Work Text:
Day 0
6 hours | isolation therapy
Subject shows no signs of improvement.
Obi-Wan pursed his lips when the cue was given to him by the medical droid standing in the corner of the room. Patiently, he waited for Anakin to stop touching his face. When several moments passed, Obi-Wan's patience tapered. Like a child; Anakin was like a child now. How could this have happened under his own watch? Failed him, that's what he had done. Anakin's current state was simply a direct consequence of his own negligence.
The master could hardly keep his tongue between his front teeth, biting back a flurry of questions that would do nothing except confuse his padawan evermore. Whenever the medical droid prompted him the second time to speak, Obi-Wan held his self-conviction at bay for the sake of Anakin and proceeded with protocol, "Do you recall what a Jedi is, Anakin?"
The young man tore himself away from his scrutiny of how fluffy Obi-wan’s beard was. Earlier, he had found himself marveling at the amount of facial hair stemming from the warm skin as soon as his blue eyes landed on the overgrown scruff, long fingers carded through the hair at once, and without permission; however, Obi-wan had allowed it, reasoning that the situation at hand called for boundless patience, and as long as Anakin was responsive, then he could bear with whatever came his way.
Obi-wan watched as the smile faded, most likely as a result of hearing the word 'Jedi.' Anakin felt arousing vexation begin to swirl and bombard him head-on with scalding licks of fury reaching a near maddening level. Preceding thoughts and questions he wanted to bring up were now tossed to the wind. Much like how he himself was tossed into the medical bay hours earlier. He’d been cooperative. He was obedient, patient, and docile. But this... this was something even the droids had yet to ask. Anakin furrowed his eyebrows at the man who he so far only knew as his Master and stepped ever closer to standing a mere few centimeters short of touching noses with Obi-wan. Control slipped from him much faster than he preferred.
"Jedi...” The hand he had cupping Obi-wan's face curled in a fist of what appeared to be impressively well-sustained anger. Jedi. “I don't—I don't know what that is." Suddenly afraid he may lash out, he rested it warily on Obi Wan’s shoulder, and a mild sense of defeat hovered in the air afterward. "I don't recognize it, but I hate the name for some reason. I hate it. It... sickens me. It enrages me. I don’t know if it’s a place or the name of a person. I don't even know if it's the name of something."
Anakin dismissed the pained look on Obi-wan's face. He could hardly decipher the emotion behind it anyway. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop the budding horror within the older man as Anakin recommenced his brutal description, somewhat regretting the fact he told Anakin to be as detailed as possible with his thoughts when asked a question.
"And you... You’re stained with it. It's like you've been smeared and sullied with the word. With it. It's contaminated you in a way, I-I can see it. It’s like a blemish. It’s disgusting. But you've been kind to me, you always have been." The brunet seemed certain of his choice of words, as though he'd rehearsed his thoughts and feelings before burying them deep inside. Soon enough, it began to feel more like the start of a never-ending babble of something he'd longed to tell. “Even though I feel like that... I know. I know you're not like — you're not like that word. That word is wrong."
“Wrong! ” Obi-Wan abruptly snapped, powerless to maintain his balance any longer. “Do you have any idea what you’re saying, padawan? What has gotten into you? Tell me, I will listen to anything but this." His hands came to rest on the young Jedi’s shoulders. Guilt contorted his expression when he realized Anakin’s eyes held faint traces of alarm. Still, he pushed the matter. “How can you remember nothing? You were fine last night!”
The initial flinch was something to be expected when Obi-wan had raised his voice. So far, he had never heard it before until now. Hurt, his hand began to retract entirely when his shoulders were gripped, uncertain of how easily he would be able to control himself if this rage continued to slow boil within him.
“Why have you had so much hatred in you, boy?” Exasperation was evident in Obi Wan's voice. He settled a hand on Anakin’s chest, “It’s been showing, the anger inside you. The council worries, I worry. You are changing, Anakin, and it's happening right before my very eyes!”
His gaze lowered, and Anakin glared with venomous malice clear to see through his troubled blue eyes. Now, he was quick to run his mouth.
"You're foolish! It's like you don't listen to what I say at all! How can you ask me what the ways of the Jedi are when I hardly know who I am myself? That's just absurd! I've said it before and will say it again: I have no idea what the kriffing hell is going on around me right now, but the most certain, if not absolute certainty, I've discovered since waking up is that I despise Jedi. The younger man spat back at Obi-wan, uncaring of how the man would counter further about the issue. Anakin had pushed him lightly, but Obi-Wan stumbled back, wide-eyed.
"Ask yourself logically, Obi-Wan Kenobi. When—no, if, if you're ever lost like this, and as lost as I am right now, and the one thing you're damn sure about keeps ringing in your head, it would make sense to keep someone you care about away from the dangers of it. The only damn person you can even remember!"
There was a sway in Anakin's voice, faltering only for a second as he came to address where the pain stemmed from the most. "And I am not!" His cries broke his master’s heart. "I am not... I am not just a being of hate... It's not what makes me who I am. It's not the only thing I can feel, you know. I can feel... happiness."
Recollections of him as a child flitted behind his eyes that were clenched shut. There was a woman too... His mother. Shmi. A great sense of longing swelled him to the brim when he saw the smile of an angel right after his mother. A beautiful young woman. Yes... both of them were angels. Though he couldn't exactly recollect everything about them at the moment, Anakin knew there was more to him than what Obi-wan made him out to be.
"I can feel happiness. I can feel pain, confusion, anger. This is what makes me... human. But you don't want me to feel something like that because it’s not the Jedi… way... " Anakin's expression broke, taking a complete turn for the worse, and he slapped a hand over Obi-Wan’s, nothing short of hysterical and bewildered. "Wait, why would you deny me that? Why would you put me through something as dehumanizing as this? I thought you cared about me!"
There had to be something more to it; Anakin was confident in that matter. Obi-Wan was clearly not the villain here. If anything, he was a victim just like himself. Everything in his being screamed to protect him. It didn't matter if Anakin remembered next to nothing in the end.
Obi-wan was everything to him, this much, he knew for certain.