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Vander ran through the daylight streets of Zaun, tears gouging his face, heart boiling over in his chest, breath unravelling and re-ravelling his entire soul. He barely recalled handing off Claggor and Mylo to Benzo at the bar, giving Powder a sleep draught before she could make herself sick, getting a message to Sheriff Grayson to stall the investigation, alerting everyone in the lanes to stay inside and lie low…
The only thing he recalled in excruciating detail was the walk from Piltover back to Zaun, carrying a lifeless young body in his arms, her pink hair as dull and cold as the rest of her. He’d put her some place safe for now. He couldn’t… It was too much. And right after setting her down, only one thought had lodged inside of him, burning with a pain that felt almost like relief against the agony of what had happened. He had to tell her other father. This all couldn’t go on, and he had to tell her other father. Because Vander already had enough things he couldn’t forgive himself about, but this one would not be an addition to that list.
He owed as much to Felicia. He owed so much more to Vi. And in the end he still owed…
“SILCO!”
Vander burst into the warehouse. He knew this was where his old friend ran his affairs, he knew that someone had probably seen him coming from a mile away, he knew that he might as well have asked for death by showing up here. But there was no time for subtlety or diplomacy or strategy anymore. They had failed, so deeply. And even if he took every bullet this place had to offer and needed Benzo to pry them out of his body with nothing but an ice pick and a bottle of sterile liquor, he would deliver this message in person one way or another.
There were stirrings in the building, cagey movements in the shadows. Vander looked all around, shaking. “SILCO!” He howled, face wet and knees weak. “GET OUT HERE! IT’S OVER…”
From a high landing, there was a movement…and Silco’s face appeared from the shadows. He looked so cold and removed and aged in the half light. He held a gun, polishing it with his other hand. “It must be, or you wouldn’t be here for your slaughter.” His eyes narrowed. “So, what is it? What precious thing is over, Vander?” He aimed.
Vander gritted his teeth and slammed his bare fists so hard into the floor that it shook the building even up to Silco’s level. “Violet!” He choked. “She’s dead!”
Silco blinked once. The vibration slipped the gun from his hand and made it clatter into oblivion as Vander fell to the floor and sobbed.
_______________________
Silco had no idea why he went through the motions of helping Vander that afternoon. Why he walked down to the lower level of his hideout. Why he kneeled to the ground, listening to the man’s agonized cries. Why he cried too in silence until darkness came on. Why he actually felt scared when Vander stopped crying and moving, like perhaps the shock of the death had been too much and his heart had simply given out. An emotion could not kill this monument of a man, right? And yet…
When Silco’s hand touched Vander’s back, he felt faint breath and also felt relief. It was then he knew, despite their hatred and history, something needed to be done. And he was the only one left to do it. The doctor and the others were probably watching, judging his weakness, but none of that mattered because all he could think about was Felicia and how kind and good and right she had been, and how she had asked himself and Vander for one simple thing — to protect her little girl — and how they had failed her today in every way.
Yet, he and Vander were still here, and the bones of Zaun were still here, and the second little girl — Powder — was still here. Silco hadn’t gotten this far by caving in to other people’s expectations or turning a blind eye to the need for change. He was a leader, and probably the only one who could remind Vander how to be a leader again. The experiments and plans and revenge could wait for just a moment. Other parts of life mattered too.
So Silco poised up Vander to stand, gritted his teeth, and trudged with him slowly all the way out of the warehouse and back to The Last Drop.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Benzo sputtered the moment Silco entered with a nearly catatonic Vander.
“Her daughter is dead!” Silco spat, voice rough, eyes wet as he headed to Vander’s room. “I hate him…but I’m not a monster.” He paused before the door and trembled. “Where’s…the other one?”
Benzo eyed him closely. “Asleep, downstairs. The boys too.” He swallowed. “Silco, thank you for bringing him here, but I think you should hand off Vander to me and leave.”
“…No.” Silco didn’t even look back as he got the door open and pulled Vander inside.
They had started this whole thing together, and they would end it together. Tomorrow he might be ready again to put a bullet right through Vander’s eye…but not right now. One night wouldn’t change anything.
He got the big guy in bed and collapsed to sit on the floor, breathing heavily. A small whimper left Vander. An instinct made Silco reach out and touch his hand. “I’m here. And you’re here. And the younger one is here. And no one will touch this place or you tonight. You have my word.”
A sigh like the end of ages left Vander. “We have to bury her…Vi. Like we buried Felicia. Tomorrow.”
Silco scowled more and stiffened but nodded. “Fine. You will be safe until that’s done. Then I’ll go.”
Vander gave a small nod. And he gave Silco’s hand a squeeze.
Silco tried not to take comfort as he let silent tears fall in the darkness.
_______________________
No one touched Vander or his family or any part of The Last Drop that night…or the next night after Violet was buried…or the next night or the next…because Silco was still there. Vander felt the man watching him, studying him, eyeing his every moment closely.
“Silco, what is it?”
“Nothing. Just waiting for you to be yourself again. There’s no point if you’re not.”
Vander regained his strength and senses as quickly as he could. He talked with the Sheriff, he talked with the people, he talked with the boys… He held Powder close while she cried every waking moment. He needed a lot of rest between it all, but he got by.
Finally, on the third night, he was alone in the bar inking Vi’s name on the back of his hand when Silco stepped out of his room and looked him up and down. “Hmm…you’re better now. That’s closure, right there.” He nodded to the tattoo. “I’ll go.”
“Wait!” Vander had just finished. He set the needle aside.
Silco paused. “What?”
“It’s late. At least let me pour you a drink. Share some dinner. Something. Please.” Vander frowned and waited.
After a beat, Silco turned around. He glanced at a clock on the wall. “Fine. It’s half an hour to midnight anyway. Might as well let you have the rest of the day.” He resumed a seat at the bar.
Vander carefully poured two drinks and then pulled a platter out of an icebox — a couple of cold sandwiches and tentacles.
“Menu never changes here, does it?” Silco mused.
“Was that a joke?” Vander almost smiled.
“No.” Silco scowled and took a bite from a sandwich.
Vander sighed, eyeing his drink. “Thank you for coming and for staying and for understanding.”
“Don’t.” Silco swallowed. “It’s over now.”
“I know.” Vander nodded. “But thank you all the same.” He blinked back a few tears. “I wish…if it had all been different, I wish Vi had gotten to know you. And Powder too…”
“The only thing left to know is that you failed to realize the dream you promised their mother whereas I will still succeed at it!” Silco shot back.
Vander blinked. His brow furrowed in pain. He shook his head though. “No, there’s more than that to know about you.”
Silco’s eye twitched. He stood up and slammed his hands on the counter. “You don’t know anything about me anymore!”
“Exactly! Another mistake I can’t fix!” Vander slammed his hands down as well.
They were both ready to rage.
Suddenly they heard the screaming of a young girl, like all of her nightmares were coming true.
“Powder…” they breathed at once.
They raced downstairs, Vander in the lead, and found the little girl sobbing in bed, eyes wide and fearful, fingers digging into her nail beds and drawing blood while she grabbed her hair and pulled so tightly. “No, Vi, no, Vi, no, Vi, no, Vi, NO, VI, NO, VI, NO—”
“Powder, Powder, it’s okay!” Vander sat on the bed and gently took her shoulders. “Shh, it was another bad dream. It’s over now.” His hands managed to slide over hers, preventing further injury.
Still, Powder struggled. “No, I-I can hear her — I can feel her — she can’t be gone. Her being gone is the nightmare, and this here is just a nightmare in the nightmare! I’ll wake up all the way, and she’ll be back! Vi, Vi, Vi…” Her eyes shot up, and she blinked and gasped. “Who are you?!” Her gaze had found Silco in the dark.
Vander watched as Silco stepped back…but didn’t leave. “I…am an old friend, of your mother. I knew your sister a long time ago. I’m very sorry.”
“If she’s dead why can I still hear her?!” Powder nearly leapt from Vander’s grasp, lunging toward Silco.
Silco blinked, frozen for a moment.
“Shh, Powder, it’s just memories…” Vander tried to reassure.
“And it’s also…how you remember her,” left Silco.
Vander raised an eyebrow.
Silco sat on the edge of the bed and went on. “Your sister lives on through her time with everyone she touched, but especially her time with you. Still hearing her is a lot to bear. It’s your shared love and your personal grief needing to find expression. You don’t have to fight or fear the voice. Just find a way to express the experience and share it with others. You won’t ever forget Vi. Never let anyone else do the same. Do you understand?”
Powder blinked a few times. Then she nodded. Vander’s hold had relaxed as he listened to Silco’s words, and Powder took the opportunity to dive forward and hug Silco tightly. “Thank you… I don’t want her to leave.”
Silco stiffened, so unsure. Vander just continued to watch… and finally the man lightly stroked the girl’s hair. “She’ll be with you in every world.”
Powder let out a big sigh. When she pulled back she looked so exhausted. Vander gently laid her down and tucked her in and kissed her head. She clung to a pillow and let her eyes close.
He and Silco left without a word. They paused at the top of the stairs before entering the bar again. Vander bit his lip. “Silco…she might need you.”
Silco whipped around. “Well, I don’t need YOU.” His eyes shone with tears.
Vander’s knew his eyes were full of tears too. “I know. I know. But we all need someone sometimes.”
“You tried to kill me.”
“You almost got ALL of us killed.”
“I don’t forgive you.”
“I don’t forgive myself.”
“Felicia trusted you!”
“Felicia saw something special in US!”
There was so much trembling rage and sadness and pain coursing through both of them. In seconds that felt too slow, Silco lunged forward like he meant to attack and Vander caught him and pinned him against the wall, and then in the heat and dark their bodies pressed together and their mouths caught in a vicious kiss of teeth and tongues that drew blood.
When they separated, Vander realized he hadn’t seen Silco’s good eye look so blue in so long.
Silco wriggled free and stormed away — Vander could hear him sputtering and swearing under his breath as he wiped at his mouth that he would never ever return to The Last Drop ever again.
_______________________
Silco returned to The Last Drop several times, however. First, secret visits to drop off toys for Powder and blankets and treats for the boys. Then, less-than-secret appearances hiding in corners as Vander met with the Piltover Sheriff and discussed some new policies in the wake of Vi’s tragic death — specifically a major deescalation in hostilities to prevent petty crimes and the loss of young lives on both sides (especially since the attempted theft by their side had revealed a young man from Piltover had been working with potentially dangerous arcane magic resources, a crime even more severe than burglary). They were working it out and Silco wasn’t entirely disgusted by their progress, though he left any time Vander saw him.
Eventually Silco grew tired of being covert. He had nothing to fear or be ashamed of. And besides, Powder indeed seemed like she could use his help.
He would find her in the evenings, sitting alone on the roof, watching the sunset. He brought her all different materials, anything to help her find the best way to express herself. She liked gears and wires, but also yarn and needles. They would sit together and talk for a bit until darkness came… And then Vander would come up to the roof and find them, and Silco would depart without a word, and that would be that.
Just like tonight.
“Powder? Time for dinner.”
Powder put today’s project — a doll she was knitting with pink hair — into her bag and stood up. She didn’t smile much yet, but she didn’t cry so much either these days — progress, Silco hoped. Except tonight she did smile a little as she turned to Vander. “Papa Vander, can Papa Silco stay?”
Silco froze up entirely — Papa Silco, that was new. He was about to swiftly disappear to process the title (and of course avoid a certain someone) when Vander replied, “Anytime he wants to.”
Powder turned to Silco with that little smile of hers. “Will you stay? Please? Mylo and Claggor really want to say hi. Benzo too, I think. And I miss when you go.”
“I do too,” came from Vander.
Silco felt warm and shaky all at once. He got standing, in a perfect position to run, but he couldn’t look at that smile and say anything except, “I’d be happy to stay for dinner, Powder.”
She beamed and gave him a hug then raced past Vander back inside. Silco followed after her. And though he was aware of Vander smiling at him out of the corner of his good eye, he refused to acknowledge him. What had happened between them had NOT happened — simple as that. Anomalies came and went, and moving on with the best strategy.
_______________________
Vander had to admit, the meal was a little awkward. Oh sure, the kids had fun — Mylo and Claggor had so many questions for Silco and so many things to show him, and Powder wouldn’t stop telling stories about her playtime together with ‘Papa Silco’. Benzo just watched with understandable caution, barely eating a bite, one hand always free and ready should any weapons or modes of defense need to be grabbed up. Silco rolled his eyes a Benzo a couple times but otherwise kept his gaze down and gave short but patient answers to the children and did not look at Vander at all.
Vander supposed that, externally he himself appeared as casual and easygoing as ever, but deep down he was working very hard not to think about tasting something other than the meat on his plate. He had genuinely thought those old feelings, that unrequited crush, had died long ago but…they’d only been pushed down. So now, seeing Silco show care and tenderness and even a hint of joy was bringing it all back. And Vander didn’t want to push a drop of it back down ever again.
He wanted to know what was next.
When dinner was done he signaled Benzo who smiled and asked the kids to clear the table and join him in the kitchen for clean up. They all said goodbyes to Silco and gave Vander hugs and raced after Benzo. Powder gave Silco a final little wave before disappearing.
Vander had to try very hard not to laugh as Silco abruptly stood up the moment they were alone. “Well, then, I’ll be leaving. I have business.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Pardon?” Silco whipped around, finally looking at Vander.
Vander smiled slightly and stood up. “You don’t have business. There hasn’t been a whisper of any activity related to you for weeks. Seems you’re on hiatus. Other pressing matters?”
“Shut up.” His eyes went down again.
“Even if you do have business — all the business in the world — I don’t want you to leave for it. I want you to stay.”
Vander could swear Silco was blushing. “I-I do not belong here, and you are completely out of line.”
“Because I miss you? And I care about you? And I’m grateful you’re back? Because I want you — here?” Vander held out his arms, some of the passion escaping into his voice.
Silco took a shaky breath. “Yes. It’s all ludicrous.”
“And yet here we are.” Vander moved closer. “We could try. We could do something better, Silco, do things right this time. Look, Piltover is already pulling back from the Undercity. They’re giving us space to grieve and grow. No more under-the-table deals, just an open understanding and exchange. It’s the first step in the right direction for Zaun. It’s the first step forward for Powder. It could be the first step back to something good for you and I.”
“I can’t!” Silco was trembling slightly. “We ruined that already, no going back.” His voice was a harsh whisper. “We’re barely succeeding at not killing each other. If we push, even a little, that tiny bit of good falls apart.”
“No. If we push, it grows.” Vander insisted, moving close. He sighed. “We don’t have to…be anything you don’t want to be. But we also don’t have to be alone anymore.” He swallowed. “We’re a little broken, but we’re not ruined. And we can find beauty again.” He blushed. “I always thought everything you did was beautiful.”
There was a heavy, quiet moment. Then Silco shoved Vander in the chest. Vander sighed — he could accept the anger and rejection and disbelief because at least he had tried.
Except suddenly Silco grabbed him by the collar, glaring at him. “You haven’t left my thoughts in years, you sentimental fool! If you want some beautiful mess, fine, try to find it with me, I dare you!” Then Silco was viciously clawing at him and kissing his mouth, mixing his legs with Vander’s.
All Vander could think at first was that the children shouldn’t see. He grabbed Silco close and backed them away down the hall to his room, shoved open the door with his hip then slammed it behind them so firmly that the bar fell over the middle, locking it tight. The room was dim except for a low fire, and empty except for a clothing trunk and a few pictures on a table and a wide bed that hadn’t seen company in ages.
Silco tore at Vander’s shirt while Vander at least tried to remove Silco’s shirt with some gentleness. Shoes were kicked off, belts flung away. Silco was angry but willing, and Vander needed to see where this all would go, even if it was just for one night.
Vander let out a gasp when Silco turned them around and shoved him flat onto the bed. “S-Silco…?”
Silco was glaring yet crying too. “If we do this, it’s on my terms. You don’t always get to be in charge, Vander.”
Vander’s breaths were shallow and quick. He looked up at Silco, their chests heaving, and finally nodded. “Fair enough.”
There was a ghost of a smile shared between them.
Silco climbed on top of Vander, and their remaining clothes became irrelevant. Heavy breaths and whispered names gave way to groans and hisses as the sparse room trembled with thrusts and twists and heavy hands grasping each other’s bodies.
All Vander could think was ‘I love you’ as Silco brought him to rough oblivion.
_______________________
Silco wasn’t sure if it counted as ‘staying the night’ when you had literally engaged in intercourse throughout the entire night and just happened to be too exhausted to do more right around sunrise.
He had expected to feel disgusted with himself honestly — overlooking all the pain and betrayal of their past for a moment of emotionally-charged lust. Except Silco wasn’t disgusted. Instead he felt…relieved. Like he’d been in need of this re-connection and yet terrified of it for so long, and now…he had tried, and it had turned out to be good and right.
Surely Vander would be sensible though. The lug would yawn and turn over, be amused that Silco was still here then send him on his way with thanks for the fun night. Yes, of course, then he could go back to hating Vander with a renewed vigor and everything would be fine.
Vander yawned and turned over. He glowed in the dawn light so delicately. His eyes met Silco’s. “I think I love you.” Silco flinched so severely he nearly toppled out of the bed. Vander had to catch him and help pull him back on. “Oh dear, too soon?” Vander asked sheepishly.
Silco fumed. “We knew each for years and you didn’t say ONE WORD about such feelings, and we hated each other for years and you DEFINITELY didn’t say one word, and we just spent a single night fornicating and NOW of all times you choose to—“
Vander kissed him on the mouth, gentle and sweet, lightly holding his face.
All of Silco’s anger melted to sweet peace. He closed his eyes and kissed back.
They separated after a moment. Silco’s eyes blinked open again. He felt warm. “I want to love you too…” left him. The truth. What was the point in hiding behind all the rage anymore? What was the worst that could happen if he just said it? Because he was pretty sure the alternative was to never be happy again. Vander’s smile glowed. “Then stay forever, and we’ll sort it out with each other. We’ll raise Powder — and the boys too. We’ll take care of Zaun. And I’ll cherish you.”
Vander’s hand slid carefully down to Silco’s heart, and Silco let out a swoon. “Abandon my studies, my schemes, my entire underground organization…” He nodded. “Fine. I’ll do it. Only with you. Cherishing you too. But if this is the end of me…”
“It’ll be our beginning…” Vander cooed.
Silco moaned and then they were holding each other and kissing as the sun came up. Silco smiled as he gave himself over to the trust of Vander’s hands and everything else and left himself fully open to all the possibilities.
_______________________
Years later…
Vander stood behind the bar, shaking a drink and smiling at Ekko. The boy had seemed a bit off today, but young people often got overwhelmed. He would be find. He had Powder helping him. “I have the feeling that you’ll be running this place soon.”
Like he’d been purposefully waiting in the wings for just the right line to enter with, Silco moved alongside him and placed a playful hand on his shoulder. “So there’s a chance for us yet?” Those beautiful eyes and that unforgettable grin made Vander smile as always.
Ekko blinked, sounding oddly surprised. “You?”
Silco looked to the lad and shrugged. “Didn’t think I’d miss your big day, did you?”
“Didn’t you try to kill him?”
The boy asked the question with such sincerity. Truly he must be having a strange day, remembering far too much of the past.
They had all healed so much though. Silco smiled and raised a glass Vander offered. “The greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive.” Their eyes met again, and they both got a little lost in each other.
Benzo huffed and rolled his eyes. Always teasing them, ever since they had gotten together. It had made for a wonderful best man speech at their wedding a few years ago, at least.
Ekko smiled, and then the music changed. Powder must be making her entrance. Sure enough, she appeared in beautiful dress with her bright smile. Ekko joined her on the dance floor, and they had their own space and time to get lost together.
Vander put an arm around Silco and held him close as they watched the kids. “Reminds me of us — at the wedding, remember?”
“Yes, except you have two left feet. We did much better when we gave up and just danced with the children,” Silco mused, leaning his head on Vander’s shoulder.
Vander chuckled. “You know…it really would be nice to retire soon. Just enjoy each other’s company.”
“Hmm…” Silco sipped, “you say that like we don’t already. Last night alone—”
“Silco, I mean in situations other than when you’ve got my ankles up by my shoulders.”
“And yet I don’t hear you complain on any of those nights.”
They snorted and shared a laugh.
Silco lifted his head to look up at Vander. “I was saving something as a surprise for our anniversary, but if you’re really so blue right now about our retirement….”
Vander smirked. “I’m utterly melancholy. Do share.”
Silco grinned and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Powder and I have been working on it for months. We built us a little airship, Vander. The perfect size for two — just you and I, traveling wherever the mood takes us, whenever we’d like. Whenever you want to start.”
Vander blinked a few times, smile growing. “Silco!” He picked him up and twirled him around as Silco laughed. Vander set him down. “But, I…I don’t want to thrust all of this on the kids just yet. But I don’t want to wait.”
“Why don’t we start with a few long vacations and gradually ease them into running this place, hmm? Keep pushing and growing, we’ll find what’s right.” Silco winked.
Vander wiped away a tear. “I’ve been working on an anniversary present for you too.” He reached under the bar and pulled out a rolled up paper. He unfurled it. There was a sketch of the sign above the bar but with a slight change. “You and me always call this place ‘Our Last Drop’ in private. About time we made that name change public, I think.”
Silco’s eyes brightened like the sky on a perfect day. He nodded and smiled so much.
Vander leaned in and kissed him, and Silco kissed back.
They separated after a moment, breathless.
“I love you,” they whispered together. They continued to hold each other in the shadows as the night went on.
_______________________
Later, when the party was over and the inventions all shown and Vander was finally in a contented sleep, Silco gazed out the window of their cozily furnished little room (full of pictures of loved ones and creations by Powder and mementos from their good times together) to look out at the lights of Zaun and Piltover. So much glimmering hope. He thought about all of their people safe in their homes, now with clean food and air and water now. He thought of Powder, tucked safely away, such a smart and happy young lady for her Papas. Then he turned and looked to Vander. Beside the man’s sleeping face was the hand bearing the tattoo of Vi’s name. Silco picked it up and gently kissed it. “A better world for you, our little Violet,” he whispered. “Thank you for bringing me back home.”
Silco laid down, holding hands with Vander, and fell into a soothing sleep.