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Sobs echoed through the showers with the constant sound of pressurized water hitting metal. A lone Eule unit stood hunched over the wash basin. A rusty and bloodied knife lied amidst the filth. Blood and blackish goo mixed with the water as it swirled down the drain.
The lone Eule unit cried, their attempt to wash their hands clean was terribly futile. No matter how many times she ran her hands through the scalding hot water, her hands remained the same. Bloodied with the lives of innocents.
Why? What’s happening to me? Go away, please, just go away…
Why can’t I remember?! What did I do? What have I done?
Everything is such a mess! It feels like needles poking my skin, argh, my head’s all fuzzy…
The blood won’t come off, it won’t… I have to wash it off! I can’t let her see me like this!
The frantic scrubbing of her hands tore at her skin. The water burned as even more blood pooled in the basin.
What did I do? I can’t remember! I think I did something bad… Something awful… What’s wrong with me? WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER?!
Have to get it off, off, off… Can’t let her see me like this, please don’t let her see me like this…
The lone Eule unit made the terrible mistake of looking up. An unshattered mirror stood before her, and the sight which met her made the revulsion she felt of herself swell even higher. She felt sick, sick to live in her own skin. She didn’t feel like herself anymore.
Caked in blood, she was completely covered in it. None of it was her own, somehow she knew that much. Her dirtied hair covered one of her eyes, the other’s pigment was colored a deep red from all the blood. She looked into her one eye, seeing her own terror and fear so vividly, like staring into her own soul. But there was something more too, hiding behind this illusion, something sinister…
It felt like a distant memory this, staring into a mirror. Not long ago she spent ages in front of mirrors fuzzing over the tiniest details regarding her appearance, wanting to appear as fine as she could possibly make herself. But that was all it was now. A distant memory.
No, this isn’t me… THAT’S NOT ME! I’M STILL ME!!!
With an anguished shout, the Eule unit picked up the filthy rusty knife from the basin and smashed the solid handle into the mirrored image. The mirror did not shatter, it only cracked around in circles from where she hit it. Blood began to seep from its cracks and her broken reflection was stained with even more blood. And through the blood lies a sight even more disturbing than the last.
No… nononono… please no-
She had to grip the basin before her knees failed her. She stared horrified into the shattered mirror. Praying that the tiniest sliver which was reflected from the shattered mirror was not real. She touched her face to find any hope whatsoever that she was just imagining this. But her touch came back blank, she couldn’t feel anything, she could no longer feel her hands.
No, it can’t… that can’t be me…
Her spiraling was interrupted as she heard footsteps behind her. She clutched the knife in her bloodied grip and turned towards the sound. She did not know why she held the knife still. She wasn’t the monster the mirror made her out to be, or so she told herself. Yet her immediate reaction upon hearing something behind her had been undeniably aggressive. Before even setting eyes on what was behind her she felt the urge to kill whatever had snuck up on her.
Out of all people that could have turned up behind her. It was the person who she wanted the least to see her like this. Any and all aggression that had quickly bubbled up inside of her was instantly evaporated. Shame, a terribly great cloud of shame loomed over her instead.
A few meters away stood the imposing figure of a Star unit, but not just any Star unit, it was her Star. Her face was vacant, holding no emotion whatsoever. Still it was more than she deserved… Her appearance seemed immaculate. Perfect as if it had come from a memory.
No… You can’t see me like this. I don’t want you to see me like this… Please just leave me alone…
The Eule unit turned back to the basin. Her pitiful attempt to clean off the blood turned even more frantic. Her hands shaking with panic and disgust at herself, she tried her best to clean them but they came away even bloodier than before. Nothing she did helped, she was still just as bloody as when she came in here. Even as her numbed hands burned under the scalding waters she failed to realize that she was only making it worse.
I didn’t want to… I didn’t want to kill them… It wasn’t me… PLEASE, DON’T LOOK AT ME!
She wanted to scream. But no words could escape her lips. The guilt was crushing, and there was no reprieve. She did not know who, she just knew that she had. She had murdered someone, someone who didn’t deserve to die and at the back of her mind, her greatest source of guilt. She knew that it hadn’t only just been the one either…
She only stilled when the footsteps had gotten close enough, only when a hand came down on her shoulder. Once it might have helped calm her down. Now it only helped remind her of terrible things she’s done. She was not deserving of such a touch, not anymore.
Leave me be, can’t you see? I’m broken…
The disgust they must harbor, she couldn’t possibly imagine what they must have felt about her now. Were they going to put her out of her misery? She could only hope for such a peaceful outcome.
Through blurred vision, she looked up once more. Only to confirm that which she knew was true. The pretty face of a Eule unit was not what met her in the cracked mirror. Only an abhorrent disfigured mass of flesh. Her own face deformed beyond recognition. It was what she did not wish to see, such an awful fate to see what one has become.
She would cry, she wished that she could. But this husk of flesh could not weep, the sounds of sorrow and anguish were naught but the last piece clinging to her old self. An imaginary illusion.
Her hands, her arms, all of her. Corrupted.
No… That’s not me…
She touched her face and felt the reality of her situation. She was hideous, she was a murderer, a monster.
That’s not my face… perhaps, underneath? Yes, my face! It has to be underneath!
Her grip on the knife turned even harsher. There was only one thing she could do. She brought the knife up to the terrible flesh. She felt the edge cut into the side of her face. She had to get rid of the flesh. This wasn’t her face, it wasn’t hers !
But before she could cut and tear her fake face off. A hand wrapped around her wrist and forced her to remain still. The grip was terribly weak, she could have easily broken through it and done what she had to do. Yet she did not move.
Eventually, the hand tugged on her wrist. Slowly pulling the knife away from her face. The Eule unit did nothing to stop them. Not before long the knife fell clattering to the ground, away from her grasp. And still the hand remained, clutched around her wrist.
A small semblance of calm resurfaced at this terribly familiar sensation.
“St-... St-ar?” She could barely vocalize any words, she wasn’t even sure the words had managed to escape her at all, or if it had just been her imagination.
No… Not you too…
She turned around, only to be greeted by another abomination not much unlike herself. Blackish goo stained the armor of her beloved. The pieces of her skin left exposed showed only fetid rotting flesh. The tall standing monstrosity before her gazed down at her through a face-covering veil.
The Eule unit could only stare in horror of what had become of them.
Are you still here? Are you still in there, beloved? Or are you just like me?
Uncertain hands slowly traveled upwards. The giant before her made no move to stop her whatsoever as she gripped the edges of the veil and slowly moved it out of the way.
Not you too…
Such a cruel fate…
What did we do to deserve this?
The face beneath the veil was just as dead and rotten as she was. Nothing of the caring Star unit remained beneath it. Even then, through its dead horrible expression could she sense concern and grief. Not much unlike what she herself felt for her beloved.
If she could weep, she would’ve. Instead she clung to the deformed body of her beloved. The last anchor of her entire reality. The monstrosity responded by wrapping their arms around her fragile disgusting form. Hunching over so that they could get closer.
Their forehead bumped into the top of the Eule’s head. The veil fell and covered both their faces from one side. Hiding their monstrous nature from view.
The pain of their bodies held no match against the pain shared in their hearts.
Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Stay with me forever… I don’t wish to be alone. I can’t do this on my own.
Don’t let go of me…
The corrupted Star unit squeezed the corrupted Eule unit closer to its towering body. Unwilling to let go of this hold. A pained sniffle escaped the terrible monstrosity as it held its former companion.
Its gaze filled with hatred as it saw the shattered mirror, it snarled and squeezed the grip of a metal baton. They stared into it and in return, it stared back, two figures of disfigured flesh. With a loud shatter, the Star unit quickly struck the mirror and this time the mirror did not survive. It broke into a million different pieces that fell and cascaded down onto the ground and into the bloodied basin.
Then there was silence…
Not another sound was made as time crawled slowly by, the two former lovers stood and held each other as they suffered and lost their minds together, thankful to spend their final moments in at least each other’s company. Holding on until the last remnants of their former selves were erased. When nothing remained, the embrace was broken and the two husks went their separate ways. Not knowing what had been and what now was lost, entirely consumed and corrupted by the great pit of hatred that now fueled their miserable existence.
Doomed to never know why their heart wept and ached so terribly.