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House and Wilson had known for years that there was a betting pool about them, which the Radiology department ran. They only learned the details by chance.
 
Wilson had finished his clinic duty early and was leaning against the nurses' station while filling out some paperwork for his shift. He was standing at the back, head down, leaning his elbow on the desk top as he wrote laboriously, when he heard Nurse Brenda talking.

 
An enormous plant blocked his view, but he could hear Cuddy's latest assistant asking Brenda about a problem with room bookings. Cuddy's assistant, Lily, was a pleasant but completely ineffectual woman. Wilson idly thought that House would drive her to quitting within six months.
 
'Thanks,' Lily said, with gratitude.
 
'No problem. Do it right next time,' Nurse Brenda said. Her voice was stern.
 
'Oh, I will,' Lily said in earnest.  'I was just a bit distracted this morning. That handsome Dr Wilson came in to see Dr Cuddy, just as I was in the middle of filling in the spreadsheet. He's very nice, isn't he?'
 
Wilson flinched and sank a little farther down behind the pot plant.

 
Brenda snorted. 'Don't waste your time chasing Dr Wilson.'
 
'Oh dear, why do you say that?'
 
'Because there's gotta be something seriously wrong with any man who's been divorced three times and chooses to hang out with Dr House in his spare time.'
 
Wilson winced and reflected that eavesdroppers never hear well of themselves.He pocketed his pen, picked up his forms and looked around to see if he could slip away without being noticed.

 
'Well, when you put it like that.' Lily sounded regretful. 'Why is he friends with Dr House? They seem awfully close.'
 
'You think they're close?' Brenda laughed, and lowered her voice. 'Then get your ass over to the Radiology betting pool.'
 
Wilson paused, his interest caught.
 
'Why, what's that about?' Lily also lowered her voice. Sensing gossip, excitement crept into her tone.
 
Brenda's voice was dry when she spoke next, but amused.
 
'You can place a bet on when House and Wilson had their first fuck. Can be any time in the past, present, or future. Doesn't matter if you think it just happened the once, or if its been going on for years; the pool is just about the first time. Some people reckon they can pin it down to an exact day. The pool's been running for years; there's supposed to be quite a bit of money in there by now.  When the truth is out, closest bet will take all.'
 
'Wow!' Lily laughed. 'But - how will anyone ever know?'
 
'Good question. There are rules,' Brenda said. 'Main one is that if at all possible, both House and Wilson have to confirm it before anyone can collect. House is too much of a lying bastard to go on what he says alone.'
 
'But they might never admit it.'
 
'Oh, it'll all come out one day,' Brenda said carelessly. 'Those of us with money in there know we're in for the long haul.'
 
'You know, I have wondered if Dr House was sleeping with Dr Cuddy, because I can't see why she doesn't fire him, already,' Lily confided in an undertone.
 
'Ah, Cuddy and House. Now that was a whole different betting pool,' Brenda said. Wilson stopped listening, as he had learned of the pool about Cuddy and House in the past. The Infectious Diseases guys had begun a book on whether Cuddy had slept with House within days of House starting work in their department at Princeton Plainsboro, on the grounds that there was no way she would have employed him otherwise.
 
People had occasionally approached Wilson for inside information, but he had avoided them because he had been too embarrassed to admit that he didn't know. The book had paid out a few months ago, after a conversation between House and Cuddy in the clinic, which had been overheard by a number of people.

 
Someone interrupted the conversation between Brenda and Lily, and it moved on to other subjects.
 
Wilson crept away, feeling embarrassed, yet entertained. He went to relate the conversation to House for mutual amusement.
 
House was in a lull at the moment. He had just finished a case and was in no hurry at all to get another, so he took great interest in what Wilson had heard. Both House and Wilson had always assumed that the Radiology betting pool would be a simple 'are they having sex' question, but it was obviously a lot more complicated than that. Wilson watched House become contemplative, and knew he'd given him something to stave off boredom for a while. Which was good, as it meant he'd take fewer pills while his brain was occupied.

 
***
 
In the end, it took House a week to learn the details. It was a regular evening when it happened. Wilson had gone to House's apartment after work and was considering what to make for dinner. He had begun to wonder when House would arrive, when House burst through the front door, eyes bright and cheeks flushed with excitement. House put a hand inside his jacket pocket and brandished a sheaf of papers.
 
'This was the hardest thing I've ever had to track down at work,' he announced. 'Stealing personnel files are a doddle, medical files no problem, finding out the identities of Cuddy's potential sperm donors, my ass. But this - this was tough. Nothing on computer at all. Nothing in the office files. Basically I'm a genius.' 
 
Wilson took the sheaf of papers, which were new photocopies, and looked at the top page. It said in handwritten letters THE HOUSE/WILSON FIRST FUCK RADIOLOGY BETTING POOL.

 
'Oh my God, House!' Wilson was torn between disapproval and burning curiosity. 'Where did you get this? And how?'
 
House sank down onto the couch and propped his cane against the arm. 'You don't wanna know. It took me two days to narrow it down to the right office. You know how often people are in there? All the time. And it turned out to be an old exercise book with nothing on the cover to show what it was. Just by chance that I picked it up. Not that you'd never pick it up accidentally, not normally - anyway. Let's see!'
 
Wilson sat down next to House. 'You haven't looked at it yet?'
 
'Wilson, I only had five minutes to copy the damn thing and get out before I got caught.'
 
They looked at the papers together - House avidly and Wilson with hesitation, then growing amazement. 
 
Brenda was right. The Radiology betting pool was indeed based on when, and if, House and Wilson first had sex. The book had looked as though it had been started around the time of House's infarction nearly eight years ago. Changes in handwriting gave House and Wilson the idea that the book seemed to have gone through the hands of several Radiology secretaries since its creation.
 
The book took the form of a sketched timeline. It listed years before the infarction and the years after, beyond the present day and several years into the future, and at the end a list headed Never.  
 
People had written in their names, date of their bet and amounts of money placed next to approximate dates on the timeline. The amounts of money were mostly small - ten dollars here, twenty dollars there - but the number of people placing bets was really quite high.
 
'There's Chase!' House said excitedly, and squinted to see when it had been written in. 'So he thinks we first fucked ten years ago. Tut, Chase; I'd expect better from you.'
 
'And there's Foreman. Five years ago,' Wilson noted.
 
'Unimaginative as ever. Oh God, Cameron's on the never list,' House groaned. 'How on earth do people ever expect to collect on that one anyway? Maybe if we died.'
 
'Ah, but she placed the bet only a few months after she started working here,' Wilson pointed out. 'She'd have been in full crush mode. She'd probably bet differently today.'
 
'Is Cuddy anywhere?'
 
They both scrutinized the pages carefully, but Cuddy's name was nowhere to be found.
 
'Possibly as Dean she feels she shouldn't participate in such things,' Wilson suggested.
 
House snorted. 'Or perhaps they wouldn't let her join because they thought she might have inside information. Isn't that why you didn't join the Huddy pool?'
 
Wilson blushed, not having been aware that House knew about the House/Cuddy betting pool (and even less aware that House had known what it was called).
 
'You know, nobody's anywhere near the right answer,' Wilson observed instead of replying.
 
'Who's closest?' House asked, and flipped through the pages. 'Oh God, it's Brenda.'
 
They looked at the page together. Written in a small neat hand was Brenda Previn. Her guess was still out by several years, but the only bet to have gone back in time substantially before both House and Wilson started working at Princeton Plainsboro.
 
'You know, there must be a good thousand dollars worth of bets here,' Wilson remarked. 'Or more.'
 
House flicked through the pages. 'You could be right.' He frowned. 'There must be a way in on this.'
 
Wilson laughed. 'Yeah, of course there is. We'll just steal the book, write our names in by the exact correct date, put it back, come out in the cafeteria, and claim our winnings.'
 
'Wilson!' House dug him in the ribs. 'Like you'd remember how long ago it was anyway.'
 
Wilson looked at House in annoyed surprise. 'Like you would. You who gets his own birthday wrong.'
 
'You, who failed to remember a single wedding anniversary in all three of your marriages,' House countered.
 
They looked at each other. 'Go on then. How long ago?'  House demanded.
 
'You go on,' Wilson said stubbornly.
 
House reached out and picked up a blank sheet of paper. He tore it in half and handed one piece to Wilson. 'Alright, we'll both write it down.'
 
'All right,' Wilson said.
 
They both sat writing for a moment, then looked back at each other, and swapped pieces of paper.
 
Wilson had written Tuesday October 20th, 1987.  House had written 19 years, 10 months & 3 days.
 
They each looked at the papers just long enough to ascertain they'd both got it right, and then looked back at each other, remembering another city, another couch, another time, nearly twenty years ago.
 
House reached out and put an arm round Wilson's waist, and murmured, 'You didn't have these love handles then.'
 
Wilson snorted, then reached up and ruffled House's hair. 'And you had more hair.'
 
'Watch it,' House warned light-heartedly.
 
He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Wilson's. Wilson closed his eyes. Their noses met, and Wilson gently rubbed his nose against House's.  House moved his head to one side and covered Wilson's mouth with his own. Wilson kissed him back, softly at first, and then as the memories of twenty years ago continued to flood back, they both leaned in with a passion.
 
Wilson pulled back and raised an eyebrow. House knew exactly what he meant, grabbed his cane and rose to his feet. They headed for the bedroom; because in the course of their fractious and intractable twenty year relationship, some things had changed. Back then they'd grappled in the hallway and fallen in a tangle of limbs on the floor, and not thought about any of it twice.  Now they knew that spontaneity was just not worth the payback afterwards - the pain for House's leg, the agony for Wilson in causing House the pain.
 
But that didn't mean they couldn't have sex that was just as great as it had been back then. It just required a bit more invention. And sometimes the most mind-blowing orgasms came from just knowing exactly what the other wanted.
 
In the bedroom, House sat on the bed and Wilson next to him. House unknotted Wilson's tie and dropped it on the floor; Wilson pushed House's T-shirt up and over his head, then unbuttoned his own shirt and shrugged it off his shoulders. House watched the shirtsleeves roll down and the muscles move in Wilson's arms; Wilson watched House's bright blue eyes travel back and forth.
 
House pressed his face gently into Wilson's chest, muttering, 'Wilson', then moved up to nibble on Wilson's ear. Wilson breathed deeply, feeling House's stubble rasp against his cheek, his neck; so familiar, so good.
 
With House still breathing into his ear, Wilson reached to undo first House's belt buckle, then his own, and they each slid out of their pants. House sat back on the bed, leaning against the headboard, not taking his eyes off Wilson's chest, his hips, his thighs - and perfect ass, naked now and close to him, and just as gorgeous as it always had been. Wilson watched House's reaction, and felt his heart press against his chest with intensity so deep it was almost painful.
 
Wilson moved to straddle House, facing him. House felt Wilson's cock press against his own, and sucked in his breath sharply. Wilson rocked gently, then harder. The friction aroused them both. Wilson reached down and took House's cock in his hand, rolling back and forth, rubbing them together; House reached out for Wilson; they both groaned in pleasure.

 
Wilson then slid down the bed to take House's cock in his mouth; first slowly, delicately lapping at the head until House reached down and grabbed his hair and pushed him down. Then Wilson took the full length of House's cock in his mouth and sucked him slowly, up and down, until House started to buck his hips.
 
Wilson hesitated, wondering whether to keep sucking and finish House off, but House gasped, 'Not yet.'
 
Wilson rose to straddle House again. He kissed House on the mouth. House tasted himself and shuddered deliciously. Then Wilson pressed his whole body firmly against House, and House pushed back as hard as he could. They moved to a common pulse, bowing and arching together, until they came, House first, Wilson only seconds later.
 
Wilson rolled off and flopped down next to House. They both lay there for a minute, recovering the power of speech.
 
'Now if all those people so keen to bet on us could've seen that,' House muttered eventually.
 
'I'd really rather they didn't,' Wilson deadpanned.
 
***
 
Over the next few days, House observed a couple of times that there had to be a way they could make money out of this. He suggested first getting Cuddy's assistant to buy in and splitting the take, and then getting Cuddy herself to buy in, but as Wilson pointed out, there was no way that a sudden bet by either Cuddy or her assistant that was shortly proven to be right wouldn't be ultra-suspicious.
 
'And don't forget in order to prove the bet, we'd have to come out,' Wilson added. 
 
'Ah, but all we have to admit to is the first fuck,' House exclaimed. 'Which we can put down to youthful indiscretion. We don't have to admit to anything else afterwards.'
 
'Hmm, but we would be providing ammo for everyone from here on out,' Wilson pointed out. 'All I'm saying is please think this one through before you out me in the cafeteria.'
 
House and Wilson didn't talk much about the betting pool book after that, pretending when they did that it was a bit of light-hearted fun. But they both looked at it closely when the other wasn't around.
 
It was, Wilson reflected, a strange window on how they were seen by others. He was particularly struck - and he was sure House was too - by the number of bets placed for dates a few months after House's infarction. That would have been around the time Stacy left. What had they thought had happened?  Had they seen Stacy as the only barrier between them getting together? Had they seen it as Wilson giving his deserted best friend a pity fuck?
 
***
 
'Wilson! Need you,' House caught up with Wilson in the corridor outside their offices.
 
'Never thought you'd admit it,' Wilson said brightly, flicking through a file. 'Can it wait?'
 
'No.' House grabbed Wilson by the arm and pulled him towards the elevator. 'I need you to come sit in a corner and keep quiet.'
 
'Right.' Wilson eyed House suspiciously and dropped his voice. 'Is this about - '
 
'Yes. You'll see,' House pushed Wilson into the elevator. The doors closed behind them. 'Don't worry, I'm not going to out you in the cafeteria.'
 
House led Wilson to a small storeroom in the basement, full of medical supplies. Wilson sat in a chair in a corner, partially hidden from view by a stack of shelves. House perched on a table in the middle of the room.
 
'This is all very melodramatic. Now what?' Wilson asked.
 
'She'll be here in a sec,' said House. 'Shut up and leave the talking to me.'
 
'Who?'
 
Wilson's question was answered as the door opened and in came Nurse Brenda. She was looking at a piece of paper in her hand and didn't immediately see House. She shut the door behind her, turned around, saw House, and nearly jumped out of her skin.
 
'Dr House, what the hell are you doing here?' she said angrily.
 
'I've got a proposition for you,' House said smoothly.
 
'Fuck off and stop wasting my time,' Brenda snapped, and turned towards the door.
 
House said swiftly, 'I can make it so you collect on the Radiology Betting Pool.'
 
Brenda stopped and looked back at him.
 
'Nearly two thousand dollars,' House added. 'Wouldn't that be a welcome contribution to your daughter's college fund?'
 
Brenda glared daggers at him, opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again. She took her hand off the door handle and came a few steps into the room.
 
'Are you saying... I was right? You've fucked, and my bet's the closest?' she demanded. She didn't waste time asking how they knew about it.
 
'At the moment. Don't get too excited, you're still years out,' House stated. 'All I need to do is drop a few hints to a few people, and you'll lose your pole position.'
 
Brenda frowned. 'I don't believe you. You're screwing with me.'
 
'Ah, I thought you might think that, seeing as I'm such a lying bastard,' House rapped on the floor with his cane. 'So I brought confirmation. Wilson?'
 
Brenda followed his gaze, and jumped again at the sight of Wilson, sitting on a chair with his arms folded.
 
'He's right, Brenda,' Wilson said shortly. 'I've seen the book. You're closest. And I have no idea what the hell he's up to either.'
 
Brenda nodded, and looked back at House suspiciously. 'So - what are you up to?'
 
'Like I said, I've got a proposition for you,' House began.
 
Brenda smirked. 'Dr Wilson might have something to say about that.'
 
Wilson couldn't stifle a snort of laughter. House glared at him, then looked back at Brenda.
 
'You run the clinic. I hate the clinic. You can make my life easier. Give me the afternoon shifts, the quiet ones, with fewer families of vomiting children around. The times when Cuddy's busy and I can get away with sending my staff instead. Don't grass me up to Cuddy if I'm a few minutes late, or leave a few minutes early. And for God's sake don't put my staff at the back of the queue when they need a room or the MRI, 'cause I know you do at the moment and finding ways around it is frankly taking up too much of their time.' House paused. 'I reckon a year of that is worth two grand to you.'
 
'A year? Fuck off,' said Brenda. There was a pause. 'Six months.'
 
'Nine months,' said House.
 
'Done,' Brenda said promptly. Wilson gaped.
 
'So now what?' Brenda asked.
 
'Leave that to me,' House said confidently.
 
Brenda nodded and turned back towards the door. She stopped and looked back. 'I've got to ask. Was it just the once? Or have you been fucking ever since?'
 
House looked her dead in the eye and said, 'Just the once. We were drunk. And young and stupid.'
 
Brenda looked straight back at him, said, 'You're a lying bastard,' and left.
 
Wilson got up and came over to stand next to House, who hadn't moved from his perch on the table.
 
'House,' he said sternly, hands on hips. 'I can't believe you just bartered details of our sex life for nine months light clinic duty.'
 
'Can't you?' House looked at him archly. 'Shouldn't you know me a bit better after all this time?'
 
'Well, of course I do.' Wilson sighed. 'I guess I'm just hoping I'm going to wake up in a moment and find this is all a dream.'
 
'Its not details, its only a date,' House said. 'And the date of something which a hundred-odd staff in this hospital already believe happened strongly enough to put money on.'
 
Wilson shook his head. 'I still don't think it's a good idea.'
 
House hooked an arm round Wilson's neck and pulled him towards him. 'I'll make it up to you.' 
 
Suddenly the door flew open, and Brenda was standing right outside, clearly not having moved from the spot. She grinned at them triumphantly, then slammed the door shut again, and was gone. Wilson groaned.
 
'There's a reason they call her Evil Nurse Brenda,' House observed.
 
***
 
It was a week later before House found his moment, and Wilson wasn't there, rather to his relief. The first thing Wilson heard was a commotion outside his office door; a number of people talking and arguing. He recognized the raised voice of the Radiology department secretary.  Wilson felt a sinking feeling in his stomach; he thought he knew what had just happened. 
 
Suddenly there was a knock on his door, and in came Cameron, Chase and Foreman. Cameron was smiling a huge fake smile, Chase looked apprehensive, and Foreman looked as if he had only come in because someone behind him had pushed him in.
 
'Dr Wilson,' Cameron said nervously. 'Can we talk to you for a second?'
 
'Uh, sure.' Wilson put down his pen and took a firm grip on himself. 'What's up?'
 
'House was in the clinic just now and he said something... uh, that we thought you should be told. Everyone's talking about it.'
 
Wilson groaned. 'Break it to me.'
 
Cameron looked around for support, and when none was forthcoming, went on, 'Well, he'd clearly just had a very stressful time in the clinic... We were waiting for him at the nurses' station... He came stomping out of the exam room... It was very busy, there were lots of people around... He slammed a file down on the desk and said...'
 
Cameron's voice trailed away. Chase chimed in.
 
'And he said, "Not another damn STD patient!  What is it with young people these days? When I fucked Wilson all those years ago, were we that stupid?"' Chase's voice stumbled on the word Wilson but then recovered and carried on. 'And then - he looked at everyone staring at him and shouted, "What? It was twenty years ago!" And he just walked out of the door, out of the hospital, and didn't come back. Nobody dared go after him. Not even Cuddy.'
 
Wilson felt himself blushing and he put a hand over his face. Thanks a bundle, House! In the middle of the clinic. Even worse than in the middle of the cafeteria. Patients would have been there as well as staff.
 
He realized that House's staff was staring at him. 
 
'OK, so I have to go kill House,' he said, going for a breezy tone, but not quite pulling it off. 'You said Cuddy was there?'
 
'Yes - she looked pretty stunned, but then just rolled her eyes and told everyone to get back to work, it was just House being House.  Dr Wilson, is it - true?' Cameron looked as if she couldn't believe she'd dared ask.
 
Wilson briefly thought about telling her to mind her own business, but in fact he already knew how he was going to play this. Beating around the bush would only make rumors worse. He remembered House's line to Brenda.
 
'Um, yes, it's true.' He looked straight at Cameron. 'It was a long time ago. At Columbia. We were young - I was just a med student, House was a resident. We'd only met a few weeks before.' 
 
That part was actually true, and Wilson relaxed a little bit as he eased into the untrue part. He shrugged benignly and raised his hands. 'We got drunk one evening. Woke up in bed together the next day. All very embarrassing, if you can imagine.'
 
Chase looked as if he was trying to imagine. Cameron looked as if she was trying not to. Foreman looked as if he had no idea what he was doing there.
 
'So that was that. It just happened the one time. Not very exciting really,' Wilson said self-deprecatingly.
 
As the three of them didn't seem to know what to do next, Wilson added, 'Thanks for letting me know what House said,' in a tone of dismissal, and this jolted them into action.
 
Foreman headed for the door and the others followed. Once they were out, Wilson again heard a commotion outside his door, but this time it moved off down the corridor and faded. Wilson waited until he was sure nobody was near, then picked up the phone and dialed.
 
'Hey, House. You're an ass.'
 
'Wilson.' House's voice sounded a little nervous - not something Wilson was used to hearing. 'Hospital in an uproar?'
 
'You could say that.' Wilson could still hear raised voices from down the corridor. 'Your staff just came in to get confirmation from me. You would have loved to have seen their faces.'
 
'Hah.' House sounded satisfied. 'I got to see Cuddy's face, that was more than enough.'
 
'Don't think I've forgiven you for this yet,' Wilson warned.
 
'Come over this evening and forgive me then.'
 
Wilson smiled into the phone. 'You'll have to make it sound a bit more tempting than that.' He glanced up, hearing a knock on his door.
 
'All right...' House paused, then went on, his voice lower, huskier. 'Come over and watch that new Norwegian porn I got last week. You can watch me jerk off, and then I'll suck you off real slow, until you're begging me to let you come - and then you can fuck me up the ass until -'
 
'God, House,' Wilson hissed frantically. 'Cuddy's just come in my office.'
 
'Well, as long as you haven't just come in your office,' House responded smartly.
 
'No thanks to you.' Wilson sent Cuddy a strangled smile, and added into the phone, 'I'll be over soon as I can.'
 
Wilson hung up, and turned to face Cuddy, who was looking at him very oddly.
 
END