Chapter Text
Their eyes had been on her from the moment she walked through the door; the new girl, petite and doe-eyed, clutching a shiny, unblemished notebook against her stomach like a life-preserver.
Laura sighs and rolls her shoulders back. Even now she can’t shake the feeling of people watching her. Her fingers curl around the gold locket hanging against her collarbone. She should have picked a desk in the back. Why hadn’t she sat in the back?
Due entirely to habit, she’d picked the second to last desk in the front row. The desks were ancient and wooden, much like the ancient stone buildings that housed the dorms and the classrooms. Even the windows were Gothic, stretching nearly floor to ceiling in wrought iron frames.
Once upon a time the school had probably risen from the forest like a gem, but now the buildings are crumbling. Paint peels from the walls and rust gathers in the corners, the floors scratched and dented. Outside the trees grow close and the clouds hang low, cradling the school in mist and mystery. Not far from the room where Laura sits, the campus extends to Lake Mira, raised on concrete above the grey water where a natural cliff’s edge used to be. The damp air is pierced only by the nearby clang and whir of the ongoing construction for a new campus to eventually replace the old one, and even that is distant within the stone halls of the Robespierre building.
Laura stares at her desk, at the bright new notebook, and at the cookie shaped pencil case her dad had found for her the day before they moved. He’d dropped her off Friday morning at the time specified on the move-in day schedule, stayed long enough to fill her tiny dorm room with boxes, and disappeared in a haze of September rain and gravel dust.
She understood, of course. She knew it wasn’t like he wanted to be away from her. It’s just that he had to meet with the new landlord to get the keys to his apartment at four, the drive was long, his new job started on Monday; normal, everyday stuff.
The teacher, a graceful woman with skin like polished ebony and an endless smile, glides back and forth across the front of the room.
“Welcome to your first day of American History. I am Ms. Belmonde and I will be your teacher for this semester,” she says, shiny blue heels clicking on the dirty tile.
A piece of sheet rock dislodges from the ceiling and hits the floor with a hollow crack, a small cloud of dust and particles following it down. Two students in the back snicker loudly. Ms. Belmonde narrows her eyes at them and they fall silent. Laura glances over her shoulder in surprise and finds the other students stone-faced and still.
She quickly turns back around. Did they know something she didn’t?
“The rules are simple: act like adults, complete your assignments, and participate in class discussions. All assignments and due dates are included in the syllabus. If you have questions you can ask me after class or I will be available after school until five o’clock in my office.”
Ms. Belmonde pauses, her eyes drifting over them. No one so much as scuffs their shoes on the floor.
“I also see that we have a new student. Laura Hollis, would you mind standing up and introducing yourself to the class?” she asks brightly.
Laura blinks and straightens up. Ms. Belmonde raises an eyebrow at her, her black, manicured nails flashing against her white dress.
“Right, yeah, uh...” Laura scrambles to her feet and turns to face the class. “Hi, I’m Laura, which I guess you already know, sort of, and I... am from Toronto. Which is kinda my whole thing, actually. Not much else to report.”
“No hobbies? Interests?” Ms. Belmonde asks.
“Well…”
The door to the classroom bangs open and Laura jumps, her hand going to the locket around her neck. A girl with long, dark hair and icy white skin storms in, her mouth set in a scowl. She tosses a hall pass at Ms. Belmonde and chucks her bag against the wall, before crashing into the desk next to Laura’s like a hurricane.
And all while Laura stands there awkwardly, the eyes of her classmates on her back and the dread of it slowly creeping up her spine.
“Carmilla! This behavior will cease immediately!” Ms. Belmonde chastises.
The whispering begins again.
“Do I look like I’m planning on getting up any time soon, Mattie?” Carmilla says, picking at her nails.
“Miss Karnstein you will not speak in that tone within these walls, do you understand?”
“If I must.”
Ms. Belmonde purses her lips and turns back to the class, “I apologize Laura, please go on.”
“It’s okay, I didn’t really have anything else to say anyway.” Laura sits back down, hands fidgeting in her lap. Who walks into a class like that? Talks to a teacher like that? Laura glances at Carmilla. Carmilla’s staring at her, her eyes black like the night.
Carmilla snorts and goes back to her nails.
Laura frowns, her face flushing in embarrassment, and turns back to the lesson. She isn’t going to let one rude person ruin her first day. In fact, she’s going to make the absolute best of her day, just to spite whoever this Carmilla girl is.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard Laura focuses, she never quite forgets that Carmilla is a seat away from her.
Carmilla won’t stop moving. Either she’s twining a lock of hair around her finger or bouncing her feet, adjusting her slouch, head down on the desk with her hands dangling over the edge; every five seconds it’s something new and obnoxious.
Laura falls farther and farther behind on her notes, silently cursing Carmilla every second of every interruption. Seriously, what was her problem? If she was going to show up late and not pay attention, why come to class at all?
After an hour and fifteen unbearable minutes, Ms. Belmonde brings the lesson to a close. Laura sighs in relief and takes her time with the last few sentences. When she finally looks up she realizes that there are only three of them left in the room: herself, Ms. Belmonde, and Carmilla.
Carmilla slouches in her chair, eyes fixed on the floor, arms crossed. Ms. Belmonde leans on the edge of the teacher’s desk casually surveying the room, or at least everything that isn’t Carmilla. In fact, the two of them are outright avoiding each other.
Oh.
“Sorry, I’ll just…” Laura throws her bag over her shoulder and bolts for the door. No way she wants to be around when that bomb drops.
Out in the hall she unfolds her schedule and finds the room number for her next class. R123. Laura tilts her head in confusion. Why was there a letter at the front?
Laura walks down the hall to 123, but of course it’s empty, and she stands there wondering what to do next. As far as she knows there’s only one building, which means that her next class is apparently missing.
“Excuse me? Is there anything I can help you with?” A girl with explosive red curls and a rosy pale complexion wearing a black, velvet turtleneck appears beside Laura and nods to her schedule. Laura looks up in surprise. The girl has a little gold badge pinned to her shirt that says hall monitor. Oh. Right.
“Yeah, I can’t seem to find my chemistry class?” Laura says, smiling awkwardly.
“Oh, yes, yes, those have already been moved to the new building. The science equipment in this building is so old my grandmother used it when she went here. Only they aren’t changing the building names, so the schedules got a little mixed up in the whole kerfuffle. If you just go down this hallway and out past the library you’ll run right into it. It’s a very large, very modern monstrosity. Quite hard to miss,” the girl explains.
“Wow, I totally would not have figured that out. It’s my first day, like, ever,” Laura says sheepishly.
“Oh, how wonderful! I’m Lola Perry, but everyone just calls me Perry.”
“Laura. Thank you so much!”
“Oh, it’s no problem,” Perry says. She is, in fact, very happy to help. Students like Laura are the reason she became a hall monitor in the first place, after all.
Laura smiles and goes bounding down the hall. Perry watches her disappear, head tilted ever so slightly in thought. Perry hadn’t realized they had a new student. She seems like a lovely young girl. A great addition to the Silas family.
Perry turns and continues down the hall, absentmindedly looking into every classroom as she passes. It’s her job as hall monitor to keep track of everything, including students in empty classrooms. She knows the other monitors don’t take the job so seriously, but that just means she keeps an extra close eye on things to make up for it.
As she nears the end of the hall, two sharp voices drift out to meet her. An argument. Perry squares her shoulders and marches forward, intent on breaking up whatever little squabble has broken out this time.
“Imagine my surprise when I picked up my schedule this morning and realized that my one and only sister is completing her student teacher requirement at our very own Silas Academy.”
“Our placements are chosen based on a compatibility exam.”
Perry scurries back, pressing herself to the wall behind the door. It can’t be. It was impossible. Carmilla? Talking to Mattie? She’s absolutely positive she’s hallucinating. Mattie can’t be at Silas. That’s absurd!
She creeps forward and peers through the window in the door. Mattie and Carmilla are indeed standing at the front of the classroom. Carmilla has her chest jutted out like she’s ready to fight, her arms crossed, her words laced with teeth. Mattie doesn’t appear to care, her posture relaxed, and her hands clasped in front of her.
“Oh, is that why you didn’t tell me you were coming back?” Carmilla mocks.
Mattie shakes her head, “If mother had found out I told you before it was finalized…”
“Really? You think I’d tell mother?”
“Of course not! But when has that ever stopped her before? Contacting you is a direct violation of my contract with her and my placement here gave her the perfect excuse to check to make sure I was keeping up my half of the bargain. If she’d discovered we’d been in contact that would have given her more reason to reject it and destroy the contract, even as infrequent as it’s been. I made a strategic decision, Carmilla, to benefit all of us. If you want to throw a tantrum that is your prerogative. I, on the other hand, don’t have the luxury.”
“You could have,” Carmilla snaps.
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, darling.”
“You were free, Mattie! You made that deal with mother and you went to college and you never had to come back here ever again! But you did. And you shouldn’t have.”
Mattie deflates, her expression softening as she stands and approaches Carmilla.
“I couldn’t very well drop out of my master’s program just to avoid Silas. Besides, this allows us time to see each other without mother necessarily finding out. Her minions here still need to perform their actual jobs, after all. For all I despise of this place, teaching here is an opportunity that could change all of our lives for the better.”
“But that doesn’t mean it’s not dangerous!”
“I can handle a little danger, my dear. And all the more reason too, if it means I’m able to spend time with my favorite little monsters.”
Carmilla huffs, her shoulders dropping in defeat. Mattie smirks and lifts Carmilla’s chin with a long delicate finger.
“Come now,” she murmurs, tucking Carmilla’s hair behind her ear, “Don’t you worry about your big sis. I know we haven’t spoken much in the last two years, but things have changed more than you know.”
Carmilla allows herself to be enveloped in a hug, burying her face in Mattie’s collarbone and wrapping her arms around Mattie’s torso. Mattie runs her fingers through Carmilla’s hair.
“I’m still pissed,” Carmilla growls softly.
“I know,” Mattie replies. Carmilla rolls her eyes and grabs her backpack off the floor.
“Tell William for me, won’t you?” Mattie calls after her.
Carmilla flashes the peace sign and disappears into the hall, leaving Mattie to clean up her things and return to her temporary office.
Perry holds her breath as Carmilla tears past, too absorbed in her own thoughts to even glance in Perry’s direction. Once she’s gone Perry peels herself off of the wall and steps into the doorway.
Mattie doesn’t notice at first, lips pursed and head down as she stuffs handouts and gradebooks back into her briefcase.
Perry feels the air leave her lungs in one shallow breath. She can’t stop herself, her eyes raking over Mattie again and again in a desperate attempt to devour all the little things that had changed in the last three years. Her hair, long and straight. Her face, sharper and wiser. A gold watch on her wrist instead of the leather one. All of it wrapped up in a confidence that lacked teenage clumsiness and ego. A miracle.
Perry takes another step. Mattie looks up and her lips part in surprise, a name at the tip of her tongue. She’d known, of course, that eventually they would meet again. It wasn’t exactly a secret that one of Silas’s straight-A students was repeating a year.
“Can I help you?” Mattie asks, straightening up. Perry blinks, the spell breaking like cold water being splashed in her face.
“I heard an argument. I was just checking… well, I guess it doesn’t really matter. You’re clearly on your way out and I don’t want to impose or anything-”
“I don’t want my return to Silas to be uncomfortable for you,” Mattie interrupts. Perry smooths her hands across her pants and licks her lips.
“That’s very considerate of you.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
Mattie turns back to her briefcase, buckling it shut and retrieving her coat from the back of her chair. Perry watches, brow furrowed. She knows she should leave, run for the hills or what have you, but a question is burning at the tip of her tongue.
“Are you okay?”
Mattie considers the question, “Carmilla is upset, but it’s nothing to worry about. I’ve dealt with worse.”
“But… but are you okay?”
Mattie looks up at her with calm and measured patience. Perry finds herself unable to look away, unable to move, unable to think of anything else but Mattie, Mattie, Mattie.
“Do you think that is an appropriate question for a student to ask a teacher?” Mattie asks, walking in front of Perry. Perry feels an old wound open in her chest, an anger that spills over the edges of the world. She purses her lips and stands her ground.
“Yes, I’m okay,” Mattie says. She brushes by Perry and stalks to the door. Perry waits until the echo of her steps in the hall has faded away before she lets out a shuddering breath and presses her hands to her heart.
Alright then. Okay. Everything was okay.
On the other side of the building, an office door closes, and stays closed, for several hours.
~~~
Thanks to her scholarship, Laura’s last class period of the day is actually two hours of clerical work for the main office. The office secretary smiles and twirls her glasses and with a bony finger points to a back staircase with dirty windows and a deadly hand rail.
And Laura, in the newest installment of worst first day ever, finds herself in the basement of the Robespierre building.
The basement is one long room filled with musty boxes and creaking shelves. The sound of rats isn’t so much background noise as it is theme music, and the cobwebs look like they could be home to a small child, let alone a very caffeinated spider. Laura groans. This is going to be just fantastic.
At the sound of her discomfort, two people pop up from behind a table piled high with filing cabinet drawers. The first is a brunette with huge eyes and an excited smile, the second a ginger with a crooked grin and a confident swagger.
“Hello! You must be our dear new friend, Laura Hollis,” the first exclaimed, shuffling around to clasp her hand, “My name is JP. I’m kind of your boss, but only because I’m a senior and I’ve been here longer. This is Lafontaine! They’re with the science department!”
“What’s up, newbie? You ready to get your hands dirty?” Lafontaine asks.
“Uh, yeah, this isn’t exactly what I pictured when they said I’d be an office assistant,” Laura admits.
“Fair. However,” they pull something bulky and terrifying from behind a box, “It is so much cooler than stapling roll sheets for Stella upstairs.”
“Cool is not the word I would use,” Laura says, backing up towards the stairs.
“Oh, don’t be alarmed, newbie. This is just distillation equipment from last century. Mostly used for science, but this school was in fact built before prohibition so perhaps some other kinds of experiments as well,” JP says.
“All the old science equipment is still down here, which is why I get to hang out with you guys,” Lafontaine says slyly.
“Oh. That’s...honestly so much better than I expected.”
JP laughs and picks up a broom, “Yes, Silas does have quite the reputation.”
“Reputation? This place is weird,” Lafontaine says, dumping the equipment in a box before dragging a ladder out from behind more junk.
“I sort of figured that out,” Laura says, sequestering herself in a corner where nothing appears to be moving.
“Trust me, you have seen nothing. The cooks keep live chickens behind the toolshed and they have literally gotten into the girls showers, the library, onto the roof-”
“Don’t forget Principal Trudy’s office!” JP calls. Lafontaine points and nods, eyes wide and fearful.
“It’s like the movie Birds if it was actually Flightless Birds and specifically chickens! And technically there haven’t been any injuries, but there’s still time. It’s only day one of the new year!”
“Laf and the chickens have a history,” JP explains. Laura laughs and grabs the dust pan to assist with the growing pile of ick in the middle of the floor. Okay, so maybe the school isn’t all bad.
“Lafontaine?” A voice floats down the stairs.
“We’re here Per!”
Perry appears at the bottom of the stairs, her arms full of books, “There you are! I thought you would have been in the new lab!”
“Sorry, Per. I totally forgot we were starting clean-up duty today! And, we have a newbie!”
Laura raises her hand in greeting and Perry smiles brightly, “We’ve met!”
“Perry helped me find my chemistry class.”
“Oh, hey! You must have been in the new building! What did you think?” Lafontaine asks.
“It was honestly the nicest lab I’ve ever been in, though I’m not sure that’s going to prevent me from sucking at chemical compounds,” Laura says.
“Nah, you’ve got me now. You’ll be reciting the periodic table in no time!”
“I don’t know. Between that and Ms. Belmonde’s class-”
“Woah woah woah, Belmonde? Mattie Belmonde?” Laf asks, turning to Perry, “Please tell me this is not what I think it is! You didn’t know did you?”
“Lafontaine, it’s alright. She’s just teaching a few history courses. I had no idea until…” Perry pauses, mouth open, her eyes flicking from one thing to the next.
“Until what?”
“I may have bumped into her this morning, but there’s no need to worry! She said she didn’t want this to be uncomfortable and I agreed, so it’s all taken care of.”
Lafontaine stares at Perry in utter disbelief.
“JP?” they ask.
“I’m quite certain I saw a flame thrower just a few moments ago.”
“That will definitely work,” Laf agrees, joining JP in digging out a few medieval torture devices.
“Oh my god,” Laura says.
“Lafontaine!” Perry shrieks.
“She broke your heart, Per! Plus she’s just an all around asshole in general. Are we really going to let it slide? Just say, ‘hey no worries about that one time you nearly destroyed my best friend’s life! We’re all good now!’ Really?” Lafontaine shouts.
“That is exactly what we’re going to do! It’s been three years! I don’t… I don’t want to deal with this all over again,” Perry argues.
Laura watches them in terrified silence, catching JP’s eye along the way. He smiles apologetically.
“Sorry, what’s happening?” Laura asks.
“Mattie- uh, Ms. Belmonde, used to be a student here. She graduated early and Lafontaine and I were both here when she was, and…. well….” Perry trails off.
“She and Perry secretly dated for like a year and the week before graduation Mattie’s mom told her to break it off. So she did. In the girls bathroom before first period with practically the entire school listening outside the door. Only she didn’t even own up to the fact they were together, just told Perry to back off, and that she wasn’t popular and never would be. It was straight out of Mean Girls ,” Laf finishes.
“Wow,” Laura says.
“People still talk about it. Perry’s parents pulled her out of school for a year because she failed all of her finals. I swear if I get my hands on that-”
“Stop! Just, stop. Please. You know that isn’t the whole story. What happened was awful, of course, but revenge will just make it worse!” Perry says.
Lafontaine scowls and sets down the fire extinguisher they’d picked up, “I just hate it.”
“I hate it, too. If it was up to me I’d have her removed immediately, but it’s not. We’ll just have to make the best of it.” Perry takes a deep breath and looks to Laura.
“Now, as far as I know we haven’t asked a single thing about you! What brings you to Silas, dear?”
Laura freezes, her hand tightening around the handle of the broom as the other reaches for the locket at her neck. What is she supposed to say? Should she lie? She stares at the floor, her heart pounding in her chest. She can’t just pretend it didn’t happen, and besides, if these were going to be her friends they’d find out eventually.
“My dad got a job in the city and moved us down here because my mom died in a car accident six months ago and he thought we needed a fresh start.” she explains.
Perry, Laf, and JP share a look.
“We’re so sorry, Laura,” Perry says.
“If there’s anything you need…” JP adds. Laura nods. She’s heard it all before.
“It’s actually a lot easier now that every single thing I see doesn’t remind me of her and the kids at school aren’t talking about it behind my back and my teachers aren’t giving me extended deadlines due to grief or whatever and…. I’m sorry,” she shakes her head, “I totally shouldn’t be telling you all this right after we just met.”
For a long moment, the room is perfectly silent.
“Do you want to have dinner with us? There’s no assigned seating and we always have an extra spot,” Laf offers. Laura smiles despite herself.
“Yeah, I’d like that a lot, actually.”
~~~
Dinner is a long, drawn out process involving screaming children and pie related coin-tosses, Laura discovers. Her new friends show her the ropes to getting just the right scoop of ice cream and tell her everything they know about Silas. The gossip. The teachers. The memes. Laura can’t remember the last time she felt so normal.
She still heads back to her room early, totally exhausted from her crazy first day. Her dad is supposed to call at seven so they can talk about how it went and she really doesn’t want to miss it. They haven’t talked since Friday, which is the longest they’d ever gone without talking, well, ever.
Laura does her homework while she waits. No point in getting behind on her very first day! Even if it means she has to slog through two chapters of chemistry and fill out a worksheet on the schools of literary theory.
At seven, o’clock she checks her phone. No call. Full reception. Huh, weird.
She wonders if she should call him, but decides she should give him at least a few minutes. He’s probably still moving in and getting settled anyway.
He still hasn’t called five minutes later when Laura checks again, and her finger hovers over the call button. Maybe he was expecting her to call. Maybe he just hadn’t noticed the time. Maybe-
Loud, metal-grinding noise snaps her out of her thoughts. Laura falls out of her chair, her phone flying out her hands to skitter under the bed, as she tries to discern exactly where the sound is coming from. Was that supposed to be music? The wall next to her bed appeared to be shaking in time with the bass. So much for good neighbors.
Laura suddenly remembers her phone and shoves her entire body under the bed to retrieve it. By the time she wiggles back out it’s 7:15, and she still has exactly zero missed calls. Her stomach twists into knots. This isn’t happening.
Next door, the music gets louder.
Laura huffs angrily and stalks out into the hallway. She knocks on the door next to her own and waits, arms crossed, for whoever is crazy enough to play punk rock loud enough to reach the international space station.
And of course, Carmilla answers the door.
She’s wearing nothing but a silk robe that exposes her pale stomach and black panties, her hair tied up in a messy bun that frames her face in loose ringlets. She quirks an eyebrow at Laura.
“Uh, can you turn the music down?” Laura asks, tilting her head to emphasize how obvious a request it was.
Carmilla shrugs, “Maybe I broke the stereo. How would you know?”
“Really? Look, I’m waiting for a call from my dad. Can you please just turn it off or something?”
“Wow, a call from daddy dearest. That is not the least bit surprising. The answer’s still no, though. Sorry cupcake.”
Carmilla slams the door shut. Laura stands there, fuming. She doesn’t have time to go down and get the dorm supervisor. Her dad is going to call any second!
“Hey, you need help?”
Laura spins around and comes face to face with, seriously, another ginger? This one is tall, practically dwarfing Laura, and has a soccer team jacket thrown over her shoulder.
“I just need my awful neighbor to turn off her awful music!” Laura yells, half at the new girl standing in front of her, half at the closed door giving her an aneurism.
“I had a feeling,” The girl says. She knocks on the door hard enough to shake the building and waits patiently for it to open.
“I said no!” Carmilla calls.
“Carmilla, stop being an asshole and open this door!”
The door opens almost instantly. Carmilla eyes the girl, her gaze flickering to Laura only once as she leans against the door frame and licks her lips.
“You know you can’t play music this loud, Carmilla,” the girl says.
“What are you going to do, make me turn it down?”
“It would be my pleasure,” the girl says with a grin. Carmilla sighs, her shoulders slouching.
“Fine. But don’t expect any favors from me next time you need something.”
“I will try my very best not to be completely unrealistic.”
“Whatever. I don't have time for this.” Carmilla shuts the door again, and the music goes off a few seconds later.
Laura smiles gratefully and holds out her hand.
“Laura.”
“Danny.”
“So, you and Carmilla. Are you friends or something?” Laura asks.
“Not in so many words. We used to be rivals for the number two spot on the honor roll but we realized we benefit more from teaming up than we do from tearing each other down. We’ve gotten the exact same grades for the last four years in a row.”
Laura narrows her eyes in confusion, “That sounds kinda like friends to me.”
“Yeah, just don’t say that to her face,” Danny teases, “The deal is that I don’t get in her way, she doesn’t get in mine, sometimes I remind her to play by the rules, sometimes she reminds me to take the stick out of my ass. It works.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Laura laughs, “Um, I have to get back to my room, but really, thank you for that.”
“No problem, newbie! Have a good night!”
Danny continues on down the hallway, and Laura, free from distraction, hurries back to her room. It’s nearly eight o’clock and her dad still hasn’t called. Laura hits call, her hands shaking as she holds the phone to her ear and leans up against her desk.
“Hello?”
“Dad!”
“Oh, Laura, I… I got held up at work sweetie, I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, it’s fine. I’m fine. I just wanted to tell you about my day. It was pretty crazy,” Laura says, running a hand through her hair.
“Actually, I’m still at work. They have me setting up an entirely new system and they need it done by Friday. Would it be okay if I called you during breakfast?”
Laura takes a deep breath, “Yeah, sure. You’ve got this dad.”
“Thanks, sweetie. I’ll talk to you in the morning, I love you.”
“Love you too,” Laura says. The line goes dead. Laura drops onto her bed and pulls her knees to her chest. Outside the sun has set behind the trees and the sky grows dark. Chances are he won’t call at breakfast. He’ll stay up too late and wake up at noon and rush to work all over again. He always thought he could get fewer than eight hours of sleep, but his body never let him.
Laura sniffs and wipes at her eyes. She is not going to cry. She still has homework to do, and boxes to unpack. With renewed energy, Laura jumps to her feet and gets to work. Anything to take her mind of the silence and her phone.
Three hours later her room is spotless, her backpack is packed, and every single box is piled up by the door. Laura sleeps soundly in her new bed, the exhaustion of her first day drowning out any kind of discomfort she could possibly feel.
She dreams of the same thing she always does, her mother laughing and singing along to the radio, her long brown hair twisting in the wind as they drive down Canyon Falls Highway in the dying light of a summer that never really ends.
Over and over and over again.