Chapter Text
Lawrence stares at the computer screen without blinking, feeling a migraine begin to form in the back of his head, the stiffness of his hand on the notebook, and sleep making him nod off at times; he lets out a sigh and, taking off his glasses, begins to massage his tired eyes.
Thomas loves his job, he really does; the pressure that the conclave week had put on him had been almost inhuman, he still remembered the scorching heat of the shower, the lingering fatigue in his body and the warmth of the weary tears he was about to shed on the third day in the dining room; however, that bitter moment was long over; Innocent had been elected Pope thanks to a miracle from heaven, and Thomas, like the rest of the Curia, had found rest in an unknown hand that had kindly agreed to lead them.
However, there were days when the experience in the Vatican became chaotic, bordering on the incoherence that the conclave had been, and although Thomas in another reality would have taken advantage of the fact that his work was over to leave his position as dean, it seemed that God had other plans for him, specifically, accompany Vincent in his new life; from the moment in which with his kind hands he had held him and asked him to stay by his side, well, Lawrence hadn't had much of a choice but to accept it, if part of it was due at the time to an unrecognized devotion Thomas was brave enough to accept it now.
In the last year and a half, Vincent had slowly but surely settled into his new responsibility. Lawrence was grateful every day for the company that Aldo, as Secretary of State, and Ray, as His Eminence's personal secretary; not only did they help with the load the Pope had to carry, but they also provided Thomas with permanent and reliable company, thanks to them, he could trust that if he failed at something important, at least he wouldn't have a nosy conservative like Tedesco bothering him. Aldo was a friend of years, perhaps the person he trusted the most before Vincent came into his life. And Ray, well, Ray, was his saviour, basically. He was the one in charge of solving more modern social issues that neither he nor Aldo were capable of understanding, and part of that was due to his younger age and ease with technology.
If Thomas had been given the chance, Ray would now be in charge of operating the computer instead of him. He believed he had made it clear that he could not properly operate an electronic device created after his birth without it spontaneously stopping working, but sadly, neither Ray nor Sister Agnes were there to save him.
Agnes was in France on a well-deserved (and late) break, and Ray was millions of miles away with Aldo accompanying his eminence on his tour of Latin America; in short, Thomas was alone, and honestly, it was all his fault.
When the four of them had begun planning the tour a few months earlier, Thomas had become consumed with the task as if this were the last time he would be able to serve His Holiness. Aldo had scolded him at the time for his recklessness with his “sweet touch,” which had served no purpose except to make him feel guilty and make him begin working in secret from his friend’s judgment. It hadn’t helped at all once Ray found him asleep in his office, hundreds of papers fluttering across the table and his phone ringing loudly. It wasn’t until Sister Agnes cornered him in the dining room and forced him to eat, threatening to tell Vincent, and having fallen asleep during one of their nightly chats with the same man that, Thomas accepted the break that Vincent had so kindly and so concernedly offered him.
Unfortunately, that break came too late; a month before the tour was due to begin, Thomas fell ill, and with a listlessness that he couldn't identify as coming from him or Vincent, they had to rely on him for company on the trip.
Still Lawrence did not let himself be intimidating; he had to take care of Casa Santa Marta in the absence of his colleagues, ensure the Vatican ran smoothly, and handle the visits made to the site by various bishops, nuns, and priests; this was in addition to the obligation to call His Holiness via video call every night to ensure his safety.
Aldo called him obsessive, Ray worrisome, Vincent simply accepted him with affection.
Things were supposed to run smoothly; the Pope's absence from Rome was supposed to be an incentive to keep people from flocking to papal lands. Lawrence naively assumed it would be three months of calm and without fuss; what he hadn't counted on was the conservative group Tedesco had brought to Casa Santa Marta, no more than fifty bishops and priests whose stay was justified as a cleansing and healing trip.
“Besides, Tomasso,” the Italian said at the time while smiling with that disturbing expression, “we will help take care of His Holiness’s sacred house, so you won’t be so alone.” The way he said it, with the dangerous glint in his eyes, brought no relief to poor Thomas, who instead of finding relief from his burden had to ensure the comfort of fifty Italians who prowled his home like hungry hyenas.
When Aldo found out (and consequently Vincent) he was furious; clearly Tedesco's presence at Casa Santa Marta just when the Pope and his allies were away was no coincidence. He perhaps assumed that none of them were around, and upon finding old Thomas back as administrator, he found a certain amusement in it that encouraged him to stay. Aldo was on the point of returning to Italy at that moment, and it wasn't until Thomas reminded him of his responsibility to the Pope that he calmed down. Ray, for his part, was worried about leaving Lawrence with such a heavy burden without him to help him, and Vincent could only apologize with gentle words, the weight of responsibility on his shoulders fighting the urge to pull Thomas to his side. Lawrence only assured him of his safety, as well as his health, promising to let him know if things got too dire, and only saying goodbye when he was sure that His Holiness would not blame himself for his situation.
The next day, when Bishop Mandorff and Cardinal Sabbadin arrived at the command of Aldo and Vincent, Thomas promised to thank them that evening for their help.
Things started to move slowly, but surely, the Pope's tour was a success, his presence in each country warmly received, millions of parishioners gathering in groups out of a desire to see him and hopefully speak with him, Aldo calls at night complaining about the lack of security and the carelessness to which Vincent sometimes exposed himself, naively he calls it; Ray talks to him about some of Vincent's private things, nothing too worrying and at times offers his help with technological things that he doesn't understand.
Vincent, for his part, takes advantage of their moments together on screen to tell him about his experiences, how warm and nostalgic he felt when he visited Mexico, the overwhelming joy he encountered in Central America; the pain he felt upon seeing the borders of Panama, Costa Rica, and Colombia; the misery and pain he felt when he visited Venezuela, its reality so threatened by a government that ignored the lives of its citizens; the love he found in South America; and the excitement of visiting Argentina, his final destination. Thomas listened to everything with loving attention; he felt the day's weariness throb through the old bones of his body; his vision blurred at times, but he never dared interrupt Vincent, especially when he spoke with such enthusiasm about his native continent.
But today was different; Tedesco had gone out of his way to be a jerk, had caused a heavier workload by moving bishops without his supervision to another part of the Vatican and bringing with him a more demanding group at the last minute; Mandorff had been in charge of a party for one of the orphanages while Sabbadin had taken care of some political recipients who had come to Rome early for his meeting with the Pope, Lawrence for his part had been in charge of the renovations of the house gardens while trying to control a wave of tourists who had somehow sneaked into a private area of the Vatican, so Tedesco's stupid move had only left him running from side to side controlling his responsibilities making sure that no one felt offended by his inattention; by the end of the day Thomas felt like he was going to faint, the computer glowing with papers that needed to be catalogued and filed, letters to be answered and documents signed.
Lawrence felt himself back in the conclave, perhaps a more demanding one. In the past, he had been blessed with Agnes' help, who took care of the house, Mandorff had been in charge of the cardinals' security, and Ray had done his best to support him with the mundane things: security, journalists, news, and so on. But today, he felt alone, lonely, and miserable; staring dazedly at the artificial light cast by the screen. Even in his time as dean, without the responsibilities he'd normally had to bear, when his late father had been too weak to accept his visit, not even in those moments of limbo had he felt as lonely as he did now.
At times, he wondered if Vincent in revenge for being chosen as Pope had asked him to stay; if Vincent couldn't get away from the problems that were the Curia, neither could Lawrence.
Letting out a sigh he scolds himself for it, exhaustion is causing him to think terrible things even about Innocent, but God, how he wished he hadn't behaved irresponsibly, hadn't got sick, maybe right now he would be there by Aldo's side, listening to the whispers and gossip Ray would be telling about the recent conversation between Vincent with Milei, the president of Argentina, perhaps making a joke here and there, causing Aldo to be unable to hide the laughter he was holding back, Lawrence by his side watching with amusement as Vincent shook the Argentine political system with just one word.
Lawrence looks down at his phone; it's four in the morning in Rome, which means it's eight in Argentina. The Pope's group would have just arrived at the hotel where they were staying, tomorrow (or today he supposes) they must leave again for the Vatican, they would arrive in the afternoon which means that Thomas must finish sending the signed documents with the arrangements for his arrival, but nostalgia eats away at him.
He can call now. Even though it's late in Argentina, he knows Vincent is still awake, his group perhaps all holed up in their room making final arrangements for their trip. Without taking his eyes off the screen of his battered phone, whose background is nothing but the landscape of Rome, Thomas takes a deep breath, grabs it, and starts calling directly. He doesn't want the Pope to see him, not in his current state. He knows he'll scold him for staying awake so late, but the desire to at least listen to him, to speak to him, is enough to send a shiver of anxiety down his spine.
“Hello, speaking with the secretary of the Holiness, how may I help you?” Thomas sighs, pinching his brow. He had forgotten that he had thrown his phone into the turtle pond that morning.
“Ray, it’s me,” he speaks softly, listening to the gasp coming from the other side.
“His Eminence, I would ask why you are calling me from this number, but I'm worried about why are you still awake,” Ray talks, and he allows himself to smile, faithful to his concern.
“We had some complications,” he explains, listening to the other side’s actions. “Tedesco tried to do something today, and among those of us who could, we had to distribute more tasks.”
“I hope you're not to be working late again Thomas, you know how his Holiness gets when he finds out” Aldo's voice sounds somewhat distant, he supposes they put it on loudspeaker for him
“Come on, Aldo, I’m not the only one who worries.” Listening to Vincent is like a drink of water in the desert, the softness of his voice enough to lighten the weight on her shoulders. “Thomas, dear, tell me you’re not working late.” His casual scolding makes him chuckle.
“No more than usual your Holiness” he knows that his explanation is not enough to appease him, so he decides to calm him down “I'm just finishing uploading the signed files about your arrival tomorrow”
“I hope you arrive at the airport to receive us” the not so subtle desire to see him marked in his voice relaxes him, he is happy to know that he at least is not the only one who wants to see them
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world. You’d like to know I’ve taken good care of your home.”
“I’d rather know that you’ve been taking care of yourself,” his soft scolding makes itself known and Lawrence shrinks a little from guilt
“Sabbadin has had an eye on him since he arrived Vincent, nothing but exaggerated responsibilities and friendly discussions with the patriarch of Venice” Aldo butts into the conversation and Thomas frowns at the computer for his words
“Have you been watching me, Aldo?”, he asks sarcastically
“No more than Your Holiness here, you are not going to tell me that the convenient appearance of Mandorff was nothing more than a coincidence” he replies and Lawrence smiles at the Vincent's babbling in the background, as well as Ray's laughter
“I guess I should be thankful Ray didn’t give me a guard dog too,” he replies amusedly.
“No more than what Your Eminence is used to,” is all he answers, and Lawrence assumes that the group of university students who came to help him with the Vatican’s downed computer system already has an explanation. “Have they been helpful?”, asks curiously
“They have been very helpful, Ray, thank you. If it weren't for them, I think Tedesco would be much more unbearable,” he sighs, massaging his eyes again through the fog he feels growing.
“Speaking of Tedesco, what new misery did he put you through today?” Aldo asks, and the beep of his phone lets him know they want to switch to a video call. Lawrence wants to refuse, but he knows that would worry them more, so he places the phone against the computer screen and clicks accept. Ray is closest to the phone, standing with a folder in his hand, Vincent in his pure whiteness sitting not far away, his hair a little messy, and Aldo behind him with a glass of wine in his hand. Lawrence notices the not-so-high lights and the fact that they have the phone on a low surface which makes him feel a little below; the image is so homey, so normal that Lawrence doesn’t care if he looks like Scrooge on his last journey.
“He decided that today would be an excellent day to move the bishops to another part of the Vatican while he gave me last minute notice of the group of priests from Venice that would enter today leading one of the masses, all this while we were trying to control a group of tourists who snuck into one of the private areas while I was helping with the restoration of the garden” Ray lets out a noise of commiseration, Vincent’s worried look is almost too much and the curse that he is sure Aldo is letting out into his glass is not audible.
“Tedesco always has a perfect knack for knowing when to be disruptive. The same thing happened at the conclave. He knew today would be one of the busiest days because of our arrival tomorrow, and yet he did his best to interrupt more than necessary” Aldo released and started walking from side to side
“We don't know if Tedesco did it on purpose, you know that because of the attention the media has shown that many people began to attend the Vatican masses, perhaps he wanted to involve his brothers in the new responsibilities” Vincent says kindly, always the one concerned about other people, Aldo looks at him incredulously as if wondering how he could be so innocent and Lawrence lets out a laugh that catches the attention of the three
“Whether he did it on purpose or not, it's over now. They took charge of today's masses, which in part took some responsibility off my shoulders, and we knew how to handle the new group, I knew how to handle it,” he clarifies, noting with amusement the snort that Aldo lets out. “I have been dean for many years, I know my responsibility, my job, I know how to handle unexpected things,” he says, turning his gaze to Vincent, warmth running through his body at the smile he gives him. “The only tiring thing was focusing on so many tasks, giving new responsibilities, everything was resolved, and it wasn’t until very late that I could focus on the documents.”
Aldo sits down rudely next to Vincent, who looks at him affectionately, turning his gaze to Aldo and gently patting him on the arm “Still, there was no reason for him to bother you” is the only thing he lets out, and now the laughter doesn't only resonate on Lawrence's side.
“Tomorrow we will be with him to help him, my friend,” Vincent reassures him without removing his hand, and Aldo sighs into his glass looking back at him, Thomas notices the relief and affection hidden in his eyes because of his words; at first it had been difficult for Aldo to get used to Vincent's presence, but like an angel, over time he had known how to treat him and thankfully for Thomas two of the most important people in his life had become close enough to seek relief in each other's company; Lawrence regretted not being with them there, but he was glad to know that neither of them was alone, well three, knowing that Ray was with them was an unexpected but more than welcome relief.
“Are you having trouble with the documents?” Ray asks drawing the attention of the pair behind
“No more than usual” he answers and sees the other’s mocking look “You know, like many here, that my ability with technology is limited” he clarifies tiredly and sees Aldo laugh into his glass
“Is that why you’re calling us from another number?”, Vincent asks curiously, turning his gaze
“No, nothing like that, it was simply an accident involving a stubborn turtle and a nearby pond,” he explains, and now the laugh Aldo lets out is loud enough to notice; Vincent shakes his head in amusement and thinks he can notice the mocking look Ray is trying to hide. “For better or worse, the IT team Ray called gave me one of the phones that was in the lost and found.”
“I already saved the number your eminence, I hope this one lasts a little longer, hoping there are no more incidents with the turtles” with a hint of mockery Ray says and Aldo hides a little in Vincent’s cassock, his shoulders shaking, the pope leaves him and gently attracting him, he just pats his back without taking his amused gaze off the phone.
“I have done an excellent job in the gardens of your Holiness, Ray, there will be no more incidents,” Lawrence replies with narrowed eyes, and Ray shrugs, feigning innocence.
“I don’t think Lawrence will like the gift they gave us in Brazil very much,” says Aldo standing up again, he looks knowingly at Vincent, who shakes his head at him.
“What gift?”, settling into the chair, asks curiously, watching as Vincent moves his head more firmly while Aldo, ignoring him, looks at the phone with a smile.
“The diocese in Brazil heard of His Eminence's love for animal life, specifically his love for turtles, and with the permission of the animal life committee, they have decided to give the Pope five river turtles,” he explains, and Thomas lets out a sigh as he lowers his head. He can hear Aldo's laughter and Ray sitting down in one of the armchairs.
“I told Aldo not to tell you, we didn't want to burden you with more work, I know that if you had known you would have worked harder in the garden” Vincent tells him with that soft voice making him look up, he has an expression like that of a scolded child, he moves his hands in his lap anxiously and that is what makes Lawrence unable to maintain a facade of anger
“At least we don’t have any more animals roaming around,” is all he says, but the stiffness that takes over the dark-skinned man's body makes him frown and look at Aldo who hides a mischievous look in his wine “there are no more animals, right?”
“Maybe a cat, or two,” Vincent answers quietly, seeming to sink into the cushions, and Thomas closes his eyes tiredly.
“You should be proud Thomas” Aldo calls settling in “he held back a lot, we were on the verge of adopting a dog and a cat in almost every country we visited”
“Besides the rabbit they wanted to give us in Costa Rica,” says Ray without looking up from his folder, causing Aldo to point to it and then extend his hands in a gesture of explanation, Vincent sighs lowering his head
“Two cats?”, Thomas tells him, making him look up, his black hair falling over his face
“Moses and Joshua,” he says defeated, causing him to let out a laugh that echoes off the walls of his room. Vincent apparently finds his reaction reassuring because he smiles back. “We found them in Chile and Perú. The first one was just outside our hotel room, and the second one entered one of the churches we visited. They quickly became attached, and my dear Thomas,” he says, drawing his attention, his eyes soft in a silent plea. “I couldn’t leave them when they followed me everywhere,” he explains finally, and Lawrence just gently shakes his head.
“I suppose that the Casa Santa Marta should be equipped for its two new guests” he says, making him smile softly. “Even so, I won’t be the one to tell Sister Agnes,” he says with amusement, seeing the other pale a little.
“With pleasure I'll take on that task” is the only thing he says, bravely raising his head at the new challenge. Lawrence just shakes his head in amusement, but a yawn interrupts him. He feels the weight of the day crushing him, and although he wants to stay and continue talking to them, he doesn't think he can take it any more. He's already slurring his words, and the cloudiness in his head almost doesn't allow him to think. “Thomas dear, go rest,” Vincent tells him, making him look at the blurry screen in front of him. It seems that now that he's managed to talk to Vincent, his body has begun to shut down.
“We'll take care of everything Thomas” Aldo's voice tells him “just send the documents to Ray and go to bed,” he says and sees Ray nod.
“Well, if our pontiff wishes it,” he says tiredly but amusedly watching the other
“I do, Thomas,” he answers softly, and even though he can’t focus, he knows that he is smiling, “Good night, Lawrence, God bless you,” he finishes.
“Good Night, Your Holiness, love you,” he says calmly, moving his hand to the screen, not noticing the look of surprise that takes over Vincent, the wine that Aldo spits forcefully into his glass, or the shriek that Ray lets out; he just turns off the conversation, takes the phone away, finishes sending the documents to Ray, and turning everything off, gets up, walks to the bathroom, brushes his teeth, returns to the bedroom, goes to bed, and just before entering unconsciousness, his mind repeats his farewell.
Thomas wants to react, truly, but the tiredness is so great that he is not even able to lament his words, because like the dust of dreams his eyes close tightly, making him faint.