Work Text:
Nya could only relish in the satisfaction of her win for a second at most.
Seeing the love of her life, the source of so much joy and laughter, acting so unlike himself made her want to cry. But this wasn’t the time. She could wallow in her misery later. Right now, she needed to try her hardest to get through to Jay. No matter what.
She couldn’t bear to look as his lightning was stripped from him. Even without seeing it, she could feel it running through her veins. She begrudgingly used his power, no matter how wrong it felt. And after the big display was over, she watched him head back towards Ras. The obvious course of action was to follow. She hadn’t waited 5 years to see him just to let him slip through her fingers.
“Jay!” she called out to him, interrupting Ras’ disappointed lecture.
At her interruption, she saw the pissed look Ras shot her. She didn’t care.
“I know you don’t remember who I am, but I love you. I love you so much that I will not leave until you are back home, safe .” She promised.
“I thought I told you, lady , I don’t know who you are. But I do know, without a doubt, that I will always hate you.” His eyes, previously an electric blue, deepened to a terrifying red.
This was her breaking point. Of all the ridiculous things she’d heard him say today, this one hurt the most. She could deal with memory loss, she could deal with him losing his powers, and she could even deal with him going missing for 5 years. But this? This she couldn’t take. She wouldn’t take. She was not going to just sit idly by and watch the light of her life say he hated her.
“No, you don’t. The Jay I know could never hate me.” She tried to keep her voice firm and clear. She was going to stand her ground.
“‘The Jay you know’?” he laughed. “Is that supposed to mean anything to me? You seem awfully convinced that I know you. Odd, seeing as I don’t , and never will.”
“Ok, that’s enough. Jay, you failed. That means I have no reason to keep you around. You may leave now. You know where to go.” Ras butted in.
Nya saw Jay’s face crumble the second Ras spoke. He took a complete 180 from burning anger to sullen acceptance. Once Ras had finished speaking, Jay immediately started his journey out of the city. But he wasn’t going alone.
Though she took a second to gather her supplies, she was hot on his heels in record time. She didn’t care about the stupid tournament or the source dragons. Not even the distressed calls from her friends, begging her to reconsider. She was determined to get her yin back, no matter the cost.
***
Jay knew that he had to win that battle, and he honestly thought he had it! But that stupid lady ruined everything! So now he’d failed the one person who tried to help him. Just great.
He was so focused on what he was supposed to do next, that he didn’t even realize that the master of water was following him. What was her name? Nora? Nyad? He probably should have paid attention when her name was announced. But that didn't matter, what mattered was that she was following him. Which was mega creepy. He should’ve probably done something about that.
He quickly turned around, “Why are you following me? I thought I told you that I don’t like you.”
She steeled her face. “And I thought I told you that I’m not going anywhere until I get you back home safe. You’re stuck with me Jay, whether you like it or not.”
He didn't dignify her with a response. Instead, he rushed as fast as he could to the elevator. Unluckily for him, she was crafty. Even though he got the door closed faster than she could get inside, she just hopped right on top of the elevator instead.
He stuck his head out the side and gave her a nasty look. But otherwise, he didn’t have the energy to dissuade her from following him.
They rode the elevator down the mountain in a not-quite-amicable silence. The ride wasn’t very long, so he had little time to think about his future.
When they landed on the ground, he had officially given up trying to fight her pursuit of him.
***
Seeing the fight drain out of her fiance in real time was both saddening and relieving. She didn't want to keep fighting him. She wanted to go back to how it was before. When he was constantly cracking jokes. When he would say ‘I love you’ and kiss her on the cheek. When she could look him in the eyes without seeing that terrifying red staring back at her.
She had to stop that train of thought quickly. The more she thought about the way he used to be, the worse she felt seeing him then. So she did what she had done all day, and kept following him to wherever Ras made him go.
She didn't start up any conversation over the next hour of walking. She hoped that if she didn’t pressure him too much, maybe he would initiate a positive conversation of his own volition. She was half-right.
For most of the walk, they went through grassy plains, but by the one-hour mark, they’d made it to a sparse forest.
“It’s late. If you’re so determined to follow me for some idiotic reason, I guess we could set up camp here for the night. Keep your distance, though.” It looked like it pained him to say it. But at least this conversation wasn’t about the deep hatred he harbored for her.
“Ok, um. Just a question.” She held out her hands placatingly. “Where are you going? If you’re at least somewhat okay with me coming along with you, I kinda want to know where our destination is.” She tried to not offend him and ruin the tentative peace that was established.
He looked a bit taken aback by the question, almost as if he didn’t know either. He had to know where he was going, right? Right?
“Of course I know where I’m going. Are you clingy and stupid?” There's that vitriol.
“Okay… then, where are we going?”
“I don’t need to tell you everything, lady .” She tried to hold back her frustration, but it was hard. She was this close to punching some sense into him. Ultimately, she held that desire back, not wanting to piss him off more.
“Okay then, keep your secrets.” She hoped she sounded more confident than she felt.
*
They set up a meager campsite. She made a fire to keep them warm, and they each set up their sleeping arrangements. Jay kept himself as far away from her as he could while still being close to the fire. Nya was thankful to her past self for taking the time to pack supplies. She didn’t know what she would have done if she didn’t have clothes or a bedroll. However, their food supply was severely lacking. And by that, she meant, it was nonexistent. They would have to be foragers for the next how many days until their unknown destination. If she wasn't able to knock some sense into him before then.
She said she would do whatever it took to get him back home safe and sound. And she still stood by that. But she also couldn’t ignore the impatient desire to get her Jay back.
She got little, if any, sleep that night.
*
They got up bright and early to continue their journey to who knows where. Realizing their lack of rations, she used her small knowledge of the outdoors to find them something that hopefully wouldn’t poison them. She wished they would come upon a town soon. She didn't want to live off suspicious berries for the next few days.
After a few hours of tense silence, she was surprised to find that it wasn't broken by her.
“So… like. Ugh, I hate this. Why do you seem so convinced that I know you? Do you just latch on to any random guy you see, or am I just special?”
She took a deep breath. “I’m not convinced I know you, I do know you. We wer- are engaged.”
He seemed unimpressed. “And where’s your proof, huh? Do you honestly expect me to believe you just based on, what, your word? That’s laughable.”
“If you come back to the monastery, I can show you. There’s photos and everything! But I can’t do anything out here in the middle of nowhere. There’s still time to head back towards civilization. Even if you don’t remember everything, we can start fresh! Just, please, can we go home?” She was on the verge of tears.
“We’ve gone all this way, and now you want me to go back? Are you insane?! I’m supposed to believe everything you’ve said, just because ? Let’s say you’re right, and I am your fiance, how am I supposed to process that? I don't know if I even want that. What if I don’t live up to who you want me to be?” His breathing had gotten heavier. “And then there’s the much more likely option of you being wrong. What do I do then? I have nowhere to go! I knew who I was supposed to be when I was working for Ras, and you fucked that up!” He was almost screaming. The exertion had made his face go red.
She gave him a second to catch his breath.
“I, and by extension the rest of the ninja, can help you. If for some magical reason, you aren’t my fiance, I wouldn’t leave you without a support system. That isn’t the type of people we are. The type of person I am.” She looked Jay in his (red) eyes when she said it. “I love you, and I will always love you. No matter how much you’ve changed, you will always be my yin. You don’t need to act a certain way for me to love you, because my love for you is unconditional.”
She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer. She felt the warm drops slide down her cheeks, wetting her cold face.
***
After his outburst, Jay was just embarrassed. He didn’t think he’d ever let himself feel his emotions that strongly. He almost wished he hadn’t. Being vulnerable with a stranger couldn’t have been safe. But there was just something about her that made him forget they were strangers, something that made him not completely discredit what she was saying.
Seeing her cry almost made him cry too. Almost.
***
Nya was suddenly brought outside of her head by a hand being placed on her shoulder. She gazed down through wet eyes to see, to no one's surprise, the hand belonged to Jay. His face, though blurred by her tears, looked to be quite unsure. She guessed he hadn't had much experience with people, something she never would have thought about him before then. Just another thing about him that was different from the Jay she knew.
“Um… gosh I’m bad at this. Uh, I didn't mean to have that outburst. Or make you cry. I’m sorry.” He clumsily patted her back.
She stared back down at him, a wobbly smile had formed on her face. “It’s okay."
“Are you sure? I know I haven't been very nice to you, like, at all. I don't even really know why, now that I think of it.” He scratched his head.
She let out a wet laugh. “‘Shattered your goodness’ my ass. Being a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person isn't such a simple concept. Yes, there are good and bad actions , but you aren’t a ‘bad’ person because of some magic.”
*
After their mini heart-to-heart, they sat in silence for a few minutes. Or what she guessed was a few minutes, she didn't have a watch.
She wanted to give him as much time as he needed to process everything. And she wanted to tell herself that she would be okay with whatever decision he came to, but she knew that wasn't true. She felt like a broken record at that point, repeating to herself over and over that she would get him back no matter what. She childishly believed that if she kept saying it, that somehow, it would come true.
***
Jay was tired. So, so tired.
He was sick of the constant war inside his head. One half of his mind convinced he knew this girl, that he should trust her, that he should go back with her to the monastery. He wanted to believe that half more than anything. The one that made everything sound so simple, so easy.
But then there was the second half. The one filled with doubt. The one convinced something about the whole situation was off. The merge was five years ago . Why hadn't the ninja found him? If they really knew him, loved him, like they claimed, why hadn't they found him? Was he unimportant? Were all the times the girl said she really, truly, loved him just a trick? But if they were a trick, what would their goal be? Would it be in his best interest to blindly follow this strange woman?
***
Jay was there, sitting on an old log, for at least an hour. She could almost see the gears in his head turning. She could always tell when he was deep in thought, his face scrunching up adorably. She wanted so badly to kiss him, whether it was on the lips or not. The sudden desire for affection overwhelmed her. She hadn’t thought about it much during his absence, the ninja were her family, and they were always very affectionate. But as it always was with Jay, she yearned for a different type of love. The type that even the strongest of her platonic relationships couldn’t give her.
He suddenly stood up from his log, “I’ll go with you to the monastery."
She didn't reply for a second, shocked by his abrupt change of heart.
“You will?” She paused for a second to collect her racing thoughts. “What changed your mind? An hour ago you seemed convinced that I was crazy!” She tried not to let her disbelief cloud her judgment. But the rollercoaster of emotions she had felt over the past day made it incredibly difficult.
“I don’t have a particularly ‘good’ answer, it honestly sounds kinda stupid in retrospect. But, like, gosh, I feel absolutely insane! I’ve been having this constant war in my mind ever since I put on that mask. It’s like I’m a child of divorce but my parents are the two halves of my brain!”
"One side desperately wants to cling to the hope that maybe going with you would make me happy, give me a purpose. And the other side feels like the personification of sickness. It’s like putting on the mask invited a demon inside my head. And who knows? Maybe it did! But I just think that maybe, if I give the monastery a chance, give you a chance, I could enjoy living my life again! Ever since I woke up 5 years ago with no idea who I was, I’ve felt like some integral part of me is missing. So I went searching for it, and I found out I’m the elemental master of lighting! So obviously, that was it right? I may not have my memories, but who needs ‘em when you have superpowers? But guess what? I still felt like a puzzle abandoned right before its last piece could be placed.”
“And then I met you. I. Met. You. And for some reason, even through the anger and confusion, your presence made me feel something I’ve never felt before. Something I want to feel again. So I have the hope that if I follow you this time, maybe I’ll get the answers I’ve been waiting for.”
At his admission, Nya could feel the metaphorical weight she had been carrying float away. Ever since she saw him glare at her with those horrible red eyes, she was constantly on edge. She yearned to embrace him, but she thought that would be too much too soon, so she held that desire in.
“Okay. Well, I’ve felt too many emotions today. So let's set up camp and we can head to the monastery in the morning.”
*
The walk back to the monastery was boring at best, and incredibly awkward at worst. But after the previous day draining her physically and emotionally, she was glad for the silence.
Nya had done a lot of introspection over the days prior, forced to confront the feelings she had been repressing for years. Over a time that felt so long, but in reality was only about a day, her life had changed again. Oh, how her life kept on changing. Nya had wished for a lot of things over the years, through every hardship she faced. But then? Then, all she wished for was time . Time for Jay. Time to process her trauma. Time to heal without another world-ending catastrophe stealing that from her.
But, intrinsically, she knew she wouldn’t get that. She’d get a month or two, maybe even a year. But sooner rather than later, something would require the ninja. Something horrific would happen to her friends, to her family . So Nya would have to do what she always did, grin and bear it. No matter how much she wished, she wouldn’t get the time she so desperately needed.
*
When they made it back to the monastery, Nya showed him the many photos of the two of them, dating back to the beginning of the ninja. Back when she was just a teenager, hoping to be more than just ‘Kai’s sister’. She thought she saw tears in his eyes, but she wasn’t sure.
Nya gave him free rein to look through all his old things. She hoped that maybe if he did that, something would magically jog his memory. She wasn’t stupid, she knew that looking at an old gi wouldn’t undo whatever gave him amnesia, but she needed something to keep herself sane in all her grief.
And maybe the recognition in his eyes, when he saw his old teddy bear, was just a trick of the light.