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It was a horrible day.
The school festival was an organizational nightmare, Sae’s fixation on the case was growing to the point where it could be classified as an obsession, Akechi’s power plays were far more effective than she wished them to be, and the whole discussion about them being Phantom Thieves coupled with vague threats and ominous, coercive promise of ‘cooperation’ was just the cherry on top.
And now, instead of just going to her probably empty home, Makoto had to stay behind to make sure the rest of the festival would go smoothly.
Just amazing.
Well, she got to see Akechi choking on a spicy takoyaki, so perhaps it wasn’t all bad.
By the time she started packing, it was already getting dark outside and all she wanted to do was sleep. For the entire week, preferably.
Seized by her ruminative thoughts, Makoto almost missed the woman who waited for her near the school entrance. If not for the hand that grabbed her arm, she would’ve just blindly passed her by.
Not hiding her irritation – because really, why would someone think that touching her so unceremoniously was respectful - Makoto turned around, the annoyance flying out of her as soon as she met with a pair of blue eyes. “Ann?” She furrowed her brow, suddenly not at all concerned about the grip that pleasantly warmed her arm. “What are you still doing here?”
“Waiting for you, what else?” A dulcet chuckle filled the space between them as Ann’s eyebrow arched up. “You promised me a dance, remember?”
“You-” Makoto blinked at her apathetically, not following. Yes, they chatted for a while before she got dragged into this whole logistical hell, but that was hours ago.
She did recall Ann mentioning something about dancing at the festival, but she paid little attention to it at the time. “I’m sorry, I assumed you were joking.”
Ann tilted her head, still smiling brightly. “Why would I joke about that?”
Makoto’s lips parted before she thought of an answer.
She almost blurted out that nobody would ever think about seriously asking her for a dance. Nothing about her screamed she would want that, and her somewhat stand-offish demeanor wasn’t helping either.
And it was true, at least - the last thing she needed was for some random people to watch as she flailed and struggled in what a kind soul would maybe vaguely describe as 'dancing'.
But she knew Ann too well by now. She could predict the scowl that would form on her face, how she would not only redouble her efforts now but swear to change Makoto's attitude, to make her comfortable in her nonexistent dancing skills, probably going way too far with it.
Like, ‘booking-a-dancing-session-for-the-two-of-them’ too far.
Something similarly ridiculous had happened once or twice already.
So, instead, she blurted out the second thing that came to her mind, “Ann, I can’t dance.”
Which sounded way better and wasn't exactly untrue.
But it was perhaps a little too pathetic of an excuse since Ann didn’t seem too concerned about that detail. “Too bad you promised me already.” Her hand slid down to clasp around Makoto’s wrist as she started leading her back into the school.
“I didn’t realize you were serious about it!” she huffed but otherwise didn’t protest that much when she was dragged through the hallways, absentmindedly adjusting her hand so that Ann’s fingers clutched at her palm instead.
It was just more comfortable that way.
Ignoring the curious glances they got from the still loitering around students, Makoto tried again to dissuade Ann from doing… Whatever she was trying to do. “The festival is done anyway, there’s no music to dance to.”
The grip around her hand tightened for a second as Ann squeezed, sending Makoto a roguish smile over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I have a plan.”
If that was meant to assuage her, it didn’t really work.
Still, despite the anxiety that pooled in the pit of her stomach, she let Ann drag her up the stairs with surprising ease. The prospect of dancing wasn’t really filling her with much enthusiasm, but how could she refuse if Ann seemed so eager?
She would relent if Makoto firmly declined, about that she had no doubts. But then she would probably pout and sulk around for the next couple of days, withdrawing a little as if she was worried that she had crossed some nonexistent line.
Makoto didn’t really get that reaction. It’s not like she was scolding her or anything when she declined a wildly foolish idea-
“I’m not letting you ride Johanna with me!”
“Why not?”
“What do you mean ‘why not’?! It’s unsafe!” She glanced across the school desk at Ann, a frown that formed on her face getting slightly indignant. “I won’t be able to see anything with you in the front and there’s not enough space to sit in the back,” she explained, not hiding her perplexion at the idea of sharing her Persona like that. “Unless there’s some emergency, I will not risk crashing us into a wall or a shadow.”
“What if I sat behind you? In the seat, I mean.” Ann’s gaze avoided hers, too focused on the strings of her hoodie she kept ardently twisting between her fingers. She looked a little abashed and Makoto wondered if she unintentionally intimidated Ann with her a tad too resolute demeanor. “I could hold on to you. For safety.”
Makoto blinked, unsure why the mental image of Panther pressed closely to her back made her throat go dry. “That’s… Still not really safe.”
-or an outlandish invitation-
“I’m sorry, a what?”
“A movie marathon night!” Ann beamed at her, barely taking the time to chew her crêpe properly before swallowing half of it in three seconds flat. “Classics like Onibaba, Tetsuo, Kuroneko, even Perfect Blue!”
Contrastingly, Makoto’s smile ebbed as Ann kept naming more movies. “Horror films?”
“Yeah!”
“Why? Halloween isn’t for another month.”
“Dunno, I just saw a flyer about it.” Ann shrugged dismissingly, wiping the strawberry filling from the corner of her lips. “We could go, take the best spots in the back, buy a ton of junk food. Oh, I can bring a blanket for us!”
Makoto shuffled nervously, idly watching as Ann’s thumb brushed over her lips, how the tip of her tongue followed the movement a second later. “I’m not really a fan of horrors.”
Ann giggled at that, her expression turning ever so slightly playful. “Don’t worry, you can always grab my hand if you get scared.”
Makoto turned her head away, suddenly acutely aware that she’d been staring. “Thank you, but I really think I will pass.”
-even if she had to admit that she sometimes wanted to say yes.
Just to avoid seeing Ann so… Dejected. Self-conscious, almost.
It really didn’t suit her.
So yeah, what if she didn’t want to dance? It was a small sacrifice to keep Ann happy.
Makoto quickly realized where they were going as she was led up yet another flight of stairs.
“The roof?”
“Yup!”
The first thing she noticed when the wind cradled her face was the coldness of it. Not that she expected anything else – late October wasn’t known for being the warmest, after all. Days have been getting really chilly lately, presaging the slowly approaching winter.
And it was late evening, with the sun long gone. Makoto would be more surprised if she didn’t feel the small shiver running down her spine.
The prolonged silence pushed the idle thoughts away, chaining her focus back to the girl who still held her hand for no reason.
Ann seemed a little lost in her own head as she gazed to the side, eyes notably vacant and poignant.
Without really thinking, Makoto gently squeezed, hoping that the gesture was at least half as reassuring as she wanted it to be. “How is she?”
“Doing better, I think.” Ann took a second before responding, trying to find the appropriate words to string together. “She goes to physical therapy, and it does seem to help. But she keeps grinning at me, constantly,” she sighed, turning her head back to Makoto with a small smile, “so it’s hard to really tell, y’know?”
An understanding hum reverberated in Makoto’s chest, saturating the air between them only for a moment before the wind claimed the sound as its own. “Progress is always hard. I’m glad she has you by her side to help her through this.”
She didn’t want to blurt out empty platitudes, even if she truly believed that Shiho would be okay. Just imagining how many times both of them heard the variations of ‘everything would be fine’ during the past few months, especially when spoken in this commiserating, lightly pitying tone…
Ann let go of her hand, but not before returning the squeeze. “Thanks, Mako.” Her smile got slightly bigger, finally reaching her eyes. “You should come with me to visit her one day.”
“I don’t think Suzui-san would really want me there.”
“Nonsense, of course she would!” Ann huffed, her voice tinged with both amusement and incredulity as she started moving the chairs out of the way. “She actually wants to meet you properly.”
When Makoto moved to help, she was just waved away. “Not that I’m opposed to the idea, but why?”
“She said that it’s kinda weird that she knows so much about you when you spoke, like, three times in total.”
Makoto narrowed her eyes at the, this time, carelessly uttered sentence, for a couple of silent seconds just watching while Ann worked. The simplest answer as to why Shiho knew anything about her, especially so much to want to meet, was also the most ludicrous.
“You speak to her about me?”
Instantly, Ann stilled, her hands remaining pressed to the table she was just pushing aside. “Ah, um, yeah?” she stuttered a little, not glancing back in Makoto’s direction. “I guess, not constantly of course, just, y’know, we talk about the everyday stuff, and I basically see you daily, and-” The air left her all at once as her sentence turned into a swiftly ejected exhale and a shy shrug. “You know.”
Makoto really didn’t know.
“Oh. Yeah.” She nodded, bemused both by the reaction and the fact that Ann was telling her best friend about her for some reason. Really, didn’t they have more interesting things to talk about?
“And I would like for you two to meet,” Ann added softly, her gaze suspiciously stuck to the phone that she just fished out of her bag.
“Yeah,” Makoto absentmindedly repeated, a little lost in thought.
No wonder it took her a second to fully absorb Ann’s words and react to them properly. “I mean, yes, if Suzui-san wants me to, then of course, I would love to visit her.”
Ann finally looked back, beaming with this wonderful smile that chased away the rest of Makoto’s confused thoughts. “Great! I’ll, uh, let you know when,” she promised, putting her phone down on the table before she beckoned Makoto closer. “Now, no more distractions, put your bag down.”
Right, they were still supposed to dance.
Here. On this cold roof.
Just the two of them.
Makoto tentatively obliged, leaving her bag on one of the chairs. “Ann, what are you-”
She wasn’t sure what she expected. Maybe for Ann to spin her jokingly once or twice, let her stiffly shuffle for a song or two, declare that it was just a pretext to show her something else, or that it truly was just a joke she kept up for too long.
Anything was more probable than her suddenly tapping her phone and playing some classical music.
Especially the waltz.
Out of all possible things, Ann picked the most stereotypical, iconic Strauss waltz.
Makoto stared at her like she just sprouted a second head.
Which clearly made Ann self-conscious since she laughed awkwardly, her hand quickly traveling to rub at the nape of her neck. “You alright there, Makoto?”
She couldn’t really tell for sure in the semi-darkness, but she would swear that Ann blushed a little.
Makoto really didn’t know and really wasn’t alright.
Clearing her throat out of the sudden dryness, she glanced at Ann’s phone, its screen still lit up. “I expected something more…” Her hands waved weakly in the air as words tripped over her tongue.
Laid-back?
Brief?
Mostly non-physical?
“… Casual,” she huffed quietly, nervously stroking her elbow.
It was just a waltz. She knew the basic steps, everyone did. And even if she somehow forgot in a sudden onset of amnesia, nobody was here to judge her for it.
Besides Ann, that was. But she really had no reason to be nervous in front of her - Ann would never laugh, no matter how bad she was.
“I thought this would be less… Intimidating?” She shrugged, an apologetic smile tugging at her lips. “I can throw on something catchy if you’d prefer that.”
Watching as Ann’s hand moved to turn off the quietly playing music awoke something jumpy, tense inside Makoto. It pinched at her insides, pooled down in her gut, made her step closer without really thinking. “No, no, you don’t have to.”
Ann’s inquisitive, borderline hopeful stare wasn’t helping to calm this jittery feeling.
After taking a moment to remind herself to breathe, Makoto summoned a small, taut smile. “Waltz is okay,” she reassured, watching as the tension in Ann’s shoulders abated a little.
Because it was okay. It wasn’t like this would be the first time they ever touched; they held hands for the entire way up here for God’s sake.
This was no different than when Ann tiredly leaned on Makoto’s shoulder when they were riding the subway. Or when she draped her arm around her as they walked through the crowded, narrow streets of Kichijōji. Or when she brushed her hair away when they were studying.
The point was, Ann liked the physical contact; Makoto really shouldn’t be surprised at her music choice.
And there really was no reason to be nervous about this.
So, when Ann chuckled and bowed theatrically, extending her hand toward her, Makoto certainly didn’t feel anything doing an elaborate flip in her chest, definitely not. “May I have this dance, then?”
Diffidently, Makoto came closer, gently reaching out to accept the invitation. Pressing their palms together, Ann tangled their fingers, bringing them up while her right hand found purchase on Makoto’s back as she grabbed her shoulder in return. There was this wall of air that separated them, a gap for the cold wind to nestle and swirl in.
When Ann quickly swiped to rewind the song, Makoto could only really think about how warm her hands were, how pleasant her smile was, how gorgeous her eyes looked in the dimness.
And then Ann started moving, so she unthinkingly followed like it was the most obvious thing in the world, unaware of the blush that started creeping onto her face.
Thankfully, she did remember the easy and repetitive steps.
It reminded her of the lessons the school held in the gymnasium last year, when she was paired with a mortified guy who gripped her like his life depended on it, avoiding eye contact, and stiffly moving his torso as he tried really hard not to step on her feet.
Except this felt drastically different.
Ann was confident now, after they actually started dancing, despite the clearly uneven strides and steps they settled on. Her touch was caressing, gently steering instead of just pushing Makoto into the next movement. They seemed to flow together, slowly shrinking the gap, by some miracle not bumping into anything on their way.
And the eye contact, unfaltering and ardent, seemed to pierce right through Makoto.
She expected the spins, a tad clumsy and uncoordinated, as Ann led her across the roof. The dip was a little abrupt, making her gasp quietly, but the arm that supported her was strong and firm, promising not to drop her no matter what.
What Makoto didn’t expect was the sudden change in the distance between them after Ann pulled her up, giggling as her hand remained pressed to her lower back. Suddenly, their hips were together, thighs brushed, and Makoto didn’t want to pull away.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
She laughed instead, pushing the urge away. She was just a little cold when Ann was very warm, there was no point in overdramatizing and acting on this need born from the shiver that tickled her spine.
Ann twirled them once more, pushing them back, and the next thing Makoto felt was a worrying lack of balance as she lost her footing, heel hitting something heavy and unmoving. Reacting on instinct, she clenched her fingers in Ann’s shirt as she yelped, realizing too late that all she did was just pull them both down.
She waited for the ground to plant a bruise on her back, grunting in surprise when she hit something soft instead. Noticing she closed her eyes sometime during the descent, she opened them now, observing a few things at once.
First, they must’ve tripped over one of Haru’s planters, safely landing in a pile of bagged soil that dampened their fall. Thanks to that, unfortunately, what once was a neatly stacked pyramid was turned into a mess of turf, sand, moss, and other organic matter Makoto couldn’t recognize in the dimness.
Second, Ann’s arms were wrapped around her, strong hands cradling her head and back to protect them from the impact. Completely unnecessarily, but the gratitude Makoto felt at such a simple move almost caused her to melt into the embrace.
Last, a body was pressed on top of hers, golden ponytails splayed to their sides, a cheek pressed into her heaving chest.
Before Makoto’s mind fully processed all of that, the pressure on her body disappeared as Ann lifted herself up onto her elbows. Her eyes were full of concern, lips parted as if she wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what, a couple of different sentences crashing together in the back of her throat.
Makoto’s stare jumped back up, failing to meet with the blue as Ann did the exact opposite, dropping her gaze down to glance at her lips. The sudden urge to close the distance between them came back twofold, and Makoto felt overly warm again, like if the cold just didn’t matter anymore.
Like they were on a precipice of something she still completely failed to grasp.
Before Makoto decided what to do, the dilemma sorted itself out as the indistinct rustle she subconsciously kept noticing grew to the point where she couldn’t ignore it anymore, and a bunch of soil spilled from the opened bags above, directly onto them.
She quickly covered her face, turning her head away. It helped a little, protecting her eyes and mouth from getting hit with a handful of compost, but it still got everywhere else – into her hair, her clothes, she even felt some rattling around in her boots.
Ann was in a similar state, intuitively burying her face back into Makoto’s chest to protect it from the rain of dirt.
Well, at least her shirt wasn’t as marred by soil as it could’ve been thanks to that.
Even after the unexpected torrent stopped, they remained in those positions, both too confused and a little too dumbfounded to react immediately.
Makoto was the first one to break as soft chuckles started escaping from her mouth. Soon, they were both incessantly giggling, the tension in the air dispelling like it was never there in the first place.
Neither of them made a move to separate, even after their laughs inevitably died off. Makoto wasn’t sure when her arms found their way around Ann’s frame, but she didn’t seem to mind, returning the gesture by sneaking her hands under and encircling her back. The palms that pressed into Makoto’s completely relaxed shoulder blades were warm, comforting, and absolutely welcomed.
The music ended a while ago, but the silence wasn’t problematic - it calmed Makoto down, stabilizing her heartbeat as she moved her gaze to look up at the sky. The night was just awakening, susurrating through the barely visible stars and wind, and everything seemed just so… Unimportant.
Sae, Akechi, Phantom Thieves, every problem and fear she harbored paled under the pleasing weight and warmth of Ann’s body, in this soothing silence, surrounded by the smell of fresh soil.
For the first time in God knew how long she was just… Content.
Close to actually feeling happy.
Makoto hoped she wasn’t alone in this sentiment.
“Ann?” she whispered into the night, unaware of how her fingers kept gently caressing the blonde’s back for some time already.
A questioning, pleased rumble answered her, and Makoto smiled at the faint note of sleepiness she heard there. “Thank you for asking me to dance.”
“Well, thanks for agreeing,” Ann muttered with a chuckle, her breath warming Makoto’s chest as she seemed to nuzzle closer, setting her cheek near the top of the breastbone.
Makoto vaguely, subconsciously, wished they could just stay like this for the rest of the night.
“Mako?” Ann spoke up again after a few minutes passed, reluctantly lifting her head up.
“Hmm?”
“Do you think Haru will be mad that we ruined a year’s worth of her soil?”