Chapter Text
Cosmo: Welcome to Baking with Sprout and Cosmo, the only show where something will catch on fire guaranteed!
Sprout: No we’re not doing that intro-
Twisted Dandy: It feels like you don’t love me anymore.
Astro: I-I do, but it’s a bit hard to when you could easily kill me if you wanted to.
Goob: So… I have this crush.
Scraps: Oh! You should tell her!
Goob: It’s not a her.
Vee: *Groans and hands Scraps a couple tapes*
Scraps: Who is it then?
Goob: (Quietly) It’s… Shrimpo.
Vee: *Sighs and hands Scraps a few more tapes*
Astro: The thing about Dandy is… He’s always happy-go-lucky. Usually ominously.
Rodger: What do you mean?
Astro: Have a look.
Dandy: And… THROW the incriminating documents INTO THE BONFIRE!!!
Rodger: HEY I WAS USING THOSE FOR MY CASE-
Shrimpo: Standing next to Dandy makes me feel weak. Look at this dumbass flower. The fucking flower is taller than I am. He’s winning and I’m losing. (I actually don't know who's taller and I don't feel like comparing in rp mode just roll with it)
*In a text group*
Doesn’t deserve the attention: hey can yall just not talk to me today?
Bipolar disorder: Why not?
Narcissistic hoe: Yeah, why not?
Doesn’t deserve the attention: i am running off of 3 hours of sleep, murderous intent, and drugs
Doesn’t deserve the attention: plz just dont today
Mean Girl: i know that asshole is gonna take that as a challenge
Basic bitch (hot???): What drugs? I’m curious.
Doesn’t deserve the attention: not telling lol
[NOTE: the contacts are based off what I think Vee would save them as. Here’s who everyone is. Doesn’t deserve the attention: Dandy, Bipolar Disorder: Razzle and Dazzle, Narcissistic hoe: Glisten, Mean Girl: Connie, Basic bitch (hot???): Shelly]
Tisha: HAHAHAHAHAHA- What are you wearing???
Shrimpo, wearing a maid outfit: I lost a bet.
Tisha: I’m never letting you forget about this, you know?
Shrimpo: Just fuck off already, okay?
Dandy, pointing to an opened capsule of ichor: You’re gonna fix my life you little shit.
Gigi: Alright kids… stay quiet… this is how you steal without getting caught. *Dandy slams open the door* Oh shit.
Dandy: Okay everybody! This is how you catch a criminal!
Gigi: Run!
Vee: Alright, for 1 point, name this number known for inspiring the name of a company and being extremely large.
BUZZ
Vee: Yes?
(any toon): Is it your mom?
Vee: *sighs faintly* No, it is not my mom. Serious answers only. -1 point.
Connie: Hey, do you know the password to Shrimpo’s computer?
Vee: Fuck you.
Connie: Hey!
Vee: No, no. His password is ‘Fuckyou’
Connie: No numbers? Idiot doesn’t know how to make a good password.
Vee: Yeah. That’s how I was able to find it out.
Dandy: You look good in that cloak.
Astro: You know how else I would look good?
Dandy, no hesitation: With it off.
Astro, at the same time: Next to yo- wait, what?
Connie, secretly narrating: Here we have a pair of good boyfriends.
Dandy: So… should we tell them we’re together?
Astro: I’m not sure…
Connie: Don’t tell them I’m here. But over here, we have the disaster boyfriends.
Shrimpo: *throwing rocks at Goob* STAY! AWAY! YOU! DEMON!
Goob: LET ME LOVE YOU
Bobette: Hot take: Not all rocks are good boys.
Dandy: Blocked.
Bobette: Sometimes, they’re good girls!
Dandy: … Unblocked.
Scraps: Here’s a fun Christmas idea! We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing whoever’s under it, we fight them.
Rudie: Scraps, no.
Scraps: Mistlefoe.
Goob: *Claps*
Ginger: Goob, don’t encourage her. I know she’s your sister, but this is a terrible idea.
*Rodger asked Dandy to get him coffee*
Dandy: And… Here you go! A nice, hot cup of coffee!
Rodger: … This is cold.
Dandy: *ahem* A nice cup of coffee!
Rodger: *Takes a sip* This tastes terrible.
Dandy: Listen here you little shit I got you coffee take it or leave it.
*Shrimpo is screaming about god knows what and he just threw something*
Looey: How does all that anger fit into someone so small?
Rodger: *points at Astro* I KNOW YOU KISSED THEM THAT CHRISTMAS!
Astro: Wh- NO! I didn’t kiss Dandy!
Vee: You realize he never said who, right?
Astro: ... Shut up.
Twisted Shelly: Someone just messed up a machine! This way! Try to keep up!
Twisted Finn: I’m trying but NOT ALL OF US HAVE LEGS YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH-
Tisha: Hey Dandy…
Dandy: What is it?
Tisha: I saw Vee and Shelly kissing in the women’s bathroom when I went in to clean it.
Dandy: They were WHAT-