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Control has always taken a strange form in Jihoon and Soonyoung’s relationship. Something desperately fought over one day becomes something easily given the next. Some days, Jihoon needs it like he needs air to breathe, other days it’s suffocating.
Jihoon knows that this isn’t how any of their friend’s relationships work. He knows.
But knowing doesn’t mean he cares, when Soonyoung looks just as pretty with tear tracks down his cheeks as he does hot and bothered, with that glint in his eyes that tells Jihoon he’s in for a long night.
Because Jihoon likes Soonyoung, confident and a little mean as he fucks Jihoon half into tears and he likes Soonyoung, soft and pliant beneath him, and he likes anything in between. He likes Soonyoung on his knees just about as much as he likes being the one kneeling, desperate hands fisted in his hair. He likes anything Soonyoung has to give, likes being the one to take, likes- Soonyoung, really, in any way he can have him.
He likes Soonyoung so, so much.
Which is why he notices. It’s in the little things, with Soonyoung. When everything becomes too much, when stress eats at him, Jihoon shuts down. Camps out in his studio until Soonyoung practically has to drag him home, feed him, fuck him until the static in his head dies down and he can finally sleep.
It’s subtler, with Soonyoung. Less obvious. It’s in the way he’s just a little softer around the edges, a little quieter, less sure of his footing. It’s in the way he responds stronger to praise, in the way he soaks up any touch Jihoon grants him but won’t just ask.
It’s even in the way Jihoon had had to order for both of them at dinner recently, Soonyoung staring at the menu wide eyed and confused until Jihoon took it from him, relieved him of the burden of choice.
With the album release coming, with long hours spent practicing, making sure every angle, every expression is perfect, Soonyoung is teetering on the edge, about to fall this way or that. And Jihoon- Well, Jihoon is more than willing to catch him.
There’d been a plan, once. Their rest days aligning is a fairly rare occurrence, so when Jihoon checked his schedule and saw that they’d both have the same Sunday off soon, he’d got to scheming, like any good boyfriend would. It was fairly simple: tire Soonyoung out as much as he could Saturday night, have him sleep 12 hours at minimum and then enjoy a lazy Sunday together.
Except, then Saturday night came, and there really wasn’t enough energy left in either of them to do much more than brush their teeth and fall into bed together. Soonyoung had thrown an arm around Jihoon’s waist and snuggled close, and after weeks of sleeping alone, that had felt so, so good, but it wasn’t what Soonyoung needed from him, and- and then Jihoon was asleep.
So, when he woke up the next morning, well-rested, to an empty bed and SHINee playing down the hallway in the kitchen, he was, admittedly, a little annoyed at himself. There’d been a plan. And according to that plan Soonyoung should still be in bed, sore and content and knocked out.
Still, it’s Jihoon’s rest day, and he’s not going to spend it in bed, sulking that he didn’t manage to fuck his boyfriend to sleep. Groggily, he rolls out of bed, not bothering to put on a shirt, and makes his way to brush his teeth before he goes to follow Lee Taemin’s voice down their hallway.
In the kitchen, he finds his boyfriend, dressed in baggy sweatpants and a shirt that might have been Jihoon’s, once, blond hair slightly damp from a shower he must’ve taken while Jihoon was still asleep. In the back of his mind, an idea starts to form, but it’s 10AM and it seems like Soonyoung has made coffee, so Jihoon pushes it down for the moment as he watches Soonyoung, humming along softly to Replay, hips moving to the beat.
He seems to be in such a good mood Jihoon is almost willing to believe he’s imagined all the signs these past weeks. The comeback looms over them both, and maybe Jihoon has been a little more worried than usual, seeing things that aren’t really there. Maybe Soonyoung’s just been a little tired.
Except- when Soonyoung turns, smiling, and offers Jihoon a cup of coffee, he doesn’t kiss him good morning. Which is really all the indicator Jihoon needs.
People tend not to believe it when Soonyoung calls himself an introvert, but Jihoon knows better. The public doesn’t get to see him like this but, every now and then, Soonyoung gets lost in his head, wondering, worrying, if he’s too much, if he’s not enough. When he gets like this, he needs to be taken care of, needs to be told he’s loved, and Jihoon- loves him. More than life.
“Thank you,” he says as he accepts the cup, fingers briefly brushing Soonyoung’s, and when he turns his cheek, Soonyoung doesn’t kiss that either. Jihoon feels the odd need to drag him back to bed, push him into their sheets and show him that he’s allowed to touch.
“I made breakfast,” Soonyoung responds, already turned back away to their counters.
Jihoon takes a sip of his coffee, maybe sulking just a little. When he turns to look, he finds that ‘made breakfast’ means Soonyoung has reheated some leftovers his mom gave him at his last visit, and cooked rice. Considering they’re both OK cooks at best, Jihoon appreciates it. Over the speakers, SHINee are trying and failing to serenade a pretty noona, which gives Jihoon an idea he’s sure Soonyoung won’t oppose.
“Thank you, baby,” he murmurs, as he helps Soonyoung with setting the table, not missing the way Soonyoung drops the chopsticks he was fumbling with at his words.
Pet names are something Jihoon likes to reserve for special occasions, for when Soonyoung and him are alone. In part, this is because he’s a fairly private person, and likes reserving them just for Soonyoung’s ears. The main reason, however, is because Soonyoung has always responded to them so, so strongly.
Soonyoung’s cheeks are the slightest red as he picks his chopsticks back up clumsily. “It’s no problem, Jihoonie,” he mumbles, embarrassed. Jihoon fights the urge to reach out, run his fingers up his arms, just to see if he’d get goosebumps. That comes later. “Let’s eat.”
Breakfast goes by unhurried, comfortable, Soonyoung chattering away about his schedule last night as Jihoon shovels rice into his mouth. It’s nice, and comfortable, and Soonyoung still won’t touch him.
Usually, when they haven’t been able to get a moment to themselves for a while, Soonyoung can’t keep his hands to himself the moment they’re behind closed doors. And really, it’s not Soonyoung’s fault, that he’s not like that now, Jihoon reasons inwardly as he tries not to sulk. It’s no one’s fault. It’s just something that happens, sometimes. He just needs a little reassurance, and Jihoon knows how to give that, but-
But Jihoon has missed his boyfriend. He’s missed the cheeky way Soonyoung likes to play footsy in the morning, not serious about going anywhere with it, just happy to touch Jihoon.
And, well- maybe Soonyoung isn’t the only one in need of relief.
Breakfast comes and goes, Soonyoung moving to clean up their dishes as he rambles about the last fashion week he attended, and when that’s done, they move towards their living room, more out of habit than anything else.
Stood in the center of their living room, filled with reminders of their life together, Soonyoung turns towards Jihoon. “Should we watch a movie?
The light filtering in from their windows bathes him in a soft glow, his blond hair shining like a halo, and all of a sudden, Jihoon needs him like he needs air to breathe. He’s missed Soonyoung.
It’s not like they haven’t seen each other recently. They have the occasional schedule together, see each other at photo shoots and practices, but with their misaligned schedules they haven’t had this: Domesticity. This is the first morning they’ve spent together, just the two of them, in weeks.
Jihoon remembers, suddenly, the way Soonyoung’s hair was damp by the time Jihoon had managed to stumble into the kitchen. He can’t be the only one who’s missed his boyfriend.
“Did you wake up hard this morning?” The word’s are out of Jihoon’s mouth before he can even second-guess himself. And well, he thinks, now’s as good a time as any.
Soonyoung startles at that, his eyes wide as he stares at Jihoon. “What?”
“You showered,” Jihoon points out, taking one deliberate step towards his boyfriend, then another. “Quiet enough so you wouldn’t wake me up.”
Soonyoung’s ears are the slightest bit red. It’s a cute change of pace, compared to how shameless his boyfriend is usually.
“You could’ve waited for me to wake up,” Jihoon says, when Soonyoung seems lost for words. He’s fully in Soonyoung’s space now, close enough to touch, and he’s missed this too: the charged energy between them as Soonyoung realizes what Jihoon wants. “I would’ve helped you out.”
Soonyoung is soft, soft in the morning glow, loose shirt hanging off his shoulders, making him seem smaller than he is. “I didn’t want to bother you,” he admits, embarrassed. “You’ve been so busy recently.”
Jihoon almost rolls his eyes at how stupidly sweet his boyfriend is. “We’ve both been busy,” he points out, reaching out a hand, fingers grazing Soonyoung’s wrist ever so slightly. “I was worried about you.”
At that, Soonyoung’s eyebrows furrow cutely. “Why would you-“
“And I missed you,” Jihoon admits, fingers trailing up, up, until they curl around Soonyoung’s biceps. “Kiss me?”
And really, in all their time together, Jihoon has never known his boyfriend to turn that particular request down. When Soonyoung leans down, the kiss Jihoon receives is closed-mouth and chaste, not at all what Jihoon is craving, but it’s Soonyoung, so Jihoon really can’t help the way he leans into it anyway.
When Soonyoung pulls away, curiosity gets the better of Jihoon. “Did you cum?”
Soonyoung’s cheeks are a bright red as he shakes his head. “I took a cold shower.”
“Good,” Jihoon grins as he crowds Soonyoung back, back, all the way until the backs of his knees connect with the edge of their sofa. In the back of his mind, Jihoon remembers his plan, and how it decidedly did not involve him in Soonyoung’s lap, but really, his boyfriend’s so cute, Jihoon can’t help himself as he gently pushes Soonyoung down. “I was worried you didn’t want me anymore.”
“Ji-“
“You didn’t even kiss me good morning,” Jihoon interrupts Soonyoung.
“’M sorry, Jihoonie,” Soonyoung mumbles from where he’s sat on their couch. “It’s just- You’ve been so busy with the comeback. I didn’t want to-“
“Don’t think about that today,” Jihoon says as he settles across Soonyoung’s lap, knees on either side of Soonyoung’s hips. Soonyoung’s face is turned up towards him, eyes wide, cheeks a pretty pink, and Jihoon needs- “Only think about me.”
“Jihoonie-“ Soonyoung breathes, hands hovering above Jihoon’s waist, but not quite touching. Jihoon loves him mean, and energetic, loves him when he’s bursting at the seams, but he also loves him like this: soft, unsure.
Jihoon smiles as he throws his arms around Soonyoung’s shoulders. “Do you want me?”
Soonyoung’s breathing already comes a little harder as he nods wordlessly.
Jihoon leans forward to press a kiss to the corner of Soonyoung’s mouth. “I want you, too.” A moment later, he moves to press his lips against Soonyoung’s jaw, Soonyoung’s head tilting back almost instinctively to make more space for him as he moves on to press open-mouthed kisses against Soonyoung’s throat. “I know you’re a little unsure about that right now,” Jihoon murmurs against his boyfriend’s skin. “But don’t worry, baby. I’ll show you.”
“Jihoonie,” Soonyoung half-moans, hands finally making contact with the naked skin of Jihoon’s waist.
Jihoon can’t help the soft exhale that escapes him as Soonyoung’s thumbs find the hollow of his hips, running up, down, up again in a familiar motion. After weeks of barely anything, of rushed hello and goodbye kisses at best, Soonyoung’s hands on him feel so, so good Jihoon almost forgets the idea he had earlier. Almost.
He pulls back just far enough to catch Soonyoung’s eyes. “No, baby,” he murmurs, entirely too affected by Soonyoung’s open expression, pupils blown, cheeks pink. “Not today.”
Jihoon knows it doesn’t work like that, but he thinks he sees Soonyoung’s eyes glaze over, mind going hazy so very easily as he realizes what Jihoon is saying. “Oh,” he breathes softly, and then, “Hyung.”
If Jihoon is completely honest with himself, he doesn’t really care for what Soonyoung calls him when they fuck. But Soonyoung cares. And Jihoon in turn cares for the way this single word affects Soonyoung, makes him soft and malleable just like that.
Jihoon smiles. “That’s right, Youngie.” He grinds his hips down against Soonyoung’s, rewarding. “Good boy.”
It’s almost embarrassing, the way Jihoon is half-hard already, but Soonyoung doesn’t seem to be doing much better than him as that single motion is enough to make him gasp. It’s almost embarrassing, but it’s been weeks since he’s so much as been this close to Soonyoung. Now, he essentially has him on a silver platter, his to take, and Jihoon needs, needs, needs.
Jihoon loops his arms around Soonyoung’s shoulders, leans in and then, finally, they’re kissing, open-mouthed and hot and everything Jihoon has been craving. Soonyoung’s tongue is hot and slick against his own, strong hands on his hips guiding him until Jihoon is grinding down again, rhythmic little motions that leave them both desperate and gasping into each other’s mouths.
When Jihoon pulls away for air, Soonyoung’s lips are spit-slick and puffy, his breathing heavy. The sight is almost enough to make Jihoon dive back in, forget everything and just get Soonyoung off like this, into his sweats like a teenager. Except- getting off wasn’t the only reason Jihoon started this.
Jihoon thinks about the good morning kiss he was denied, about the way he woke up alone. Soonyoung had been so unsure, if he was allowed to reach for Jihoon, and while it would be so easy to get lost in the moment, this takes precedent. Jihoon needs his boyfriend to know he’s allowed. Jihoon needs his boyfriend so desperate to touch he can’t think of anything else.
“Youngie,” he says, very aware of the effect the diminutive has on Soonyoung, one hand moving to grasp at Soonyoung’s chin. “Be good, yeah?”
Eyes clouded over, Soonyoung nods without a second of hesitation.
Jihoon can’t help but hum in approval at the easy obedience. Testing, he nudges Soonyoung’s face this way and that, delighted at the way his boyfriend moves his head to Jihoon’s command without any force necessary. “You’re cute when you get like this,” Jihoon murmurs, and then, “Open.”
And Soonyoung does. His mouth falls open as his eyes fall shut, and Jihoon can’t entirely believe he’s survived weeks without this. Soonyoung is perfect, Jihoon thinks, as he gathers saliva in his mouth. Soonyoung is everything he could ever want. Dominating and rough one night, soft and pliant the next. Soonyoung gives and gives and gives, and Jihoon is more than happy to take.
Jihoon guides Soonyoung’s face closer to his own, almost like he intends to kiss him. Through it all, Soonyoung keeps his eyes faithfully closed, and for a moment, Jihoon gets lost in the pretty way his eyelashes fan out across cheeks. And then, without warning, he spits in Soonyoung’s mouth.
If Soonyoung is startled, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he keeps his mouth obediently open.
“Swallow,” Jihoon instructs, softly. And Soonyoung does.
A second later, Soonyoung’s lashes flutter as his eyes blink back open. “Hyung,” he almost whines. “Please.”
When Jihoon spares a glance down, he finds Soonyoung’s sweats tenting obviously, clearly turned on. Jihoon snorts, even though he himself isn’t exactly doing much better after that display, his own sleep shorts feeling uncomfortably tight.
“What do you want, Youngie?”
Soonyoung doesn’t hesitate in his answer. “You.”
And, well- maybe Jihoon is just a little easy for Soonyoung when he gets like this, all trusting. Distractedly, he runs his thumb across Soonyoung’s bottom lip. “You’re in luck then,” he murmurs, eyes following keenly as Soonyoung’s lips close around his finger, sucking softly. “You have me.”
Soonyoung is pretty like that, flushed, unfocused, at Jihoon’s mercy. Jihoon wants him, too.
Almost a little remorsefully, Jihoon pulls his finger from Soonyoung’s mouth. He wants Soonyoung, so, so bad, but unfortunately, he did not think things through when he first pushed his boyfriend down into their couch. Jihoon inwardly chastises himself at his own oversight. Still, he thinks to himself, this is a good an opportunity to tease Soonyoung a little.
“You have to behave though.”
“I’ll be good,” Soonyoung promises instantly.
“Good,” Jihoon murmurs, and then, “Stay.”
Soonyoung’s eyebrows furrow for a split second before Jihoon starts to move to get up off his lap. On Jihoon’s hips, Soonyoung’s hands tighten momentarily, desperate to keep Jihoon in his space. “Hyung-“
“You said you’d be good,” Jihoon reminds, and just like that, Soonyoung’s hands unclench, his expression just that side of guilty.
Jihoon snorts and moves in to press one last kiss against Soonyoung’s lips, closed-mouthed and chaste, before he finally stands up. His legs are a little wobbly after all the time he’s spent straddling Soonyoung’s lap but Jihoon doesn’t let that bother him as he makes his way to their bedroom without another word. Soonyoung has his commands, after all. Jihoon knows he’ll behave.
Now that he’s out of Soonyoung’s space for a moment, Jihoon’s head clears, if only marginally. Rooting around their bedside drawer for lube, he thinks about waking up alone. He thinks about how he never wakes up alone on mornings where they’re both free. He thinks about what Soonyoung had said, earlier, when Jihoon had called him out on it.
I didn’t want to bother you.
And maybe the idea that occurs to him as his hand closes around their half-empty lube bottle is a little petty, but- Soonyoung won’t mind. After all, he’s always liked Jihoon’s mean streak.
Lube in hand and idea fully formed, Jihoon returns to their living room where he finds Soonyoung painting a pathetic picture on their couch, fully clothed, desperately hard, staying perfectly still in his attempt to behave for his boyfriend. He’s cute like that, endlessly cute as he turns towards Jihoon like a sunflower in the face of the sun and maybe Jihoon is cruel in the way it makes him want to bully Soonyoung, if only a little.
Soonyoung just makes it so horribly easy when he’s like this.
Keen eyes follow Jihoon’s every movement as he deliberately sets the lube bottle down next to Soonyoung before he goes to undo the zipper of his shorts. “Since you’ve been so considerate and didn’t want to bother me this morning,” Jihoon says nonchalantly as he lets his shorts fall to the floor. “No touching, baby.”
Soonyoung’s eyes flit from the obvious bulge in Jihoon’s underwear to his face. “No, Hyung-“ he almost whines. “Please-“
Jihoon snorts at the desperate tone in Soonyoung’s voice. “You promised to behave,” he reminds his boyfriend as his fingers find the waistband of his own underwear. In one swift motion, he pulls it down and lets it join his shorts on the floor, and then, finally, he’s free, completely naked before a fully clothed Soonyoung.
It’s almost funny, the way Soonyoung’s eyes are drawn to Jihoon’s hard cock, pupils so blown his eyes look black. It’s almost funny, but it’s mostly just hot, that desperate edge to him as he balls his hands into fists to resist the urge to reach out. Soonyoung has had Jihoon any way he could have him, and still, just the sight of him gets Soonyoung like this, turned on and needy.
Jihoon can’t quite bite down his grin as he settles back across Soonyoung’s lap. “There you go,” he says, as Soonyoung stays perfectly still for him, hands firmly by his side. “Good boy.” And then, “Hand me the lube?”
Soonyoung’s eyes widen as he apparently finally understands what Jihoon intends to do to him. It’s taken him long enough, Jihoon thinks affectionately. Then again, Soonyoung’s brain always goes a little slow and fuzzy when Jihoon is the one in control. Under Jihoon’s watchful gaze, Soonyoung reaches a shaky had for the bottle, bringing it between them, careful not to even graze Jihoon’s skin in the process.
“Can I please-“ Soonyoung starts, voice breathy and desperate. He’s always liked being the one to prep Jihoon.
“No,” Jihoon interrupts him as he takes the bottle from Soonyoung’s hand. In a familiar motion, he uncaps it and pours a generous amount across his own fingers, delighted in the way Soonyoung’s eyes follow his every movement. It’s almost impressive, the way Soonyoung stays obediently still beneath Jihoon as he watches his boyfriend reach behind himself. “I’ll tell you when you can touch.”
Jihoon leans forward a little to give himself more space to work with, his free hand landing on Soonyoung’s shoulder to steady himself. “If you behave,” he breathes against Soonyoung’s lips, middle finger circling his own rim, “I’ll give you a reward.”
And with that, he pushes in, just to the first knuckle. It’s always an odd feeling, that first push after a dry spell, when he’s tight and high-strung, hole clenching around the unfamiliar intrusion. Still, he can’t help but sigh in relief, his eyes falling closed as he leans in to kiss Soonyoung. Finally, finally, Jihoon is getting what he’s wanted, needed in his hectic life.
Beneath him, Soonyoung whines high in his throat like he’s the one getting fingered and Jihoon bites at his lower lip in response, finger pushing, pushing until it’s buried in him entirely. He stays like that for a long moment, pressing kisses into Soonyoung’s skin as he lets himself adjust, and then-
“Oh-“ That first push always feels odd, but the second one has Jihoon gasping against Soonyoung. Jihoon’s eyes fall closed as he leans his forehead against Soonyoung’s, focusing entirely on pushing his finger in, out, in again. “Youngie, that’s-“
“Hyung, does it- does it feel good?”
Jihoon chuckles, the sound trailing off into a moan as he impatiently fucks a second finger into himself. “It feels good,” he mumbles, distracted, searching.
Soonyoung has a knack for pushing Jihoon’s buttons, for finding that most vulnerable place of him and pushing, pushing, pushing, all the way until something in Jihoon breaks. But Jihoon’s not bad at it either, so it takes barely a few seconds before he manages to bend his finger just right.
The sound that escapes Jihoon at that first press of fingertips against his prostate is more a keen than anything else, desperate and high-pitched. Beneath him, Soonyoung is practically vibrating in his desire to touch, but Jihoon doesn’t pay him any mind as he focuses on that spot, runs his finger across it again and again. Maybe it’s a little cruel, the way he doesn’t even bother trying to keep his voice down as he fucks himself open, but- it’s been weeks since Jihoon has felt anything like this. This whole thing was supposed to be for Soonyoung, once, but Jihoon needs it, too.
“Youngie,” Jihoon moans as he scissors his fingers inside himself. “It feels so- so good.”
Soonyoung makes a desperate little noise in response, and Jihoon can’t help but chuckle, bright and airy, lost in the feeling of finally being full again. By the time he pushes a third finger into himself, his hips are moving in time with his hand, desperate for more, more, more.
Originally, he’d planned to stretch this out longer, fuck himself open until Soonyoung was begging for him, but three fingers in Jihoon needs Soonyoung like air to breathe. And, well- Soonyoung was being so good. He deserves a treat.
With a sigh, Jihoon pulls his fingers from himself. It’s almost jarring, that sudden feeling of emptiness, but Jihoon knows he’s about to get something so much better than just his fingers.
With shaky hands, Jihoon impatiently reaches for the abandoned lube again. He uses his clean hand to pull at Soonyoung’s waistband, Soonyoung obediently raising up his hips without needing a command and then finally, Soonyoung’s cock springs free, painfully red and dripping precum. Jihoon’s mouth waters at the sight, and he has to bite down the sudden desire to get on his knees and have it in his mouth.
When Jihoon looks from Soonyoung’s cock to his face he finds his eyes big and teary-eyed. “Hyung,” Soonyoung breathes, soft and desperate. “Please- can I-“
Jihoon isn’t even entirely sure what Soonyoung is asking when he interrupts him. “No,” he says, his own voice shakier than he would’ve expected. “Behave.”
With that, he uncaps their lube again and pours a generous amount across his hand. At the first touch against his cock Soonyoung makes a noise that’s closer to a sob than anything else.
“Hyung-“ he whimpers desperately. And really- Jihoon just wanted to get his boyfriend ready for him. That was all. But at Soonyoung’s reaction, Jihoon can’t help the way he gets a little distracted, hand working Soonyoung’s cock over almost distractedly as his eyes zero in on Soonyoung’s wrecked expression.
It should be impossible, to look so cute with someone’s hand around your cock, but Soonyoung manages anyway. Jihoon swipes his thumb across Soonyoung’s head in a way he knows Soonyoung likes and in response Soonyoung keens so loudly Jihoon would be worried about their neighbors, if he didn’t know their walls were soundproofed. Curiously, Jihoon does it again, keeps up the movement as Soonyoung throws his head back desperately. It seems the weeks long dry spell has had quite the effect on both of them.
“Please-“ Soonyoung whimpers, soft. “I don’t wanna- don’t wanna come like this.”
“Oh?” Jihoon breathes, delighted. He slows the movement of his hand, but doesn’t stop. “How do you want to come, then, baby?”
Soonyoung is almost shaking in his desperate attempt to be good. “In- in you. Please.”
Jihoon’s mouth runs dry. He wants that, too. Wants to be full, to be so close he can’t tell where he ends and Soonyoung begins. “Well-“ he murmurs, hand withdrawing. “Since you asked so nicely.”
Soonyoung’s eyes blink open as Jihoon raises himself on shaky legs. He looks so cute, eyebrows furrowed as he fights the urge to steady Jihoon, desire to help and desire to be good fighting on his face clear as day. Jihoon loves him so much it hurts.
Impatient, he reaches a hand between them and grabs Soonyoung’s cock. “Don’t forget the rules, baby,” he breathes, as he lines himself up. Everything he wants, everything he has wanted is suddenly within his reach and Jihoon can’t keep down the soft sigh that escapes him as he feels that familiar press of Soonyoung’s head against his rim. “No touching.”
Soonyoung beneath him nods shakily and Jihoon can’t quite bite down his smile. He presses one last kiss against Soonyoung’s cheek, soft, before he murmurs, “Just let me use you.”
In response Soonyoung gasps softly, the sound trailing off into a moan as Jihoon begins to lower himself. Soonyoung’s fingers are a little longer than Jihoon’s own, a little thicker, and in moments like these, that makes all the difference in the world. As Jihoon sinks down on Soonyoung’s cock, he feels impossibly full, stretched to the brim, close to bursting. He feels so good.
As Jihoon bottoms out, Soonyoung makes a desperate little noise beneath him, but doesn’t touch. Jihoon is almost proud of him. Or he would be, if he could think about anything but Soonyoung’s cock right now. Still, as much as he’s missed it, he needs a moment to adjust.
Soonyoung’s face is a bright red, his eyes teary. He’s so painfully desperate, and still, Jihoon catches his worried glance at Jihoon’s face, making sure there’s no discomfort there. Jihoon would feel touched, if he wasn’t equally as desperate.
“I love your cock, Youngie,” he breathes into the air between them. “No matter how often we fuck, it always feels so good.”
Soonyoung whines high in the back of his throat, and Jihoon can’t help but laugh.
“What, baby? Can’t even talk anymore?”
“Please,” Soonyoung chokes out. “Hyung, please.”
Jihoon leans forward to press a kiss to the corner of Soonyoung’s mouth, the tiny movement enough to make Soonyoung whine again. “Tell hyung what you want.”
“Move, please,” Soonyoung almost sobs.
And, well- Who is Jihoon to deny his boyfriend, after he’s been so good? Tentatively, he raises himself up, just barely, before he lets himself sink back down. It’s barely anything, just a centimeter or two, but still, Soonyoung makes a sound like he’s been punched in the gut. Jihoon would laugh, if he was doing any better. As it is, he can’t do much more than moan against Soonyoung’s lips, repeating the motion.
Originally the plan had been to fuck Soonyoung into a sobbing mess, and while he’s missed that - Soonyoung, on his knees, begging for it harder, faster, he’s missed this too: that slick slide of him within Jihoon, the feeling of taking too much and still needing more.
It takes him a moment or two, but finally, Jihoon settles into a comfortable rhythm as he fucks himself on Soonyoung’s cock with slow, shallow little movements of his hips that leave him gasping into Soonyoung’s mouth. There’s a trick to teasing Soonyoung, something that should make them incompatible but never has, and it’s that where Soonyoung is all energy, fast paced in life, in love, in bed, Jihoon is a rock in the surf, steady, consistent.
Jihoon likes it slow and deep, likes to take his time and feel, even as Soonyoung shakes apart beneath him, desperate and close to tears. Absently, Jihoon leans back and rests a hand on Soonyoung’s knee, the angle changing just right, and without thinking, he tilts his head back to moan, loud and shameless as he continues to bounce himself on Soonyoung’s cock.
It’s almost a little cruel. After all, Jihoon knows that Soonyoung wants, needs more. Soonyoung wants to touch, wants to leave marks up Jihoon’s throat and down his chest, wants to fuck up into him and quicken the pace, but he doesn’t particularly care about what Soonyoung wants when the head of his cock pushes against Jihoon’s prostate just right with every tiny movement of his hips.
None of this is enough for Soonyoung, the pace too slow, not deep enough, but that’s part of the fun, to Jihoon. And, well- the whole point of this was to show Soonyoung exactly just how much Jihoon wants him.
“I should keep you tied up like this,” Jihoon gasps out, watching with half-lidded eyes as Soonyoung bites his lip in a desperate effort to keep from moving. “Use you whenever I feel like it.”
Soonyoung’s eyes fall closed as he moans softly, lashes wet.
Jihoon’s thighs burn, and still he speeds up the movement of his hips, if only to see the way Soonyoung thrashes beneath him, choking on a sob. Somewhere behind Jihoon’s navel something hot and familiar furls and uncoils, first warning sign that he’s getting close.
“I wouldn’t even need to tie you up, would I, Youngie?” Jihoon goes on, almost babbling, as Soonyoung can’t do much more that sit there as Jihoon takes whatever he wants from him. “You’d- ah- you’d behave for me.”
Jihoon grins, all teeth, even though it’s lost on Soonyoung. “You like feeling like a toy?”
Soonyoung whines and nods his head softly, eyes clenched shut.
“Look at me,” Jihoon commands, his own voice breathless, and Soonyoung obeys within a split second, clouded over eyes blinking open and finding Jihoon’s own. “Tell me.”
“I like-“ First tears begin to fall from Soonyoung’s eyes, everything too much and not nearly enough. He’s pushed to the edge, and still Jihoon won’t let him fall. “Like feeling like your toy,” he sobs out, and then, “’M yours, hyung.”
Something hot and heavy pools in Jihoon’s belly, a flash of possessiveness, and maybe that’s the heart of the matter. How could Soonyoung ever worry that Jihoon didn’t want him anymore, if Soonyoung belonged to him? If he belonged to Soonyoung just as much?
“Fuck-“ Jihoon breathes, hips stuttering in their movement as he reaches a hand between them to palm at his own cock. “Good boy.”
“Hyung,” Soonyoung chokes out, hazy eyes watching as Jihoon gets himself off. “’S not enough.”
Jihoon snorts, and then runs his thumb across his slit just as he sinks down on Soonyoung’s cock again, the sound trailing off into a needy moan. “I know,” he gasps, and then, “I don’t care.”
He repeats the motion, times his hand with the movement of his hips, pleasure white-hot and burning in his belly and his thighs, uncaring of the way Soonyoung cries beneath him.
“Please,” Soonyoung sobs, apparently the only thing left in his head. “Please, please-“
Jihoon doesn’t know what sets him off, whether it’s Soonyoung’s desperate pleading or the way the head of his cock grinds against that most sensitive place of him just right. It doesn’t really matter, as Jihoon throws his head back with a gasp, thighs shaking as he cums across his own hand.
“Fuck,” he moans, riding out his orgasm with tiny movements of his hips, just enough to have him feel good without overwhelming him. “Young-“
Soonyoung whines in response, mouth falling open as Jihoon brings his soiled hand up to his face without thinking. It shouldn’t really affect Jihoon as much as it does, this soon after his orgasm, but watching Soonyoung obediently lap up cum from the palm of his hand without even needing to be told- between them, Jihoon’s cock twitches almost valiantly.
They spend a long moment like that, Soonyoung licking Jihoon’s fingers clean as Jihoon attempts to catch his breath, Soonyoung’s cock heavy and hard where it’s still buried in his boyfriend but neither of them paying it any mind.
By the time Jihoon pulls his fingers from Soonyoung’s mouth again, his pupils are so blown, Jihoon can’t see the brown of his irises anymore. His breathing is heavy, his cheeks ruddy and wet with tears. There’s a speck of white on his lower lip, and Jihoon can’t help but lean in and lick it away. Out of the corners of his eyes, Jihoon catches sight of the way his hands are clenched so tightly they’re shaking, knuckles white in a desperate attempt to be good.
It’s cute. Jihoon legs feel like jelly, but Soonyoung is so, so cute, and- he’d been good. He’s still being good. He deserves his reward, Jihoon reasons inwardly. Even if he might regret it a little tomorrow.
“Young-ah,” he breathes, careful to keep his voice soft. Soonyoung’s in that sensitive state of mind where he needs to be handled with care, where Jihoon needs to pay attention not to break him. “You did well.”
He leans in to press his lips against Soonyoung’s, more soothing than anything else. “Do you want your reward?”
Soonyoung nods shakily. It’s fascinating, somehow, the conflict between his meek demeanor and the desperate hardness filling Jihoon up, still. Jihoon smiles.
“Touch me.”
Soonyoung’s shaking beneath Jihoon, and still, he behaves. “’M not allowed.”
Jihoon presses one last kiss against Soonyoung’s cheek before he leans back again. “Yes, you are,” he responds, pleasantly surprised at how steady he sounds. When Soonyoung doesn’t react, apparently too focused on being good to really understand what Jihoon is saying, he adds, “Give me your hands.”
And really, when Soonyoung gets like this, there’s no way he wouldn’t obey. Barely a second later, they’re hand in hand, Soonyoung’s shaky hands fitting perfectly into Jihoon’s steady ones.
“Well done,” Jihoon praises softly, as he slowly guides Soonyoung to touch his waist. Soonyoung keeps his hands where Jihoon leaves them, wrapped around either side of his hips, but then doesn’t do much more, too out of it to understand what Jihoon is trying to tell him.
“You’ve been so good,” Jihoon rasps out, encouraging. “So well behaved for your hyung.” Absently, he runs a thumb across Soonyoung’s wet cheek, his boyfriend leaning into the touch with a soft sigh. Jihoon feels satiated after his orgasm, the fire in his belly has long since died down to make room for something softer, gentler, but Soonyoung’s so, so cute. “Do you want to cum, Youngie?”
Soft and shaky, Soonyoung nods. “Please, hyung.”
“You can,” Jihoon promises gently, his thumb brushing a soothing pattern against Soonyoung’s tear-stained cheeks. “This is your reward,” he murmurs as Soonyoung stares at him blankly, uncomprehending.
“Use me.”
Soonyoung gasps softly as the words register, his hips kicking up against Jihoon more out of reflex than anything else. Sensitive as he is after his orgasm, Jihoon can’t quite bite down his own moan as Soonyoung’s cock brushes his prostate once again.
“Hyung-“
“Did you forget?” Jihoon asks, not waiting for an answer as he leans in to wrap his arms around Soonyoung’s shoulders, steadying himself for what’s to come “I’m yours, too.”
“Oh-“ Soonyoung’s hands clench momentarily, testing the waters. When Jihoon doesn’t do much more in response than bury his head in Soonyoung’s neck, pressing a kiss above his pulse point, something in Soonyoung snaps. He’s been pushed to the limit, denied release as he watched his boyfriend fuck himself to completion and now, finally, he’s allowed.
Strong hands hold Jihoon’s hips in place as Soonyoung grinds up into him almost experimentally, moaning softly as he bottoms out.
Jihoon digs his nails into the flesh of Soonyoung’s shoulder, oversensitive. “Good boy.”
Soonyoung whines at the praise, and then doesn’t stop. His hips snap up, hard and fast just how he likes, fingers digging into Jihoon’s skin with a bruising force as he forces Jihoon to meet his thrusts. It’s intoxicating, strong hands and hard cock forcing breathless moans out of Jihoon even as Soonyoung sobs desperately.
Everything is too much, his hole sore and used, but Jihoon doesn’t want it to end as Soonyoung selfishly chases his orgasm. Finally, his boyfriend is touching him again. Finally, they’re one again, moving together.
“Hyung,” Soonyoung cries softly, the movement of his hips stuttering as he gets close. “Hyung, oh god- please-“
“You- you can-“ Jihoon’s own voice is breathless and fucked out. He feels used, filled to the brim, but Soonyoung’s been such a good boy. “You can cum, Youngie.”
Soonyoung makes a sound that’s closer to a sob than a moan, fucking up into his boyfriend desperately, strong hands guiding Jihoon until he’s bouncing on his cock.
Jihoon feels his own eyes tear up as he takes everything Soonyoung has to give, moaning wantonly into Soonyoung’s neck. “Youngie-“ he gasps, voice high and breathless. “Baby-“
At that, Soonyoung comes with a sob, biting down hard on Jihoon’s shoulder as he fills him up, hips grinding a moment longer as Jihoon gasps at the feeling of being filled to bursting. Jihoon feels pleasantly used when a moment later, Soonyoung’s hands relax, not pulling away but not holding him up anymore either, and Jihoon’s legs are too weak to do much more than sink down on Soonyoung’s lap, full and content as they both try to catch their breaths.
There’s a soft press of lips against Jihoon’s shoulder, right where he assumes a bite mark is already blooming. Everything is quiet for a long moment, the only sound between them heavy breathing, until Jihoon feels cognizant enough to pull away from Soonyoung just enough to look at his boyfriend’s face.
The tears seem to have stopped in the wake of Soonyoung’s orgasm, but his cheeks are still ruddy and Jihoon leans in to kiss at his tear tracks, Soonyoung leaning into the touch more out of instinct than anything else. When he pulls away again, Soonyoung’s face tilts in his direction, and Jihoon cards his fingers through the soft hair at Soonyoung’s nape. “Feel a little better?”
“Hoonie,” Soonyoung says by way of responding. His voice is rough, used. “Not that I’m complaining but what was that all about?”
Jihoon smiles, caught. “I told you,” he answers, thumb running up and down Soonyoung’s nape. “I was worried about you.”
Soonyoung’s face does some complicated thing at that, eyebrows furrowing, lips parting. Jihoon doesn’t like it at all. “You shouldn’t-“ he starts, in that same tone he uses when he’s chastising Jihoon for not taking enough care of himself. “You’re so busy, you shouldn’t have to worry about me, too.”
Jihoon’s hand clenches in Soonyoung’s hair, pulling just enough to sting slightly. “Don’t be like that,” he responds. “I’m your boyfriend. I get to worry about you as much as I want.”
“But you shouldn’t have to.”
Jihoon rolls his eyes. “But I do.”
It’s clear from Soonyoung’s expression he wants to argue, keep the discussion going, and Jihoon really isn’t in the mood for that. He’s tired, and fucked out, and just wants to bask in the afterglow with his boyfriend. Thankfully, it’s fairly easy to get Soonyoung to calm down.
“And I missed you.” Jihoon says. “Did I not just show you how much I missed you?”
At that, Soonyoung’s cheeks turn a soft pink. “You did,” he mumbles, and then, “I missed you, too.”
Jihoon smiles and leans forward to bury his head in Soonyoung’s neck again, intent on staying just like that until his legs work again. Soonyoung seems to be happy with that arrangement, his hands beginning to trace a simple pattern into the skin of Jihoon’s back, a calming, familiar motion that has Jihoon feeling drowsy.
It’s like this, soft and comfortable in Soonyoung’s space, that he remembers that there had been a plan, once. Jihoon bites back a grin. “I was originally planning to fuck you till you pass out,” he says, nonchalantly, very aware of the way Soonyoung’s fingers have halted their movement on his hips. “But then you looked so pretty this morning.”
Soonyoung is quiet for a moment, stunned into silence by Jihoon’s sudden change in topic. When he speaks, he sounds suspiciously breathless. “You still can.”
“I can still what?” Jihoon asks, feigning innocence.
“You can still-“ Jihoon can practicality hear it as Soonyoung swallows, licks his lips. “You can still fuck me till I pass out.” A moment later, he adds, “If you want to?”
Jihoon feels pleasantly fucked out, tired and satiated, and still his cock twitches at Soonyoung’s words. Fuck, he thinks to himself, he’s easy when Soonyoung gets cute.
Jihoon snorts. “You’re lucky you’re so cute,” he says, and then, “Give me twenty minutes?”