Chapter Text
I couldn’t help but think that I should have been used to this type of pain.
My entire life had led me down a path that was packed with blow after tragic fucking blow. Happiness wasn’t a gift I seemed allowed to have, and any time an inkling of it showed up, something – God, fate, whatever there was out in the damn universe – barged into my life and took it right fucking back.
It should have been second nature at this point to feel this way… right?
That’s what I tried to tell myself, attempting to pull some sort of reasoning out of the numbing darkness swarming through my head. But there was no control there, no semblance of self-awareness or rationality, nothing to hold onto as I spiraled further and further into misery. There was only agony, manifesting itself in the form of wracking screams that were chafing the walls of my throat raw. They echoed around the Hexgate chamber and fled into the sky through that gaping hole we had created, only to be swallowed and muted by the clouds beyond it. One followed another, the chain unbroken and showing no signs of fading. I couldn’t stop them if I tried, and I felt myself begin to drop any effort to control them.
My fingers clenched harder on the lip of my chest plate, the metal pressing so jaggedly into the tendons that I was sure they would snap. The pain never registered, canceled out by the overwhelming ache bleeding from my chest to every extremity. The nails on my other hand dragged against the steel walkway where I had fallen with Vander.
No. Not Vander. A monster created by that bastard doctor and honed by Viktor.
I could feel the edges of those nails catching and chipping, creating cracks that split their way into the nailbed beneath. The sting added volume to my hoarse cries.
It felt as if I were being strangled from the inside out. There was a vice grip on my lungs, wringing them over and over until every wisp of breath had fled, leaving me to choke and gasp until another round of grinding sobs overtook me.
Always with you, sis.
“ Fuck,” I gasped, somehow managing to roll to my belly. I dragged my knees beneath me and pressed my weight onto my knuckles, teeth bared and chest heaving. Tears splattered against the beam, mingling with the scarlet puddles already left by my body.
“ Fuck!” The ache in my heart burned darker, leeching deep into every fiber of me. The outlet of my screams and howls was not nearly enough to satisfy the demand of my grief, and I found myself desperate for a way to vent the building emotions. I lashed out angrily, slamming my fist into the steel as hard as my weakened body would allow, grinding my bones into the metal over and over until flayed skin gave way to exposed tissues and the blood trickled between my fingers.
I stopped only then, my head dropping between my arms until my forehead met the bloody walkway. I clutched my hair, digging in until my scalp begged for relief, crying until my insides heaved and I couldn’t hold the contents of my stomach any longer. I felt it rising and just managed to hurtle to the ledge before vomiting, choking, and gagging until everything was emptied.
Then I collapsed, arms buckling beneath me so suddenly that I narrowly avoided falling from the walkway.
Just like Jinx and Warwick had done.
Panting heavily between the cries, I curled onto my side and wrapped my arms around myself, nails digging deep into my skin.
Everything began to shut down. I could feel it as it happened. Something in my soul cracked, leaving a gaping chasm of nothing where so much love and devotion had once resided – where my family had once been. I had nothing left, no family to call my own. They had been ripped from me again . If I had had any hope left before this godforsaken battle, it had been crushed between fate’s cruel hands.
A rattling shiver began in my core, trembling through me until my teeth started to clatter. My chest seized repeatedly, my diaphragm jumping with the pressure, trying so desperately to recover from the sobbing and screaming.
The darkness called out to me again, promising peace and emptiness if I would just give in. God, I wanted to give in. I wanted this clawing, monstrous grief out of my chest if it would spare me the torture of feeling its wrath.
I curled further into myself, hiccuping. I felt my eyelids drift open, everything bleary from tears. It almost felt as if someone had thrown sand into my eyes. I blinked the feeling away, lips parted as my screams devolved into softer, more manageable whimpers.
I stared at the ledge.
The ledge stared back at me.
I honestly had never thought about death any more profound than surface level. It had always been so present in my life, starting with Mom and Dad on that bridge and ending with my sister and Vander. But now, staring at that ledge, overcome with the looming fact that I was only here alone because of my own fucking mistake, I considered it thoroughly.
It would be easier to join them… right?
My lips peeled back from my teeth again when another choking cry slipped between the cracks in my composure, quickly spiraling out of control until I was curled so tightly into myself that my knees brushed my cheeks.
I pondered the thought of the ledge, of how easy it would be to pull my battered body over it and rid the world of my cursed existence, making it impossible for anyone else to fall so readily at my unknowing hand.
But I couldn’t make my arms move, couldn’t pull them from where they seemed to be glued across my abdomen. They gripped me as if they were holding me together… If I moved them, I would surely shatter beyond repair. No one would be there to pick up the pieces if I did.
No Vander to tell me off for blocking with my face.
No Powder to hug me and tell me how much she loved me, begging me to stay.
No Mylo to pester and tease me until it was impossible to be mad at him.
No Claggor to sit with me and listen to how I was feeling, offering his soulful advice that always helped.
No Loris to pull me out from the bottom of a bottle.
No Jinx to call me on my bullshit.
But my eyes widened when I realized I was so damn wrong.
Cait .
The stupidity I felt was instantaneous. Reason after reason to live and fight surged into me, overwhelming me with a feeling so bright that I could have sworn it burned.
“Shit!” I hissed, forcing my damned reluctant body to move and unfold.
Was she… alive?
She had to be.
I couldn’t consider the alternative without feeling the sickening urge to vomit all over again. No. She was alive. She was okay. I just had to find her, see her with my own eyes…
Swallowing, I tasted the salt of my tears and the tang of my blood as I gritted my teeth and pushed to my feet, determined to find a way out – but cried out and fell to my knees again when weight settled on my right leg. Blinding pain stabbed through my nerves, setting my hair on end and stealing my breath.
Broken? Fuck.
My jaw flexed uneasily. Holding my breath, I poked and prodded at my thigh, biting back the curses when I found the location of the wound.
“Probably just a fracture…” I muttered to myself, fighting to keep the fresh surge of tremors at bay. Brows furrowing, I staggered to my feet again, limping forward. The pain was unbearable, but I found myself not giving a single shit, using the less-than-pleasant sensation to keep me focused and awake. I had dealt with worse breaks in Stillwater. This was nothing compared to those.
I managed to shuffle to where Jinx had told me to jump to the opposite ledge, and I surveyed that gap now, groaning to myself. It was an easy enough jump on a good day, but with this broken leg and how damn close to passing out I felt…
I flexed my fingers methodically at my sides, the abrasions on my knuckles stinging in the breeze. Hissing through my teeth, I threw all caution to the wind and took it at a clumsy run, trying as hard as I could to plant as little weight as possible on my right leg. It still hurt like hell, but I pushed through it, thoughts of Cait being wounded – or worse – overriding the agony. She had to be okay. I couldn’t bear it if she left me, too.
I hit the ledge and leaped, pushing off with my left foot. I knew as soon as I left the ground that I was going to fall short, and my arms flailed frantically in the air until I collided with the other side, the stone slamming into my chest plate. The air was knocked from me with the impact, almost enough to distract me from the fact that I was sliding off the fucking ledge –
I scrambled for something, anything to grab onto, clawing at every tiny imperfection I felt sliding beneath my fingertips. I felt the hysteria deep in my belly, almost losing hope as I lost precious inches in the struggle. But suddenly, I felt and seized a piece of rebar jutting from a slab of stone that had originally been on the Hexgate’s outer wall. I flailed, managing to grab it with both hands, sucking in a sharp breath when the jagged material cut deep into the exposed portions of my fingers. I fought to hold firm, the image of Cait’s face front and center in my mind, driving and forcing me to dig past the pain and slowly drag myself up and over the crumbling stone. I toppled over myself, desperate to feel the solid ground beneath me, another yelp escaping my lips when my leg smacked against the concrete.
Dragging myself a decent distance away, I gasped for breath, tearing the chest plate off and throwing it. Clutching at the sweaty undershirt plastered to my skin, my mouth gaped as I struggled to breathe. I could feel unconsciousness tugging at me, my body finally succumbing to the strain of war. My lungs labored, but slowly and surely, I drew in more oxygen.
The relief further weakened my limbs. Wanting nothing less than to actually pass out, I tried to stand but found myself completely unable, too feeble and overwhelmed to move. The tremors flared again, rattling me as my vision rapidly blurred at the edges.
I gasped, trying to gather the strength to call Caitlyn’s name into the lonely chamber. It was useless. My voice was shot, reduced to a harsh whisper from screaming so loudly.
I could have sworn that the darkness smiled as it slithered into my ears, my eyes, and my mouth, incapacitating me and tugging me into reluctant unconsciousness. I barely registered my body hitting the concrete, the brief flash of pain from my leg… And then everything went black.
Caitlyn’s name remained poised on my lips as I slipped into nothing.
Caitlyn
I woke up in a cot, my eye and abdomen being tended to by a concerned medic.
It wasn’t a soft awakening. It was a jolt, an electric shock that set my mind on edge. I was instantaneously aware of everything that had happened before I lost consciousness. Before the medic could utter a word, I sat up, pushing his arm away and looking around. I didn’t even think about the incommodious state of my eyesight as I scanned the scene, making a reasonable effort to stay somewhat calm. Easier said than done when I considered how quickly my panic overtook me. It felt foreign. It rarely happened.
I seized the poor medic’s arm. “Is the battle over? Where’s Vi?”
His eyes widened nervously. “Y-yes, Commander, it’s over… We’re trying to tend to the dead and wounded.” His gaze shifted to the cots surrounding me, and the sound of the injured and dying suddenly filled my ears. He wrung his hands in his lap. “I apologize, but I don’t know who Vi is.”
Impatience lanced through me. I wondered if he could see it in my eye. “She has red hair. One side is shaved. Tattoos. She fights with the Hextech gauntlets?”
I could see that he was still confused. He looked as if he wanted to melt into the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m unaware of who she is, Commander, but I haven’t seen anyone fitting that description here.”
“Never mind.” I pushed him aside, climbing to my feet and ignoring his feeble protests.
The knife wound in my belly burned. I held myself straight despite it, brows furrowed. The medic tried to protest, motioning towards my abdomen, but his efforts were futile. Turning on my heel, I took off at a brisk walk, not even bothering to thank him. I couldn’t let him see how rattled I truly was.
I wove through enforcers, Zaunites, Noxians, and so many others, some calling out names, several holding what could only be dead friends or family, possibly lovers. No one paid me any mind, a fact for which I was incredibly grateful. I was having a difficult time as it was processing my surroundings and trying to gather myself enough to form a plan.
Pausing, I observed my surroundings and took in the information available. I was in the front courtyard of the main Hexgate where Mel and I had fought Ambessa. I had only been moved a few hundred feet from where I had fallen. That was likely my own bloodstain splattered on the cobblestone.
My thoughts buzzed in my head, compounding the headache I could feel building behind my wounded eye.
Focus.
I had assigned Vi and Loris to a higher vantage point near the middle of the Hexgate, an idea I had not been fond of but deemed necessary. She had fought me on that, of course…
I thought about how her steely eyes had blazed so violently, the way they do when she’s ready to pick a fight. Her voice had been low so as not to alarm the people around us.
“You’re crazy if you think I’m not fighting alongside you in this, Cait.”
“I don’t think , I know .” My brows were set in a morose way. I felt the strongest urge to touch her face and reassure her. Reaching forward, I busied myself with tightening the leather strap of the chest armor at her shoulder instead, trying to focus. Before she could interrupt, I continued. “Several of the people in your unit are inexperienced and scared, Vi.”
“And how am I supposed to help with that?” Her arms gestured upwards in exasperation, but I noted how careful she was not to push my hands away from her.
I tilted my head slightly, meeting her eyes. “You’re the boldest and bravest person I know, Violet. And that bravery?” I fully clipped the chest armor into place, allowing my fingertips to drift and linger at the base of her jaw. “It’s… contagious. Just having you and Loris lead them will bolster their own courage.”
I could see her processing my words, her face falling slightly. “But… Cait…”
I knew what she was trying to say. I could almost feel the intense worry emanating from her.
She wanted to protect me.
Always the protector. Never the protected.
Sliding my hand behind her neck, I twined my fingers into her hair and pulled her in. She didn’t hesitate before reaching up to cup my face as she had so many times before, eyes dark with deep-seated fear. Our foreheads touched, and we remained there, eyelids drifting shut, breath intermingling. The air between us thrummed with anticipation and dread.
It was interesting how vibrant and new this intimacy felt with Vi. There had always been an undeniable attraction to her, one that pulled me so intensely that I had no choice but to stumble and fall head over heels. But now that this attraction had been fully recognized, accepted, and acted upon by both of us, it had me flat on my face and almost unable to function.
From now on, a life without Vi would not be acceptable under any conditions. That much was clear.
“I’ve lost everyone…” she murmured, echoing her words from earlier that day, and I felt her thumb trace a light circle against my cheek. “I can’t…
I pressed my forehead harder into hers, gripping her hair tightly. “You won’t lose me, Vi. I swear it.” The conviction in my voice was absolute.
I was surprised when she took another step forward and kissed me, oblivious to the people around us. It was instantly electric and consuming. I wanted nothing more than to whisk her away from all of this, to run away where we could hide and never be discovered.
A beautiful dream, really. But war left no room for dreams.
When she pulled back all too soon, I felt the bitter sting of heartbreak. Her hands slid down my arms and into mine, clasping them together momentarily. “We’ll get through this.” Her voice lacked the conviction mine had, but her eyes told me that she would cling to that promise.
I nodded, suddenly overcome by emotion and unable to speak. I fought the tears back, holding to my image as a strong, immovable leader.
But Vi always managed to see straight through the facade. She reached for me again, and I could tell she was trying to find words. Before she could get anything out, Mel appeared from the crowd beside us, anxious and eager to discuss our strategies for fighting her mother.
Squeezing Vi’s fingers one last time, I had given her a curt nod and left her to get the gauntlets ready. I could feel her watching me as I left the room.
Now, searching this decimated battlefield anxiously for her, I could hardly stand the terror gripping my chest. I had promised her that she wouldn’t lose me, but I hadn’t stopped to consider what would happen if I lost her . She was so strong, a pillar of strength in this hectic world of mine. It had never seemed possible for her not to come out standing.
And now I stood here, trembling, trying to ignore the thought of my life if she came out of this dead. I swallowed, ignoring that thought. Storming onward, I seized the arm of a nearby enforcer, who was busy barking out orders.
“Have you seen Councilor Medarda?”
The enforcer straightened and saluted. “Commander! Yes, she’s just inside.” She pointed to the doors of the Hexgate. “I believe she’s helping transport the wounded.”
I was already walking that way, gripping my side when the pain flared. I pushed through the chaos at the front doors, suddenly hating how far I had to turn my head to see over my left shoulder. I raised my hand instinctively to brush at my eye but jerked back when I touched the gauze and felt the sting. Gritting my teeth, I was shoving my way through the crowd when I spotted a glint of gold down the hall. Relieved, I made my way to her, sidestepping the bodies still littering the floor. When I finally made it to Mel, I was panting with exertion.
She noticed me instantly. “Caitlyn!” Her eyes widened, hands settling lightly on my shoulders. “You shouldn’t be up. You need to rest. You do realize you’ve been stabbed, yes?”
I ignored that. “I can’t find Vi. Have you seen her?” My anxiety was beginning to breech a critical threshold. I felt as if the world was closing in on me.
Mel’s brows furrowed slightly. “No, I haven’t. I haven’t found Jayce, either…” She trailed off, her hands slipping from my shoulders.
“How long has it been since I fell unconscious?” I demanded, my concern deepening.
Mel eyed me, folding her arms across her belly. “About an hour. Not long.”
“But Vi still hasn’t shown up?” I tried not to sound desperate, but my voice cracked on her name.
A solemn shake of the head from Mel. I saw the flicker of pity in her expression.
The tightening in my chest threatened to send me to my knees. My mind flipped through the many possibilities, assessing and analyzing. “Where is Jinx’s balloon?”
Mel was quick to answer. “I’ve heard from several witnesses that it crash-landed on top of the Hexgate. It must be in the structure itself. No one has been up to investigate yet – it’s been too busy down here. Witnesses also claim they heard a massive explosion go off up there a moment after the hexcore monsters fell.”
“I need to get up there.” My voice was much stronger than I felt. Jinx had joined in, which meant Vi would have fought with her. I had been too distracted with Ambessa to notice, but I knew, deep down, that sister followed sister.
I felt relief when Mel didn’t argue. “We’ll need to find a different way up,” she reasoned, tapping her chin thoughtfully, “because of the elevators. They were rendered inoperable after the damage taken during the fight.”
I didn’t hesitate. “I’ll take the stairs.”
“Absolutely not. You lost your eye and took a knife to the stomach, Caitlyn.” She didn’t mince words.
“I don’t care. I have to find her.” I was already trying to shove past her, determined to find the stairs.
At that moment, a yell sounded from the doors I had entered a moment before. “Commander Kiramman! Councilor Medarda!”
I stopped in my tracks, as did Mel, and we both looked through the crowd to the entrance. An enforcer was pushing through the people, who hastily made way. Trailing behind him was a familiar face: Vi’s friend and leader of the Firelights, Ekko. He was limping, clutching that hovering device under one arm. I hadn’t seen him enter the fight but figured he had arrived with Jinx.
Hope jumped in my chest. The throng parted for me, and I met the duo halfway, dismissing the enforcer with a nod. “Ekko,” I greeted, laying a hand on his shoulder, “I can’t thank you enough for your assistance. Without you – without Jinx – I don’t think I’d be here.”
His eyes dropped to the floor, devastation flickering across his face. “I don’t need your gratitude.” I watched as he steeled himself, meeting my gaze. “You need to come with me. It’s Vi.”
My knees threatened to buckle. I almost couldn’t form the words I needed to say. “Is… is she…”
“Alive.” He confirmed it with a slight nod but looked to the floor again. “But she’s not… doing well. She’s pretty beat up, and…” His jaw flexed. “I think she needs you.” His words were choked as if he were close to tears.
It felt as if my heartbeat would thud straight through my ribcage, the relief so palpable I could have cried. “I’m trying to get there. I was about to take the stairs.”
Ekko looked me up and down, and one eyebrow ticked upward. His guard dropped ever so slightly. “No offense, but I think we’d be better off taking my ride.” He motioned to the hoverboard device. “You wouldn’t make it far.”
I nodded in agreement, seizing his arm and surging towards the door. “Take me, then.”
Vi
When Ekko left, promising to bring help, I hadn’t acknowledged him. I barely had the energy to open my eyes when he had shaken me awake, yelling my name so desperately that my heart had broken all over again at the fear in his voice. It reminded me of when he was little, of how painful it must have been to lose all of us – especially Benzo – all within the same day.
That was the only thing that genuinely woke me. I didn’t have the heart to leave him alone.
He had begged me to come with him, begged to know where Jinx had gone, but I felt rooted to this spot and incapable of any sort of speech.
But I owed it to him to tell him where she was, and when the strangled “dead” left my lips, he staggered back in disbelief, dropping his board. I had to fight not to curl in on myself again when I heard him cry, begging repeatedly through his sobs for me to just fucking get up and go with him.
But I was not worth the effort he offered. If I went with him, something would happen to kill him and take him from me, too.
Powder was never the jinx. I was. Everyone I cared about or tried to protect ended up dead or worse. Vander’s fate had been worse… So much worse.
The anxiety I felt from not knowing Caitlyn’s whereabouts was dampened by the haze shrouding my mind. I drifted meaninglessly, the throbbing in my leg anchoring me to dull awareness of my surroundings. I could hear the air rushing through the valves down below and feel the vibrations in my body from where I lay. They lulled me, urging me to fall back asleep and forget this hell.
I heard the familiar sounds of Ekko’s board right as I was beginning to drift off again. I squeezed my eyes tighter, curling further within myself. I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t want him to save me. I –
“ Vi !”
I had never snapped to sit upright so fast in my damn life. I struggled, arms wobbly under me, but managed to get to my left knee, my other leg dragging behind pathetically. Running on it had been a fucking mistake – it hurt so much more now. But that didn't matter because she was here , jumping down from Ekko's board before he could even land, stumbling when she hit the ground. She ran to me, and I was convinced I had never seen someone more beautiful in my life. I checked her over briefly before she reached me, noting the patch across her left eye and the bandage around her torso seeped scarlet. There was dried blood all over her, smeared over her neck, face, and armor.
But she was alive .
Emotion swelled anew in my chest. Tears sprang to my eyes as she slid to her knees in front of me and yanked me into her arms, clutching me to her as she began to cry. Her cheek pressed flush to mine. I could feel her tears falling to my skin.
I had no hope of controlling myself and broke down with her, my emotional walls toppling as her comfort flooded me with warmth. I hugged her back, getting as close as I could manage with the awkward angle of my body. I pressed my face into her neck. I could smell the blood and sweat on her and wondered what she had been through in these last few hours.
After a moment, I met Ekko’s eyes over Cait's shoulder. He looked terrible. Smiling at me sadly, he murmured, “I'll give you two a minute. I'll go find Scar so we can get both of you out.” He motioned to Cait. “She was threatening to take the stairs. Don't let her near them.”
His teasing tone was strained, and I ached for him. “Thank you,” I answered, my voice breaking. "So much, Ekko.”
He left without responding. I couldn’t blame him, and I wouldn’t.
We were both hurting. Her absence was poignant.
When the sound of his board finally drifted into nothing, I pulled away from Cait just far enough to see her face, cupping it in one hand. Slowly, gently, I brushed my fingertips along the gauze on her eye with all the force of a feather. “What happened?” I could only manage a hoarse whisper.
She brushed the hair from my face, then held my arm gingerly in her fingertips. “Brawl with Ambessa,” she stated simply, a slight frown pulling her eyebrows together. “It was a necessary sacrifice.”
A fierce, protective rage flared up in my gut. “ Sacrifice ?”
She merely nodded. “If I hadn’t taken that chance, Mel and I would likely be dead.”
A sick feeling swelled in my stomach. I dropped my hand from her face. “And this?” I skirted my fingertips along the bandage on her abdomen, withdrawing quickly when she flinched. The blood left residue on my fingers, and worry took over my anger.
“I got overconfident during the fight. She happened to be carrying a knife that I hadn’t noticed.”
I gaped at her. She said it as if Ambessa had poked her with a damn paperclip . “Let me get this straight – You lost your eye and got stabbed, and you were trying to hike the stairs in this building?”
Her eye flashed dangerously as she leaned forward, halting within a few inches of my face. “Yes, Vi, I was – because I certainly had no inkling as to whether you were alive or dead, and I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for someone to find you for me.”
I was ready to retort, to lash out at her for not being careful enough when so obviously injured, but she surprised me by wrapping her arms around my shoulders and hugging me again.
I couldn’t help but melt into her, so relieved that she was alive.
“What’s wrong with your leg?” She questioned into my hair, her thumbs rubbing soothing circles into my shoulders. “And what happened up here, Vi?”
I pulled away gently, this time far enough to sit properly without hurting my leg. She helped me, gripping my shoulders until I was stable. Then she sat back, a battered hand resting on my uninjured leg.
I stared at my clenched fists in my lap, fixated on the open wounds decorating my knuckles. I clenched my jaw over and over again, trying so hard to find the right words without breaking down, without emptying this poison rotting and overflowing in my system.
As I failed again and again to begin, Caitlyn scooted closer. It was she who cupped my face this time, tilting my head to meet her gaze. She wore an expression of such gentle concern and genuine caring that it would have been easier to look straight at the midday sun. It unlocked something deep inside me, and I couldn’t have held it in if I wanted to.
“It should have been me, Cait.” As soon as the shuddering murmur was out, my lips parted in a sharp inhale, and I felt ready to drown again. “Vander was here.”
I saw the surprise on Cait’s face.
“He was… different. He was like the other Hexcore monsters.” My sentences were choppy and peppered with pauses. “There was nothing left of him. Just that… that empty shell !” I spat out the word, teeth bared. “He jumped onto Jinx’s balloon. Ekko and I rushed to help, but we crashed.” I motioned up to the wreckage around us. “Vander caught Jinx and me after Jayce got dragged through here by some advanced Hexcore monster. Next thing I knew, we were falling. Vander and I landed on that.” I pointed to the torn-up walkway from which I had jumped. “Broke my leg, I think… The beam was unstable, and Jinx… She told me to – to run. Jump to the other side.”
My chest suddenly constricted so tightly that I couldn’t speak for a moment. Hysteria bubbled up in me. Breaking away from Caitly, I forced myself to stand, ignoring her sound of protest, raking my fingers through my hair and limping away heavily. “I made the fucking wrong choice again , Cait!” I laughed, the sound ricocheting through the dome. “All I wanted was two fucking seconds to mourn my dead father. Two seconds!” My nails dug into my neck. “But his damn body wasn’t dead, and it decided to kill me when I chose to grieve instead of listen to my sister!”
I stared up at the balloon, at the neon paint decorating every inch of it. “She jumped for me, Cait. She knocked that monster off the edge and fell off with it.”
My lip quivered. Hot tears burned tracks down my face.
“I caught her with the gauntlet.” I looked at the hand that had held hers. “But the monster wouldn’t let go, and Powd – Jinx… She knocked the hex gem out of the gauntlet and fell with it.”
I looked down into the abyss of tunnels and shafts beneath us, charred by the bomb Jinx had unleashed.
“ Now I’ve truly lost everyone.”
I stopped at the edge, still holding the back of my neck. Scoffing, I dug my nails into my skin until I felt it break. “I should just fucking jump.”
I heard her footsteps before her hands seized my shoulders and spun me around. I felt a searing pain in my chest as I met her eye, fighting to contain sobs that strained against the back of my teeth.
“Vi,” she stated, eye blazing, “don’t you ever say that about yourself. Ever.”
I fought weakly to pull away, but she held me fast.
“Do you know what I was thinking about while I sat there, on my knees, a knife in my stomach, knowing I was about to die?”
“Don’t,” I whispered, pleading.
“I can, and I will .” She retorted, absolute. “I was thinking about you , Vi. Your eyes. Your face. Your hands. Your strength. The way you look at me. The way you smile. How fiercely you care.”
I ached. There was not a part of my body that didn’t hurt, but my heart burned worst of all. “ Why ?”
“Because I have spent every moment of every day since we met thinking of you. Because you have absolutely captivated my entire being since the moment I approached your cell at Stillwater.”
I didn’t resist when Cait pulled me to her. I felt her arms wrap around my shoulders, her fingers dig into my hair, and I melted into it. I couldn’t speak. There was no way I could muster any strength to argue.
“You are special, Vi. You are so dear to me. I…” I heard her breath catch. “I was beside myself when I woke up and discovered that you were nowhere to be found.” I felt her press a kiss to my head, shy and gentle. New. “When I considered the possibility that you hadn’t made it, I… well.” She cleared her throat. “I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to go on.”
She stepped back, pulling me with her away from the ledge. Then, she fell silent. I thought she was done, but was surprised when I felt her arms trembling around me. Her shaky breath brushed my ear. Concerned, I retreated a bit, looking up at her.
She met my eyes, new tears pooling at the bottom of her eyelid. Her breathing became haggard. “Please. Don’t leave me again. I can’t lose you.”
I felt something in me break. The heartbreak and loss in Cait’s voice were absolutely gut-wrenching, and I instantly felt terrible for inflicting any sort of pain on her. Hesitation be damned, I stepped forward and kissed her, intent on wiping that expression from her face. Our lips met gently and fervently, conveying so much between us with no words spoken. I skimmed her bottom lip with my tongue before breaking contact, pulling her to me this time and holding her close. I leaned against the wall, brushing my lips against her neck before gathering my words.
“I’m sorry, Cait. I won’t say that again.” I squeezed my eyes shut, holding her close and focusing on her heartbeat.
She didn’t answer for a moment. I thought that she was simply biding her time, searching for words, but I suddenly felt her begin to go limp against me.
“Cait?!” I pushed her back, holding her face and cursing when I saw how pale she was.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, a small smile turning the corner of her mouth, “I’m just feeling a little faint.”
“ Fuck, ” I bit out, looking at the wrappings around Cait’s torso.
The blood was dripping down her hips, falling erratically and pattering to the floor.
“ Shit shit shit shit – Cait, don’t fall asleep, okay? Ekko and Scar will be back any second.” My system was blasted with a shot of violent adrenaline, waking me to action. Wrapping one of her arms around my shoulders, I put her weight on my good leg. “Why didn’t you tell me you were bleeding that badly?”
Cait shrugged against me, her complexion alarming. “I had more important things to say.”
I scoffed, hobbling the best I could to where Ekko had landed earlier. I bit back curses with every step I limped on my wounded leg. “I think you’re more important than that, Cupcake.”
“You are what’s important to me,” she responded, glancing at me. I didn’t miss the blush on her cheeks when she heard her nickname. “I wanted you to know what got me through that fight with Ambessa.”
“Is that all?” I teased through my pain, trying to get a rise out of her and keep her conscious.
She was the one who scoffed this time. “‘Is that all?’” She mocked me, her accent impressively accurate.
Despite everything, I smiled, chuckling under my breath. Looking at the gaping hole in the Hexgate, I sighed in relief when Ekko and Scar flew through it at that exact moment, flying straight for us.
“This is a two-way thing, Cait,” I murmured, squeezing her fingers in mine. “I can’t lose you, either.” I gritted my teeth when another swell of grief seized my heart. “Promise?”
Caitlyn’s head drifted, landing on my shoulder. She was vapid, far too weak for my liking, but she was still awake. Through her labored breathing and the sound of Ekko and Scar landing, I managed to hear her respond. “I think I love you far too much to ever even think of leaving you, Violet.”
Had sweeter words ever been spoken?