Chapter Text
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"Oh my god! You didn't!"
The classroom echoed with laughter, especially from the group of social, popular girls. The sound always had a way of making your eye twitch, though you knew it wasn't their fault. You often found yourself making the mistake of attributing your isolation to others, but deep down, you knew the truth. It wasn't anyone else's fault that you were this way. It simply was.
"Alright, times up. Where's my 100 yen?"
You turned around and sighed, rolling your eyes in irritation. It was sad and pathetic what men would do these days to get an ounce of attention, you thought to yourself. You didn't know if he was letting them sit on him because he was a pervert, or just desperate for money and attention.
"Pay up!"
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The bell rang, signaling the start of the lunch break. You adjusted your uncomfortable uniform and stepped outside. A few girls here and there chuckled and whispered, about you probably, but it was fine. You were okay with it. You were better off as their enemy than their friend.
You hid behind a wall where nobody passed by as you took your cigarettes out from your pocket. You used to be cautious about smoking, but you didn't care anymore. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. You chuckled to yourself about how much you sounded like an edgy teenager, well, you were.
"Hey, can I have the last few drags?"
You were abruptly torn out of your thoughts and brought back to reality. It was the boy from your class, the one letting girls sit on him for a few yen, Denji. He probably didn't even know your name, you assumed.
"What?" You laughed. "I can just give you a whole one, it's no problem." You held your cigarette between your teeth, retrieving the pack and offering it to Denji.
"Really? Sweet!" The boy exclaimed, his voice brimming with excitement as he took one out. You pulled out a lighter and flicked it to life in front of him, only for him to shake his head.
"No thanks, it's not for me."
Your eyebrows twitched. "Then who's it for? You're not gonna... tell on me, are you?"
You swallowed hard, your mind racing with the worst possibilities, your future reduced to sweeping the streets to earn a single penny a minute. Or worse. Prostitution.
You weren't going to give up on your little brother like that.
"What? Nah." Denji shook his head. "I'm gonna sell it."
"You're gonna sell a single cigarette?"
He took a plastic bag out of his pocket and revealed a bunch, no, tens of hundreds cigarette butts, smiling proudly.
"Oh my god!" You laughed. "Where did you get these? Are they yours?!"
"Nah," He said, glancing down with a hint of pride. "I collect these and sell 'em to homeless people. They'll probably end up dead 'cause of me in a few months, but hey, that's just business, right?"
"Are you insane? Ripping off homeless people?" You were taken aback, crossing your arms in disbelief. "That's... honestly impressive, though." You let out a chuckle. "And smart. Any reason why you're doing it, or...?"
Denji scratched his head, his eyes flickering as he was trying to find the right words, almost debating whether or not he should tell you the truth.
"I kinda have a... little sister, you can say, at home. Gotta take care of her, y'know?"
You blinked in surprise, his words striking a chord deep within you. A little sister?
"I know what you mean." you said softly, taking another cigarette and putting it between your teeth as you searched for your lighter. Your voice tingled with unexpected vulnerability.
"I've got a little brother too. He's all I got." You weren't trying to seem emotional in front of Denji, truly. You weren't going to whine and cry about your hard situation at home, life's tough for everyone. When an animal loses its limb it doesn't spend time depressing over it, it adapts for survival purposes.
Denji was taken aback. "Really?" He said, his surprise evident. "I guess we're in the same boat then, huh?" He turned back and squatted in the corner as he started picking up dried tobacco.
"You don't smoke?" You asked.
"Nah, I don't like the taste." He shrugged, "Knew some people who did, though." His tone went flat, almost dismissive, with a subtle change in his expression.
"Didn't end well for 'em." He tilted his head, his expression calm and unbothered. "Seems like smokers don't last long around me."
The smoke got caught in your throat as you inhaled, not expecting that to come out of his mouth.
"I better be an exception, then." You chuckled at his carelessness.
"We'll see about that." He giggled, leaning against the wall and looking at you through the corners of his eyes.
You jabbed him with your elbow, letting out a playful laugh. "What did you say?!" You joked, putting a finger up to his face, scolding him.
The both of you laughed, but your moment was cut short by the sudden sound of the bell. You sighed, stamping out your cigarette with a frustrated twist of your foot.
"Well, uh, I better get going." He added, quickly hiding away the bag of tobacco in his pocket
"It was nice meeting you, though, uhh..."
You laughed, already expecting this.
"We're in the same class!" You stretched your arms outward.
"I knew it! That's why you seemed familiar."
Denji looked at you for a moment, his expression softening.
"Yeah, I guess you're hard to miss," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I, uh, kind of always notice when someone's in the same spot every day." He gave a small, sheepish smile, his gaze shifting away. "Not that I'm paying attention to you or anything, it's just... hard not to notice, right?"
You raised an eyebrow. "...Right."
You told him your name, amused by the way he fumbled. You knew he didn't remember.
"RIGHT! I knew that." He exclaimed, flashing a lopsided grin and waving as he turned to leave. "Well, see ya around."
"Yeah, sure you did." You muttered under your breath, watching as he walked off.
He was something else. Rough around the edges, a little crude, but somehow, he was one of the only people in your life who spoke to you like you were real. Like you weren't just another face in the crowd. It was... kind of cute.
He was cute.
Your face warmed as the thought fully registered and you quickly shook your head, trying to get rid of it. No, that was ridiculous. A bad idea. A really bad idea. You weren't catching feelings. You weren't.
Besides, he was disgusting. Scamming old people. Yeah. That was it.
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After Denji left, you lingered for a moment, lost in thought. The conversation stirred something in you, something you had buried.
As you start walking home, the streets blurred and your mind drifted to the past.
You grew up fast. You had no choice. With no parents to rely on, it was just you and your little brother, pushing and scraping by however you could.
You remember the late nights spent counting coins, the gnawing hunger that became a dull ache after some point, and the way you learned to be strong for someone who depended on you. You still felt bad, turning to cigarettes and alcohol to soothe the pain, but it was your way of escape.
Your brother was the only thing keeping you from going mad. His laughter, his innocence, the way he looked up at you like you had all the answers in the world. He didn't know how much blood was on your hands just to keep him safe.
But it didn't matter. As long as he was okay you could endure anything.
The streets were eerily empty, the usual noise of the city was swallowed by an unnatural silence. A chill ran down your spine, and instinctively you knew you were being watched.
Before you knew it, the world around you started twisting and blurring.
The streetlights flickered and distorted, shadows stretching unnaturally along the pavement. A sickening pressure filled the air and pressing against your lungs. You thought this was it. You've lived long enough.
You suddenly started experiencing flashbacks, flashbacks of your brother, struggling to keep himself up after your death. He only had you, the same way you only had him.
Your vision blurred at the edges. Before you saw. It.
A devil. But not like others.
It wasn't grotesque or monstrous, if anything it's the opposite. Its form was hazy, something your mind your mind struggled to comprehend. The longer you stared, the longer it felt like going into the abyss itself. Something that shouldn't exist. Something that defies understanding.
You couldn’t move, couldn't scream.
"You are afraid of what you do not know."
The voice wasn't spoken aloud, it bloomed inside your skull, deep and infinite.
You dropped to your knees, clutching your head. Images flashed through your mind, fractured visions of things that haven't happened yet, memories that aren't yours.
The voice spoke again, getting quieter each time.
"Then become the unknown."
Agony ripped through you. Your skin burning, your bones cracking, as the world around you fractured. You didn't know if you were screaming, if you were dying, if you were even yourself anymore.
You felt a violent energy surge through your veins, before everything went black.