Archive of Our Own

“You’ve reached Flights of Fantasy. How may I direct your call?” Ash rolled his eyes as he chirped vapidly into the headset. The voice on the other end of the line stammered awkwardly, clearly new to this whole process. He clicked the mute button and caught Shorter’s eye. “Newbie-- who gets to fuck with him?” 

Mr. Flustered was still trying to stammer out his request. 

“What if he wants a chick, Dumbass.”

“He’s tripping over his own tongue in my ear right now. He’s said a lot of dumb shit, but girl hasn’t figured into any of it.” He pushed his mute button again. “Mmmm. That sounds really hot. I’ve got just the partner for you, you naughty boy.” He hit the button again. “These kinky fuckers always want boys. Barely legal boys that sound no more than fifteen.”

“You ok?” Shorter asked. “I can take this one.”

“Nah. It’s what I’m good at.”  He ignored Shorters flinch. It was true after all. And this paid the bills without having to let anybody touch him. Ever.

“Ok. Go get ‘em, Tiger.” Shorter made a lewd gesture before hitting his own answer button.

Ash took a deep breath and a quick drink of coffee. Then he unmuted his phone. “Hello, Mister.” His voice was pitched higher, his cadence nervous. “Mr. Reece said you wanted to talk to me. I hope I can help you. Do you want me to tell you all about the things I confessed to Father Flannigan?”

The creep giggled. Oh Barf. “Yes. Yes, tell Daddy everything.”

Double Barf. “I saw this man. Everybody thought he was a nerd, right?” Ash simpered. “But I knew he was so strong. And smart too. And he knew just how to make me feel good. He taught me how to touch him too. I know it was bad, but…” Ash clicked over to a new screen and started a game of MahJong. He didn’t really bother listening to what this particular creep was saying. They all said basically the same thing.  “Oh Daddy, do you want me to do those things to you too? Father Flannigan says I mustn’t, but I want to. I really want to, Daddy. Please say I can.” He glanced at the clock. Ten more minutes. Ugh. 

Shorter’s over the top moan and shout of “Harder, Ungh!” caught him off guard, and Ash had to swallow a giggle. He turned it into a little aborted gasp. 

Then he threw a peanut m&m at Shorter and tapped his mute. “Fucking hell, dumbass!” 

Shorter made eye contact as he gasped out “I gotta! I can’t stop! I can’t… I can’t help it! Ungh!!! Just like that!”

Ash threw a whole handful before tuning back in to give a series of whining hiccups. “It hurts! It… don’t stop. I- I like it.” He got a little louder. “I w-want it. Yes! You’re so big , Daddy! I need… Please--” A timer flashed on his computer screen and Ash cut the call. 

“Is it necessary that you boys do this in my living room?” Nadia dropped a carton of spicy Sichuan noodles next to Ash’s elbow. 

“Yep!” He broke apart the disposable chopsticks. “We need an extra thou to fix the freezer. And you made us promise to give up running.”  He slurped a bite of noodles into his mouth as Shorter gave a perfect When Harry Met Sally diner performance, slapping his hand on the table as he yelled. Ash grinned. “And the living room has the best Wifi.”

“You could get an actual job, you know. Paycheck? Interacting with real humans?”

Ash grinned before licking sauce off his lower lip. “Gross.” He laughed when Nadia threw a dish towel at him. “The noodles are great Nads.” He paused. “Thanks.”

He was mostly done eating when another call came in. Ash sighed before grabbing the headset. Shorter was downstairs helping with bussing tables. He’d have to take this one. Hopefully this guy didn’t want anything too… violent. Those calls were rough for Ash. He could do it. But he’d just eaten and. Well. 

Whatever. Needs must. 

“You’ve reached Flights of Fantasy. How may I direct your call?”

“I see ad.” Just that. Nothing else.

“Yes sir? We do advertise.” Ash chirped happily. 

“I see ad. It say-- E ̄ tto-- It say if you are lonely--”

“Are you lonely?” Ash purred. 

“I am. I come to this country a few weeks ago. And I think… it will be easy to make friends. But I am wrong, no?”

Ash sighed. Ugh. This was going to be like pulling teeth. “I can be your friend, Mister.” 

“I-- good. Ad say I must pay. How?”

Ash forced his voice into his chipper customer service persona and explained the pricing structure and time limits. “And there will be no contact in real life. This is all just fantasy, right?”

“I-- I understand. I will pay.”

“Very good sir,” Ash simpered. “Do you know what type of friend you’d like to connect with?”

“Anno, yes. I like… I mean I want young man. Close to age. So college student?” 

“Ooh. College. Are you a college student, sir?”

The man laughed. “I am not sir. I am just me.”

“What do you want me to call you, then?” This guy had no fuckin’ clue. 

“You call me Eiji. It is how is done here, no? I am more used to Okumura-san?”

“I can call you whatever you want, big boy.” Shot in the dark.

“Oh. Ok. I say Eiji then. It is more American.”

What? Ash flipped on the timer. “Ok Eiji. What do you want to talk about?”

The voice on the other end of the line took a deep, noisy breath. “It is strange I do not know what you look like.”

“What’s your fantasy, Eiji?” Ash had no idea what to make of this guy. He wasn’t nervous. He was too clueless to be nervous.

“I want to be great photographer. Or fix ankle and then jump highest in world. But I cannot jump again because ankle heal bad. And class for photography is very hard in English.”

Finally, something. “I bet you’re an amaaaazing photographer, Eiji. You could take my picture, you know. Would you like that? If I got all hot and ready and you could pose me any way you like?” Ash let his voice go breathy. “I could do all sorts of naughty things.”

There was a pause. Maybe the guy was finally uinzipping and getting on with things. But then… “I have not taken nude photo. I would not mind, but mostly I take pictures of city. People in park or busy streets. Sometimes flowers or trees.”

“MMMmmmmm.” Ash drew it out, thinking. “What is your dream photo, Eiji?”

“I think if I get light just right, I would like to capture moment when person realize something wonderful. I want to capture joy.”

Holy fucking shit. The guy's voice was so… earnest. And-- Capture joy. What a breathtaking concept. “Tell me more…”

“Man would widen eyes, Yes. Like with surprise. But also there is warmth? In face? And beginning of smile? And everything is gilded--that is word, yes?” He paused.

“Yes.”

“Ok. Everything is gilded with gold light, like precious metal or, or magic. Or light of god, right? And it is just… wonderful.” Eiji laughed self-consciously. “It is silly, I know. Joy is fleeting. But that is why it is important to… what is word… save it. Protect it. I want to shoot many photos like that. Freeze time and save joy or innocence or love. That is fantasy. What about you? What do you want?”

Ash had gotten so wrapped up in this Eiji’s voice as he talked about such pretty things that he almost told the truth. Safety. He wanted safety. To feel all the way clean. To pay Nadia and Shorter back for the space they let him take up. To protect the men he couldn’t set foot out of Chinatown to save. He wanted to see Papa dead and bleeding. He wanted… Shit, he’s on the clock. “I want to make you happy, Eiji. Maybe you could take my picture. I could be your lust. Can you imagine? Would you get naked for me, Eiji? So that my eyes would hold the truth?”

Again there was a pause, long enough to be awkward. “The rule say we cannot meet in person. So you cannot be my lust. And anyway, I not incite lust in most people. It would not be a true picture.”

“I bet you’re incredible,” Ash murmured. “I bet you’re delicious.”

Eiji laughed. “You make me sound like food.”

“I bet you’re a feast!” Ash hummed, fighting a smile. This guy was adorable.

“I am not. I am just boring, lonely boy who pays money for friend on phone.”

“You’re not boring,” Ash blurted, dropping character. “The way you talk about your work… you could never be boring, Eiji.”

“You are nice to me. But maybe not honest with me, no?” There was a pause. “I not even know what to call you.”

“As--uh--Aslan. You can call me Aslan.”

“Ok, Aslan. I am happy you do not think I am boring.”

Ash tried, he did. He flirted. He threw out innuendos and propositions left and right. And this Eiji guy missed every mark. At the end of an hour (actually an hour and nearly ten minutes because Ash was just so damned shocked at the idea that this guy really just wanted to talk about photography and language barriers and the fact that there was nowhere to get decent manju in the city.) he was pretty sure the guy hadn’t even gotten hard. He certainly hadn’t started swearing or moaning. He didn’t seem to even realize Ash sort of expected it.

“Um. Our time is, uh, is up, Eiji. Did you… was this what you hoped it would be?” Ash couldn’t afford a bad review, afterall. 

“Oh. Uh, yes. It was very nice. I pay again tomorrow? I have big test. Will be nice to talk to friend after.”

The hours for the call center were listed. Ash didn’t usually do the phone thing on Monday nights. In fact, they mostly did their thing Friday through Sunday night with an occasional Thursday thrown in for shits and giggles. The exclusivity made them more sought after, which let them charge more while delivering less. Fridays were their big money-makers. And Sundays seemed to bring out the need to fall into fantasy in many folks. But Mondays were usually dead. And Nadia had her girls night after close on Tuesdays, which had the potential to create a really awkward situation. And Wednesday was usually for business. 

So he should say no. But he didn’t. Instead…

“I look forward to hearing all about it.” He was shocked to find himself reluctant to end the call. “Goodnight Eiji.”

“Goodnight.” Ash’s finger was touching the disconnect button when Eiji called out “Wait!” 

“Yes?” What now? Did the guy just notice that he hadn’t gotten off? Idiot.

“How… ei… how I make sure I talk to you, Aslan?”

“Any of our boys would be happy to talk to you, Eiji. You’re just splendid to talk to.” 

“I am sure all are very nice, but I like you Aslan. You are funny with your jokes and your silly voice. It make me smile. I will talk to you again if I can.”

And what the hell could he even say to that? “Um… you can ask for me by name. They’ll connect us.”

-oOo-

The next night, Ash ignored Shorter’s exaggerated eye roll as he clicked onto Eiji’s call, connecting him to himself. It was really fucking weird, when you thought about it. So Ash made it a policy to never think about it. He just dropped his over-the-top customer service voice and did his best to suppress a smile.

“Hello, Eiji. How was your test?”

“Hello, Aslan! I am so happy to talk again!” Dude even sounded like he meant it. Weirdo. “My test was… it was disaster. Chemistry is very hard in English.”

Ash hated to get into character. This guy was oddly sweet. And he’d almost certainly let Ash get away with not being some sort of sex fiend. Or whatever. He still didn’t know what this guy was into. Thing was, he almost, sort of liked talking to Eiji. It was normal, mundane. But a job was a job. “Would it help if I kissed it all better?”

Again the pause. “It is test, Aslan. I do not think kissing would work.”

Ash had to stifle a surprised laugh. “Kissing might make you feel better. I’m very good.”

“I think it would be nice, perhaps. But it not really help with Chemistry.”

Ash didn’t quite catch the laugh this time. “Kissing has everything to do with Chemistry, Eiji.”

“Maybe I say it wrong.” 

He could hear the confusion. And ok, fine.  “What do you think would make you feel all better?”

“Hmm. I need study partner,” Eiji sighed. “Did you ever take Chemistry, Aslan?”

The truth was no. He hadn’t. He hadn’t been to school since he left the Cape. But… he knew chemistry. And not just the sexual kind. And the guy was paying him. And according to a few websites, Eiji would be getting a pretty good deal for a tutor at this price. So…. Why the hell not? “What are you studying?’

“I not even know for certain!” Eiji laughed uproariously. Ash forced himself to join in. “Because I study Heisenberg. So it is funny joke, see?”

Ash caught himself chuckling for real. “That was a terrible joke.”

“And yet you laugh!” Eiji’s voice was triumphant. 

Ash spent the rest of the hour going over Eiji’s chemistry notes. And… he liked it. He liked it a lot.It was almost like he was a student himself. Who knew? Ash Lynx wasn’t just an unrepentant whore. Or a killer. He could play at being a real boy every once in a while too. 

Shorter was at his shoulder the minute he removed his headset. “What the fuck was that about, Blondie?”

“It was about some weird foreign kid that hasn’t figured out that fantasy means sex and evidently came looking for a chemistry tutor.” He shrugged.

“What? Why? How?” Shorter ran a hand through his mohawk. “Seriously?”

“I know, right? It was his second call, and I haven’t had to fake an orgasm or call him something stupid at all.”

“Awww, Blondie! I think you’ve got a crush?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yes, but I’m a correct idiot. This guy is your fantasy.”

“Yes, Shorter. You caught me. My biggest fantasy is to get paid to not pretend to have sex.”

Shorter sobered. “You know, I'm not actually sure it isn’t.”

And the worst part was, Ash wasn’t either. “Shut up, hair for brains.”

“Bite me, Angel Eyes.”

So of course Ash tried to bite his bicep. Because it was practically fuckin’ required after a taunt like that. And of course the whole thing devolved into a wrestling match that only ended because Nadia threatened to to get the hose. 

Shorter brought it up again as they tried to settle into his tiny bedroom to sleep. “You could, you know.”

“Could what?”

“Tutor or some shit. You don’t… The phone sex thing doesn’t have to be it, you know.”

“It’s fine, Shorter. I’ve been training for this job my whole life.”

There was a long pause in the dark. “You see, it’s shit like that that makes me wonder why I don’t just punch you in the face.”

“Easy. You’re blinded by my beauty.” Ash grabbed a sock he was pretty sure was Shorter’s anyway. “And because I will punch you back.” He paused to enjoy Shorter’s offended squawk. “And I’m better at it than you are.”

“Whatever.” But he laughed. And threw the sock back. And hit Ash right in the face.

-oOo-

The next night, Nadia and the girls went bowling. Because Chang Dai wasn’t what you’d call neutral territory, but Bones and Kong and Alex had all spent enough time there that their presence wouldn’t draw too much attention.

He heard the phone chime. But answering wasn’t an option.

Ash was tied up in a strategy meeting. He was working overtime to disband Lynx Gang, send his boys home or off to allies or even out of the city altogether. They were his guys. His responsibility. And he could hardly protect them hiding out in Chinatown and letting Lee dig his hooks deeper into Shorter in order to do it. But he’d tried to leave six times already, and when Shorter’s threats didn’t keep him from giving up any longer he pulled out the big guns.

Nadia fucking cried.

So.

He was doing his best to convince Alex to go back to school. Had already found Bones a solidly legit job. Kong was going back home to take care of his sisters, all debts paid. But some had no place to go. And he and Alex and Kong and Bones spent hours munching through dumplings and strategizing ways to make sure that Ash going semi-legit didn’t come crashing down on somebody else’s head. Skip was going to live with Bones, finish school. But Zinger and Loco? They weren’t safe. And other bosses might not have the control they needed. And… shit. 

And that didn’t even touch figuring out who it might be possible to shiv into position to take over Midtown. Prime real estate wouldn’t be left without some kind of boss. And Ash really didn’t want the power vacuum he and his gang were leaving behind to put somebody unsavory on Shorter’s flank. 

And he had a soft spot for the local winos and working girls. Sue him.

It was nearly 4 am by the time they had a workable plan they were all happy with. And they still needed to move enough of Dino’s product to keep him placated while they got everything in place. Ugh. 

Nadia tossed a pile of old blankets and lumpy pillows into her tiny living room and declared it too late to send the guys home.

And then Bones and Shorter made breakfast. And… he didn’t forget exactly. He just figured since he’d turned him down the night before that Eiji would stop calling. Like maybe the magic wore off. 

But it didn’t. At ten pm, just like on Monday night, a call came in. 

“Eiji!”

“Moshi moshi, Aslan. I miss you last night. Did you have fun with friends?”

“I, uh, yeah. I guess.” Shorter snorted and stole one of his egg rolls. 

“Simp,” He stage whispered.

“Suck my giant dick, asshole,” Ash hissed. 

“Um… I do not think I know those words?” Eiji sounded absolutely scandalized.

“Mute button,” Shorter sing-songed quietly. “Blondie’s in trou-bulllll.”

This time Ash did hit his mute button. “Shut up. Or I will shoot you in your stupid face.”

Shorter squawked in feigned indignation. “My face is stunning. I’ll have you know ten out of ten girls at the local bar love my face.” He paused. “And my dick.”

Shorter dodged the thrown dumpling. 

“I’m sorry Eiji. I--” Fuck. He what? “I would love to help you relax. Do you like massages, Eiji?” 

“I get sports massage sometimes, but I do not care. I do not love them or hate them. What about you, Aslan? Do you like massage?”

“Fuck no!” Shit. Client. Right. “I mean--”

“It is ok. I like it when you let yourself be real. You are interesting person, Aslan.”

They chatted for a while longer before Eiji asked, “You had meeting last night, yes? What did you talk about? Did it go as you hoped?”

“I. Uh. Yeah. I mean… I don’t love having to do things this way. But Lee won’t let Papa into his turf. So I’ve got some room to breathe, right? Only the boys I left behind need somebody to look after them. And don’t get me wrong, Alex is good. But they’re my responsibility, right?”

“That sounds like very big weight on shoulders, Aslan. What parts were good?”

And Ash found himself cataloging Bones’s enthusiastic whoop when he’d come in to see Ash alive and well and Alex’s slow pride at how Ash responded to his ideas and suggestions. “It’s nice to see them, to talk to them, as just a person. I-- I was always Boss before. I… It’s nice when Alex argues. Just a little. It…” 

The timer flashed. They’d spent half their time already. “Enough about me, Mr. College. How have you been?”

“I am ok. I am interested in hearing about your meeting. Was it very frightening? Did the other boys bring guns?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, Chinatown is safe territory but you never know right? Plus in the life, you pretty much always go armed.”

“I never even see gun in real life. Is it like movies?”

“I guess? I mean, the props they use for movies look real, but a lot of guys can’t afford the fancy shit. Bones’s piece is practically an antique.”

Shorter was giving him a funny look. He tapped mute while Eiji chatted about how he would be very afraid if he were at the meeting. “What? He’s paying. He gets to pick what we talk about.”

“You don’t work Wednesdays.”

Button press. “Oh, I’m sure you’d be very brave. I can hear it in your voice.” Button press. “I work this Wednesday. Dumbass.” 

“And his fantasy is to hear you describe Bones’s shitty rod.”

“Beats talking about my own rod while some fucker drools on himself.”  Button press. “I can just imagine my guys at your study group. The library would never be the same.” Eiji laughed. What the fuck was he even saying at this point? Button. “Go away, Shorter. I got shit to do.”

“Whatever. Have fun with your weirdo.” But Shorter’s smile was soft. “Glad you got one that doesn’t make your skin crawl for a change.”

Ash didn’t have a clue how to respond. So he didn’t. He just grinned and flipped his best friend off. Then he hit the button so Eiji would hear his laughter.

“You have nice laugh.”

“Thank you.” The timer pinged again. A ridiculous sketch with eyes squeezed shut and mouth open in a huge O shape flashed on the screen along with a message in Shorter’s scrawl. Time’s almost up. Get to the O, bitch. They’d really been talking about guns for almost twenty minutes? 

Wait. Maybe Eiji was into guns. Like into guns. Some clients took a bit to work up to what they really wanted. To be fair, they didn’t ask for help in Freshman Chem while they got up the nerve, but Eiji was a strange dude. Shorter was right about that.

Ash glanced at the timer. Nine minutes.  Not quite a record but damned close. Especially since he didn’t think Eiji was actually jerking off. Eh. Whatever. Leave him wanting more. Ash could manage to work an hour on Thursday too.

“So do you like guns, Eiji?” It felt odd to use that stupid, sultry voice now. But Eiji giggled, so Ash kept going. “Do you want to touch my rod?” 

Eiji laughed louder. He snorted once. It was cute. “Sorry, sorry. It is just… you said rod. And I know you mean gun, but my friend, or maybe just my study partner… He use that word for, um, inkei, erm for penis. And it seem funny.”

Ash was surprised enough to break character entirely. “Yes Eiji. That’s the point. That’s what makes it a double entendre.”

“A what?”

“A joke that is also a come-on.”

“Why do you want to come on? You do not even know me?” Eiji seemed confused rather than upset or disgusted.

“It’s literally my job, Eiji.” Ash rolled his eyes. “Wait. You do know what kind of phone shit this number is for, right?”

“Ad said fulfill fantasy. It say are you lonely? And I am lonely. I want… and fantasy mean want, I checked. I want friend to talk to. And now I have you.”

Ash didn’t respond. He couldn’t. He just sat in open-mouthed shock as the timer ran down. Finally, ignoring the flashing red on his screen, Ash managed to choke out something. “This is a phone sex line, Eiji. I’m supposed to… well, I mean--” Shit. Was he blushing? Seriously? “You, or not you, I guess, but people anyway, call in with some kinky fantasy and I role-play it for them. So like, if you were into--” What was something suitably vanilla? “Uhh…say hair pulling. I’d describe pulling your hair, maybe ask you to pull it for you and then have you describe how it feels. And then, I’d tell you about what I’d do while I was sucking your cock or whatever and… yeah…” Ash ran out of steam. “Dudes jerk off to it all the time.”

“And you like to do this? To talk about sucking cocks?”

“Well… it’s ok, I guess. A sight better than being forced to actually do it.”

“Maybe you should not let next caller touch hair. They are too rough.”

“It’s all fantasy, Eiji. That’s why there’s the rule about meeting clients. They can see my picture. And I can pretend to do all kinds of raunchy shit. But they can’t meet me or touch me or force me to do anything.” He knew his voice was too forceful. A far cry from his usual customer service voice.

“And these men. They want to pretend to force you?”

“Yeah. Or pretend I’m fifteen again. Or ten. Or shit, one guy asked me to take a video of me painting my toenails. Another asked me to let him call me Mommy. But mostly it’s just,” And here Ash moaned lasciviously, “Ohhh, Daddy you’re so big. And I’m so tight . I’ve never done this before. Are you sure it will fit?” Ash paused for a response Eiji didn’t give. “Oh, no. I’ll be good, Daddy. I don’t want you to have to punish me.”

Eiji was laughing so hard he was choking. “That sound very silly.”

Ash let himself laugh too. “Oh it is. Those guys don’t bother me so much.”

“Which kind do bother you?”

“The ones that are into the fear. They want me to be afraid of them. They want me to sound like a scared little kid. Sick fucks.”

“Why do you not hang up on those men?”

“Boy’s gotta eat. And make rent. And like I said, talking about shit is better than doing it. Once a whore, always a whore. Least this way I set the rules.”

“I do not know that word. What is whore?” 

Shit. He was just here running his mouth. Why was this Eiji dude so fuckin’ easy to talk to?

“Uh… sorry. Our time is up for tonight.”

“Oh. Yes, ok. I call tomorrow.” 

Ash opened his mouth to say he didn’t take callers on Thursday, but Eiji had already hung up.

-oOo-

On Thursday they talked about cooking. Describing their favorite foods and how to make them. 

On Friday they exchanged stories about siblings-- Big brother and little sister.

And on Saturday they did an emergency cram session for a Chemistry quiz on Monday. 

Evidently Eiji had an obligation on Sunday, but he dialed in on Monday night at the same time. He ended up chatting with Shorter for ten minutes while he waited for Ash to finish moaning out compliments for a man who claimed that if Ash ever met him he’d finger fuck him until he passed out from pure pleasure. The shitstain in men’s clothing interrupted his description of how he’d rail Ash’s unconscious body hard enough to need stitches to shout out a profanity laced orgasm barely twenty minutes into his hour long session. 

Ash was beyond thrilled to end the call. Mr. Shitstain had claimed he wouldn’t pay if Ash couldn’t make him cum in an hour. So fair was fair. Creep.

It was like the first sip of a soothing cup of tea to hear Eiji’s voice asking him if he knew anything about American literature. Ash gratefully chatted about Faulkner and Steinbeck and Hemingway until the screen flashed red.

“So you say… eto… you say the man who want to pull your hair has picture of you. Can I have one too?”

“W-why?” What do you think, moron?

“I talk to you more than one week now. I want to see who I talk to.”

Ash flipped through the album Shorter had made him. A good friend might take a few photos of you for a job, but only a brother would take pics of you with a lollipop in your mouth and your dick out. “How much of me do you want to see?”

“What are options?” Was that a smirk he heard in Eiji’s voice.

“Well, I’ve got one where I’m reading fully clothed and one where I’m naked with a giant green dildo in my ass. And just about everything in between.”

Eiji choked, needing a minute to recover. He sounded utterly scandalized when he finally managed to respond. “I not need one with giant dildo of any color. I will take reading picture.”

“Suit yourself. Normally a photo will cost you thirty bucks, but since you’re a frequent flier, I’ll comp you this one.”

“Frequent flier? I not fly anymore at all, Aslan.”

“No. I mean… It’s a slang term. It means you come here a lot.” And yet he never cums, Ash thought nonsensically.

“Yes, well I like you. I want talking to you frequently. It also helps with English skills, no?”

“I think you’d be better off with Sesame Street, but to each their own, I suppose.”

“You are funny fellow Aslan.”

“Call me Ash.”

“Ok, Ash” 

They made small talk while Ash sent the photo before agreeing to talk again soon.

“What the ever-loving fuck was that?” Shorter demanded when the call window finally closed for the night.

“I just ended a call with a woman who wanted to breastfeed me. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“The thing with that Eiji guy! The thing , Ash. Don’t be an ass.”

“I’m always an ass.” He paused. “And what thing with Eiji? I sent him a picture. We do that. I took your best seller. Sweaty abs with chipped nail polish. I belong in Moma.”

“It’s true. I am a piece of Art.” Shorter struck a ridiculous pose, flexing his muscles like a cartoon body builder. “But I meant the ‘Call me Ash’ crap.” Shorter flopped down onto his makeshift pallet and stole half his chips. “Real name, huh? You must really like this guy.”

“Aslan is my real name, Asshole.”

“Aslan is your birth name, Asshole . It ain’t the same, and you know it.” Shorter put a dumpling on Ash’s plate. “Eat real food. Just this once. For me.”

“I eat food.” Ash shoved the whole thing in his mouth, ignoring the way his stomach twinged. He was fine, damnit. “I had a whole ass salad for lunch.”

“Ass salad is not real food.” Shorter laughed at his own joke.

“It’s almost hilarious how funny you are not.” Ash stole a sichuan mushroom from Shorter’s bowl. 

“Yo, dude! What’s with the mushroom thieving? Those spicy bitches are mine, fucker.”

“The spicy bitches portion of the evening is over, Shorter. Now is the eating and shutting up portion of the evening.” Ash stole another mushroom. Holy hell that purple haired menace added so much hot sauce that he couldn’t tell if the actual food was hot or cold. He blinked away tears, opting to ignore the sweat that was popping out on his forehead. He stole another mushroom and a chunk of broccoli.

How was the broccoli even hotter?

Shorter was smirking at him. “I gave you dumplings you spice-intolerant bitch.”

Ash wanted to argue, but his entire esophagus was on fire. God, deepthroating a beer bottle hurt less. But he decided not to mention that particular fact to Shorter. 

He broke down and grabbed the rice. He took the teasing with some good-natured glaring and a strategic flip of the bird. He didn’t even point out that Shorter himself wasn’t eating his stupid super-spicy vegetables. Which he would normally be all over. Because that fucker set him up. However, he was more than happy to let it go tonight. Shorter seemed nicely distracted by his own hilarity and deadened taste buds. Thank god. 

The pain was worth it. Because he couldn’t answer Shorter’s stupid question. 

Because he didn’t know the answer. 

And seriously, he had a point. What the fuck was that anyway?

Maybe avocado would cut the burn of that piece of deadly broccoli? Did Nadia even have milk in the kitchen? Gah! His lips were on fire! Asshole.

He pressed his tongue to the glob of white rice, begging it to absorb the oily spice. And he forced himself to think. It was a decent distraction at least.

He’d been talking to Eiji for a little over a week. And he did like it. He liked it a lot. And he didn’t really understand why. He didn’t understand why a week of utterly failing to flirt with a man who was paying him for the privilege was so endearing. He enjoyed the chemistry work well enough, but it was hardly what he’d call challenging. He’d completed Chemistry 101 when he was thirteen. And he knew nothing about sports. And cared less. He liked to read. So maybe the literature discussion is what caught him. 

Only he knew it wasn’t true. 

He didn’t care about the books. Or rather he did. And he even sort of missed discussing literary themes and such. But Eiji barely understood the hefty English tomes. He might be brilliant in Japanese, but he was struggling to even follow the plot in English. 

He just… Eiji was kind. And honest. And he wanted something from Ash that Ash actually wanted to give him. He wanted friendship. And Ash sucked at friendship. Shorter not-withstanding. His crew feared and respected him, but he didn’t think they liked him. Shorter liked him, but he was different. A fellow boss, almost as dangerous as him. Shorter knew what he was. Shorter wasn’t a whore, unless this phone-sex thing counted, but he was a liar. A killer. A thief when necessary. A dealer with a gun. He was foul mouthed and violent and utterly terrifying.

And he had nightmares where he asked beloved comrades and family to hold on to keep breathing to look at him. Please. Please.

Ash loved Shorter like a brother. But Eiji… Eiji was sweet. He was kind. Innocent. 

And he was lonely. Desperately, achingly lonely. And Ash understood that.

Shorter had Nadia. And maybe Ash did too, a little. But it wasn’t the same. 

Ash was alone in a world where he didn’t know how to fit in. No family. No place that was truly his, that wasn’t begged for and borrowed. Stolen. Or so filled with horror and filth that the idea of calling it home made him nauseated. 

Eiji’s fucking fantasy was to have a real friend. Just somebody to talk to.

And Ash understood that. Ash wanted that too. 

Ash wanted something that hadn’t ever touched the world where his life clung in nasty corners like a fat spider waiting to pounce and kill and devour. 

Ash hadn’t touched anything that looked like innocence since he was in kindergarten. And Eiji… 

As the burn in his lips eased, Ash could feel himself spiraling. Shorter was right. What the fuck was he doing? He’d already said things that Eiji had no business hearing. The damned fool thought he wanted to get to know Ash fucking Lynx. Like that was something people did. He thought he wanted to be his friend. The kind of friend that talks about classes and drinks coffee at cafes and doesn’t shoot people or let them fuck you raw because fighting only makes it worse. 

And Ash longed for it. For a friend that had no idea how to get human blood out from under your fingernails. A buddy that had never sold somebody a hit knowing it would kill them. A pal that was so fucking innocent Ash had to explain phone sex to them.

Ash craved an innocence he barely remembered. He craved a time, a world , where you ate peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwiches with your big brother, listening to stories of far away places while sitting barefoot on an ancient porch that hadn’t been painted since before either of you were born. 

But who was he fucking kidding?

Not even somebody like Eiji could give Ash back anything like innocence. But Ash sure as fuck could leave inky, dirty fingerprints all over a sweet Japanese kid that thought a sex hotline was a place to find a tutor. 

Ash found himself scowling. 

“Careful, Blondie. Your face is gonna stick like that.” Shorter crossed his eyes at him. And he should laugh. He knew he should. He should say something crass and maybe vaguely threatening and let everything go back to normal.

He should. But instead, “Do you ever wonder when the last human part of yourself will die and all that will be left is filth and violence?”

Shorter opened his mouth to say something stupid and stopped. “Ash? You ok?”

“I’m exquisite.” Ash couldn’t help the angry twist of his lips. 

Shorter paused before taking a deep breath. “Ok… on a scale of I just need to get piss drunk to Prepare for armageddon, how big is this spiral, Ash?” For once there was no humor in his voice at all.

Ash forced himself to smile. Flip his hair. “I’m fine. Just spending too much time tutoring some well meaning  idiot on the commentary on the nature of humanity in Frankenstein. Forget about it, Shorter.”

“I will not. Because my best friend--no fuck that-- My brother is fighting his way out of hell and doing his damndest to make sure nobody else gets burned. And that’s bound to make you feel some shit. And also ‘cause you’ve been tutoring that Japanese cutie in American Literature and Frankenstein’s author chick was English.”

“How do you know that?”

“I have eyes. And I know how much shit would hit the fan if I tried to quit. And Lee ain’t the kind of possessive that freak Dino is. And when you get all philosophical and shit it usually means you’re fixin to shoot a whole lot of people. Only there ain’t nobody to shoot. So?”

“I meant the Frankenstein bit.”

“Look Angel Eyes. Just cause I dropped outta school don’t mean I’m an idiot. I read.”

“You read porn, Manga, and Instagram.”

“I also read Tumbler. And some of the spicy shit on AO3.” He grinned at Ash’s surprised snort. “What? I gotta get my material from somewhere. Had to look up some shit some dude wanted and there it was--300 stories all sorted for my reading pleasure. I bet I know shit now you don’t even know about.”

“I sincerely doubt it.”

“I do not. Do you know what mpreg is?”

“I… what?” Ash was lost. “What the fuck, Shorter? Are you making shit up?”

“I am not. It’s a thing. And Lots of people are into it. So there.”

“Ok. You read. I’m sorry.”

“Good.” Shorter grinned. “Also you told me about Mary Shelly and that whole seance with absinthe thing. She’s the mother of the modern horror genre.” He shrugged. “What? Chicks dig it when you look smart. And it makes Nadia happy when I manage to sound educated from time to time.”

Ash laughed. And Shorter visibly relaxed. “So real talk, Blondie. You Ok?”

“I might be losing my mind.” Maybe Shorter could say something to help him get his head back on straight.

“Ash. Liking a guy is pretty tame stuff. It ain’t crazy at all.”

“He’s… Shorter he’s so damned clueless he didn’t know Flights of Fantasy was a sex hotline. He’s talked to me almost every day for almost two weeks. And he… I don’t know… listens. And he talks about things like-- Do you know he told me I shouldn’t do hair pulling ,” He made exaggerated finger quotes. “Because it is too violent. Like-- I have cigar burn scars on my ass! I have let a client describe how he’d kill me, in detail, and moaned like I got off on it. I’ve--”

“I got it, Ash.” Shorter looked a little green.

“Do you? Because Eiji thinks hair pulling is too rough. For ME! And… he asks about my guys and talks about how scary guns can be. I don’t even remember how to be afraid of a gun. Hell half the time I’m not even scared when they’re pointed at my face. Because the worse they can do is kill me. And comparatively that isn’t really all that frightening, all things considered. And--”

“And you like talking to him.”

“He likes talking to me.”

“I like talking to you. So does Nadia. So does Bones. And Alex. Sing too when he can blink the stars out of his eyes. You're a pretentious bitch, but you’re an interesting pretentious bitch. Try again.”

“I like talking to him. I-- I like talking about books or homework or… I… it’s normal Shorter. It’s almost gentle. It’s so fucking… innocent. And I’m… I’m guilty as sin itself. And…” He trailed off, helplessly.

“And you forgot what being innocent felt like.” Shorter sighed, running his hand through his hair. “And I get that man. I worry too. Like, it shouldn’t be easy to slit a man’s throat. It shouldn’t be just another Saturday. And I get that. I get that part of me is rottin’ away in this life.” He sighed. “And I guess I get that it started for you when you was so damned little. And like-- I ain’t never had to sell it. Came close a few times, but I had this friend that saved my ass and kept me from facing that particular…” Ash watched him search for the word, horrified to find himself near tears. “Right. That particular indignity.”

“That doesn’t--”

“It fuckin’ does .” Shorter looked near tears too. “I know how you got that money, Ash. I know what you did for me and Nadia. I know what you’ve had to do for your guys. I know it weighs on ya. And maybe that kinda shit should weigh on you. I know it weighs on me. But… If caring is what makes a man human, I ain’t never met a man more human than you.”

“I don’t remember the last time I felt anything at all about killing a man. Or fucking one.”

“Last night around three am if your dreams are any clue. This room is tiny man. And I hear you. I hear. And I get it. Ok? Cause I know you hear me too. And I get that we don’t talk about this shit. And like, maybe we should, but I ain’t gonna have the guts again anytime soon.”

“I--” Ash had no idea what to say.

“Keep talking to Eiji. Ain’t a damn thing wrong with wantin’ normal. Ain’t nothing wrong with liking to talk to somebody either. He likes talking to you enough to pay for the privilege, so don’t get your panties in a twist about it. Just take the call, and maybe give the dude a discount or something. Aren’t college students supposed to be poor?”

“I-- Thanks Shorter.”

Shorter gave him a funny look but let it pass. “Make it up to me by teaching me how to do that thing on the computer where you get a name or a handle and you find out where a dude that might be endangering your turf is living or working or some shit. And then don’t bring any of this up unless it’s cause you need to talk. And do not tell Nadia because she worries enough.”

“Ok, Shorter. Who’s pushing into your territory?”

“I ain’t sure yet that he is. But you don’t stay alive in our line of work by assuming the best of people.”

“That is very true.” And they spent the next hour following various identity trails through the web. 

That night Ash dreamt of peanut butter and safety. 

-oOo-

Ash spent another week faking orgasms and building identities, complete with documents like forged birth certificates and high school diplomas, for his guys. It was tedious building bland, uneventful lives for street rats that had seen the very worst humanity had to offer. It was worth every headache and fabricated C- in Algebra II. 

Ash told Eiji all about it, talking well past the hour charged to Eiji’s credit card. 

“If you can make fake school diploma, why do you want your friend Alex to go to school?”

“Alex is smart. And if he had an education, a real one, he could do more that mop floors in some office. I just-- he’s a good strategic thinker. He handles the guys well. He's quiet, but he’s effective. He can follow orders, but he can give them too. I just-- Alex is… I can save him. Bones will be happy enough stocking shelves and washing windows so long as he has a safe place to sleep and enough left over for food and a decent drink once in a while. He’s a hard worker. His bosses will see it. I did. But… I can maybe get Alex all the way out. He could be… normal.”

“Janitor job is normal too Ash.”

“I know. I’m not some dipshit elitist that thinks labor is beneath people. It’s just… I don’t fucking know, Eiji.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What will you do when you are finally done being Boss? Will you finish school or mop floors or go home?” Eiji sounded genuinely interested.

“I don’t know. I don’t really know how to do much besides what I was trained for. But I guess I should get out of Shorter and Nadia’s hair sooner rather than later, huh?” That thought made his chest hurt. 

“You could be tutor. Or even professor! You are very good at Chemistry, Ash.”

Ash laughed, but he knew it sounded dulled. Where would he go? He should probably get around to forging himself a GED while he was at it.

“Or you are very good telephone friend.”

“Eiji, my literal job is to get my clients off. This is your twenty second call. Have you gotten off even once?”

“I have gotten a B in Chemistry and I have passed my literature class and I have been not as lonely. But no. I have not had orgasm while on phone with you.”

“Oh-ho! So you’ve had them not on the phone with me, then?” But he was only teasing. Like he might tease Shorter. He wasn’t trying to be seductive or anything.

“Erm… well, yes. I have many very big thoughts after some things you say. And I look up what some of them mean. And… and I think about sucking…ahem… rod. And… I am healthy boy, Ash. We have masturbation in Japan.”

“Why Eiji, you scoundrel!”

“I do not know that word. But you must not tell me you do not do such things.”

Ash didn’t. Much. It isn’t that he didn't want to get off from time to time. He was a relatively healthy young man and all his parts worked just fine. It was just that he didn't want to get off. It made him… remember. “I would never do such a dirty thing!”

“Maybe I should tell you to pull own hair then.” Eiji laughed like he’d just made a hilarious joke.

Ash felt a little ill. But not horrified. Not dirty. “Please don’t.”

“Ok Ash. That is only something to do if you want.”

Like it was that fuckin’ simple.

Four days later Shorter plucked his laptop out of his hands. “Enough. I got some shit to do, and I need back up. Let’s go, Blondie.”

And of course. Anything, really. Ash had his shoes on and his flannel tied around his waist before he even thought to ask “What are we doing?”

“I gotta see a guy about something and I need a witness. Neutral party shit. I don’t expect you to even need to draw. But keep your eye out, Ok?”

“Sure thing. Friend or foe?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

Shorter stood tall as Ash glared at a scared kid making a pretty standard drop. It was simple. Easy shit. Nothing that required Ash. But who was he to say? Maybe Shorter had a tail he knew about. Or the kid was sent to avoid the stand-off Shorter seemed to be expecting. 

Or maybe… Maybe that was just a pit stop. Because Shorter hadn’t been even a little nervous at the drop point, but he was nervous now. And guilty too. 

He led Ash a few more blocks and then up an alley and across the border to his turf. He deftly avoided Ash’s own but had to skirt some dicey areas to do it. This at least seemed like something Shorter might actually need him for. Although what the hell he was doing and where he was doing it remained to be seen. They walked almost twenty minutes before Shorter hesitated outside a little coffee shop. 

“Needing some caffeine there, Pineapple Head? A little scone before you tell me what the hell we’re doing here?”

“We’re three blocks from the campus of New York University.” Shorter wouldn’t meet his eye.

“Is this your way of saying I should go to school? That you should? Are we shaking down the performing arts department? What the hell, Shorter?”

“Don’t be pissed.”

“Shorter Wong, you of all people should know that any explanation prefaced by that particular phrase is guaranteed to piss somebody off.”

“I-- Let’s go in. And then… I’ll explain what’s going on, ok?” Shorter bit his lip, a tell he rarely allowed. Bosses that stayed bosses didn’t have obvious tells. But the bitch was lying.

“Shorter.”

“Just… just do it, Ash. You… you deserve it.”

“What? Shorter--”

But Shorter just opened the door and shoved him inside. “Have fun, Angel Eyes. Trust me!” His idiot voice was mostly drowned out by the combined sound of an obnoxiously loud bell above the door and some strange k-pop garbage playing too loud over the speakers. 

There was a short, but well muscled Asian man standing at the register. “Moshi Moshi! Welcome to The Golden Cup! Would you like a table or to order to…go.” The man trailed off, staring at Ash.

Or no. Not a random man. Ash knew that voice. He’s spent hours talking to-- Fucking Shorter. He was going to fucking kill him. How could-- Why would he-- Shit. “I, um…” He um what? Fuck. Just order a coffee and go. It wasn’t that hard. 

A smile split Eiji’s face. “I am not crazy after all. I think it is you, Ash. But then I think how could it be? I am just hoping to meet you. Only then you talk and it is my Ash after all!”

“Uh-- Hi.”

“Hello!” Eiji grinned at him. “I am sorry if this is not allowed. Do I--- erm-- I am not allowed to meet you. But here you are in shop at my new job! So I meet you anyway. I am rebel. Damn the rules!” And he laughed.

“I, uh, I didn’t realize you worked here.”

Eiji’s face fell. “I see. So you do not want to talk in person then?” He forced a sad looking smile. “I understand. Of course.”

“I do!” Ash blurted out the truth before he could stop himself. “Just because I didn’t know doesn’t mean it isn’t a nice surprise.”

“That is very good, Ash. Because it is very good surprise for me too.” He gestured to the menu. “If you order coffee I will make it and then we can sit and talk. Other customers do not come early in day. I do not make many tips.” He chuckled. “But I do not get confused with too many English voices either. So I still say this job is a good thing. A great thing now that it means I get to meet my good friend Ash!” 

Ash was having a hard time keeping up. Just order a cup of coffee, dumbass. His inner voice sounded an awful lot like Shorter. Ugh. “I’ll have a, um, cappuccino?”

“Very good!”

Eiji made him an exceedingly mediocre cappuccino. It was delicious. By the time he was half-way finished with it he’d found his footing. 

He sat for hours, drinking three cappuccinos and even ordering some pastry Eiji recommended. He ate it without tasting it. Eiji told him stories and asked him questions. He patted his arm or shoulder but didn’t grasp or grab or squeeze uncomfortably. He didn’t try to grope Ash or brush up against him accidentally .  He got up a few times to serve other customers, all to go orders. And each time he returned with a smile and a gentle touch that didn’t leave Ash fighting revulsion or reaching for his gun.

“Is that real gun?”

“What?”

Eiji gestured. “Is that real gun. In your pants?”

Ash forced himself not to make a joke about the rod in his pants. Barely. “Yes, it’s real.”

“Can I hold it?”

“Why the hell would you want to hold a fucking gun?”

“It keep you alive many times. I want to see what keeps my friend safe.”

Ash drew the gun, noting ironically the no firearms sign above the cash register. “Careful. Don’t touch the safety.”

“It is very heavy!”

“Well yeah. It has to be.”

Eiji handed it back. “Thank you.”

“Uh, you’re welcome?”

“You will not make joke about wanting to touch your other rod?”

Ash couldn’t help it. He flinched.

“I am sorry! I do not want to make you uncomfortable. I just-- you make this joke many times on phone.”

“It’s fine, Eiji.” Jesus fuck. He needed to get his shit together.

“If you do not like those jokes why do you make them?”

“I don’t mind--”

“That is lie, Ash. Your body says the truth. You do not like them.”

“I… It’s not that I mind the jokes. Shorter makes them all the time. I just… I don’t… do… that sort of thing in real life.”

“Why?”

“Because when they force you enough times there’s a great deal of attractiveness in not doing it.”

“That is sad, Ash. But I will not force you for anything. I not even make you order coffee next time you visit.”

“You want me to visit again?” Ash was almost not even surprised. He was almost able to actually believe that Eiji genuinely liked him.

“Yes! Many times I wish for you to visit. I wish to see my friend when he smiles or when he frowns. I is my want. My fantasy.”

Shit. “You know what, Eiji? I think… I think this, right here? I think it is my fantasy too.”

“Wonderful.”