Chapter Text
Kurt drove Blaine back up to his house after school. Today was his turn to drive them, and Blaine’s mother was away on business, so... well. "Uhm. Blaine?" he said, pulling the car to a stop and peering at a man fiddling with the guts of, what looked like, the security system. "Should we call the police? I think you're being robbed."
Blaine looked up from his phone in confusion, his eyes widening before he groaned in realisation. "Ah...no don't bother." he replied unbuckling to get out of the car.
"Blaine!" Kurt grabbed his arm. "There's a strange man. Who is not wearing a uniform. Messing with your security system. I really think getting out of the car would be a bad idea," his eyes were wide, worried, and locked on the figure crouched and fiddling.
Blaine sighed, "It's my dad don't worry about it... he does stuff like this. Be thankful the house is still intact." he replied gently pulling free and climbing out of the car.
Earlier, Blaine’s father had poked around the porch, trying to decide if he should put in a security system while he was waiting. Well, upgrade the one that was already there. Seriously, Lea really should have just told him she needed a better system, this one was junk. Sure, they vaguely got along, and he didn't really phone all that much, or ever, but that never meant he didn't CARE. He was new-leafing and everything. And he was wearing his sunglasses with a hoodie as a disguise, so he was most certainly prepared. Then again, he only had a small toolkit with him, aside from the small box of components in the car. He could, at the very least, tweak it to be a little more sensitive.
"Your dad?!" Kurt blinked. He thought his father was, well... the absent type. He scrambled after him, locking the car’s doors and followed uncertainly.
Blaine’s dad got a little electric shock and pulled his hand back, sucking at the sting on his thumb. "Well, that was uncalled for," he told the bit of machinery before poking at it again and pushing the wires and everything back into place before he started screwing the plate back on. At the sound of footsteps, he glanced over his shoulder. "Oh, hey Curly-top! Your security sucks, I'm getting you a new one." He looked back to where he was fastening the plate. "This'll do for now though. I guess."
“Don't call me that." he grumbled walking up the steps. "Did you break it? It was fine before."
"It SUCKED, kid. I made it better." He knocked against the faceplate and stuck the multitool back in his pocket.
“You know it takes mom forever to work out the security system each time you mess with it. Last time we got locked out and had to spend the night in the car." he complained before glancing over. "Oh right sorry. Kurt this is my dad, Dad, this is my boyfriend. Kurt."
"Blaine..." Kurt stood at his boyfriend's shoulder looking at the man as he stood, suddenly recognising him. "Uhm... Your ... that's your-” Kurt looked at the man, nodding politely. “Pleased to meet you, sir.”
The man flicked down his sunglasses and regarded the tall figure. Upturned nose, slightly pointed ears, prominent cheekbones. "Huh. And you’re sure he's human, right?" he asked Blaine, curious.
Kurt sputtered.
He kept eyeing Kurt for a moment, then did a doubletake to his son, before Blaine could answer. "Wait, you're gay?"
"Yes he's..." He trailed off staring at him. "You're not serious right now? Dad I've come out to you three times. What do you think that whole Sadie Hawkins thing was about?"
"I know what THAT was about, you brought a boy to a dance. I figured you were there as friends and someone spiked the punch," he regarded the two of them. "Huh."
Kurt pushed forward and poked him in the chest. "Listen, it’s bad enough you can't be bothered to care enough about your son to listen to him. Then you try to turn him straight, and now you’re being a complete... a complete jerk about everything -- you can't just show up out of the blue when he isn't expecting you and and expect him to answer stuff like that. And what's this about me not being human!? Are you taking Crazy Pills?!"
Kurt blinked and poked his chest again. That wasn't skin and muscle. Poke. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kurt noted the man was trying not to laugh.
Poke. Confused glance. Poke.
Blaine touched Kurt's arm gently to stop him, “Honey, you don't want to do that."
He grabbed Kurt's finger, as his son spoke, and pushed it aside. "Listen Elf-Kid. First? Three pokes is plenty, you didn't need the fourth. Second? Nobody talks to me like that. Ever. Third? You hurt my kid, and you turn up in bits and pieces at the local dog-food cannery, got it?" He pulled off his sunglasses, tucking them in his pocket.
Kurt gulped and stepped back with really wide eyes. Then he looked at Blaine, back to his father, back then to Blaine. He then pointed at the man while looking at Blaine, his eyes asking about a million different questions.
"Dad! Kurt's just being protective. I.... Wow, you two meeting for the first time was not supposed to go like this," he replied with a grumble. "Can we just all go inside please?" he asked grabbing his key.
He dismissed Kurt by turning to his son. "Doesn't matter, I got to do the Protective Dad Terrorising The Date thing. That was fun. Let's not have to do it again. Also, a NAVIGATOR? Blaine, those things eat gas like candy - I can get you a better car than that. Sure it's big, but ugh. The GAS."
Blaine sighed, "Don't you have a sportscar?" he asked, opening the door to let them all in.
"I fixed it," he replied, following Blaine inside and looking around.
Kurt followed, his brain trying to wrap around things. "Wait," he said, closing the door and leaning against it behind them all, being the last one inside.
"Oh, you're still here?" He looked over at him.
Blaine shook his head walking to the kitchen to grab a drink. "Out of the two of you, he's the one I actually invited home," he replied. Admittedly, he had been hoping to have the house to the two of them. "Why are you here anyway?" he asked, handing Kurt an orange juice as he gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Yes he's who you think he is," he whispered.
Kurt nodded, relaxing now that he wasn't apparently having a fantastically hallucinatory mental breakdown.
"I'm in Ohio! I have a son in Ohio, and considering I'm in Ohio, I figured I'd visit. Y'know. Do Dad stuff."
"It's generally polite to phone ahead, Mister Stark," Kurt said sullenly.
"Ooooh Mister Stark, I like that. You can call me that."
Blaine rubbed Kurt's back, soothing him. "What kind of dad stuff?" he asked warily.
"Y'know, give your car a tune up - maybe get a box seat at some game or somesport while we all're in town, eat food.... Go fish?"
Kurt giggled, shaking his head with disbelief. "Sir. I don't think-"
"What is this guy?" Tony pointed at Kurt while looking at Blaine. "He doesn't cuss, he says ‘mister’ and ‘sir’... is he related to Steve, or something?" He looked at Kurt intently. "Were you stuck in ice recently?" He poked at him with his finger, then did so another two times, keeping it under four, but enjoying the widened eyes and offended look it elicited. The kid even flinched a little. Quite entertaining.
"Stop it, c'mon he doesn't like being touched by random people, and no he wasn't stuck in ice, he's just.... He's just Kurt," he replied with a warm smile. “Besides, we don't all have obsessions with ice men.”
"I don't know what you're talking about. So, since you're apparently gay and have a boyfriend of indeterminate origin," Tony smirked at Kurt's offended semi-squawk, "I'll bet he doesn't even know how to use a screwdriver properly."
Kurt's glare came out at that.
"Kitty's got glare, but kitty doesn't have any game," Tony mock-pouted. "Poor kitty."
"Oh God." Blaine ran his hand over his eyes. "His dad's a mechanic."
"So? Your dad's a Genius Mechanical Engineer, and you're a singer. Oh God, he's a singer too, isn't he? Shit, do you guys sit on the apex of bridges and sing sappy love songs to each other while spewing hearts out of your eyeballs? I might have to puke rainbows, here."
"Blaine. Your dad is a disturbing combination of your brother and Miss Sylvester," Kurt decided, before he leveled a glare back on Tony. "Listen, Mister Stark. I don't mind if you pick on me, but you'll stop picking on your son, or I'll show you exactly what I can do with a screwdriver."
"Oooh!" Tony clapped his hands in delight. "I'm so scared."
"I don't care how sarcastic you get, you're just an oversized egoistic man-child. And to think, you and your father were two of my idols."
"See, that's your first mistake, idolising a Stark." Tony poked him again to see him flinch. Interesting....
"That's four." Kurt’s chin lifted a touch so he could look down his nose at him.
"Doesn't count, I paused, so that's one. And here's two and three," double poke, but Kurt grabbed his finger mid third-poke.
Tony pulled. And tugged again. "Nice grip."
Blaine closed his eyes in frustration and pushed them apart. "Dad. Stop it. Be nice. Kurt? Sit down. Just ignore him when he gets like this, he thrives on attention."
Tony grinned, putting his sunglasses back on so he could pull them down enough to peek over them. "I'll be back in about two hours, take you two someplace that doesn't have refills to eat for a nice family dinner." He poked them back up to cover his eyes. "If you're gonna be gay, there's worse guys than Mini-Steve the Elf-King. I like him, he can be my son-in-law." He walked to the door, then turned, walking backwards and flashing a broad grin. "Use condoms and practice safe sex, kids. That's one of those important Dad things I get to say now. See you in a bit!" he said, letting himself out.