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She wasn't an angry person.
Not even close to be one.
But at the moment, she was furious.
Punching the large training bag hung on the roof. Punch after Punch, angry tears jumped off her single eye.
" Freak this all!" She screamed, giving a kick so strong she heard the rope breaking loudly before the bag attached to it fell down, making a large dust cloud. She felt herself falling together on her knees, loud sobs escaping from her throat.
Why was she like that?
Lil'Lady, her stage name. Loo herself gave it to her. At times, Jackrabbit, or Jax, one of the fight club's champions, a guy who, for some reason, she was currently dating, would tease her, saying the manager should have picked a more cute name, like Soft Cupcake, or Syrup Pancake, as she was as sweet, naive and pathetic as those ridiculous names were.
However, Loo explained she could see, inside her sweet candy heart, a fighting spirit that irradiated the ring whenever she fought, despite having this lady like appearence. She was passionate about it, she used her whole self to it. Whenever she heard the audience cheering, whenever she saw Jax putting aside his smug grin, and replace it to a proud one after a victory of hers, whenever she received a "Well done" from her manager.
The tiredness, the deprivations she had to stand, everything was worthy it for a brief moment.
Somehow, none of those things mattered when they faced her big low self-esteem complex. Especially when she lost a fight. And it was even worse when she committed the same mistakes over and over. Again and again. That unlock the an unexplainable rage inside herself. There was the moment which her stupid self attempts to destroy everything around her. Including herself... her fists were bleeding at that point.
Ragatha let out a maniac laugh. Not even sure if there was any logical thought crossing her dumb mind. The laugh was soon replaced by the sobs again. An uncontrollable chain of sobs. The red haired woman didn't even realize someone coming inside the room. She couldn't care less.
" That poor thing."
The single eye finally opened. A tall, strong shaped presence, bunny ears, a pair of golden eyey... standing with his arms crossed, looking to the bag she just ripped off the roof.
" Just to point it, I am talking to the bag. It didn't deserve being ripped off like that."
A painful sob came out from Ragatha. In her current state, a force to even reply that annoying rabbit was non-existent.
-" Able won't be happy when he sees that. Well, not like that guy is happy at any moment, but he will be specially less happy when he sees this... after all, you weren't supposed to be training here, hookie." Said Jax in an unamused tone, almost regretting of inviting her to train in the champion's area without his manager acknowledging it.
The rabbit man glanced, waiting for the humanoid doll's comeback. It didn't come. He sighed. This was one of the moments his teasing wouldn't distract her and take her out from her distressed state.
No. Anything he could say to her would be like an irrelevant noise which she could, no, she would ignore. And Jax hated those moments. Because his only option was to stand there watching her crying. The bunny wouldn't be able to make her feel better... not like he cared, or anything. It was just because her crying was annoying, so annoying that made his heart twist.
" Ragatha, let's go home. There is no point on staying here breaking my manager's academy, it will not-"
- " Please... leave me alone."
" Sorry, Raggy. Not gonna happen."
" Please, I am begging you." She hiccuped.
" Would you really feel better destroying that place down?" Jax frowned. The pain on her face was a bit unsettling.
" I... I will give up..." Ragatha whispered, her voice close to break again.
Placing his closed fists inside his jackets pockets, Jax's closed his eyes. - " If that's what you want. Go ahead." He finally said, making Ragatha's eye twitch. A small part of herself hoped he'd say something supportive. To tell her not to give up. But no way he woukd ever say something like that... The other large part of herself was sure it was fool to wish for that guy ever change. As fool as her dream to become a champion someday. The woman had her gaze firm on staring the ground she was sat.
" Raggy. It is dumb from your part hoping me to tell you to continue with this. You know that, right?" The red curled doll made a enormous effort to not show her shocked expression. Jax couldn't read minds, could he?
" No matter if it's me, Loo, or any other of your friends telling you that you can't give up. You're the only one who can convince yourself to keep going or to stop. I could train you to the extent of breaking your bones, Loo can tell you the sweetest self-supporting stuff... none of those things will have any value if it's all up to you, at the end." He whistled, bending down to drag the punch bag to a wall. He didn't need to look at her to know she wasn't facing him. He let un inaudible sigh.
" My opinion is that you are a good fighter. And you know I'm not lying, because i wouldn't do it just to make you feel better. However, you are always trying to please others whenever you fight, that's where you just put it all to a lose. And that's why I think you should give up."
The worst part of his whole speech for Ragatha was that he was right. She was well aware of this. But how could he just tell her to give up like this? He knew how important all of it was to her. Wait, the whole giving up story came from her, to beggin with. Her silence was a sign for the Jax that he was probably making her uncomfortable, however she had to listen it
" The please others thing doesn't stop in fighting. You are a people pleaser. In all areas of your life. And I do believe it's for your own good. Too soft, too polite, too giving, too forgiving. Like you don't matter at all."
Ragatha rolled her wet eyes. His words were like daggers on her chest, they made her blood boil.
" So what... so what I'm good for my own good?" Asked the ragdoll, a bit more to herself than to the humanoid bunny.
" So what is that in the end of the day, you are always the one crying in the floor. And you can't blame anyone, but yourself." An uncomfortable pause hung in the air. But Jax continued - " Still, I know you don't want to give up, both for being a people pleaser and a champion. While I hardly believe you can get both of ir, it'd be fun to watch." -
" Why do you always..." she paused, not sure about how to finish the sentence. She wanted to say he was cruel... that he was always amused by people suffering. Yet, she couldn't... for some reason. -
" Why did you lose this time?"
" Like I know." she countered
" You should. It was your fight." Replied him
" I guess I don't need someone else to throw the blame over my shoulders, okay? I can do that myself."
" If you can do this yourself, you can figure out what leaded you to your loss today." The yarn haired doll sniffed. She was so ashamed about it.
It all started when the new girl showed up.
Pomni. Ragatha was the first to offer her hand to help the new stuff to get adjusted. That motherly instinct was natural to her. Pomni was ambitious, but somewhat shy and jumpsy. Yet, Ragatha couldn't help, but feel a bit envious about how pretty the new one was. Dark chocolate hair, bicolored eyes mixing red eye and one blue eye.
After getting used to the place and to the routine, Pomni showed to be someone confident and faithful to her ownself as well, and Ragatha admirated it deeply Soon the two formed a friendship, but also a rivalry. The new girl never hide it. She was constantly inviting Ragatha for some cool downs. The older woman felt the younger one's intentions were genuine. To improve herself.
Also, she could feel the new girl's admiration and reliance towards her, what made her happy at some extent. It would be good if Ragatha didn't take this rivalry too far.
If she wouldn't start to feel a bit of jealousy.
If the new stuff wouldn't be so praised...
-" It has something to do with that Pomni girl?"
And plus, the cherry in the top, that bunny. That stupid telepath bunny.
" No. Why would Pomni have anything to do with it? I-"
" I am too good to feel jealous about someone. I am too princess to feel a nasty feeling towards someone. How do you even dare think I am like you, commoner?" Jax said with a mocking tone. A tone he had mastered throgout the years. -
" What?"
" Awn, am I just right? You can't admit you are envious about the new girl? Don't you think I don't notice your fake smile when she comes bouncing whenever she wins and you don't?"
" Stop it." Whispered Ragatha, her voice almost disappearing.
" No. I guess I have to bring up the truth to you, even if it shatters your precious candy heart. You are no different from anyone else, and as soon as you realize it, the better."
" You are so cruel..." the woman sighed, feeling a painful knot in her throat. Before the bunny could answer, she stood up. a look of pain and anguish taking over her features - " You are right. I know you are right, Jax. But... but... you can't just say those things like this. Hurts when you are the one telling me that." she said, hiding her face. Tears threatening to fall again
" I care for you, Ragatha." the rabbit spoke, with a rare serious tone.
" Sorry, but It doesn't sound like you do."
" I wouldn't lose my time if I didn't, Raggs, youu know it very well. " Jax walked slowly until he got to sit down, gesturing to her to sit back where she was previously, which Ragatha reluctantly did. After a moment of non-talking, Jax looked her with the side of his eyes. Geez, his doll looked like a mess.
" You shouldn't think you are a bad person for feeling the way you are." he said, placing his hand on the red-haired woman's shoulder, squeezing it slightly.
" Of course I should. Poor Pomni has no fault my self-esteem is so low. Looks like I am making her the entire reason of my failure."
" It doesn't look like. It's exactly what you are doing." Ragatha rolled her single again. - " Then, what am I, if I am not bad for this?" Asked her with a demanding voice.
" You are normal, I guess." he said, scratching his non-existent nose with the tip of his finger.
" Huh?"
" It's normal to feel jealous about someone. It's normal to want to be validated, admirated, praised. I don't know who built up In your little silly mind you were a fairytale princess, unable to be bad. You know, you a human... eh... a half human? By the way, you got it." the rabbit finished with a light laugh. Ragatha sniffed, cleaning her running nose with the back of her hand. -
" Aren't you disappointed by that?"
" Huh? I don't care enough to be disappointed, my dear. "
" You said you care for me."
Jax glanced lazily to her. - " Yes, I do. I don't care to those flaws on you, I guess. Everyone feels like that."
" Pomni doesn't."
" Of course she does. Why do you think she is constantly challenging you? It's not only because you two are friends or whatever. She never asks that to other members, because, she knows you are the big deal in your team... Loo's project of a champion. I am not saying she is deadly jealous of you. But you can be sure she is at some extent."
Ragatha's jaw declined a little.
" It's why I am telling you it's normal." He said, striking her reddish hair, succeeding in making her grimace angrily.
" B-but, I don't want to embrace those feelings." she commented quietly, adjusting her messy hair.
" No one is telling you to do that. I'm simply stating you shouldn't be all lame about feeling the way you are. Just have to learn how to cope properly to this and stop losing your cool. Mostly, to stop projecting this on your fights. It's unfair mainly to you, when you just throw away all your abilities and hard working." His gaze shifted for a moment. Inside, her heart was beating a little faster. She knew it was a little difficult for him to be the person who comforted others, so she felt lucky that he made her an exception.
"Aw, Jax, thank you so much." She could swear she saw the purple rabbit man's cheeks getting a bit pink.
" For what? Bursting your bubble about being a miss sunshine?" The girl grinned.
" Yes!"
" You're so pathetic."
" Yet, you never miss the chance of cheering me up."
" Nah, it's just annoying when you are lame. No fun to mess with you at all."
" You know you looove me, say it." Ragatha playfully poking her boyfriend's side, making him frown
" I love you, Ragatha, bleh-" He faked, making the woman chuckle.
" I know you meant it." She smiled
" Yes, enjoy the imaginary scenario." He smiled back, a soft tone of pink covering his face.
" Are you... blushing?" she asked in a teasing tone, bringing her face closer to his.
" No, why would I blush? It's just pretty warm here"
" Hm, yeah. Whatever you say, Jax." Then he leaned his face slightly closer to hers, brushing their lips together in a quick, gentle kiss. Glad he managed to get his doll back to her usual mood. the golden eyes stared for a second at the non-button eye and lifting her chin slightly upwards, he kissed her a second time, feeling her sweet and warm scent.
" That's my girl." He smirked while she smiled.
After a moment, Ragatha got up and reached down her hand for Jax. He didn't accept and got up by his own. Ugh, there was "her jerk" again. As they left the training room, Ragatha mentally noted herself to apologize to Able for breaking the punch back and asure him he could take the price from her paying check. She also had to apologize for little Pomni for being a bit cold towards her lately. The woman slipped into a long-sleeved jacket, as she was only wearing her black top and training shorts.
" I wait for you to change up. Hurry."
" Huh? Ah, no... I didn't bring my spare clothes. Guess the jacket will have to do." She blushed, as she didn't like going around with such short clothes. She saw the humanoid rabbit looking her from the top of her head to her toes. A disapproving expression took his face, what made her feel very embarrassed.
" I-i'm not that ugly." She pouted, crossing her arm.
" No one said you were ugly." His snarled
" I am pretty, then?"
" No one said that either."
" What are you looking, then?"
Jax didn't answer, starting to walk away.
" Hey!" Ragatha ran up to catch his pace. This guy was something she wouldn't comprehend no matter how much time they spent together.
Then she noticed whenever they past by someone, mainly by men, if they stared to her for more than 2 seconds, they'd receive a sour glare from her bunny friend.
" What about you, Jax? Aren't you jealous?" A curious tone weighed in her voice. After all, her boyfriend never opened up that much. A soft laugh came out from the rabbit, - " Nah." He said dismissively. - " You are a normal person, so you must feel it." - "I'm nothing like normal, Raggy." - " I guess I agree with this affirmation. "
She paused, trying to find the correct thing to say
- " But you are a human."
" What would I be jealous about?" Awkwardly, nothing would come to her mind. He was a pretty abnormal person, after all. He didn't seem to have any big dreams, desires... no specific hobbies, not even something he wouldn't shut up about. No... she couldn't recall Jax talking about something he wanted to do, a place he wanted to go, a movie he really loved. Nothing. All the things he did on the Fight Club were for pure curiosity, for the mere wanting to know of "what comes next?"
Even when they suddenly started to date... not that she doubt he had feelings for her, but instead of a confession, he asked her out like someone would invite a friend to have dinner. "Wanna go out with me or something?" were his words. Like, he wasn't sure he wanted that himself
And it was a bit sad.
The closest thing he ever said about a thing he wanted was when she wouldn't shut up about all the things that went on her mind. Mostly her dream to be a league champion. He would occasionally comment how he'd be there to make fun of her, drop her in the stage, ruin her photos. Almost like he only had any future plan with her around. Her heart started to pound a bit faster. She bitted her lip, walking just a little behind him
" And what about me?" The man stopped walking, turning slowly back. A twisted grin with a raised eyebrow painted his face.
" Get out of there."
It made the ragdoll laugh. She wasn't disappointed at all. Actually, it was exactly what she expected to hear from him.
" So, little Jax won't miss me when I become a champion? My attention wouldn't be much for you when that happens." She teased
" You aren't getting rid of me, champ." Smirked the rabbit
" Well, I'm just reminding you that I might stay away a lot, so you can be prep-" Ragatha couldn't finish her teasing as she felt a strong bump and lost the equilibrium, nearly falling to the side. If it wasn't for Jax grabbing her pulse.
" Hey, hey you!" Jax shouted to the man who just pushed off Ragatha. A guy which silhouette was composed by light bkue orbs, turned slightly back, looking completely unapologetic. By the way he was walking, they could tell he had a few drinks. For some reason, those were allowed in the Fight Club.
" Normally people say sorry when they just cause someone to fall." Ragatha hold herself from giving him a raised eyebrow as a reminder of the several times he accidentally stretched his dumb bunny foot in her front and made her fall, so she crossed her arms at the orbsman guy.
" She wouldn't get out of the way, and I'm in a hurry, bun." The man shrugged dismissively.
" You could've asked me... no need to push people like that..." Ragatha stated, hissing under her breath.
Upon this statement, the man then turned back completely to her, his eyes scanning the woman doll's body, as she wasn't holding the jacket firmly.
" Oh, you so right, pardon me, miss. How could I just make a lovely doll like you to fall like this?"
Ragatha flinched, feeling her face warm... a disgusted expression painted her face. Her brief shocked was replaced by a much bigger, as the man placed his hands on her shoulders
" Allow me to make up to you, okay? Would you like to-"
Ragatha couldn't never tell what else left his lips, even if she had an idea of what it might be. The world seemed like slow motion when she just saw Jax jumping like an animal on the orbsman throat. As much as she wanted to intervene, she couldn't.
A crew just started to show up like it was a settled fight and formed a circle, watching her boyfriend slamming the soul out of the fellow player.
Not long, one of the AIs, dressed as an officer ran to scence, throwing his partially munched donut away. Ragatha wasn't aware the Club had this type of AI, she felt like she was in a movie.
The poor officer AI wouldn't ever imagine he would also be target of Jax's misplaced anger. Furious for not being able to hit the man no longer, he started to kick, a very bunny like series of kicks over the poor officer. She'd laugh if she wasn't frightened. It was sorta cute. After explaining what happened, the police AI thing took the man who pushed her, she didn't understand exactly what was gonna happen to him, and she didn't care either.
" What do you think will happen to him? Is there any punishment for things like this here? " She sighed. The most they stayed there, crazier this place got.
" Whatever they do to him won't be any worse than what I would have done if that stupid AI piece of crap hadn't stopped me. "
" Stop it. Why are you always like that?" Sighed the red haired doll
" He infuriated me." The bunny whispered, hissing.
" He was drunk, Jax, he-"
" He touched you, woman! Can't you be mad at someone who harassed you?! Did you even hear what his little 'suggestion' of making up to you was?"
" I didn't, but-"
" I won't even repeat it. It was disgusting, okay?"
Silence remainded between them. Deepened on her thoughts.
Jax hadn't big dreams. But he'd support hers.
Jax didn't see her as a perfect princess, but he wasn't disappointed.
Jax was cool, laid back guy. Who wouldn't engage with nothing that demanded too much from him.
Yet he pratically slayed someone who disrespected her.
When she thinks about all things Jax was willing to do for her, only for her... she couldn't help, but to feel furious butterflies on her tummy.
" Guess it's normal too." She smiled to herself.