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Ever since he was young, Yeojun had tunnel vision for his dreams. He would tune out the distractions as much as he possibly could and keep his eyes on the prize. Whether it was working towards a desirable test result in school or simply playing a game with his friends, he was driven to do his best.
This determination followed him into the doors of music labels and competitions. Even when in the seasons he met disappointment, he would waste no time stopping to greet it back. Instead he’d step around it and continue walking towards his goal. He refused to let his defeat be a setback.
Now he had tunnel vision for something new. To say this was another dream felt too deep to Yeojun, but similarly to his dreams, this felt unattainable at times—out of his reach, yet only an arm’s length away.
At an arm’s length away lay a warm figure. He could stretch out his arm and touch him. He could slide under his blanket and wrap his arm around the man. He could burrow his nose into his soft hair and breathe in the shampoo he had used a couple hours prior. He wouldn’t expect anything in return except for perhaps a sign of assent that he could continue to hold him.
Minwook was not a distraction he could tune out, nor did he want to step around him and leave him behind. And no, he wasn’t another dream. He became a part of his dream.
Yeojun not only dreamed of joining him on stage, but also of the simple courage to move from his bed and join Minwook in his. To simply hold him.
He was only an arm’s length away after all. They had pushed their beds together on the first day they were roommates. Since then, it was a constant thought about how easy it would be to just reach out and touch, but it was easier to stay right where he was and admire him instead.
He smiled softly to himself as the man across from him began to blink his eyes open, his hair in disarray from tossing and turning. Minwook’s dark eyelashes fluttered sleepily before his eyes made contact with his own. In his drowsy state, Yeojun continued to stare back until he realized how creepy he probably looked.
Sucking in a deep breath, he turned onto his back and closed his eyes. He hoped that his ogling went unnoticed by the other.
The light chuckles that began next to him proved that it didn’t.
“Were you watching me sleep?” snickered Minwook. “You in love with me or something?”
Yeojun tried to bite back his smile, but ultimately failed. “Mhm. I woke up because I was dreaming of you, hyung,” he joked. He opened his eyes and turned his head to peer at him sleepily. “Is that why you woke up too?”
Minwook quietly laughed and rubbed his eyes. “Yeah. Except mine was a nightmare,” he teased him back.
Joining him in his laughter, Yeojun turned back onto his side to fully face him.
It was easier to admire him when he wasn’t looking. Easier to stay still than to touch. Easier to tease than to confess. Easier, but no less heart-rending.
“What time is it?” Minwook asked. He lowered his hands from his eyes finally, blinking them more to clear his vision.
Yeojun quickly glanced away again when they made eye contact before turning to squint at the digital clock hanging on the wall. “Five,” he sighed. “I feel like I haven’t slept at all.”
“I know the feeling,” replied Minwook. He looked at Yeojun and his eyes practically spoke for him. “It’s tonight. Can you believe it?”
His heart began to race at the thought. He has been here before, but not quite this close. It felt like he was watching a movie he had seen before. Or reading a familiar book. He didn’t like the ending of it.
“You’re getting closer to your debut,” Yeojun said with a tiny smile.
Minwook smiled back, and even in the darkness of the room his eyes were twinkling. “Our debut.”
The way his heart was racing before couldn’t compare to how his heart was beating now.
“I really hope so, hyung,” he whispered. He closed his eyes, unable to handle the way he was looking at him any longer. “I’ve never wanted this so desperately.”
“You’ve worked hard, Yeojunnie.”
His heart could actually burst from his chest if he wasn’t careful.
Opening his eyes, he was startled by the significant change of distance between them. They had laid closely before, but not quite this close. Less than an arm’s length away. He could simply lift his hand and touch his cheek. He could. And with Minwook’s eyes closed, it felt easier.
Slowly and hesitantly, Yeojun began to lift his hand towards his face. As soon as his fingertips all but brushed the soft skin of his cheek, however, Minwook’s eyes popped open again. Panicked, Yeojun immediately reeled his hand back in.
“What were you doing?” Minwook whispered. He didn’t appear upset or perplexed. Only curious. The corners of his lips even curled up into a little smile.
“I- I don’t know,” stuttered Yeojun. Although he was embarrassed, he couldn’t take his round and mortified eyes off him. “Sorry, hyung.”
Minwook smiled a bit wider and shook his head. “Don’t be sorry,” he whispered. “Close your eyes.”
After furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Yeojun did as he was told without questioning him. He trusted him. He kept his eyes closed and continued to trust him as several silent moments passed. Nothing happened and he began to think nothing would.
Until he felt a hand gently covering his cheek.
Despite his shock in the moment, he willed his eyes to remain shut. As Minwook’s thumb stroked his flushed cheek, he relaxed his shoulders and allowed himself to melt into his delicate touch. Then once again he heard Minwook’s soft chuckle. This time it sounded so fond.
Maybe this was easier for him too with Yeojun’s eyes closed.
“I don’t want to debut if you’re not going to be there,” whispered Minwook. “I’ve gotten used to being with you.”
If Yeojun wasn’t partially frozen in disbelief of their current position, he would have likely told him that he would manage just fine debuting without him. He would have said that debuting with him also became his dream though, that he admired him for all he was and that he was everything Yeojun ever wanted to be. He was everything he has ever wanted.
However, not saying anything worked in his favor as the next words would probably be his favorite words to leave Jeon Minwook’s mouth up to this point. He would have hated to interrupt them.
“I’ve liked practicing and performing with you. Hanging out with you. Just being close to you,” continued Minwook. “I need to stay with you.”
Yeojun mourned the feeling of his hand as he slid it off and settled it on the crack that showed the separation of their two beds, where his ends and Minwook’s begins. When he opened his eyes, the other was as close as he was before. He was still smiling softly and his hand was inching towards his own. His fingers slid between his and fit perfectly there.
A shy smile spread across Yeojun’s face. “Then let’s stay together, hyung.”
That night—or more specifically, the early morning once the celebration had come to an end—the two of them met for one last time in their shared room. The space had become sacred to them. They were there at the start and again at the end of it all. From rivals to roommates. Teammates to members.
As soon as Yeojun followed him into the room and closed the door behind him, he wrapped his arms around Minwook and pulled him in tight. Minwook held him back just the same and hummed in content.
Yeojun could smell his shampoo and didn’t mind the way his hair tickled his nose. Their uniforms for the show were beginning to feel stiff and uncomfortable, but still their bodies fit together as perfectly as their fingers had.
He finally pulled away from the hug, but he didn’t let him go completely. His hand trailed along the collar of his navy blue blazer and Minwook’s eyes followed the movement of his fingers as they glided along the fabric. Adoring smiles graced both of their faces.
There were no words that felt right for this moment. Maybe they didn’t really need any words at all. Everything felt right as it was.
It had once been easier for Yeojun to keep him at a distance than it was to touch him like this and close the distance with a kiss. As it turns out, a single day can change everything. And as it also turns out, their mouths fit perfectly together too. He is convinced that every part of them fits together like they were made for one another.
They had time to find out.
This was really only the beginning. The end of a chapter and the beginning of a new. Yeojun liked the ending this time. He liked it a lot.