Chapter Text
My eyes narrowed as I tried to envision it, this Earth ritual Rick described. “So, let me get this straight… you celebrate by having the family patriarch go outside and roast processed meats over a flame. Then, everyone gets drunk and bombs the sky with colorful missiles?”
“Mm hm,” Rick hummed, barely listening. “You’ve got it, honey. You don’t sound like an extraterrestrial at all.”
It was probably the third or fourth time I asked him about it, but this holiday seemed important to his people— The Americans. He was growing used to my tendency to ask a million questions when I’m nervous, but I was determined to do this “the Fourth of July” right.
Instead, he was more focused on the task at hand. Which, for him, was helping to rub cocoa butter on my swollen tummy. I had ballooned up significantly due to my species slightly faster gestation period. A soft smile formed on his lips as he paused to possibly feel the baby shift in my womb. It was about time for the kicking and moving to start, but our little one seemed to be taking its sweet time. Still, Rick used any excuse to feel and wait, determined to be there when our child finally started to move.
“I thought you two would’ve hit the road by now,” my mother commented as she walked into the living room. Since losing my job at the Federation, I had to move back in with her. It was for the better anyway. This allowed me to focus on becoming a mother myself, and who better to mentor me than my own mother? I couldn’t imagine going through this pregnancy all alone in my one-bedroom apartment. If it weren’t for her, I’d probably mistake every pregnancy symptom as proof that I’m dying.
She paused in front of us, looking Rick over as she rested her hand on her hip. “Don’t you have an early bird special to catch?”
Because Rick visited often to escort me to prenatal appointments and take me out, it didn’t take long for him to meet my mother. To say my mother was shocked to see that I was dating a man 20 years her senior is putting it mildly. “My taste in men is so bad, it gave you grandfather issues?” she had said upon meeting Rick. In front of his face. “Baby, I’m so sorry. God damn.” Rick being Rick, he didn’t take offense. He just shrugged in agreement and farted very loudly.
They’ve gotten along ever since.
“Oh, we got up early, alright,” Rick retorted. “And your daughter caught my worm.”
“Rick, gross!” I chided him.
“Like your mom doesn’t know we have sex. Need I remind you that you’re pregnant.”
My mom just scoffed. “If the only thing you’ve got to offer my daughter is a measly worm, then you ought to start popping some of those little blue pills, shouldn’t you?”
“Mom!”
“Ever heard of a Giant Gippsland?” Rick clapped back. “Look it up. Seriously, you reading this right now. Google it.”
I groaned and pushed myself off the couch. “Okay, I’m going to the bathroom and then we’re heading out. You and mom get all your dick related talking points out the way while I tinkle, m’kay?”
The two of them seemed to laugh triumphantly as they ran me off to the restroom. They continued to chat as the closed door muffled their voices. I looked in the mirror. Would I make a good first impression on Rick’s family? I fear I’ve already botched my introduction to his son-in-law, but I’ve definitely won over Morty. I just need to win over his daughter and granddaughter.
“I don’t know why you’re so worried about impressing my shitty family, anyway,” Rick had said. “They’re just a bunch of assholes. Don’t stress about it.” But I did worry. Everyone’s family is a bunch of assholes, but we still love them and value their opinions. The last thing I’d want is to become a source of conflict. Our child shouldn’t be brought up in the middle of a cold war. I knew what it was like to be rejected by one side of my family; I refused to let that happen to our baby.
I sat on the toilet for several moments just to be alone and gather my thoughts. It’ll be fine. There’s no reason for them not to like me. Accept me, at least. I sighed as I willed myself to finish up and go get this show on the road. When I wiped, I could feel something was wrong. I slowly lifted my hand from behind and there I saw it.
Blood.
My body didn’t know whether to scream or throw up, so I just froze for several more moments. Sure, I had seen more blood than this while menstruating, but I was five months deep into pregnancy. There shouldn’t be any spotting.
Knock, knock. “Did ya fall in?”
My mother’s lighthearted voice snapped me back to reality. I quickly flushed the toilet and finished cleaning up. My heart pounded as I watched the crimson blood turn a diluted pink before finally clearing away.
Rick was packing up a small to-go bag while my mother fetched me. He was clearly ready to go, bordering on a bad mood from all my stalling. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said as he looked up at me.
“Just nervous,” I said before forcing a smile. I gave my mom a goodbye hug. “We’ll be back in a few days.”
As Rick helped me into the space cruiser, I contemplated telling him. It took everything in me not to pull my mother aside and cry into her shoulder. Logic told me that if something was potentially wrong with the pregnancy, then I needed to tell someone—my mom or Rick—and seek help immediately. Shamefully, however, I couldn’t make my mouth move to say anything because I was terrified of Rick’s reaction. Of course, he’d panic and be concerned at first, rushing me to the hospital right away. But… what if I’ve already lost the… the…
It was too horrible for me to even think the words. All Rick wanted was a second chance at being a father. At having a child that wasn’t ripped away from him. What if it happened again? How would he look at me knowing I lost the greatest gift he could ever be given?
We drove through space in relative silence aside from the music on the radio. Thankfully, it wasn’t too out of the ordinary for us. Sometimes we talked but often we just listened to the music. Inside, however, I was screaming. I desperately wanted to break the silence and talk about something, anything. But words failed to come. Yes, what Rick likely perceived as me quietly enjoying his selection of metal and old school hip hop, was really a silent battle that was slowly driving me mad.
When we landed in the quaint suburban driveway of the Smith house, I couldn’t be more relieved yet anxious. I had already been here several times prior, yet today, my heart was pounding out of my chest. Rick looked at me and took my hand, giving it an assuring squeeze.
“It’ll be fine,” he insisted, his voice laced with equal parts tenderness and irritation.
I took a deep, grounding breath. Rick was right. It would be fine. His family would be curious to see this alien woman that their grandfather had been flying off to see. Maybe they’d even be happy. I hyped myself up to believe that I was feeling excitement rather than anxiety, and let Rick lead me behind the garage. The sounds of 80s and 90s nostalgic hits were being drowned out by bickering.
“Hey, no! I told you guys: no technology!”
I recognized that voice as Rick’s son-in-law. Oof, we did not start things off on a great foot last we met. Hopefully he’ll forgive me for being a little disoriented at the time, being split into two people and all.
“Wow, so you can blast shitty dad rock over the Bluetooth speaker, but I can’t even, like, text Trisha? Okay, tech-Nazi.”
That must be Rick’s granddaughter. I honestly didn’t know much about her yet, even less than her mother. She sounded… adolescent.
“Summer, don’t be so goddamned dramatic. Your father isn’t a fascist because he wants us to spend time together as a family. Would it kill you kids to humor him a little?”
That was her. Beth. Rick’s daughter. His little girl who was blown to ashes right in front of his face. Or, at least, her alternate universe self that lived to adulthood. I had closed my eyes many times and tried to imagine what she looked like. What kind of person did Rick’s genetics make? Was she beautiful? Was she kind?
Well, I didn’t have to use my imagination much longer. Within moments, they would go from mystery voices to surprised faces as Rick and I rounded the corner. The bickering ceased and all eyes were on us.
Rick casually draped his arm around my shoulders and let rip a trademark burp. “What’s –buuuurp– up, party people?”
The awkward silence continued for what felt like an eternity but was likely just a few more moments. Beth was the first to speak up. “Dad, there you are! Um—” she paused and looked me over. I tried to keep a neutral expression, but I felt exposed. “Who’s this?”
I froze, feeling like I was under a microscope. Did Rick not tell them about me? I at least expected that they knew he was seeing someone, and the only surprise would be what I looked like. How could he not think it was important to tell them about me?
Before I could pull myself together and speak, Jerry not-so-subtly nudged his wife and whispered. “I told you your father was seeing someone. You didn’t believe me!”
The teenage girl, who had been sitting on a deck chair and taking the opportunity to tap away at her phone, paused and looked up at us for the first time. Clearly, she had heard her father’s terrible attempt at whispering. “Um, what? Grandpa Rick’s with someone new?”
Someone new? What was that supposed to mean? I mean, Rick is in his 70s, so it’s not like I expected him to be celibate for 50 years. Yet, my stomach still sank. He hadn’t mentioned me to his family, yet this previous person was well known?
“Rick, you… you didn’t tell them?” I whispered, trying to push down the lump in my throat.
Rick scratched his chin with a slightly guilty look on his face. “I might have forgotten.”
The tension and confusion in the air was palpable. Thankfully, my saving grace came in the form of the one Smith family member I was well acquainted with. Morty tucked his phone away and strode towards me with open arms. “Hey, you made it!” he said warmly.
I couldn’t have been more grateful, wrapping my arms around the young man eagerly. “Of course I did, kiddo. It’s nice to see you again.”
Beth cleared her throat as she approached us. “Hi,” she said, sticking out a tentative hand. “I’m Rick’s daughter, Beth.”
I summoned as genuine a smile as I could and shook her hand, telling her my name. “Lovely to finally meet you, Beth. I’m Imani.”
The other woman couldn’t stop her eyes from looking me over, especially lingering on my protruding stomach. “Wow, um, forgive me for staring. It’s just that you look… normal.”
I let out a soft chuckle, feeling my nerves ease at Beth’s observation. “Yeah, I’m a bit surprised too. Of all the kooky, weird creatures Rick encounters on his interdimensional travels, who would have thought he’d choose a humanoid from an earthlike planet. Seems like a lot of extra steps for a mundane result, no?”
“Oh?” she raised her eyebrow. “So, you are an alien?”
I nodded. “You could say I’m not from around here. I’m from a distant binary star system. We orbit two smaller suns instead of one big one.”
“Fascinating.”
A genuine smile danced on the blonde woman’s lips, making me feel a pang of acceptance. As she led us into the shade under the patio umbrella, she asked me some more questions about my extraterrestrial origins. I sipped the lemonade she handed me and answered her curious inquiries. Rick nodded his head along with the aforementioned “dad rock” as he absent-mindedly rubbed along my inner thigh, letting us ladies talk. He looked very sexy and aloof with his sunglasses on.
Jerry, the appointed patriarch I suppose, turned his attention to the grill, lighting a match and tossing it on the coals. He jumped back and cowered when the flames roared to life and nearly leapt at him. Thankfully, they just as quickly simmered down. He then turned to his wife and grinned triumphantly, as if this was his first successful attempt at grilling. The blonde woman couldn’t stop a smirk from playing on her lips at her husband’s corny antics.
Beth was pretty. Very pretty. She must have taken after her mother. Don’t get me wrong, I found Rick very handsome in his own way. I fuck him, don’t I? But his defining features are quite a challenge to pull off, especially on a woman—otherworldly blue hair, a thick unibrow, and an oblong face. Beth was an effortless beauty with her blonde hair, plump lips, and blue eyes. It could only be Diane’s features that truly shined through her daughter. It only made me more curious about this woman that once owned Rick’s heart.
“You know, I told you your father had a girlfriend,” Jerry gloated as he placed processed meats onto the grill. “You owe me one.”
Beth groaned and rolled her eyes. “This wasn’t a bet, Jerry. You told me, and I didn’t take you seriously. That does not warrant me owing you something.”
“Aw, not even sex?”
“Jerry!” she scolded, covering her face. “We have company!”
I smiled, feeling relieved that I wasn’t the only one feeling uncertain of myself. “Men, am I right?”
“They’re a handful,” she agreed. “But we’ve got to keep the species going, I guess.”
After placing the lid on the grill, Jerry strode over to the table with a beer in his hand. It seemed to me that he was trying to make up for his sniveling behavior during our last encounter with a confident swagger, but I couldn’t exactly blame him for wanting to give a better impression. “So, let me get this straight, you’re an alien?” he asked.
“I know I don’t look like it, but yes. I am not from Earth,” I answered.
“So, is this like, a form that’s more pleasing to the human eye?”
“Um, no,” I said, a slight blush on my face from the implication. “This is just how I look.”
Rick’s grip on my thigh tightened possessively. “There are trillions of earthlike planets in the universe, Jerry,” he grunted. “I know you’re no math whiz, but that means its statistically inevitable that there are species identical to terrestrial humans.”
“Well… is there any differences?” Jerry continued to question, his eyebrow raised in curiosity.
“Come to think of it,” Rick responded, “the gravity on her planet is 2.2% stronger, making her 2.2% stronger than the average terrestrial human female. Considering the average increased strength of women who regularly work out—no, you idiot. She’s just a human whose planet has two suns.”
“Aw. Boring!” Jerry pouted, sitting down next to his wife. “I always expected you to end up with some weird alien creature. With a zillion eyes and multiple arms!”
Beth shook her head. “I, for one, think it’s sweet and a lot less concerning that you ended up with a human.”
“Can’t beat a classic,” Rick shrugged, a smile on his lips as he looked me over. I couldn’t help but blush, feeling butterflies under his gaze.
The gears were starting to turn smoothly now, making me forget about my earlier anxieties. Rick’s family seemed like down-to-earth, goofy people. I almost began to question myself for stressing over nothing.
“Wait until you see the fireworks,” Morty chimed in, taking a seat next to his mom.
“Oh! Rick told me about those!” I said excitedly. “I’ve been hyped up for this ritualistic celebration of your nation’s founding for weeks now!”
Morty chuckled. “You make it sound like we’re sacrificing to the ancient eldritch gods of America. It’s just an excuse to eat food and enjoy the summer with your family.”
I smiled bashfully. “I guess that’s enough proof that I really am an alien, huh?”
“You’re out of this world, baby,” Rick said, pecking my cheek with a kiss.
There was one member of the family that didn’t seem too impressed. The redheaded teenager sat off to the side, trying to use her cellphone on the downlow. When her father caught her, rushing over to take away her device, she growled in frustration. As instructed by her father, she dragged herself over to the patio to join the family. While everyone else had a laugh at my extraterrestrial naivete, she scoffed.
“Are we really not going to talk about the fact that she’s pregnant?”
The question was pointed; a challenge. I could tell from the way she asked it. I felt called out and exposed all over again.
“Oh my God, wow,” Beth responded tensely. “We’re just going to be extra rude today, so your grandfather’s girlfriend can think earth-humans were all raised in a barn?”
I forced a smile that suggested I wasn’t bothered by the question, though in truth I was quite bothered by the tone. “Why, yes, I am pregnant. I just made 20 weeks.”
Rick flashed a proud smile and rubbed my swollen belly. “That’s right. Our little monster’s finally old enough for the sex reveal. That’s our next appointment.”
“Wo-ow,” Beth responded, her hands clasped together in excitement, but her face betrayed conflicting emotion. “Five months pregnant already? That is… a lot. In a good way!” She suddenly looked panicked. “In a way that is very exciting news for our family!”
“Smooth save, sweetheart,” her father retorted tersely.
Beth sighed and rubbed her face, the self-frustration evident. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She took my hand. “This is very amazing news, really. It’s just that… I guess I never expected to hear that I’m having another little brother or sister at the age of 35. Especially from a girl that’s… so much younger than my father.”
Jerry continued to flip burgers with a smug look on his face. “Humph, and he always makes me the bad guy for getting you pregnant so young.”
“Jerry!”
“What? We’re all thinking it, right? She looks young enough to be his granddaughter!”
Rick narrowed his eyes at them both. “This grown woman young enough to be my granddaughter is older than I was when you were born, Beth.”
I rubbed my arm and shifted uncomfortably. That seemed to make Beth rethink her statement. “No—that’s not… look, I’m sorry,” she said more to me than to her father. “I’m not trying to insinuate that you’re some kid. It’s just…” she looked around awkwardly and sighed. “I just wasn’t expecting news like this.”
“You weren’t this shocked when we thought Grandpa Rick knocked up a whole planet,” the teen girl said flippantly, her arms crossed in guarded defiance.
“Summer!” Rick growled through gritted teeth. But it was too late, my mind was already reeling from that information.
“A… planet?” I questioned, looking up at Rick. He never mentioned any previous girlfriends, just his late wife. While I had to expect he had other flings between now and then, it still stung to find out this way. And how the hell does one get a planet pregnant??
“Don’t worry about it, sweetie,” he said quickly. “It was a one-time thing, several seasons ago, and the kids weren’t even mine.”
I nodded along, wanting to believe him. Not wanting my mind to spiral. But his granddaughter wasn’t done with the surprises.
“Ouch, so she, like, doesn’t even know about your past, huh grandpa? Such a fuckboy.”
“Knock it off, Summer!” Morty cut in. “Grandpa Rick isn’t a fuckboy, okay? He just has that one CHUD baby and that’s it!”
It was as if all the air had been sucked off the planet. I didn’t know what a CHUD was, but I understood loud and clear that Rick had another child. One that wasn’t with his wife or with me, that he never mentioned. I looked up at Rick, half expecting him to roll his eyes and brush it off like a bad joke. But he didn’t. Instead, his jaw was clinched hard enough to shatter his teeth. “What the FUCK is your problem, Morty?”
The young boy’s face turned white, realizing he had only added gasoline to the flame. Summer barely suppressed an amused smirk, watching her brother being crucified with the daggers shooting from Rick’s eyes.
I placed a placating hand on his chest, my eyes big and vulnerable as I looked up at him. “That’s a joke, right baby?”
His breath caught in his throat as he looked down at me. He couldn’t bring himself to give the answer I wanted.
“Whoa, whoa, wait—” Beth cut in, furious for her own reasons. “Seriously, that one is a joke, right dad? Aren’t the CHUDs those freaky horse cannibals in the center of the earth? There is simply no fucking way I have a half-horse sibling, and you didn’t tell me!”
Now Rick was on the spot, sweat cascading down his forehead. And Rick rarely sweated. Morty looked away guiltily, clearly knowing more than he was willing to share.
“…I had too much to drink,” Rick finally said, his eyes avoiding scrutiny.
The ground seemed to sway beneath my feet, and my stomach was in freefall. I thought Beth was his only child. I thought I was his first meaningful relationship since Diane. I thought… damn it, it was naïve, but I thought we had something special. I had no right to expect that he had saved himself for decades, only developing feelings again once a young space cop came into his life, but damn it, I had a right to know if he had other kids!
Summer whistled lowly at the tense scene, admiring her shit stirring handy work. “Yep. Total fuckboy.”
The smirk was wiped from her face when Rick slammed his fist on the table, startling everyone as he stood up. Before I could react, I was scooped up and pulled to his side as he shot a burning glare towards his family.
“I LOVE Imani,” Rick fired back. His voice was trembling with rage. “She is not a fling. She isn’t someone I drunkenly stumbled into bed with. She’s much more than that. She’s the first woman I’ve truly loved since Diane, and I fucking mean that!” He scanned their faces, daring anyone to interject. The Smiths all bit their tongues, holding a collective breath while their patriarch scolded them.
Then Rick turned to me, his gaze softening as he took in the vulnerable expression on my face. “Look, baby… I wasn’t trying to keep secrets from you. None of those other flings mean anything to me, so they weren’t worth bringing up. I don’t think about them. I think about you and our child. Do you see where I’m coming from?”
I swallowed hard and nodded. I did understand his perspective. Frankly, I preferred not hearing about his exploits, and thought it was fair that he didn’t care enough about his exes to bring them up.
At my acknowledgement, he pulled me in for a long, forceful kiss. It was an obvious statement, a show of claiming. Usually, I would be hesitant to show such a passionate display in front of his family, whom I just met, but he didn’t give me the option. A soft moan even escaped me as he grabbed my ass.
Then, the afternoon continued right along. The Smith-Sanchez clan had an uncanny knack for simply accepting things and moving on. I’m sure this was a necessity having Rick in their lives. Morty ended up digging through a box in the garage and finding some water guns he and his sister used to play with. After rinsing them out and filling them up with fresh water, they set out to destroy each other. It didn’t surprise me, after her earlier display, that the red head had fire in her. She hunted her little brother down like the very fate of America depended on it, firing jets of water as if it were deadly lasers.
Jerry turned his attention to the grill, pulling the lightly charred meats off the fire. Beth came to his side and started fixing plates. Despite its novelty, I had to admit the processed meats smothered in BBQ sauce smelled quite amazing. Smokey and primitive, with a tangy sweetness to offset the umami saltiness. America, I like your style. Everyone gathered around the patio table to dig into the food.
“This is, like, actually pretty good dad!” Summer praised.
Beth nodded in agreement, taking a bite out of a burger. “Yeah, you finally figured out the right amount of time to cook everything, Jer.”
The middle-aged man puffed his chest out pridefully. “Aw, well, you know… the connection between a man and his grill is a sacred thing.”
His family seemed to chuckle at that, not taking him too seriously. A part of me couldn’t help but wonder if there was some sort of sacredness to grilling. If it were some sort of terrestrial male initiation ritual. I decided I would ask Rick about it later.
The hot summer sun really did provide the perfect backdrop to such a lovely moment. Its heat mimicked the cozy warmth starting to settle into my stomach as I laughed along with Rick and his family. The day was not done with its surprises, however. Suddenly, the still air became active. The trees surrounding the Smith property started to sway rapidly and the leaves rustled as a spacecraft lowered itself over the house. It then landed in the driveway, next to Rick’s car.
“Mom!”
“OMG Space mom, awesome!”
Morty and Summer abandoned their plates and ran towards the backyard gates just in time for a familiar face to round the corner. The woman had half of her shoulder length blonde locks shaved off with a blue streak through the side that remained. Even with the scar across her right eye, it was unmistakably Beth. I watched the woman give the two kids quick side hugs and head pats before training her gaze on Beth, the normal looking Beth right across from me.
“…twins?” I whispered to Rick, looking for some sort of explanation. This was yet again information I was not privy of. Rick had only mentioned one daughter, and unlike a random hook up that resulted in an estranged half horse, another human daughter seemed hard to leave out of the whole tragic backstory thing.
Rick burped loudly as he polished off his beer. “I’m almost insulted you’d assume something so mundane.”
He then rose to pat this space rebel punk Beth on the back, a gesture she half-heartedly returned. She didn’t seem to share the same warmth as the other Beth.
“Beth, –urrp– this is my girlfriend, Imani,” Rick said, gesturing to me. “Babe, this is also Beth. They aren’t twins; one’s a clone.”
“Oh, um…” I stood up to be at eye level with her—sort of, I was still much shorter, but sitting down made me feel small. This alternative Beth had a piercing, uneasy gaze that caused my anxiety to return. She was every bit as intense as I had feared Rick’s daughter might be. She looked me over with an unimpressed expression as I smoothed down my fluttery sundress. “There sure is a lot of information to take in today…” I murmured.
“He’s not exactly Mister Forthright, no,” Space Beth said flatly. “We still don’t even know which one of us is the clone.”
“Really?” I gasped softly, looking at Rick. “How did you lose track of whose—”
“Nope, not doing this again,” he cut in quickly. “Beth couldn’t decide if she wanted to be a space fairing badass like moi …” he gestured at himself. “Or stay home and be married to an idiot,” he then pointed at Jerry.
“Hmph,” Jerry crossed his arms. “Jokes on you because I’ve got two badass wives.”
“And we’ve got two badass moms,” Morty added with a smile. “So, we all just decided, who cares which is which, you know? They’re both our mom.”
That made me smile, too. It was a sweet sentiment; both women being viewed as equally valid in their identities. The Smiths were an odd bunch of coconuts, but I couldn’t help but find it all endearing.
Space Beth grabbed a beer and took a seat next to regular Beth, sizing me up as I took my seat next to Rick. “How’d he trick you into sleeping with him?”
I chuckled, feeling relieved that this wasn’t a ‘what makes you think you’re good enough for my dad’ kind of talk. In fact, I had been a bit apprehensive about bringing up how Rick and I met since it felt so… at odds with the quaint suburban vibe going on. I knew I, with my pregnant belly and yellow sundress, didn’t exactly look like someone who had once being trying to hunt her now-boyfriend down like a dog. But this version of Beth, bearing the same cold cynicism as her father, seemed like she could understand.
“It’s a funny story…” I began, already laughing to myself as I remembered the contentious way we met. High speed chase. Alien drug lords. A fight that became rough sex. “He was a total pain in my ass. It’s like no matter where I’d go, there he would be…”
“Sounds like dad alright,” regular Beth nodded as she sipped her lemonade. Her rebellious counterpart nodded too, waiting for me to continue with a neutral expression on her face. Rick, however, looked a bit tense as I started my story, but I just figured he was a bit bashful about our origins.
“I’m pretty sure we first crossed each other’s paths when I was responding to a robbery in the Qwakan system. I wasn’t even looking for him, but there he was—in my way.”
Beth leaned in, already fully enthralled in the story. Space Beth just continued to observe, though there was a slight flicker in her eyes. I was already starting to understand that she was the cool, aloof one, so I just shrugged it off.
“Honey, maybe you shouldn’t…” Rick said, his hand hovering in front of me cautiously.
I didn’t take his warning and kept going. “I had heard about the notorious Rick Sanchez in the academy and around the station, of course. He’s basically famous in the worst way. But seeing him was something else. I didn’t expect this infamous space terrorist to be an alcoholic grandpa. I mean, update your wanted posters, am I right?”
Space Beth finally leaned forward, her eyes narrowing. “Right… and who exactly do you work for?”
Suddenly it occurred to me that this Beth wasn’t exactly dressed like a law-abiding citizen. I was so focused on endearing myself to his family, that even I forgot that I literally met him because he’s a wanted criminal. And judging by the murderous look in her eyes, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
In spite of myself, I felt like I was in too deep to lie. “…I was a police officer with the Galactic Federation. But I don’t work—”
She was on her feet with a gun pointed at me before I could explain myself. The rest of the family watched in stunned confusion as the patio set fell over, knocking all our drinks and plates of food into the grass and dirt. Rick, just as quickly used one of his augmented arms to grab and restrain her gun hand.
“Sweetie, how about you don’t kill my pregnant girlfriend?” Rick warned.
Space Beth grunted as she tried to pull away from her father’s robotic grip, before slamming her forehead and phase shifting out of his grasp. The gun fell when her body temporarily became immaterial, so she dove after it. Rick lunged over the toppled table to pin her down.
“Are you an idiot??” she growled. “You have that narc in our house?”
“Galactic Federation?” Summer questioned, peaking over her phone screen as she recorded the whole thing. “Isn’t that the organization with all the bug people that Tammy worked for?”
“That’s the one,” Rick grunted, trying his best to disarm his feisty daughter who had her own gadgets and gizmos installed directly into her body.
“Wait, so like, after your best friend literally got killed by his fiancé that worked for the Galactic Federation, you decided to get yourself your own murderous spy girlfriend?”
Rick finally managed to fight Beth back, having to resort to electrocuting her to disable her augmentations. She hissed as she hit the ground, temporarily paralyzed. I watched in horror, too frozen to do or say anything. Having Rick fight his own daughter over me was my absolute worst-case scenario come true.
Regular-Beth ran to her duplicate’s side and sat her up, allowing the outlaw woman to stare daggers at me. Rick came to my side, pulling me in protectively as he caught his breath.
“Unlike BP, I’m literally the most intelligent man in the multiverse,” he huffed. “There’s nothing about her that I don’t know. Birdperson rushed into marriage with a teenager he knew nothing about. Meanwhile, I’ve been well aware that Officer Axton here was a space narc for years now.”
Beth and Jerry helped her doppelgänger back into her seat, the latter Beth still staring me down as if she were going to pounce as soon as she could move on her own again. “Still,” domestic Beth started cautiously. “It does seem… like a huge risk.”
“I am NOT moving to another tiny planet,” Jerry said defiantly. “So, your girlfriend better not be another spy.”
“I was a police officer, not a soldier or a spy,” I finally speak up for myself, pressing against Rick’s chest. “And I was fired months ago. All I did was arrest people for petty crimes and the occasional drug busts. I wasn’t very high ranked. Humans rarely are.”
“And she was a pretty terrible cop,” Rick added. “No offense, baby.”
I sighed and shrugged. “Well, they don’t fire people that are good at their jobs.”
“Fuck ‘em. You don’t need those bug fascists anyway. You’re way too cool to take orders from sentient crickets.”
Morty and his dad went to work putting the patio set back up. The teenage boy immediately offered me a chair. “Trust me. She’s had more than enough opportunities to take Rick out. A-a-and it’s like Rick said, she didn’t do a very good job at it.”
“We don’t have to harp on the fact that I sucked at my job—”
“But you could have succeeded if you had truly wanted to, you know?” The teenage boy dusted off the seat for me and offered me his hand, helping me ease my pregnant physique onto the chair. “You came here months ago to kill Rick, but you didn’t. You could’ve arrested him during our spa day, but you didn’t. Even your toxic selves didn’t do anything but have fun together.” He turned and looked at his family, especially his space-mom. “If she wanted to kill Rick or have him arrested, she would have. She hasn’t because they love each other.”
While Morty’s words hung in the air, Summer went to fetch her space-mom a cold lemonade. The rebel woman’s fingers twitched and finally moved to grip the glass. Slowly but surely, her arm co-operated in allowing her to lift it to her lips. Her body was coming back online. As everyone silently took their seats, eyes shifting between us two ladies, the air once again grew thick with tension. Space Beth gulped down the sugary drink before looking me over once more. All I could do was stare back, trying to muster some of my old police officer intimidation and hold my ground.
Then she burst out laughing. “Damn, you’re really in love with this drunk idiot?”
With that, things were finally in order. His whole family had met me, and no one seemed to object to Rick having a child with me. Now, the only issue was the food scattered about the dirt. Morty helped his dad clean up the mess, while Jerry lamented the loss of his creation.
“Aw, and I had cooked it all just right!” he whined.
“Can’t you cook some more?” Beth questioned.
“That was all the meat we had!”
Even an alien like me knew a party with no food was no party at all. My stomach growled, the baby clearly not satisfied with one hot dog and a few bites of grilled corn.
Rick stood up and tossed his beer can into the trash. “Alright, let’s – urrp– let’s go!” He unceremoniously grabbed Jerry and started to haul him off towards the driveway.
“H-Hey! Where are we going?” the younger man protested.
“Obvious – urrp– ly, we’re going to get more food for the grill. And since I’m driving, we’re heading to my preferred butcher in the Grimflux Galaxy.”
“What?? No! No weird potions and goblins! This is the 4th of July and we’re going to have a good old fashioned, all-American BBQ!”
“You don’t get it, Jerry. This place— th-the earthlike planet in one of the star systems— every cut of meat is wagyu. All of it. Premium, fatty, juicy cuts. The best part? Those idiots sell them as scraps. They view the best part of the meat as garbage, Jerry! W-w-we can get it all for pennies. A couple Abraham Lincolns, that’s it. Feed the whole family, – urrp– Jerry.”
Their voices faded as Rick dragged Jerry around to the front of the house and no doubt shoved him into the space cruiser. Rick was drunk and hungry, a dangerous combination that Jerry had no chance of defending himself against. We all watched as the space cruiser rose above the house and disappeared into a green portal.
The teens jumped back into their intense game of water warfare, splashing us adults a bit here and there as collateral damage. Us ladies continued to chat as we waited for the men to return. Thankfully, there were still potato chips and drinks to snack on idly as we conversed. Space Beth and I traded stories about intergalactic adventures, while Beth and I swapped anecdotes about the men we loved.
“Hey there, neighbor. Looking forward to the fireworks tonight?”
A middle-aged man that looked like he had just come back from fishing leaned against the fence that divided the Smith backyard from his own. Beth raised an eyebrow, seemingly not expecting her neighbor to randomly strike up a conversation. Still, she walked over to the fence and engaged him.
“Uh, hi, Gene. Yeah. Can’t have Independence Day without ‘em,” she replied casually.
“Where’s your father?”
“Ahh,” she hesitated before continuing. “He and Jerry went to get more meat for the grill. Why, did you need something from him?”
The man looked around, as if confirming that Rick really was gone. “How long until he’s back?”
By this point, Space Beth was watching the interaction, sensing her counterpart’s unease. I knew nothing about this man and didn’t suspect that it was much more than a friendly neighbor interaction. Then, another voice piped in.
“Urgent letter for Rick Sanchez!”
Now the mail carrier, having appeared from nowhere, was leaning over the gate, waving letters over her head. Every piece of mail was apparently for Rick.
“Ay yo, Sum-Sum!” called a boy with a skateboard, who had stopped in the middle of the street and rushed the fence to wave at Summer. “Can I holler at your G-pops real quick?”
It all happened so fast. Suddenly, the house was surrounded by people from across the neighborhood. They all crowded the fence, threatening to make it buckle, and they all were fixated on the same thing: Rick.
Beth ran to her duplicate’s side as the latter pulled out her gun. I joined them, too pregnant and defenseless to fight whatever this was. “What the fuck is going on??” Space Beth demanded, her gun sweeping the perimeter and causing the people to flinch.
“Don’t shoot…” one person pleaded. “We just want Rick,” said another.
Morty and Summer ended their game and looked at each other. “Unity,” they both said, ironically, in unison.
Before any of us could question what that meant, a section of the people yelped as they were doused in some sort of spray. I tried to hold in the contents of my own stomach as the group doubled over and vomited.
“What the hell, Rick??” one man yelled before being doused.
“Is that an anti-ME repellant?” an elderly woman continued, as if sharing one train of thought.
We turned our attention to the source of the mysterious spray and saw Rick had returned, with Jerry clutching the groceries in fear. The older man didn’t respond to the mob right away, just continuing to douse his neighbors and clear a path to the backyard. Jerry ran to us with the food in tow as soon as the gate was clear, watching in horror as Rick’s spray made people barf up their guts and look around disoriented.
“Never on my planet!” Rick growled. “I fucking told you that!”
A few people turned to the ones that were sprayed by Rick and vomited in their mouths, causing them to no longer seem lost and snap back into the conversation. I looked away, suddenly thankful I hadn’t gotten to eat my fill before the fight.
“You wouldn’t answer my calls!” A man who had just received a gulp of puke shouted back.
“I have nothing to say to you!” Rick retorted.
My wooziness was stronger than my fear, so I broke away from the pack to sit down. There didn’t seem to be an immediate threat, so Beth tentatively joined me, although her space counterpart still remained on guard. Space Beth inched towards her father’s side, ready to provide back up if necessary. Sensing that Rick mostly had things handled, Jerry fired up the grill while trying to ignore the constant sounds of chunks being blown around us. “Uh… so. Does anyone know why Rick is fighting a swarm of barf zombies?”
The two teenage siblings exchanged another look, but neither seemed to want to share what they knew. Just as they seemed to silently negotiate who should speak up, Beth’s cell phone rang.
“Hey, hey! I said no technology!”
“Jerry, it’s The Walking Dead out here. I think answering the phone is the least of our concerns right now.” She unlocked the screen and narrowed her eyes. “It’s our doorbell. There’s some woman—er, alien, there.”
Rick had been making his way into the backyard, trying to fend off the zombie swarm despite the liberated ones being reincorporated via puke every time he blasted them. He was within earshot of Beth’s comment and groaned loudly.
“Okay, fine!” he shouted at the crowd. “I’ll talk to you, but only so you’ll leave and never come back. Got it?”
In unison, the crowd of neighbors nodded and held their hands up in surrender. Different people responded to him, each carrying on the other’s thoughts as if coming from one mind. “That’s all I wanted… I’ll wait at the door… I won’t bother your family… just talk to me… then I’ll leave and liberate these people…”
As Rick conversed with the hoard, I looked over Beth’s shoulder at her phone screen, where the alien woman was. She wasn’t speaking, but she seemed to almost nod her head in sync with what the crowd was saying, as if controlling them with her mind.
The alien woman on the screen had mint-green skin with three antennae atop her head. Other than that, she looked very humanoid: Long purple hair, two eyes, a nose, lips and even glasses. She was very beautiful, I couldn’t lie. Kind of reminded me of Christina Hendricks somehow. Though she was wearing business attire, the sultry look about her made me doubt this was a professional visit.
“Damn it!” Rick hissed to himself, tossing his weapon to the ground before storming towards the house. “What the hell could they want?”
Call it women’s intuition, but it felt like this being was more than a space pen pal.
Rick disappeared inside before anyone could question him further, myself least of all. I wouldn’t have been able to confront him if I wanted to. My tongue had turned to sand in my mouth and suddenly my throat was too dry to speak. Ever since merging with my toxic self, I had inherited the disturbing memory of Rick writhing around sensually in alien jizz while making out with a variety of creatures in an asteroid BDSM dungeon. But this— this was different. No simple fling would elicit this level of emotion and tension. It was a bitterness that reeked of passion turned sour.
Diane was one thing. She was his wife, for one. The mother of his child. There was a sacredness to that even jealousy wouldn’t dare touch. Or so, I told myself that in order to feel more mature than I was. The reality was that Diane was dead. Dead, and so far back in Rick’s past that he was basically a whole different person when she was alive. If they could reunite today, they might not even like each other. Whoever this person was, she was alive and clearly recent enough to still have an emotional hold over Rick.
“Morty,” Beth said his name with a pointed, askance tone. It was clear that neither grandchild wanted to expose their grandfather’s business, but Beth knew her children well enough to know that she could more easily shake down her son.
Indeed, the boy snapped like a twig under his mother’s narrowed gaze. “It’s Unity,” he said in defeat. “Rick’s ex.”
Morty practically ducked his head away from my direction, clearly not wanting to see the look on my face. Summer seemed to whistle nonchalantly and fall back, taking out her precious phone, now that everyone was distracted and leaving her brother to take the heat.
“Inviting his ex to a family BBQ? Pretty messy, grandpa...”
“Why would he—?” Beth gasped in shock and sympathetic anger. “How could she have known… today of all days?”
“They,” Morty corrected. “Unity isn’t… they aren’t just the person at the door. They’re also all the people swarming our house. It’s a hivemind.”
“A hivemind? My dad seriously dated a hivemind?” Beth scoffed and looked in my direction. “How do you even date a hivemind?” Her expression was incredulous and her tone towards the idea of their relationship was flippant. As if the absurdity of the type of being made this situation less serious, less of a threat towards me.
Perhaps Beth was right to feel that way. How could Rick ever have a genuine relationship with a hivemind? How do you form an intimate connection with the population of a whole civilization? It was absurd; but Rick is an absurd man. More complex than he lets on. So complex, perhaps, that only a multitudinous being could even hope to experience true intimacy with him.
Morty called after me, but my feet were already moving into the house. I didn’t dare try to bust in and interrupt the conversation. I didn’t want to seem like the angry, insecure, possessive maniac girlfriend. That’s not the kind of woman I am. In truth, I had no idea why I was determined to eavesdrop, to peek. My feet had moved on their own. Something in me just had to hear this conversation for myself, to know for sure what was said and not just some cleaned up version Rick tells me later. An even worse, more pathetic part of me wanted to hear her voice and see her face. Wanted to know if they looked good standing together. It made no sense, especially given that this person at the door was merely an avatar of Unity; a random, innocent alien woman held hostage by a mind parasite. Still, my mind was swarming with insecure thoughts.
“No!” the alien woman retorted, trying and failing to keep her voice down. “Not until you tell me what’s really going on!”
“Why do you care?” Rick shouted back, not seeming to care or be aware of his volume. “You’re the one who left me hanging! If I get killed, that’s none of your business!”
My stomach sank. She’s the one who dumped him? As in, he’d still be with her if it was his choice? I knew I shouldn’t think like that, but boy would my self-esteem have been less threatened if this entity was the pathetic crybaby ex that couldn’t move on.
“Of course, it’s my business!” she responded a little louder. “I care about you, you idiot! Just because we’re broken up doesn't mean I want to see you get killed!”
Rick growled in exasperation, stepping back from the door frame. “Unity. Just go. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got this handled.”
The alien avatar put her foot in the door. “There’s more going on here than you’re telling me. Why else would you do something so stupid and reckless? At least tell me the truth!”
“Fine! You wanna know the truth, Une? I’ve moved on. I have a girlfriend and a kid on the way. So, I don’t need your boo-hooing.”
I felt a petty sense of satisfaction from Rick’s loyalty to me, followed by a pang of shame and guilt for being that insecure.
Unity paused, seeming to stare as it took in that information. “Rick,” she finally said. “That’s so great—I mean, that’s amazing.”
The entity’s voice admittedly sounded sincere, but Rick huffed in response. “Yeah. It is. So, I need you to go before you cause even more trouble.”
They seemed to frown at the idea that it had unknowingly impeded on anything, but it shook its head and spoke more urgently. “Then think about her. What happens to her and the baby if you get killed?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Rick was finally able to overpower the entity—or perhaps it simply backed down—and close the door. A panic set in as he turned towards where I was hiding and started to walk back to the backyard. Suddenly, I remembered the blood. That sickly scarlet that threatened to undermine our entire relationship. In that moment, I knew I wasn’t brave enough to face him, to own up to my eavesdropping. The bathroom was my only refuge.
I was hyperventilating. I felt nauseous. I couldn’t tell if I was swaying or if it was all in my head. My body felt hot all over. My stomach was in knots. My breasts were heavy and suddenly felt like they were on pins and needles.
When I looked down, the entire top of my dress was soaked, particularly over my nipples. No, no, no! Why the hell would my body choose now to lactate? The toilet paper rolled violently as I pawed it, desperate to get something to dab up all this gross, sticky stuff coming out of me. It was no use. I dabbed and dabbed, but it just stained my clothes.
The world was crashing down on me. I buried my face in my hands and cried. My body hated me. Rick’s granddaughter hated me. I was just one of Rick’s many flings. It’s like everything was suddenly falling apart, and I couldn’t hold it together. I suddenly missed being a police officer. The strength and power that came with my badge and gun. Now I was just a young girl crying in a stranger’s bathroom while her breasts leaked.
“Mind if I come in?”
I froze, hearing Beth’s voice at the door. It was too late to pretend I wasn’t crying now; I knew I looked a fright with my ruined makeup and milk-drenched top. I croaked out a feeble, “yeah,” giving her permission to enter.
Empathy was etched on her face as she took in my fragile state. “You poor thing,” she said, going to grab a small towel from the cabinet. I watched her as she lathered it with soap and offered it to me.
“I-It just started suddenly. I didn’t know what to do…” I said shakily, rubbing at the yellowish stains on my dress.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” she said, sitting next to me on the edge of the tub “Being a first-time mom isn’t easy, I know.”
It was difficult to tell if the soapy lather had really removed the milk stains or simply made my dress wet. With a sigh, I stopped trying and stared at my lap. “I feel like an idiot…”
“No, honey, no,” she cooed, resting a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got no reason to feel stupid. You’re pregnant and overwhelmed. Our bodies already go through enough when we’re carrying a child but being constantly bombarded with – with my total circus of a family and all my dad’s crazy secrets… that’s not easy for anybody.”
A weak smile tugged at my lips. “It is hard being Rick Sanchez’s girl. I-It’s worth it. I really love him. But sometimes I wonder if I can handle all that entails.”
Beth nodded knowingly. “Trust me. Being his daughter—or the clone of his daughter, who knows—comes with its trials and tribulations. And, to be honest… that’s part of why I was so shocked to see you. Jerry had brought up that he met dad’s girlfriend, but I imagined some elderly alien creature that vaguely resembled a person. Then, I saw you… a young woman. It scared me.”
“Scared you?”
“I was skeptical. Of my father.” She leaned forward and sighed. “He’s a brilliant man, but he’s not always the best person. He – I mean, he abandoned us when I was just a teenager. Twenty years and I didn’t even know if he was still alive. So, I see a bright-eyed young woman expecting to build a future with him, and I feel worried.” She paused and looked me over, her expression almost regretful. “I don’t say this to scare you. These are my own issues talking here. But it’s just that… I once thought I’d have a future that included him, too, you know?”
“I understand,” I said gently. “I’ve gone through all the same thoughts and worst-case scenarios in my head. For a while, I was terrified that he’d get bored with me and leave. Part of me still worries. But he’s changed. I really believe that. He’s talked about you a lot. And your mother... And when he talks about you, I see the love and the regret. I see a man that wanted to be your father and to be a husband to Diane.”
Beth tensed a little at the sound of her mother’s name. I couldn’t blame her. The name felt foreign and almost taboo on my lips, especially in the presence of her daughter. But I couldn't ignore the elephant in the room. “Remember… he’s the Rick that lost you and your mother. Not the one that abandoned you.”
“Yeah, I know,” she responded with a dry chuckle. “All five of us had to, uh, bury our dead selves in the backyard and adjust to living in a new dimension. And I get that I was killed when I was little in his original universe, and Morty and Jerry aren’t my original son and husband… I could go on.”
“Life gets a little crazy with Rick around, huh?” I smiled a little. “One day you’re a young police officer with a promising career and a 401k, and next thing you know, you have an elderly baby daddy and lactating nipples.”
“Still don’t know how he did it.” She shook her head and laughed again. Then, she seemed more somber, almost hanging her head in shame. “Still… it’s just… it’s a little hard to see him happy and moving on… without my mom…”
“Hey, look at me…” I said gently, my hand on her shoulder. “I get it. She was your mother. This is your family. And I’m not here to impede on that.”
“No, no… I know you’re not, sweetie. Everyone deserves to be happy and find love. And you seem to make dad very, very happy. I want that for him. It’s just – ugh! It’s like my stupid inner abandoned little girl can’t help but feel like her daddy is being taken away. As gross and pathetic as that sounds.”
“It’s not pathetic at all.” I took Beth’s hand, feeling almost a pang of sisterly connection. “My dad neglected me, too. Lived right up the street, yet he acted like I was too burdensome to deal with. Father issues mess you up, you know? They really do trap you into feeling like that same little girl who couldn’t get her daddy’s love and attention all those years ago. But that’s not our fault. It’s our fathers’.”
She sniffled, fighting tooth and nail not to let tears fall, and cupped my hand in return. “You’re a sweet, smart girl. Probably too good for my dad.”
The door opened unexpectedly. “We talking about how shitty dad is?” Space Beth waltzed into the bathroom, without waiting for permission. Despite her bluntness, it was clear she was just trying to check in. “Speaking of which, the old corpse is getting antsy. Afraid you’re in here contemplating dumping him.”
The two of us rose to our feet with bashful chuckles. “Just felt overwhelmed,” I said. “I’m better now.”
As we exited the bathroom, Space Beth threw an arm around her duplicate. I didn’t quite hear what was said because I was lost in thought, but the two Beths giggled intimately, and I think the space rebel pinched her domestic twin’s ass. They kept walking past me as I lingered by the table in the hallway. It was set up with tasteful knick-knacks and family photos. A photo of Beth and Jerry’s wedding. Photos of baby Morty and baby Summer. A photo of a young Rick, a little Beth, and… her. I couldn’t help but lift the photo to get a better look. I was right to assume Beth favored Diane, sharing her blonde locks and blue eyes. Diane looked to be my age in the photo, the light dusting of freckles making her appear a little younger, even. It’s a shame to think that this was as old as she would ever live to be, in any conceivable universe.
It was obvious, as I followed the Beths into the backyard, that everyone else was waiting with bated breath to see how I was going to react to the whole Unity situation. Jerry was back at the grill and Morty used the water hose to clear away the vomit on the pavement, but everyone paused when they heard the back door open and close. Rick was sitting at the table, his leg bobbing up and down violently with anxiety. As soon as he saw me, he was on his feet.
“How much of that did you hear?”
I looked up at him bashfully. “Just the end part.”
He wrapped his arm around my waist and casually ushered me back to the patio. “Good. That’s –eugh– all that mattered.”
Jerry started taking the new food off the grill, but this time it was packed up in a cute little basket and loaded into the car. The sun had crept down the horizon and the bright azure sky was now an orange haze. Night would be upon us soon, and I would finally get to see these colorful sky missiles.
“They’re called fireworks, you know,” Morty teased me playfully as we all packed into the station wagon.
“Yeah, but they shoot up into the sky and explode, right?” I retorted with a laugh.
Rick was quiet while the car took off, making its way to the lake. He looked tired, like a lot was going through his mind. I took his hand and squeezed it, flashing him a big smile. Despite all the craziness of the day—meeting his family, almost being killed by his daughter, his hivemind ex showing up—I was still beyond excited to be experiencing this fun, simple family moment with him and his tribe. He smiled back and wrapped his arm around me.
There was already a massive crowd at Lake Union, but we managed to carve out a little spot for ourselves to set up the picnic blanket and unpack our goodies. There was a big, inflatable Statue of Liberty head and a clear view of the Seattle skyline. Little kids ran around with sparklers and adults knocked back beers and wine coolers. Jerry handed out little plastic hats with red and white stripes and a blue band of white stars before proudly setting one atop his own head. I could tell Rick was going to roll his eyes and discard the trinket, but his eyes lit up with amusement as I eagerly secured the tiny hat to my head.
“How do I look?” I asked, pretty confident I looked silly.
Rick shook his head and then strapped on his own little America hat. “Like Betsy Ross if she were hot.”
“I don’t know who that is,” I said, resting my head on his chest. “But I like the sound of that.”
The sun continued on its way below the horizon while we all chatted and chowed down on our BBQ. Then, a booming voice came over the waters from a loudspeaker in a boat. It announced the beginning of the show, and the crowd erupted in cheers. Rick squeezed my shoulder and gave me a soft smile. I couldn’t help but feel as giddy as a child on Christmas morning, my eyes scanning the dark sky for where to look, not wanting to miss it when it started. But it was impossible to miss. I flinched a little at the unexpected, high-pitched whistle that announced the bomb’s ascent into the sky. When it exploded, it sent a puff of sparkling light in every direction, contrasting starkly with the pitch-black sky.
I was stunned to awed silence as I watched the black back drop be filled with rainbow hued balls of glitter, bursts of light, and sprays of fire. It was a colorful symphony of fire and light like nothing I had ever seen on my own planet. I only knew bombs were capable of mass destruction, but these bombs were like magic.
I noticed after a while that Rick wasn’t watching the firework show. He was staring at me. I looked up at him with a blush on my cheeks, knowing how childish and innocent I must have looked, seeing something so spectacular for the first time. Catching him staring only made his smile grow wider, and he kissed me under the dazzling lights.
“Happy Independence Day, baby,” he said against my lips.
***
After a long day, it was nice to finally get out of my clothes and take a warm shower. Rick’s bedroom was admittedly not the coziest room in the house, but he did upgrade his worn-out cot for an actual bed just for me. He didn’t like my comment about his room looking like it was straight out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The wall full of pictures and articles with strings pinned between the images still made me feel like I was in a conspiracy theorist’s dungeon, but the bed he got for us to share was at least comfy.
Rick was already lying on the mattress, stripped down to his boxers, as he eagerly awaited my return from the shower. He crawled to my side when I sat on the edge of the bed, kissing my shoulder. “All refreshed and ready for bed, sweetheart?” he murmured, though I didn’t really believe he wanted to go to sleep this early on a Saturday.
“Being pregnant is so annoying…” I grumbled in response.
Rick bit his lip as he watched me rubbing my swollen chest. Despite knowing I was clearly uncomfortable; he couldn’t help but react to the sight of my painfully erect nipples poking through the thin fabric of my nightie. “You need any help, darling?”
“No… I don’t think there’s anything you can do…” I whined. “My nipples hurt. I think I might be getting ready to lactate.”
He groaned at that, unable to stop his arousal at my predicament. “Stay here, baby. I’ll get something for ya…” He kissed my cheek and got up from the bed, disappearing into the hallway. A few minutes later, he returned with a cup of ice.
“What’s that for?” I questioned as he sat back down on the bed.
“Trust me.”
He pulled me onto his lap and eased the thin straps of my nightie down my shoulders, exposing my breasts. The twins were engorged, looking not just big but more rounded and firmer than they did before my pregnancy. Rick took an ice cube and licked it, getting it wet and slick before gently circling my nipple with it.
I jolted at the sudden sensation of freezing cold but immediately felt some relief. The ice was helping to soothe the inflammation and dull the ache. Rick took another piece of ice and started rubbing both of my nipples, providing double the relief.
A moan escaped my lips, and I rocked my hips a little. The ice was doing more than easing the soreness, it was sending currents of pleasure straight between my thighs. Rick chuckled, his cock already getting hard at the sight of me so vulnerable and needy. “You like that, huh?” he whispered huskily. “You like it when daddy takes care of his girl?”
He loved having me at his mercy. My pregnancy gave him ample opportunity to dote on me, care for me, and best of all, touch me. My breasts were already one of his favorite toys, but being pregnant only made them fuller, and my nipples darker and puffier. He licked his lips, watching the chocolatey brown buds glisten from the slick coating them, begging to be sucked on. His fingers migrated down my body, and settled between my legs, rubbing my clit through the fabric of my panties.
“R-Rick… wait…” I protested.
His hand lingered between my thighs, but he paused to hear me out. “Yes, baby?”
“These walls aren’t soundproof, you know… and it’s only 10PM. Your family will hear.”
A scoff left his lips as his fingers continued their ministration over my damping panties. “They know that sex happens, sweetie. They’re not that stupid.”
“Rick, you know what I mean… I just met them! I don’t want them to know how I sound when I moan…”
While I tried to resist Rick’s seduction and foreplay, the door to the neighboring room slammed shut. It was soon filled with voices, proving my point about the walls being too thin. However, it was Rick who was vindicated, because while I worried about being heard fucking, all we could hear was heavy breathing and moaning. Both voices were the same— Beth. I took that to mean that it must have been both versions of her getting hot and heavy together.
Rick was torn between flashing me a smug look and grimacing at the sound of his own daughters’ ecstasy. The bed groaned loud enough to hear through the wall, followed by a remark of, “Damn, I have a great ass…”
“Think you can handle a dick this big? Or should we start with a smaller one?”
“Please, I know I’m still with Jerry, but I’ve bought my fair share of big cocks to handle myself while he’s gone.”
We listened as the mattress squeaked, a hand slapping against the wall for stability as the blonde woman cried out, presumably being dicked down by herself from behind.
Rick tightened his grip on me. “There, are you still worried about modesty? Can we please have some Independence Day sex instead of listening to my daughter reenact Blue is the Warmest Color with herself?”
I tried to shake off the conflicting feeling of listening to Beth scream and moan, my mind trying against my will to fill in the blanks of how she must look right now. Her blonde hair a mess as she buried her head against the mattress, ass up as her twin plunges a pink silicon cock into her equally pink pussy. Knowing how much Space Beth takes after her father, I can only imagine the borderline sadistic look in her eyes as she aggressively pounds into her more submissive duplicate, showing her domestic counterpart no mercy as she turns her out.
“Fuck, you’re getting wet listening to her, aren’t you?” Rick noted, his eyebrows shooting up. I forgot that his hand was still between my thighs, letting him feel it when my pussy throbbed at the thought of his daughters going wild in the room next to us. I immediately felt guilty, but his tone was less admonishing and more just full of genuine surprise.
“Yeah…” I admitted. There was no use lying. I could feel the slickness on my cunt and so could Rick, his fingers idly playing with it.
“You’re a nasty girl, you know that?” he growled, his lips moving against my neck. “You act like an innocent little pregnant lady, but you’re a downright pervert.”
I let out a soft whimper as he moved me to the bed, pinning me beneath him. He reached into the cup of ice and pulled out a fresh cube, teasing my pert nipples with the cold, wet sensation. “Does that feel better, baby?” he asked, his voice a mix between a sweet coo and a teasing lilt. I could already tell by his demeanor that he was in competitive mode. He wanted to turn me on more than Beth’s wanton noises.
Each ministration sent a jolt of pleasure straight to my aching core. I had never considered that the freezing cold could feel so good, but it was like a cheat code that made every nerve in my body hypersensitive. “It feels better, daddy…”
“Good girl…” he murmured. “I bet it’d feel nice in other areas, too. Care to find out?”
All questions were hypothetical when Rick was in charge. Without waiting for me to respond, he trailed the ice down my stomach, peppering the wet path along my swollen womb with reverent kisses as he went. “You’re so damn beautiful,” he whispered.
After shimmying off my panties, he then gently hiked my leg up on his shoulder and slowly, slowly ran the ice along my puffy outer lips. Rick wouldn’t rough house with me as long as I was pregnant, so he made up the difference with agonizing teasing. I lifted my hips in a desperate, vain attempt to get him to touch my slit. He chuckled and instead moved further from my needy core, dragging the ice along my inner thigh.
“Ah, ah, ah… daddy decides when to give you the relief you crave, remember?”
All I could do was whimper pathetically. The sounds of the two Beths still rang through the thin walls, making me jealous of how rough and intense they got to be. Home Beth was getting to enjoy that ruthless Sanchez sex drive in the form of her space counterpart and the many kinks she’s undoubtedly picked up during her intergalactic travels. Rick could see the jealousy and desperation in my eyes, but this was a part of the game. Sexual dominance wasn’t just about pounding away at your partner until they couldn’t move; it could also be slow, delicious torture.
Just when I thought he was content to massage my inner thighs while forcing me to listen to the much rougher, more intense sex happening next door, he traced my slit with the ice. I bucked instinctively, my body not ready for the sudden novel sensation. The cold ice was a shock to my system, instantly clashing with the heat of my core and making my pussy throb like crazy. As the ice immediately melted against my hot cunt, little trickles of water ran down my lips.
Rick dove in, lapping at my cunt and slurping up the juices, paying extra attention to my pert clit. His face was drenched when he came up for air. While he caught his breath, he grabbed another trusty ice cube and circled the sensitive bundle of nerves until I was shaking and whining. Then, he repeated his actions, suckling on the now even more sensitive bud until my toes curled.
“Rick… I-I’m gonna come…”
“Oh, tut, tut…” he taunted. “Can’t have you tapping out so soon.”
He leaned in and captured my lips, forcing me to taste myself. I relished the opportunity to get a break from the overstimulation. If I weren’t pregnant, he probably would’ve kept going until I begged him for relief. My cunt tasted sweet on his lips and mixed with the flavor of beer on his tongue. He attacked my mouth just as relentlessly as he had attacked my cunt, plunging his tongue deep into my mouth and pulling back just to nip and suck on my bottom lip.
Making out always gets him revved up, threatening to make him loose control. He pulled back with a growl and went straight for his boxers, shoving them down his hips and kicking them off the bed.
I rolled over just to take a nice look at him. Hard as a boulder with thick, angry veins weaving around his circumcised manhood like a vine. I kept my eyes trained on his as I laced my fingers through his thick, blue pubic hair, running my fingers along his pleasure trail and stopping just at the base of his cock. He loved it when I made eye contact with him; he hated it when I teased him back.
With his patience waning, he scooped me up and maneuvered me onto my side. He slipped behind me, pulling my back flush against his sweat drenched chest. I shivered as he nuzzled my neck from behind, filling my ears with the sound of his ragged breathing. He ran his hand up and down my body, slowly, letting himself feel the weight of my milk-swollen breasts in his hands and reverently trace the stretch marks on my pregnant belly.
“You have no idea… how lucky I feel…” he breathed. “Watching your body transform just to carry my child… our little monster… I hope you know the sacrifice isn’t lost on me. I love your body at every stage of this thing.”
Rick made sure I never doubted that he still found me attractive, even as my body changed drastically. He rubbed cocoa butter into my stretch marks, massaged my aching breasts, and rubbed my swollen feet. He might not have believed in God, but he treated me like his goddess.
While he had demonstrated a great amount of control and patience, just taking the time to feel me and hold me, his dick twitched impatiently against my ass. Finally, he hoisted my leg and began pressing his cock into me from behind. His movements were gradual and controlled, in no rush to ram into me. My stomach filled with butterflies as he buried his face in my hair and neck, his breath a gentle breeze against my flushed skin. Once he was fully sheathed inside me, he rocked his hips gently— making me feel every inch of his veiny rod as he pulled back out, and invaded my deepest parts as he pushed back in.
It was lazy yet passionate. He held fast; his arm around my waist and his hand cupping my heavy breast as he eased in and out. On the other side of the wall, the Beths finished their escapade with a thunderous finale and then dropped against the mattress to catch their breaths. Rick and I continued on long after they had worn out. Despite my initial neediness, I relaxed as he established a steady rhythm. It was nice to just feel him inside me, filling and stretching me. The warmth of his manhood filled my body and made me feel safe and held. His veins pulsated as his heartrate picked up, making me feel like his heart was beating inside me, beating in tandem with my own.
Eventually his movements picked up, his body seeking release. His hand slid from my chest to my thigh, lifting my leg just enough so he could push as deeply as possible against my womb. We finished, not with a grand fireworks show, but with satisfied sighs of pleasure. He rubbed my swollen clit as he filled me with his essence, making sure he had fully pleased me despite the mellow pace of our lovemaking.
We were conveniently already in the spooning position, so Rick just went right back to holding me against his chest as we came down from our shared high. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” he murmured against my ear, peppering my neck and shoulder with kisses. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I responded with a happy sigh, then yawned, “Happy… America Day.”