Chapter Text
It was night when you arrived. The moon was full and there was not stars which disappointed you, you took as an omen, that this relationship was doomed to fail...
"Keep your eyes up and when you enter bow and be silent. Only speak when spoken to." Your advisor whispered in your ear. He was a tall fellow, with long dark hair and ever darker clothes. You sometimes wished that he was left behind.
The fabric of your dark red dress was a perfect distraction to the cheering and waving of the people outside the palace and your white veil was just enough to conceal your face when you turned sideways to provide comfort in the time. However this changed when you reached the doors of the main hall of the palace. You froze when the doors were opened and your advisor had to slightly push you to approach the king.As your advisor starts his greeting and presentation you find yourself looking around in awe, even if you were not totally agreeable with this marriage you could not help but be entranced with the luxury of Jerusalem. The hall was decorated with white curtains and silver ornaments, beautiful white flowers were displayed in ornamental vases that were foreign to you. But perhaps the strangest thing of them all was the king himself. Dressed in beautifully long white robes and adorned with an intricate silver mask his deep blue eyes stared at you as if he could peek at your very soul.
"My lord" you curtsy and greeted when it was appropriate.
"Stand, princess," the king said, his voice a low rasp that carried his authority. "No need for formalities between us." He gestured for you to approach the throne, his eyes linger on your face.
You approach slowly and with caution, this was a strange man after all, and not just any man, a man with power. Caution was warranted. He studied you as if you were a strange flower, his eyes never leaving your face. "I greet you princess Y/N of Y/C. May your court be welcomed in peace to Jerusalem." you smiled and bow with respect. Now was the time for the formalities...
You steeped back as your advisor started to talk about the formalities of your union. While he talked you could feel the eyes of the entire court in your back making you shake with anxiety, but you try to ground yourself with the words of your advisor. He was always a bit of a slimy fellow, but you could not help but be calmed by his presence. He was fiercely protective of you, in his own way of course, but he craved power like no one else, and having you as the new queen of Jerusalem was his opportunity to have everything he wanted. You could not blame him of course, after all this was what you were made for wasn't it? To be traded for power unlike your brothers. They were destined for greatness, you were... well, not. And as the words of your advisor ring in your ears you cant help but mourn your life that was left behind, the love of your mother, the playful antics of your brothers... fortunately you were able to bring your ladies in waiting with you, a small mercy...
Your sudden sadness was not hidden from the king. Baldwin was enchanted by your presence, even though he was oppose to this wedding in reason of his disease he could not help but rejoice in a small part of him, he was still a man after all. But your sudden sadness took him back, this beautiful lady was willing to marry a leper, he felt guilty for taking so much from you, your future husband, your future children, your life... But as your dowry was presented his mind wondered to his possible future, his future queen. He decided there and then that he would make everything in his power to make you happy, even if it take the rest of his (very short) life!
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The dowry was presented, it was fit for a future queen, much more than you though you were worth but you din't argue its value. What you did argue was how it was presented, you had clear instructions, you were not to be treated as part of the merchandise, in any way chape or form and your advisor made sure of that. Other thing you had made sure was that after the proper presentation you were to be left alone in your provided room, not even your advisor was to be with you in the first hour.
The room was big, bigger then the one you had home, with large amounts of shelves and tables like you requested. Your things have already been unpacked, not in a way you would like but it was a start. Your clothes chest was full of gifts and on top of your bed a box of jewelry sat. inside the most beautiful emerald necklace, a crucifix encrusted with ruby and a gold circlet. You could not help but feel like those gifts, even though wonderful, were a small bribe in exchange of your life... so you simply closed the box and when you let everyone in again you will pretend to be amazed as your ladies in waiting dressed you with the jewels for supper. While you were alone you had time to compose yourself. You slowly fell to the ground, a shaky breath leaving your body. You didn't cry, no you wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction. But instead you just sat there looking at the ground, looking at the very intricate rug that now would be your closest companion for as long as it served its purpose, kinda like you in a way. When your position was no longer useful what would happened? Will you be discarded like this rug?
You take a deep breath. It was time. You have to be strong and face ahead like the brave little girl your brothers always called you. So with no longer time to waste you open the door getting stunned by your advisor being right there, standing and waiting for you to call him. As he passed trough you he looked around before whispering "You know i am here don't you? Breath and keep your tears inside. I am here." that made it even more hard to keep all together but you made an effort.
"My lady look at this!" exclaimed one of your ladies basically running to your bed and just like you predicted they fussed on you and the jewelry until your advisor remembered them that supper was soon and you still had to bathe. So the bath was brought and you were bathe.
"Your presence has been required at the main hall for supper." your advisor said "It would be wise to attend, tho i have heard that the king never eats with company, due to his illness of course..." he was turned away from you as your ladies bathe you, he was a constant companion throughout your life. Appointed by your father the moment your monthlies arrived citing 'he will make a proper lady out of you'. He wasn't rude but was direct, and you appreciated his directness. "I wish to eat alone." you said "No. you will eat with the court, to show you are willing to participate in their life as the new queen." he demanded. He was a bother sometimes.
So that is how you found yourself siting at a seat of honor hearing a priest say a prayer before you were able to eat. As the priest finished the servants brought the food and as you didn't make any effort to set your plate your advisor set it for you. Noticing this Sybilla, the king's sister decides to speak to you. "It is a pleasure to have you by my side my lady." "Thank you my lady, your presence is much appreciated." She throws you a dirty look. She was fiercely protective of her brother at the moment, and you understood, a foreign woman enters her bother's life and she cant even set her own plate of food? It made her suspicious of you.
"Please forgive my brother for not participating, he likes his privacy." "I understand my lady, i am the same. i thank you, again, for your presence. i hope we could be friends since i am here to stay..." She smiled at you and turned to her son to help him cut a particularly big piece of meat. "He is lovely, how old is he?" you ask and the kid smiles at you. "He is soon to be ten! He is a big boy now..." you giggle eating your own food. "They grow up as quick as weeds!". As you turned back to your food you coud not help but think of your future husband. Will both of you be as apart as today? Only meeting once and not even exchanging words? You hopped not...
After supper it was time for bed. And as your advisor made all your preparations and your ladies dressed and fixed your hair you mourned again the first of many days of your new life...