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I hope, Gihun, that you will not want to make mistakes, that you will stop fooling around and give up, that you will recognise that the system you are fighting against is inexorable and scary, dangerous. I know that you are seething with the bile of frustration and fear, I was exactly the same way myself and I had reasons to go with the flow, not to get out of it. You hear that, Gihun? I think you're bogged down in your hate and fear, I don't think I can save you.
- Shall I come with you? - I ask, already knowing you're not likely to choose me. You're going to choose Jung Bae, and that's the end of your game of hero, and that's where you and I are going to lose - or rather, Player 001 is going to lose, Hwang Inho is going to live. Thrive, if you will, I will be full of enthusiasm, I will be hungry, to your garbled cries for help I will be....
- Yes, Young-Il, you will come with me, Jung Bae will stay and lead the fire,’ For a second, all the speech I prepared for you personally after I change my clothes and kill that damned Park Jung Bae freezes in my chest. Your expression right in front of me is too real and too close for me to imagine hearing those words. You were serious.
The way my hands moved and the way my eyes slid - I didn't remember any of my movements, any of my words - I probably didn't speak. But my movements were sharp, I remember that distinctly, and how a smile involuntarily formed on my lips, I remember that too. I was mad, in that moment I somehow realised that I had no plan for this one. I was sure you didn't trust me to be alone, I was absolutely sure of my plan, I was, but not anymore.
- Why did you choose me? - I whisper and I come, probably too close to you. It must be abnormal because you don't pull away and only shake your head.
- Just because I need you,’ Gihun turns around and he seems even more beautiful to Inho now. A crazy definition, considering that one wrong move on his part would turn into a firing squad on Gihun's part. But still, the word ‘incredibly attractive’ describes Gihun the best. Right now, it has one big meaning to Inho.
That's why, Inho smoothly steps forward and kisses Gihun on the cheek. It doesn't matter because Inho kisses him to show that he's there for him. He touches his shoulder and strokes the number 456, he feels like everything is really becoming unimportant now. Not this game, not his life, because now he feels Gihun's gaunt shoulder under his palm and realises that the man's smile has disappeared because of him. Now that face expresses only bitterness and loss, now Gihun does not smile sincerely, his cheeks have disappeared, his face has become gaunt, even his voice seems to have become harsher.
He should genuinely not care, he didn't care in his first game, he didn't care when people died because of his games, he didn't care about anyone because he shut himself off - it was his way and he followed it. He must not care even now, a gaunt Gihun, player 456, what is he compared to a thousand lives? What is he compared to the system? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, he's empty and he, Inho, had to go down this path and beyond. Down the path of destruction, stretching a trail of blood behind him, for one man is nothing against a corrupt system. Gihun is empty and naked before a world that doesn't want to change (shouldn't change), Gihun has nothing to offer this world.
Inho is shaken. He's flustered because this whole situation is like there's no way out (it really has no way out), but Gihun sees it differently.
- Young-Il, don't forget that when we get out I'll buy you sake and we'll talk about it,’ Gihun wheezes. He's too nice, Inho can't stand it, his rotten truth and black mask would make Gihun miserable and he would stop smiling like that. Stop being so kind, stop giving hope to Inho. People like Inho don't deserve such warm looks and smiles, people like Inho should die in agony or rot in fear, and people like Gihun should be happy and smile brighter than the northern stars.
That should be true, but the world is a cruel place, nothing in it is right, so why does the hope and trust in Gihun's eyes break Inho? Why does he care? Why does his whole body cut and why do his hands shake so much - he shouldn't feel this way. Not in front of Gihun. Not in front of that cute, terribly articulate creature.
Inho unabashedly reaches for Gihun's hand and intertwines their fingers. Silently and without looking, he squeezes them sharply and feels Gihun's fingers squeeze his palm. He doesn't deserve him, he can't let him go.
- ‘Promise me that by all means, we'll drink this damn sake and have a heart-to-heart talk,’ In-ho hisses, looking down at his feet. Maybe Gihun looks stupid against the system, but maybe he'll look less ridiculous with Inho by his side?
Maybe it's worth a try and take the risk? Maybe Inho has already made that choice in favour of Gihun.
