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“See,” Cady says, “this is the problem.”
“Caddy…”
“No, no. Don’t Caddy me. We’re sloppy, and we’re losing because I’m not fast enough.”
She drops the helmet on the bench, angrily sitting down.
She knows it’s her fault too. After all, there isn’t much ice in Kenya. But she’s trying, she’s really trying, yet the team sucks. She doesn’t want to win, she would be glad to at least not be the worst team ever. To not make a fool of herself each time the team does as much as stepping into the ice rink.
“Cads, we were never a good team.” Janis awkwardly puts a hand on her shoulder. “And I know it’s frustrating, but you’re doing really well. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”
Cady bites back a that’s easy to say, but decides against it.
“I’m going home,” Janis says simply. “Do you want a ride?”
“No, thanks, I’ll stay here.”
“Okay, but really. This isn’t a big deal.”
Cady nods and gives a half smile, but she can’t shake this feeling off. She needs to be better. It’s not a matter of what she wants anymore. And she knows, this is not a big deal, and she’s on the mathletes so any university admission letter is probably going to depend on that and not this, but still. She’s competitive, as much as she tries to bury that deep inside herself, she is. She can’t quite help it.
She toys with her hockey stick while her eyes look back to the rink. It’s early enough that no one without an actual goal —like hockey or figure skating— is going to be up, sliding across the ice.
There are some kids younger than her learning to pivot, and a few figure skaters who jump and spin around the ice.
There’s a particular one she has seen a few times.
Her hair is always perfect, and Cady is a little jealous of that. She’s always put together, with the perfect tights and the perfect make up and all her looks seem color matching to an extreme degree, as if she owns everything in every shade of pink and knows exactly how to mix and match.
But the thing that catches Cady’s eyes the most, is how precise her movements are. Her spins always end flawlessly, her arms making a perfect line, her shoulders far from her ears. If she ever confuses a step or feels frustrated, Cady is almost sure she’ll never be able to tell, because she makes it all seem so effortless, her face always stone cold, not betraying any emotion.
Almost like reading Cady’s mind, she executes a perfect spin, quickly positioning herself to make the next move in whatever routine she seems to be doing.
“She’s amazing, isn’t she?”
“Huh?” Cady looks startled for a moment. She briefly considers to pretend like she wasn’t obsessively watching her, but whatever. She has been caught already. “She really is.”
“I haven’t seen you around here much before,” the guy says. He’s tall but muscular, his hair short and blonde. “I’m Shane.”
“Cady.”
“Well, nice to meet you, Cady.”
xx
Her name is Regina George. It’s not difficult to find out, just a quick Google search.
Her social media seems like it was pretty active, at least once upon a time. The posts abruptly stop, with the last being published about two years ago. There are photos of her with two soloists Cady has seen around a few times, but none of them on the ice. Which is a stark contrast to most of the other skaters she knows, who post about every competition they are on.
(And Cady has to admit, she’s also guilty of it. Her instagram can be divided into photos of lions and photos of ice hockey, and she’s not a bit ashamed about it.)
The videos on YouTube show a younger Regina, spinning with perfect speed and grace, and most importantly, technique. Impeccable crossovers, forward and backward. Ballet jumps, catch-foots, camel positions. One after the other, a testimony of agility and elegance, of knowing what she was doing. Natural talent and clearly hours of training.
There’s one with way more views than the others, it’s from another competition, two years ago.
It starts like all the others, Regina starts the choreography, some classical song Cady has no idea the name of. She does crossovers as if she was easily walking, then a jump and a spin, perfect three turn loops to gain speed for another spin. She arches her back and catches her foot, but suddenly lets it go, falling backwards, hitting the ice with her spine which was overextended to begin with.
Cady doesn’t search for more videos after that one.
xx
She’s back on the ice in the morning. She knows Janis told her not to worry too much about it, but she can’t let it go.
The team isn’t there yet, and probably won’t be for a few more hours. Sarah has drama club early, and Janis is not a morning person. Cady doesn’t think she has seen Sophie getting early to practice ever, which makes her angry. Sure, Sophie is not the worst of them, but she could use some extra practice.
Cady is still tying her skates when Regina starts skating. Next to her is Shane, and they start to practice. They start with a few forward crossovers together, perfectly synchronized, before they start doing turns and backward crossovers. It’s mesmerizing to watch them together, almost as if they were one, coordinating each other with quick head movements, almost knowing what the other is thinking.
If only Janis and her could have that ability to know what the other is going to do, anticipate movements, not shout at each other across the ice.
She needs help, and she needs help from them. And she’s not going to let being too prideful ruin her chance to at least win one game this season. She isn’t asking for much, just one game.
So why does her heart feel like it’s beating faster as she approaches where Regina and Shane are skating.
“Oh, Cady, hey!” Shane half-shouts, holding an arm up.
“Hey,” Regina says, as she looks her up and down. Cady feels like she’s judging her, no, she knows that Regina is doing exactly that. But that’s not necessarily bad, right?
“Hi, I’m Cady,” she introduces herself, extending a hand for Regina to shake.
She does exactly that, holding her hand tight and firm.
“Regina.”
“How’s it going?” Shane asks her.
“Bad,” she admits. She knows she has to ask Regina, now, before her cowardice wins. Cady Heron has played with lions and lived in a tent, she cannot be a coward. “I was wondering if you could help me one day, you’re really good. And fast. And I could really use that.”
Regina looks almost taken aback, not answering, before saying, “Let me think about it.”
xx
Regina isn’t on the ice the next day, nor the day after.
It’s three days later when she shows up, late, almost after the end of practice. It is unusual, Cady has mostly seen her during the morning, figure skaters rarely stay late. The ice gets way too many uneven places at this hour, which is inconvenient for them. But it is unmistakable Regina with her bright pink skate covers over already pink skates, the ponytail, the pink puff jacket. But she doesn’t go on the ice, no.
She says on the bleachers, arms crossed, staring at Cady.
Cady tries not to be nervous, tries not to fuck up. Does a few tentative crossovers, before hearing Janis shouting at her and quickly moving forward, hitting the puck with a little too much force, making it escape her and quickly move towards Taylor, which was the opposite of what she was supposed to do.
She groans, and tries to move quickly towards her, trying to swipe the puck away, to at least correct her own mistake. She doesn’t make it on time, instead Taylor’s shot is blocked by Sophie, and Cady is glad that at least their goalkeeper doesn’t suck like she does.
It’s after the training when Regina finally comes back to the ice, arms still crossed, as the slides in front of Cady.
“I’ll help you,” she says easily. “Tomorrow, after practice.”
“I can’t stay after practice, I have mathletes,” she explains quickly. Regina rolls her eyes, so Cady adds, “but I can skip. Ms. Norbury won’t be upset if I skip once.”
“Good,” Regina finishes. “See you tomorrow. And don’t bend so much.”
“It’s better for balance,” Cady answers, trying to straighten her spine.
“Fine, stay mediocre.”
That seems to have an immediate effect on Cady, who quickly extends her spine and legs, almost losing balance for a second before recovering quickly. God, can she make more of a fool of herself? Regina at least seems pleased by Cady’s obedience and gives something that almost resembles a smile.
“See you tomorrow,” she repeats.
xx
“Are you sure you want her help?” Janis wonders before she leaves the ice rink. “I heard she’s like a life ruiner or something. Apparently she purposefully tripped one girl because she was better than her.”
That… doesn’t quite help Cady’s nerves.
Regina seems strict, and it makes sense. Training and discipline are needed, despite raw talent. Cady lacks both. She’s sometimes clumsy and she’s a little scared of falling. And she honestly wants this to go right. But Regina wouldn’t have accepted if she wasn’t willing to teach, right?
Regina arrives perfectly on time. Her hair is tucked in a dutch braid, and most of her outfit is black instead of pink. Cady notices a half gold chain, half pearls necklace with an R that sits perfectly around her neck, and wonders if Regina is ever badly dressed. If she has an infinite amount of clothes and accessories.
After a few pleasantries, and saying goodbye to Janis, Cady asks, “How do you want to do this?”
“I think you should start skating, I’ll tell you what to do better,” Regina offers, and Cady nods.
She starts doing crossovers, and Regina tells her don’t move your body so much, and then bend your knee. Cady does it, yet Regina tells her more. And more, and more, and she feels ridiculously close to falling when Regina reminds her don’t slouch. It comes to a halt when Regina says extend your arm, and Cady does it and falls, her butt hitting the ice.
“Do you just enjoy telling me I suck at this?” Cady asks, in a sudden bout of rage. “Because if that’s all you’re going to do, then I’m out.”
“No, Cady, wait,” Regina stops her. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. You don’t suck, you just need more training. But you’re going to be good, because you clearly enjoy it enough to spend a lot of time here, way too much time probably. I didn’t want to discourage you, really.”
“Fine,” Cady tells her, still a little stiff from the fall.
“Here, let me help you.”
Regina moves closer to her, holding her waist for a moment, positioning it, before moving her hands to Cady’s hips. Cady’s breath is caught in her throat for a second, and she wonders if Regina notices it, but she says nothing except a whispered try again in her ear. It brings goosebumps down her spine and she wonders if she’s going to be able to do it, having her so close.
She slides first, and before she does the crossover, Regina corrects the movement on her hip. Then again, and again, and then she lets her go. Cady tries to replicate the same muscle movement Regina forced on her, not letting her hip get too high. It’s good, it helps. She feels as if she’s gaining a little more speed, with a little less effort. She does a T stop, and turns to Regina.
“Better, right?”
Regina nods. “You just have to trust yourself, okay?” Cady nods, giving a half smile. “When’s your next game?”
“Two weeks,” Cady says.
“Great, we have time. Now, continue doing crossovers forward. And really, try to bend your leg a little more. You’re not going to fall. But you’re short, your strides need to widen if you want more speed, and the only way to do it is to get down. Just try doing it little by little, at least.”
Regina’s tone is a little condescending, but she’s right. What she’s saying makes total sense. Cady continues to skate doing crossovers, going lower and closer to the ice. It’s scary, but she doesn’t lose her balance.
“Try to put your knee in front of your foot. It’s going to worsen your balance but allow you to move your hip more freely. Remember that you do crossovers with the bottom part of your body, the top does not move.”
Cady follows, and for a moment she believes she’ll fall again, but then she finds her balance again.
xx
Regina is on the ice, practicing with Shane in the morning. He lifts her up, and they repeat the step a few times, until Regina looks more confident. Shane lifts her up again, but this time he throws her with a little force, allowing Regina to move faster as soon as she reaches the ground. He quickly catches with her and they slow down.
“Cads,” Shane greets her. “Reg tells me you’ve been doing a lot of crossovers. How’s your ass?”
Regina elbows him, without much force, but Shane looks at her offended.
“Everything hurts,” Cady admits, with a laugh. “Are you two over? I can wait.”
“No, we’re done here, I’ll leave you two to keep practicing,” Shane says. “Good luck, Cady.”
“Thanks.”
Cady watches him kiss Regina’s temple and murmur something into her ear before getting off the rink.
“Are you two dating?”
“No,” Regina says, followed by a quick succession of, “no, no, no. I’m gay.”
“Oh. Grool. I’m bi.” She flinches almost as soon as she says it. Why does she have to make everything awkward? “What do we have for today?”
“Which position are you playing?” Regina asks.
She crosses her arms again, which seems to be a habit. She’s always in a perfect line, her body tall and long. She never slumps, never crocks down. Cady is a little embarrassed about how much time she spends looking at her, but that’s not her fault.
(It’s just about skating, right?)
“Defender,” Cady answers.
“Okay.” Regina seems deep in thought for a moment, then asks, “how long have you been playing?”
“A year. I started as soon as I moved here, I used to live in Kenya,” she explains. It’s the same explanation she has given to everyone else for the past year, to explain why she doesn’t have a license yet, or why she isn’t quite sure of certain rules.
“Kenya, impressive.”
Cady gets flustered. “How long have you been skating?”
“Twelve years,” Regina says. “My mother signed me up and I just never stopped.” Almost as if noticing what she has said, Regina tries to change the topic, “You don’t need to just be fast; you need to also think fast. Be able to sweep the puck. Be fast and think fast.”
The ice during the morning, especially so early, is different. It’s perfectly even, easier to slide across, and it’s only Regina and her now that Shane has left, which allows them to cover all of the rink. Regina decides that the easiest training is playing tag, to help Cady think fast but also practice her crossovers and hockey stops.
Catching Regina is basically impossible. She’s taller than Cady, therefore faster, and for the first few moments she keeps telling Cady what to do. Bend her knees, straighten her ankle, where to put her weight. After a moment, she gets the hold of what Regina was asking her to do, and starts planning more on how to catch her. She needs strategy.
Regina runs to the left, as Cady turns to the right, doing a quick hockey stop and turning to her, catching her just barely, her fingers stretching and then securing itselves around Regina’s waist.
“Not half bad,” Regina admits, smiling at her.
Cady believes this is the first time Regina actually smiles at her.
The look of delight is adorable in her, and Cady can’t help but notice some faint freckles on the top of her nose that she had never noticed before. Maybe because she has never been this close to Regina before. Cady can feel her own heart beating faster, and her brain getting suddenly clouded.
(And for a moment she’s confused. Then it hits her. She feels stupid for not seeing it sooner. Stupid with love.)
xx
It has taken her long enough, but on Sunday, everything hurts.
From the top of her head to the last of her toes, everything is sore, and maybe a little bruised. Her ankles are swollen and her muscles are screaming. At least they don’t have training today, which is good.
Good because her body can’t probably take more training, and good because she doesn’t think she can face Regina without melting all over the ice.
If it was only a dumb, oh my she’s so talented, kind of crush she could deal with it. But she knows herself, been there before, when she falls in love she simply gets all stupid and mushy. And Regina is gay, but still, Cady doesn’t think she stands a chance. Because Regina George is immaculate, perfect, unlike Cady who can’t seem to get her act together nor her body down enough for good crossovers.
Cady takes a warm bath, trying to somehow ease the pain all over her body. Her thighs scream with each step she takes.
“Binti, are you okay?” her mother wonders when she comes down for lunch.
“Yes, just too much practice,” she explains.
“I noticed, but I haven’t seen Janis in a bit.”
“Oh, no, uh, I’m getting help from Regina, she’s a figure skater,” Cady feels herself about to put her foot on her mouth, about how pretty Regina is or something.
“That’s nice of her,” Betsy says. Cady feels as if she has just read her down, but has the kindness not to say it. “Just take care of yourself, ok? I don’t want you to see you get hurt.”
Cady nods once, as she sits down and starts eating.
Her mother said the same thing when she told her about wanting to start ice hockey. It was not her plan when they came to America, but she went to the ice rink as a one-time thing, which turned into two-times, and then she didn’t want to leave. The idea of starting ice hockey came from Janis, who saw her around the rink way too many times and the team needed people, so even newbie Cady Heron would work.
She’s glad it happened, even if they haven’t won a single game since she joined (even if they never win any).
And she’s glad she asked for Regina’s help, even if now her stomach feels all tied up in knots. She’s good, like actually, really good, and Cady can see how she’s improving. During team practice she’s no longer the slowest of them, she’s getting better, faster, smarter, and that’s all thanks to her.
(Oh, she’s really down bad, isn’t she?)
xx
“Caddy, left!” Janis shouts.
Cady strides to the place where Janis called her, and quickly blocks Sonja, swiping the puck away from her, and shooting it at Grace. Taylor tries to block her, but Grace throws the puck behind, back to Cady, who quickly caught it with her stick and starts to dribble until she gets an open, sending it to Dawn, who finally scores.
“That was good, Heron,” Sophie says, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Thanks!”
“Yes, Caddy!” Janis exclaims, she smiles and slides close to her friend. When Sophie leaves, she says, “Apparently the classes from the princess of hell are helping.”
Cady rolls her eyes, “She’s not evil, you know.”
“I don’t know, Caddy, better be safe than sorry.” Janis shrugs with a laugh, “Just joking. Will you see her today.”
“Yes, after training.”
Janis looks at her, like, really looks at her, and Cady flushes.
“Oh my God, you’re totally in love with the Princess of Hell, aren’t you?”
“Lower you voice!”
“You two ready? We’re going again,” Grace calls, and they both nod.
“We’re talking about this later,” Janis says.
xx
Cady is all alone in the rink when Regina arrives, there’s something different about her, her posture stiff. Shane comes behind her, with a hockey stick in his hand.
“Shane is helping us today,” Regina says, shortly.
There’s something wrong with her, but Cady doesn’t think she should question it. Instead, she says hi to Shane, and starts practicing. It’s not as easy as it should be to work out where the puck will end, the ice too cracked, but it’s better.
(After all, if Regina has taught her one thing, it is that she shouldn’t train easy if she wants to be good.)
Shane is good at hockey, even if sometimes his shots are not quite accurate. He clearly knows how to skate perfectly, he can slide like other people walk or run, a second nature sort of thing, which helps him. And Cady finds that it’s fun to spend time with him, he’s warmer than Regina, constantly giving her high-fives and calling out when she makes a right, which is honestly boosting her confidence a bit.
Regina is standing in a corner, half leaning on the board.
She calls out sometimes, bend your knees, or look ahead, or faster. But she doesn’t seem as engaged as she usually is. Cady tries not to think too much about it, not to think too much about Regina as a whole, but that’s almost impossible. She’s on her mind, all the time, and she has no idea how to make it stop.
“This is it,” Regina calls. “We can continue tomorrow.”
“What?” Cady asks. Usually they spend at least an hour on the ice. It’s only been half an hour at most. “Why?”
“Because I say so, loser.” Regina looks at her, a clearly not happy expression on her face, and slides, leaving the rink. She turns just before crossing the door, and says, “you can do tomorrow, right?”
Cady says a soft sure, trying to sound cool and chill and totally not desperate, to which Regina offers a tense smile.
Cady faces Shane, who shrugs, the hockey stick still in his hands. There’s an uncomfortable silence until Regina finally leaves, and they don’t move, not sure on what to do.
Shane breaks the silence, saying, “It’s not personal.”
Cady shrugs. It hurts, if she’s honest. There’s nothing cute nor nice about being rejected by Regina, even if it’s about something as stupid as not having a long training session. She’s not entitled to them, she knows, but still. She was excited about spending time with her, especially after spending half of the practice with Janis bugging her about it.
“Really, it’s nothing with you, she’s just-” Shane cuts himself off, takes a deep breath, and speaks again. “Her back hurts. It’s a long story, and it’s hers to tell. But it’s why she couldn’t stay much on the ice, and why I’m here.”
“It’s okay,” Cady says. “I don’t need an explanation.”
“I can stay a little longer though, wanna work on those strides?”
Cady nods, and starts to slide again. Training with Shane is not the same as training with Regina, despite the time they play hockey, he doesn’t really tell Cady what she’s doing wrong, or how to really improve. He’ll make remarks, but not much past that. Still, it’s fun, and she’s positively tired by the time Shane takes her home.
She just hopes Regina is feeling better tomorrow.
xx
Regina makes a turn, then jumps and spins while in the air. She then does a pose, then another.
It’s mesmerizing to watch, and Cady can’t keep her eyes off.
Every movement is at least a little more jaw-dropping than the last one, and Cady fears that her jaw might be open, for real. It’s embarrassing how much she loves to watch Regina, from that first day to those YouTube videos to now, right in front of her, as she is practicing.
“Hey,” Regina calls out. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
“All good,” Cady promises. “You’re really good.”
Regina says something, like a hum and a thanks mixed in one. “You ready for today?”
Turns out, Regina really wants to compensate from the day before. They work on Cady’s strides, then her crossovers. Regina is exact with her remarks, showing what she’s trying to get Cady to do, switching the weight from one foot to another as if it is just walking, something so similar, so mundane, anyone can do it.
“You’re slowing down when you pivot, you need to compensate for the weight better,” Regina explains. She gets close to her, holds Cady by the shoulders and pushes her forward, closer to her. Cady has to look up to meet her eyes. “You’re not going to fall, I promise.”
For a second, Cady thinks she’s close enough to kiss her.
That, maybe, if she had a pair of figure skates like Regina’s, she could get on her toes, the teeth of the skates, and push herself high enough to kiss her. All thoughts about skating go away for a moment, as she thinks if it’s worth it.
(Even if Regina pushes her away, isn’t it better to regret the things she did over the things she didn’t?)
She doesn’t do it though. Because she’s not a masochist (or well, maybe a little, this amount of training isn’t free of pain), and she’s not going to put herself up for rejection. Not like this. Even if she thinks about it for the remainder of the training, even if she can sense her thoughts slowing her down, like an added weight.
Regina doesn’t notice, or is kind enough not to mention it.
xx
“I can’t tomorrow,” Cady explains as they get out of the ice.
She has some tissue paper to dry her skates, and a towel to wrap them and throw them into the duffle bag. Regina has tissue paper too, and special covers, and a pink bag with the shape of the skates in which they fit perfectly. Cady can only imagine how much her skates could be worth, after all, her own skates weren’t cheap and those were the cheapest she could find.
“Yes, you said something last week. Mathletes, right?” Regina wonders.
“Yes, exactly.” She zips the duffle bag and throws the stick on her shoulder. “Do you do something, outside skating?”
“Not really, this was all I used to need.” There’s a somber look on her face when she says it, and Cady wants nothing but to make it go away. But maybe she needs to talk, so instead, she waits in place. “I almost got to the Olympics.”
“What happened?”
“Do you really don’t know what happened?”
Beat.
“I saw the video.”
Regina lets out a dry, humorless laugh. “Everyone saw the video. But yes, that was it, I recovered but I’m not good enough for the Olympics. But you know, those who can’t do, teach.”
“Regina, you can do.”
“Not good enough, but that’s fine, it’s whatever.” She shrugs, and quickly takes her things, clearly deciding that they’re not talking about that. “I’ll see you on Saturday?”
Cady nods. “Saturday.”
xx
On Saturday morning, she finds Regina and Shane skating again.
This time they’re not in workout clothes, instead, they have the full attire, from head to toe. Regina’s wearing a bodysuit with a low-cut back, and her hair is down, which is strange. Most of the time she’s wearing some type of braid or a ponytail, but watching the soft, blonde curls falling over her shoulders is something that makes Cady even gayer than she was this morning.
They move together, sometimes Shane holding Regina’s arm, sometimes the other way around. It’s perfectly synchronized, their arms and hands moving at the same time, it looks accidental, involuntary, but such a precision must only be a product of endless hours of training. At times, Regina’s skates don’t even touch the ground, Shane spinning her around, a well rehearsed dance.
They’re graceful, perfect movements in perfect timing. And sure, Cady is no judge, she barely really knows how figure skating works, but they’re clearly good. Their speeds match to the second, yet they make it look effortless, as if going so fast is only so natural for them
As soon as the pop music stops playing from the speakers, Cady starts clapping.
“Cady!” Shane says with a big smile. He always looks somewhat like a golden retriever puppy, which is adorable in Cady’s eyes. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Oh, sorry! I can leave if you want to.”
“No, no, I think we’re done for today.” He shoots Regina a wink, and she rolls her eyes, cheeks slightly pink. “Have fun! But not too much fun, you know. If you need something to cool down the ice is really-”
“Leave!” Regina shouts at him, but there’s no bite. She goes to the bleachers, picking up and putting on a pink jacket.
That’s when Cady realizes why Regina’s hair is down. There’s a scar, which starts around her neck and gets lost in the bodysuit. The accident. It’s been almost a week since their brief conversation about it, and Cady is still a little dumbfounded about it.
How can Regina think she’s not good enough, if she’s literally the best?
Cady wishes she didn’t have a game in five days. She wishes she didn’t have to worry about her speed, or her stats, or to rewire her brain. Instead, she would sit next to Regina, pointing out how every bit of herself is perfect, from her hair, the way she scrunches her nose to how she skates.
(She’s down bad, she knows, but that’s not her fault.)
xx
Cady spends her whole Sunday debating whether to text Regina or not. Maybe asking if they can hang out, just for a bit, but she’s not sure if Regina sees her as a friend. If she even thinks about her when she’s out of the ice.
Does she talk about Cady? Does she tell Shane about their training? About how close they sometimes are?
Cady decides to be brave (at least for this one time) and texts Regina a quick hey, do you wanna get coffee? She doesn’t particularly like coffee, but she’s sure she can find a chai latte wherever they end up going. Besides, Regina looks like the type of person who likes coffee, maybe.
It takes thirty-four minutes for her to answer. Cady knows, not only because she’s counting (and she’s good at math!) but because she thinks about deleting the message at least thrice a minute until the answer arrives. It’s easy, a sure, I’m at practice, will be out in 30 which gets Cady to gather her things and try to look presentable enough.
Betsy drives her and she checks her look again in the rink’s bathroom. It’s kinda gross, and there’s always too many people around, but she needs to look as good as possible.
She hangs out for a quick minute, waiting for Regina to be over. Cady doesn’t see Shane, but there’s the two other soloists from the photos. They all seem to be working on the same skill, a skill that Regina is executing perfectly. The shorter soloist seems anxious, almost holding back, which is fumbling her speed and therefore balance, and the other seems to mix up the directions, going left instead of right.
Cady wonders if Regina teaches them too, or if they’re just friends, or if they’re supposed to be on the same level.
Exactly thirty minutes after Regina’s message, she gets out of the ice, the other two still practicing.
“Cady, hey,” Regina says, smiling. Cady loves when she smiles at her like this, when her eyes look so blue and Cady feels like she can spend a lifetime just discerning her features, falling more and more in love with her. “Sorry I didn’t say hi before, we were just training.”
“It’s all good, I love watching you.” She realizes that it might sound creepy and clarifies, “Watching you skate, obviously. You’re just really, really good.”
“Thanks.” Regina blushes or Cady is almost sure she’s blushing. “Where did you wanna go?”
“Uh, anywhere you want to, really, my mom dropped me off.”
“I can drive us,” Regina says.
Cady offers to carry Regina’s stuff to her car, an orange jeep, and Regina ends up choosing a random Starbucks that is somewhat close to the rink.
It’s only then where Cady realizes, they haven’t really talked much about anything outside skating. Their talk begins from there. It turns out the two soloists from the photos are Gretchen Wieners and Karen Shetty, who both started classes around the same time Regina did. Usually, they trained together. Shane joined their class a few years later, falling in love with the sport through his sister, who quit a few years ago.
That quickly evolves into talking about their families, and then things they like, and Cady wonders how it can be so easy to talk with her. How there’s no ice to break, no awkward moments.
The time passes faster than she realizes, and soon her half finished drink is cold, the sun having set long ago.
“Do you want me to drive you home? It’s already late.”
“It’s not necessary, I can call my mom,” Cady says.
“It's not a big deal. I like driving.”
Cady considers it and then nods, wondering if Regina also doesn’t want the afternoon to end.
xx
It feels as if every session gets longer and longer, not that Cady is particularly complaining. Regina even jokes at times, skates with her, and it’s different from the first few very technical training sessions. But after crossovers, and pivots, and strides, Cady's body is definitely over with the training.
But, if she's honest, she doesn't want Regina to go back to her house, she wants to spend even the last second with her if it's possible. She tries pushing through the training, doing everything Regina tells her to.
Almost as if reading Cady's mind, Regina says, "I think you're good. I think this is good."
"Can we try something different before we go?" Cady asks.
"Sure, what's on your mind?"
"Teach me figure skating," Cady says. "Just one movement. For funsies."
Regina laughs, "Funsies? Right, let me think... Have you ever tried a spin?"
"No." Cady might be lying, well, she didn't quite *try* a spin, but most certainly ended up doing one or two after someone hit her from behind, or because of her own clumsiness. But that's not the point, is it?
"Okay, I'll do it once, a simple one, and I'll explain." Regina positions herself; her arms open in a 90-degree angle, "I push myself with the sky from a T position, and then make a circle, that's what's helping me gain speed," as she says it, she starts slowly moving. Cady wonders how can she keep balance in such a slow speed. "And when I close, I'll put a leg up, and then spin. This is not going to make you spin a lot, so don't worry about it." Regina starts again, first doing the circle, and then pushing a leg up and spinning a few times. "If you're scared of falling just bend your knees, both feet on the ground, and try to pick a point somewhere and look at it, you won't get dizzy that way, although, you're really not going to spin a lot, maybe two or three times."
Cady nods, and positions herself, she starts with the circle until she gets frustrated and a little afraid. Why is she doing this? Is Regina George simply so pretty and gorgeous and smart that she's going to make a fool of herself trying a ridiculous spin? Simply because she wants to spend more time with her?
"Here, let me help you," Regina says. She puts a hand on Cady's waist, and another holds her hand, as she extends it. She can feel Regina's breath against her neck, feel her voice when she says, "I got you, okay? You're not going to fall." Cady pushes herself forward, and Regina helps her, "Get your skates together, you won't turn unless they are." Cady does as she's told, feeling Regina's body against her. She doesn't want to spin, she wants to turn and kiss her and tell her how gorgeous and perfect she is. "I'll help you spin now, and you'll have to let go of my hand." Okay, that's embarrassing. Cady hadn't even noticed she was holding on to her so firmly. "Go."
As an act of magic, Cady is suddenly spinning, one, two, three, and then her feet get to hip width again which stops the movement.
"How did that feel?" Regina asks.
"Dizzy," Cady admits.
Regina lets out a laugh, and Cady wonders how it can be so harmonious. They stay in silence for a moment, and Cady can feel the anxiety and sheer panic coming back to her.
“I need you to tell me that I can do this,” Cady admits.
“What? Figure skating?”
“No, no, the game. I need you to say that it’s just- I’m scared, okay? The game is the day after tomorrow and- We spent so much time training that if I fail, I’ll feel horrible, and I don’t want to feel like that. So tell me that I can do it?” She adds in a whisper: “Please.”
Regina puts both of her hands on Cady’s shoulders, and looks at her. It’s so intense, that for a second she forgets how to breathe, before remembering again.
“You, Cady Heron, are good, okay? Great, even. And I don’t say that to anyone. Even if you don’t win, that’s not the end of the world.” She makes a pause, something in Cady’s heart malfunctions maybe, for a moment, until Regina says: “I believe in you.”
(Cady’s on cloud nine even after she falls asleep.)
xx
She tries not to be nervous, to trust herself. She’s been training like crazy for this, and if it goes wrong, well, she’s going to be damn sad about it. But still her heart keeps beating, drumming so fast inside her chest.
Cady puts on the blue and yellow jersey as Sophie finishes a pep talk. She’s too stressed out to really listen to it.
Her heart stops the second she gets on the ice.
She can spot her mom, in the same place as she always is, next to Janis’s parents. There’s also some people wearing red and white, the other team’s colors, and Kevin and Marwan scream some math-related cheers.
“Oh, your girlfriend is here,” Janis says with a smile, as she puts on her helmet.
Cady almost doesn’t recognize her for a moment. Opposite to her usual pink, she’s wearing a blue sweater, her hair up in a ponytail. Cady waves at her, and Regina waves back.
(She doesn’t know if she prefers her here.
What if she loses? What if Regina sees her miserably failing, after all that training?)
Cady tightens the hold on the stick, and tries to make every thought go away as the ref drops the puck.
xx
Dawn is near the goalie when someone steals the puck away from her.
Cady groans, having been sure that was going to be their first goal, but still runs into action. She’s quick to catch up with the other player, but stealing the puck is complicated.
She throws a power shot at the puck, which is enough to take it away from this girl, but another one from the opposite team takes it. This other girl is taller, and therefore faster, and Janis struggles against her.
Luckily, Sophie blocks it just in time, and the score stays zero for both teams.
xx
Cady performs a great steal just in time. She starts moving towards the other team’s goalie, but one girl slides right in front of her. She doesn’t even try to block her, just skates close to her so Cady can’t move ahead.
She tries to pivot, but still falls down. It takes her only a moment to come back, but when she looks up, Regina has a worried look on her face. Cady tries to nod and smile, but doubts Regina is able to tell, the helmet covering half of her face. Still, she tries.
It takes her a second to find the puck again. Janis is face to face with the left wing from the opposite team, and Cady is quick to cover the other side. Which is a lucky movement, since Janis throws the puck at her, and this time she catches it. She starts doing crossovers, and hands it to Dawn, who this time manages to throw it to the net.
Cady can barely believe it when it happens, and the whole team gets close to celebrate.
They just have to keep the upper hand.
xx
The clock starts ticking down, as Cady keeps striding towards the goalie.
There’s not much time, and Dawn is nowhere to be found. Sonja and Caitlyn are not as fast as her, so Cady is safe to assume she’s alone. She decides to take the shot, after all, it’s better than waiting and losing the puck.
She hits, her knuckles probably turning white under her gloves because of how tightly she’s holding the stick.
The score goes up to two - zero, and Janis runs to high-five her.
xx
As soon as the timer is over, Cady is trying to get out of the ice. She tries to get her things together as soon as possible, leaving the rink without even celebrating. She needs to find Regina, to talk with her. To thank her.
(To kiss her.)
“You won!” Regina says, as soon as Cady reaches her. Cady knows she must look gross, with her hair sticking to her head with sweat. And she’s wobbly wearing skates in solid ground, but still. At least Regina doesn’t make any remark about that.
“Yeah!” Cady smiles at her, then deflates a little. “We’ll probably still end up last. But at least we won one game.”
“Well, for today, you won, so congratulations.”
There’s a silence, and Cady knows that this is her chance. If she doesn’t say it now, act in this very instant, she’ll lose the momentum, lose the barely there courage.
(It feels almost like when she asked Regina to help her.)
“Would you like to go out sometime? Like, a date kind of going out, I understand if you don’t want to and I know you’re, like, super busy with training and I have Mathletes, but if you wanted to, maybe, I don’t know, get some coffee? I think you like coffee, or it can be tea! It can be anything you want just-”
“Cady,” Regina says, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Yes?”
“You’re rambling.”
“Sorry.”
Regina kisses her.
She’s kissing Regina.
It’s sweet and tentative and soft. She’s shaking, or she thinks she’s shaking, and she holds on to Regina, which makes Regina hold her tighter, closer. The feeling of sheer panic and vertigo and dizziness she feels is way stronger than before. The game is long forgotten in her brain, because kissing Regina is probably the best thing that could ever happen to her.
“Does that answer your question?”
“Erhm, no?” Cady admits.
Regina rolls her eyes, and smiles at her, and Cady can’t believe that smile is directed at her. “Friday, after practice, I’ll pick you up.”
Cady knows she just won, that the team won for the first time since she joined. But that doesn’t matter, not really.
Not when she kisses Regina.