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Ochako Uraraka is a regular girl.
Sure, she's watched her parents struggle with money, had evenings of having to eat only the scraps left in the fridge on the worst days. On the best days, a delicious warm meal would be served. Now that she could support her family better, it had become easier for her parents to earn a steadier income than in her past, and Ochako couldn't be happier.
Ofcourse, studying at a prestigious school was no regular thing either. She would admit she'd cried when the letter came in, her eyes wet as she sat with her parents, who had hugged her from both sides, tears in their own eyes as well. UA had been everything she'd ever dreamed of and more, and the first day she walked through the gates she felt incredibly small. Even after all the training she's done with her quirk before the entrance exam, her heart still raced as her feet moved her forward. Who would her classmates be? She remembered the faces of the people who hadn't gained any points in the exam, devastated. She remembered the green-haired boy she'd tried to help out, after he so selflessly saved her.
Ochako had great friends, and the best class she could ever ask for. Deku, Iida and Todoroki came first, but she’d consider every single person in her class her friend– even Bakugou. Being friendly, bringing a smile to people’s faces was her specialty, and a trait she took pride in. When someone felt down, her plainly decorated dorm was always open to them. She was always open to hugs, a soft hand rubbing on the other’s back, or handing them something sweet and a glass of water after they’d gotten it all out. Someone to lean on, that's what she was, and she liked being able to provide that comfort for others. It made her feel helpful, like she made a difference.
Like any other girl, Ochako had her problems. Navigating puberty while also training to become a hero was incredibly difficult at times, and she'd admit that she's wanted to throw in the towel at times. Maybe she wasn't fit for this, maybe it was just a delusion, a dream based on fairytales and comicbooks, not on reality. But talking to the other girls had helped. It was comforting to know she wasn't alone, and that Ashido felt crappy every once in a while as well, or that Tsu had been reluctant to receive calls from home after they moved into their dorms because of the difficult conversations they brought on. When salt stained her face in the cold of her own room, she felt the most connected to any other girl in the world.
Love was something Ochako was all too familiar with. Loving family, loving her friends. The brunette had so much love stored inside of her, for even the smallest creatures. Ochako loves everything, she loves life, she loves people and animals, she loves plants. She loves crying and being sad, because she always feels better after. She loves hardship and struggle, gritting her teeth and pushing through. It made the eventual victory all the more satisfying.
All that's to say is that Ochako is a normal girl, with problems and friends, with secrets and outstretched arms to anyone who might need them.
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What did normal mean? Ochako pressed her lips into a line as she considered the question. It was something that came up on the last sleepover she had with the other girls. Her ceiling was dark as she stared up at the white paint, the thought ringing through her mind. Simply giving the definition of the word wasn't really enough to truly describe what it meant, because it was subjective. Her normal wasn't the same as Asui’s normal. Still, people bullied each other for not fitting within the norm, so what did it mean to be “normal”?
Many times, Ochako has imagined what life would be like in someone else's shoes, with different parents and a different home, a different couch in the living room. How would it impact her, had she been any less normal than that which was deemed acceptable by the world? If her parents had money, or if she had a less powerful quirk, would she have even attempted to enroll in UA, or would she have taken on a normal job, like a therapist or something?
Sighing, Ochako grabbed her flip phone and opened it. The numbers on the screen read 2:54. All of her classmates must be asleep by now, unless they wanted to fail their practical exams in a few hours. The ceiling looked just as plain as it did five minutes ago. Her breathing sounded exactly the same as it did with her last breath.
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Liking girls wasn't normal. Maybe that was something abnormal about Ochako. She had average brown eyes, average brown hair, and she fancied a girl every now and then. It was something she only truly discovered when she was around 14, when staring at a Mt. Lady magazine gave her some weird feelings. Still, none of the other girls seemed interested in them, so maybe she was just… wrong, or weird. Talking about it wasn't easy, because who would she ask– her parents? Absolutely not. It had already taken immense amounts of courage to simply accept this part of her, flawed as it may be.
It was only when Jirou had opened up about her own affections for girls that she found out she wasn't alone. With her admission, some of the other girls spoke up about their own experiences, their feelings around boys and girls. Like there was more to love than just finding some guy to settle down with, like she had options besides marrying and having kids.
Still– not many girls liked other girls. It wasn't the norm, it still made Ochako an outlier in some way. She was normal, besides the fact that she was studying at UA, besides her love of other girls and besides her less than comfortable childhood. That was what- three traits? Would that still make her normal, or was she an outcast by now?
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Meeting Himiko Toga– truly meeting her, getting to talk to her– kind of tossed over her now almost solidified ideas of herself and the world. Her sharp canines and slit pupils, her wide smile. She was her opposite, in ways. A girl who loves so much, but whose love was never expressed “correctly.” She didn't hug someone, she drank their blood to feel connected to them. She took a part from them and made it one with her own body, to always keep them close to her heart. Giving and sharing, in her own special way.
At first, Ochako had thought that she was creepy– she'd even been afraid of her knives, afraid of her quirk and her viciousness. She didn't care about her, because she was nothing more than a villain wishing harm upon her and her friends. But now– now that it was too late, she understood. Understood what it was like, mulling over Toga’s words day and night while the girl’s blood coursed through her own veins, her last connection to her. Being an outcast, being treated like a stain on the carpet instead of a person. Being alone.
She sees it now. Before the war, she'd been so closed-minded. She simply accepted a person’s morality at face value, not considering their feelings like she did for the people closest to her. A villain was a villain, and villains are bad. But reaching out to the blonde while bleeding out– the idea that everything could have been different– that Toga could've been alive and happy right now… It only made the brunette wallow in her grief longer. She truly looked beautiful, with her teeth as white as a snowed-on meadow, her yellow eyes alight with a hope so childlike– so raw. She was never a lost cause, and had Ochako realised it sooner, maybe she could've been saved now.
The clock read 1:36. Maybe she should start journaling her thoughts instead of simply letting them float around her mind like ghouls plaguing the protagonist of some indie horror movie. Her friends… as much as she wanted to, could she ever bring this up without getting weird looks? Sympathizing with someone who's done so much harm, a broken and battered girl who only wanted to be loved. Ochako would've given her everything she could to see her happy again. To hug her and talk to her, to feel the blonde’s soft skin against her own again, littered with tiny scars. To touch her hair, to hear her voice and look her in the eyes.