Work Text:
“It’s not going to take long.”
Erwin lights a cig. He only takes one drag before passing it to Levi. The both of them stay awake, looking at the ceiling. Erwin has his arm bent so Levi can use it as a pillow as he comfortably smokes in long, deep breaths.
“You just keep saying that.”
“I will make it up to you.” He replies quickly, with an audacity that actually provokes in him a snort full of irony. Erwin has that effect on him anyhow.
“Alright.” Levi lets his head fall back until he is not doing any kind of effort. The bicep underneath is enough to keep him warm. Safe.
“Alright? No more scowls or…?”
“Don’t test me, Smith.”
Levi hears his laugh even if it’s almost silent. Erwin does that a lot, keeping his giggles to himself. Although they are noticeable enough to induce the same reaction in him as a mirror.
“Just come back safely. Try to not get poisoned or whatever.”
“Why don’t you come with me? You could check on those issues personally.”
“Sure.” Levi says with sarcasm “Drag around your ward dog so everyone can be scared to get close. You wanted more funds, not less support than now.”
“I think you underestimate your own influence.” Erwin’s voice is low, calm. He usually speaks like that before falling asleep. “People look at you and…”
“And they shit in their own pants?” He interrupts, but Erwin just pauses before continuing.
“They feel safe. Hope, moreso.” Levi feels Erwin’s body moving to lay on his side, so he can put his eyes on him, his naked body, his trembling soul.
“Do they?” A cloud forms with his exhalation. Keep talking.
“You don’t have to do anything. There are tales about you already. About your strength. Your…” Erwin leans, voice in his ear. “Bravery.”
Levi suppresses a sound that comes from the depths of his throat. It’s embarrassing, the way his body comes with a reply so strong to any kind of gesture that Erwin does. It keeps happening more and more, each time they get close to each other, Levi becomes a puddle of gunpowder and Erwin is the fire. So reactive. So sensitive. He tries to inhale but the quick beat of his heart starts to annoy him.
“You have the record. More titans down than the entire list of soldiers together. More saved lives than anyone.” Erwin whispers his words, he knows exactly what he does. Levi lets him too. He closes his eyes with too much trust and it scares him.
“That’s bullshit.” Levi says, but his own voice is blurry with thoughts, with the beating of his heart galloping inside. Erwin has come closer, now caressing skin with his knuckles. Levi’s hand stays hanging out the bed, light dust spilling on the floor.
“No it’s not. It’s official.” Erwin kisses his cheek, softly, like a ghost. Levi has never seen a ghost. But he imagines how one would be. Light as a feather, clear as water. Almost as if it wasn’t there but its existence is not deniable. That’s how the next kiss goes, as Erwin doesn’t have enough with one time. His lips reach Levi’s, cold and parted, trembling with anticipation.
“That doesn’t mean anything” Levi says, for the sake of arge. He thinks he hears his own trembling, weak tone. Erwin sighs and the heat of his breath invades his lips and chin. Levi smells in it the sex from before, and the occasion before that. He thinks of his spit and the way it makes his lips glisten in the dark.
“It does. For the people.” Erwin bites his lip gently. Tugs at it, no force behind but gentleness. Levi can't take it without getting out of breath. He puts his face closer so they can kiss properly at the end, but he is still desperate when he takes the initiative, their teeth collide, it hurts inside the brain, his eyelids close forcefully. Erwin undoes the grip of his waist, takes him firmly by the hair instead to separate him. “It means something for everyone.”
The cig between his fingers is stolen and suffocated, all of it without Erwin losing the view of Levi, beautiful wrecked Levi.
“I don’t give a fuck. They’re just tales. Fantasy.” Levi can see multiple tones of blue caged on his eyes. “It doesn’t show or say the times other people have saved me so I can keep living.”
Erwin seems to think about it for a moment, looking at Levi’s face. Not a place in particular but every piece of it. The hand on Levi’s nape relaxes, fingers playing with black strands of hair between them. Just as the reins do to a horse.
“I suppose you’re right.” Erwin is still looking at him thoughtfully. “Compliments can make one forget about the circumstances. The chances of losing everything. Of course, you are capable of seeing that, and it's a talent by itself—
A pause, and then “—Not a talent, but a virtue. You have many.
Levi can feel himself blush. It creeps under his skin, blurring his senses. Erwin does that to him, caving inside his chaotic mind for words, words that penetrate anything, anyone. Levi is no different. Levi is flattered by words too, and it sucks.
“You don’t have to do that. I’m already in yer bed, charming motherfucker.” Erwin touches his skin distractedly as he listens. Levi likes his hands as much as he likes the sun beating his face during the evenings, when he sits on the roof to do exactly nothing more than exist. Above has its advantages, its marvelous things.
“I know, and I am enjoying it broadly.” Erwin it’s close. His face is close to Levi’s. “Am I not allowed to flirt with you anymore?”
He leaves a kiss on his cheek for the fifth time, and his thirsty mouth searches for other hidden places under his jaw, behind his ear. Levi moves against him as a snake, accommodating parts of Erwin inside his space. They squeeze together under the cold sheets, bad quality according to the military supply. But still, even with the malnourished bed it is at the perfect temperature. Levi makes a fist on it, mattress trembling under him.
“So much beauty.” Erwin murmurs against his neck, lapping enthusiastically at his pulsing carotid. “So many, many talents.”
Levi sighs too loud for his liking, but he can't stop. He doesn’t want to. He would like to open himself to Erwin, to just give up. The chances of being killed, abused, tortured are high. The opportunity of being harmed is always a possibility. But still. Still he does the thing, legs falling apart to cage a man between them. He does the thing his mother did, once, for survival. But Levi can survive without Erwin. He doesn’t need his stupid face around. He can live without those hidden, almost shy kisses, without a notorious reminder of his sexual tendencies of having a bigger man above, pounding inside his guts and skull even after the moon goes high in the sky.
Levi could keep going alone. But he simply doesn’t want to.
“I’m close.” Erwin murmurs against his cheek after a while, there’s spit and sweat scattered on his body and face. They have been moving against each other, pursuing. Levi feels the cold night against his boiling skin and shuts his eyes at the best fucking feeling of his cock sliding against Erwin’s. He’s very, very hard.
“You’re not even—inside.” Levi pants, tightening his grip on Erwin’s arm. The last word comes as a whisper.
“No need… fuck, I’m…” Erwin curses, and Levi perceive his entire body arching against his own, the feeling—the feeling of being trapped, suffocated with moans and tears. He can’t open his eyes yet, not if the other is looking at him already. He will finish so, so abruptly. Like an explosion.
“Erwin…” Levi calls him, mouth parted open, asking for a blind kiss. His movements become slower, waves of hips now getting calm, like something he knows but cannot name. The body throbs deliciously in another plane of his mind, one that is not present in the kiss they share under the night.
Levi was self conscious about kissing. He had never done such a thing by his own will. There were people who liked to do so without any reason in particular. Disgusting it is, for him, to share so willingly one’s body fluids. Even if it's for a favor, for money, for any imaginable reason. He would simply not do it.
That was before, of course. He was clowning himself now, parting his mouth desperately, longing for another one, and then another until he could feel his own lips exhausted, tingling with desire and forbidden, inconceivable words.
Erwin separates himself lightly to accommodate his weight, and licks his own lips while doing so. He looks like a god. Levi could adore him like one. He doesn’t even need to ask.
“Is this alright?” Levi nods, trying to control his breath. Erwin’s smirk maintains him awake.
“Yeah.” He replies out of breath, sucking at his own mouth.
“Do you want me to…?” Erwin puts a hand around himself. Levi presents his body as a reply, lifting his hips slightly, a situation they have been many times before. How many? Hard to say. How often? Everytime they can. The pressure on his body is always the same, as well as the sensation of having his blood boiling and sweating all over trying to get his muscles relaxed.
Erwin’s sweaty face, he drowns in a cobalt blue gaze that follows everything, every drop that slides against his forehead. A heated kiss on his cold lips, a blush creeping among his chest and neck. Pain escalates until it ceases to exist, reduces to a pinch in the guts and is replaced by some kind of heaven, made by some kind of god. Levi has never believed in such things but now, now he can pry and beg and bend over a bunch of hot, hot, flames to get it…
“Yes, yes, yes— Levi, yes!” Erwin’s voice fills his ears, expression clear even if Levi can’t reach the image of his face.
He will give it to me, he thinks deliriously as his heart escapes and gets away. Bit by bit, he can touch the place with his fingers, taste the foggy air of pleasure using hands and mouth and tongue. Tastes like honey. He bites Erwin’s collarbone, chases the river that is his neck, feels his beating heart against his own everytime their bodies get close enough to glue together and be one.
“Erwin.” His voice is tremulous, a bad performed song. Levi can’t control the muscles of his body as lightning comes and makes him shake in pleasure, escaping so far away from this world. The place he reaches is white, as tangible as touching the clouds. More specifically, he came in his own stomach.
“Levi…” Erwin pronounces lovingly against his forehead, leaving a messy kiss on his hair. It’s disgusting, smells like human bodies mixed together. It’s like a rebirth, he thinks to himself but the words don’t reach his mouth. He breathes deeply trying to calm himself.
“You haven’t…” Levi states, reaching for Erwin’s waist to get him closer. He is so pent up Levi feels sorry for him. His fingers around him close deliciously, the flesh pulsating against him it almost, almost brings his own boner back to life.
Erwin groans against him, pushes his hips forward against the heavenly hand. Levi looks marvelled at the movement of him, the grace of his thighs and abdomen that ripple around the cage that are his fingers.
“Oh… my… yes, my dear…” He murmurs between moans, voice low and deep. Levi replies to it with a caress on the crying head, pearls of precum sliding and mixing with his spit and almost wild lust. It’s so native, so instinctual, the way Levi’s eyes follow the curves of his majestic body to collapse on his blue lakes that try to stay open forcefully, by will they observe Levi with adoration, with longing.
“Cum in me, Erwin. Please” Levi feels him moving above him, towering over his body like a deity. He even puffs out his chest, giving himself to him, in more ways than one. Erwin observes him with mouth agape until he reaches the peak of his orgasm, spurs of semen reaching his nipples and planes, painting it. His expression became blessed after a while, relieved to an extent that nobody has seen before. Or that's what Levi likes to think about, as Erwin goes to lay by his side with his mouth searching for his lips.
A hand caresses his cheek as the last part of his soul gets sucked out of him, Erwin’s mouth devouring him gently, almost as if he was embarrassed to do it. But Erwin wasn’t like that, he was just being respectful. Levi gives his teeth and tongue either way, and it is probably the best sensation he had felt in thirty years, more or less.
They make out for a while with their eyes closed. Time passes beside them lazy but quickly like a leaf that flies over the air and reaches the end, one looking at the other with bright eyes and out of breath. It’s at that moment when, out of the blue, Levi remembers something.
“I think I was born in a time like this.” He pronounces, eyes following the window “It was cold.”
Erwin’s glacial eyes are positioned on the window too, for a moment, and then looks at Levi with a weird expression. “Do you mean something like December?”
Levi does not have any official register of his birth. He had been guided over the years by blurry memories and estimates over his teeth (Hange has the most weird ideas).
“I think so.” He replies with a blank expression, looking attentively at the ceiling as if his memories could be traced in a way over the rock relief. Erwin lets himself be used as a support, arm still under his head so Levi can be comfortable as he lays against his chest. “Maybe it's bullshit, but I think it was today.”
“Today…” Erwin licks his own lips, thinking. “December twenty five.”
“Yeah.” He blushes. It's embarrassing, not knowing one’s exact age when you (with high probability) reach your third decade, isn’t it? But Erwin cannot see his shame, or at least he doesn’t say a thing about it. He just stretches his long, solid legs and snuggles against Levi’s body like a cocoon.
“Thank you for telling me.” Erwin’s voice fills the darkness. Levi closes his eyes after he hears a happy birthday for the first time in his life.