Chapter Text
It was late in the evening and you had finally finished a grueling eight hour shift which had been followed by two hours of shadowing and training, so it was safe to say that you were starving and exhausted. Once you had been dismissed for the day, you somehow had managed to drag your fatigued body through the winding corridors on the Finalizer from the control room all the way to the cafeteria, which were a great distance apart, much to your dismay.
The irritating distance that you had to walk after a long shift, only then to eat the crappy food supplied at the cafeteria, pissed you off to put it lightly. So often times you would skip dinner entirely, opting instead to snack on the rations that you had managed to squirrel away in your quarters. Tonight though, you were forced to embark upon the tedious journey as your own personal supply of food was cleared out and you were far too hungry to wait until the next morning to eat. Just how hungry you were in that moment was proven by the fact that when you approached the cafeteria doors, the normally wretched smell that wafted through the hallways actually smelled good to you.
You quickly selected your food items from the small and grim selection on offer and gazed over the room, looking for somewhere to sit. You balanced the thin metal tray in your slightly shaking hands the best that you could manage, with each careful, calculated step you took across the mess hall, the contents of your tray shifted slightly from side to side, threatening to crash to the floor and spill at any moment.
This was the first and last time you would get soup, it hadn’t even looked that good and it was certainly not worth the hassle it had taken to keep it steady all the way to your table on the opposite side of the room.
You had fixated your gaze on the hot, lumpy and reddish liquid that swirled around in the large white bowl. You had almost scowled at it, as though daring it to spill out over the confines of the bowl and land all over your new, clean uniform.
To make matters worse for you, the cafeteria was bustling and was entering in to it's most busy part of the day. The large room was filled almost to capacity with different levels of employee's of the First Order, from Troopers to Officers. So dropping your tray, or spilling the contents all over yourself would definitely not go unnoticed among your fellow employees. Making a spectacle of yourself was something you most definitely wanted to avoid doing. You were already in a pretty bad mood because of how tired you were, so you didn't want to make an ass of yourself on top of that.
You had only been an employee of the First Order for just over a month and already you seemed to have the reputation of being something of a clumsy idiot among the rest of the staff aboard the vessel. This, along with the fact that so far you weren't exactly performing to your full potential in your new job as an Officer in training, had circulated quickly and you almost immediately found yourself under the radar of a certain terrifying red headed General.
It was not as if in your short time aboard the Finalizer you had done anything exceptionally wrong, you hadn’t at all, but it quickly became evident to you that that was entirely besides the point. Any errors, whether they were small or large, were taken rather seriously here. It was also more to do with the fact that, for some reason, you seemed to completely lack focus which very much reflected in your overall performance.
Being anything other than exceptional was of course considered a failure, especially when your superior, General Hux, was such an obsessive perfectionist who lived and breathed the First Order. When it came to handling and executing each task presented to him, he did it to the utmost perfection. Always going above and beyond to ensure everything was done correctly. This was the standard he held every employee to and you were no exception to that rule.
His displeasure towards you had been made clear to you quite early on, after yet another report of your inadequacy was relayed to him by one of the Officers you had been shadowing, highlighting the fact that you were proving to be incompetent in the most simplistic of tasks, which you felt was somewhat of an over exaggeration.
It was not as though you were bad at your job, academically you had surpassed all other students at the academy you had attended. Furthermore you had been the one most had predicted would go on to do great things. No you weren’t bad at your job, General Hux’s standards for excellence were just ridiculously high.
You had soon realised why he was so feared throughout the ranks. His mere presence alone exuded so much power, it commanded so much respect and screamed that his authority was never one to be questioned or scoffed at. The man's face always seemed to be twisted in a permanent look of contempt as though he found absolutely no pleasure in life and that everything around him was just a continuous string of disappointments.
His appearance was almost a complete reflection of what you had imagined the organised, workaholic would look like. Although the fact that he was very attractive had come as something of a surprise to you. He was clad head to toe in a black uniform that always seemed to be impossibly clean and crease free, it clung to his tall, lithe form perfectly as though it was his second skin. The General's fiery red hair was combed neatly back out of his pale face and it always appeared to remain that way, not a strand dared to fall out of place. It was hard to imagine that he could ever be casual, even when no one was around to see him, you often you wondered if a sleeping Hux would still manage to look so formal and serious. You figured it must have been stressful to maintain that level of excellence all of the time and it was something you most certainly did not envy of him.
The first time the General reprimanded you, you had only been under his employment for slightly over a week, which made the fact that you already had to be disciplined all the more humiliating.That, mixed with the fear of being under Hux’s stern and merciless gaze, had made you want to just run back to your quarters and cocoon yourself within the safe confines of your duvet.
It was almost unheard of, that someone would manage to mess up in such a short time, but somehow you had managed it. Your indiscretion was hardly anything of spectacular consequence, you hadn't backed up some files on ship repairs and had managed to delete the only remaining copies, which set back work progress by about an hour.Nothing major, but time efficiency was of course something the General was very sensitive to, so your mistake was a red flag to him immediately.
Being reprimanded had gone just about as well as you had expected it to. You had of course found the one to one experience with the General to be completely terrifying. He didn't once raise his voice to you though. No, he was much too professional for that. It was not something he needed to do anyway, his voice, although calm and collected made it perfectly clear that underneath his professional exterior, he was furious that you were already causing him so many unnecessary issues.
You remembered when you had walked into his office that first time, he had had his back to you, his eyes fixated upon his data pad, flicking through reports casually. During the few fleeting moments that you had waited for him to turn around and acknowledge your existence, you found your eyes wandering curiously over his uniform clad body. Up until that point, you had only observed the fearsome man from a distance and you had found him pretty hot you had to admit, but you had a whole new appreciation for the man up close.
He had looked over in your direction before you had a chance to take your eyes off of him and there was no doubt in your mind that he knew you had been checking him out. A deep blush had crept up on your face from the realisation that you had been caught, fear and humiliation were most definitely your leading emotions at that point. You had expected him to reprimand you for obvious inappropriate behaviour towards your superior, but instead he just cocked an eyebrow at you and his face displayed a look of mild confusion. It did not last long however, as soon he had turned to face you, his normal disgruntled expression returned and thankfully no more was mentioned about the incident. You had thought perhaps that maybe he had not made the connection that you had been admiring him after all.
It seemed as though you were constantly in and out of General Hux's office after that, no matter how minor your mistakes seemed to be, he would be alerted to your short comings and you would once again wind up on the receiving end of his disapproving stare. You were unsure as to whether you were self sabotaging your work just so you could be in the same room as him again, but at the same time, the man terrified you so you also wanted to avoid him like the plague. It was a rather confusing situation that you found yourself in. If your subconscious mind was making you screw up on purpose, you really hoped that it would just stop already as there was only so much of Hux's blatant disappointment in you that you could take.
The man had made it quite clear to you that the only reason you had not been terminated from your post was that you had great potential and could, with the right guidance, be a great asset to the First Order. Though after you had ended up in his office for the fourth time, (for spilling coffee all over yourself and a console) you could tell his patience for you was growing scarily thin.
The only punishment you had ever received for your failures were a few hours of added overtime, which you had been given for destroying the console and this, you considered, was most definitely getting let off lightly. Colleagues of yours agreed that you were getting away with murder, that Hux was not being as harsh on you as he had been on others in the past, which baffled you as you had no reason to believe that Hux would ever give you preferential treatment. It was unheard of. The General had never been anything other than professional with you, you were by no means friends even in the context of the workplace. Other than having him bark orders at you daily or tell you off like an insolent child for your mistakes, you had never even spoken with him. Not even polite chit chat or small talk.
Maybe it appeared that you were being let off lightly, for the time being at least, but you knew it wouldn't be long before you infuriated the man to the point of being on the receiving end of some horrific punishment. Hux had more or less hinted towards that in your last meeting. His cold gaze had bore into you as he assured you with a low growl ,that the next time you made such a mistake, you would not fare so well. His parting words had sent shivers down your spine, so you had been making a conscious effort not to screw up and to stay the hell out of his way. No matter how much your body seemed to crave the thought of being alone in the same room as him, you knew you had to avoid him at all costs. This had been going well for all of four days, until disaster once again struck as you knew that eventually it would.
Your table was finally only a few meters away, you breathed a small sigh of relief and you almost relaxed for a moment, thinking that perhaps this time you were going to make it through a potentially disastrous moment incident free. You looked up finally from your tray for a few seconds and you became aware that your current predicament had caught the attention of a small table of Troopers who snickered at you with amusement. Your face had flushed a deep red from the realisation that you were being watched, that your reputation for being a klutz was not lost on the Troopers as they eagerly waited for you to make an idiot of yourself in some way.
You had found over your short time working here, that the Troopers could be total assholes, especially when they were sitting in with a group of their friends. Newbies in particular seemed to get the majority of their attention and they took joy in tormenting them in any way that they could. Fortunately you had managed to stay under their radar for the most part, being kind and polite to them whenever you could to avoid any negative feelings, but you had known that eventually you would end up being the brunt of their dumb jokes and pranks.
The last stretch was the most difficult part, you had to maneuver your way between a cluster of tables that were located inconveniently close together, while people rushed hurriedly past you. They moved back and forth from their seats, taking little notice of you as you narrowly missed being hit by elbows and getting pushed roughly from side to side.
You had almost past the last giggling Storm Trooper, your eyes dropped back down to your tray to avoid the irritating mans mocking gaze, but not before you noticed a glint of mischief flash across his features. He had nudged his colleague to get his attention, needing a spectator to witness what he no doubt thought was going to be an act of comedic genius. The other man caught his gaze and chuckled knowingly, his eyes resting on you in amusement, eagerly awaiting the show. By the time you had figured out what the man had been planning though, it was already too late.
He was no longer satisfied to wait for you to screw up on your own, so the bored Trooper decided to take matters into his own hands. His foot flew out in front of you, the tripping hazard being placed in your way with such perfect timing that there was no way you could have gone about avoiding it. You were screwed.
You let out a sharp cry as you felt your legs falling out from underneath you, no longer being able to support your weight as your body plummeted forward towards the ground. The metal tray flew out of your hands immediately, keeping the soup steady was no longer of importance as your hands instinctively flew to the ground in order to avoid taking the blunt impact of the fall straight to your face.
A pained yelp exited your mouth as your hands and knees connected with the grey floor abruptly and not long after, your dishes joined you. They clattered loudly by your side, so if everyone had not already noticed you fall, they most certainly would have been made aware of it by this point.
Anger boiled up inside of you and heat rose in your cheeks from sheer embarrassment as you lay in a pathetic heap on the floor, surrounded by your dishes and slightly coated in hot, vegetable soup.
It took all of the self control that you possessed not to get up from the floor and jab a spoon in that asshole Troopers eye! You were pretty damn sick of being the laughing stock of the Finalizer, you knew it was probably just harmless fun and he hadn't meant any malicious intent, but always being on the receiving end of the joke had started to really grate on you. No one, it seemed, took you seriously.
You waited for what seemed like an eternity for the hysterical laughter that was no doubt going to follow your humiliating display, to begin. Then, after a few torturous moments when it had not come, you had lifted your face slightly , which was flushed scarlet from embarrassment and rage, out of the soup puddle on the floor in an attempt to see what was going on.
That's when you realised that the cafeteria had grown eerily quiet, aside from a low growl that seemed to be emanating from above you. You had started to look up, precisely in front of your face were a pair of black boots so shiny that you could see your own face staring back at you in the reflection. Your heart began to pound loudly in your chest, the beats were so rapid that it felt as though your heart could burst free from your rib cage at any moment. Your breathing was low and shallow as you worked up the courage to continue moving your terrified gaze upwards.
Panic had begun to set in rather rapidly as your wide eyes followed up from the black boots, to a pair of thin, but slightly muscular and long legs. They then proceeded all the way up until your own eyes were met with the furious, blue gaze of an individual who looked as though he was about to pounce on top of you and tear your head off. Of all the people you had to inadvertently throw your dinner over, of course it had to be General Hux.
He glared down at you furiously, his normally immaculate hair had fallen loose over his face and dripped with red, chunky soup. The ordinarily spotless uniform he always managed to maintain so well, was splashed with heavy douses of the thick liquid and caused the black ensemble to look like some kind of hideous abstract painting. Hux's typically pale face had become flushed with rage, his nostrils flared as his anger quickly consumed him. He clenched his gloved fists tightly into a ball, his piercing blue eyes fixated upon your own, the intensity of the stare was enough to chill you to the bone. You had seen the General angry before, but not like this and most certainly not directed entirely at you. Normally you did not scare easily, but the General had an amazing ability to wrack your entire body with fear, which was annoying as you hated to appear weak.
You had somehow managed to coax your shaking legs up onto the floor, so that you could stand in front of him, the man was so close to you that you could almost feel his warm breath ghost across your face. As you tried to back up away from him slightly , he quickly closed the distance you had managed to create between you and his tall form loomed over your smaller one menacingly, his darkened gaze watching you as though daring you to run from him. As much as you truly wanted to do just that, you knew that would be the biggest mistake you could possibly make.
"General Hux! I..I'm so sorry!" You managed to stammer between shallow breaths.
The man did not reply and he had instead continued to stare at you with utter contempt. You had looked around hurriedly for something to wipe away at the mess you had created on the mans uniform, you knew that wouldn't help you erase what you had done at that point, but you knew that you had to try and do something.
There were a small pile of white napkins stacked haphazardly on the table where the Trooper who had tripped you sat. The man had his face lowered, hiding it behind his hand the best that he could as he concentrated his gaze upon the table, not daring to look up at you. Knowing full well that the wrath you were about to face from General Hux was all a result of his stupid, careless joke. No doubt he was terrified that you were going to drop him in it too, if you were to explain how the asshole had purposefully tripped you up, he would be facing a world of shit because of it. You knew better than to rat him in though, life on board the ship after doing something like that would not be worth living. Not only would you be known as a klutz, but also a snitch and there was no worse thing to be.
You grabbed a fistful of napkins and reached out with one of your trembling hands to wipe at the front of the mans uniform, but before you had managed to get too close to him, his own hand shot out and roughly grabbed your wrist, holding you in place.
"How dare you attempt to touch a superior without expressed permission (L/N)!" He hissed at you, his voice laced with venom as his already painful grip on your wrist tightened considerably more.
His vice like grasp on you did not lessen as you struggled to find an answer to defend your actions, you should have known better than to try and touch the man, but doing nothing seemed equally as stupid.
" I'm so sorry sir....I...I just wanted to help....fix it."
The General looked his uniform over, examining the extensive damaged you had managed to inflict on his usually perfect ensemble, his free hand ran through his soggy hair, pushing the loose, ginger strands back out from his face. You knew that the extent of his fury over the situation that had unfurled stemmed from the fact that you had made him look ridiculous in front of a room full of his inferiors and that it was you who had messed up yet again after he had warned you about your behaviour only a couple of short days before. It was an accident and you were certain that he knew this, but regardless of how and why it had happened, you would be punished for it, if not terminated from your post. It would seem like an overreaction to most people, but you knew that this small act was just the final straw for him after all the grief you had caused for him over the last couple of weeks.
The ginger General quickly regained his composure, his anger only getting in the way of his professionalism for a short moment. Unlike your other superiors, Kylo Ren in particular, General Hux was not known for having a wild temper, but this made him no less intimidating to you. In fact it only scared you more, at least if he shouted at you, you would have a better idea about what was to come, but no, he remained eerily cold and stoic. You almost missed his short lived anger.
" Your help is not required (L/N), I can assure you that you have done quite enough already."
Before he released his grip on you, he held you in place a few inches from him, his eyes surveyed you and surprisingly his gaze that had only moments ago been filled with utter contempt for you, seemed to soften as he examined your face more closely. His eyes trialed from your wide, terrified doe eyes and continued down until he noticed the subtle trembling of your full lips, it looked as though he was almost saddened that he had managed to instill such fear within in you. You could not be certain of it though, the man was rather difficult to read.
"Report to my office at 8am sharp tomorrow. Do not be late. I shall inform you of the disciplinary action I intend to take then."
You nodded your head quickly, before remembering to instead acknowledge him verbally with as much confidence as you could, " Yes Sir."
He took one last look at you before he turned on his heels to exit the room, he looked around him in annoyance at the sea of faces who eyed him with too much interest for his liking.
"Break is over. All of you get back to work immediately." He barked the order at them, causing a few people to jump slightly in their seats, before scrambling to their feet quickly to do exactly as he had instructed.
Once you were certain that the General had most definitely exited the room, you managed to let yourself breathe again. He had not dismissed you right there, which could have been taken as a good sign, but it also made you wonder if he perhaps had some worse form of punishment in mind. What that punishment would entail, you had no idea, but you knew it could not be good.
You wiped the worst of the food off of your uniform with the napkins that were still in your hand and then turned to glare at the Storm Trooper who had caused you to smack into the General. The Trooper had put his helmet back on and had attempted to slip away from you before you had the chance to notice. He wasn't fast enough though. You made yourself feel a bit better by letting off some steam on him with a few choice curse words and a string of creative insults. The Trooper had said nothing in response and had meekly scurried away from you pretty quickly after that.
Releasing some of your rage had been good while it had lasted, but the feeling was immediately replaced with panic and worry again as the Generals words played over and over in your head. The words had given you no clue as to what you were going to face when you met with him in the morning. You recalled the unnerving series of looks he had shot in your direction throughout the entire ordeal and you cursed slightly under your breath that you had allowed him to see just how much he had scared you. Whatever he had planned for you, you knew you had every reason to dread being alone in his office with him the following morning. You may have been exhausted, but it was safe to say that you would be getting no sleep that night.