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“Fuck me, why is it so cold?!”
This was insane. Completely unacceptable. How did people choose to live in temperatures like this?!
Logically, Tommy had known that he should be prepared for this. He’d known that Los Angeles was significantly warmer than a lot of places in the country. And he’d taken it seriously and prepared himself mentally. He’d figured that he had been ready when he and Evan had boarded the plane back home.
Now, standing outside the airport and waiting for Evan’s parents to pick them up, it became more than obvious that he wasn’t prepared. Nothing ever could’ve possibly prepared him for the wind to give him the worst hug of all time, or the icicles it drew down his spine. It felt like Winter itself was attacking him with countless tiny daggers to his face and especially his ears. Evan had told him to buy a beanie or a pair of ear warmers, but he hadn’t taken him seriously.
Oh, what a terrible mistake that was.
“Uh, because it’s December and we’re in Pennsylvania?” Evan answered with a raised eyebrow and barely concealed smile, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
Tommy shot Evan a glare so venomous it could have melted the frost off his eyelashes...if his eyelashes had actually been frozen. They weren’t, but it felt like they might be any second now.
“This is not December. This is the Arctic tundra, and I didn’t sign up for this kind of abuse,” Tommy retorted, pulling his hoodie tighter around his head. It was useless against the gusts of wind that seemed hell-bent on cutting through every layer of clothing he had.
Evan, of course, looked unfazed. If anything, he looked amused. Dressed in a thick winter jacket and wearing the very beanie Tommy had mocked in the store just last week, he seemed utterly immune to the cold. It was infuriating. “I told you it was going to be cold, Tommy,” Evan said with a chuckle, his breath visible in the air. “You can’t blame me for your stubbornness.”
“I’m not blaming you,” Tommy said through chattering teeth. “I’m blaming this state. How do people live here?!”
Evan rolled his eyes, but Tommy could clearly see the onset of a fond smile at the corners of his mouth. “You’re being dramatic. It’s not even that cold.”
“Not that cold?!” Tommy exclaimed, his voice rising in pitch. He waved his hands around like a madman, a feeble attempt at warming himself up. “This is frostbite weather! My toes are going to fall off! I can’t feel my nose! This is how I die!”
“Relax. My parents will be here in, like, five minutes,” Evan said, checking his phone. “You’ll survive.”
And that sent a completely different sort of shiver down Tommy’s spine. Margaret and Phillip Buckley were a…complicated subject, and even after two years of dating Evan and meeting his biological parents several times, he wasn’t quite sure what to think of them. They’d been…awkward at first, but Tommy had expected that. It wasn’t every day that your 33-year-old, previously thought-to-be-straight son showed up at your daughter’s wedding with his newly minted boyfriend. There was no script for a situation like that. Over time though, they’d gotten around, and Tommy figured they at least were able to tolerate him, considering that he was invited whenever they came to Los Angeles. (Though even if they didn’t, Evan, Maddie and Chimney probably would probably make sure he was included anyway.)
Of course, Tommy was also acutely aware of the rather…tumultuous past of the Buckley family.
The story about Daniel Buckley and his tragic, untimely death had come out of Evan in bits and pieces over their time together. Tommy had first heard Daniel’s name around a week after Maddie and Chimney’s wedding, when Evan had mentioned that they had originally planned to leave two empty seats at their table at the reception. One for Kevin, of course, and the other for someone named Daniel. Tommy hadn’t known who exactly Daniel had been, but clearly he must’ve been a big deal when a space at the bride and groom’s table was kept empty for him.
He had first learned that Daniel had been Maddie and Evan’s brother about a week after that. It was at the first of a few double dates with Eddie and Marisol (and boy, did he still kind of cringe whenever he thought about her and the way her and Eddie’s relationship had ended), when she had mentioned a petty squabble she’d recently gotten into with her own brother. Both Evan and Eddie had shared anecdotes about their sisters, and Evan had openly wondered what his relationship with Daniel might’ve been like. Marisol had been visibly confused (Tommy had very much seen the discreet head shake Eddie had sent her), but Tommy had obviously connected the dots.
He hadn’t learned that Evan had been a savior baby until a few months later, when, on their frequent journey of making Evan watch movies, Tommy had decided to put on My Sister’s Keeper. The choice had been an innocent one. He had thought it was a tearjerker that Evan, with his endless compassion, would appreciate. He hadn’t expected his boyfriend to sit frozen through most of it, his face pale and jaw tight. At first, Tommy had thought that it was just the movie getting to Evan like it did to most people, but by the climax of the film, Evan had abruptly stood up and muttered something about needing air.
The aftermath of that night, from Evan explaining the circumstances of his birth, to Tommy profoundly apologizing for his movie pick (Evan had assured him it was okay. There was no way Tommy could’ve known), to the revelation of just what Margaret and Phillip had actually done to both Evan and Maddie, had stuck with Tommy in ways only his father and his past in the military had otherwise. A cold, seething rage at the Buckley parents had filled him to the brim, a sense of anger so harsh that he hadn’t fully been able to let go of it even now, a year and a half later.
Tommy shook his head. Evan and Maddie had forgiven their parents. They had gone to therapy together and mended their relationship as well as they could. They were on good terms, which was why he was in the middle of what felt like the Antarctic’s asscrack right now anyway. And besides, after all the shit he had pulled back during his Closet Era™, who was he to judge anyone anyway? It would be more than hypocritical.
“Hey, Earth to Tommy,” Evan said, snapping him out of his thoughts. “You’re starting to look like a puppy that got lost in the snow. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Tommy startled, his head snapping over to Evan, his eyes wide as dishes. He recovered quickly, though, and shot Evan a sheepish look. “Just thinking about what your parents are gonna have to say about you popping the question.”
Evan froze, his easy grin faltering for the briefest of moments. Then his expression softened into something warm, almost shy, as a blush crept up his cheeks, and not from the cold this time. “You think they’ll be surprised?” he asked, his voice quieter now, as if he was scared Margaret and Phillip could be hiding behind the next corner.
With an exaggerated hum, Tommy tilted his head, pretending to think hard about it. “I mean, on one hand, you are incredibly handsome, with a heart of gold and a massive dick that makes angels sing, while I’m just, y’know, me.” He gestured to himself dramatically, as if he was the most repulsive being on the planet. “But on the other hand, everyone back home knew. Hell, I knew for about a month before you proposed. You’re not subtle.”
An incredulous, awkward laugh escaped Evan’s mouth, the blush on his cheeks turning a shade brighter. “Excuse me, but I am absolutely subtle. And you had no idea. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero.”
“Oh, yes, of course, I had no clue!” Tommy shot back, raising his hands in surrender. A move he instantly regretted when the Pennsylvania Winter air crept through his pores directly into his bones. With another shiver, he quickly brought his palms up to his mouth and breathed into them, the warmth of his breath a temporary, but welcome relief. “But seriously, do you think they’ll be weird about it? I mean, it’s one thing for me to just be the boyfriend you have when they expected a girlfriend, but it’s another thing entirely to, you know… potentially be the son-in-law.”
Evan’s gaze held his own for a beat, steady and warm, in spite of the icy wind that Tommy was sure was going to turn his skin blue any moment now. “They’ll be fine,” he said firmly. “They’ve come a long way. We all have. And if they’re not, well...” His face turned harder suddenly, almost determined, even. “It wouldn’t be the first time I picked somebody I love over them.”
Tommy stared at Evan, his breath coming out as a plume of fog in the cold air. He couldn’t decide if the warmth in his chest was from Evan’s unwavering confidence or from the sheer force his heart was currently beating with. He couldn’t fight the tears that shot into his eyes.
“That’s… probably the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” he sniffed, rubbing his eyes. “Also kind of terrifying? In a way? But mostly sweet.”
Evan’s face broke into a soft smile again, the kind that always made Tommy wonder how he ever got this lucky. He’d been a horrible human being in his youth, from the way he’d kept quiet under Gerrard’s captainship, to how he’d strung Abby along for years in an attempt to “fix” himself.
Not for the first time in the last few years, Tommy thought about just how little he actually deserved the life he had. He didn’t deserve a job he loved. He didn’t deserve for the man of his dreams to love him back. He sure as hell didn’t deserve to get married to said guy, or to get chosen by him over his literal family.
Almost as if he read his mind, Evan stepped closer and pulled Tommy into a kiss. Evan’s mouth was surprisingly warm on Tommy’s own, as if it was completely immune to the air around them.
The gentle softness made Tommy’s lips tingle, a sensation that traveled across his cheeks, which turned a soft pink almost instantly, to his ears and then down his neck and into every fiber of his body. Almost instinctively, Tommy wrapped his arms around Evan, pulling him ever closer against him, as if any remaining inch of space between them was an affront to reality itself.
The moment stayed frozen between them for a second, filled with nothing but the howl of the wind and the crunch of snow under a passing car’s tires. For once, Tommy didn’t mind the cold as much. Not with Evan looking at him like that, his blue eyes lit up like a pair of sapphires hanging in the night sky.
He felt it then, the weight of his past slowly lifting off of his heart. He wasn’t that guy anymore. He had gone out of his way to be someone better, someone he could be proud of being. Someone who did deserve the love and happiness he experienced day after day with his fiancé.
“Alright, loverboy, if we stand here any longer, I’m going to turn into a human popsicle,” Tommy said as he pulled away, his teeth beginning to clatter almost instantly as a shiver went down his spine as a particularly cold gust swept over them.
Evan laughed, pulling him closer as if to shield him from the biting wind. “Good thing that they’re here, then, huh?”
Tommy followed Evan’s gaze to see a familiar SUV slowing to a stop just a few feet away. His stomach did an immediate flip, the butterflies waking from their momentary hibernation. He tried not to let his nerves show as Margaret and Phillip stepped out of the car.
Margaret was the first to approach, bundled in a sleek wool coat that somehow managed to make her look as effortlessly composed as ever. Phillip trailed behind her, his face lined with age but still kind in a way that always threw Tommy off balance.
“Buck!” Margaret called, her voice cutting through the wind like it had never learned to be anything but commanding. Her arms opened wide, and Evan stepped into them without hesitation, his beanie brushing against her neatly coiffed hair as he bent over (Tommy honestly had to wonder where the hell Evan’s size had come from, because it definitely wasn’t from either of his parents). “You’re freezing!” she scolded, pulling back just enough to fuss over him.
There was a part of Tommy that wanted to be bitchy and crack a joke about who was actually freezing here, but he held himself back. No need to piss off his future in-laws over the temperature. (Also, it was Tommy’s own fault that he was cold. But he wasn’t ready to acknowledge that yet.) So, he hung back, trying not to feel awkward as he hovered near the luggage. Then, while Margaret continued to fuss over Evan, Phillip came up to him, offering a small smile.
“Tommy,” he greeted, extending a hand. “Good to see you again.”
Tommy took it, shaking firmly despite the numbness creeping into his fingers. “Good to see you too, Mr. Buckley.”
“Please,” Phillip said, waving a hand as if to shoo away the formality. “It’s Phillip.”
“Right. Phillip,” Tommy tried the name out, and it felt just as strange as it always did. He could never quite figure out if he was crossing some invisible line by addressing them so casually or if the line had ever even existed in the first place.
With that, Margaret finally let go of Evan and turned to him, her sharp eyes a tad softer than the last time he’d seen her. “Tommy,” she said with a nod, her tone cordial and vaguely friendly, but far from the warmth you’d hope your Partner’s parents would show you. She walked a few steps over to him and regarded his…less than adequate wardrobe. “I hope the flight wasn’t too bad. You look…unprepared.”
“No, it was fine. Thanks for asking,” Tommy replied, keeping his voice polite but neutral. He wasn’t about to dive into the six-hour battle he’d waged against turbulence, hectic layovers and airplane coffee. “And yeah, uh, I didn’t take Evan seriously when he told me about how cold it is. You know, I’ve never actually seen snow before, so I figured…”
Margaret’s eyebrow slowly climbed up her face, her expression turning more and more incredulous. Tommy bit his tongue. This is going swimmingly, he thought. Great impression to make on your fiancé’s parents, really.
Out of the corners of his eyes, Tommy saw Evan and his father share a look, though he wasn’t sure what kind of look it was. For a fraction of a second, Tommy wondered if Evan was about to ask for his engagement ring back, and he wasn’t sure if he could do that. The ring was simple, a bronze band with a celtic weave design, but Tommy had fallen in love with it almost instantly. If Evan would now ask for it back…No, he wouldn’t. He already said so. Tommy couldn’t think like this. He couldn’t doubt his and Evan’s relationship like that.
Eventually, Evan cleared his throat, quickly gaining his mother’s and Tommy’s attention. With a large, almost blinding smile, he stepped in, grabbing the nearest suitcase and gesturing toward the SUV. “Alright, let’s get everything loaded up before Tommy loses his toes. And we should probably stop at a clothing store when we get to Hershey, you know, for reasons.”
Phillip chuckled, taking the hint and grabbing another bag. “Welcome to Pennsylvania in December, Tommy,” he said, almost cheerfully. “Get in the car before you turn into a smurf. Evan and I got the luggage.”
Tommy didn’t need to be told twice. Without hesitation, he climbed into the SUV, immediately basking in the warmth that enveloped him. It was like stepping into heaven, if heaven smelled faintly of peppermint and pine air fresheners. He let out a small groan of relief, his fingers tingling as they began to thaw. He could already feel life returning to his toes, though they were still mad at him for subjecting them to such a brutal ordeal.
A minute later, Evan climbed into the seat beside him, shaking snowflakes off his jacket as he leaned over to press a quick kiss to Tommy’s temple. “Feeling better already?” he asked, his tone teasing but laced with genuine concern.
“Not quite,” Tommy muttered, sticking his hands in front of the vents to warm them faster. “I think my soul is still somewhere out there, frozen on the curb. But at least the rest of me is starting to defrost.”
Evan laughed, the sound soft and fond, before reaching over to grab Tommy’s hands and rub them between his own. “Well, we’ll get you some gloves and a decent jacket before you have to face the cold again. Or maybe I’ll just have to keep holding your hands like this everywhere we go.”
“Now, that’s a solution I can get behind,” Tommy quipped, leaning into Evan’s touch. “But I’m holding you to that.”
As the car pulled away from the curb, Margaret glanced at them in the rearview mirror. Her expression was unreadable, but she didn’t say anything about the way Evan’s hands lingered on Tommy’s. It made him gulp a little, his earlier fear of her rejecting him coming back. But then Evan pulled his hands up and kissed his knuckles, and he looked at him with such huge amounts of love that Tommy couldn’t help but relax. Evan chose him. Was choosing him. Would always choose him. Margaret and Phillip might not ever be his biggest fans, but Evan’s words echoed in his mind: They’ll be fine. And if they’re not…
Tommy reached up to wrap an arm around Evan’s shoulders, and he melted into the embrace and rested his head on Tommy’s shoulder, his hand moving to rest on Tommy’s knee. With a sigh, Tommy looked out of the window, admiring the Pennsylvania Winter Landscape, the last of his worries giving way to a sense of content. Marge and Phil would be fine. And if they weren’t fine? Well, Evan had already made it clear where his loyalty lay.
And for now, that was enough.