Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

There were ten encounters in total.

Ten fleeting moments when Skylar and Cirrus' lives collided during the ninth grade. 

They didn’t know it then, but every mundane act or shared silence was shaping something bigger. Something neither of them could yet understand.

*** When the Flower Blooms ***

Their first encounter was in early May. The flowers were on the verge of full bloom and it felt like the start of something new. 

The sounds of the middle schoolers playing echoed the field; The cheering, passing, trash-talking, and the steady bang of the ball being kicked. Cleats scraped against the damp turf as the players ran. 

Over at Jamsil Middle School, Chan-il had convinced Cirrus to join their school’s soccer team, even though it was nearly the end of their first semester. It was the kind of pull only Chan-il’s good reputation could get you. Everyone on their team loved him, so they allowed it. 

“Who's the new kid?”

“What the hell, did he just join? It’s about to be summer break soon!”

“Maybe it’s because he's really good?”

“Doubt it.” The rival team of Eonju Middle School snickered. Today was a match between Jamsil and Eonju, over at Eonju middle school’s field. Since the two schools were only about a 15 minute walk away from each other, they often played together as practice. 

The schools’ rivalry was familiar, but that didn’t stop the tension from creeping in during their matches.

Skylar’s mind was somewhere else. While the rest of the team was focused on the game, Skylar was busy fighting his own internal battles. He was stressed, distracted, trying desperately to get his head back in the game.

Skylar sideswiped the ball with his foot, sending it perfectly into his teammate’s path with just enough momentum to keep the attack going.

His dad had left. 

His mom was attempting damage control by cooking elaborate dinners and working longer hours. 

And when Skylar was home, well, it didn’t really feel like home at all.

Soccer was supposed to be his escape, a way of dealing with things. It always had been. Ever since he was a kid, he loved the feeling of his heart racing as he sprinted across the field, the rival team on his heels but never quite able to catch him. The rush, the thrill—it made him forget everything, just for a little while.

Except now.

In front of him, two players—clearly distracted as well—chatted in the middle of the game. Chan-il was spending his time reassuring the “new kid” that he was doing great. All while the new kid barely attempted any passes and just stood there, head down like an idiot. The sight was really starting to piss Skylar off. 

All he could notice was Chan-il and the new kid, standing there, smiling like they had nothing to worry about. It was really diverting his attention, and dragging Skylar’s extraneous thoughts back to the surface.

Mom must be so exhausted with all that extra work.

I really miss Dad.

Ha-yeon’s so annoying, why can’t she take care of herself already?

I wish I was older so I could just live on my own.

My teammates are lowkey assholes.

Except Minwoo. Minwoo is—

Skylar watched as Chan-il touched Cirrus’s shoulder, patted him on the back, and flashed a big, stupid smile. They seem close. 

I guess everyone acts like that with their friends.  

Is that all I’ll ever be to him...a friend?

“Wheeeee! Alright, wrap it up! Halftime!” the coach’s whistle blew across the field. 

Skylar had had enough. He stormed toward the sidelines, eyes locked on the duo. “Hey, carrot top!” Skylar yelled, voice sharp with irritation. “You do realize we’re in the middle of a fucking game?!” 

“Uhhh…Sorry are you talking to me?” Chan-il asked, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. Cirrus stood awkwardly behind the orange-haired boy.

Before Skylar could continue, Minwoo came up behind him. “Yo cool it and come to the back”.

Skylar clenched his jaw, glancing over his shoulder at Minwoo before giving the duo one last glare. “Just keep your head in the game and don’t get in our way”.

~

“This is why I hate playing against Jamsil’s team! There’s always something with them,” Skylar muttered. He gathered around the back of the school with a few guys from the team. 

“For real,” One of the boys agreed. “They think they can pull whatever shit they want just ’cause they’ve got more money.”

“Bigger school, bigger field, better equipment. Spoiled brats” another boy said.

“Remember when they canceled our last game for no reason? What was that about?”

“Whatever, man. Let’s just focus on winning this one,” Skylar said, trying to stay on track.

Minwoo grabbed Skylar’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. A way to mess with them.”

Skylar raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”

“You know that kid with orange hair— Chan-il. His arm’s all wrapped up—looks like he’s playing through an injury. If we apply some pressure when he’s in possession, we could throw him off. Target their team’s weak spot by messing with star players.”

“What are you implying?” 

“His arm, Skylar…”

“That’s cheating,” Skylar said concerned. 

Minwoo scoffed. “C’mon man, don’t be a wuss.” 

“It’s just—”

“Don’t be such a pus—”

“Oh, screw you. Fine, I’ll do something,” Skylar snapped.

“There we go,” Minwoo said with a smirk. “Thought you were gonna flip out on us again, flipper .” He ruffled Skylar’s hair before turning back to the game. 

“Okay, okay, time for the second half, everyone back in position!” the coach exclaimed. 

Skylar kept his eyes locked on Chan-il, the star forward for Jamsil, who was starting to make a break down the field. Target their team’s weak spot by messing with star players. 

Skylar wasn’t one of Eonju’s stars. His role was more in the background, assisting the forwards, setting up plays. His strategy right now was to watch him closely as the game continued and mirror his moves, like a shadow waiting to strike. 

The moment came quickly. Chan-il received a sharp pass at his feet, and Skylar saw his chance.

With a burst of speed, Skylar closed the gap, throwing a sharp elbow into Chan-il’s injured arm just as he moved to control the ball. Chan-il winced, backing off from the sudden shock of pain. That slight hesitation was all it took for the ball to roll free across the grass and into the possession of the other team. Skylar shot a quick glance back at Minwoo for reassurance. 

He gave him a smile, but a knot of uneasiness tightened in Skylar’s chest. That was a cheap move. He shook off the thought, forcing his focus back to the game. The game resumed, the sounds of cleats slamming into the turf and the ball being passed continued. Skylar returned to his usual role, keeping the ball moving to his teammates who made the shots. And then it all ended with a blur, Eonju had won.

~

It was after school, and the sun had finally dipped below the horizon. Skylar and Minwoo were at their usual spot, hanging out with a group of older boys in a dimly lit alley near the tutoring center. It was the kind of place that bridged the two schools together, being right in the center.

Skylar leaned against the rough, grainy brick wall, a cigarette dangling between his fingers, the faint glow from the tip casting a soft shadow on his face. He stared off into nothing as the chatter continued in the background. A small cloud of smoke swirled above the group, blending in with the late evening sky. Cirrus passed by the alley on his way to the bus stop and noticed Skylar's figure in the shadows. He couldn’t help but slow down to get a closer look. The moment Skylar spotted him, their eyes locked. 

What’s his deal? Cirrus wondered. His thoughts lingered on the boy in the shadows. He definitely saw what he had done to Chan-il earlier. Why would someone take a practice match with their neighboring school so seriously that they would use cheap tricks to get their way? How lame. 

There was a strange calmness about the boy. Kind of like the brief numbness before pain hits after you stub your toe, or those fleeting moments of pride before the ocean swallows up your beloved sandcastle. It was weird. Skylar seemed to exist in a delicate “in-between”, as though he knew something was about to break, but hadn't yet let it sink in. The faint glow of his cigarette flickered as it neared its end.

“What the fuck are you looking at?" 

Cirrus quickly dropped his gaze and hurried past, his heart racing. Shit, How long was I staring? 

He couldn’t quite place why he found Skylar so alluring in the few minutes he had seen him. Maybe it was the way he stood, apart from all the other guys, like he didn’t really belong. I wonder what he was thinking.

Cirrus glanced back at his phone as he approached the bus stop, checking the transit app for the schedule. 20 minutes. He found himself wondering what it would be like if the bus just crashed before it even made it to his stop. Maybe then have time to stall before heading home. He definitely was not eager to sit across from his dad at dinner that night. His father had returned after one of his usual “business” trips and wanted the whole family to sit together and eat. But what Cirrus had learned from 6 years ago when his mom died was, that though they may live together, they definitely were not family. 

It was Chan-il who convinced him that soccer might be a good way to relieve the everyday stress of school. Sports had never been Cirrus’s thing however. He would’ve much preferred sitting in the corner of a classroom, getting lost in a book. But then again, if someone as effortlessly cool as Chan-il thought it was worth it, maybe soccer could work for him too. At least it would give him a reason to delay going home. 

And maybe—just maybe—it would make him a little more like Chan-il. Or half as cool, at the very least. 

If people looked at Cirrus the way they looked at Chan-il, maybe his life wouldn’t feel so suffocating all the time. 

Cirrus’s original survival strategy had been simple: keep his head down. 

Don’t make eye contact, don’t greet anyone, and definitely don’t get involved. 

If he never engaged, no one could hurt him. No conversations about video game skins, no gossip about who liked who, no talking about the fight during lunch yesterday between the 7th graders. 

If he took up as little space as possible, he might just be able to disappear. 

Disappear into nothing. 

But he couldn’t disappear. Not really. So, a new plan took shape. Be more like Chan-il. Chan-il was practically a saint. Always super nice to everyone, oblivious to the bad things going on around him. Teachers loved him, parents adored him, and every kid in school wanted to be his friend. He had been the first person to see past Cirrus’s loneliness, his awkwardness, and still wanted to befriend him. 

So if Chan-il suggested joining the soccer team, Cirrus would do it. And if Chan-il said the shrimp-flavored chips from 7-11 were worth trying, Cirrus would try them too.

Cirrus sat on the cold bench at the bus stop, pulling out the half-eaten bag of chips Chan-il had given him earlier.

I wonder if this plan is actually working. He put a chip in his mouth and munched. 

Man, this is gross. 

*** Perfect Escape ***

Their second encounter was another practice match exactly a week later.

Skylar and Minwoo had just finished their last class and were heading to the locker room to change into their uniforms for soccer. Skylar, with his head down, was intensely focused on a game of Brawl Stars on his phone as they walked. 

"Yo, Skylar, Beom Seok's inviting all the guys over tonight." Minwoo nudged Skylar’s arm, trying to pull his attention away from the screen. “You alive in there?”

“Huh? What?”

“At least pretend to care, man. Are you coming to Beom Seok’s place with me tonight, or what, Flipper?” 

"I told you to stop calling me that," Skylar grumbled, he looked up from his phone. "And why would I want to hang out with those bums, anyway?"

"They’re the cool high schoolers, dude. And they actually like us, you know? We’re gonna sneak some soju and—"

“I don’t know man, they’re hopeless! And besides, why would a bunch of high schoolers even invite us?”

"’Cause we're cool too, obviously!"

Skylar let out a noncommittal grunt. “Meh. I’ll think about it."

“If you don’t go, I'll just go without you man. You don’t have to be such a downer”. Minwoo snatched his phone from him. 

“Hey! Give it back!” Skylar reached for the phone, but Minwoo held it away. He playfully smacked Minwoo in the back of his head and then grabbed his phone back. 

“Ow!” He said, rubbing his head. “They’re coming by after practice. We’re all gonna meet up and head over.”

Skylar didn’t reply, though his mind drifted. The older guys that hung out at the tutoring center were a mess. They didn’t even go to class and spent their days stirring up trouble. Minwoo could do so much better. 

As they reached their respective lockers, Skylar said, "Doesn't your dad want you to go to that science high school? You should probably be focusing on your studies right now.” 

Minwoo shrugged, “Those are my dad’s dreams, not mine. I'm tired of being his little trophy child. And besides, those high school guys are all so chill with me. I’d rather be hanging out with them than at any tutoring place”. 

Skylar could see that Minwoo was deep in his rebellious phase, pushing back against his parents’ expectations. Maybe he should be doing the same thing—he certainly understood the frustration. Besides, most of the time, it was the same boring day over and over again, a constant suffocating loop that Skylar wanted to drown out. His only little escapes were when he was playing soccer, or causing trouble with Minwoo. 

Minwoo was the one person who made Skylar feel seen, heard, and understood. He had been there through everything: like when Skylar’s parents officially divorced or when Ha-Yeon spilled hot soup on herself and got those burns. 

Minwoo was the one constant in his life. The shelter to Skylar's stray dog. Skylar was always running away from his problems, and Minwoo always opened the door for him.

He was the perfect escape. 

If only he could have him all to himself and not those shitty older kids Minwoo was trying so hard to impress. Skylar didn’t like it. He hated it, actually. He wanted Minwoo all to himself so badly, to keep their little world just the way it was. But saying anything would be a risk. If people disliked Minwoo because of him, that would be the worst outcome. Skylar kept his thoughts to himself, though the feeling gnawed at him.

~

Jamsil and Eonju met for yet another practice match, this time on Jamsil’s field. Their actual tournaments would not start until after summer break, but both teams wanted to get in as much practice as they could before competing against other schools. The heat was truly unforgiving, but the players pushed through, determined to prove themselves as the best high school of the area, and after the tournaments, maybe even all of Seoul’s.

Chan-il jogged up towards Skylar before the coach blew the whistle to start the match. He flashed a cheesy smile yet looked nervous as he scratched the back of his head, "Hey, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for making you so angry last time,” he said, his voice a little too cheery. “I…didn’t mean to, and I swear, I’ll try harder this time. My full attention will be on the game!” He raised his fist in the air, trying to show his enthusiasm and commitment. 

Skylar looked at him, confused and just gave a quick nod. What an annoying prick.

The coach blew the whistle and the game was on. Skylar inhaled deeply, this time I won’t be distracted. Eonju had possession, with Minwoo at the center of their offense, moving swiftly, weaving between players with almost effortless grace. His movements were quick, and each time he made a slick pass or clever feint, he shot a glance and a smile towards Skylar for approval. 

Minwoo’s neon green eyes stood out even more against the green turf, and were even more striking against his jet-black hair that waved in the wind. Whenever he ran his fingers through it, pushing the strands away from his eyes, the sight tugged at Skylar's focus. Minwoo’s forehead was glistening with sweat as he wiped it away from his eyes. 

The ball went to Jisung next to Minwoo. Then over to Sangwook, the center-back.

Skylar's attention kept drifting back to Minwoo whose chest heaved up and down, breath heavy, eyes trained intently on the ball as he called out, "Over here! I’m open!" 

Skylar’s eyes traced the lines of Minwoo’s back as he bent over to catch his breath, his eyes diverted to the way his jersey clung to his broad shoulders, his long legs, the way his neck flushed with exertion.

And his lips that slightly parted as he panted. 

The ball flew across the field, right towards Skylar. Shit! I was distracted again. In an instant, the ball came right at his feet, and Skylar scrambled to react. Just when he was about to go in for a kick, a boy from Jamsil’s team stole the ball. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

~

There were so many people on the field , Cirrus thought to himself. 

One?

Two?

No, three people in front of him, two shadowy figures behind, and the goalie, too. The chaos around him ensued— so many sounds.

The coach’s whistle blew through the air and shouts echoed like distant thunder. The blazing sun was beating down on him too, making him sweat. Drip, drip …across his forehead.

And eyes. So many eyes were on him. He felt them piercing through his skin. The pressure built, a knot tightening in his stomach. C’mon, Cirrus, you have to do something. They were probably all judging him right now, he thought, Chan-il probably thinks I’m such a loser… And just then the ball rolled towards him. His heart raced; this was his chance.  His foot connected with the ball, his instincts igniting like a match struck in the dark. Bang. Time slowed as he watched the ball soar above the goalie’s fingers, a perfect arc toward the net. GOAL! With that the game had ended, and Jamsil had won. 

~

Skylar had made the mistake of not reacting quick enough when Jamsils team came up to him, so they had made a goal. It was his fault. 

“What the hell were you doing, Skylar?” Joonho’s voice cut through the post-game silence, “Staring off into the distance like a dumbass?”

Skylar’s jaw clenched. He could hear Joonho’s sidekicks snickering behind him.

"Are you slow or something?" Joonho added, a smug grin stretching across his face. 

The laughter grew louder. “How does it feel to be the team idiot?” one of the other guys chimed in. They all surrounded Skylar. 

Skylar's blood boiled. He closed his hands into a fist, his nails digging into his palms. “You want to fucking die?” His voice was low, daring Joonho to push him further. 

Joonho laughed, clearly unfazed. “Oh, please, Skylar. Don’t threaten me with your tough guy act. Everyone knows you’re all bark, no bite.”

Skylar stormed up to Joonho, grabbing him by the chest of his jersey, yanking him close. “You think you're hot shit, huh? You're nothing but a benchwarmer, and you're gonna call me the team idiot? Don’t make me laugh.” Skylar chuckled but his still eyes burned with fury, staring daggers into Joonho. “You’re dead weight. If you disappeared tomorrow, no one would give a damn. Shit, the team would probably do better without your useless ass dragging us down.”

Joonho's cocky smirk faded. “Just don’t get in our way, loser,” Joonho spat, pushing Skylar back. “At least I don’t choke when it matters. Maybe if you weren’t so busy daydreaming about god knows what, we wouldn’t have lost.” 

Skylar’s fist shot into the air, aiming for Joonho’s face. But before it could land, Minwoo darted in, grabbing Skylar’s arm and pulling him back.

“Chill! It’s a fucking practice match you two!” Minwoo said, trying to keep Skylar from escalating things any further.

“Don’t touch me!” Skylar snapped, yanking himself free from Minwoo’s grip. Joohno and the others started to walk away, but as they left, Skylar yelled out “The only reason you’re even playing is because the coach felt sorry for you!”

Joonho’s back stiffened, but he didn’t turn around and kept walking.

“Jeez, what is your problem?” Minwoo said, shaking his head as he watched the group leave. Without another word, Skylar stormed off toward the sideline to grab his water bottle and settle down. I can’t talk to Minwoo right now. 

On the sidelines of the field, another conflict was stirring up. 

"Something's so off about him," a Jamsil player muttered, eyeing Cirrus from the sidelines after their match had ended. 

"Yeah, he just stands around looking bored. Doesn’t even bother talking to anyone."

“Total freak.”

The sneers spread through the teammates, casual yet cutting. Skylar overheard the conversation and shot a glare toward the group. “Talking shit about your own teammates when you can’t do shit yourself? What a joke!” he said coldly. 

The group exchanged confused glances as Skylar started walking toward them. Without another word, they quickly scattered to avoid a confrontation. They did not want to mess with a guy who looked ready for a fight. 

Skylar turned to Cirrus, shaking his head. “You gotta stop letting your teammates talk down on you. Watching it is annoying as hell. Stand up for yourself. Don’t just stand there like an idiot.”

Cirrus didn’t respond. His gaze remained fixed on the ground staring at Skylar’s dusty old cleats. Skylar stepped closer, tapping him on the shoulder. “Dude? Hello?”

“...”

Skylar sighed, “You were the one who made the last goal aren’t you? Where’s your pride? Because of you, my teammates think I’m an idiot.” 

Cirrus glanced at him, his eyes still downcast. Skylar seemed to sense something and lowered his voice, “Look, I deal with the same stuff, sometimes. Some of my teammates don’t even want to play with me. Don’t listen to those idiots. Just practice, okay?”

Cirrus finally looked up, his voice barely above a whisper. “Sorry, but what’s your name?”

Skylar blinked in surprise. “Oh uh, I’m Yeon Skylar. You’re new, right? What’s your name?”

Cirrus hesitated for a moment before replying, his voice a little clearer. “I’m Baek Cirrus. And... I’m not new.” 

“Oh? Guess I must’ve missed you earlie-” before Skylar could even finish, Cirrus had already walked away. 

*** Blistered Feet, Bandaged Heart ***

Their third encounter took place during practice drills on Eonju’s field. Both teams had been pushed to their limits, running laps, sprinting, doing dribbling and passing drills and then splitting into smaller groups for intense 5v5 matches. This was their final time playing together before summer break began. The coaches were especially relentless after news about high school recruiters watching their games after the summer break broke out. 

Fuck. Cirrus felt the sting in his feet intensify with every step. The new cleats he had bought for soccer were definitely too small, and if he didn’t sit down soon, his feet might actually catch fire. He slipped into Eonju middle school’s locker room, cautiously scanning the dimly lit space to make sure no one spotted the student in Jamsil’s middle school’s uniform. 

Locker rooms always have a completely different atmosphere in the late evening, Cirrus thought to himself. The place was dimly lit, empty, and quiet. Shadows of the lockers pooled in the corners, and the overhead lights buzzed faintly, casting long, narrow beams that made the room feel bigger than it was. Only the sounds of distant footsteps and muffled voices could be heard from the outside. It made the whole moment feel like a secret. 

He sat down, wincing as he took off the too-small cleats and noticed the raw skin on the back of his foot and around his toes. Cirrus leaned back, letting out a sigh of relief, but right before he could fully exhale, the locker room door swung open, and a boy hurried inside. 

Skylar entered swiftly, his head turning from side to side, as though checking to see if anyone else was there—or maybe he was looking for something.

He paused when he spotted Cirrus, a flicker of recognition showed up on his face. For a brief moment, neither of them moved or said anything. The silence stretched long and tense. Skylar’s gaze flickering away as if unsure whether to acknowledge the sweaty boy with pain-filled eyes. 

The quiet between them felt heavy, almost fragile. A few awkward minutes pass until Skylar decides to break the silence. “...Those cleats are nice.”

“Yeah... they’re new, but they don’t fit right.” 

Skylar turned to his locker, grabbing a phone and rummaging through his things. More silence. Another few awkwards minutes pass by. 

“Well… I know a trick that could help you out”. Skylar pulled out a roll of bandages, the soft fabric unwinding around his fingers. He inched closer to Cirrus and kneeled down in front of him, glancing down at the blisters on his feet. He paused to analyze his feet and then got to work. His movements were deliberate but gentle, as though he was unsure about helping a stranger, but he was drawn to do it anyway. Cirrus watched him closely, feeling the unexpected closeness of the moment, the space between them shrinking without either of them realizing it.

Cirrus observed Skylar’s slightly overgrown hair, a wavy mess that framed his face, half-obscuring his eyes. It curled unpredictably, like it was trying to go in every direction at once. Skylar ran his fingers through his hair to get them from covering his eyes, and in that moment, Cirrus got a closer look into him. Sharp, angry chestnut eyes looked softer, calmer—glimmering under the locker room lights. Skylar finished bandaging up Cirrus' foot, but they lingered for a moment, neither making a move to stand up. As if some invisible force was keeping them both rooted in place. More silence, more awkward minutes pass. 

"That's your friend Minwoo's phone in your pocket right?" 

Skylar froze, his calm demeanor quickly diminishing, and turning tense. Cirrus, observing the subtle shifts in mood on Skylar, pressed on gently. "And the other day, I saw you elbow Chan-il hard during the game? Why did you do that?" 

"I...I don't know what you're talking about", Skylar stammered, his voice shaky.

Cirrus raised a brow. “I saw you with my own eyes, Skylar.” 

Skylar’s jaw tightened, and he avoided Cirrus’s gaze. “Listen, I was just going to give the phone back... It’s just, Minwoo’s hanging out with these guys who are nothing but troubl-  Whatever! I don’t know why I’m even explaining this to you.”

Skylar stood up and started to turn away, and there was a hint of guilt in his intonation. 

"And... I didn’t mean to hurt your friend Chan-il or anything”. 

Cirrus sighed, deciding not to push the issue further. Instead, he just let the moment settle and the air get thicker with unspoken words. There was something about Skylar that made Cirrus’s curiosity weirdly grow. There was something much deeper that the boy was hiding, and Cirrus wanted to be the one to decipher it. 

Skylar headed out to the exit, "Take it easy on those cleats". 

"Yeah no worries, I'm just going to buy new ones". Cirrus watched him go, feeling a strange pull toward the boy who remained half a stranger.

Cirrus stepped back outside onto the field as most of Jamsil’s team had already left.

“Where’d you go? Coach was looking all over for you!” Chan-il called out. “You disappeared right after you carried those 5v5s. Are you trying to play it cool? Haha!”

“It’s not like that…I just had to grab something. I’m gonna go talk to the coach.” Cirrus replied quickly and timidly.  

Spotting the coach on the bleachers, Cirrus headed over. “Nice work today, Cirrus. I’ve been watching you closely. Thanks for helping us seal the win last week. Keep it up, and you could be our next star player,” the coach said, patting him on the back. “Are you thinking about playing in high school?” 

“...Not really,” Cirrus admitted.

“Well, I’d give it some thought if I were you.”

Cirrus barely had time to respond before Chan-il jogged over. “You’re incredible! I knew you had it in you. Even the coach noticed!”

Cirrus rubbed the back of his neck with a small grin. “Thank you.”

~

Skylar had swiped Minwoo’s phone when they were changing into their uniforms, stashing it in his bag to stall for time. If Minwoo couldn't find his phone, the others would just leave. 

“Dude, if I don’t find it, my dad’s going to kill me,” Minwoo muttered, voice tense as he checked his pockets for the tenth time.

“Did you try checking the field? Maybe it fell out when we we-”

“ Did you check the field? Of course I checked the field dumbass. I checked everywhere! Wait, hold up... what’s that?” Minwoo spotted the phone lying haphazardly on the turf. “There it is!”

Skylar forced a grin. “See? Told you.”

Minwoo sighed with relief, picking up the phone. “Man, everyone already left without us,” he muttered, glancing at the empty field. 

"Who cares? We barely hang out together these days. Let’s just go to the playground and kick the ball around or something."

"Seriously? What are we, nine?"

"What do you mean? We always do that.”

"Exactly," Minwoo sighed, patting Skylar on the back like he was humoring him. "You need to grow up, Sky. You know Beom Seok snuck me and the guys into a bar last week, right? And guess what? He’s even talking about sneaking us something else."

Skylar narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Oh, you know," Minwoo smirked, lowering his voice and whispering into Skylar’s ear. "Some weed to smoke."

Skylar’s eyes widened in shock. "Are you fucking crazy? You’re going to get in huge trouble if you get caught!" 

Minwoo rolled his eyes, "Can you just relax for once?" He wrapped an arm around Skylar’s shoulder, pulling him closer, inches away from his face. "Do you feel left out or something? I invited you, you’re the one who canceled on me.” 

Skylar shoved Minwoo’s arm off, stepping back feeling the goosebumps rise on his arm. "I’m not sneaking into bars and trying to act like I’m some badass. You think that makes you cool? You think that’s ‘growing up’?"

Minwoo gave him a smile, unaffected. "What’s the point of life if you’re not really living, huh? You’re gonna grow old someday and have nothing to tell your grandkids."

"Whatever, man. And stop touching me!" He pulled himself completely out of Minwoo’s reach. "Go have fun with Beom Seok and those other guys and forget all about me for all I care."

"You’re acting like some jealous girlfriend right now, it’s not that serious," Minwoo laughed at his own words. "You know I’ve got your back, no matter what. You’re still my best friend. You’ll always be special to me. Now quit whining and let’s go get some fried chicken."

Minwoo suggesting they get food together made Skylar’s defenses crumble just a little. Minwoo was still choosing him in the end. 

Special huh?

~

Cirrus and Chan-il walked side by side, or rather Cirrus limped, to the bus stop after their meeting with the coach. It was routine by now, Chan-il being the saint he was, insisted on dropping Cirrus off at his stop before heading to his own, even though it was out of the way. 

“Ugh, my mom is so overbearing! She always wants a picture to see where I am when I’m having fun,” Chan-il groaned, pulling out his phone. “I was going to ask if you wanted to hit up a PC cafe, but I guess it's too late now."

Cirrus offered a small smile, glancing at Chan-il. He’d been over to his house once before. His mom was every bit as kind and caring as Chan-il, no surprises there. Chan-il had the kind of home where someone would always ask how your day went, and call you cringey pet names. Cirrus couldn’t help but wish that his biggest worries were simple things like curfews and sending photos. 

“I’m so jealous the coach complimented you today. He never compliments anyone!” Chan-il said, with a light chuckle. “I need to practice more!”

Cirrus blinked, caught off guard. Chan-il’s jealous? Of me?

“You were gonna score a goal in that game we played a few weeks back against Eonju if they hadn’t played dirty,” Cirrus said, trying to reassure him.

Chan-il shook his head, kicking a loose pebble down the sidewalk. “Nah, it’s my own fault. If it wasn’t for this stupid fractured arm I got on that camping trip with my dad, I’d be in better shape. I’ve been off my game.”

"You're being too hard on yourself and isn’t soccer mostly about your feet anyway?” Cirrus replied. Chan-il’s frown very quickly turned into a bright smile. 

“Alright, I’m gonna head this way now. Get home safe, Cirrus!” Chan-il called as he waved, walking backwards before turning the corner.

“Thanks! You too!” Cirrus shouted after him. He took a seat at the bus stop and pulled out his phone. Only five minutes until the next bus, the transit app read. The one after that would come in 35 minutes. Cirrus decided to just wait for the second one. 

He took out a book from his bag and used the gleam of the yellow flickering streetlight to make out the words. The night was quiet, the only sound was the distant hum of traffic.

But suddenly, a burst of laughter shattered the quiet.

“Ahahahahaha!” Cirrus’s eyes flicked up from the page as two boys came into view. They were roughhousing, playfully shoving each other, belly-laughing loud and full, through the empty street. They moved with such easy familiarity, the kind that only came from years of friendship, pushing and pulling like they’d done it a hundred times before. 

~

The air surrounding Skylar and Minwoo was thick with the lingering smell of cigarettes and fast food, the grease of fried chicken still fresh on their fingers. Though it was 9 o'clock, the night clung to the heat of the day.

As they walked towards the sidewalk, Skylar noticed a lone figure sat half-shadowed and half-glowing on the bus stop bench. His back lowered, one leg tucked beneath the other, and his hands cradling a book delicately. As he got closer, he recognized it was Cirrus. His silver hair looks gold under the streetlight. It was rare to see someone look so elegant in such a mundane setting. It seemed as if every curve and line on Cirrus’ face was crafted with intention.  

"You still haven’t left?" Skylar asked as he approached the bus stop. 

Cirrus looked up, clearly startled to see Skylar here, then shook his head. 

Minwoo grinned and nudged Cirrus with a curious gaze. “What’re you reading, smart guy?” He snatched the book away from Cirrus’s hands. He held up the cover. “The Giver, by Lois Lowry.”

“Oh, I know that one!” Skylar said with sudden enthusiasm, his eyes lighting up. He grabbed the book from Minwoo’s hands. “Isn’t that the one where all the people are raised the same, with no memories of the past? All to stop bad things like war from happening?” Minwoo seizes the book once more. He and Skylar began tossing it back and forth like it was some sort of ball, laughter punctuating the air with each throw. 

“...Yeah, that’s the one.” Cirrus nodded, a shy nervous smile breaking through.  “I really like it. I’m planning to get Gathering Blue next.” Please just give the book back to me. 

Skylar returns the book back to Cirrus. “Woah I haven’t even read that one. Is it the next book in the series?”

“Mhmm, I can lend it to you…if you want?” Actually you can keep it. Keep this one too if it means you two will leave me alone.  

“That would be great!”

“Are you two nerds really flirting right in front of me? Grosssss.” Minwoo laughed, dodging Skylar’s playful punch to his arm.

"Shut up!" Skylar rolled his eyes. “So, are you going to summer school?”

“Uh, no. My dad puts me in private lessons.”

“Oh damn, you must be rich.”

Cirrus’s stomach twisted a little as a lie slipped out so easily. "No, It’s just… my parents are both teachers, so they’re super strict with stuff like that," he said, trying to keep his tone casual.

Skylar raised an eyebrow. But they’re okay with you being out this late? he thought but kept it to himself.

“Well, guess we’ll see you next semester.” 

“Wait…Skylar, what was it that you did with the band-aids again? I’ve got to do it again tomorrow because my feet aren’t going to heal anytime soon.”

Skylar pulled out his phone, offering it to Cirrus. “Here, take my number. I’ll send you a video on how to do it. Just text me if you have questions or whatever.” He seemed in a way better mood now than before in the locker room. Cirrus couldn’t figure out why Skylar was being so nice to him, but he took the number anyway. It might come in handy.

However, the number just stayed in his contacts, collecting dust. Neither of them texted or called each other all summer. 

*** Insomniacs After Dark ***

Special.

Special.

What does it even mean when someone says that to you? Skylar wondered as he stared up at the ceiling, sprawled across his bed. It was the very last day of summer break, and Skylar’s spiraling thoughts were an everyday thing at this point. 

You’ll always be special to me.

The words echoed in his mind, and played on a constant loop. We have been friends for so many years. Obviously, what we have is different from everyone else. But different in what sense?

Ughhhhh! Shut up Skylar! What are you even thinkin- SLAM! The door opened wide, and Skylar’s mom walked in, her presence a sudden interruption to his thoughts. “Yeon Skylar!”

"Sheesh, can you knock instead of barging in? What is it this time?" Skylar didn’t even have the energy to mask his annoyance.

In her hand, gleaming coldly, was a lighter. Skylar’s stomach lurched. 

"What the hell is this?" Her voice was sharp, cutting through the air like a knife. 

Skylar flinched instinctively. Fuck… what do I say? 

"It’s not mine… it’s my friend’s. I must’ve just grabbed it by mistake. Just give it to me, I’ll throw it out."

"Which friend? Minwoo? I’m going to call Minwoo’s mom right now!" 

Skylar’s pulse quickened."Minwoo has nothing to do with this! Don’t call his mom!"

"Do you think I was born yesterday?" Her voice grew louder, sharper, filling every corner of the room. "Stop lying to my face, Skylar! What the hell is going on with you these days? I get calls from summer school all the time. You stay out late without even telling me! And now, this!"

She waved the lighter accusingly, her face full of frustration. "It’s your responsibility to be a good example, to take care of this house, and to look after your sister. What kind of example is this? You’re a bad influence on Ha-Yeon! You need to grow up!"

His fists clenched tightly beneath the blanket. The pressure was building up inside of him and he couldn’t take it anymore. Then something snapped. He threw the blanket off and stood up, his face inches from hers. "Enough already!" He screamed, his voice raw with anger, his eyes burning. "You are so overbearing, you make me feel suffocated! I bet this is exactly why Dad left you!" 

The words echoed in the room. Silence…

His mom’s face went pale and her eyes widened. Her distraught face was so vivid. It was something Skylar had never seen before. The damage had been done. Without thinking, without another word, he bolted. He grabbed his backpack and aimed for the door, away from the mess he had made. His chest heaved and his heart raced; He didn’t look back. He couldn’t. 

~

Skylar pulled out his phone, fingers hovering as he texted Minwoo.

Skylar: Hey, r u home? I'll come over. Mom and I got into a bad fight.

Skylar: …

Several minutes passed, each one feeling longer than the last. No response. Skylar continued to walk in circles in the parking lot of his apartment. 

Minwoo: Oh, sorry dude, I’m not home. My dad’s making me go to these extra tutoring classes. :(

Skylar: Oh…

Where the hell do I go now?

~

Cirrus sat at the dining table, directly across from his father. It was an unusual occurrence considering his father typically didn't come home more than a few times a month. It was completely silent, except for the clinking and clanking of metal spoons and chopsticks as the only soundtrack playing. 

Every time his father glanced his way, Cirrus forced a smile, a thin veneer over the uncomfortableness inside him. “Pass the salt, please,” his dad instructed one of the maids, the command echoing in the otherwise hushed room.

“How’s school?” his father finally broke the silence, his eyes flicking up from his plate.

“Good. How’s work?”

“Going well.”

The conversation sank back into silence. At last, his father let out a deep sigh, the kind that seemed to signal the beginning of him saying something difficult. Here it comes.

“I’m seeing someone, Cirrus. I need you home early tomorrow to meet her. We can all have dinner together.”

So this was it. Cirrus wanted to keep up his “disinterested yet happy” look but he couldn’t help but look at his father in disgust. How can he be so shameless? Another woman? The fifth one? And he usually just brought them home without ever talking to me about it, why is he making it a formal greeting this time? And worst of all, why does he seem kind of excited? 

This feels like shit.

“I can’t. I have to take Candy to her annual checkup.” 

“Tsk, You can’t take her any other day?” 

Cirrus felt his appetite evaporate. He stood up and pushed his chair back. “Sorry, I’m not hungry. Can we discuss this tomorrow? I’m going to my room.”

Bam! Before he could leave, his father’s fists slammed onto the table, sending a tremor through the dishes and making Cirrus and the maids flinch. “Where are your manners?! You can’t just leave whenever you feel like it!”

Oh, the irony. 

Cirrus turned around and walked away toward the stairs. He heard his father’s voice follow him, cutting through the air like a knife. “I…deserve to be happy, Cirrus. I am allowed to move on. I have a good life now, and I’m allowed to. It’s you who is failing to grow up and realize that.”. 

That was the final strike. Cirrus stormed into his room, locking the door behind him, and collapsed onto his bed. Candy ran up to him to greet him but he just buried his face into the pillow, and let the soft fabric swallow his frustration. He wanted to forget everything. He wanted to escape the suffocating misery. How could father have the audacity to say that? He didn’t deserve happiness. He didn’t deserve to get his way. It’s not fair. Cirrus fingers stroked Candy’s fur absently. 

It’s not fair. It’s just not fair. 

Cirrus blinked away the tears that threatened to spill over, glancing at his laptop. Candy climbed onto his lap, and he absentmindedly petted her as he whispered, “One sec, Cotton Candy.”

He opened his laptop and navigated to his dad’s Facebook account, hoping to uncover some clue about this new woman in his father’s life. Hours felt like minutes as he scrolled through the carefully curated façade of his dad’s online persona, sifting through various profiles until he found her: Kim Jisu.

She had recently graduated college and was alarmingly young—early twenties, not too far from Cirrus’ age. Her posts showcased a glamorous life filled with designer handbags, rooftop margaritas with her girlfriends, and what’s this?

A brand new Audi parked in front of a café. This was definitely from fathers’s money.

A bitter chuckle escaped his lips. His dad doesn’t even realize how this woman was playing him. Maybe they did belong together. She must’ve put in a lot of work to get to this spot. His father got bored in a flash. 

Cirrus couldn’t bear to spend more time tonight at his house, so he had left. He had no destination in mind, just an overwhelming need to be somewhere, anywhere else. His feet took him to a place he was just starting to get familiar with. 

~

Skylar wandered about until eventually ending up at the alley of the tutoring center. The place was his usual smoke spot, and where he and Minwoo hung out when they were skipping class. It was usually packed with kids, but today it was completely empty. It was the perfect hidden space away from the world—perfect for when he needed to be alone.  

Leaning against the rough rocky texture of the brick walls of the tutoring center, Skylar pulled out an almost empty cigarette pack from his bag. He propped up a cigarette to his face. With his lighter now in his mom’s possession, he couldn’t actually light it up. 

He stuck the cigarette between his lips anyway, staring up at the night sky. He took slow, delicate breaths around the unlit end. The very faint taste of tobacco lingered and felt bitter on his tongue. He sucked softly on it, the familiar routine grounding him in the midst of the chaos in his head. His stomach ached, muscles tensed, but it was the simmering heat beneath his skin, the rage, that felt the most intense. 

Why is it always on me? I always have to be the responsible one. My little sister gets hurt and it's somehow on me. If I'm home all day, then I'm lazy. If I'm out too late, then I'm irresponsible.

It’s just not fair,  I want to live my life freely. She treats me like an adult when it comes to “being responsible” but if I do something she doesn’t like, she treats me like a child. It's just a lighter sheesh, kids my age are doing so much worse. 

Why does she take out her anger on me? She always calls me a bad influence on Ha-Yeon. Doesn’t she know that hurts me too?

“Skylar!”

“Ah! You scared the shit out of me!” Skylar jumped, startled as Cirrus suddenly appeared in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere.

Cirrus raised an eyebrow, eyeing the unlit cigarette. “Uhh, are you going to light that up?”

Skylar sighed, tossing his head back against the wall. “My mom found my lighter. I just ran out of the house. I don’t have it.”

Cirrus burst out laughing. “Ahahahaha!”

Skylar furrowed his brows. “Is that funny to you?”

“Kind of.” Cirrus wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, still chuckling.

“You’re an idiot.” 

Five minutes of silence stretched between them, the boys stood motionless, lost in their own thoughts.

“Do you want to play soccer?” Skylar asked, kicking a loose pebble from the ground.

“Sure…but we don’t have a soccer ball.”

Skylar smirked. “We can go into the gym closet by the locker room at my school and grab one.”

Cirrus raised an eyebrow, “Isn’t it closed during summer break? Are we sneaking in?”

“Yeah, Minwoo and I have done this many times.”

Everything was somehow always about Minwoo. Did Skylar ever do anything out of his own volition?  Cirrus thought to himself. It was like there was no part of Skylar’s life that didn’t involve him. But before he could dwell on it, Skylar exclaimed. “Are you in or not?”

Cirrus nodded. Cirrus watched Skylar, who was already walking ahead, his confident stride making it look like sneaking into the gym was just another normal thing. Cirrus’ mind wandered, and a thought struck him.

Does Skylar feel inferior to Minwoo, just like I do to Chan-Il?

It was a strange thought, but it made sense. Skylar was always so wrapped up in Minwoo, almost like he needed validation from him. Is that why Skylar always keeps him so close?—maybe the same way I cling onto Chan-Il. 

~

The crickets and cicadas buzzed loudly in the night. The air was still and hot, the only moments it wasn't stagnant was when the two boys ran through the field and welcomed the cool breeze sweeping past them. They were fully absorbed in their impromptu scrimmage, kicking each other's ankles and shoving each other out of the way as they raced for control of the ball. 

Skylar never got the chance to show off his skills during their actual games so he took this opportunity to flaunt them. He swerved through imaginary defenders with a confidence he never really showed off. “Try shifting your weight more to your left foot. It’ll give you better control!” He yelled out to Cirrus. 

Cirrus watched him with a spark of excitement as he felt the urge to step out of his own comfort zone. He started to move with more freedom, and watched closely at how Skylar's feet moved, testing his own limits, until their legs seemed to dance around the field in perfect harmony. With every shot and every block, an unspoken mutual understanding grew between them—a kind of silent pact that said, I get it. I know why you’re here. I know you need this, too. The one-on-one match made them forget everything that had happened that day, just for a little bit. The thrill of the game, the surge of adrenaline flowing through them with each movement, was a rare kind of freedom.

Skylar flicked the ball up with his heel, sending it just out of Cirrus’s reach, and spun past him with ease, smirking. Cirrus didn’t back down. Instead, he cut around Skylar and intercepted the ball which caused Skylar to charge after him. They barely spoke during the match but they communicated through the game, with the ways their bodies moved and reacted.

“How are you so good as a beginner?” Skylar panted, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Cirrus shrugged, and made his way closer to Skylar. “Minwoo would be so pissed off if he saw me playing with our rival, haha!”

“Where is your friend by the way?” Cirrus asked after a while. 

“He’s stuck in some special science tutoring thing his parents forced on him,” Skylar explained, shrugging. "Where’s your dorky buddy, Chan-il?”

“He has a tight curfew so he doesn’t stay around too late.”

“Oh okay.”

"Why don’t your teammates like playing with you?"

Skylar paused, caught off guard by the sudden direct question. He sighed. “I dunno. Maybe it’s ‘cause I’m too harsh sometimes... or maybe they just don’t like me”. 

"Harsh? How?" Cirrus asked, genuinely curious.

Skylar shifted awkwardly. "Uh... I don't know. I guess I have a bit of a temper. But it's not my fault none of them take this seriously. I want to make the high school team, you know?"

"That’s stupid," Cirrus replied bluntly. "I can tell that you’re very passionate.” Most guys on the team just do it to be popular, get girls, or skip tutoring. But Skylar plays because he actually loves soccer, it’s so obvious. I respect that.  

“Why’re you asking me these random questions?”

Cirrus completely ignores Skylar’s question and asks, “Do you wanna go to an Internet cafe after this? Let’s play some games.” 

“Sure,” Skylar replied, his stomach grumbling, “but I’m starving like crazy right now. Wanna grab something to eat first?”

“Sure”

“Let's just go to the 7-11 near the Internet Cafe.”

“You sure? I can get you some actual food if you want.” 

“Oh wow, for real?” Skylar chuckled, surprised by the offer. “That’s nice of you but you really don’t have to. I’m good with just some Ramyun.”

“Alright, but next time, I’ll get you something better.”

~

The dingy walls of the PC cafe were illuminateed with the bright monitors, and surrounded by the buzz of overworked fans. With it being midnight, there were barely any other people around. Cirrus and Skylar sat side by side, their faces colored blue, white, and red by the glow of the screens in front of them. Skylar was in his element, furiously spamming the WASD keys as they played Call of Duty: Black Ops II. “Come on, Cirrus! Cover me!”

Cirrus’s foot tapped anxiously against the floor. He glanced at Skylar, who was fully immersed in the game. “I’m trying!”

“Watch out! Behind you!” Skylar yelled, but it was too late—Cirrus' character died on the screen.

“Man, I’ve never even played the zombies mode before!”

“Yeah, I can tell. You really suck, even more than you do in soccer!” Skylar chuckled, the sound light and teasing. “Okay, I think we need a break. Let me just enjoy this Ramyun for a minute.”

Cirrus nodded, picking up his bowl and taking a deep slurp of the spicy broth.

“I’m kidding by the way, you’re really good at soccer. It actually kind of pisses me off. You come in the middle of the school year and you’re already better than most of the guys on the team who’ve been playing since 7th grade.”

“You really think so?”

“Mhmm, I mean you’re still stiff as a stick, but you’ll probably make the big leagues if you keep it up.” 

“Thank you”, Cirrus smiled. “This Ramyun is amazing by the way.”

“I know, right? I can’t believe you’ve never had it before.”

“I never go to PC cafes. I only went for the first time with Chan-il last semester.”

“Really? Do you not have any other friends besides him?” Skylar asked, raising an eyebrow, half-joking, half-curious.

"No, I don’t. He’s pretty great though…I do have another friend actually, Ri-in. She’s my childhood friend since our mom’s knew each other, but I guess we’re more like cousins at this point. She gets annoyed when I hang out with her too much though because people always think we’re dating."

“Ah, that must be annoying.”

“Yeah it is”. Cirrus pauses before he continues his questions. “Do you have a girlfriend by the way?” 

“Nope.”

“Yeah, you don’t really seem the type to.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. you just don’t really seem the type to focus on something like a relationship right now, you know?”

Skylar’s eyes narrow. “What the hell does that imply?”

“Nothing, jeez,” Cirrus says, holding up his hands in mock surrender, trying to defuse the situation. “Why are you always so defensive?”

“I’m not defensive, you’re just asking a stupid question.”

A brief silence lingers between them and Cirrus lets out a sigh. “I’m the same as you, you know. I mean, what’s the point of getting so worked up over love at 14? It doesn’t even work out for adults, so how’s it supposed to work for some kids?”

Skylar’s gaze drops, his thoughts instantly turning to his parents. He remembers the nights he cried, the way he and his sister begged their parents not to go through with the divorce. They’d held on, desperate for some way to change their minds. But in the end, nothing they said made a difference.

Was that really it? They had known each other for years, fallen in love, gotten married, had kids, built a home—and then, just like that, it was over. How could something that felt so permanent just end, almost like it never even mattered?

Cirrus was right. If Skylar’s parents, two adults with years of experience and life between them, couldn’t make it work, then what chance did he have right now? What was the point?

“Love is kinda stupid,” Skylar muttered after the silence stretched too long, the words feeling heavier than he intended. He wished he could just give it up, if only it was that easy. 

“Yeah, I agree” 

Skylar gave Cirrus a little smile. “Since when did you start talking so much?”

Cirrus wasn’t sure why he felt comfortable saying anything at all. Maybe it was because, in a way, they didn’t matter to each other. They barely knew one another, went to different schools, didn’t run in the same friend groups—and they were rivals. There was no need for any camaraderie between them. Neither expected anything from the other, and that indifference made everything feel strangely safe. If Cirrus could use Skylar to forget about his life for just a few hours, he thought, he would definitely keep Skylar around. 

“Since I met you, I guess,” Cirrus replied with a shrug.

Why did love have to be so painful? It’s scary, it's uncomfortable, it makes you doubt yourself. Then why do we all want it so bad? 

~

Cirrus and Skylar found themselves wandering toward a nearby playground. The swings creaked as they settled into them and swung themselves side by side. They both knew that neither of them wanted to go home, so they continued to stall time together for as long as they could. Maybe they could just wait until the sun rises. 

Skylar checked his phone. 2:53 AM . He sighed hard when he saw that he had five missed calls from his mom. “So…why are you avoiding going home?” asked Skylar. 

“I guess because there’s nothing really there for me,” Cirrus replied. Skylar didn’t understand his answer, but he didn’t bother trying to. Skylar had been avoiding thinking about his mom the whole night, but now his chest started to feel heavy and he felt his anxiety creep in. “Ugh, my mom’s really going to kill me now.” 

“Is that why you don’t want to go back home?” Cirrus asked softly.

Skylar nodded and buried his head in his hands with a groan. “Ughhh.”

I wonder how his life is at home? I wonder if I can open up to him about myself. Cirrus thought to himself. 

Skylar sighed, staring off into the distance. “My parents recently got a divorce. It sucks when my mom acts like it’s all fucking okay…like this is normal. But now, I never get to see my dad. His shoes, coffee mug, toothbrush—they’re all gone. We don’t eat his favorite meal anymore. We don’t even bring in the Sunday paper, the one he used to read. And I’m supposed to act like it’s all normal.” 

He paused for a moment to take another deeper breath in. “What sucks the most is that my mom wants me to take over the ‘fatherly’ role now. It’s bullshit. Why the hell do I have to do that?”

Cirrus listened carefully, his expression softening. “That must be hard… I kinda know what that feels like.”

“You do?” 

“Well, not exactly the same situation, but…” Cirrus hesitated for a moment before speaking. “My mom died when I was eight. I don’t think it really hit me until I saw all the kids in school show up with their moms during parent teacher conferences, to realize that she was gone forever. And there was nothing I could do to make her come back.”

Skylar’s eyes softened. “That must've been really difficult. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for an eight year old to deal with.”

Cirrus gave a faint, sad smile. “Ha, Yeah…I’ve never told anyone about that before.”

“Really? Not even Chan-Il?”

“No, not even Chan-Il.” There was a brief pause, and then Cirrus looked straight into Skylar’s chestnut doe-like eyes. “I hope things get better at home for you Skylar.” 

“Thanks,” Skylar replied, offering a small smile. “And thanks for trusting me enough to share that.” A comfortable silence settled between them as they continued to swing. "So, you got something in mind for what we should do now?”

“Well, there's a track near this playground. Let’s race! Loser buys popsicles,” Cirrus suggested, a cheeky grin spreading across his face.

“Bet.”

They kept racing, each taking turns declaring the best one, then the best-two-out-of-three, then the best-three-out-of-five, until they’d run around more than they could keep count. In the end, they both wound up buying their own popsicles at the nearby CU, because neither remembered who’d actually won. Skylar collapsed onto the grass beside the track, a blueberry popsicle in his hand.

"The sun's coming up," he said with a sigh. "We should go home."

Cirrus flopped down beside him with his watermelon popsicle, staring up at the first light breaking through the sky as the early birds began to chirp. "Yeah, guess we should."

*** A Secret (Pact) ***

Summer break was over, and school was back in session. Skylar and Cirrus were now officially in their second semester of ninth grade, and soccer season was in full swing. Today was Jamsil’s first tournament game, a match that would determine their spot in the sectionals, with districts and regionals looming ahead. They were up against Hangyeore Middle School, a local rival they were almost sure to beat. But even so, All of Eonju's team had shown up to watch the match. 

As Cirrus was warming up, he spotted Skylar in his peripheral, by the fence surrounding the field. Without a second thought, he jogged over, ignoring his teammates’ calls behind him.

"Hey, wait over there, Skylar. I’ll go over to your side." Cirrus slipped over to the opposite side of the fence. “Got any tips for me? I’m kind of nervous,” he whispered so none of the students passing by could hear.

“My tip is to not lose to Hangyeore. That would be embarrassing.”

“Wow, thanks—you’re really amazing,” Cirrus said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 

“No, seriously, you can’t lose before you even get to the district matches. You guys would totally ruin the school’s reputation.”

“Gee, that really helps with the nerves.”

Skylar gave him a small grin. “Listen, things are about to get serious, and a lot of people are gonna be watching these games. So, how about we make a deal?”

“Like what?”

“Let’s start practicing together. I mean, I haven’t felt that good playing soccer in years—not since that day we played.” 

Cirrus felt a slight flush creep up his cheeks. “But aren’t we rivals?”

“Yeah, that's why this stays between us. No one can find out, okay? And I mean no one .”

“Got it. I accept your deal. So, do you have any tips for me or not?”

“Well, Minwoo and I have been practicing ste-”

“Minwoo again, huh?” Cirrus interrupted, a hint of annoyance creeping into his voice.

Skylar sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. He hasn’t been able to play much lately because his dad’s been on his case about everything. He’s really stressed and keeps acting out. Sometimes he plays dirty, but that’s honestly the best way to win sometimes.”

“Was it his idea that time you hurt Chan-il during a match, knowing he had an injured arm?”

Skylar hesitated. “Uh…..I”

“You shouldn’t let him drag you into that kind of stuff. It’s not right. I don’t think you actually agree with the idea of playing dirty.” 

Skylar’s eyes narrowed defensively. “Minwoo and I are best friends. You don’t get it.”

“Yeah… maybe not. Forget it.”

The interaction they were having was more awkward than Cirrus had thought it would be at this point. Cirrus and Skylar weren’t at the point for easy conversation just yet. 

It was strange for both to decide how to feel about each other. They didn’t know what to label what they had. Were they friends? Did they hate each other? Are they even rivals? They knew a little too much about each other to simply be strangers or acquaintances.

Cirrus wanted to study Skylar, because maybe if he had understood Skylar better, he could use him to keep himself company. It was obvious that Skylar was a boy full of secrets and insecurities just like Cirrus himself. He sensed an odd distance that seemed to linger between Skylar and Minwoo, one that made him question things he didn’t fully understand. Cirrus had assumed Skylar’s attachment to Minwoo was a mix of admiration and insecurity, the same strange distance he felt between himself and his own friends. But… something didn’t add up. 

Unlike Cirrus and Chan-il, Skylar and Minwoo seemed to be on equal footing: both pretty popular, both rebellious, both had the same friends and similar humor. So what could possibly make Skylar feel like he didn’t measure up? Was it his family life? But from what it seemed like, Minwoo's wasn't the best either. 

Why had Skylar taken Minwoo’s phone that day?

Why did he light up around him and smile in ways I have never seen before? 

Why did he constantly bring him up? 

Why was he trying so hard to defend him?

Cirrus’s eyes narrowed as he asked more questions to himself. He paused. 

Wow, could it really be…?

“So anyway, there’s this move—the step over. It’s a dribbling move that deceives defenders by making it look like the player will move in one direction, but then they go the opposite way. Minwoo was sending me these video compilations on YouTube. He always sends me these. Let me show you—”

“God… you’re in love with him. All you ever go on about is Minwoo. At first I thought you just wanted to be like him. But now I get it, it's something else.” 

Skylar stopped in his tracks. His face turned pale, and his eyes widened. Cirrus knew he probably shouldn’t have said that, but the reaction he was getting out of Skylar was just too exhilarating. “What?” Skylar gritted through clenched teeth. 

“You’re. In love. With Minwoo” 

“Shut the fuck up!”

Skylar grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the fence. It was an expression Cirrus hadn’t seen before. Out of all the times he had seen Skylar lash out at someone, why was this time so different?

Then it hit him— he wasn’t just dealing with someone who was angry. He was dealing with someone who was terrified.

“How long have you known? That you were into him? And that you were into guys in general? Have you always felt that way—” He was cut off by the stinging feeling of a punch to his face and the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

“I thought I told you to shut the fuck up!” His voice was trembling at this point. Skylar looked away, his chest heaving as he tried to keep his emotions in check. He was cracking, and Cirrus was staring into the depths of it.

“Don’t act like you know me,” Skylar muttered, “You don’t know anything. And you better not run your mouth to anyone else, or I swear to God I will—”

“You will what?” 

Skylar pushed him even harder against the fence. Pulling his collars so tight that it was definitely stretching out Cirrus’ shirt. 

Skylar stepped close, his face inches from Cirrus. His voice dropped to a low growl. “I know you’re nothing but a no-life leech, but that doesn’t mean you go snooping around in someone else’s business.” He shoved him so hard against the wall that the breath was knocked out of Cirrus. 

Skylar turned abruptly, storming off without another word. Cirrus brought a hand to his lip, feeling the warm trickle of blood coming out of his mouth. As he felt the right side of his face pounding, he couldn't help but smile. 

Maybe it was the thrill of indulging in something he shouldn’t, or maybe it was just the thrill of the mess that was Skylar himself. Either way, Cirrus wanted to know more. Skylar’s dramatic reaction had confirmed what Cirrus had already hypothesized and it made everything that much more interesting. 

But now, it was time to focus on the game.