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“7-Adam-100, arriving on scene to confirm– Officer down, unconscious, breathing,” Tim called into the radio at his hip.
The radio crackled back to life with a response. Lucy talked to the bystander who called in the incident while Tim worked on taming his anxious fellow officer.
Wearing a blue blanket and brown saddle with bags of gear, the unconscious Officer Hernandez’s police horse snorted and neighed, a foot stuck in the stirrup as she dragged her rider across the street. “Come on, girl, stop moving so I can unclip you,” Tim embodied his inner horse girl, trying to approach the animal in distress.
The sun reflected off his badge and shined in the horse's face. She blinked and bowed her head, allowing Tim to come closer and mess with the caught boot. He freed the unconscious officer and grabbed hold of the horse’s reins.
An ambulance arrived to take Officer Hernandez to the hospital as Lucy regrouped to summarize witness statements– Officer Hernandez had hit his head on a signpost as his horse walked around a tight corner. It was funny, embarrassing, and stupid, but it knocked him out cold and off his horse.
“What’s the protocol to get the horse back to the barn?” Lucy asked, reaching forward to greet the large, brown, and black shiny-coated horse.
She tipped down her nose and pulled her ears back as she eyed Lucy reaching her hand up to say hi.
“We call someone to come get her,” Tim said, eyeing the leather-depressed name on her reins, Rhetta, and spotted her badge and badge number pinned by the horn of her saddle.
Lifting her wrist to check the time, Lucy clicked her tongue, “It’s shift change, I doubt there’d be anyone available,” Lucy delivered her lines perfectly, not yet giving away the knowledge she knew.
Tim disregarded her pessimism and radioed in to dispatch to check and see if anyone was qualified to come pick up a horse.
“I mean, we’re only two miles away from the barn,” Lucy added, seeing Tim’s frustrations grow as he kept getting non-answers about clearing the scene.
“What are you getting at, Lucy?” Tim called her out, recognizing the tone she was using.
“I’m just saying, as a field sergeant, and with horses and motorcycles in your divisions, you are trained to operate and know protocol regarding all LAPD resources of transportation so…”
“So what?” He spat, more annoyed than he was angry.
“So… You’re qualified to ride the horse back,” She said, trying and failing to hold back her grin and laugh.
Tim shifted on his feet and stared at the horse. She was right. As much as he hated that he had to do this unless he wanted to wait for someone to become available… It was a hot day, the horse looked like she needed water. She could, theoretically, make it back to the barn on her own, only two miles away, but as a sergeant, Tim couldn’t be so irresponsible with LAPD property.
“Go on,” He frowned at Lucy expectantly. “Get—” Tim waved her off, holding the reins to the horse and bonding with her before attempting to mount her. “Get back to the station, Chen.”
Lucy remained at her post, a block away from their shop, two miles away from the barn, watching Tim deal with the fallout of the situation.
“Nah, I’m good here,” Lucy protested, content to watch Tim get on the horse and walk it back home.
Tim shot her a look that she easily interpreted. If she were still a rookie, it would have scared the pants off of her, but as a P2, it only struck a mild amount of fear.
“Just making sure you get off okay…” Lucy paused to observe his demeanor before adding the indicator that she would indeed be making fun of him for this for the rest of his life, “…Sir.”
Tim had two options here: he could order her back to the shop, to bark at her and scream her away for insubordination, or he could let it be. He could relent and let it happen as it happens. He could mount the horse and walk it back to the barn— he could do his damn job and let Lucy be Lucy and let Lucy do what Lucy was going to do.
Finding the second option put less effort on his part, he ignored her indignant commentary and resumed bonding with the horse and making sure she’d be calm when he stepped behind her and hauled himself up on her back.
He ran his hand down her black and brown nose to her black nose and mouth. She snorted and pushed out her feelings, nudging his hand off her face.
His training had been brief, but mandatory upon becoming a field Sergeant. There were barns in his division, unbeholden to only mid-Wilshire, Tim had been certified and trained on all horse-related protocols, spent the required hours learning how to handle them, how to care for them, and (preverbally) put them to bed at night.
Hell, he could ride one of their 700 lb motorcycles back to the garage if he had to too.
He didn't want to but he could.
Placing a hand on the horn of the saddle, Tim slid the ball of his foot into the stirrup and pushed off, hauling his other long, slender leg up and over the seat. He slid his other foot into the hold and stood over the horse, adjusting himself before settling his weight against the back of the cantel.
He had been on horses before, in the army and a few times on the force. He knew what he was doing here as he pulled on the bridle to guide the horse where he wanted her to go.
The horse, Rhetta, a Hanoverian, known for her larger size, and quick ability to adapt to new situations, regarded her new rider with trepidation. As she felt Tim stand and sit on her back, she too adjusted to his weight and settled with the fact that he knew what he was doing as he sat firm and pulled on her reins to have her circle to the left.
Obediently, Rhetta stepped to the left and circled around to face the direction of the barn. The moment the pressure eased on her bite, she stepped in place, shifting and testing the weight atop her, Rhetta tested the chops of her new rider and heavily swung her head up and down while releasing a full-body neigh, flicking her tail and shaking her tightly braided mane.
“Whoa, girl,” Tim reflexively eased down with the pressure on the reins, never once releasing his grip as he moved with the horse, keeping control the entire time.
Lucy stepped back as the horse kicked at the ground and screamed. It wasn’t that she was afraid of the horse, no, the seventeen-hands-tall horse’s neighing just startled her, not expecting the animal to make such a loud noise, Lucy thought they trained the horses out of these sorts of behaviors.
“I don’t think she likes you very much, Tim,” Lucy quipped, seeing the panic cross his face as he likely considered the consequences of walking on foot the two miles back to the barn with eyes on his gear and hers contained within her saddle. Either that or risk riding a horse that was sure to kick him off.
Rhetta bowed her head slower and softer a few more times as she shifted their combined weight back and forth, waiting for instruction from her rider.
“No,” Tim refuted with a soft chuckle, he leaned down to brush his hand down her neck, “That was her version of a Tim test,” Tim puffed his chest outward, proud, as he looked at Lucy with a genuine grin on his face, “I passed!” He announced with excitement.
He leaned up slightly as he kicked the horse forward and started her on a four-beat pattern of walking.
Lucy walked parallel to Tim and Rhetta, watching on as Tim quickly relaxed in his confidence in riding the horse, the smug smile on his face burned into Lucy’s memory. “How fast do you think you’re going?” Lucy asked, walking diagonally toward her shop parked at the corner, “Want me to get out my radar?”
“She’s going 4.7 mph,” Tim discerned with odd specificity.
Arriving at her shop, Lucy grabbed the radar gun from the case in the trunk. She jogged slightly to get in front of Tim and Rhetta as they prepared to pass her with their steady gait. “How much do you want to put on this?” Lucy called out as she tapped the appropriate buttons to get it to work.
“Lunch for the rest of the week,” Tim offered, confident he was right.
Lucy pointed the sensor out, toward Tim and the gorgeous, shiny, dark horse he rode. “So how does Bento Memento sound? And I’m thinking Iggy’s local and fermented foods the next day?” The radar beeped with the readout, Lucy dropped the gun to see it in the sunlight.
“Sushi or Burritos?” Tim stopped the horse to keep in earshot.
“Burritos,” Lucy called out, disappointed. “4.73 mph.” She hung her shoulders defeated and went to put the radar gun away. “I hate how smug you are!!”
Tim directed Rhetta around to the right to pull up closer to Lucy’s shop. ( His shop, 7-Adam-100– 7-Lincoln-100 as he walked Rhetta back to the barn) . He put his hand holding the reins on the horn, the other rested on his hip. He was smug, and confident, basking in his win.
Only for Rhetta to ruin the moment when she lifted her tail and let out the loudest flatulence Tim or Lucy had ever heard.
They both burst out laughing, doubling over as the horse joined in and nickered.
“Seems like Rhetta likes burritos too,” Tim clutched his gut and moved as the horse moved. “I’ll meet you back at the barn?”
Lucy got in the front seat of the shop as Tim turned the horse around again and walked the two miles back to the barn. “Sure, I’ll meet you there,” She said with her window rolled all the way down.
Tim and Rhetta kept to the left side of the lane, practically walking down the middle of the street. Tim moved in tandem with Rhetta for about a block, peacefully enjoying the sun on his face and the cool breeze biting at his forearms when the sound of tires crept up behind him.
Turning his head to see what kind of vehicle– the horses should invest in a rearview mirror– Tim clicked his tongue and laughed seeing Lucy pull up next to them.
“Shop’s going 6, did you pick up the pace, Tim?”
Tim lifted in his seat and squeezed together his claves as Rhetta moved from a walk to a light trot. Her hooves pulled up high in a fanciful manner, clomping down roughly while her shoes scraped against the asphalt. Tim bounced with the horse’s up-and-down movements, keeping his core tight and his head high.
“8 mph?” Tim called out, “Not only do I pick lunch, but you pay,” He upped the stakes on their bet, doubling down on his ability to accurately predict speed.
“Ah ha! No gas, she’s going 9!” Lucy gloated behind the wheel, slowing to a stop as they approached an intersection. After the customary one-two-roll back-go, Rhetta kicked up as she resumed her trot and pulled her nose ahead of the push bumper of the shop.
Lucy pulled into pace and they kept at it, her driving his shop next to Tim, atop a horse, adorned with an LAPD blanket under her saddle. “Yeah, this is working for me,” Lucy admitted a block away from the barn.
Tim was sweating, drops sparkling in the sun as they dripped down his neck. He wasn’t so lucky to be wearing a hat, only protected by a thin layer of SPF in his daily moisturizer and a pair of cheap sunglasses. His shoulders relaxed into the walk, short, but late enough in the day to make it feel longer than it was, intensified by the deep red glow of the sun and surrounding red-orange sunset.
Parting ways at the fork separating the parking lot from the stables, Tim guided Rhetta to the left while Lucy drove to the right.
He was just about to dismount the large horse when Lucy stepped around the corner, the same time the Lieutenant in charge strolled out of the stable.
“How’d she ride for you, Sergeant?” Lieutenant Carlson asked.
Tim handed over the reins, or, tried to as Rhetta pulled her nose away from the Lieutenant and closer to the Sergeant.
“Uh, good, we got through the initial negotiation… She challenged, I responded. We got here, no problems.” Tim scratched behind the horse’s ears as she pressed her nose into his neck.
“Give her any candies, Bradford? She’s stuck on you like you’re painted with sugarwater,” Lt. Carlson tried to pull the horse toward the stable but it was like… trying to lead a horse to water.
“She’s not usually like this?” Lucy asked, coming up behind Tim, unable to keep her hands off the nearest animal, now that she was off shift and all, or would be if she made it into the stable and got her saddle and blanket taken off.
“No,” Lt. Carlson narrowed his eyes, “Officer Hernandez didn’t warn you?”
Lucy paused in rubbing Rhetta’s broad, velvety shoulder, “He was unconscious upon arrival,” The man had bonked his head on a low-hanging flagpole, fallen from his horse, two miles away from walking his horse home at the end of his shift.
“Rhetta here is two weeks away from retirement and she knows it,” Lt. Carlson walked with them into the barn and to her specific stable. It was adorned with ribbons and awards, newspaper articles, and pictures. After almost twenty years of service, Rhetta apparently had quite the reputation. “She’s stubborn and she’s real gassy,” He took off her gear and dressed her down for the night.
Hovering nearby, getting to watch the horse getting taken care of, Lucy laughed, “I thought it was our engine but now that I think of it, Tim, I think she was farting all the way down the boulevard,” Lucy pushed Tim’s shoulder, he and the horse were engaged in some pretty intense eye contact.
“She totally was…” Tim nodded in agreement, “But I can’t blame her, at least one or two of them were mine.” Tim got a laugh from the Lt. and Lucy, as well as the cop hovering in the distance, turning in his own partner.
Rhetta laughed along too, dragging her nose over the door to smush her lips at Tim. He reached out to rub her cheek and make kissy sounds back at her. She snorted and blinked her big brown eyes at him.
“Here, Bradford,” Lt. Carlson passed Tim a small candy, “Give the lady what she really wants.”
Tim unwrapped the peppermint puff and passed it up to Rhetta, who took it with glee and even winked at Tim in thanks.
“Such a ladies’ man,” Lucy scoffed, pulling out her phone to get pictures of the retiring horse that fell in love with Sergeant Bradford. “Hey, why don’t you ever give me any candies?” She sulked.
“You never took the blame for any of my farts, Chen,” Tim wiped his slobbery hand on Rhetta’s neck, her thick coat easily taking her saliva off of his fingers.
“Your farts are rank, Tim. Mine are normal– sweet, almost floral,” Lucy proudly boasted about her gut health.
Tim snorted and laughed, perfect timing as Rhetta joined in just after Lucy’s very false statement.
“You remember that time I made you walk along the shop?”
“Which time?” Lucy retorted. Throughout her rookie career, there were too many times to count.
“Last month,” He gave her side-eye. The most recent time he made her walk along the shop.
Lucy recalled the memory and gasped, “That is so not fair! You’re the one who insisted we go to that burger place. How was I supposed to know their veggie patty was entirely made of different kinds of beans?”
“No risk, no reward,” Tim said goodbye to Rhetta with a kiss between her ears. She protested loudly as Tim walked away from her stable. He promised to show up at her retirement party, though, he couldn’t believe he was trying to appease a horse.
