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perseverance (in the face of grief)

Summary:

He had expected to wake up in the same old room that's not exactly his, with the bed and clothes that he can never exactly call his own.

Instead, he woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling.

Is this really the life of a supposedly normal sixteen-year-old south korean high school student?


Alternatively—Debut or Die, but make it highschooler Ryu Gunwoo in a timeline messed up from his original one.

(hiatus, in process of mild revising)

Notes:

By the time that I started writing this, I'm two months away from my college admissions test. I might die if I don't get into a public university this year, but I might also die from stress if I don't distract myself.... Anyway, I wanted to write Moondae as a maknae for the longest time... and then I found glazing's work and fell in a spiral of love and grief, and then I decided to submit to the sudden urge of writing Gunwoo as a maknae, so here we are.

Work title is the title of a song by Hindia, a very controversial Indonesian artist. He's silly. I love him. Please check him out.

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: A Minor Issue (Literally)

Notes:

31/03/26: revised for grammar mistakes

Chapter Text

Is it okay for a minor to live alone?

'Obviously not,' he thought. Had it been alright, then he would've been living alone already, away from his troublesome, imposing position in his relatives' household.

Ryu Gunwoo had fallen asleep after another night of studying—he wasn't sure when exactly he had fallen asleep, but that most likely meant that he had fallen asleep on his desk again, expecting neck pain and zero quality of sleep for the next morning.

—Right. He had expected to wake up in the same old room that wasn’t exactly his, with the bed and clothes that he could never call his own.

Instead, he woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling.

Is this really the life of a supposedly normal sixteen-year-old South Korean high school student?

He personally kept pride as someone who could keep his composure in most situations. After all, overreacting would only waste precious energy. He preferred efficiency, so he did his best to stay calm and assess the current situation. ‘But....’

The foreign room he woke up in was…truly less than accommodating. It barely passed as a room itself, honestly. He'd rather call it a storage room, with all the stacked boxes covering the peeling wallpaper. His nose wrinkled from the musty smell of dust in the air and the vague smell of rust from somewhere within the room.

‘This can’t be good for anyone's health in the long run.’

He pushed his heavy body up from the slightly hard mattress, looking around through a subtle blur before his fingers bumped into his glasses somewhere on the mattress. His eyesight isn't too bad, but he'd still rather be able to see things better than not.

He furrowed his eyebrows. The glasses were a bit dirty from rubbed stains and dust. Weird. He usually kept his glasses clean. Well, at least he could still see, and he'd rather put his top priority on confirming his current condition rather than anything else.

‘... Ah, I’m seriously in trouble.’

He had hoped his eyes were just messing with him, or his sleep debt had finally caught up with him and had started to give him weird dreams or even hallucinations. Yet, the mattress sheet he had been gripping with his hands and the biting cold air to his exposed skin felt too real to be fabricated.

‘... Did I get kidnapped?’

His breath caught up, and he almost tripped as he stood up from the mattress. He shivered when his bare feet touched the cold floor. He rushed to the door, but quickly stopped and calmed himself down before his hand could reach the door handle. What if his kidnapper is waiting outside? Then he'd just make things worse if he ran away in front of their face.

To begin with, he didn’t even know if he could get out—

‘Oh, there's a key dangling from inside.’

He calmed down his spiraling mind enough to see the key dangling still from inside and a sliding bolt safely latched, so he rationally came to a begrudging conclusion that no kidnapper would put their victim in a room that's locked from inside, unless they're here in the room—

‘No,’ he shook his head to reassure himself, 'there's no one here.'

He wouldn't have run straight to the door had he sensed anyone in that room. After all, he's...well, let's just say he's better than others at sensing people. A slightly weird way to say that he's pretty sensitive, but it's true, which made the current situation all the more baffling.

‘Where am I then? Did I sleepwalk to a stranger's room and lock the door out of instinctual self-safety? What kind of ridiculous mental disorder is that?’ If that was actually what happened, he'd probably be sent to a mental hospital and be used for research due to the sheer amount of ridiculousness of his case.

He groaned, bumping his forehead on the cool surface of the door. Actually, he probably shouldn't touch any surfaces of this room carelessly. Every single surface of this place looked like it hadn't been cleaned in weeks, barely save for the low mattress that probably fit more as a thick rug than a mattress.

How can anyone possibly live or even sleep here? This is exactly why his first thought was that he had been kidnapped. Who would've been willing to subject themself to this kind of mental torture in the form of living condition?

Honestly, he physically felt fine except for how cold his body felt at that moment, although his clothes were a bit different from what he remembered from the night before, his hands also felt just slightly smaller than usual....

‘... No way.’

He looked around. Seeing a glimpse of what seemed to be a sink mirror from the gap of an open door, he quickly rushed into there. He rummaged through the dark for a light switch. White filled his vision before his eyes eventually adjusted to see the reflection in the mirror of a cramped bathroom.

‘I...look normal?’

Save for the deeper eye bags and the paler complexion, he surprisingly looked…normal. Ah, maybe he had listened to too many transmigration webnovels from his classmates at school.... It's a hit genre these days, and he had the disadvantage of listening to whatever his classmates were interested in at the time, as he sat near the back of the class where his classmates usually gathered to talk.

He'd rather find somewhere quieter. Yet the thought of moving the stack of books from below his desk, which he used as additional study material, to somewhere else is just too troublesome, so he simply bears with the noises in his classroom by using the earphones he bought with his allowance.

‘What is even happening?’

He couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh, his legs giving up as he fell over the bathroom floor. Why is his life like this? What kind of unnatural force pushed him into this situation when all that he wanted was to quietly graduate from high school and move out? World, is that too much to ask? It's not like he asked to be filthy rich or for his parents to come back from the dead or something. Has he not lived an earnest life as it is?

He shook his head. No, snap out of it, Ryu Gunwoo. There had to be a logical explanation for this situation. Even in the transmigration webnovel he had often heard from his classmates, there was always a somewhat logical explanation for the main character's transmigration. Somewhat.

‘It’s also their rule that if you wake up to an unfamiliar ceiling, it's a different world.’ Well, this type of situation should be a light breakfast for normal Koreans. He should be able to figure things out if he put his mind into it.

With a fickle yet renewed sense of determination, he stood up from the bathroom floor. He made sure to thoroughly wash his hands before going back to the mattress he had previously woken up on. He inwardly apologized to whoever lived there in the first place for using their soap, if there's even any now, but not washing his hands after touching the bathroom that seemed to be unused for quite a while, to the point it's suspiciously dry and dusty, just felt wrong. 

He also made sure to splash some of the freezing water on his face to get a better grip on reality. Well, at least the water was running, and the electricity worked well too, so whoever lived there probably paid the bills properly. Though he doubted the yellowing heater at the other side of the room was working as it was supposed to.... He shivered on the mattress, looking at the musty blanket that had fallen to the floor when he had stood up.

He tried to push whatever discomfort he felt at the moment to assess his current situation. If he sorts this the way he usually does when he's cramming, it concludes with a few main issues:

 

1. Where am I?

 

2. What happened after I fell asleep?

 

These two are the most important questions with answers that can lead to his next decision.

 

3. Can I go back?

 

‘... Let's just deal with the first issue.’

It didn’t feel like he was outside Korea or anything, but who knows? The current situation is already unthinkable in itself, so it wouldn't hurt him to prepare for a worse scenario. He calmed himself by breathing manually as he looked around the room. Boxes, boxes, and boxes. Not even a cupboard or anything to store clothes or food, assuming that someone lived here, from the mattress he's currently sitting on. Or maybe whoever lived here stored their stuff in the boxes?

Before he could think of searching through the boxes, his eyes landed on a small stool, which looked like a makeshift table, beside the mattress. On top of it was a phone, a medicine container, and a piece of paper.

‘… A phone?’

It's the older type of phone without a touchscreen, but a phone nonetheless. He grabbed the phone and silently prayed that there'd be battery left, which honestly didn't seem likely, judging by the thin layer of dust layering the screen and keyboard of the phone. Seriously, how can anyone live there and not have lung issues?

Unfortunately, he couldn't turn the phone on even after pressing the power button for a long time, just as he thought, but he cheered himself up and counted it as luck when he saw the charger left beside an electric socket. He carefully plugged the charger into the socket before connecting the cable to the phone. It never hurts to be careful, seeing the far from stellar livable condition of this room and all....

Now, back to the only visible stuff around the room: the piece of paper, medicine, and a suspiciously similar-looking bag to the hand-me-down shoulder bag that he got from his uncle years ago, right beside the socket where he was charging the phone. While he waited for the phone to turn on, he decided to check the bag, silently apologizing to, again, whoever lived here.

If he could just find a clue to whoever lived there....

Inside the bag, surprisingly enough, were filled with textbooks similar to the ones Gunwoo used. Did this person go to the same school as him? Does that mean they're still minors? His eyes caught sight of a wallet in the side pockets of the bag.

'... I'm sorry, original resident.' Gunwoo constantly prayed that his apology would be sent, even though he doubted that whatever unnatural force was messing with him would send it. He took the simple wallet and opened it.

‘... Why is my student ID there?’

He rubbed his eyes and read over the ID again.

This is… Ryu Gunwoo's school ID card, without a doubt.

No, there was some doubt. He turned the card up and back. The student number was different, the issued date was different—no, to begin with, the school itself was different from his. But his name remained the same, and of course, his face and expression in the picture remained the same as well, despite the simple change of background color from the picture.

Did he suddenly replace someone's life? Is that it, unnatural force? Why the fu—

 

[Outbreak!]

 

[Status Abnormality: 'Debut or Die'!]

 

 “…!”

"… What the fuck?"

 

['Debut or Die']

[If you don't debut as an idol within the time limit, you will die.]

[Remaining period: D-365]

 

He truly said it.

Fuck you, unnatural force. Fuck you for messing with him and his mind. What the hell is life even?

"Is this some kind of joke?" He read over the bold text written on the floating red screen. Why is it so creepy? What did he do? What the hell did he do in his past and current life to deserve this messed-up situation?

He tried to move the screen to close it, but his hand simply went through the screen. 

He couldn't understand.

He was just pulling an all-nighter to study so he wouldn't have to deal with his anxious mind over another insomnia round, so why did he have to wake up in a different place, and now with these nonsense words floating in front of him?

"... Fuck." He let out a harsh sigh, practically curling up on the floor, pulling his hair. He did a poor attempt to imitate the breathing technique his counselor had taught him previously. ‘In for four, hold for seven, out for eight, repeat....’

Even after his lungs had calmed down, the red screen still mockingly displayed the creepy words blindingly.

"... Debut or die…." So, if he doesn't debut within the year, he'll die? What, as soon as it reaches a year, he'll get a killer disease and die or something? Funny. Was this even legal? How was he supposed to debut when he didn't even know his living situation?

"Did I really just transmigrate and replace someone's life?" The screen didn't even flicker with a single answer.

‘Is this even fair? Even if you want to just curse someone, shouldn't you at least help them adjust if they're in a new situation? Wasn't that the common decency anywhere in this world?’

 

[Review submitted!]

 

The screen finally flickered, only to be followed by a smaller blue window on top of the bloody red window. The words showed before it morphed into a loading circle. Is this a system of sorts that only hears you when you swear at it?

 

[Request received! Gift is being sent...]

 

[Host has received a gift!]

 

[Open gift?]

[Yes] [Yes]

 

"Ha-ha."

‘This system is messing with me.’

Was this supposed to be funny? What about the Yes/Yes option? ‘Are you asking me, or are you harassing me?’

He massaged his forehead, momentarily forgetting how cold he had felt in that room, with his emotions heating his body. If this system or whatever was planned to mess with him, then he had no choice but to play along until he found a way out.

"Yes."

The small blue window flickered.

 

[Gift received!]

 

[Host has received 'Daydreamer’s Data Collection']

 

‘Data? Daydreamer?’

"Is this supposed to help me debut?"

The screen didn't respond, but he felt as if it could speak, the answer would’ve been yes. Just like the ridiculous harassing option of Yes/Yes.

He sighed. A glass of water would've been nice at the moment, or food, or anything to relieve the headache blurring his rational judgement. Right. Food. Whatever the situation is, it's important to eat and live. Especially in a weird situation, he can't afford to be picky.

... Although he doubted there would be anything edible here.

'Right, where did Ryu Gunwoo from the previous night put his clothes?'

If he had actually lived here, that would mean that he should've kept his food and clothes here. There wasn't any place for storing in the cramped bathroom before, which means....

"It's in one of those boxes."

Right. Those dusty boxes he wished he didn't have to open, if ever.

"... Anyway, I'll have to open those boxes eventually."

He gripped the wallet and stood up, mentally pushing away the gnawing hunger in his stomach. If he wanted to eat, he'd have to check whether he could buy food or not. If he wanted to buy food, he'd have to make sure he could eat it. At this point, he couldn't just hold onto his experience so far. There was the looming possibility that this Gunwoo had lived a completely different life. Information is the key.

'Alright. First, documents. Then clothes, food, and anything else come after.

He rolled up his sleeves, ignoring the cold air freezing his exposed arms. There was an important task right now, so much so that he was forced to ignore the evil layers of dust from the surface of the boxes.

He paused for a second, eyeing the looming screen beside him. The more he looked at it, the more menacing it felt. Maybe it was trying to tell him to open the gift.

"But there are more important things to do right now."

He looked at the screen, quietly asking for it to turn off. 'I'll deal with you later, I promise. Thank you for the gift or whatever, so can you please go away for now? I might get an aneurysm if I continue to see you.'

Ever the benevolent, the screen flickered and disappeared. Finally.

Now, back to business.