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Jon had known Sasha for years. They were close, and he would consider her a friend. Maybe friend wasn’t the right way to put it, maybe it was more than that. The late nights spent whispering together, crashing on each others couches after staying at work for ungodly hours, small kisses in the morning making breakfast together. They understood each other in such a way that nobody else did. They were something more than friends, although Jon knew Sasha didn’t like putting labels on things.
No, no. That wasn’t right. They had known each other for years. They were friends. Maybe friends wasn’t the right way to put it, they didn’t talk much and they weren’t exactly close. Sasha wasn’t one for staying up late, and she definitely never stayed at the institute after hours and they definitely never kissed. Sasha had a boyfriend named Tom, who she spent every lunch with. Jon and Sasha were just friends. Or at least, they were before his promotion. He knows he didn’t deserve the promotion, he knows he stole it from her and he feels terrible about it. Sasha and Tim knew that too, and while they tried not to show it, it bled through. He was scared that he would lose everybody’s respect for him and they would all find out that he didn’t deserve it, so he took it out on Martin, tried to gain his footing somewhere, tried to make Martin look smaller so that he could look bigger. Sasha wasn’t happy about that either, and instead of talking it through like they were supposed to, Jon locked himself in his office and withdrew himself from his coworkers out of shame and guilt. After the worm attack, him and Sasha-
Wait. No. That also wasn’t right. Sasha deserving the promotion over him? That doesn’t make any sense. Sure, he felt like at this point anyone deserved his job over him, but why would it be Sasha specifically? She was completely ordinary at the job. She wasn’t any better than Jon. She was just.. doing her job. He lashed out at Martin because… why did he do that? He doesn’t know why he did that. Stress of the promotion, he supposed. He locked himself in his office and withdrew himself from his coworkers out of shame and guilt.
Nothing changed with him and Sasha after the worm attack. He realised his predecessor had been murdered and he went off the deep end sure, but Sasha had stayed the same. Always there. Always normal. Always the same. Nothing was ever wrong with Sasha, nothing is wrong with Sasha.
So then why- Ergh. He’s sure its nothing. He doesn’t know why he’s letting his mind run circles about it. It’s late, he clearly isn’t thinking straight. He’s just letting his paranoia get the best of him again. Christ, he needs to sleep. Of course nothing is wrong with Sasha, what is he even thinking?