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The night before Rey returns, Poe is full of complicated feelings that he is almost too ashamed to admit to anyone, let alone Finn. He has other options, of course, but he crosses them off the list as soon as he adds them (Jess, Ello, Snap, Dallas the friendly tech, and on, and on). Eventually, he realizes there is only one person he can talk to about this, and he's annoyed it took him so long to come to that conclusion, but, in his defense, he's not exactly at the top of his game right now.
As far as Poe is concerned, BB-8 is a person, and he's a great listener. Really.
"The dynamic is going to change. I know it is, and I'm okay with it. I'm an adult, right? I'm a grownup, I'm not some whiny little punk kid who doesn't want to share."
BB-8 rolls his tiny droid head to one side without making a sound. Poe shifts uncomfortably on his bunk. He sits on his hands.
"Oh, don't give me that look. You're supposed to agree with me."
BB-8 rolls his head even further to the side. Still silent. Poe purses his lips and stares back for as long as he is able, but BB-8 has always bested him in staring contests and he fails horribly to maintain his composure, or hold the gaze. Scowling, he rips his hands out from beneath his thighs and puts his face in them. After a few moments, he rakes his fingers through his hair with a groan, defeated.
"Fine, I'm jealous. Already. She's not even here yet and I'm jealous. Which isn't fair to her, or Finn. I'm just - so used to this, you know? I like the attention, I like being the person Finn always turns to, and when Rey comes back... " He spreads his hands helplessly. "It won't just be me anymore."
BB-8 returns his head to its normal position atop the main sphere of his body and emits a series of beeps and trills that translates to, Humans are silly. You are silly. Rey is a good human, trust her. Friend. Ally. Trust Finn, more or less.
Well. Is Poe a jerk, or is Poe a jerk. He knows these thoughts are unworthy of him - hell, BB-8 knows - but even when he tells himself he's going to push them away, shove them to the back of his mind and let them rot there, they persist. Because the seed has been planted. Because it won't just be Poe anymore.
___
Later, Poe is insatiable. He bends Finn over the side of his bunk and pounds into him until they are both rendered to nothing but panting and moaning, until they leave marks in each other's skin, until they're desperate and strung out. No finesse, no technique. Just messy abandon.
"Poe please - please - "
Poe leans down so their backs are flush, so he can speak directly into Finn's ear. "Please what. Please what, baby, tell me."
"Make me come. I need to come, I can't - ah - shit - "
Poe barely lets him finish before he slams forward, unable to hold back. He wants to leave pieces of himself etched onto Finn, an imprint, something he'd never be able to wash off or forget about. He wants Finn to think of him when he looks in a mirror, when he closes his eyes, when Rey sees him and holds him and says to him, You look different -
He looked different, but not just because of Poe. He looked different on his own merits, the changes he'd made to his own life, the control he'd taken back, the way he thrived.
"Poe - "
Poe closes his eyes and lets go.
___
Rey arrives around dinnertime. Her ship was greeted with quite a bit of fanfare, considering the nature of the passengers (both herself and Luke Skywalker, a household name among the Resistance despite how long he'd been gone). Finn is there to greet her with a whoop, pulling Rey into his arms as soon as she disembarks, twirling her around as if she weighs no more than a doll. Poe watches them with a smile fixed on his face, noting that she tells him to put her down, put her down, she can walk herself, thank you. A shared joke, as they both laugh, though Finn does put her down.
When Finn brings her over to reintroduce them (they'd met once, when she returned BB-8 to the base, and again, before she left, when she came to the medbay to visit Finn and Poe was there), Poe does his best to appear cordial, even friendly, though he can't gauge his success and they don't linger long enough on it for him to make a call. Finn gives him a strange look, however, so he knows he probably doesn't seem like himself. A part of him feels like he's floating outside of his body, and it's not a pleasant feeling in the least. He wonders what would happen if he screamed, if maybe that'd shake loose the weirdness, the doubt.
Or he'd look like a psychopath. Even better.
Dinner is a torturous affair, by no fault of either Rey or Finn, and near the end of it Poe decides he needs to get some air or he'll suffocate. He excuses himself to the sound of protests, and heads to the hangar.
Ships are the best company for him right now.
___
"Poe? Hi." Rey's voice sounds from behind him, and his mouth goes dry. Her steps light, barely whispers, she moves around him and takes a seat, cross-legged, at his side - not so close that their shoulders touch, but close enough. She smiles an easy smile at him, completely relaxed. "I love it in here, don't you? I told Finn I'd find you when you didn't come back after dinner. I think he wanted to, but - " She shrugs. "This might work out better."
Her smile is infectious; Poe returns it, though his is on the quizzical side. "Hey there, Rey. What can I do for you?" He's still not sure how to behave around her, doesn't trust himself to keep from blurting out stupid nonsense. He wishes he had a drink, but he'll just have to make do without. He also wishes he could ask her to elaborate on Finn without seeming too obvious.
"We should talk," she says, gently.
Poe raises his eyebrows. "Pretty sure that's what this is." He motions between the two of them. "Talking." Ack. Stupid. Why does he always run his mouth under pressure?
Rey gives him a look that calls his bluff, but her smile doesn't waver. "About Finn."
No. No, no, no. Nope. Not about Finn. Poe will not talk about Finn with Rey. He will not. He refuses. The conversation would end in a disaster.
"What about him? Did something happen between you two?"
And there he goes. Maybe he can switch gears and turn on salvage mode, maybe that's still possible at some point.
Rey reaches out and rests a tentative hand on his shoulder, squeezes. It's a nice gesture. Poe hopes his face doesn't give away the knot in his stomach. A shoulder squeeze can lead to good news or bad news - he's used one in both situations before, and he doesn't want to let his imagination get the better of him (too late for that). "We caught up every now and then, through holos," Rey says, taking her hand away. "Whenever we had the chance, so not often." Poe remembers how excited Finn would get, the way his face lit up and his demeanor changed, and he feels a pang in his chest. "He always talked about you. We could've had...ten minutes? Five minutes, sometimes. And he talked about you."
For a moment, Poe doesn't remember how to breathe. His mind has stuttered to a halt. Sure, he figured - no, hoped - Finn maybe mentioned him to Rey, but this is something entirely different. This is-
"You guys talked about me?" His voice is strangled. "All the time?"
Rey laughs - she has a great laugh, rich and full and sweet. Poe thinks he can listen to her laugh all day. "Maybe not all the time, but a lot, yes. Finn likes to talk." She grins. "I like to talk, too."
"Makes three of us," Poe rallies, and he feels kind of ridiculous, since he isn't doing the greatest job at this talking thing. Normally, he's smooth as silk.
There's that wonderful laugh again. "Poe, the - the point is, I love Finn. But not the way he loves you. And not the way you love him." She grasps one of his hands in both of hers. "For a while...I was jealous. I thought there'd be no room for me between the two of you, and I was - well, it's stupid, really. Finn's heart is so big, there's plenty of room for us both. We should be friends." She looks him straight in the eye. "I want us to be friends."
And in that moment, he wants to be her friend more than anything else in the world.
"C'mere," he says, withdrawing his hand and opening up his arms. Rey beams and throws herself into the hug with gusto, slapping him on the back twice (firmly, ow) before wrapping her arms around his neck. She's an excellent hugger, but so is he. "Is this...some sort of Force thing? How did you know I was - you know?" He experiences a pang of fear, remembering what it felt like to have his mind invaded by Kylo Ren, but Rey quickly sets him at ease.
"Intuition isn't necessarily a Force thing, though I suppose you could say they're related."
Poe sighs. "I'm such an idiot."
"No, you're just a silly human."
Poe pulls back a little, giving her a look. "You gossiped with BB-8," he says accusingly.
"Shhh," Rey says, drawing him back. "Don't ruin the hug."
This is how Finn finds them when he ambles down the corridor and enters the hangar. He approaches with both eyebrows raised, though he seems pleased beyond all measure; his face is lit up.
"Hugged it out?"
"Hugged it out," Poe agrees, and Rey nods emphatically.
"Good," Finn says, and the past is the past. He grins at Rey, then at Poe, and his gaze lingers there. Until, "Get up, you slugs. Let's go watch the stars come out."
Ah, eloquence. Poe still loves him anyway.
__
"So I guess BB-8 said - "
"Oh, come on!"
Cross BB-8 off the list of people Poe can share embarrassing secrets with.
(But maybe, just maybe, he can add Rey.)