Work Text:
NIALL
I'm worried about him.
Dev is too, in his own way. He just doesn't admit it; he distracts himself by doing Dev things so he doesn't have to think about it.
He's thinner than I remember. Paler, too. He never looked exactly like he did when he was younger, in the portraits. I've seen them. There used to be a warmth to his coloring.
He doesn't eat and he bites his nails raw and he flinches when touched.
We don't talk about these things. We never have. I know it's not my business either, to pry into his private affairs. But sometimes he leaves me no choice.
It's the start-of-year picnic and Baz is sitting in the sun, angled so he can see Simon. I watch him examine a nearby tree and shake his head, and I try not to draw the inevitable conclusion that it's because he wouldn't be able to see Snow from that vantage.
I've never been snoopy. I keep out of even Dev's business most times. Grimms and Pitches are stoic. But I can't help it; I see in my mind all the evidence joining into one conclusion.
Baz watches Snow from a distance with open longing. His eyes are lowered just so, and his mouth is slightly open, and he's completely in another world. Just smiling faintly and fondly, eyes tracing back and forth like he can see Snow's freckles from such a distance.
I'm being ridiculous. I try to ignore him, the little sighs and the slow downturn of his lips as Snow shouts at the top of his lungs—his version of a whisper—that Baz is evil, a bloodsucking monster, and out to get him. Always. Every second of every day, all Baz does is plot Snow's doom.
I scoff. Hasn't he seen enough of Baz's life by now? He has bigger things to worry about. Things like coming out to his family and making sure his grades are good so he doesn't disappoint them and coping with the trauma of his mother's death. Most of the time he doesn't do much more than study, eat crisps, and gaze at Simon like he's doing now.
How does the dolt not notice? How does he still think Baz is some kind of soulless conspirator with the devil?
Dev is off trying to woo Agatha, which I'm sure is going well. Both of my friends being incapacitated by pining leaves me by myself. I pensively eat a roll and wait for the chance to go back inside. It's such a hot, bright day.
After an acceptable amount of time—maybe an hour or two—I gather my things and start to leave, throwing a cursory glance at Baz and—
Oh.
He seems to be coming out of a trance. The Simon-induced Coma, if you will. He shivers and blinks his eyes and I can't help but think he looks even more emaciated than before. As he puts a hand to his forehead, I swear I see half his eyebrow disintegrate into ash. I rub my eyes, convinced I'm just seeing things until he goes to stand, pitches onto his hands and knees, and slumps sideways.
I'm running before he's even finished falling. I'm not fast enough. Simon's already over him like a vulture, waving his arms triumphantly.
"See! The sun is affecting him. He's a vam—"
"Leave him alone." I rarely use my business voice, but it seems to do the trick. Simon glares at me and stalks off.
I bend down and gather Baz up. He's like a bundle of loose twigs, if twigs could tremble. I'm not even sure he's fully conscious.
"Simon?" he whispers.
"Ah, no, darlin'. Sorry to disappoint."
"Niall." It's more a sigh than a word. He buries his face in my shoulder and his skin is feverish but his teeth are chattering.
I steer him on the least visible route, pausing to consider whether I should flag Dev. I decide I don't have time.
"Hold on, Baz," I say gently, taking care not to let my voice shake. "Just don't go to sleep. Stay with me a little while longer."
He whimpers. "It hurts."
It breaks my heart. Seeing him like this. He's never like this.
"I know, I'm so sorry. I know. We'll go to the infirmary."
"No!" He clutches at my sleeve. "No, I can't go there. I'm fine."
My heart sinks. "Little quieter, mate." I was already getting quizzical looks. "We'll go up to my room."
"Okay… I'm sorry."
"Nah, none of that. Just maybe don't have a sleep in sunlight again. I don't think my nerves can take it."
"Yeah…" His eyelids are drooping. "S'cold…"
"Is it? You nearly burned."
"It's burning cold. Cold burning."
Sweet Crowley. I pause on the stairs. Why is the world so intent on hurting him? Why can't I keep him safe?
I climb carefully up the spiral staircase, adjust his weight, and push open the door.
Dev gapes up at me from the other bed. "What's wrong with him?"
"Just a little fever. Nothing to worry about." I'm shivering all the same, adrenaline rushing through my limbs.
"Is he gonna be alright?" Dev looks alarmed, and it's not at all helping my stress.
I place Baz carefully on my bed but he doesn't let go of me, hands fisting with surprising strength in the material of my uniform. "Niall!"
"Mm, I'm here, love."
"Don't leave."
"Never."
Dev's still gawking at us.
I glare at him.
I'm suspended awkwardly by Baz's grip, neither of us quite touching the bed. "Here, Baz, just…"
I gently roll him to the left a little so I can lay down beside him. He groans in pain. "Sorry, sorry," I murmur.
He snuggles his face in my neck, whispering something about coconut and vanilla. I would give him whatever he needs. I'd beat the sense into Simon and show him just how wonderful Baz is, just how much he deserves Simon's attention. But Simon isn't here, and all I can do is try to fill in the cracks he's left in my best friend.
I fold him in my arms. He curls his knees up and sighs.
"All right?" I ventures.
He nods as I rub circles into his back. "So hungry," he says. He sounds almost guilty.
"I'll get you food. Or do you want… something else?"
He pushes away from me, gaze hardening. That's the Baz I know, giving me that look Dev never has been able to pull off. Like I'm exceedingly daft. All it does is make me smile.
"What else would I eat?"
"Right, nothing." I wink at him, which he sadly doesn't find amusing. "Now or later?"
After some hesitation, he curls back against me. "Later. If… if that's okay..?"
I look down at him, this boy who's never been held like he deserves. I smile.
"It's wonderful."
We fall asleep like that, me shielding him from whatever might come for him. Dev looks down at us and smiles; looking up at his eyes twinges a little.
I'm not sure why. That'll have to be a later dissection. But for now, Baz needs me.