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WHIZ radio intro tones
Billy Batson then starts speaking through a slightly crackly radio as Fawcett is a city someone lost to time, given its connection to the Rock of Eternity.
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Welcome to WHIZ Radio: where we give the latest news, truths, and views in Fawcett City. Brought to you by your host, me, Billy Batson.
Starting off with community news, make sure to visit the shrine of Atlas sometime this week with an offering. Cap mentioned that there might be a need for endurance next week, and we should all probably listen. Additional reminder, the festival of Zeus will be happening Saturday, the 13th. Stay away from odd-looking geese and metal poles, and don't fulfill any self-creating proficies in a fit of hubris.
Onto traffic!
Main Street and Fifth Avenue are both still under construction from Dr. Sivana’s attack and the demon portal last Thursday and Friday. Ms. Marvel and Cap. both played a role in clearing the debris, but there are still major cracks and fissures to Hades. Expect delays.
Now the weather.
Today's forecast includes thick overcast clouds; a good time for summoning souls. Be sure to greet both the living in the dead while going about your day and don't forget that umbrella! There is a slight chance of curses with intermittent showers.
Alright! Time to quickly cover the Capes and Crooks news bulletin. Dr. Sivana is still missing after his recent bout with Cap. Since he interrupted one of Mercury's races down at the track, no one is quite sure when the Roman god took him. If you happen to see him, please be sure to give Cap a ring to come pick him up.
Keep your eyes peeled for Mr. Mind. The worm escaped prison… again. Holy moly. You'd think they'd make better prisons for him. What is this, the fourth time in two weeks?
*Indistinct noise*
I know, I just figured that our listeners would likely have the same comment. I don't see why I shouldn't point it out if it’s true
*Indistinct noise again*
Alright! Fine. Moving on from that.
Today's radio broadcast is brought to you by Saturn's candy. Nothing so sweet as a stick of magic you can eat! Try their Caramel cookie candy bars, now with cooked-in bloodline curse protection. If you're looking for a spot of luck, try their cinnamon apple candy sticks. Saturn's candy. A proud sponsor of WHIZ Radio!
*Little jingle*
Welcome back to the program. Time for our Sister City’s segment.
This reporter has just been told by his producers to issue an apology to Black Adam for statements said during this segment of yesterday's broadcast.
*An aside*
Do I have to?
*Indistinct noise*
Fine.
I am. Sorry. For calling you a crazed-up old fart with too much free time.
There.
Moving on!
Kahndaq currently is continuing negotiations with both the Justice League and the UN to gain a seat at the UN table. Or be allowed in the UN room. While Fawcett recognizes Kahndaq as sovereign, the rest of the world still sees the country as illegitimate.
Aside from tense meetings, and Black Adam being a kook who keeps coming to mess with Cap due to having a grudge unbecoming of a literal king and ancient man-child, Kahndaq is doing fine. The economy is flourishing, despite limited imports and exports due to sanctions. The letters sent by Fawcett's finest and kindest citizens were well received and we should hear back soon if Mercury has anything to do with it.
It's time once again for Billy's opinion of the day.
This week!
Cans and their many used.
Not only do cans offer one of the best ways to have long-term storable food, but they also make awesome weapons! We got to see this on Friday when Marvel Jr. and Captain Marvel went toe to toe with demons using a barrage of cans. And the food was still good to eat after the fight!! I love it when things are multi-purposed. Now if only they could close the rifts down to Hades…
*Mercury’s intro chimes*
Oh! Mercury just dropped a fresh bit of mail! Thank you, Mercury! Watch out for old men wandering around. It seems like the Greek and Roman gods are looking to bless and curse some folks today.
Do good, and good will follow.
And keep an eye on the sky for lightning!
This has been Billy Batson, signing off!