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The thing about death they don’t prepare you for is the immediate silence that comes afterwards.
It catches Jayce off guard. The sudden expanse of nothing. From the beauty and chaos of the arcane to what he can only describe as an emptiness, devoid of everything except his own fleeting existence and racing thoughts. Though it’s hard to say if he really exists in the moment—or if he even existed at all.
What Jayce does experience is a flurry of emotion wash over him for what he leaves behind. There’s a devastating amount of reflection involved when you’re no longer in the picture. He mourns his home, his mother, the countless others whose fates he’ll never know. Feels an ache thinking about Mel and their short-lived reconciliation. Tries not to worry too much about Caitlyn and her newfound responsibilities.
But when he thinks of Viktor, he feels at peace.
Despite everything, at the forefront of his mind are those late nights at the Academy, the rush of research beside his partner. In the end, it was never about Hextech. It only took the near destruction of the world and his own cosmic mortality to realize that it was always going to be Viktor.
“Jayce?”
The sound of his partner’s voice shocks Jayce out of limbo, back into awareness of his corporeal form. There’s no pain, but he’s no longer floating aimlessly into the void. He’s acutely aware of his leg brace and carefully stretches out his limbs as his muscle memory gradually returns. It’s comforting that the arcane hadn’t taken away the parts of him worth keeping.
His other senses quickly come rushing back.
When the world comes back into focus, all Jayce can see is his partner.
Viktor looks the same as he did all those years ago, seemingly untouched by the arcane and time. The only indication that any of the last few months had occurred was Jayce’s blanket draped over his shoulders.
Jayce takes a step forward, reaching towards Viktor. “How?”
Viktor shrugs. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“I thought we…” One hand settles on Viktor’s shoulder, the other hovering above his waist. Jayce feels overwhelmed by all the sensations he’s feeling again for the first time. “I thought we were both dead. The rune…”
“And yet…” Viktor gingerly places his hand on Jayce’s wrist, a contemplative look on his face. “We are both still here.”
Jayce’s memory flashes back to their last moments. The sacrifice they made together. He gives Viktor’s shoulder a slight squeeze, grabbing onto his makeshift blanket robe. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Jayce.” Viktor smiles, leaning into it. “We’re safe.”
He can’t help but stare at this Viktor—scanning his eyes, his face. Taking it all in again. “I missed you,” Jayce whispers as he presses their foreheads together. In this moment, he forgets all about all the horrible things they did to each other in the pursuit of good. Jayce takes a deep breath before reluctantly separating from his partner. “What exactly is this place?”
Viktor looks off towards the horizon. “That’s what I was trying to figure out myself.”
The surrounding landscape is foreign to him, a rich sea of green with sprinkles of white and yellow in between. He hasn’t seen flora and fauna like this since he was a child, saved by Viktor all those years ago. There’s a city in the distance, but the familiar Piltover skyline is nowhere to be found. Jayce carefully sits down on the grass below, bringing his knees up to his chest. Carefully blinks away the tears he can feel surfacing.
He wonders how his mother is handling his loss.
Jayce instinctively extends his arm out as Viktor carefully lowers himself beside Jayce, settling down into his side. Jayce still isn’t sure if they’re even considered alive anymore, but the warmth coming from his partner is convincing enough.
“What was it like when you died that first time?” Jayce blurts out.
Viktor tenses. “It was very… sudden.” He replaces the cane in his grip with Jayce’s wrist, gently tracing runes onto the bare skin. “I was terrified of dying before the Council attack, when we had so much left to accomplish. All I remember is the silence.” Viktor’s fingers pause. “My worries, concerns, it all just. Disappeared. In a single, brief moment, none of it mattered anymore. I wasn’t exactly happy to leave it all behind…” Jayce shivers as his fingers continue moving. “But it did put some things into perspective.”
Jayce watches as Viktor’s brows furrow, the emotions running through his eyes. He remembers when those same eyes were closed shut, the dead weight of Viktor’s body. The desperation in throwing away his promise to the man he loves.
“When you brought me back, a part of me was so angry, even with the Hexcore dampening it all. Those weapon blueprints scattered everywhere....” Viktor turns to face the sky. “Death can never be a solution—but I know now it is not something to be feared. I was so caught up in trying to avoid it, that I had never considered how it connects us to our humanity. To life itself.”
“Two sides of the same coin.”
“Precisely.”
They both fall quiet. There’s a part of Jayce that will always regret all the lost opportunities of their youth. All that time wasted on politics and petty disputes. The things they did to get here. It’s still hard to believe that Viktor is even really next to him right now, as he interlaces their fingers together.
“Do you believe in second chances, Viktor?”
“Is that what you think this is?”
“I was so intent on keeping you alive—I guess I never really considered the possibilities of what comes after.”
“Perhaps it is different in every timeline,” Viktor quips, squeezing Jayce’s hand. “I’m sure in this life there will be plenty of opportunities for research.”
If this is what dying is like, maybe it’s not so bad, Jayce thinks.