Chapter Text
I remember it clear as day. It was a completely ordinary Monday morning. Memorial Day. The second week of summer break, so no college classes. A stressful semester had just passed me by, and I was planning on spending the break with friends. Even that evening I was going to go with Gabby to see Maleficent in theaters. But Mom woke me up early, way earlier than anyone should be waking up. She shook me awake, actually. My phone, on the nightstand, was buzzing in a loop, the same way that it buzzes when we get an Amber alert. With her face obscured by frayed, chaotic hair, Mom said to me,
“Stay away from the windows, Camry. Don’t look outside.”
“H... what?”
“Get in the closet.”
She pulled me out of bed. Befuddled, I waddled over to the closet with her, and she shut the door.
“Stay in there and don’t come out, baby. Okay?”
“... okay.”
“And don’t look at your phone, either.”
I didn’t grab my phone, anyway. I heard the footsteps of Mom walking away from the closet, the shutters to the window in my room close, then Mom walking out. All I was wearing was a blanket and my underwear.
...
The haziness of just having been asleep faded.
“Mom, what’s going on?” I finally yelled out.
“Don’t worry about it, baby,” she yelled from probably the kitchen. “Just stay in the closet.”
“No, Mom, what’s going on? Why can’t I look outside?”
“Just don’t! I’m telling you not to do it, so don’t!”
I heard Alexis bark. Mom’s tone settled as she tried to sweet-talk her, but Alexis was already riled up. Mom couldn't calm her now. Mom groaned loudly, then dragged Alexis back to me.
“Please calm Alexis down, Camry. And don’t let her out. Okay?” Mom shoved the golden retriever into the closet and quickly closed it.
“Mom, what’s going on outside?” I could feel my throat close and my heart beat faster.
“I’ll explain it later, honey. Just stay in there. It’s really dangerous outside at the moment and I want you to be safe. There’s... a tornado outside.”
I heard a loud screech outside, followed by a crash.
“Did someone just wreck?”
“I- I don’t know. I’m closing all the windows.” Then Mom scurried away.
“Mom! Mom!” I called out, but she didn’t respond. Alexis was barking and whimpering and rubbing against the door. The light in the closet flickered for a moment, and Alexis howled.
“Alexis,” I consoled, petting her mane, “calm down, calm down. It’s- It’s okay. Don’t worry, Alexis.” But she wasn’t calm and neither was I. My breath came quick, and I was shaking. Alexis ignored me and kept yipping. She bumped into the door and opened it slightly, and I leaped up and slammed it shut.
“No, Alexis, no! You can’t!” I bopped her on the nose, which momentarily stifled her cries. She whined and retreated a few feet from me. A wave of remorse washed over me.
“Oh, no, oh no, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m scared, that’s all, just like you.” I crouched over and hugged Alexis. Finally, she calmed down.
The door to the closet opened. Mom was standing there with the family pistol in her hand, wide-eyed.
“Oh my god, Mom, why do you have the gun?” I cried.
“To protect you,” she answered forwardly. “I closed all the windows. Don’t open them, and don’t look at your phone. Stay close to me, okay? We’re going into the basement.”
“Can I grab my phone?” I ask.
“Sure, whatever! Don’t turn it on.” The lights in my room kept flickering as I sped over to my phone and tightened it in my grasp. Alexis followed me and Mom to the stairs, and we opened the hatch and descended into the basement. The boiler and many old boxes from when we moved here were all that detailed this dim, musty space.
““Why can't I look at my phone?” I inquired nervously as she closed the hatch behind her.
“I don’t know, Camry! And it doesn’t matter. We’ll be safe down here.”
“Mom, I’m scared.” I felt helpless, like a child that was having a nightmare. “Why can’t I see what’s going on for myself?”
“Because... it’s just better if you don’t.”
Suddenly, there was a booming crash, and the roof of the basement shook. The singular light in the ceiling dislodged and shattered on the ground, leaving us in near-total darkness. I screamed, and Alexis began barking again. I heard Mom breathe in hard as the rumbling persisted and what sounded like debris collapsing above us.
“Camry, you are a grown-ass woman!” Mom bellowed over Alexis’s howling. “Calm down!”
I wept, “Mom, I- I don’t know what’s going on! Did someone just crash into our house?”
Mom’s voice toned down, realizing I was in tears. “Turn on your phone light, baby.”
I turned on my phone light amidst sniffling. Mom’s middle-aged, pale face was sullen, and she was gripping the gun tightly; it was as though she had just watched someone get stabbed in broad daylight.
“Well?” I insisted between sobs. I was trying to control my breathing as a headache set in.
“Camry, I can’t explain what’s going on outside because I don’t know myself. All I know is that you can’t look outside, or... bad things will happen.”
“What kind of bad things?”
“I don’t know, baby. I don’t know, but I think what’s going on outside is because of people looking outside. So we’re going to stay in here until everything is safe.”
“Alright...” I retract, my respiration finally returning to its regular pace. The ceiling creaked loudly as we conversed, “But... how do you know we can’t look outside? Did you look outside?”
“I didn’t, but there was a national alert. It said some kind of inclement weather, and it warned to stay indoors, not look at the news, and get in a windowless – my Lord Camry, can you please get that dog to shut up?” Alexis’s indignant voice was unleashing all her anger in every direction.
“She’s scared, Mom.”
“I know she is, but we don’t need to be making loud noises. Apparently, the weather is causing... dangerous... people to come out.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t have a clue,” she answered, frustrated. “That’s just what it said in the warning. Just please quiet Alexis down. You’re better with her than me.”
“Okay...” I never liked the way Mom treated Alexis, but I guess she was never a dog person. I knelt down and wrapped my arms around Alexis, who posed proudly as she barked at nothing. I snugged my fingers into the layers of her fur and began rubbing the back of her head softly, as though polishing a priceless jewel.
“It’s okay, Alexis. It’s okay.”
Alexis growled but stayed her barks. The creaking in the ceiling got louder. The groan of bending wood echoed out from the basement hatch.
"I have you. Don’t worry.” Alexis relaxed. I could feel her tension release. Mom looked up and went bug-eyed. Immediately, she leapt toward me.
“You, me, and Mom—we're safe.”
“Camry!”
I glanced up right as it happened. The ceiling collapsed around the hatch, under the weight of the rubble, right in front of me. Revealing the glowing outside. And I saw it.
I saw it.
I saw it.
The wretched, beautiful, immaculate, hellish thing, of every infinity and zero ever conceived by man and beyond, completely incomprehensible but impossibly perfect, stretching exponentially in every direction, exposing colors and ideas I had never before considered, engulfed me. My thoughts went blank as my eyes swallowed every drop of this singular moment, replacing any instinct for survival or distraction with a deadly, delicious desire to absorb every one of its fractioning and multiplying details.
I crossed for less than a second with what had become of our sky. Something better, something greater, had taken its place, and in that microscopic moment in time, it had taken its root within me. Me and Alexis.
“CAMRY, NO!” Mom grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me and Alexis away from the exposure in the ceiling. I stumbled and rolled across the ground with Alexis in tow. I was in a trance, trying, in a vain human way, to understand what it was I just looked at. Mom grabbed a shelf stacked with boxes and, carefully, without looking, pushed it in front of the hole so the opening was no longer visible.
Finally, I woke up from my stupor.
“Ow... Mom, why did you do that?” I said from the floor.
“Camry, oh my God Camry. Why did you do look outside!?” Mom spun around to me and yelled.
“The ceiling collapsed, Mom. Of course I would look at it. And what was that outside?”
But she didn’t respond. Instead, she was looking at me, clutching the gun tighter than before and shaking. Her face was utter terror.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” I tried to get up but felt strangely heavy and crumbled back to the ground. Alexis wasn’t barking anymore. She wasn’t making any noise at all. I looked down. She wasn’t there. But there was a heavy mound of golden-haired flesh, four canine limbs, and a limp dog’s head attached to my torso.
“OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK?” I screamed and rolled over, dropping my phone. Alexis’s lifeless, twitching body rolled with me. Her fur stretched across my chest, her limbs rapidly emaciating and my own limbs thickening. I felt painful stretching and contorting over every single part of my body. My flesh on my torso was being pulled back and forth like dough and a million pins were breaking through my skin. I kicked my legs and cried.
“MOM, WHAT’S GOING ON? WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?”
“Camry - oh my God, oh my God, Camry, please – please, shit, fuck! Honey, calm down!”
My entire face felt like it was being shaped into a clay pot. I was being stabbed. Everywhere. There was blood, I was covered in blood and gold hair. There were little knives slashing through my every pore. My vision turned blurry – I wasn’t sure if it was the pain of what was happening or me getting lightheaded from the screaming. I slammed my distorting arms into the ground over and over to try and distract myself from the torture. Then my face started splitting and I couldn’t hold anything back. I screeched, a wet howl full of blood and tears and horror. Everything was hot, my hands were like puddy, my spine felt like it was broken into a thousand pieces, and I was seeing so many multiples, dozens of Moms looking over me in shock and disgust within the little light my phone’s flashlight could provide. Everything she was saying was so loud, and yet I could barely understand it.
“Camry, calm down! Please, calm down! I’m here! I’m still here!” she said.
“AAAAHHHHHH, AAAHHH AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!”
“Camry!” Mom tried to yell over my screaming, “You’re... you’re safe! You’re not dying! You’re alive, and I’m gonna protect you, baby!”
I was hyperventilating. I felt like I was breathing out of all the holes in my face, air entering and exiting freely from every orifice. My face—whatever was left of it—was sticky with streams of salty tears and thick, dark blood. I probably looked like I had just come out of the womb.
“M... momma...?” I groaned weakly. My voice was darker than I remembered. It oozed.
“Yes!” Mom’s voice trembled. “Yes, baby. I’m here. You’re... okay. You’re okay. Breathe. Breathe.” It sounded like she was trying to convince herself of that just as much as me.
I breathed, this time only from my mouth. My chest rose as air actually went in, rested, and left. I gulped, and I focused on how it felt. The saliva slid down the chute in my neck and moved unpleasantly in my body before landing inside me, somewhere my stomach isn’t supposed to be. I gazed around and made out the details of the basement again, through the blurriness. The dark basement, lit just by my phone. That’s where I am. With Mom. Who’s here to protect me. I’m safe. The thing outside can’t hurt me in here. I’m okay.
I’m okay.
Mom is on top of me, empty-handed. She left the gun on the ground. She’s hugging me and in tears, her face shoved in the mess of golden fur and the mounds of flesh protruding from my chest.
“You’re okay. Stay with me baby, stay with me.”
“I’m... here. Mom. What... happened?”
“I don’t know what happened but you’re alive. That’s what matters. We can figure the rest out later.”
“O... kay...”
My head deflated, and the damage of whatever just happened caught up with my will to remain conscious. Everything rapidly waned; the quadruples I was seeing became triples, then doubles, then singles. My breathing slowed down to nearly a halt. The last thing I saw was Mom’s desperate weeping visage inches from me. And then it all went black.