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31st of the Wyvern Moon
Today is the first day of what may be my last experiment, but not the first experiment I’ve attempted within the last moon. I have ripped out this page to put in the front of this journal, to be more convenient for any potential readers wishing to know what has led me to my fate. Let me preface this by saying that I do not regret what I have done. I am of sane mind and aware that there may be risks that I could not have predicted. I have made this choice in the hopes that I may aid my wife and even the small potential of hope to alleviate her is enough to resolve me. If you are reading this then it is likely that my experiment succeeded.
22nd of the Wyvern Moon
Marianne and I arrived at her birth family’s estate last night. Our plan had been to stay the night as Marianne perused for anything she found worthwhile. We were warned on our way up that a storm was coming in so we were able to procure extra supplies. Thankfully, I travel with extra blankets. I am grateful to whichever townsperson warned us and would like to track them down as soon as the snow stops enough that I can see outside.
Marianne was up late and up early as I am not sure I noticed her in bed last night, but it’s hard to find someone who keeps the same hours as me. I assume this must be difficult for her but she hasn’t talked about it. I write this journal to note an unusual strange unexpected gesture from Marianne. As I was still sleeping, I woke to the doors flying open and Marianne scrambling onto the bed. She wouldn’t say what was wrong, she wouldn’t say anything besides “keep this away from me” as she gave me a key. Once I took it and finally agreed she relaxed and said she was going to make a fire. I have hidden the key (it is in between my third edition of Crestology: Volume 4 and my fishing guide). I know that Marianne and I respect each other enough to know that she won’t read this journal unless I lend it to her.
I am quite concerned by her erratic behaviour, however I know that grief can be unpredictable. I will find a way to offer her comfort in a way that is indirect. I tried to be direct on our way up but I fear that had the opposite effect. She grew quieter throughout our approach. And despite what others might have you think, I am aware that emotions are not a problem to be solved. Marianne does not usually behave like this but I know I would behave strangely if I was forced to return to my childhood home and my parents aren’t even dead.
I informed her that she can talk to me about anything difficult. She smiled and told me she appreciated that but has not yet taken me up on my offer. Instead she asked me about my research, which was such an obvious deflection that even I had picked up on it. Still, I answered her curiosities over lunch.
Her eyes looked so distant as she turned away.
23rd of the Wyvern Moon
Marianne did not come to bed last night until late. I was struggling to sleep due to how loudly the wind was howling. It’s possible that one of us had forgotten to close a window. She did come to bed eventually. I was still awake but we did not speak. I woke again to an empty bed.
The snow continues to fall outside. I have found this place to be quite cold. There might be a draft coming in somewhere. Today I plan to search the house to see if there are other fireplaces or a breeze entering through a window. Thankfully, there is a fire in the library. I am not sure what exactly Marianne does all day. I see her at mealtimes. Neither of us are particularly skilled cooks but we manage to get by when we combine our skills. I assume she is sorting through the house, but I am respecting her privacy. I would like to spend the afternoon with her. Over tea perhaps? Marianne does not love Angelica tea but it was the only one I traveled with.
With faith magic there is a clear practical application after the war. With reason it is not quite as simple. Certain spells appear like they can have uses, such as the idea of using Fire to start a fire, however it is difficult to control the power of the spell. I have been attempting to limit the energy I put into the fire spell but it seems as if it would take
Perhaps this would be better suited to my research journal.
25th of the Wyvern Moon
Marianne was noticeably more … assertive last night in bed. This is not an unheard of phenomenon but it is not exactly a common one. Certainly not one I would expect from her in her current state. I would be lying if I said that it was something that I don’t enjoy, but it stood out based on her other exceptional behaviour this week. It differed greatly from the muted moods she is in during the day. I slept through the night last night but did wake up to find myself alone in bed. This is not concerning as I have grown to expect it. The house is quiet. I will go find her.
Marianne was seated in front of the fire when I found her. The light of the flames had cast her face in shadows. And when she looked at me, her eyes seemed impossibly dark. She looked beautiful, as always, but devastating.
As I was changing for the day I noticed prominent scratch marks all over my back. Again, while this is certainly not unwelcome, it is a deviation from the norm. If this was the only deviation I would hardly notice, however I have taken note of it.
26th of the Wyvern Moon
Marianne slept in today. Much later than she has ever slept in before. Late enough for me to have woken up and also gone downstairs to prepare breakfast. When I returned to wake her for breakfast she complained of her head hurting. Hopefully some food will help.
She smiled at me over breakfast. I’ve never noticed how sharp her teeth were. That explains the marks on my neck that I woke up to.
I awoke during the night to the sound of banging coming from within the house. Marianne was no longer in bed so I went to find her and the source of the noise. I found both in the same place. Marianne was slamming her hands against a door on the other end of the house. She did not respond as I called her name. The door had been covered in a thick layer of ice.
She did not seem to care, or notice. I did not want her to injure herself but I also did not want to risk waking her mid-sleep walking, if that was what was happening. I waited with her. She sat and stared at that door for a bit longer. And then she stood and headed back to bed.
Once in bed she seemed semi-conscious so I asked how she was. She complained that her head hurt and then fell asleep.
27th of the Wyvern Moon
Marianne has been in bed all day. I rose before her today and concluded that some extra sleep might help her headache. I brewed her tea and brought some fruit to the bedroom. She was still asleep.
I offered her a massage after she woke. Once she stood in front of me I noticed that we were the same height. She was not wearing any footwear so somehow she must have grown over the past few days.
She pointed to where her head hurt the most and I felt two bumps where she had indicated.
I have not heard of any illness of which symptoms include bumps growing in the head and sudden growth spurts. The library here is my only option to try to find an answer so I will remain here all day.
28th of the Wyvern Moon
Whatever is out there is undoubtedly still Marianne as she is respecting my privacy as I write this. But she has changed from the Marianne I arrived here with. Every slight change that stood out to me these past few days has only been exaggerated. Her nails and teeth are both longer and sharper. She is at least a head taller than me. Horns are growing out of her head where the bumps were. There might be more but those were all I observed in the brief moment before I excused myself.
Her eyes are the same.
The sound of crying was loud enough to interrupt my sleep.
Marianne was there in her ripped nightgown. She stopped crying. She just stared at me from across the room.
I am not sure what she’ll do once I go back out there.
Something in this place has caused Marianne to transform or has triggered a transformation that was already within her. I am dedicating myself to discovering what has happened to my wife. Dawn has only just arrived so I have a full day to use for research.
I have caught a few rats from the basement to use in my experiments. It is not ideal and I know that Marianne would not approve. I’m not sure I even approve. But I need to figure this out. I must try to discover what has changed her in the hopes that I can discover a way to change her back. I will find the cause. And I will find how it transferred itself to her.
Experiment 1: tea and food
I have kept three rats in one room. I was unable to find any cages for them besides bird cages. One has been fed bread that we brought. One has been fed Angelica tea. One is being kept as a control subject. I will check on them twice a day to observe any differences. They all appear healthy. Will take into consideration that any changes could be due to a drastic change in environment.
I have drank and ate mostly the same as her so it is unlikely the food and drink is the cause. I can not completely rule it out as there is a chance that I am the exception to whatever could be in the food and drink.
Experiment 1, check 1, morning of 28th: no discernible changes
Experiment 1, check 2, night of 28th: no discernible changes
One of the other rats has disappeared. I will assume it found a way to escape and not assume anything else.
29th of the Wyvern Moon
I have not seen Marianne since yesterday morning. I have heard her. Anytime she sounds close my body instinctively freezes.
Experiment 1, check 3, morning of 29th: no discernible changes. It has been a full day. I had wondered if anything would change during the night but there is nothing new to observe so I will proceed with my next experiment alongside this one.
Experiment 1, check 4, night of 29th: no discernible changes
I wonder if she could be nocturnal now. Perhaps that has been gradually affecting her throughout our stay here.
The storm has calmed outside. The world looks empty.
A rat ran by me today in the library.
Sometimes I hear them at night. I hear her too.
Experiment 2: spit
There is potential that whatever has infected Marianne is transmitted through fluid. The most likely sources for this would be saliva and blood. I will begin by acquiring a fluid sample to transmit to a rat. I have a plan for this. Hopefully my trust in her is not blinding me to the risks.
Marianne was in the bedroom.
She pinned me up against the wall. Her long claws brushed a strand of hair out of my face, gentler than I thought they would be. Her dark eyes never looked away from mine. I was breathing quite fast. For several reasons. It is quite the rush to be trapped by a creature who can very visibly overpower and destroy you. It is a different kind of rush when that creature is your wife. She leaned down and nuzzled my chin until I tilted my head. I felt her breath on my throat. And then her mouth. Right over my pulse. Suddenly she tore herself away and ran off with a cry.
I had what I needed.
I heard her wailing for the rest of the night.
No immediate changes after transferring the saliva to the rat. I will check back in the morning.
30th of the Wyvern Moon
Experiment 2, check 1, morning of 30th: no discernible changes
Experiment 2, check 2, night of 30th: no discernible changes
Time continues to go by and Marianne has not changed. Except for her horns continuing to grow. I do not know if she sleeps, if she does it is not in the bedroom. I assume she spends most of her time at the door. The house is a mess. Is she upset? Is she searching for something? I continue to prepare two dishes each meal, which continue to be eaten at some point of time. She has not spoken to me. She does not seem to remember the key she gave me.
She simply stares at me whenever she sees me. If I try to speak, she leaves. If I move towards her, she leaves. It is uncannily reminiscent of when we had first met.
Is this our life now? If I can’t find a way to fix this will she never be herself again?
Experiment 3: blood
I would prefer not to go into great detail about this experiment but I know that keeping thorough records is the only thing that will help myself and others. Marianne had wounded her knuckles on the door so I healed them and bandaged them up. This was the closest I had been to her since last night in the bedroom. I tried again to talk to her but she left as soon as she was healed. After cleaning her wounds, I kept the bandages instead of disposing of them. A disgusting thing to do. I made sure not to come into contact with the blood myself, something that I have always been quite skilled at. I wrapped some nuts in the bandage and placed it in the next rat’s cage. Another rat was kept in a different cage in the same room and fed nuts that were not wrapped in bandages. This was not the most practical experiment but it was the only one that my stomach could stand, as long as I don’t let myself think about it.
No immediate changes in either rat within the first hour.
I will check again in the morning.
31st of the Wyvern Moon
Experiment 3, check 1, morning of 31st: no discernible changes
Experiment 3, check 2, night of 31st: no discernible changes
Perhaps the rats are simply too different from a human being for the sake of this transformation. Or perhaps direct transmission is the only way. However I refuse to experiment on another human being. But I can’t stop my efforts now. I need to do something. I need her back. I know what I must do.
5th of the Red Wolf Moon
This will be my last entry on this subject.
I used the key. It opened the door to a child’s room. Marianne was upset to see that it had been opened. As for what was in there, I am not sure. It was not for me to see. I let Marianne have privacy in that room.
When she left, she looked more like the Marianne I had fallen in love with.
I am still the same man that I was.
I packed our bags and let Marianne say her goodbyes as I added all of our remaining logs to the fireplace. I asked her if she wanted me to light it. She wanted to be the one.
Whatever she had found there, whatever she was leaving behind, we didn’t look back at it as our carriage took us home.