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“Actually… yer kind of my best friend. So Tsumu’s wrong and I’m right.” The declaration comes when Rintarou least expects it. He’s in the middle of kicking a bunch of hilichurls’ asses when Osamu says it.
Osamu finally got a decent smartphone after years of using the same old one. Rintarou couldn’t let the opportunity pass. It was too easy. He promised Osamu to help him with Onigiri Miya social media posts on one condition: “You gotta play with me. It’s a cool game, we can play together even when we’re apart!” And the result of this bargain exceeds ‘cool’. Rintarou has been helping Osamu in co-op mode on Genshin Impact for the past week and it’s been fun every time.
Since he left for Shizuoka, their endless afternoons of gaming have been more than sparse. He misses playing with Osamu. Rintarou misses both that and Osamu. Today, though, he gets to enjoy gaming and Osamu’s company because he’s spending his three-days break in Osaka. And Rintarou — being the good friend he is — is in the middle of wiping out several groups of level 82 enemies for his ‘you leveled up your world too fast, aho!’ bestie. Bestie. Kind of a best friend, at least, according to Osamu.
Rintarou lowers his phone in his lap and frowns at him over his bent knees.
“I’d ask ‘ how so’ but let’s be real. That’s not the fucking problem here. Kind of? Seriously, dude? What does that even mean? Like is it conditional? Only on Mondays or if I wear a certain shade of blue?” Rintarou asks before he stretches to grab the bag of cheese crackers.
“Ya don’t wear blue, it's a bad color combination with yer eyes,” Osamu says and he’s frowning too, but at his own phone. “Fucking forgot I don’t have my full rotation in co-op…” he mumbles before tossing the device away.
Osamu extends a hand next, reaching for the bag of crackers. Rintarou doesn’t move to pass the snacks. He’s gaping instead. “What?”
“I got in a fight with only Sayu and Lisa…”
“No, I mean… Ugh, please it hurts every time you remind me you still play Lisa,” Rintarou says with an aggravated sigh. “Whatever. What was that about my eyes?”
“Dude! I don’t have any other electro character yet, cut me some slack,” Osamu protests before crawling over Rintarou’s side of the bed to snatch the snacks away. “And ya said that during summer camp last year of high-school, by the way.”
Rintarou’s face scrunches up in bewilderment. He watches Osamu gobble down a handful of crackers. His lips are covered with greasy yellow dust when he removes his hand from his face. They should not be snacking in bed but that’s where Rintarou slumped to take a nap earlier. Not that it matters right now. Rintarou’s brain hurts from all the overthinking he’s doing.
“Last year of high-school… like eight years ago?” he asks, just to make sure he heard right.
The crease between Osamu’s brows deepens while he seems to focus as if he’s counting. Rintarou is stunned into silence. This man is impossible. It takes longer than it should for Osamu to count but then he beams and proudly says: “Yeah! Eight years ago seems right. Shit, that’s so many years. We’re old, dude.”
“Osamu…” Rintarou doesn’t even know what to say. Sure, they’re getting older. They’re twenty-six. He’s known Osamu for nearly half of his life. They’ve been best friends for a solid third of it. Rintarou can count fast. Way faster than Osamu. The only thing he can’t count are the years he’s been in love with his best friend. Kind of best friend. Screw that.
Not that Rintarou ever dwells on it. He also knows there’s nothing malicious behind Osamu’s words. It’s his usual candor speaking. Rintarou could leave it at that. But for some odd reason, he can’t. He doesn’t consider himself a masochist — hearing Osamu call him his friend won’t kill him. But even if Rintarou made his peace with it long ago, it’s not always the most pleasant thing to be reminded of.
“Yes?” Osamu inhales another couple of crackers like a raccoon.
“Why is your brother wrong, this time?” Rintarou decides to ask. To keep himself busy, he picks his phone back. Osamu’s Lisa is dead. Serves her fucking right. He wipes out the few hilichurls crawling near where Sayu has been abandoned on the brink of death.
“He says we’re like an old married couple.”
If they were the protagonists of a teen movie, Rintarou would spit out his crackers. It would be very cinematographic — like a firework of yellow sparks in slow motion. However, since it’s a lazy mundane afternoon, he merely sucks in a breath. Rintarou thanks all the gods his mouth is empty and Osamu is too busy stuffing his own face to notice the minute change in his expression.
It’s easy to regain his composure anyway. Osamu is too naive for his own good. Moreover, Rintarou is too trained in bypassing his own feelings not to be able to joke about something like this. “I stand corrected. He’s actually not wrong for once.”
What he doesn’t expect is for Osamu’s jaw to drop, though. Rintarou quirks an eyebrow. It’s silly to see Osamu act the way Rintarou taught himself not to, in that kind of situation. And it’s sillier that Rintarou can’t shut his mouth when Osamu says: “Ya think?”
“I mean… You’re letting me snack in your bed. There’s crumbs everywhere.”
Rintarou has seen Osamu kick Atsumu in the ribs just for walking into their bedroom with some wrapped melon pan before.
“Yer not a messy eater,” Osamu says, and for an absurd reason, he sounds slightly nervous.
“You are, though. But you’re sitting with me eating your fill while we play a game I kind of bullied you into playing,” Rintarou goes on, not knowing why.
“It’s fun to play. And yer being my communication manager for free, so who’s bullying the other?” Osamu tries to sound smug but he averts his gaze pretty often for someone who wants to appear like he has it together.
Rintarou circles his legs with his arms and slots his chin between his knees. Maybe that way, he can keep in check the quickening pace of his heartbeat.
“You picked me up at the station although I didn’t ask because you’ve got my train schedule memorized,” Rintarou says. And as he enumerates all of these things, it dawns on him — albeit too late. He’s playing himself, royally.
“Don’t be a dumbass! Ya hate commuting from the station.”
“Not as much as you hate driving around Yodogawa ward.”
“Shut up, Rin. That’s got nothin’ to do with it. Of course I’d do it for ya,” Osamu says, pointing an accusing finger at Rintarou as if he’s wrong.
Sure, that’s what best friends do. And sure enough, Atsumu is an idiot for calling them anything other than the bestest of buddies in the whole world. But Rintarou has a hard time thinking he’s wrong this time. Although wishful thinking or delusion it is, he’s not certain. His only certainty is that he needs some air. Teasing Osamu doesn’t have the same light and fun flavor as usual. It’s bittersweet today.
Rarely do Rintarou’s feelings become suffocating but there are times when he wishes he could just wipe them out like a hoard of hilichurls. One swirl and it’s over. And then they can be best friends only. No gross butterflies in his stomach involved. No what ifs. No feeling stupid or frustrated when Osamu is the only person in the whole world who gets him, yet Rintarou can’t get him.
“I gotta… konbini run,” Rintarou mumbles, dragging himself across the mattress. He picks up Osamu’s discarded hoodie on the way — his basketball shorts and tee-shirt are too light for the weather. “Do you need anything?”
Rintarou is halfway through putting on the garment when Osamu’s voice breaks the awkward silence: “Yer not freaking out, are ya?” He sounds unsure — like he’s dreading something. Rintarou tugs on the fabric to free his face and remains half stuck. He must look pretty ridiculous; yet he can’t be bothered with it. Osamu has seen him doing the lamest things and he’s still by his side. Assuming the ‘kind of best friend’ position like a pro.
“Freaking out? What—no, why?” Rintarou asks in one breath. Nice try. With such an epic fail at sounding composed, even Osamu doesn’t buy it. Doubt remains painted all over his face.
“Because of me doin’ all these things as if we’re a married—”
“We’re fine. It’s fine, Osamu,” Rintarou says, yanking the hoodie in place and speeding toward the bedroom door. “I just want something fresh to drink. I’m not freaking out.”
His hand is on the doorknob when Rintarou’s world tilts on its axis. It’s a few words, but it’s enough for Rintarou’s throat to run dry: “Good. Because I think I am. And I kinda need ya to be the normal one.”
Rintarou can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times Osamu has sounded this serious since they met. The last time was when he called and told Rintarou he wasn’t sure he could make it through culinary school. Before that, Rintarou remembers Osamu telling him he’s quitting volleyball and he doesn’t know how to announce the news to Atsumu. Then, there’s the day Rintarou shared his biggest secret with Osamu – and for the first time with anyone. And the way Osamu, unwavering, told Rintarou he’d always be there for him, no matter what. Against the world if he had to.
Rintarou can’t say if that’s also the day he realized he was in love with his best friend. He knows sometimes Osamu opens up with him and lets Rintarou be vulnerable or that he embraces his own vulnerability. And everytime is a painful reminder Rintarou can’t and doesn’t want to get over him. This time isn’t different. Rintarou’s pulse throbs in his temples. His fingertips prickle.
Osamu needs him to be the normal one? What if Rintarou fucked up and Osamu saw through him? He’s been too careful, there’s no way Osamu realized anything. Rintarou needs to ask regardless. “What do you mean?”
They’re grown men. Osamu tripping over himself because they’ve been chillin’ in the hot tub less than five feet apart makes no sense. Unless he knows about Rintarou’s feelings and it makes him uncomfortable. Or…
Rintarou turns around but he doesn’t look at Osamu. His eyes go wider as his gaze follows an invisible thread. He’s trying to make sense of the nonsense. The only other conclusion in reach is inconceivable.
“Walk with me… I—What if I think Tsumu’s not so wrong?”
“Osamu?” Rintarou’s eyes settle on Osamu’s face. He’s twisting his own fingers in his lap and looks utterly helpless. It gets worse when Rintarou gapes at him. As crazy as it sounds, Osamu isn’t uncomfortable with Rintarou’s unrequited feelings. In fact, Rintarou has to cope with the unfathomable. And there’s no way he’s reading the room wrong.
The problem is that Rintarou never waited for Osamu, so he doesn’t really know what to do. By chance, Osamu keeps running his mouth, giving Rintarou time to collect his thoughts. Time he spends with his stupid jaw on the floor, at a loss for words. Of course, Osamu panics.
“Wait—Oh man. Yer gonna freak out. I’m freakin’ out! What the heck am I doin’? I said not to freak out—”
His rant makes Rintarou spring into action. Whether it’s the end of ‘ kind of a best friendship’ or not, he can’t see himself walk away. In a flash, his knees hit the mattress and Rintarou grabs Osamu’s hands. He tells himself it’s to make him stop fidgeting but the truth is he needs to touch Osamu. Rintarou doesn’t have a second to spare to think about it.
“Then don’t,” he says and realizes too late he moved too fast. Osamu is spooked, either from the sudden proximity or because of Rintarou’s touch. He yanks his arms back while Rintarou’s grip gets tighter in reflex. That’s how they find themselves nose to nose a mere second later. In the most literal sense.
Osamu’s breath smells like cheese crackers. It’s the vivid depiction of what Rintarou imagines his husband’s breath would smell like on a lazy afternoon after years of being married. Not that his mind should wander there. However, the odd thought somehow grounds him. Enough to pull back and sit on the bed – close to Osamu. Osamu looks like a deer caught in headlights. His hands are stuck midair at weird angles. His body is rigid.
“Feel free to keep doing whatever you’ve got going on while I’m the normal one. I’m no longer going anywhere,” Rintarou says. He’s not as calm as he sounds, but he’s glad Osamu has too much going to see it.
It works. It takes a few long seconds but the stiffness in Osamu’s shoulders disappears. “Sorry I panicked,” he mumbles after another silence.
“Don’t be. Wanna talk about it?”
“Rin… How the hell d’ya want to just talk about it? Where do I start? Why are ya so chill about it?” Osamu says, both hands flying to tear his own hair out.
“Well, first off, until you actually elaborate, there’s no reason for me to panic.” Rintarou shifts on the bed to gather his legs against his chest again. He’s closer to panicking than he’ll admit, yet he can’t help but be hopeful. “Secondly… Since I got an idea of why you’re freaking out, I’ll just say ‘been there done that, dude.’ Way before you.” His voice wavers on the last part as Rintarou presses his face into his knees.
“Oh my god,” Osamu breathes out. He then closes and opens his mouth a few times without uttering a single world. And out of all the things Osamu could gasp once he’s collected his thoughts, he chooses: “Tsumu’s freakin’ right…”
Rintarou’s ugly laughter isn’t lost on Osamu.
“Is that all you got?” Rintarou says when Osamu snorts. “Eh. Fine by me. If you’re more horrified by Atsumu being right than by us being a married couple, that is.”
“Right… Shit,” Osamu curses. His smile is shy but his posture is more and more relaxed. “So we’re talkin’ about the same thing.”
“I fucking hope so. You just realized it, though, didn’t you?”
Rintarou’s legs unfold. Osamu is flabbergasted. “Ya didn’t? Wait—how long?”
At least, if things go wrong, Rintarou can find solace in knowing he’s masked his feelings well enough. Best passing award goes to Suna Rintarou. Category is ‘pretending not to be in love with your best friend’. The irony makes him snicker. He clears his throat when Osamu looks at him in confusion.
“The truth is… I don’t know. It’s kind of blurry to me. Osamu…” His nerves get the better of him again, but it’s now or never. Rintarou takes a deep breath and looks him straight in the eye. “I’m fine with being ‘kind of your best friend’,” he says, quoting the words with his fingers. “But if I’m honest, I wouldn’t mind if we were an old couple.”
There’s a before and an after his confession. Rintarou feels lighter after the admission than he thought he would. It’s odd. Although, is it, really? Osamu never made him feel anything but safe. He proves it again when he rubs the back of his head and gives Rintarou a sheepish: “Yer never going to let me live this one down, are ya?”
Rintarou can’t help but smile. It’s way easier than he’d have thought. He doesn’t like the way it makes him yearn, but he knows he should consider himself lucky. Rintarou could even be hopeful. He knows better, though. “I’ll let it go. I’m super good at not dwelling on stuff like that.” He bats a nonchalant hand in front of his face; dispelling his own feelings with it.
Osamu catches it midair. Warm, clammy fingers curl around Rintarou’s own. His heart feels like it deflates in his chest. Like he’s ran a marathon. Osamu moves closer. He’s almost sitting between Rintarou’s legs by the time he says: “What if I don’t want ya to.”
Rintarou wonders if Osamu’s lips taste like cheese crackers. At least, it’s the only thing his mind decides to focus on so he can get a grip.
“I might be slower than ya, but looks like I wouldn’t mind us bein’ an old couple either.”
Rintarou loses control of his body over this. He finds out he can squeak. He has a feeling his legs would have given out under him if he wasn’t sitting on the bed. No matter how sensible Osamu seemed to be on the matter, Rintarou didn’t expect this. Maybe he could never have been ready. It’s been years, after all. Yet everything is so casual. The Liyue OST is playing in the background on both devices. Although the tune has a gentle – almost romantic – vibe, they’re not playing in sync. Much like Rintarou’s heartbeat going wild. The crushed bag of crackers leans dangerously to the side – ready to spill the rest of its content in the sheets if they move too fast.
That’s why Rintarou speaks slowly. His eyes are glued to the threatening snacks. “It’s only credible because I know you wouldn’t prove Atsumu right on purpose.”
“Ya know what else is credible? Us avoiding the elephant in the room,” Osamu says. He gives Rintarou’s hand a gentle squeeze.
“Speak for yourself.” Rintarou’s throat feels tight. He wants to laugh, but Osamu is so close to him. It makes him think about all the other things he wants to do. Osamu gives him a ‘really, now?’ look, head tilting to the side. Rintarou wants to grab him by the collar and show him.
“Tell me how little you've been dwellin’ on it, then,” Osamu says. His challenging look finds Rintarou’s eyes.
“Or… I could distract you to get out of this complicated situation.” Rintarou is stalling. It’s more imminent than he’s ever dreamed of and he’s stalling.
“Yeah. Of course my long-time husband would find a way.” They both blush like major idiots at that. Osamu’s cheeks and ears turn pink while Rintarou’s face feels like a furnace. “Don’t doubt yerself, okay?”
Osamu’s last words come as a surprise. He whispers them in the small gap left between them. He’s not even trying to pretend he’s confident. But with his encouragement, Rintarou can be for the both of them. If he’s not sure he can call himself his long-time husband, it’s long overdue for him to act like Osamu’s boyfriend.
Rintarou’s hand shifts in Osamu’s hold. He intertwines their fingers together. Rintarou might be more nervous than he’s been in a long time, but he’s rarely been that happy. He leans in first, but Osamu is the one who cups his jaw with a gentle hand. Love tastes like cheese crackers dust. And their first kiss tastes like sweet victory.
Rintarou can’t help it and smiles. It’s not the sexiest thing to do, but the rush of dopamine makes him a bit stupid. He can feel Osamu do the same against his lips. Rintarou’s stomach does a backflip when Osamu’s mouth stretches even more and he gives Rintarou’s lips a teasing lick.
Rintarou’s spine tingles, warmth spreads into his belly. These aren’t sensations he’s familiar with, but Rintarou rolls with it. It’s not the first time Osamu is responsible for making him feel a certain type of way. An unfamiliar way. It’s pleasant, though. He wants more of it.
Rintarou straddles Osamu’s thighs and deepens the kiss. Osamu groans against his mouth. His tongue breaches Rintarou’s lips and there it is again. The warmth in his belly is turning into a wildfire. It spreads down Rintarou’s thighs, up his chest. Osamu’s hands are splayed on his shoulder blades, keeping him close. Rintarou doesn’t know what comes over him but he grinds down in Osamu’s lap. Osamu nips at his tongue too hard for it to be playful. Rintarou doesn’t pay much attention to it — the friction sparked something inside him. He didn’t expect the bulge in Osamu’s shorts, but now Rintarou can’t stop rolling his hips. Osamu’s hands travel down. They stop over the small of Rintarou’s back. He itches to go lower, Rintarou can tell. From Osamu’s shaky breath to the way his fingers dig into the fabric of his tee-shirt.
Rintarou doesn’t hesitate. He guides Osamu’s hands himself, until they grip his ass instead. It makes Osamu break the kiss, though. The cheese cracker dust is cleaned off. His lips are shiny with spit instead. Rintarou could get lost in the hooded eyes looking up at him. Osamu’s pupils are blown wide, the thin gray circle around them a shade darker than usual. He knows every shade of Osamu’s irises, because they are an old married couple. He’s never seen this one, though.
“Are we… makin’ out?” Osamu blurts out his silly question. Rintarou is stunned for a second, then cackles.
“Nope. Totally playing a new Genshin mode,” he says with a sly smirk. He tries not to wriggle in Osamu’s lap but Rintarou feels restless. To find out that making out feels great was not on his bingo of the year, but he’ll take it.
“Ugh, shut up, dude.”
“I was shutting up,” Rintarou protests when Osamu starts to pout. “Was very much shutting up with your tongue down my throat.”
“Yeah! So we were makin’ out. My brain isn’t oxygenated properly right now, bear with me. I said that because I was wondering if… ya know… that was gonna be it,” Osamu says, struggling. His face turns pink again. Although he’s brave enough to keep the eye contact. “Not that I’m issuing any complaint!” He’s quick to add before looking away.
Rintarou stops smirking for a bit. His heart swells in his chest. Osamu didn’t have to specify that. Rintarou knows him too well. He’s concerned. Because he knows how Rintarou feels about making out – or having sex – in general. And it’s not much. Rintarou used to be so uninterested by it all that he learned about the proper labels only a few years ago. He doesn’t really bother using them either. He brought it up with Osamu maybe twice, since then.
Discussing his sexuality with the best friend he’s been pining for used to be a con, once. Now, it’s another reason for Osamu to be considerate about him and Rintarou isn’t sure he can handle this much. He must stay quiet for too long, because Osamu’s hands are suddenly cupping his face.
“Hey, nevermind. I really enjoy kissing ya.”
“Me too,” Rintarou says – so fast, he feels breathless. “It’s valid, though. I wasn’t thinking much, to be honest. It just felt good.”
“We can keep doin’ what feels good, then,” Osamu says, his thumb stroking Rintarou’s cheek. “Can’t believe I’ve been dumb enough to miss out on this for so long.”
“That’s what happens when you don’t listen to your elders.” Rintarou’s smirk comes easy. As easy as kissing Osamu. Although he can’t kiss him when his face contorts into a disgusted pout.
“Ew! Never say that again. Don’t even mention ‘im!”
“Then go back to shut me up. And don’t worry about doing anything that feels good,” Rintarou says before pecking the corner of Osamu’s lips.
Osamu lets go of a shaky breath. “Stop me whenever.”
Rintarou nods before he shuts his eyes. The next kiss is the sweetest thing he’s ever experienced. Osamu has a hard time pacing himself, yet it’s so obvious he’s trying. Rintarou pushes him down after another minute of Osamu struggling with keeping his hands on Rintarou’s back.
Osamu is still hard. Rintarou doesn’t think he can get enough of the little sighs Osamu makes whenever their bodies touch. It does something to his stomach and his heartbeat. He feels hot under the collar – between his legs too.
Osamu bends one of his knees and his thigh presses against Rintarou’s crotch. It makes him gasp into the kiss. Rintarou’s face grows hot as he turns away. The pressure feels so good, he can’t help but grind on Osamu’s thigh. It’s not enough, though. Rintarou nips at the skin under his ear as he parts Osamu’s legs open and snakes in between them. Osamu doesn’t hesitate when he grabs Rintarou’s ass, this time. He pulls him in with another, louder sigh. Rintarou bites his own lips as grinds onto Osamu’s hard cock. The fabric of their shorts and boxers is thin. Rintarou can feel everything.
“Still wanna go on?” Osamu asks, breathless.
Yes. Rintarou nods in the crook of his neck. It feels damp where he’s panting against Osamu’s neck. He knows why Osamu is asking again. And he knows it’s probably not the last question he asks. Because Osamu cares about Rintarou enough to be mindful even when he’s about to burst in his pants.
“How d’ya wanna do it?”
Rintarou closes his eyes tight, his face scrunching up. Osamu is still undulating under him — Rintarou doesn’t want it to stop. The friction is too good. One thing is clear in his mind: he wants the both of them to come. For Osamu to unravel between his hands.
Rintarou isn’t embarrassed when he props himself up on his hands to look Osamu in the eye, yet he’s not the most confident when he says: “Without having to think too much, preferably.”
He hopes it doesn’t kill the mood. If anything, Rintarou wants the opposite. He might not have been much interested in sex all these years, now that Osamu is part of it, it’s somehow different. Rintarou probably has to learn as much about himself as Osamu does. But not too fast or too soon. Not thinking it through when he just got to have his hands on Osamu. When Rintarou’s senses are overwhelmed.
“Right!” Osamu blurts out. There’s an adorable mix of eagerness and concern on his flushed face. “Sure, I’m yer guy! Look, no thought, head empty, only Rintarou.”
And well, Rintarou wanted to feel something and he’s not disappointed. His heart explodes in his chest. He deserves a medal for not outing himself all these years. Osamu is always unapologetic about how important Rintarou is to him. Although, a medal is stupid. Rintarou wasted so much time, but he refuses to dwell on it. That’s why he’s not surprised when the words leave his mouth: “Osamu… Ah, fuck. I’m in love with you.”
Osamu’s reaction is so endearing, Rintarou wants to punch the air. His hands leave Rintarou’s ass and fly to hide his face instead. Osamu peeks at Rintarou through his fingers. His forehead is the same deep red as their old uniform jackets.
“Get used to it. You’re gonna hear it some more,” Rintarou says, removing Osamu’s hands from his face.
“I’m a fuckin’ fool,” Osamu mumbles.
“Yeah. But I dig it. Fell in love with a fool.” Rintarou enjoys teasing Osamu, but there’s something more to it than usual.
“Takes one to know one.” Osamu finds the courage to answer despite looking like a mess. His arms go up around Rintarou’s shoulders, pulling him down. He waits for them to be nose-to-nose to whisper: “I dig it too.”
Rintarou can’t stop touching Osamu after that. He paws at his tee-shirt, claws at the waistband of his shorts. Osamu’s hips chase after him when Rintarou’s hand brushes his hard-on. Finding out he can be needy is another thing that sends shivers down Rintarou’s spine.
Osamu doesn’t interrupt him when Rintarou’s fingers slide past the waistband of his shorts and boxers. Rintarou follows the coarse hair of his happy trail. His heartbeat is thrumming with anticipation. Although nothing can prepare him for the way Osamu moans into his mouth when his fingers curl around his dick. It throbs in his palm as Rintarou pumps his fist. It makes him miss the delicious friction from earlier, so he straddles Osamu’s leg again. Rintarou feels dizzy. Osamu kisses him like he’s starved. He bucks his hips in time with the movement of Rintarou’s hand although Rintarou can feel him squirm a few times.
He stops rutting against Osamu to look down and realizes his mistake. Osamu looks lost when Rintarou gets on all four to drag his shorts down. Rintarou needs to make it wet. So, without thinking, he brings his hand to his face. His eyes are glued to Osamu’s hard dick.
Except he doesn’t lick his palm. His stomach does another outstanding somersault — qualifying for the Olympics before Rintarou does. Osamu’s eyes track Rintarou’s gaze. He looks feverish but the fog clears up when he understands what’s on Rintarou’s mind. It’s not like Rintarou is hiding his intentions anyway. The idea of going down on Osamu is so tempting he’s licking his own lips.
“Rin, wait. Two things,” Osamu says, propping himself on his elbows. He needs to catch his breath before he can go on. Rintarou would laugh if he wasn’t so excited. Knowing he can turn Osamu into that kind of mess is even better than making fun of him. “I haven’t showered today.”
“Oh.” That takes Rintarou aback. He didn’t think about that. He’s not sure it bothers him, though. But instead of saying so, he waits for Osamu to go on. It can’t only be about him. Rintarou wants to pay attention to him as much as Osamu does.
“I—I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Don’t get me wrong! It’s kinda the dream but… I’m already gonna die. I’m this close to die with all the stuff that happened today. So… Is it okay if we just—”
Rintarou doesn’t mean to cut him short when he pushes Osamu into the mattress. “Oh shit, sorry,” he says as Osamu’s breath catches in his throat. “But don’t worry! It’s fine. Totally fine.”
“Ya sure?”
“Osamu.” Rintarou would grab his face if one of his hands hadn’t been on his dick just now. He leans into Osamu’s space to make himself clear. “Less thinking. If you say no, it’s no and if I say it’s fine, it’s fine.”
Osamu seems to be about to say something but thinks against it. He nods instead, then he’s eager to reclaim Rintarou’s lips. He grants Osamu one peck before Rintarou pulls away to go through with his original plan. Osamu’s jaw drops as he watches Rintarou lick his own palm and suck on his fingers. But he’s quick to shut his mouth again. He bites back a moan when Rintarou’s wet hand wraps around his dick. Rintarou takes it as a challenge.
His mouth latches on Osamu’s neck. If Osamu is his boyfriend, there’s nothing wrong in leaving a hickey somewhere, is there? Osamu grips a handful of Rintarou’s hair but he doesn’t try to stop him. He makes delicious noises while Rintarou sucks on his sensitive skin. And Osamu completely abandons the idea of trying to stay silent when Rintarou starts pumping his fist faster. Osamu’s blissful sigh when Rintarou licks and nibbles at his ear makes Rintarou squirm. His hips move by themselves. It dawns on him that he’s thrusting against Osamu’s leg. Rintarou wants to fuck him. He wonders if Osamu will be up for it. Rintarou’s pace picks up, his fingers tightening around him.
“Fuck,” Rintarou groans, sneaking a hand between his legs. He could be inside Osamu, make him lose his mind. He palms himself over his shorts, shutting his eyes tight.
“Rin. If ya keep goin’...” Osamu, panting, clutches his shoulders.
“Yeah…?”
Osamu doesn’t say it but Rintarou knows he’s near. He plants his feet in the mattress, ass off of the bed so he can give quick thrusts into Rintarou’s hand. Rintarou slides against his thigh, his hand trapped between Osamu’s leg and himself. The sound that comes out of his mouth doesn’t sound like Rintarou at all. It looks like it triggers Osamu’s orgasm because the moment he hears it, Osamu curses, his body going taut under Rintarou. His full body reaction does more than sweeping Rintarou’s embarrassment away. It makes him come as well. It takes him by surprise but Rintarou rides it anyway.
It’s overwhelming, but something anchors Rintarou through it. He can’t take his eyes off of Osamu. Even when he slumps back on the bed, completely limp and groaning, Osamu looks fascinating. The look of bliss on his face can’t compare with any expression Rintarou has ever seen him make. Bashful Osamu is something, but that vision of ecstasy is on another level.
Rintarou readjusts his damp boxers and crawls over Osamu to kiss him again. Osamu’s eyes flutter open, then there’s another long sigh before he crushes Rintarou into a hug.
“I don’t feel like an old married couple at all,” Osamu groans. He sounds pleased. Then he kisses Rintarou on the forehead and adds with a hoarse voice: “Thank you for—ya know… Thank you.”
Rintarou chuckles. “My pleasure. Literally,” he says with a smirk. “How do you feel?”
Osamu has a hard time craning his neck to look down at their crotches and entangled legs. It looks like even the tiniest movement costs him a lot. “Did ya…?”
Rintarou nods and his smirk gets wider. “So how do you feel?”
Osamu’s head falls back into the pillow. “Like a teen who just had his first time with his crush.”
“So… rejuvenating, then?” Rintarou says, biting his tongue. Osamu seems a bit embarrassed but over the moon. Euphoria seizes Rintarou’s body.
“Fuck yeah. Time for the honeymoon phase.”
“Are you going to take me on a romantic trip?” Rintarou asks. He draws an abstract pattern on Osamu’s chest with his finger. Osamu stays still but his left hand rummages behind Rintarou’s back for a moment before Rintarou recognizes the familiar music that starts playing again. Osamu must have unlocked his phone. It’s funny how he didn’t even notice their phones going quiet. Or the bag of crackers falling to the ground.
“Sure. Can take ya all the way to Sumeru. Yer gonna have to help me unlock Fontaine if ya want to eat some fancy french food, though.”
The smile on Rintarou’s face can’t get any wider. In fact, he bursts into laughter. Because, sure, Osamu is funny but most of all, Rintarou is overcome with joy.
“Just say you need me in your world, Osamu,” he says when he’s calmed down. Osamu wraps an arm around him to squeeze him tight.
“I said it from day one when I asked ya to help me explore fuckin’ Teyvat,” Osamu says with a shrug. Then he locks eyes with Rintarou and the intensity of his gaze makes him shiver. “But maybe I should say it more clearly. I do. I need ya every day in my life, Rin. Because yer the person who knows me best and I don’t want to know anyone else like I know ya.”
Rintarou’s throat closes up. “Shit got serious real fast,” he breathes out, because it’s the only thing he can do to avoid being destroyed by his own feelings. It makes Osamu giggle. He’s laughing at Rintarou but he isn’t mad.
“Did it? I thought ya started with the serious shit when ya confessed yer life-long crush. Or when ya kissed me. Or when ya tried to suck my—”
Rintarou slaps his hand on Osamu’s mouth. “Okay okay, okay! I get it. We’re serious.” Osamu almost chokes from laughing against Rintarou’s palm, so he lets him go. But not without warning him. “Behave.”
“Sure. Hey, I still gotta take notes here. We might be an old couple, but I don’t know every fuckin’ thing, yet. Ya know… Somethin’ to do with the fact that it took ya years to—”
“Osamu, I’m going to kill you dead.” Osamu’s unfazed knowing look stops him dead in his tracks. Rintarou slaps his chest. “Hey! How is it gonna be my fault? Who’s so dense it took his own twin to figure it out for him?”
“Bro, ya know I suck at romance,” Osamu protests.
Rintarou scoffs. “Yeah, I can tell. My boyfriend calls me bro.”
“And I’ll do it again,” Osamu says, face twisting into a grumpy pout.
“Be my guest, dude.”
There’s no surprise in the fact that they start laughing again a couple of seconds later. Rintarou is on cloud nine. They’re not the best at these things – romance, sex – but he has a feeling they’ll have a blast working on it. Because like Osamu said: they know each other best. And Rintarou learned one thing through all these years. They both know how to go out of their way to make each other comfortable and happy. And when it comes to working things out…
“By the way,” Rintarou says when it’s time for Osamu to move to the shower. “I think I know how I want to do it, next time.”
Osamu stops in the middle of the room, crossing his arms over his chest. He looks cocky when he turns toward Rintarou. “Oh. Now yer thinking it through?”
Rintarou shows no mercy. “After hearing the noises you can make? I fucking am.”
Osamu gapes. Then he’s tearing his t-shirt off of him in a flash and throws the heap in Rintarou’s face.
“Nice kill,” Rintarou teases as he ducks to avoid it without much effort. “Don’t be mad, okay? I really liked it. A lot. I kinda need to hear more of it.”
Osamu’s blush is so phenomenal it creeps all the way down his bare chest. Rintarou is quick to join him, tugging on his shorts to force Osamu to face him.
“You don’t have to be shy. But we don’t have to talk about it if—”
“Tell me.” Osamu can’t even look at Rintarou when he mumbles his request but his fingers find Rintarou’s ones so he can entangle them. Rintarou’s heartbeat picks up suddenly. He wants Osamu to say it.
“Tell you what?”
Osamu heaves a long sigh before he cages Rintarou in a hug. He can’t look at him this way, but he can whisper into Rintarou’s ear: “I wanna know what we’re gonna do next time. What yer gonna do to me.”
In the end, Rintarou is glad they’re not facing each other. He’s confident, but this form of intimacy is new and challenging. He plays with Osamu’s spine to keep his nerves in check. His voice is as low as Osamu’s when he says: “Earlier when I was touching you… I thought it would be nice to be inside of you.”
Osamu’s sharp intake of breath and the way his arms tighten around Rintarou’s body makes him tense up. But then, Osamu kisses Rintarou’s temple before he tells him: “Crazy, I was thinking the same.”
“Really? You’d be okay with it?” Rintarou shouldn’t be surprised that things are this easy with Osamu. He is grateful when Osamu frees him from his embrace to search his gaze.
“Just to be sure. Yer askin’ if I’m okay having more amazing sex with my boyfriend? Who wants to do plenty of amazing things to me?”
Rintarou’s lips quiver into a sheepish grin. “Be careful, maybe I’m asking for the right to obliterate you,” he says, trying to laugh it off.
Osamu immediately throws his hands in the air, looking like he’s just been blessed. “Thank fucking god!” He jabs a finger into Rintarou’s chest next. “Do not let anyone come between ya and yer noble quest. I’ll be yer biggest ally.”
He’s so over-the-top, but it gives Rintarou his confidence back. He pats Osamu on the arm. “You’ve been my biggest ally since day one,” he says with a smirk. It makes Osamu frown, puzzled. But then his face lights up when he understands.
“Yeah, I guess it’s true. And I’m renewing my allyship for this crucial mission. Just tell me what I can do for ya.”
Seeing him be this fired up is thrilling. Rintarou can’t remember how many years he’s been pining for this dense guy, but he’s certain his feelings will last many more.
“Sure. How about we do some online shopping, then?”
Once more, Osamu is hit by confusion. “Online shopping?”
“Yeah. You were my ‘kind of a best friend’ all these years. I guess I can trust you to help me find a nice dick.”
“Oh! Ooooh…” Osamu’s eyes get bigger as realization dawns on him. After that, he looks like an excited puppy. Rintarou wants to make fun of him, but the truth is, he’s too relieved for that. Relieved Osamu is cool with him, with them, with his feelings. And with who Rintarou is. “I get to choose?”
“You get to help. I’m choosing,” Rintarou says, walking past him. “It’s my dick.”
“I’m so fucking lucky, oh my god! Being married is so freakin’ awesome!” Osamu almost chants from happiness and excitement as he follows Rintarou out of the bedroom.
“You’re moving way too fast.” Rintarou pretends to protest but he’s chuckling like a dumbass.
Osamu catches his hand before Rintarou can disappear in the toilets. He kisses his knuckles, his pretty hooded eyes sparkling with mischief. “I wasted literal years. Yer stupid if ya think I’m ever goin’ to be slow again when it comes to ya, Rin.”
“Miya Osamu! Don’t rizz me up or I’ll do something drastic,” Rintarou warns him. He’s hopeless, his knees have turned to jelly just from that little declaration.
“Like obliterating me? I’m fuckin’ scared, oh no!” Osamu teases him before he closes the bathroom door behind him. “Whatever am I gonna do with a hot boyfriend who wants to wreck me?” Rintarou can hear his fake lamentations through the door. Osamu lives for the drama.
“You think you’re so funny.”
Of course, Osamu is. It’s one of the dozens of reasons why Rintarou has had a crush on him for years.
“I know I am! Just bagged the cutest guy thanks to my charms,” Osamu says through the door, sounding too proud of himself.
“That’s not how I recall it. You panicked and tripped over yourself. Don’t stay in the bath too long, obviously the steam makes you spew dumb shit.”
Rintarou doesn’t linger around after that. No way he’s letting Osamu take this as a challenge to serenade him again. His heart can only handle so much for one day. Rintarou better gear up. For sure, he and his ‘kind of a best friend’ have quite a few eventful years ahead of them.