice was getting rougher and quieter, his grip on Dean tighter. The doors to the emergency room slid open with a mechanical swoosh and they were inside. Sam blinked furiously in the stark fluorescent lighting and moved them over to the admitting desk. "Here..." He rested his hand on Dean's chest, I love you. "My brother..." Sam murmured at the nurse behind the counter.
"Oh my goodness," the nurse stood up, walking quickly around the desk. "Are you alright sir?"
Dean tilted his head toward the voice, a little unnerved by how upset she sounded. Did he really look that bad? Sam and he were used to thinking of things in less extremes then other people saw them. "I uh... we were working on a house. Sealing the roof and I feel. Gotta pretty nasty cut on the back of my head and I... I can't see," saying the words were a second time made his heart sink heavy in his chest, especially when the nurse inhaled sharply.
"Well, let's get you in back then, your brother can stay here and fill out the paperwork," the nurse said swiftly and a moment later Dean felt fingers over his arm.
"I, no. No I want him to come with. Can he fill them out in back? It's... I really just can't be alone right now, please," Dean slid easily into his persuasive mood, using his good looks and charm to get his way. He supposed being so badly injured could only add to the affect.
The nurse seemed to think for a minute, at least she was silent so Dean assumed she was thinking, before sighing, "oh alright, just a moment."
Dean listened to her shoes click along the tile before he turned slightly to Sam, "no matter what they say or do, do not leave me side clear?" He leaned heavy against the familiar heat of his brother, wishing that every deep breath he pulled in didn't come with the added layer of hospital sterilization.
"'Kay," Sam's fingers curled through Dean's belt loop and pulled him along the hallway following the bustling nurse. Her scrubs had little Garfield's on them which was almost entirely too strange for Sam. It wasn't until he was about to nudge Dean and get him to look that the full impact of him being sightless started to hit him. God. "They'll fix it," Sam whispered wanting so badly to brush his lips against Deans cheek. He settled for rubbing his thumb along the flesh above his brother's waistband. The nurse led them to a curtained area and Sam glanced over at her, wondering what to do. "On the bed?"
"Yeah go ahead and get him up there, then I'll need you to fill this out including the insurance card," the nurse informed and set a clipboard on the counter. "Sir, what's your name? I'm sorry i don't believe you mentioned it before."
Dean's mind fluttered, trying to remember what name they had on their insurance card. "David. David McMillan," he muttered and allowed Sam to help him up onto the bed. "This is my brother Reese, he uh, doesn't talk much. Should I be in a gown or something?"
"Of course, here's one," the nurse stepped forward and Dean found himself wondering if she held it out to him for a moment before realizing she had to give it to Sam. "I'm going to get a doctor, I'll be back in a few minutes to get your vitals so go ahead and get changed."
Dean listened to the curtain shift and once it had closed again he turned toward Sam, "Sam, if I... if I need surgery to fix this. We can't cover that. The insurance, it was never for something so major. Surgery costs a lot." Dean pulled in a deep breath, lifting his arms slightly to let Sam pull his shirt up.
Sam tugged his brother's shirt up over his head, folded it then set it on the chair. "I'll get money. Don't ..." Sam's voice was strained, he knew it. He would do whatever he had to do to take care of his brother. No question. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean's while they were alone, brow furrowing when Dean started at the touch. "I'll take care of it," he whispered into the kiss. Squeezing the back of dean's neck Sam pressed their foreheads together for a few moments then moved to unbutton his brother's jeans.
He knew Dean could have done it himself, but he felt like they were both needing to be touching, close, and this was as good a way as any. Dean's fingers curled over Sam's shoulder as he stepped out of his jeans. Reaching behind him Sam grabbed the gown and held it up. "Arms to me," he said and when Dean lifted his arms Sam slid the gown on then moved behind Dean to do up the tie. "Sexy," he murmured and pressed a kiss to the back of his brother's neck.
Helping his brother into the bed felt horrible. Sam had never seen Dean looking so lost -or- trying so hard not to look lost. Once Dean was settled on the hospital bed Sam filled out the forms quickly, using their fake insurance cards.
"Okay Mr. McMillan, let's get you looked over," the nurse said upon re-entering the room, crossing the room to stand by him. Dean listened to her moving around, trying to figure out what she was going. Moments later he felt the cuff of the blood pressure machine sliding around him, followed by the whirring of the machine as it tightened. "It looks like this wound on the back of your head is definitely going to need stitches, then the doctor can address the eyesight issue. Are you having pain anywhere else?"
Dean swallowed and did a cursory over his body, searching for areas that ached more intensely than other spots. "I... no. I'm sore but I don't think there's anything else major. Nothing a few Advil's can't cure."
"Well I'll hook you up to the IV and we can give you some pain meds that way. The doctor will also use an anaesthetic for the stitches," she informed and the hands on Dean's body that had been checking his vitals disappeared. There was shuffling, things opening and closing, and Dean couldn't help turning his head as if to look. He wondered where exactly Sam was standing, if his face was etched with worry and concern. "Okay, I'm just going to put the needle in now," the nurse said softly and moments later Dean felt the sharp prick in the crook of his arm. "All set. The doctor should be in within a few minutes. Have you finished with the papers?" the nurse had obviously turned toward Sam now and Dean sighed softly settling back on the pillow.
Sam handed the nurse the paperwork and shifted closer quickly, sitting down on the edge of Dean's bed. Slipping his fingers into Dean's hand, Sam whispered, "need to touch you." He swallowed. The weight of the entire situation was starting to press into Sam. All those questions, next of kin, allergies and previous illnesses, consent for medical procedures. Sam sucked in a shaky breath, "you okay?"
"I..." Dean wet his lips and turned his head toward his brother. "No. Not really." He worried his voice shook too much but at this point it didn't really matter. Sam had to know how freaked out he was and Dean was fairly certain Sam was probably just as freaked. "It'll be okay. I'm gonna be okay. They'll fix it," he insisted, squeezing Sam's hand tightly.
Nodding, Sam pressed his lips together then realized Dean couldn't hear him. "Yeah, you're right," his throat was aching, dry and rough. A drink of water or something would be perfect but he wasn't going to let go of Dean's hand. His fingers slid up Dean's forearm, skirting around the site of the I.V.; Sam was starting to realized how much he depended on Dean, on Dean being able to see him and judge what he was thinking and feeling. "Sore?"
"Yeah," Dean nodded slowly, focusing in on Sam's touch. His words had sounded rough, raw, and Dean couldn't help frowning. Though Sam was getting better with talking it still wasn't something he did constantly and if Dean couldn't see than that would alter everything between them. Dean wouldn't be able to read his notes, wouldn't be able to glance over at him and know exactly what was going on in his mind just by the way he stood. Dean's heart lurched unpleasant and he covered his mouth with his free hand. "Fuck I think I'm going to be sick." He grunted the words, clenching his useless eyes shut more out of habit than anything else.
Moving quickly Sam grabbed the bed pan of the night table and swung it into Dean's lap. He shifted so he was sitting right beside Dean and tucked his brother under his arm. "S'okay, I gotcha," his hand moved in slow circles on Dean's back. His brother's face had gone pale, his freckles standing out as sweat beaded on his forehead. Sam looked around frantically for a nurse wondering if the pain meds were making Dean nauseous.
Dean threw up whatever it was they'd had for dinner, sucking in deep breaths to try and get himself under control. He couldn't live without his eye sight, what would he do? You can't hunt blind. And Sam...
"Hey there," an overly cheery voice came with the dragging back of the curtain and Dean listened to his slight hesitation before the man approached. "Feeling a little sick to your stomach? Let me have the nurse get you some water."
"Was that the doctor?" Dean asked quietly, sitting back once he was certain he wasn't going to do a repeat performance of throwing up.
"Yeah, white coat, expensive shoes..." Sam huffed quietly and slid the bed pan back onto the nightstand. His arm moved up to Dean's shoulder pulling his brother close to him. Screw appearances. Sam's lips brushed quickly across Dean's temple and he whispered, "think he'll be right back."
"Good, I just want to get this over with," Dean mumbled.
"Okay sorry about that, she'll be right in with some water. Now, David is it?" The doctor crossed the room and Dean listened to the rustle of paper as he moved. "My name is Dr. Ward, I'm going to take a look at you, see what we can do to get you seeing again okay? But first take a look at that cut."
Dean leaned forward, turning toward Sam and dropping his legs off the side of the bed when the doctor guided him around. His fingers extended, dragging along the denim covering Sam's thigh before hooking in his belt loop. Who cared at this point if the doctor could see, they didn't owe anyone an explanation.
"Alright you're going to feel a slight pinch, that's the anaesthetic, then you won't feel the stitches part at all okay?" The doctor informed and tore open a package. "And the best part is these will dissolve so you won't have to come back in to get them removed. Ready?"
Dean tugged gently on Sam's belt loop, pulling him closer. "Yeah. I'm ready." He flinched slightly at the pinch before the doctor withdrew the needle. Sam stepped a little closer and Dean sucked in a quick breath to gather his scent, seeking the comfort from familiarity.
"Okay," the doctor cleared his throat sometime later, pushing back from the bed, "why don't you go ahead and lay back and we'll take a look at your eyes. It says you fell off the roof, did you hit your head?"
"Yeah, pretty damn hard," Dean murmured as Sam helped him turn back in the bed. He was getting sleepy, the pain medicine working its way through him. "This will clear up right? I mean, it's just a temporary thing."
"Well, depends on what it is," the doctor said softly and Dean felt fingers on his cheeks, lifting his eye lids. "We're going to need to run a few tests. I'll put the order in for them right away and hopefully we can give you a better idea what we're dealing with here. Until then, why don't you just try and get some rest." A large hand clamped down on his shoulder for a moment before he turned away and a moment later Dean heard the curtain draw back.
"Well that was all sorts of helpful," Dean muttered and turned toward Sam, reaching out for him.
"Dean..." Sam chastised gently but he knew his brother, he was worried. Glancing around nervously Sam worried his bottom lip then leaned back on the bed and pulled Dean into his arms. "They need to do tests," he whispered against his brother's temple, "you know that." Sam's wide hand cupped his brother's injured skull, fingers framing the wound as his thumb rubbed gently at Dean's neck. Sam started rocking slightly, unconsciously trying to soothe his brother.
"Yeah I know," Dean nodded and sighed softly, settling back on the bed.