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There was something calming about late nights, the dull ticking of the clock, the rustling of the wind, the simple ease of grading the papers that Shouta had long put off. Late nights were great times to unwind from the stress of teaching, hero work, and patrols. It was nice. Obviously his relaxation wasn’t without flaws, even the brooding erasure hero tended to get lonely. It wasn’t too often but definitely a noticeable ache, one the man couldn’t quite shove away. But that was fine. Shouta was fully content with the life he’d been living otherwise.
—
After a while of grading, Shouta found himself slightly restless. It wasn’t a big deal, but the hero wouldn’t mind some simple white noise, something to keep his mind grounded as he worked, completely rational in his book.
Shouta glanced up at the clock hanging up on his wall, “11:20 p.m.” the erasure hero sighed, his mind immediately remembering that Hizas- Present Mics radio show was still airing. His show would go on 5 days a week, Monday through Thursday, starting up again on that Sunday. The show usually started at 7:20pm on the dot and would normally end around 11:30 p.m. depending on when Mics producers decided he had conversed with his ‘listeners’ enough (he always seemed to talk overtime).
But tonight it was different, ‘Put Your Hands Up Radio!’ was doing an extra few hours of songs and commentary. It was likely to gain more traction as Mics show was high and rising as it always did around the fall. It was a logical decision to run for longer. Not like Shouta had any complaints (Mic likely didn’t either; he’s always been fond of his radio show. It always somehow came up in the teachers lounge when Shouta was trying to finish up some scheduling (or nap) )
Without a word, Shouta got up from his place on the couch, his muscles straining slightly in the process, (sitting there for longer than he was willing to admit out loud) the erasure hero then simply knelt down to the tiny radio he had kept on his coffee table and turned to the channel Mics radio show was always on, 7.7 .
After about a second of letting the radio tune, Shouta caught the final few seconds of some random pop rock song the erasure hero couldn’t bother to remember the name of. (definitely something Mic picked though) As soon as the song ended the radio cut over to a familiar voice, Hiza- Mics. His voice carried its usual enthusiasm like it often did. “Gooooddd evening listeners!! Hopefully everybody enjoyed that last rocken tune! It’s one of my personal faves!!” (He knew it)
Mic paused, likely for dramatic effect and Shouta couldn’t help but softly smile to himself, he was glad Mic was getting the recognition he had so badly wanted back in high school, if anyone deserved this fame, it was him.
“As some of my more dedicated listeners will know, tonight's show will last much longer than usual!! Some may be asking, “But Present Mic, why??” “
Shouta hummed in silent amusement as Mic attempted to mimic the voice of a high pitched fan girl.
“And to that, I can’t help but feel hurt! Who wouldn’t want to listen to my soothing voice for longer?”
Mic faked offense as he spoke, clearly sarcastic as he continued rambling along, a clear smile in his voice.
“Nah, just kidding listeners! I could never be offended, that’s simply not the Present Mic way!”
The DJ hero paused once more,
“Anyways, enough of the reminders, let’s get back to playing some killer nighttime tunes!! You ready, mic-ies? Ready to get mondo hyped?!”
And with that, Mics voice stopped, cutting to another song Shouta couldn’t be bothered with learning the name of. He knew the song though, of course he did, how could he ever forget? Hiz- Mic (Yamada?) would always sing this song back then, back in highschool, on that rooftop. He’d always be humming it, tapping his fingers like a drum set to the beat of the music. As much as Shouta claimed that he had hated it, he never truly did. Sure, it wasn’t his genre of music, nowhere close to it in fact. But something about that specific song was…nice. It was only nice and nothing more.
After a minute of remaining crouched by the side of his coffee table, Shouta slowly got back up, returning to his place on the couch, a red pen and a stack of ungraded papers in hand. Letting out a sigh, the erasure hero returned to grading, his red pen scribbling furiously on some of the students' papers and less so on others.
Shouta quickly got back into his simple routine, Yamadas voice occasionally accompanying him from the radio, causing that dull ache to subside if only for a little... It was nice.
Shoutas' grading routine continued until he heard Yamadas voice for the final time that night, signaling the end of his late night broadcast. When the erasure hero finally glanced up from his practically finished work, he strained his now dry eyes to look at the clock once more, “2:00 a.m.”
Geez, the show had gone way later than Shouta had expected, way later than usual anyway… But this was Yamada, the man always had to go above and beyond, much to Shoutas protests, it didn’t matter what he was doing, he’d always be at 100%.
—
After a moment of simply sitting, Shouta let out a sigh as he stood up once more, his back aching in protest as he did so. Ignoring it, the erasure hero walked to his coffee table, turning off his tiny radio before heading down the hall to his room.
As Shouta climbed into his bed he couldn’t help but miss Yamadas ramblings. Yes, he found it annoying in some regard, the erasure hero couldn’t help but miss the background noise.
The sound of Yamadas voice.
The DJ hero could always remain upbeat, was never seen without his signature smile, always had something to talk about with such enthusiasm, it was a constant in Shoutas life. A constant for 15 odd years. Sure, Yamadas enthusiasm dropped slightly back in highschool but who was Shouta to blame the man? That was when…it, happened… when Oboro, the two soon to be heroes best friend, suddenly passed. it was a brutal but heroic death and Shouta knew that. He really, truly did, but after everything went down, the erasure hero grew distant.
Shouta spent the final years of his UA career pushing past his physical limits, prioritizing strength and rationality over his remaining friendships. Despite this Yamada was a constant shadow, the spark in his eyes had dulled some but his constant energy and enthusiasm never did.
Shouta knew it was to keep some normalcy, he appreciated that, he truly did. It was one of the many things he loved about Yamada.
But everything was still too new, too fresh in Shoutas mind. As much as he liked Yamadas checkups and spontaneous gifts of lunch and such, after their graduation, Shouta eventually stopped responding. It’s not like he truly meant to but it all felt like far too much.
Obviously the erasure hero would text for holidays and Yamadas birthday but that was about as far as their contact was outside of hero work. Yamada would try at least once a month to reconnect but eventually (after a few years) got the hint that Shouta wasn’t going to respond. And this hurt him. It hurt Shouta to shut Yamada out because he loved the man, he always had. He always would.
Shouta knew it was far too late to confess anything, Yamada was way out of the erasure heroes league. While that painful realization did hurt, it was nothing Shouta couldn’t push past. After all, it wasn’t rational for pro heroes to be in a relationship, let alone two male pro heroes. Shouta simply shuddered at the publicity it would attract, shoving that idea back down into the back of his brain. He knew it would simply never happen…
Simply working together with Yamada was better than nothing in Shouta’s eyes… Thanks to Nemuri, the erasure hero had been convinced to become a teacher at UA. She had always claimed that he was good with kids but frankly, Shouta couldn’t quite see it. Nonetheless, he had taken her up on the offer, needing something more than patrol to keep him busy (The fact that Yamada had started the exact same year as Shouta was a welcome but awkward surprise and the man knew who to blame for it.)
The two had greeted each other simply on their first days and that was it. Occasionally, Shouta would steal a glance at Yamada and that’s all that ever truly happened. (little did Shouta know, Hizashi was doing the exact same thing)
—
The sudden noise of his alarm made Shouta want to throw it at the wall. It was 5:30 on the dot but the man had never been a morning person, waking up so early was torture, especially after going to bed at the ungodly hour that he did. It was nothing the erasure hero wasn’t used to but it never did stop being a hassle.
Nonetheless, Shouta got out of bed, getting into his simple morning routine. Brew coffee, change clothes, drink coffee, brush teeth, grab schedule and papers for grading, grab sleeping bag, go to school.
—
When Shouta finally made his way to UA the halls were empty as they always were, school didn’t start for another 45 minutes or so, giving him the perfect time to review the material for the day and maybe sneak in a quick nap.
Despite the halls of UA being empty, that didn’t mean the faculty lounge would be. Normally when Shouta arrived he’d be greeted with Yamada sitting at his desk, mulling over some essays with a carefree smile on his face and fancy coffee in hand. Today was no different, as Shouta walked in there Yamada was humming some random song from his radio show, tapping his pen as he finished grading.
Shouta couldn’t help the way his lips quirked up to form a tiny smile but he quickly brushed it away as he walked closer to his desk and Yamadas. Their desks were placed next to one another and Shouta could never quite tell if he was happy about this. Nonetheless he sat down with a quiet sigh, nodding a civil greeting to Yamada.
Yamada was slightly slower to react to the greeting than normal but quickly responded with his usual vigor, “Hey Eraser! How goes it man?”
The erasure hero replied bluntly before grabbing some papers from his desk. “It’s fine, I'm just going to look over my scheduling for the day.”
The DJ hero nodded in response, “Keepin it rational I see? I dig it!”
Shouta rolled his eyes, stealing a small glance at Yamada. The man seemed slightly off today, his responses were delayed if only slightly, his eyes seemed a little less focused than usual, and his normally impeccable posture was sagging. In the eyes of passersby, nothing with the DJ hero seemed amiss but Shouta could tell that something was up. Maybe a lack of sleep? Could be likely, the man’s radio show did go on pretty late at night. Yamada also tended to get to UA far earlier than anyone else simply to grade or be there if students needed any help. While this was admirable, Shouta couldn’t help but feel slightly worried.
“Thought you’d be taking it easy after your late-night radio show?” Shouta began to talk without really thinking, why had he said that? He should’ve just left them in silence.
Giving up, Shouta decided to continue his thought. It’d be rude to simply stop speaking after this.
“I noticed it went on a lot longer than usual.”
Yamada looked over at Shouta, his eyes slightly wide, had Shouta… listened to his radio show? The man couldn’t help but smile.
Yamada shrugged, grinning, “Eh, the producers thought I should change things up, I was totally on board with it though! Early bird gets the worm, right?” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head.
Shouta nodded in recognition, “How’d it go then?”
“Oh yeah man it was great! The producers got a few new songs added to the mix, even got a bunch more callers!!”
Yamadas voice was tinged with an edge of excitement as he spoke. He couldn’t help it really, this was one of the first times in years that Shouta continued an actual conversation with him aside from his usual greetings.
“The traction I got from just one night was totally surreal!”
Shouta couldn’t help but hide the forming smile on his face, it had been a while since he’d seen Yamada so happy, let alone have it be directed at the erasure hero.
“Well that’s good, it’s pretty logical to host longer shows around fall, it’s often when your ratings start to spike up. I’m glad it worked in your favor, Mic.”
Staring back at Shouta, Yamada couldn’t help the excited gleam in his eyes. This was progress, great progress! Not only was Shouta talking with him, he seemed interested, he actually listened to the DJ heroes radio show, and it sounds like he’s been listening for a while!! Maybe this could mean something for the two of them, who knows!
“Aww i’m glad even the brooding Eraserhead enjoys my show, it is ‘E’ for everyone!” Yamada let out a laugh, his tone slightly teasing.
“Don’t get too cocky there Mic, I simply listened for some background noise while grading, that’s all.” Shouta replied, his voice as monotone as ever but there was none of the usual bite to his tone.
“Whatever you say Sho- Eraser!” Yamadas voice was playful, sarcasm heavy in his tone.
Shouta grunted in annoyance, staring back down at his papers trying to pretend he didn’t hear Yamada correct himself. His ever rational brain knew the reason the DJ hero did so, it was out of a simple respect. The two hadn’t truly talked in years and plus, Shouta himself did the same, it only made sense. Though it only served to make that dull ache more noticeable.
“Sooo,” Yamada said, filling the silence as he drummed his fingers on his coffee cup. “How’s the grading going? This new scheduling is something, huh?”
Shouta gave a small nod. “It’s… fine. The students are adjusting.”
Yamada grinned, rubbing his eyes. “Glad someone is. I think half my kids are still reeling from that listening test I gave them. Might’ve overestimated their comprehension skills.”
Shouta raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like you gave them a challenge.”
“Challenge is my middle name,” Yamada replied, his usual enthusiasm dimming just a bit. “I mean, I’ll probably have to explain everything all over again today, but hey, they’ll get it eventually!” He laughed and glanced down into his coffee, swirling it absently.
The two sat in a more comfortable quiet, the only noise now was Yamada tapping on his desk in some random tune (the DJ hero had never been one for pure silence).
Yamada then looked up at the clock, noting that the day's classes were going to start soon, “Welp, I gotta get going man, classes are bout to begin!”
Yamada paused, smiling at Shouta, “Thanks again for this Eraser, meant a lot to talk with you!”
Shouta gave a somber nod, letting out a rare but small smile, watching as Yamada left the lounge. The erasure hero then stood from his desk, grabbing the array of papers that he needed and headed out, the ache a little less noticeable.
—
The next few days went about the same, Shouta would wake up, brew coffee, change clothes, drink coffee, brush teeth, grab schedule and papers for grading, grab sleeping bag, go to school. (Occasionally grading late at night with Mics radio show playing in the background)
But now there was an extra step, talk with Yamada. After their first real conversation a few days back, the two heroes started talking more and more. It was always simple things that normally related to hero work, classes, or Mics radio show, but it was something. Something that left the two in a more comfortable silence.
Shouta was happy with this new step to his routine, but he couldn’t help the guilt that rose every time he spoke to Yamada. The ache that grew in his chest remembering their previous years of no contact, all of which was his own fault. Shouta simply stared down, listening to Yamada's light humming, the man acting as if everything was simply perfect.
Yamada's carefree actions only served to make Shouta tense, there was so much he had to apologize to Yamada for, and so many irrational things he did.
That’s when Shouta decided he had to at least apologize, Yamada had done so much for him and all Shouta did was push him away, acting as if nothing ever happened between them. Shouta shifted slightly, body now turned to the DJ hero, clearing his throat, “Hey, Yamada?” Shouta's voice was almost hesitant, testing the words before he truly spoke.
Yamada looked up from his desk over to Shouta, a questioning look on his face, “What’s up Eraser?”
Shouta let out a sigh before speaking again, “I just wanted to apologize for my actions these past few years, all I've ever done after high school was push you away and you never deserved that. It was… completely irrational.”
Yamada just stared back, his eyes wide. While what Shouta did hurt, the DJ hero had forgiven him long ago. He knew that Shouta needed space after what happened, he just never expected such a random apology after so many years.
“Woah woah Eraser! Bro it’s okay! While the apology is appreciated, you don’t have to apologize for that!! Holding grudges is not the Present Mic way ya know?” Yamada laughed slightly, his eyes brighter.
Shouta shook his head, looking down slightly, “I think I do. You were always there for me, even when I wasn't. When I pushed you—and everyone else—away, you still tried. And I didn’t make it easy. I thought that keeping people at a distance was simply… more rational.”
Yamada nodded, his expression unreadable, but there was no anger there. Just a gentle empathy. “Yeah, I noticed. And I won’t lie—it did hurt back then. I didn’t understand why you were pulling back, especially when we finally started teaching together. I thought maybe you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
Shouta’s gaze softened, and he swallowed, feeling the regret of those years weighing on him. “It was never that. I just… thought I didn’t need anyone. That I was better off alone to deal with what happened.” He let out a long breath. “But I was wrong. And I know I missed a lot because of it.”
Yamada's soft expression broke into a gentle smile, and he reached out, resting a hand on Shouta’s shoulder. “Hey! We all handle things in our own way. But you’re here now, and we found our way back, didn’t we? It’s like old times man!”
Shouta looked up, meeting Yamada’s eyes. “Thanks, Yamada,” he said, his voice slightly softer. “I just wanted you to know I never meant to leave you behind.”
Yamada’s smile warmed, that old spark of brightness returning. “Eraser, I knew that, even back then. Besides, I forgave you a long time ago. I always figured you’d come around when you were ready.”
Shouta's expression remained neutral but Yamada could see the visual relief only present in the man’s eyes.
“You forgive too easy Mic, that could come back to bite you in the ass you know,” As the erasure hero spoke, he couldn’t help but smile, if only slightly.
Yamada let out a thoughtful hum, “Maybe, but I can’t help it ya know?”
“I guess so, Thanks Mic, really.”
Yamada couldn’t help but laugh slightly, “Course man! ‘S what i’m here for!!”
Before much more could happen, Yamada let out a small, contented sigh, stretching his arms over his head as he glanced at the clock. The morning was starting to slip by, and the hum of the building hinted that more teachers would be arriving soon.
“Well,” Yamada said, standing up and gathering his papers, “I should get my stuff ready for first period. Can’t leave my loyal listeners waiting!”
Shouta nodded, a hint of a smile lingering on his face. “Wouldn’t want that.”
Yamada adjusted his glasses, glancing down at Shouta with a soft, thoughtful expression. “And, hey…” He hesitated, then let his usual grin return, though this time, it was warm in a way that held years of understanding. “Thanks, Shouta. For, you know, what you said earlier.”
“It was long overdue.” Shouta said, very matter of factly.
With that, he turned and headed toward the door, pausing just before he stepped out. Yamada did that stupid finger gun salute Shouta always pretended to hate, like he always used to back in their school days. “Catch you later, man!”
Shouta simply nodded with acknowledgement, “Bye Yamada.”
He had missed this.
—
A few days had passed since Shouta had apologized and everything was truly going great. The two started to grow closer again, talking casually everyday before the school day began. Shouta, despite his reserves, started to even text Yamada again. (even if they were just random cat memes, it was a start)
However, the more the two heroes talked, the more Shouta couldn’t help but notice that something was off with Yamada. There were small things that, to a bystander, wouldn’t be recognized. But to Shouta? They were clear as day, leaving small cracks in Yamada's normally perfect ‘Present Mic’ persona. They started small, of course, stifled yawns, slower reactions, a steady decline in the man’s normally impeccable posture, and eye bags that despite being hidden by the DJ heroes glasses, rivaled Shoutas. Something was wrong.
It didn’t take a genius to start to note that ‘Put Your Hands Up Radio!’ started to run for longer stretches of time, far beyond the special that it had hosted days prior, more often than not running till almost 4 a.m. Rationally, it did make sense for the show's ratings, but add Yamada's classes and hero work? Anyone would start to run on empty, even the ever boisterous Present Mic. Shouta couldn’t help but feel sympathy.
Thankfully, it was Friday morning, meaning that the DJ hero didn’t have another broadcast scheduled till Sunday, something Shouta could use to help Yamada in some way. But what could he really do? What was the most logical way to help his best friend? No, Shouta would think of that later. Right now he simply had to act normal.
Walking to their desks, Shouta spoke, his voice gruff as ever, “Noticed your show went late again Yamada, that’s the 5th time just this week. And it’s friday.”
Yamada looked up from his papers, slightly startled with eyes dulled but smiling continuously wide, “Oh, hey Shou! You know me, can’t keep my loyal listeners waiting! That’s simply not the Present Mic way! Plus, they’re loving these broadcasts, man!!” As Yamada spoke, his voice was quiet, lacking its usual vigor. All of these late nights were catching up to him. Shouta hated it.
Nodding thoughtfully, the erasure hero spoke once more, his tone holding none of its usual bite, “I get dedication but 5 days of constant late nights? That’s irrational stupidity, you should know that.”
Yamada simply smiled, the action seeming to try and convince himself, not Shouta, “Typical Eraser, always trying to rationalize everything!”
The DJ hero waved his hand dismissively before continuing, “Don’t go worrying about little old me now, someone could get the wrong idea Shou, you dirty dog!”
Shouta sat down at his desk, a slight scowl on his face, rolling his eyes at Yamadas obnoxious comments. “It's your early grave I suppose..” The erasure hero then sighed, putting a hand to his stubbled face and pushing his unruly hair from his eyes. It was going to be a long day.
Shouta knew Yamada had multiple jobs. He knew that balancing teaching, hero work, and his radio show schedule was already a delicate dance. But Yamada had never looked quite this exhausted before, and the thought gnawed at Shouta’s mind all day.
—
As the final bell of the day rang, the erasure hero couldn’t help but feel relief. He had noticed Yamada. It wasn’t just the dark circles growing beneath Yamada’s eyes or the slightly slumped posture he tried to hide under his usual exuberant front. It was the way his energy would dip in quiet moments, his usually loud voice softening when he thought no one was around to hear.
The DJ hero was stubborn, but not like Shouta.
He spotted Yamada sitting alone in the teachers' lounge, a stack of untouched papers in front of him, head propped up on his hand, eyes distant. He looked completely worn out.
Shouta cleared his throat, catching Yamada’s attention. “You look dead on your feet, Yamada.”
Yamada blinked, perking up as Shouta approached, but the smile that spread across his face was thin and tired, more reflex than genuine. “Nah, I’m good! Just catching my breath, you know how it is!”
Shouta raised an eyebrow, a look of quiet disapproval etched into his features, “You’ve been ‘catching your breath’ all week.”
Yamada’s smile faltered for a moment but he quickly looked away, his hand on the back of his head, “Can’t get anything past you can I?” The DJ hero laughed, “Don’t worry about me Shou! I’m plenty rested, just wanna get a good start on these papers!!”
The erasure hero gave a sarcastic nod, already feeling annoyed. He had to do something about… this. Everything about Yamada simply screamed exhaustion, and Shouta knew he wouldn’t rest, not on his own at least. The man was far too stubborn for that. With a sigh, the black haired hero spoke once more, “How about we grade at my place?” Shouta’s words were hushed, not quite a whisper, but not spoken in full confidence.
Yamada lowered his hand at that, his smile now looking confused, “What’d you say? Gotta speak up man!”
The erasure hero scowled slightly, meeting Yamada’s gaze, “You’re coming over to my place tonight. We can grade, it’ll be a logical change of pace.”
The look of surprise on Yamada’s face would’ve been an amusing sight if Shouta wasn’t so… worried. “Wait, you want me to come over?” Yamada blinked, “You, Shouta Aizawa...are inviting me, Hizashi Yamada, over to grade papers?”
“Yes. And you’re not going to argue,” Shouta replied flatly.
Yamada looked caught off guard, his usual confidence faltering. "Are… are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother, Shou!"
Shouta’s eyes softened, and he gave the smallest shake of his head. "If you were a bother, I wouldn’t be asking now would I? Just come over, I can tell just by looking at you that you’re exhausted."
The DJ hero simply stared at him, hesitating slightly. But, he hadn’t actually seen Shouta’s apartment in years, it would be nice if the two of them hung out… even if it was just for grading… “Wouldn’t say i’m exhausted but you do drive a hard bargain there Shouta! I guess, I've got no choice but to say yeah, huh?”
Yamada gave a wink and smiled hard, a real one this time. Sure it lacked its usual exuberance but it was real nonetheless, the erasure hero couldn’t help but smile himself.
The ache was lessened now.
“Let’s go, it’s not too far of a walk.” Shouta made his way to his own desk, grabbing a messy stack of papers from its surface and nodded for the DJ hero to follow suit.
Yamada nodded, a grateful smile playing on his lips. He then quickly rummaged around the top of his desk, grabbing any ungraded papers and shuffling them into a stack.
Shouta stood there and waited, his arms full and folded sighing as we watched the somewhat uncoordinated movements the other made. Yamada stood, making his way over to the door, both men with papers in hand.
—
The streets of Musutafu were unusually quiet, the muted sounds of the city humming like a lullaby in the crisp evening air. Shouta glanced to his side at Yamada, who strode beside him with his usual energetic gait. Or at least, he was trying to make it seem like it. Yamada’s usually exaggerated movements were restrained, his pace slightly slower, and his ever-present grin lacked its usual spark. His steps lacked their usual bounce, he seemed just a tempo behind normalcy, unable to catch up to what his brain wanted to do.
Shouta’s sharp eyes didn't miss much, and now was no exception.
Letting out a sigh, Shouta broke their silence, “Yamada, you okay? I’ve been noticing that you’ve been off for days.” The erasure hero's voice was flat but not unkind.
“What? Course I am Shou! Just stoked to be grading with my best bud!” Yamada’s voice was just a little too loud, too forced.
Shouta chose not to comment, arching a brow and simply sighing in slight annoyance.
After another minute or so of walking, the two had reached the apartment, Yamada following the erasure hero up the stairs. The door unlocks, letting out an inviting creak as they walk inside. Almost instantly, Yamada began looking around, following every shadow, object, and wall with his eyes, taking everything in seeming almost excited, giddy. Shouta couldn’t help but laugh slightly, hiding his face within his scarf. “You go sit down, I'll put on some tea.” Shouta spoke with a firm voice, nodding to the couch.
Yamada gave a nod, walking slowly to the couch and setting his papers on the table, an audible sigh escaping his lips as he sat.
The man sat, unsure of what to do with himself, was simply waiting for Shouta to return. He played with the hem of his shirt, touching every thread with burning eyes and tired hands. Shouta’s couch was surprisingly comfortable, his apartment warm and nice, the lighting dark. Yamada felt like he was walking through warm water, the bags of his eyes growing heavier, more noticeable.
No.
He couldn’t, he couldn’t fall asleep yet. There was still so much to do, to grade. Yamada sat up straight, hitting each side of his face, cheeks now red and palms stinging numbly.
There, that was better.
—
Yamada’s eyes scanned the room as he waited for Shouta to return. The quiet of his apartment was something he wasn’t quite used to. It wasn’t oppressive—just… peaceful. Comfortable. It had been a long day for both of them, and Shouta’s offer to just come over and grade had been a welcome excuse to sit and relax.
He reached up to the base of his signature high updo, fingers fiddling with the casing of gel he had casted on it earlier that day (or was it yesterday?) holding it in place. With a soft sigh, he pulled it loose, running his fingers through it, shaking out his blonde hair. It slowly tumbled past his shoulders in waves, gleaming faintly in the dim light of the living room. Yamada ruffled the strands with his fingers, sighing again, this time in relief.
The sound of soft footsteps pulled his attention slowly. Shouta appeared in the doorway, holding two mugs of steaming tea in his hands. For a moment, he froze.
Yamada glanced up, brushing stray strands of hair away from his face. “Hey, Shou!” he said casually, voice cheery but slightly tired. “That took you long enough. You knitting the tea leaves or something?”
Shouta blinked, his dark eyes lingering on Yamada longer than usual. His hair, normally defying gravity in a loud and confident updo now framed his face gently, the loose waves giving him an entirely different appearance. Shouta swallowed hard, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically off balance.
“...No,” he muttered, his tone flat as ever, but there was a slight edge to it, just enough to betray his distraction. “I was letting it steep.”
He stepped forward, carefully placing a mug on the table in front of Yamada before sitting (rather closely) beside him with his own. He refused to look directly at him, keeping his gaze trained on the steam rising from his tea. (suddenly finding it interesting…)
Yamada noticed, of course. He always noticed. He simply chose not to comment, sipping his tea with a smile, the warmth of it immediately coursing through his body.
—
After a while, Shouta placed his mug of tea on his coffee table, grabbing his stack or ungraded papers and a red pen, silently preparing to work on the quizzes he had assigned almost a week prior. The erasure hero's voice broke the silence, “Start whenever you feel like it Yamada, I’ve got tests to grade.”
Yamada nodded, his eyes back in focus, “I Should probably be doing the same, don’t wanna keep those listeners waiting!”
Continuing his instinctive smile, Yamada reached forward, grabbing his own stack of essays and a matching red pen, his hands had a slight shake to them but he paid that no mind, starting his long winded grading process with Shouta at his side.
There was something calming about tonight, the two heroes side by side, grading their respective papers in tandem, Yamadas hushed comments and soft humming filling the room where silence normally stood. It was a nice change of pace, Shouta decided.
And so it progressed, the night was now filled with the smell of tea and pens meeting paper, continuing for hours on end.
"This kid really thought naming every hero from Top Ten Monthly would count as an essay answer," Yamada said, laughing quietly to himself as he held up the paper for Shouta to see.
Shouta glanced at it, unimpressed. "The student's these days are so irrational" he muttered, crossing out a particularly egregious answer on his own paper.
Yamada grinned and marked something on the test before setting it aside. “We need to find a way to make these kids take essay questions seriously.”
Shouta snorted. “Throw more tests at them is what I say.”
Yamada laughed, his voice softer than usual, the hour clearly catching up to him. He reached for his tea and took a sip, his hands more noticeably shaking, sighing as he leaned back into the couch. “You’re no fun, Shou.”
“I’m efficient,” Shouta corrected, though his tone lacked any usual bite.
The night wore on, the stack of papers slowly dwindling between the two of them. The conversation grew quieter, interspersed with long stretches of silence as both men focused on their grading. The tea cooled, forgotten on the table, and the steady hum of the apartment became the only sound.
Shouta finished another paper and set it on the completed stack, glancing over at Yamada. He was still working, but his movements had slowed, his handwriting growing messier as the evening dragged on. His glasses had slipped down his nose just slightly as his green eyes began to fog.
“You’re slowing down,” Shouta observed.
Yamada made a vague sound of protest, waving him off without looking up. “I’m fine,” he mumbled, though his voice lacked its usual energy. Shouta didn’t push. He returned to his papers, but out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Hizashi’s head dipped slightly, his movements becoming lazier with each passing moment.
Finally, Yamada let out a long sigh, the grip on his pen loosening, eyes closing slightly, his head tipping to the side. Despite his best efforts to stay awake, his head jerking up every so often, it became too much. His temple brushed against Shouta’s shoulder, and this time, it didn’t come back up, not right away.
Shouta didn’t react audibly, his pen still scratching quietly against the page. After a moment, Yamada seemed to unconsciously take it as permission and let his head rest there fully, his body sinking into Shouta’s side.
—
The silence stretched on, broken only by the soft sounds of Yamada’s breathing as it evened out. Shouta glanced down, his gaze softening as he realized Yamada had actually fallen asleep.
His glasses were askew, his face relaxed in a way Shouta rarely saw. The ever-present energy that defined Yamada was gone, replaced by something quieter, more vulnerable. It was an odd but not unwelcome sight, it just saddened the erasure hero that this was the circumstance that prompted his realization.
Yamada was always one to give too much with too little in him. Never mattered what he was doing, if someone else was involved, that would be his priority. It was noble, yes, something a true hero would do, but it was too much. Shouta hated every moment he saw it happen but was never brave enough to comment. He knew Yamada would be irrational, push away any and all concerns, choosing to push himself in other ways.
The man had three jobs after all, giving everything he had in every single one because that’s who he was. Adding this week's extra radio show hours was definitely doing him no favors. Shouta couldn’t help the guilt that rose in his chest when he looked down at Yamada, his perfect image reduced to exhaustion, with an expression that couldn’t quite be placed.
The man asleep before Shouta wasn’t Present Mic, it was Hizashi Yamada.
Against his better judgement, Shouta stayed where he was, allowing Yamada to relax further against him, mouth slightly agape. Despite everything, Shouta enjoyed this, enjoyed the calm of the night, and enjoyed Yamada by his side. He found himself leaning into the warmth at his side, continuing grading as if nothing was amiss.
This continued for a good while, Yamada occasionally stirred but remained sitting upright, his head comfortably leaning against Shoutas shoulder.
But, as if on cue Yamada groaned, a soft murmur escaping him as he shifted against Shouta’s shoulder. His brows furrowed slightly, his face scrunching up in confusion as his eyes fluttered open.
“Shou…?” Yamada’s voice was thick with sleep, his gaze unfocused as he blinked up at him.
“You fell asleep,” Shouta said quietly, looking to his side, his tone even.
It took a moment for the words to register, but when they did, Yamada jolted upright, his eyes wide with alarm. “Oh, crap!” he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair in a panic. “I didn’t mean to—I wasn’t supposed to—”
“Yamada.” Shouta’s calm voice cut through the spiral before it could gain momentum.
Yamada quickly started to rant once more, guilt written all over his face, “I’m sorry man, I… didn’t mean to conk out like that. We were supposed to be grading not—”
“You needed the rest,” Shouta interrupted, his voice firm but not unkind.
Yamada froze, his hands clutching the blanket as he stared at Shouta. “I… I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I wasn’t trying to slack off or anything...!”
Shouta sighed, leaning back against the couch. “I know you weren’t. But you’re exhausted, Yamada. You’ve been running yourself into the ground again, and it’s catching up to you.”
Yamada laughed, but it sounded more like a wheeze. He waved a hand dismissively. “I’ve been tired before, Shou. This is nothing new.”
Shouta’s gaze was steady, unrelenting. “That’s the problem.”
Yamada blinked at him, thrown off by the weight in his voice. He shifted in his seat, attempting to muster some of his usual bravado, but it faltered under Shouta’s stare. “Geez, what’s with you tonight? You’re all serious.”
“You’re not,” Shouta said flatly. “And it’s killing you.”
That shut him up. Yamada blinked again, and for once, he didn’t have anything clever to say. He looked away, scratching at the back of his neck. “I’m fine,” he mumbled. “I’m always fine.”
“No, you’re not,” Shouta said, his voice dropping lower. There was no anger in it, no frustration—just something heavy and raw, like an old wound reopening. “You’re running yourself into the ground, Yamada. You think I don’t notice? You think I don’t see what this is doing to you?”
Yamada opened his mouth to retort, but Shouta didn’t let him. He leaned forward, his dark eyes burning with an intensity Hizashi rarely saw.
“I know you,” Shouta said, his voice shaking just slightly. “I know you keep pushing because you think you have to. Because you’re terrified of stopping. Of being still. You think if you slow down, you’ll disappear. Like if you’re not loud, not bright, not perfect, no one will care.”
The words hit Yamada like a punch to the chest. He stared at Shouta, his mouth dry, his heart pounding painfully in his ribs. “Shou, I—”
“You don’t have to,” Shouta interrupted, his voice barely above a whisper. He reached across the table, his hand hovering hesitantly before resting gently over Yamada’s. His thumb brushed over Yamada’s knuckles, slow and deliberate. “You don’t have to do any of it. Not for me. Not ever.”
Yamada’s breath hitched. “Shouta...”
“I see you,” Shouta said, his voice breaking just enough to let the cracks show. “Even when you think no one does. Even when you’re too tired to see yourself. I see you, Hizashi. And I’m still here. I’ll always be here.”
Hizashi swallowed hard, his vision blurring. He tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat, and all that came out was a choked laugh. “You... You always say stuff like this so calmly, like it’s nothing. Like you’re not ripping me open with every word.”
“It’s not nothing,” Shouta said softly. “It’s everything. You’re everything.” He paused, looking Hizashi in the eyes, “My everything.”
That broke him. Hizashi let out a shuddering sob, covering his face with his free hand. Tears spilled through his fingers, his shoulders trembling as he tried to hold himself together. “You can’t just... You can’t say stuff like that, Shou. It’s too much.”
“It’s the truth Hizashi. You deserve so much more than you give yourself, and I want to help you see that.”
Shouta’s words were simple but far from untrue. His hands found Hizashi’s, pulling them away from his face. Hizashi let him, his body heavy and exhausted, the tears he had desperately wanted to hide falling freely now.
“…You do so much Hizashi, you’ve done everything for me. Let me do the same, just this once.” Shouta’s voice was a whisper, his eyes now starting to sting just slightly.
Hizashi shook his head weakly, tears now falling onto Shouta’s hands. “…There’s too much Shouta. I— I could never ask something like that from you…”
“But you’re not asking. I’m here because I want to be. (Because I love you.) Just let go, Hizashi. Let me see you.”
Hizashi stared at Shouta, clinging to his hands like it was a lifeline. His breath hitched as he tried to choke back another sob, but Shouta didn’t let go, didn’t pull away. He stayed right there beside him on that couch, his hands warm and steady as they held Hizashi’s trembling ones.
“I’m sorry,” Hizashi whispered, his voice broken. “I’m so sorry, Shou.”
“For what?” Shouta asked, his voice quiet but unyielding.
“For—” Hizashi hesitated, his breath hitching again. “For being like this. For breaking down. For... for making you deal with it. I should be stronger than this.”
Shouta pulled back just enough to look Hizashi in the eye, his expression sharp, almost angry. “Don’t.”
“But I’m supposed to be—”
“You’re supposed to be you,” Shouta cut in, his voice firm, but not harsh. “Not the version of yourself you think everyone needs. Not a performer, not a shield, not some endless battery of energy. Just you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Hizashi.”
Hizashi’s lip trembled as he searched Shouta’s face, as if trying to find some crack in his resolve, some lie hidden in the words. But there was nothing there except an unshakable honesty that made him crumble all over again.
“I don’t know how to do that,” Hizashi admitted, his voice barely audible. “Why does something so simple sound so hard, Shouta…?”
Shouta sighed softly, brushing his thumb over Hizashi’s hand. “You don’t have to figure it out alone. You’ve never had to, Hizashi. I’m here. And now, I always will be.”
Hizashi closed his eyes, letting the words settle into the quiet spaces inside him. They felt foreign, like something he didn’t deserve but wanted desperately to believe. When he opened his eyes again, he looked at Shouta with a vulnerability he rarely let anyone see.
“You’re not just the noise you make, Hizashi. You’re not just the energy you give. You’re everything you are when it’s quiet, too. And I see that. I see you.”
Hizashi let out a shuddering breath, now leaning heavily into Shouta’s side. He felt like he was collapsing under the weight of everything he’d been carrying for so long, but for once, he didn’t feel like he had to hold it all alone.
Shouta shifted slightly, wrapping an arm around Hizashi’s shoulders and pulling him closer. Hizashi rested his head against Shouta’s chest, his tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt. Shouta didn’t seem to care. He just held him, steady and unmoving.
“You don’t have to do this all at once,” Shouta murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Learning how to rest, how to stop... It takes time. But I’ll be here for all of it. However long it takes.”
Hizashi nodded weakly against Shouta’s chest. His body felt heavy, his mind foggy from exhaustion, but for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel alone. He didn’t feel like he had to fill the silence with sound or the space with light. He could just... be.
“I’ll try,” Hizashi whispered, his voice raw but sincere. “I’ll try, Shou.”
“That’s all I need,” Shouta said, pressing his lips gently to the top of Hizashi’s head. “I want you to realize just how much you deserve.”
And in the quiet of Shouta’s apartment, as the world outside began to hint at dawn, Hizashi finally closed his eyes, the overwhelming feeling of everything he shouldered felt small, manageable with Shouta by his side. For the first time in what felt like forever, he let himself rest.
And for now, that was more than enough.
—
The first thing Shouta noticed when he woke was the warmth. It wasn’t the usual comforting heaviness of his blanket or the faint chill of the early morning air, it was Hizashi, still tucked against him, their arms tangled together.
The living room was dim, the faint gray light of dawn creeping in through the curtains. The soft hum of the city outside filled the silence, distant and unobtrusive. Shouta blinked a few times, groggy but not unpleasantly so, and let his gaze fall to the man in his arms. Hizashi was still asleep, his head resting against Shouta’s chest, his breathing slow and even.
For once, he looked peaceful. There was no forced energy, no nervous tapping or restless shifting. Just calm. Shouta felt something deep in his chest ease at the sight.
Hizashi stirred slightly, his brow furrowing as he began to wake. His hand, which had been resting lightly against Shouta’s side, tightened reflexively before he lifted his head. His eyes, still rimmed with faint shadows, blinked up at Shouta.
“Shou?” Hizashi’s voice was soft, thick with sleep, a stark contrast to the usual boisterous tone he carried during the day. “What time is it?”
Shouta glanced up at his wall clock. “A little after six.”
Hizashi groaned, burying his face in Shouta’s chest for a moment before pulling back slightly. “I... I didn’t mean to fall asleep… here.”
“I know,” Shouta said, his voice quiet. “You needed it.”
Hizashi blinked at him, his expression unreadable for a moment. Then, slowly, a small, genuine smile tugged at his lips. It wasn’t his usual grin, sharp and loud—it was softer, something just for Shouta.
It wasn't a reflex, not this time.
“Guess I did, huh?” Hizashi murmured, his voice almost shy.
Shouta nodded, his hand coming up to rest gently against the back of Hizashi’s head. He let his fingers thread through Hizashi’s hair, an unspoken reassurance. “You still do.”
Hizashi let out a soft laugh, but it wasn’t dismissive this time. He leaned into Shouta’s touch, his eyes closing briefly. “You’re really somethin’, Sho. Y’know that?”
Shouta didn’t reply, but the faintest hint of a smile ghosted across his lips. He wasn’t the kind of person to say things twice if he didn’t have to. Hizashi already knew.
They stayed like that for a while, the world outside slowly growing brighter. Hizashi’s smile lingered as he traced absent patterns on Shouta’s shirt, his movements lazy and unhurried.
Everything about this felt right.
“Thank you,” Hizashi said finally, his voice quiet but steady. He lifted his gaze to meet Shouta’s, his green eyes shimmering faintly in the morning light. “For everything. For... not giving up on me. For letting me rest. For seeing me.”
Shouta’s hand stilled against Hizashi’s hair. He let the words settle in the air between them, heavy with meaning.
“I told you,” Shouta said softly, his voice steady. “I always will.”
Hizashi’s smile grew, and this time, it reached his eyes. He shifted, pressing a light, lingering kiss to the corner of Shouta’s mouth before settling back against his chest.
Shouta hid the raging blush creeping up his face. He noted that the ache, the one he had ignored for years, was gone.
And as the sun finally rose, bathing the room in soft, golden light, Shouta held Hizashi close, content to stay like this for as long as the world would let them.