Archive of Our Own

"and we have to let them know?" fox said into his comm.

wolf's exasperated reply came crackling through. "for the last time, pup. if my team catches us and they don't know why you're there, they will just kill you. no questions asked."

"and what's to say they won't kill me even if they do know why i'm there?"

"because i'd kill them if they did." fox swore he could hear wolf's confident smirk through their comms. "and i'd make it at least twice as painful."

"how romantic," fox said, deadpan.

"don't get it twisted, pup. i'm just protecting what's mine."

fox was annoyed by how arousing the thought of being wolf's property was. he tried to focus only on following the wolfen in front of him through the asteroids of meteo.

"there it is. sargasso. home sweet home, or the closest thing to it." wolf sounded jaded.

it was the first time fox had been there during peacetime. he was surprised to see that much of the damage from star fox's attack remained. burns left by lasers from the dogfight scarred the metal, and rubble floated around. wolf's wolfen flew down towards an open bay, and fox followed.

a voice came onto their comms line. "alright, fuckers, i assume you've killed or captured o'donnell and taken his ship to try fool us, so you got about five seconds to explain yourselves before we start shooting."

"i'm disappointed you think i'd go down so easily," wolf replied icily.

"lord o'donnell. you got a reason why one of corneria's dogs is following you?"

"yeah, it's called none of your fucking business, asshole."

"you being coerced? if they've got dirt on you, we're not going down with you."

"cy, if you value your life, i'd recommend you stand down."

"or what? the gun's trained on him. i don't see any reason why i shouldn't take out one of the biggest thorns in our side, right now."

fox was tired of being talked over. he pressed the button to turn on his mic. "i'll tell you why. i've got my computer back on the great fox rigged up to tell everyone exactly where i went if i don't enter a password by the end of the day tomorrow. corneria's only left you all alone because they don't think you're a threat. you shoot me down now, they gotta re-assess that. chances are they'd come down on this place, hard. so go ahead, fire away. although, honestly, i've shot this place up once before and i'll bet i can do it again."

there was a moment of stunned silence.

"you heard the pup. so, we gonna have any trouble?"

"...no, lord o'donnell." fox's sensitive ears caught a muttered "pain in my fuckin' ass" before the line went dead again. wolf's wolfen came into the bay and landed. fox steered his arwing to land beside him, so close their wingtips were only inches apart. the airlock closed, the atmosphere cycled, and wolf and fox opened their cockpits and jumped out.

"damn, pup," wolf said, reaching for fox's hip. "you got balls. you're lucky cy's terrible at sniffing out bullshit, though, 'cause you're a bad liar, but you got balls to even try and pull that bluff."

fox stopped fast wolf's hand, squeezing it painfully. "i wouldn't have had to say anything if you had more respect from your own men, 'lord' o'donnell."

wolf rolled his eye. "i got respect with the ones who matter. we can't all be liked by everyone, hero boy."

"what do you mean, 'liked by everyone'? your guy literally just talked shit on me, asshole!"

"he talks shit on everyone!"

"then you've got insubordination!"

"pup, i don't need you to tell me how to run this place. how many people are you in charge of? four?"

"fuck you!" fox snarled.

"fuck you first," wolf growled back, leaning in and baring his fangs.

"you asshole. fuck you up your fuckin' ass."

wolf's claws crept around fox's neck. "fucking try it, pup."

"you piece of shit, maybe i will." fox leaned in, reaching his hands under wolf's jacket. wolf's breath hitched. he ran a claw under fox's chin before reaching around fox's neck to pull them together. his hips bucked against fox's. fox groaned in anticipation.

"go on then, pup," wolf crooned. "why don't you show me how you'd treat the men under you."

a cough from behind startled them both. "that was abyssmal," a smooth, haughty voice said. wolf and fox sprang apart.

"leon!" fox exclaimed.

the chameleon in question ignored fox and eyed wolf dispassionately. "i came to see why you'd bring corneria's brat to our doorstep, but it seems the answer to that has been made abundantly clear. too clear, some might say."

"hey, leon. so i'm fucking mccloud."

leon arched an eyeridge. "do you mean you are to fuck mccloud imminently, that you are habitually fucking mccloud, or that you are mccloud, with 'fucking' as an intensifier?"

"the second, wiseass."

"it's an important distinction. it lets me know whether i should kill him when you're done."

fox recoiled. "was that on the table?"

leon shrugged. "when the second foremost on my hit list shows up in our base and promises to be undressed and therefore unarmed at a later juncture, it's too fortuitous an opportunity to pass up without good reason."

"wait, i'm only number two? who's on top?"

"pepper."

fox hissed. wolf ruffled his fur. "don't take it personally, pup. it's not that we don't think you're more dangerous than the old fart. we just think taking him out would do us more good. so unless you're planning on taking over his position..."

"bleah. i'll pass. i get more than enough red tape to deal with as is."

"so we're not to kill mccloud," leon confirmed. "are we defending him from the murder attempts no doubt imminent?"

"he should be able to look after himself. also, ideally, we're keeping this on the down low. don't want a riot on our hands."

leon nodded. "understood. neither murder nor prevent from being murdered."

fox shifted from one foot to the other. "wait, you're not gonna help me if i'm being killed?"

"sink or swim, pup."

fox closed his eyes, exasperated. "fine. just don't blame me if your new fucktoy ends up dead."

"i have faith in you, pup. i'll be pissed if you die here, of all places."

leon laughed, in a way that was unnervingly completely devoid of humor. "i'll send caroso in to check on you. have fun, wolf." he scampered away.

wolf frowned. "if he actually gets panther to check on us- no, he better fuckin' not."

"he's... insane," fox said, disbelieving. "i thought he'd be more normal around his 'friends', but he's actually insane."

"that's a bit rude, pup. he's just your run-of-the-mill psychopath. he means well." wolf thought for a second. "that's a lie. he'd stab me in my sleep if the whim struck him and i didn't sleep with, heh, one eye open. but he cares about us, in his own fucked up way. you just gotta think different around him."

"whatever." fox reached his hands under wolf's jacket again. "where were we?"

wolf looked around, checking that the room was still empty. "can we not do this here, pup? move to somewhere more out of the way?"

"wolf o'donnell, listening to common sense over his libido? unheard of."

"wolf o'donnell, wanting to avoid getting a knife in your back, and one in his as well for his trouble?"

fox looked behind himself nervously. "you really think they'd kill you for this?"

"fox, there are some people in life who are just waiting for you to fuck up so they can pounce on it."

fox shook his head. "don't i know it."

"right, but the difference is that if you fuck up, you get a slap on the wrist or a strongly worded message. i get shot and left to die in the street."

"...i've gotten more than my share of death threats."

"really? people want you dead?"

fox frowned. "well, yeah. the war ended a lot of lives. i ended a lot of lives. and every time i say something in public, someone decides that i, personally, am responsible for their dad going off to die or whatever. so they send me a message or, if they're really feeling fucked up, a letter, telling me they're going to shoot me or bomb me or knife me."

"cowards," wolf growled. "fucking cowards. tell me the next time someone does that. i'll rip their throat out with my teeth."

fox was surprised to see the level of rancor in wolf. he grinned and poked wolf in the side. "aw, are you protective of me? do you want to keep me all to yourself?"

"no one's killing you but me, pup."

fox was inexplicably turned on. he fought the urge to tackle wolf right where he stood, instead looking for the exits from the hangar. "where are we going? you've got a bed, i'm guessing? or are you so rugged and ruthless here that you sleep on the floor."

"very funny. come on." wolf led the way out through another airlock and into a bare hallway. the walls were badly rusted metal, the floor tiles cracked with some out of place. "i've got a couple of places that are mine, actually, but all of star wolf sleeps close to the hangars. makes it easier to get out if we need to, y'know?"

"this place is a dump," fox observed.

"yeah, well, we don't all inherit a shiny government-sponsored mothership from our dead dad. some of us just get gambling debt and a half empty bottle of booze." he stopped at an unmarked door, notable only for the heavy, badly scratched lock. wolf turned a key and opened the door. "here we are. this is my den."

wolf's bedroom was surprisingly pleasant. a set of weights took up one corner, a computer system another. a mini-fridge and small camping stove passed for a kitchen, and a closed door presumably led to the bathroom. wolf's bed itself was an ugly iron thing with a rough quilt thrown on top of the fraying mattress. the walls were tastefully decorated with a selection of knives and blasters, a few maps of the system and sargasso, and-

"is that me? why do you have a photo of me on the wall?"

"dartboard," wolf explained curtly.

"but you don't have any-"

wolf flicked a knife out from his belt and threw it into the wall. it stuck, point first, into the forehead of fox's picture.

"and that's what i'd do to you if we weren't fucking."

fox tilted his head. "but there weren't any holes in it when i came in."

"shut up and get on the bed," wolf ordered.

"whatever you say." fox laid down, taking off his jacket. wolf slipped off his jacket and shirt as well. he crawled onto the bed next to fox. his hands slipped under fox's shirt, then into his pants. fox made an undignified noise. "your hands are cold!"

"your ass is warm. god, i have been wanting your cock so badly. i seriously couldn't fuckin' wait for this."

"aw, poor needy wolf can't live without my dick."

"shut the fuck up, pup. fuck, i hate your stupid beautiful face. i hate your perfect body. i'm going to ruin you."

fox found this extremely hot. "you can't ruin me. i'm already ruined."

"we'll see about that, pup." wolf greedily pulled at fox's pants. fox laughed at his struggle before helping him. wolf humped at fox's thigh as he slid down fox's underwear.

"damn, wolf. you really can't deal without my dick."

"i want to ride that thing so hard you'll-"

"hellooo!" panther pushed open the door. "panther hopes he is not interrupting your sexy-times."

"son of a bitch!" wolf roared, gritting his teeth.

"ah, you are in the middle of having fun with your boyfriend. but panther noticed you did not lock the door?"

"fuck." wolf put a hand over his eye. "that coulda been real bad, actually. shit. i gotta be more careful." he looked up at panther, standing with his arms crossed and a smug look on his muzzle. "wait, mccloud is not my boyfriend!"

"you are fucking him regularly, yes? and you kiss him as well?"

"that makes him a fuckbuddy, not a boyfriend."

"panther does not see the difference."

"the difference is that we don't, i don't know, go on dates or shit. we just fuck. that's all."

panther gave a knowing look. "but would wolf want to go on a date with mccloud?"

wolf bared his teeth. fox looked away.

panther shrugged. "i think you could learn a thing or two about romance from panther."

"oh, excuse me, i forgot i was talking to mr. ladykiller supreme. what do your womanizing ways have to do with dude-fucking?"

"panther knows about men. beautiful men, just like beautiful women. i do not mind either way."

"wolf did call me beautiful earlier," fox pointed out.

"see? panther understands your dude fucking." panther beamed.

wolf gave fox a noogie. "don't encourage him. panther, as you can clearly see, we're all good here. you can go. just make sure the door locks behind you."

"panther understands. this is the 'sexile'." he winked. "good luck with your fucking!"

wolf sighed as panther left, gently closing the door behind him. "and now you've met both of my squadmates."

"he's nicer than i thought he'd be, given that he's usually creeping on krystal."

"he gets on my goddamn nerves. fucker thinks the job's all honor and romance. and he is just constantly on that girl whenever we're fighting your team."

"aw, fuck." fox bit his lip. "okay, i had an idea. you might not like it."

"shoot, pup."

"we could give him a good fucking to get him to chill the hell out about krystal."

wolf closed his eye. "...shit."

"you don't think it'd work?"

"no, the problem's that i think it would. i can definitely get him to swing that way, and if we can distract him- fuck, i can't believe i'm actually considering this."

"he's hot, too. i wouldn't mind. could be fun."

wolf groaned. "don't let him hear you say you think he's hot. the last thing i want is to encourage him."

"oh, no. that'd just make things a thousand times worse."

"he's not as hot as me, though, right?" wolf turned his gaze hungrily upon fox once more.

"i don't know... he's got two handsome eyes..."

wolf grabbed at fox's crotch. "you're gonna pay for that, pup."

fox smirked. "ooh, did i hit a nerve? are you jealous? maybe i'll date him instead of you. maybe he'd be willing to be my boyfriend."

wolf frowned and fell silent, letting go of fox's penis. fox was concerned.

"you good? i thought you couldn't wait to get my dick in your ass."

"is that something you want? someone to be your boyfriend?"

fox was caught off guard. "what?"

"'cause, i'm gonna be honest, pup, i don't think that's something we can ever do."

fox looked down, to where his hands were kneading the quilt nervously. "...yeah. you're right. that's... i'm okay with that."

"it's not like i really want anything like that, anyways," wolf said. "i just can't get enough of you. i hate every hour we have to spend apart. it fuckin' sucks that fucking corneria would probably just shoot me on sight if i tried to go anywhere with you."

"...yeah," fox agreed. "shit sucks."

wolf rubbed fox's shoulder. "but hey, you can always come here. i'll make them let you in any time you want. and if they try to give you trouble, i'll feed them their own claws."

"you're gonna regret saying that when i come back here to fuck three times a day, wolf."

wolf laughed. "i'll never get anything done." he leaned in and kissed fox on the muzzle. "it'd be worth it, though."

fox smiled. "for real, i can come anytime you want. just call me. if you want to keep me overnight, we can probably stage something, too. you can pretend to shoot me down again or something."

"fuck you, appealing to my interests. you know i love fucking with your friends." wolf wrapped his arms around fox and pulled him into his chest.

"i love you too, wolf." fox tucked his head in the crook of wolf's neck and stayed there until wolf impatiently started to hump their hips together. "you needy, needy wolf..."