Work Text:
It had been years. Years since Arrietty’s family escaped and built a new home, but Arrietty could never forget Shou. She thought about him daily and even though she agreed to marry Spiller, she knows she could never love him the way she loves Shou.
So here she is, on her annual trip back to her origins. Once a year every year since they moved, Arrietty went back to the house to see if Shou had come back. She hoped with every fiber of her being that Shou had survived that operation, but doubt wrapped its gnarly tentacles around her heart.
If Shou had survived, why hadn’t he come back?
–
It’s been 7 years since that summer and Shou has never forgotten Arrietty. Her striking eyes and determined eyebrows. Every year Shou goes to visit grandma, partly because he wants to thank her for taking him in that summer, but mostly it’s so he can look for Arrietty.
Some may call it a pipe dream, but Shou believes that Arrietty will come back.
After his operation, her face was the first thing he thought of. He only hoped her and her family had made it to safety.
Those yearly visits suddenly came to an end when Shou got news of his grandmother’s passing. It shattered his world. When he’d been all but abandoned by his mother and father, she had stepped in to give him peace. Beyond that, Shou also knew his time of looking for Arrietty had come to an end.
The Will reading gave him hope he hadn’t experienced since he saw Arrietty for the first time when it was announced that Shou’s grandmother had left him her house with a note to read once he’s alone.
Dear Shou,
When you’re reading this I will already be gone, but fear not, you won’t ever be alone again. I can’t imagine leaving this house to anyone else. You know how important the little people are and I hope that being in the countryside will bring you peace of mind.
Love, your grandmother.
When Shou cried, he says it was because of his grandmother’s kindness, but deep down he knows that it’s also because it means he has a chance of seeing Arrietty again.
–
The house is quite old, but Shou would never dream of changing anything. All the little cracks in the walls, the torn screens, all those small things the contractors told him to change, are all entrances for Arrietty when she comes back. Shou would never lock her out, so he sends them away with an empty promise to contact them for the work.
At 18, he owns a beautiful house, has a wonderful job, and can now ignore the urging of his parents to find a wife.
No woman could ever be Arrietty, so there’s not much point in looking.
He had slightly renovated his mother’s old room, the one he stayed in all those summers ago, just to suit his tastes more. There were other rooms in the house that were better, more comfortable, bigger, but moving rooms meant that Arrietty might not be able to find him, so his old room is where he will stay.
–
He missed quietly reading on his bed with Niya purring next to him. He almost found himself thinking that nothing could be better. Until he heard something. A small creak; nothing scary, nothing alarming, but it set his sense on high alert, which is the only reason he could hear:
“Shou?”
Shou swears he’s never moved his head so fast.
There she is, standing there in the same beautiful red dress she was wearing when they met last with the sun rays silhouetting her beautiful chestnut hair.
“Arrietty!”
He stumbles over to the window sill, where Arrietty clasps his finger between her small hands. She’s basically in tears when she whispers, “Shou…I thought you’d…the surgery…” Shou smiles softly down at her as she presses her forehead to his fingertip.
“No, the surgery was successful. How are you? Is your family safe?” Shou asks gently, nearly in disbelief at his luck of finally seeing Arrietty after a year of living here, everyday hoping to see something small move out of the corner of his eye.
“Yes! We found a new home.” She exclaims.
Shou feels his chest swell with happiness that her and her family are ok. “Are there other Borrowers there?” He asks.
The answer could ruin everything, but he needs to know.
“...Yes. Spiller is there and a couple of others.” She answers earnestly. Shou feels his heart pang and he knows his soft smile freezes on his face. Not wanting to make it too obvious, Shou pushes on.
“Oh.”
Well damn, he needs to say something more than that! Before he could though, Arrietty is speaking again. “Shou…I want you to know that I never forgot the kindness you showed me…showed my family. I could never thank you enough-” Shou cuts her off softly. “Don’t. Arrietty…”
She swiftly returns the favor, the next words spilling out of her mouth as if she couldn’t hold them any longer. “I’m getting married. To Spiller…”
Shou had always believed that the world going muffled after a character in his books hears something that shatters their world was an over exaggeration, but experiencing it now, it certainly isn’t. He had always known that Arrietty and he could never truly be together, but hearing that she’s with someone else…
“I’m sorry…Shou, I’ll never love anyone the way I love you. I want you to know that.” Arrietty sounds on the verge of tears again, but Shou can’t muster up the strength to respond, not when he’s processing her words. Her declaration of love, followed by the knowledge that she’s marrying another man.
Arrietty, true to her bravery, continues. “I’ve had many years to think about everything, and I know that you’re special to me. I fell in love with you all those years ago, but my species…the Borrowers are dying out. Hope won’t continue our kind, so I agreed to marry and have children with Spiller because of that. Spiller’s rough around the edges, but he’s kind to me.”
Shou can’t help but beam gently down at her. She’s always been so brave and straightforward, her traits the exact opposite of his own. She’s admirable, even now.
“I’m glad.” Shou whispers.
“Shou…I’m…I want you to be happy too.” Arrietty stumbles through her wording, clearly feeling lost herself.
Shou softly runs a fingertip over her hair. “If you’re asking me to move on, I can’t. You’re so beautiful and incredible…I could never love someone who isn’t you, Arrietty.”
“We could never-”
Shou finishes her sentence for her, “be together. I know that. You can hardly wrap your arms around my fingertip. We could never have children, never even properly kiss.” Shou relishes in the furious blush that spreads over Arrietty’s face at the notion of having children with him, but he keeps talking, eager to get his thoughts across. “But I love you. I’ve loved you since the second I saw you that night and knew you were real. I simply can’t bring myself to be with anyone else.”
Arrietty swallows harshly. “I just wish there were a way…” She says.
“I’d do anything to be your size. I’ve never forgotten you, how brave you were, how capable. You made me want to continue living when I’d resigned myself to death. Thank you, Arrietty. I want you to move forward and be happy, to continue on the Borrower legacy. I hope that Spiller will take good care of you.” Shou admits, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice when speaking about Arrietty with another person.
Regret crosses Arrietty’s face. “He does…but he can’t take care of me the way you did. You saved my family, risked your own health just to help me find my mother and keep us a secret. No one else can be what you are to be. Shou…I really love you, and I’m sorry…”
As the sun begins to set, Arrietty turns towards it.
“I need to get back. Shou…”
“I’ll be here. Always, Arrietty.”
And if Shou finally allows his tears to fall as he watches her scramble away through the grass, no one but Niya needs to know. And now she does, as she allows him to muffle his cries into her fur well into the night, all while hoping that Arrietty made it back home safe, because her happiness and safety will always come before his own.