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Astro didn’t want to sleep.
He hadn’t for a while, which was rather unusual for the moon. After all, sleeping was practically his escape. It was where he could run away into his dreamscape with little troubles, a place where he could ease his aching bones and heart. Not only that, it was when he’d usually keep watch of everyone’s dreams. Everyone’s lives while lucid weren’t the greatest, so Astro made sure that at least their dreams could give them a break from the hell that was their day to day lives.
Though, after recent events, Astro didn’t know if he wanted to close his eyes. While he probably should be accompanying everyone’s dreams, he didn’t have enough energy to bother doing so. His body was utterly pushed to the brink, and so was his mind. While his body got some rest from him laying down, his mind wasn’t spared from the torment that was his current thoughts.
Cosmo was dead, Sprout hadn’t left his room in almost a week now, and he might’ve been dead as well. The stench of rot every time he passed Cosmo’s room added to this theory. While Astro knocked and tried communicating with the grieving baker, he couldn’t bring himself to actually enter by any means.
The door was locked, but a lot of people there had experience with lockpicking. For some reason, no one wanted to. Astro didn’t know how to lockpick, and his hands seemed to chronically shake, which wasn’t helping.
He didn’t know what to do. Sure, he and Cosmo weren’t too close, but his now-permanent absence still hurt his heart deeply. He didn’t want anyone to die, he didn’t want any more of his friends to either turn into those things or be the ones mauled by them. Actually, it was usually the former. The ones mauled twisted as well, just more horribly disfigured than those who weren’t. In the times where they didn’t twist, it was usually because they died before they could, which happened in poor Teagan’s case.
Astro wasn’t sure why or how he was still alive with everyone else. He didn’t think he even deserved to be. He doesn’t contribute much to the runs like Vee or Goob, nor was he good at keeping everyone’s spirits like Shelly. He wished people credited her more.
Astro laid on his bed, a soft glow emanating from the moon in the darkness. A sense of longing filled him, a longing for normalcy. He felt everyone—especially him, took their past lives for granted. He couldn’t stay upset about that for too long, none of them knew this would’ve happened.
He was pulled out of his trance as a hesitant knock from his door echoed through the room. At this hour ? Who could be awake ? He slowly climbed down from the ladder, cringing at the creaking wood. As he made it to the door, he heard the faint sound of sniffling from the other side. Concerned, he quickly opened the door, being greeted by the sight of a Toodles who seemed like she had just finished crying.
“Toodles..? What are you doing awake at this hour ?”
He kneeled down to eye level with the other, “Did you have a nightmare ?”
She nodded meekly, her dog plush held tightly against her chest. Astro gave her a sympathetic look, patting her on the back and sighing, “Here, let’s go back to your room together..”
Toodles had been through alot, stuff no child should ever have gone through. Majority of her ‘family’ had either died or worse. Glisten was missing, Teagan was killed, and Rodger was twisted. Astro found himself being her main caretaker, it was the least he could do.
Now he felt a pang of guilt swell up inside him, had he not been too busy sulking about his worthlessness, he could’ve put an end to her nightmare before she woke up in tears. The two walked in silence through the dark halls of the night. Thank god they still had a sense of time, who knows how long ago they would’ve gone insane.
He felt the other cling onto his blanket, trying to stay in his bioluminescence, avoiding the dark. Back then, Toodles would be more subtle about her fears, even in the case of a nightmare. Now, she didn’t seem like she even could if she wanted to.
“What was the nightmare about ?” Astro asked as they arrived in her room. He sat her down in her bed, crouching beside it with concern written all over his expression.
She wiped off some remaining tears on her cheeks, not responding for a little while. Astro sighed, getting up to sit down on the side of her bed instead.
“Alright, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to…but–”
“N-No…no I can, I just need…”
“To relax ..?”
She nodded.
He hummed in understanding, letting her sniffles and whimpers die down. She went silent for a bit after that.
“I-I know I have to b-be more mature now…but…I just…”
Astro shook his head, “You don’t have to be anything, you’re doing the best you can…isn’t that enough ?”
She shook her head, “N-No…everyone’s getting..hurt ‘n stuff…and I just wanna be helpful –! And—And in my dream…everyone was mad at me…and they said that…I wasn’t good enough…and that it was my fault so many people were hurt…and I-I just wanna be better but I dunno what to do and—”
Astro quickly shushed her as she began sobbing again while explaining her struggles. He scooted up in front of her, two stars cupping her cheeks.
“Sometimes…our minds make up things that aren’t true…what was going on in your dream..it is not true at all, I can promise you that.”
“R-Really ?”
“Really, you’re a good kid, Toodles.”
She smiled, a look of relief on her face. Astro smiled back, patting her on the head, “Would you like to see something ?”
Toodles eagerly nodded, and Astro got down from the bed and stood up next to it. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply and calmly in order to focus.
“Close your eyes…”
She did so, fidgeting a bit in excitement. She always enjoyed Astro’s magic tricks.
A burst of little stars came around him, floating above her head, stardust beginning to gently circle her, “Open them.”
When she did, she gasped, clapping her hands in glee, “It’s so pretty …!”
He gently pushed her back for her to lay down, the stars gently glowing above her, “This will ensure you’ll have a peaceful rest, alright ..?”
She nodded, her excited grin going to a relaxed smile, before suddenly, she jolted back up, “O-Oh wait–I forgot !”
Astro flinched at the sudden exclamation, “Is something wrong ?”
She nodded, “W-When I woke up, I went to go find your room…a-and on the way there, I heard someone talking to themselves and giggling ‘n stuff…I got kinda scared, but I checked it out..”
“I-I saw uhm...Sprout, and he was being really really weird…I wanted to tell someone because he seemed really sad after…uhm..”
“Sprout was out of his room ?” Astro raised his eyebrows in surprise, and Toodles nodded.
“Thank…thank you for telling me, I’ll check on him, for now…go to sleep, alright ? The stars will stay here until you wake up,” Astro tried to hide the waver in his voice, and it seemed to work, as Toodles laid back and yawned, the effects of the magic settling in.
“Sweet dreams…”
He stayed with Toodles until she fell asleep, spending whatever energy he had left to keep the stars glowing above her. He needed to be more in-tune with the other’s emotional states, he needed to take better care of everyone else. Maybe he could start with checking in on Sprout, which he should've done a while ago.
He attempted to silently close the door behind him, cringing at the creaking that followed. It was best to be as silent as possible throughout the night, you wouldn’t want to wake anyone up. Everyone knew that, except for a certain Shrimp, and apparently now Sprout.
Speaking of Sprout, where could he have gone ? Maybe Astro was overthinking it, but he really had a bad feeling about all of this. Sprout leaving his room should’ve been a good thing, maybe he was getting food or something. But, everyone always slid him food from under his doorstep, he must’ve eaten at least some of it. At least, Astro truly hoped he did. Well, maybe he didn’t, and he finally got enough mental clarity to realize he has to eat, and maybe the food that he was given had rotted by now, so he went to get some more.
That made the most sense, but he wasn’t in the kitchen, nor anywhere where he should’ve been.
Astro was beginning to freak out, (more than he was already), at this point. He had no idea where he possibly could’ve been, and he had no idea what he could’ve been doing either. Considering his now practically non-existent mental stability, Astro assumed the worst.
Astro began to descend into the lobby, dread filling his gut and making it churn. Too many close calls with people being stupid, with him being stupid. Too many close calls. Too many close calls for him to trust someone in this vulnerable state.
“The stars are beautiful, aren’t they ?”
Huh ?
Astro quickened his pace at the voice, the familiar blues and greens coming into view, the elevators around him, the nature, it made him nauseous.
“Just a little bit longer ?”
He recognized the voice—Sprout. Who was he talking to ? His footsteps silently padded against the carpet, the rough and uncleaned texture making him cringe. Why were there no shoes for toons ??
“Alright, sorry…let’s go.”
Astro finally saw Sprout, walking towards the elevator. His suspicions were correct, considering the other’s behavior ever since the incident. Luckily, he came right on time. He rushed over, nearly tripping over his own blanket. And—
“...Sprout ?”
Oh god.
What the hell was he doing ?
The stench of rot emitted near him, but it wasn’t entirely Sprout who stunk, but…what he was holding. A decomposing, moldy arm. The familiar warm brown sickly and devoid of warmth or life. And Sprout was holding it. Sprout was interlocking fingers with it, just like how he would with his dear old friend, their bracelets magnetically stuck together.
Sprout turned around, and the look in his eyes made Astro take a few steps back. It was crazed, manic, yet holding a warm and friendly forefront.
“O-Oh god…Sprout…what are you doing …?”
And his confusion was probably the worst part. He looked at him, innocent and unknowing. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, “Is…something wrong ?”
It made him sick.
“No…nothing is wrong, uhm…”
“I’m…sorry, I’m so sorry…”
I don’t know if I can bear the burden of failing to save you.
With that, Astro fled, like the coward he was. His footsteps slammed against the stairs, who simply screamed at him in response. The floorboards screamed at him for his cowardice. The wallpaper peeled to reveal eyes that glared at him for his ignorance. The lights flickered in disdain for his reluctance.
He needed to dream.
He stopped in the hallways, hearing the elevator in the lobby stutter and go down. A wave of nausea that tied his gut into a noose washed over him, and he sprinted to the nearest restroom, nearly puking all over the floor in the process.
The burden of failing Sprout ? Bullshit. Failing an attempt is one thing, failing without even trying is another deeper sin in itself.
Astro gagged and threw up in the sink, the taste of his bad decisions burning his throat.
Sprout held Cosmo’s hand like it was in perfect shape, like it was still attached to its owner.
He needed to sleep for a long while.
Stumbling out of the bathroom after cleaning up, dragging himself to his room, he closed the door behind him, locking it.
. . .
No matter, he can add this to his list of secrets to keep. It’s all for the better after all.
He did it once, he could do it again.
No one needs to know, they could figure it out themselves when it happens.
For now, all Astro needs to do is sleep. Climbing up the splintering wood of the ladder into his inviting bed. All he can do is pray Sprout will be alright. The ceiling looked desolate, empty, it was missing something. He didn’t know what. He’ll figure that out in the morning, or afternoon, or maybe when all of this was over.
Overdramatic, wasn’t he ?
Someone like him should stay asleep.