Chapter Text
When your alarm went off you reached blindly for the button on top that would get you relief from the shrill noise. When you finally smacked it you pushed yourself into a seated position in the bed and reached for your phone that had an alert flashing on it and groaned to see it was a text from Jay that read He's coming home this week. He wants to see you. You shook your head and threw the phone behind you onto the bed. You couldn't deal with that. It'd been almost two years and the subject still hurt.
You glanced up at the dog tags hanging from the mirror on top of your dresser. The light streaming in the window reflected off the metal surface as if the entire world was meaning to drag your heart through the dirt. You brushed off the dreary feeling and kicked the blankets off your leg. A nice hot shower and some coffee was all you needed to feel human again.
When you walked into the precinct Trudy smiled at you from behind the desk, that smile growing when you held out one of the cups of coffee to her "Morning Trudy" "Morning sweetheart" She said with a nod as you headed up the steps towards intelligence. The fog you'd felt that morning was slowly beginning to lift. If you could dive head first into a case well that would be all the better.
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"What? No coffee for us?" Adam asked with a mock expression of hurt when you sat a cup down on Kim's then Erin's desk and stuck your tongue out at him "You see Ruz us ladies have to stick together." Hank shook his head with a laugh from where he stood talking to Jay and Al. "When you're through passing out coffee and busting Ruzek's balls I need to speak with you for a minute"
"Yes sir" you replied trying to remember if you'd done anything worth being yelled at for. He tilted his head towards his office so you followed him curious as to just what was going on.
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"Have a seat" he said motioning to the chairs in front of his desk so you sat down. He walked around to sit in his chair, eyes never leaving you. "We're getting another tech expert in here soon" Oh so that's what this was about. Did he feel like you would say something against the new person in that slot?
"Sounds good to me. No offense to any of the team but we all sorta suck at that end. I mean I'm decent and I still suck compared to the skills we really need"
You were trying to make a joke and actually got rewarded with a half smile from Hank. "Good, I'm glad you feel like that. Thing is we don't exactly know when they're gonna start so I need you to install the new software that was sent over for the tech room downstairs" "Why me?" You asked suddenly wishing you had never picked up anything about computers.
He shrugged and said "Well out of all of us here you picked up the most skills. It's simple stuff really but anyone else I'm afraid they'd crash the entire system"
You weren't going to argue with him so you nodded "Yes sir. I'll go get started now so if we happen to have a case pop up later" You stood to walk out but stopped when Hank added "Thank you. I mean I know you don't have that detective shield for shit like this but it helps"
You smiled and said "Don't mention it boss. I get my hands plenty dirty in the field. Why not put some tech work under my belt?" Then walked out to head down to the tech room.
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You walked into the room and felt a chill run through you and suddenly wished you'd brought your jacket downstairs. The equipment in here had to stay a certain temp and it used to not bother you but now? It felt like a frickin ice box.
You sent Kim a text begging for more coffee and your jacket before picking up a new laptop that was still in the box and looking over the manuals that were with it. "Well let's see how much actually sunk in" You muttered to nobody in particular as you went to work.
When Jay left around lunch saying he had to run to the airport everyone still in the bullpen spun around to face him "Is Mouse coming home today?" Erin asked, glancing back at the hallway you'd have to come up through. "Yea. She knew it was this week but not today. He's been dying to see her and I really hope Voight isn't going to want him to start until I can ease it onto her" Jay answered as he pulled his jacket on. "Wait, he's the new tech guy?" Kim asked in shock.
"He knows this team and I know he can be trusted" Hank cut in from where he stood at his office door.
Adam let out a low whistle and when everyone looked to him he pointed at your empty desk "Any of you think about the shit storm you're bringing down on her?"
"Yeah! I mean Jay you should've told her and Hank! C'mon man why would you spring something like that on her?" Erin threw in knowing out of everyone she could get away with calling Hank out.
He faced her before saying "She's a strong woman Erin. She can handle it. We need him here to fill the position and she isn't going to argue something for the good of this unit. As for her personal feelings she didn't let what happened affect her on the job and I don't see her letting it now. When and if there is a problem I will handle it"
Jay pointed towards the door "Well I'm gonna go. All of you can curse me once I leave and try to convince Erin to kill me in my sleep" "Such bullshit" Kim muttered to Kevin who nodded in agreement. "I give it two hours before they're either fighting or doing something that shouldn't go down at work. The way the two were about each other, that doesn't disappear" "She was a wreck when he left. I'd put my money more on fight" Adam cut in earning him a glare from Kim. Al stood up from his desk and said "Whatever does or doesn't go down is between them" and that was the end of the conversation.
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You were sitting in the middle of the tech room surrounded by new coms, new cameras,tablets and laptops currently growing a headache. "I hate this shit!" You groaned and heard your phone go off where you had sat it on the desk but at the moment you could've cared less about anything anyone was telling you via text. If you were really needed they'd send someone down after you. Hank had banished you to this tech hell and you would be damned before you headed upstairs in defeat.
Walking up the stairs to the twenty first was a surreal feeling for Mouse. The last time he'd been here you had left in tears after telling him goodbye.
Every day he regretted hurting you the way he had. You had been made to feel like you were forcing him to choose to do what he wanted to with his life or being with you. You'd taken yourself out the equation and his heart still hurt when he remembered your eyes that night. You had still written to him once a month.
It was less personal then if you'd sent a hallmark greeting card but it was at least a sign you were alive and remembered he existed. The letters had stopped the moment he'd told you he had a discharge date. He wasn't stupid. He knew you didn't want to see him but when Voight had offered his job back along with the perks he'd offered he couldn't say no. Even if you hated him he would be able to see you. He was willing to hide in the tech room all day to stay out your way but the truth was more than anything he wanted another chance with you.
Trudy spotted him first and an actual smile perked up her face "Oh my god! Mouse!" He was shocked when she came around the counter to pull him into a hug. "You look good Gerwitz" "Thanks Trudy and I heard congrats are in order. You got married!" He replied smiling when she showed him the ring. "I'm gonna take him up" Jay threw in nodding towards the steps. Trudy's face went blank with horror "Um Jay she's still down in the tech room" "Good thing we're going up first huh?" Jay responded, dragging Mouse up the steps by his arm.
"Guessing she doesn't know I'm coming here today and probably doesn't know about the job?" Mouse pondered as they headed up to the bullpen and groaned when Jay did a so-so motion with his hand "Oh for fuck's sake Jay! You shouldn't have sprung this on her!"
"That's exactly what I said!" Kim spoke up from her desk before standing to hug Mouse "but welcome back still" The overall greeting was welcoming back a family member but there was still a feeling of dread that came along with knowing they were welcoming one and putting another's heart at risk in the process. After Al hugged him he pointed him towards the stairs "Well kid why don't you go down to the tech room and rip the damn bandaid off?"
If there was one thing Mouse was certain would never change, it was Alvin Olinsky. That man called everyone's bullshit.
He headed for the stairs hearing murmurs behind him but focusing on the fact that you were in front of him.
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"Ugh! You stupid son of a bitch I already did that! I think you just don't fucking like me!" Yes you were arguing with a tablet but damn, it had gotten on your nerves.
"Well sweetheart if it doesn't like you it's got really bad taste" You heard a familiar voice say from behind you, causing you to startle as you jumped to face Mouse who was standing in the doorway.
You could feel your brain fuzz out like an old tv as you looked at him. His shoulders were broader than they had been before, biceps straining against the material of his t-shirt with his movements. A layer of scruff covered his jawline and he was about three shades tanner than the last time you'd seen him. The chain of his dog tags sticking out his collar made you subconsciously reach for the chain you hadn't worn in a year, knowing it wasn't at your neck.
When he moved his left arm you could see the hint of a tattoo peeking out his sleeve and knew you probably looked like an idiot sitting there surrounded by equipment and staring at him slack jawed but you couldn't help it.
All the love you felt for him and all the anger you'd buried at how he'd broken your heart washed over you in a crushing wave and it took effort to get your brain started back up. "Greg" you all but whispered and when he smiled had you been standing your knees would've gotten weak "She remembers! Can I get a welcome back?" You mentally slammed the door shut on all the emotions threatnening to spill over and held up the tablet before saying "Welcome back now come fucking help me"
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You could feel your hands shaking as Mouse helped you to set up all the new equipment in no time. "Guessing you're the tech person?" You asked, breaking the silence in the room. He glanced up from the laptop he was currently typing on and smiled, something so familiar it made your chest ache "Only if it's ok with you. Voight offered"
"Why wouldn't it be? We split before you left, remember?" You knew you sounded cold but you had to. You couldn't bear to let yourself slip around him or you'd be pulled in. You couldn't let yourself feel everything you wanted because what if you did and then he decided once more it wasn't enough? "How could I ever forget about you telling me you didn't want to be with me anymore?" He asked in a small voice and you felt tears spring to your eyes so you quickly got to your feet "Looks like you've got this. I'm heading up"
Mouse regretted the words the moment he said them. He'd promised himself he'd give you space and time but God being this close to you after so long and not being able to touch you, you barely looking at him. He'd broken your heart he knew that but he hadn't exactly escaped unscathed either.
He called your name when you sprung up to leave but you practically ran from the room. A part of him wanted to run after you but he knew now wasn't the time. This was your job and his now as well. This was also just his first day back in Chicago and Jay hadn't even warned you. He looked back down at the stack of equipment and let out a sigh "Welcome home Gerwitz" he mumbled to the empty room before starting to put everything in its place.