Chapter Text
God Oswald loved bachelorette parties.
He loved their little costumes, the way they screamed “Woo!” But most of all he loved how much they drank. Because he really started to look good around the four drink mark.
Which is why he walked right up to an adorable group of ladies in their little matching wigs.
“What are we celebratin’ tonight ladies?!” He yelled over the loud music as he walked up to the group sitting at a large bottle service table.
They screams of “She’s getting married!” And “Woooo!” Would have been shrill in his ears if it wasn’t for the pounding bass of the electronic music. He hated how loud this place could get sometimes.
“Well you lovely ladies need a shot! Courtesy of the lounge!” He yelled back eliciting a squeal of delight from the group that stroked his ego greatly.
His eyes quickly assessed each woman until he came across the one. She was sat next to the bride, smiling and laughing as her eyes scrolled up and down as she took a good look at him,
‘Bingo.’ He thought, ‘She hit my four drink minimum.’
Oswald smiled his own smug smile as he snapped his fingers as a bottle girl showed up “Get these ladies and me a round of green tea shots Mariah.” He screamed as she nodded and the group cheered once more. The rush of having a group of women love you that much was something he could never get sick of.
After the tray of shots were brought, including Oswald’s, they were quickly downed as the DJ changed the song to some 90’s pop song and the group screamed once again and got up to scramble to the dance floor. Oswald was almost disappointed until he saw the woman who was giving him the look lingered behind and walked up to him. He bristled as she got close to him, placing her hand on his shoulder and leaned near his ear.
“Thanks for the shots! I owe you one! You just saved me fifty bucks!” She screamed.
“I’m Oswald! How bout you pay me back by having a drink with me?!” He said loudly, making sure to almost graze his lips against the shell of her ear, gauging how she reacted.
She smiled and nodded, introducing herself as Oswald led her to the bar. He found two stools in the corner and signalled the bartender, a new hire to come over.
“Oscar, can you get another shot for me and this lovely lady? Make mine a double.” He winked at the man on the other side of the bar trying to make his intentions obvious. All the bartenders knew that if he said that it meant that the lady he was drinking with was meant to have the double.
It hadn’t really done him any good so far since whatever lady he drank with usually just had a free double shot and walked away after but he was always hopeful for the next time.
However Oscar was a little too new to understand what he meant. And Oswald was too busy trying to figure out how to be charming as the shots were dropped off, cheered and quickly drank.
“What does a beautiful lady like yourself do for a living?” The classic compliment small talk combination.
You leaned in closely, knees rubbing against his and you delicately screamed in his ear. “I’m an accountant!”
Oswald was frozen for a second in a polite grin, he signalled to Oscar for two more shots.
“That’s kind of a borin’ job?!”
The shots were delivered and you picked yours up and snorted, annoyed for a moment. “Trust me it can get hectic.” You mumbled as you downed your shot with Oswald.
He was really starting to feel it now, he was warm and relaxed, really warm and relaxed, he hadn’t drank alcohol in a while and assumed he had turned into a bit of a lightweight.
“You know I own this place?!” He yelled into your ear, now his lips were beyond ghosting just over your ear and he was now pretty much kissing it as he spoke.
“Oh really?” He missed the sarcastic tone of your voice as you leaned into him, placing your hands on his chest. “I’m a lucky girl then!”
“You sure are doll! Stick with me and I can open a lot of doors, treat you real nice!”
He made pleasant flirty small talk for about three more drinks, until he really started slurring his words.
After the fifth drink you were both leaned over kissing and petting each other heavily, much to the chagrin of the other patrons. Your friends may have come by to see you, Oswald wasn’t really paying attention to a whole lot besides trying to get his hands under your dress.
“You wanna get outta here? My staff can figure it out without me.”
His eyelids got heavy while you sat and thought for a second before shrugging. “Why not, my friends already left. I don’t have anything to do tomorrow.”
Oswald stood and the room spun for a moment, he steadied himself and pulled you off balance to lean on his chest. He was beginning to realize that maybe he was way drunker than he thought, actually you might be marginally more sober, based on how you were helping him down the stairs and out the front.
Once the doors opened and the cold chill of air hit him Oswald regained enough sense to tell the bouncer to have his car brought around.
“I don’t usually take girls home.” A half lie, he didn’t really get a lot of chances to.
“Liar.” She whispered against the wind as Oswald pulled her closely. “You just bought a whole group of girls drinks, I’d say you’re a pretty popular guy.”
Deciding not to say anything incriminating, Oswald opted just to lean in and resume his very fervent kisses.
This continued for several minutes and Oswald had relaxed even more. He was really being hit hard by the alcohol, hardly able to hear the lineup at the door yelling at him to get off the lady. But Oswald was concerned about making sure she was enjoying his attentions as she kissed him back and slid her hands under his collar.
When the car arrived and the driver honked his horn Oswald had to sadly part from you for a moment until you were seated and he closed the door. Now that he didn’t have a crowd Oswald decided to pull out all the stops.
At a later date he would recall pulling you onto his lap as the car drove through the streets of Gotham, closer to his penthouse.
He may have also have made some statements regarding taking care of you and disclosing how rich he was and perhaps may have asked if you had ever been with such a powerful guy.
To your credit you were trying really hard to shut him up by grinding on his lap.
“You wanna start something in here? You wanna make me fall in love with you or something?” He rasped as you gave him a break to catch his breath and smooth out his hair.
“Fall in love with me? You hardly know me.” You said, words falling on top of each other as you caught your breath.
“Oh I don’t gotta know you to fall in love with you. You just gotta show me some attention and I’ll make sure you’re taken care of.”
You hummed at that and decided he had said enough so you shoved his head into your chest where he remained until the car arrived at his parking garage and he hustled you up to his place.
As soon as the elevator doors opened Oswald stumbled in pulling you in. Stumbling around his house Oswald helped you discard your dress before he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pants. Stepping back a few more steps he got to his bed and pushed you down on it.
“Bet you don’t even know what’s comin’. I’m the whole package.” He slurred. “And you’re never ever gonna forget this.” He leaned down to help you onto the bed further, he didn’t catch that you rolled your eyes but were just trying to get going before he passed out.
‘Moron probably shouldn’t have drank so much’ you thought as Oswald boxed in your head with his right arm and lined himself up with the left. For a few short moments he rubbed himself on your folds, focusing on areas that made you gasp as you found yourself getting wetter.
Unfortunately that didn’t last anywhere long enough until Oswald plunged himself within you, bottoming out with a loud groan. “You like that? Huh?” He moaned out as Oswald started to thrust slowly.
Whatever he was doing was shockingly effective at making you clench around him making him raise his head back up as he inelegantly went back to kissing you, barely breathing as his lip were on yours. The whole situation was overwhelming as his thrusting grew faster as he was clearly paying attention to your moans as he lowered his head to suck harshly on your chest, making his way to your nipples.
“I’d do anything to keep you right here..” he garbled out as he buried his face in your neck, “Anything you say they word.”
His hips snapped against you as you were picked up by arms snaking around your lower back and thrown to the middle of the bed. Before you could speak Oswald had descended upon you again grabbing your legs, throwing them over his shoulders as he pounded back into you. The new angle felt like a ripple of electricity filling your body as you clenched and came from his fast pace. Only a few moments later Oswald followed, he twitched and released himself. He sat back on his haunches, placing kisses on your thighs as he caressed them with soft touches.
For a few moments after you both panted, attempting to catch your breath.
“You seem pretty pleased.”
Oswald smiled at that, “C’mere you.” He mumbled as he laid down roughly, the springs bouncing. You scooted closer as he reached his arm to pull you into his warm chest, the hair scratching at your face as you relaxed. You almost fell asleep until Oswald started peppering your face and hair with small pecks, mumbling his undying devotion to you in between each kiss until he yawned and fell asleep.
His loud snores and grunts filled the room, almost like a white noise machine. You yawned as you drifted off to sleep, patting yourself on the back for the great night you had.
You slept deeply until the light of day beamed right into your face. Waking you up with a groan when you realized how much your head hurt. The pain worsened as you sat up and held yourself up with a shaky arm.
You took a glance and the shifting figure next to you as he groaned loudly and turned over. Smiling you laid your other arm on his side as Oswald blinked at you and squinted in the light.
“You’re still here?”
The blood rushed from your face as your head pounded so loud you could hear your rapid heartbeat.
“What?” You said with a hollow voice, watching Oswald grimace and cringe looking around for his phone.
“I thought you would be gone by now…Listen doll I’m a busy guy, if you could head out that would be great.” He finished speaking before turning around and opening his phone as he started making a call.
For a moment you sat, seething watching the man who was literally saying he would do anything to have you not four-ish hours before. And now he was looking back at you, annoyed that you weren’t moving fast enough.
“Are you serious?” You said exasperated as you covered your self up further.
Oswald was already on a call, whispering into the phone like he was sharing some big secret and waving you off like you were nothing.
“Fuck you!” You said, voice rising as you threw your pillow and him and stood on shaky legs. Oswald was already back to his call, chuckling with the person on the other end as you dressed hastily.
“Asshole.” You grumbled as you hastily dressed yourself and left. At least you would never see this guy again. You were already on a group call with your friends telling them all the awful details
Back in the bedroom, Oswald got off his fake call. He hated using those kind of tactics but he didn’t have any time for nobodies trying to get with him. But he was a little pissed he had drank so much, he didn’t really remember what he had said to you that made you so upset to be sent off this morning.
Either way he would never see you again.
And he got to go on with his life as usual until about two weeks later when he was called in for an urgent meeting with Falcone.
That really made his heart drop as he saw that text message to appear immediately. This was surely about a situation Oswald supposedly wrapped up weeks ago.
He was almost caught skimming the profits of the Iceberg. Thank god Jimmy the bookkeep such a great fall guy, Oswald reported him to Falcone when he caught wind that there were suspicions of where money was going. Great guy, but he was an even better scapegoat. God rest his soul.
Oswald would have a shot in his memory if he was alive after the meeting.
Oswald hustled over to Falcone’s place, regretting that he had taken his new car out that day. The sales guy told him purple and gold were such classy colours but now his car looked like something a guy who skims books would drive.
Oswald just parked further away from the house and hobbled inside, the rich interior making him feel like the painfully inadequate middle man that he was.
He reach Falcone’s office, the doors opened by two intimidating guards and he was ushered inside before sitting roughly in the chair.
Carmine was reading some newspaper as he grinned to himself. “Welcome Oswald, I’m just reading the obituary for that rat Jimmy. Very beautiful, his mother picked a nice photo.” He sighed whist-fully as Oswald grinned.
He could feel the sweat build up under his collar as Carmine tore the paper apart and tossed it over his shoulder.
“What can I do for you Mr. Falcone?” Oswald asked meekly.
Carmine leaned back in his chair thinking for a moment before he spoke. “Oswald, you have done a truly commendable job at managing my club.”
“Thank you sir.” Oswald switched and was now basking in the compliment, fixing his hair and flashing a quick smile.
“However.”
That felt like a vice grip that just tightened around Oswald’s head.
“In the wake of such a betrayal, I would like to have my accountant supervise the club for the time being. To ensure my profits are not being disturbed.”
“Y-yeah of course.”
“Perfect, I think you should meet. She just arrived.”
A door to Oswald’s right opened and the clicking of heels on hardwood made him look at the source of the sound.
He was screwed.